Wash fluffy tail

“Stressing? Seriously…?”

Their steps echoed as they marched upon the varnished stone floor, arriving to the candlelit changing room.

“Even doing nothing all day can get stressing.” Replied the fox. The two then went to opposite ends of the narrow room, to the furniture in place with towels neatly arranged by the side, to then begin undressing. “You know, having to make sure you’re available at all times in the shrine in case someone comes. Sometimes you can’t even nap, even if nobody visits for days.”

For each piece of clothing taken off, they laid them folded next to the towels along with their shoes on the ground next to it. Once naked in their entirety, they took a towel and wrapped it around themselves by their chest.

“Done, then?” Asked the fox, Kiyone, as she glanced at the angel with a smile. Seeing her finished, Kiyone then turned and marched back the doorway, with her companion following suit. “Ah, I forgot. Go on in while I go get a drink, alright?”

“Sure.” Shrugged the angel, Haohi.

Down the little corridor where paths split in multiple directions, Haohi and Kiyone took their own separate ones. Crossing the doorway, Haohi arrived to a great, spacious area of varnished stone much like the earlier architecture, reaching high above to end in a ceiling; after a few meters, a parapet-like border divided the area she arrived to from lower ground where the water of the underground spring gathered, both areas joined together by a few little steps right by the middle of the miniature wall.

At least, in theory. The difference led Haohi to stand there motionless, staring expressionless at how there simply was no water at all. It all was dry in its entirety. Even as she approached the border and looked as far as she could see, there simply were no traces of any water.

“Eh?” Said Kiyone in wonder upon returning. As Haohi turned her head, she found the fox approaching with a tray, with a sake bottle and two glasses on top. “I thought you’d already be–“

Her expression of confusion remained the same, still stepping forward to arrive beside Haohi, both now staring into the would-be spring.

“Is it… supposed to be like that?” Asked the angel. “Do you have to open a valve or something first?”

Without answering, she left the tray upon the little wall and walked down the steps. Haohi followed behind as she made her way to the side, marching all the way upstream. The space narrowed further and further till it turned into a little passage where light did not reach, leaving the fox to create an ethereal flame on her palm. The stonework soon turned into natural rock, reaching areas none were even supposed to enter at all, all still as dry.

Through the crevice, a cavernous crack of rough and uneven surface, the two arrived to yet another spacious area. Slippery floor and angled walls, ceiling reaching far beyond, able to only see as far as Kiyone’s flame allowed, but at the other end of the area something could immediately be seen moving: An amorphous bluish blob standing twice their size, stuck between yet another narrow crevice extending high to the ceiling. In front of it stood three more blobs humanoid in shape, gasping alerted by the presence of the two while turning their heads. In panic, all immediately scattered, only to find that of the two exits, one had been blocked, and the other was behind the angel and the fox.

“Ah shite, nowhere to run.” Cursed one of the three.

Though Haohi remained surprise, Kiyone let out a tired sigh. “Slimes…” She said. “Figured there’s nowhere they can’t get into.”

Kiyone then stepped forward, leaving the slimes to step back in fright. Haohi followed in wonder, both soon arriving to the amorphous giant blob, just to realize that it seemed a slime increased too much in size.

“…Oi.” Asked Haohi to one, startling her over the sudden attention. “What were you doing?”

“We uh…” Answered the slime. “We were playing around and she ended up getting stuck there. The water kept making her bigger and bigger and… We can’t get her out.”

“Ah, so that’s what dried up the spring.” Said Kiyone. “So, we just need to get it out then.”

Easier said than done, thought Haohi. Turning her head to the giant slime, hardly any idea popped into her mind, seeing it embedded well into the crevice. Then, she saw Kiyone approach the blob and extend a hand, to then push.

Zero effect. Second and third attempt, just the same.

“Do me a favor and see if you can do anything from the other side.” Said Kiyone.

With a shrug, Haohi held her towel tight and took flight, passing the giant slime to see at the other end what surprised her on in part.

“…Can’t.” Answered Haohi. “It’s all flooded. The slime might as well be a dam.”

She descended in her flight to stand on the slime, yet as she placed more weight upon it, the film of the slime gave in and began to swallowe her feet. In panic Haohi flapped her wings harder and harder, escaping though remaining with her feet covered in slime, arriving beside Kiyone and landing with a repulsed grimace.

“Help.” Said the giant blob, voice deepened and distorted as if choked.

Having run out of ideas if there ever were any at all, Kiyone remained silent, staring in focus. Haohi instead kicked about to get rid of as much slime as she could, before stepping back and letting herself fall to sit on the ground. The silence turned into a dead giveaway of nobody having a clue as to what to do, but in those few moments, Haohi couldn’t help but look at the slime’s core floating about in complete freedom, core still its normal size comparing to the body surrounding it.

With an idea appearing in her mind, she raised her finger to point at the core.

“If I pulled it off, will she die?”

The three slimes remained silent, taken aback, aghast, too shocked to even be reduced to a mumbling stutter at the concept of the idea.

“A- A core is a delicate thing!” One of them exclaimed, stepping up to Haohi. “One has to be careful, otherwise her entire body might just go poof!”

“Alright.” She answered, to then stand up. Confused, the three slimes stared as she took a few steps forward, arriving to the blob to see the core dancing about.

Then, with hand raised, she pursed her lips ready for what awful idea she’d have to execute. With a deep breath, she threw her fist against the slime, piercing the film and driving herself up to her shoulder into the slime. The three others gasped in fright, while Kiyone stared wide-eyed in wonder. It felt like honey swallowing her arm, flowing, writhing.

But as much as she tried, it was just out of reach. The core moved out and about wherever it pleased, going far then close, yet the closest it was just barely even scraped against her fingertip, making it an impossible task. Too deep to reach, and after a final attempt, she sighed in irritation before pulling her arm out. Dripping with slime, she swung it about to get rid of as much as she could, yet during the act another idea made itself apparent in her mind. An idea which only caused a grimace of disgust and agony.

“Any ideas yet?” She asked Kiyone.

“None.” She answered.

“Feared as much. Step aside.”

Flapping her wings, she took flight once more.

“What is she…” Asked one of the slimes, gathering with the other two around Kiyone to all watch her fly over the giant slime, seemingly without aim.

Ending in space where Kiyone’s light could barely be seen as a flicker past the slime’s body, she halted in place. Narrowing her eyes, just barely she could see the minuscule dot that’d be the slime’s core writhing about. She was in place, physically ready, but her mind still fought against the horrid idea of what she’d do, despterately looking for alternatives like a regretful mind hoping for a specific outcome after tossing a coin. Still, there were none. Closing her eyes at the thoughts of the inevitable, she took a deep breath. Then, she built speed towards the blob.

From simple hovering to true flight, to speeding like an arrow towards the blob, all with a collision course in mind. Narrowing her eyes she readied herself for impact, drawing closer to then extend her hands forward ready to pierce the film and grab the core. Within the last second before impact, she closed her eyes.

Hit. Film pierced. Though slowed down, she had built enough speed to pierce and go all the way through, to escape at the other side. With her towel caught by the slime, she shot out of the blob not only naked, but so too covered by the slime itself from head to toe. Impact disorienting her and slime weighing her down, even before impact she had figured she’d suffer a hard landing; without her wings for lift, she headed straight to the ground, rolling a few times before coming to an absolute stop.


Aching and grunting, she slowly opened her eyes. Though blurred and barely visible with her eyes still narrowed, she saw the success in her hand stretched outward. She saw the slime core in her hand, the spherical heart of the slime.

“Aight, leg it!”

Not a second afterwards, she saw a slimy hand violently take it away from her. Within her view, the slime in question ran on towards the crevice she came from, joined by the other two in their hasty escape. Little time did she have to think of any and every insult known to man, some even to apes, that a certain rumbling caught her disoriented attention; turning herself about to see behind her, she saw the giant amorphous blob slowly shaking with ever greater strength. Kiyone stared in stupefaction with her flame still on her hand, taking a few steps back, yet at that very moment part of the film broke, leaving a tiny stream of water to pour out. Another stream forced its way through, then another, and another, varying in strengths as they poked holes through the slimy dam, until at that fateful second, it all broke in full force. Though Kiyone threw herself aside, little could Haohi do other than stare wide-eyed at the mini-tsunami that soon swallowed her whole.

Kiyone, however, dodged the brunt of the wave. Having thrown herself aside, she landed on the ground to soon feel the water underneath her as it settled in. Sighing in relief and slowly standing up, she gave a glance around to see Haohi having completely disappeared from where she once was, wave taking her with it. Confusion overtook her, scanning the scenery onbly to find her towel smeared with slime beneath the spring water a short distance away. She made her way to it, now with the sound of the water by her feet echoing with each movement, and picked it up to find the slime resistant enough to the water that it’d take nothing short of a serious scrubbing to remove it.

Awful coughing alerted Kiyone. Immediately she turned her head to the source, to find at the edge of her flame’s reach the angel sitting against a dampened wall. Slime covered her entirely even past the wave not only hitting but also dragging her so far away. Disoriented and tired, she barely did anything other than attempt to remain conscious; Kiyone marched her way, worry in her eyes to soon dispell after seeing the angel relatively alright, with the signs pointing only to tiredness and discomfort rather than any injury.

“What was I even thinking…?” She grunted, to then attempt to stand up. Without delay Kiyone stepped up to her and helped her up, using her own neck as support for the angel’s arm.

“What a mess.” Snickered Kiyone. “We gotta get you cleaned up.”

With Kiyone’s aid, the two made their way through the waters still rising, entering the crevice they came from and marching along their path. In time they reached the elegant parts, where the stonework let itself be seen in the magically lit expanse; with a few more steps, they entered once more the great space of the spring, to then walk over the steps past the little wall that’d mark the spring from dry stone.

The two then marched to the corner where a faucet waited, along with a great bucket underneath and a small stool within reach. Over a tiny shelf nearby stood shampoo, soap, scrubs, all manner of washing objects, and wishing to not spend any further second with a coating of slime on her, Haohi sat by the stool. At the same time, Kiyone had headed off to return with a little basket to then take out a bottle, pouring part of its contents on her hand to then gently place it on Haohi’s head. As she began scrubbing, foam began to show from the shampoo, her hair alerady dampened enough by the wave she had taken the brunt of.

“I didn’t think you’d go that far.” Mentioned Kiyone.

“I wish I didn’t.”

“Oh come on. Had you not done that, we’d be trying to get that slime out of there for hours on end. After we’re done, we’re going into the spring, alright?”

Though Kiyone did not hear an answer, she had neither heard a ‘no’, leaving her smiling.

“Your hair is so pretty, though.” She added, extending Haohi’s hair aside as she let it flow through her fingers. “How do you keep it so well?”

“I… don’t know? I mean, I never really paid attention.”

“Aw, secret’s gone then.” She said with a quiet laugh.

As Kiyone washed her hair, she couldn’t help but look at the strands going down in front of her. ‘Pretty’, she pondered for a second, but before thought could lead to though, she felt Kiyone’s hand running down her arm with soap. She had not even noticed her hands no longer on her scalp. First she focused on one arm, from shoulder to fingertip, and then the same with the other, to soon find Kiyone moving to her back.

“Hold on, are you going to wash me completely?” She asked, turning her head.

“What? It’s the least I can do!” Answered Kiyone.

Blinking blankly, Haohi found no words to reply with. Though confused, she then exhaled lightly through her nose in acceptance before turning forward again, for Kiyone to continue with her back. However, upon ending, Haohi found Kiyone’s hands reaching for her chest, groping with soap over her midriff and breasts; nearly flinching in surprise, she could no longer tell whether it was Kiyone wanting to wash her, or using it as an excuse for fondling.

Too focused to be simple washing. Kiyone’s hands grabbed her breasts as if cupping them, gently pushing them up till the coating of soap left them to slip down, nipples passing under her fingers. Her caressing didn’t end, still holding her hands over her sking over the top of her breasts, to then circle about and returning underneath them. Her midfriff was next, passing her hands like fondling rather than washing, running her fingers on her every nook and cranny, bellybutton included, never letting go for a mere inch. As if reading Haohi’s mind, however, her caressing ended just as it reached her legs, with Kiyone taking a step aside to end up next to her rather than behind.

And just as Kiyone was about to lay her fingers on her thighs, she quickly stopped it by taking her by the wrist.

“Oi.” Asked Haohi. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Eh?” She replied, blinking in confusion. “Washing you, of course!”

It turned difficult to tell if it was mere innocence or unsubtle lying, as much as she leaned for the latter. Still, having raised Kiyone’s arm she took a few seconds to look at her in detail, to find the same kind of slime on her. How, she didn’t know, at least till she remembered how she helped her up back then. She must’ve gotten it on her that way.

“You look like you could use a bath too.” Said Haohi, growing a devious grin.

“I uh… I can wash myself, you don’t need to bother–“

“I insist.” She pressed on, standing up still holding her wrist.

“R-Really, I–“

“Stop resisting!”

With a swift movement, she stepped forward while taking off her towel, though with Kiyone’s errant movements and Haohi’s reactions in turn, both soon lost balance and fell to the ground. With her grin never dying, Haohi remained over Kiyone, pinning her down with both wrists immobilized against the ground. Tragedy had befallen the two, or perhaps fortune for Haohi in the shape of an excuse, with what remained of slime on her and the wild movements sprinkling over Kiyone’s body. A thorough cleaning would be necessary.

But her grin slowly faded away upon seeing Kiyone’s breasts. From a wide slime, to a smirk, to expressionless lips, staring blankly at the mounds in front of her. One that put hers to shame. From deadpan she turned to a smirk with narrowed eyes, partly envious yet so too devious, before grasping Kiyone’s breasts; a grasp, rather than mere caressing that’d be fitting for a bath. With her fingers pressing against her breasts, palms firmly placed over her nipples, Kiyone let out a half-moan in surprise at the pressure she had not expected at all.

“H-Haohi, this isn’t washing!” Cried out Kiyone, with Haohi toying with her breasts. Pressing, caressing, pushing and pulling, pressing them together, on and on.

“Oh sure it is!”

“They’re not even that smeared in slime!”

“Are you sure? That’s a lot to get slime on!”

Upon Kiyone attempting to struggle, Haohi immediately reacted by releasing her breasts and grabbing her wrists once more and planting them against the ground. Not ending it there, Haohi slowly and gently moved Kiyone’s wrists forward over her head, with Haohi lowering herself in turn till her breasts lay pressed against Kiyone’s. Looking over, her arms had been partly smeared in slime; pursing her lips with a next step in her mind, she began to run her hands from her wrists to her elbows, then to her shoulders, letting drip what soap Kiyone had used on her earlier.

“You looked like you liked it.” Taunted Haohi. “Groping my breasts.”

But Kiyone had no words to say, not even a stuttering denial. Haohi halted with her hands once again upon Kiyone’s wrists, to see her now breathing more heavily than before, staring at Haohi in the eyes.

“What, cat got your tongue?” Added Haohi, to receive only breathing in return.

From there she saw Kiyone’s mouth, warm breath reaching her, seeing those shiny lips parted ever so slightly. Inviting, as if, without Kiyone to do anything against the idea. Glinting, of so vibrant a pink natural color, leaving her to imagine how tasty they could be; an attraction not unlike a cherry’s skin to a starving man. Licking her lips, she knew that she could not bring herself to let the opportunity pass; slowly she began leaning her head closer, her lips moving towards Kiyone’s who did nothing to halt it, with Kiyone shifting her gaze from Haohi’s eyes down to her lips in turn.

First, skin came to touch skin. Haohi could feel Kiyone’s breathing, knowing Kiyone felt the same with hers as lips brushed against each other, at least till a further lean sealed the two shut. She moved her tongue forward to meet hers doing the same, dancing around each other to feel the warmth of one another, letting saliva mix on and on. Thoughts slowly escaped their minds, thinking less and less of anything but that in front of them, hands subconsciously finding each other and letting their fingers intertwine with one another.

From tight grip to slow caress, fiddling with each other’s fingertips, till Haohi dragged one of her hands off down to her arm, lowering further and further through her body down to her waist. She gently slid it over Kiyone’s midriff, running her fingers over her belly to feel every nook and cranny on the way, even her belly button, to lower down further still.

A gasp from Kiyone interrupted their kiss, coinciding with the moment Haohi’s finger reached her labia. Relentless, Haohi grinned before joining lips again, not allowing her a second of respite. What once was a continuous kiss turned into an erratic pattern of kissing and breathing, Kiyone finding herself breathing heavily with the massage from Haohi’s finger only caressing the outside. However, at one moment, Haohi stopped on both kiss and massage, letting Kiyone catch her breath.

“Is this your idea of washing?” Asked Kiyone with a smile.

“I should be the one asking you.” Taunted Haohi, only for Kiyone’s smile to turn into a smirk.

“At least I didn’t stop all of a sudden.”

With a swift movement Kiyone wrapped her arms around Haohi, bringing her down to continue the kiss. Haohi replied in kind with her finger, to find Kiyone already dragging one of her hands downwards till it halted over her butt, to then tighten as her fingers moulding the flesh. Their legs had begun brushing against each other, lust replacing their thoughts as moments passed, fondling one another in both gentle and rough manners.

At a certain point, the two turned aside, leaving Kiyone on top and Haohi below; wonder overtook Haohi, however, once Kiyone turned her face-down, letting her do so if only out of morbid curiosity. Kiyone then leaned down, pinning Haohi against the floor with her voluptuous breasts squished against the angel’s back, as irritating as the reminder of size was. Still, Kiyone’s hand snuck about underneath her, with one palm reaching for her breasts, and the other down below. Her fingers then began tracing over Haohi in the same manner as she had received it not a minute ago, yet despite having her head next to Haohi’s, Kiyone saw nothing but a taunting grin in return.

“You’re gonna need to do more than that.” Said Haohi, but not a second later, her eyes shot wide open as a gasp escaped her. Kiyone had opened her mouth, to gently close it on Haohi’s ear and nibble as her hands groped that which they rested upon. So too had she ceased to just caress her labia, to instead slide her fingers in at the very same moment.

Nibbling. Licking. Breathing. A merciless torture inflicted upon Haohi’s lengthy ear, going from dry to drenched as moments passed, growing sensitive with each movement brushing against it. Had it been that alone, she’d have endured, yet her breast fondled and her labia toyed with only made it worse.

The sensations, the noises, her own breathing turning heavy and her body getting hotter, she knew it’d eventually reach a point she’d no longer be able to take it. She’d only be able to endure for so much, and it looked as if Kiyone would not halt till that point arrived. Little could she do to break free, however; Kiyone’s entire weight pressed against her, and in such position there’d be no hope in wrestling her way out.

Then, an idea struck her.

Desperate, she extended her arm back, flailing it in an attempt to find the one thing she’d have to grab. Unable to see, she missed repeatedly like stabs in the dark, slapping Kiyone’s butt and thigh.

“What, am I being too slow?” Taunted Kiyone upon the act, softly whispering into her ear.

Another gasp escaped Haohi, as Kiyone quickened her act. Not only did the nibbling and fondling turn rougher, but her body pressed tighter against her, legs entangling and immobilizing her, enveloping her as much and as tightly as she could, as if it were a body pillow. Despite that, Haohi’s arm remained free, and with the pressure only worsening the sensations, she desperately kept on trying to find that which she attempted to grab.

And succeeded, managing to latch onto a certain fluff. Then, pulled.

A loud half-moaning yelp escaped Kiyone, raising her head interrupting the nibbling. Her hold had been weakened, after so strong a grip on her tail on top of the pull. Taking the chance, Haohi immediately mustered her strength and attempted to wrestle control, pushing herself up and making Kiyone fall back upon the sudden movement. No second was wasted before Haohi jumped on Kiyone, pinning her against the ground by the arms, now on top of her unlike just seconds ago. Now her thigh remained pressed against her crotch, grinding so slow as to consider it tortuous teasing.

“You shouldn’t have done that, you know.” Taunted Haohi, heavy breathing betraying her deteriorating composure.

“Really?” Replied Kiyone in kind. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself almost too much.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Not allowed an additional word, Kiyone’s lips had been sealed by Haohi’s once more, who leaned down further; breast had been pressed against breast, belly against belly, and thigh lowering till both their crotches pressed against one another. Moans from both remained interrupted by a further kiss from the other, constantly silencing one another only to break free to catch their breath, drool forming a bridge with each separation of their lips.

With arms wrapped around the other, the two moved in reckless manners yet all as one of mind. Wherever Haohi moved, Kiyone followed, and vice versa leading them to roll about on the ground, caressing all from their shoulders to their things. At one moment, Haohi rested on top; at the other, Kiyone took control. Always changing, always switching, letting the spontaneous actions dictate what to do, leaving their minds to seemingly turn off and allow their simple lust to control their thoughts.

What silence there once was in the underground spring had been taken over by their noises, of gasping ‘Haah’s inbetween each interrupted breath, of muffled moans of all pitched following each action. Some low and deep, to then turn high and acute upon a pinched nipple or any brash actions either took. Arm brushed against arm, leg pushed against leg, crotch grinded against crotch, eyes opening every now and then to find themselves locked with one another before closing. Not a single second did either allow the other to even gasp a mere word.

What amounted to so strenous an exercise had begun taking its toll, leaving their mouths dry had it not been for the saliva of the other, making their flesh and skin feel on fire with movements without a second of break. Their breathing showed its distinct sound of dry throats and exhaustion, always altered by moans in pleasure of all kinds, reacting to the grasp of breasts, toying of nipples, wet labia grinding against each other, clits toying with one another, and unbearable heat still building up in a summer day down in the spring.

“Hey…” Said Haohi inbetween panting, just now keeping her lips distant from Kiyone’s after so long of continuous contact. “Hey… I’m getting close– Haaah… How about you…?”

Kiyone could not respond in words, instead to nod in accordance while moaning following in intensity to each movements, biting her lower lip. Hoahi pursed her lips before running her tounge on them, to then straighten up out of Kiyone’s embrace; breasts and midriff separated from that of the other, though crotches still remained connected, Haohi remaining kneeling to then hold onto Kiyone’s leg. Almost as if hugging it, she used it as support to press her own labia against Kiyone’s harder and harder, grinding in any which way she could, abandoning restraint leading to panting and blushing from both. Grinning with eyes betraying her enjoyment, Haohi saw Kiyone bringing her hand in front of her mouth, closing her eyes, fingers fiddling as if looking for a blanket to grab onto had there been one on the ground.

With each push and pull of her hips, Haohi’s eyes narrowed. Ecstasy left it too difficult to even focus, making it a titanic task not to make too embarrassing expressions, an effort she saw Kiyone partaking in as well. Eye twitches, finger fiddling, arms searching for anything to hold onto, all signs of the inevitable.

Then, Haohi closed one of her eyes as she bit her lips, crossing the point of no return with a surge of energy coursing through her body; a surge seen in Kiyone as well, both having approached at the same time. Her thrusts and twists turned harsher and quicker, closing her eyes unable to contain herself, moaning ever stronger with each passing second in a chorus with Kiyone who let her voice rise higher than before.

Until, a lengthy gasp escaped from both as their movements halted in so abrupt a manner, continued only by the uncontrollable spasms of their muscles throughout their bodies. Embarrassing expressions overtook both as their strength caved in, as dopamine flooded their minds to drown out any and all thoughts in that very moment.

With the last moan over, both fell silent; Haohi attempted to move back and sit to rest, only for her muscles to betray her, leading her to fall on her back. Yet, she did not sit up, as instead she lied down to catch her breath once more. Though once so pleasurable noises reigned in the spring, now only their panting could be heard in a faint echo. Breathing on and on, their chests puffed with each inhalation, throat drying more than it already was over so much air rushing into their lungs.

With a quiet grunt of effort, Haohi saw Kiyone sit up, combing her hair back with her fingers right before a sigh in relief.

“That was… quite the bath.” She joked. She then stood up and made her way to a bucket with water, to then throw it upon herself to rid all traces of slime and soap left upon her. All of it, now gone, as if their earlier exercise had been as good a scrub as any.

Haohi then closed her eyes after finding them heavy, lifting her arm to cover them as if wanting a seconds-long nap. However, not too long afterwards a cold splash struck her, making her gasp in absolute fright and her body to jerk upright sitting. There she found Kiyone with a bucket in hand, smiling smugly. What little remained in the bucket was then thrown her way, Haohi covering her face in fear just to find it hitting her legs, eliminating the last traces of slime and soap she herself had.

“We came here for the spring, didn’t we?” Said Kiyone.

With Kiyone’s arm extended, Haohi allowed herself a second before taking it, aided up to her again. Once up, Kiyone left the bucket to march off towards the spring. Only then did Haohi pay attention to the spring itself, seeing it now as full as it should’ve been, calm and serene after what time it took to refill, crystal-clear for the floor beneath to show in all its detail as if there had been no water at all.

Upon crossing the parapet-like division, Kiyone took the tray with sake and two glasses. From there she moved down the steps, with the first step down already meeting the calm water of the spring. So followed the second and third, till she reached the bottom itself, with Haohi following suit behind. The two then sat down with a sigh in relief, springwater reaching up to their breasts with a soothing sensation to overtake them past their tiredness upon so strenuous an exercise.

Though she had closed her eyes, Haohi opened them once more upon hearing the sound of liquid poured into a glass. Glancing aside, she found Kiyone already extending a glass with sake her way. Her dry throat already ached for a drink, making her accepting without a second of delay and sip; Kiyone then began pouring on her glass, to then leave it and drink from the bottle.

Blinking blankly, Haohi stared aimlessly upon realizing the strangeness of the situation. Looking again, her eyes didn’t deceive her: Kiyone had left the glass of sake on the tray, chugging down on and on from the bottle before a loud gasp in relief escaped her lips. Too happy, she looked, even with an ear twitching to complement the smile from ear to ear Kiyone had. Though Haohi wanted to ask about the glass, fearing it’d be all that she planned to leave for her, she chose not to. If she got drunk first, then Haohi would at least be able to share a laugh at her expense with what drunken stupor she’d witness from her.

At least, as long as it wasn’t directed at her.

Story commissioned by Psychofox. Kiyone belongs to Psychofox, Haohi belongs to .less.

22 votes, average: 4.27 out of 522 votes, average: 4.27 out of 522 votes, average: 4.27 out of 522 votes, average: 4.27 out of 522 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5 (22 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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3 thoughts on “Wash fluffy tail

  1. You know, I’m probably going to catch hell for this. But you know what? I don’t give much of a damn anymore. I’ll be honest here Losenis, I gave this story a 3.

    NOT, because of assholishness, though I’ve been described as such or worse in my plentiful years. It is a good story, but it could be better. You’ve done better, I know this because I’ve read yours before.
    So, you’re probably asking: Why is Moongrim/Moron being so verbose right now?
    A: Because I’m attempting to be the change I want to see. As folks have noted, I have proposed that folks give reasons, good reasons for the ratings they give. But seldom are those who are willing to let folks know, if they give anything less than a 5.

    So, I’m doing so now. Not because I think this is hack story (It’s not). But because I’m facing my fear, and I’m going to practice what I preach. I will tell you WHY I’m giving this story a Three.
    But before I begin, let me presage with this: It’s not because of malice, but because I honestly wish to give constructive feedback, that I hope you will take to heart. As Twoheavens stated on Discord, he wishes folks would be brutally honest in their feedback with him. I will be, eventually once I get a Round-Toit with his stories.

    To begin: I couldn’t finish the story. There, I said it.

    I tried, honestly, I tried. But I couldn’t keep up.
    A) Spelling/Grammar
    You did a fantastic job of editing. I couldn’t find any. Nothing jumped out at me, spelling wise. There were a few verb-tense shifts. (Blob speaking in present tense, voice description in past-tense. Minor stuff.)
    B) Story Premise.
    I’m not exactly sure what the story was supposed to be about, even after going back and re-re-reviewing it. I’m not honestly sure. It’s probably a personal problem on my part. (Sorry.)
    C) Relatable. I found it hard to relate- enough.
    There are not enough descriptors to get a point across to me.
    Who are these people? These characters? Haohi, Kiyone, angel. You’ve mentioned names and nouns, but that doesn’t give me a feel of who they are. Yes, yes , yes, I’ve read of Haohi before, but that doesn’t tell me who she is right now. Describe her, when she first shows up in the story, tell me who and what she is, what is she doing, what impression the Narrator would have come across. First impressions and all that.
    D) Consistency.
    There’s too much telling and not enough showing.
    Example: “An idea which only caused a grimace of disgust and agony.”
    Explanation: How? On whom? On her? If so, why? What is the idea that you’re trying to convey? As the reader, I should at least get an inkling of all that.
    “An idea sprang to her mind, one that harkened back to the pain filled days of her youth. Grimacing with that agonizing memory that sprung forth in her mind, she began flapping her wings furiously. The wind of which caused the hair and fur of those around her to sway gently in its breeze.
    (Something like that.)
    E) Other
    The giant blob, the slime. The other slime. These are all characters. Why do you treat them like a face in the crowd? Even Suu of Monster Musume fame, had her own personality, distinct from the other/Mama slimes out there. I just get the sense that the characters are those you’ve not gotten to know ahead of time. Or if you have, you’re treating them like pawns in a game.

    So, all in all. Wash Fluffy Tail, is good, it just doesn’t make me wish to come back and reread it again sometime for good times sake.

    Now all that being said. I’m sure you’re probably fairly well upset with me. If so, I can grok that. Particularly due to my recent dumbassery, of which we both know I’m referring to.

    So, if you are upset and are feeling the urge to do so- I offer you up Cut and Run Chapter 11. It’s my one sole remaining all 5.00’s that the one star drive by has managed to somehow overlook. Knock it down, if you want. I’ll not complain.

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