Humpty, A Documentary


“What is love” is not a question with a tangible answer. It varies with people and culture, with its name changing with its definition. Love, union, togetherness, all names describe it, but without clarity on what it is, most would hope a passionate love between two existences would result in a child. Yet some will always struggle more than others, with certain species of Harpy struggling especially.

Jub-Jubs, Corvides, Peckers, etc., all species of Harpy are capable of laying eggs both fertilized and unfertilized, and yet the result of sex often only results in fertilization 30% of the time. Whether love has been made or not, all Harpies are capable of laying eggs, with some such as the chicken Harpy having to lay one every day. Such unfertilized eggs are characterized by their pure clean shell, without a single marking on it. Such eggs are considered delicacies in some cultures and go for a pretty penny on the market, but most will choose to simply feed these to their lovers or throw them out. When an egg is fertilized however it becomes speckled, allowing the new happy parents to know right away that a child is on the way.

Yet some seem destined to never have a fertilized egg appear. Be it weeks or months, no matter how love fills the Harpy every egg comes out the same pure white, and yet, the couple continues to try. Each try, no matter how futile it seems, is filled with the couple’s hopes and wishes, wishes that they will complete their family with a little one to love and cherish. These wishes slowly begin to fill the air more and more with each night of love, mixing with ambient mana, slowly becoming denser and more tangible. When the time is right, when their love has reached its highest point, this condensed love mana will seep into the Harpy, filling the egg with life. When this egg is laid, it will be displayed not with speckles, or a clean shell, but with a heart on it. This heart takes the color of the Harpies wings and their spouse’s hair and swirls them together, covering almost an entire side of the egg. With this the couple will know their efforts have paid off as they give the egg warmth, waiting for it to hatch.

These special eggs, Humpty Eggs, will hatch quickly as well. The average Harpy egg hatches within 2 to 3 weeks of being laid, but Humpty Eggs take but 3 days at most. It hatches so quickly because the wishes that were collected inside form a soul incredibly quickly, allowing the yolk itself inside to be born. When the Humpty hatches, its slime-like body will be incredibly soupy and runny, meaning that it will continue to spend time in its shell as its parents care for it. At this time, the Humpty will barely be able to hold its form together as it slips and slides in its shell. Like any child, it will wish for its mother’s milk, and as the mother feeds it, the Humpty’s solidity will slowly increase. After around 1 week of these feedings, the Humpty will begin to be able to move around on its own with its shell, and after 3, without it. After this point, it can safely be raised like any normal Harpy child, but that is not the end of this tale for these wondrous creatures.

Until the age of 3, the Humpty will keep its egg-like appearance. Past 3 however, the Humpty will begin to slowly take on hair, feather, eye color, and other physical qualities of both parents, but there is a rare condition however where some Humptys will keep their eggy appearance for their whole lives. Duly noted however is that no matter what, the Humpty is clearly made of slime, making them almost look like a jello facsimile of Harpies. This is a slow process though, taking another 5 years till completion. During this time the Humpty will have an extreme need for calcium, be it from the shell of unfertilized eggs, milk, fish bones, etc. With this calcium, they will form both an internal skeleton, as well as cover some features with eggshell, such as their legs, giving them a literal more solid grip on the world, and a more structured appearance. As they get older they also begin to gain more control over their internal shell, allowing them to solidify other parts of themselves more, such as making their hand solid enough for a proper handshake.

Once the initial growth period is over, the Humpty will enter their teenage years when they begin to learn how to fly. The first few flights that Humpty takes are often taught from a low height, such as the couch to the floor. The tumbles are also often self-taught as most Humptys seem to have a want to show off and impress their parents. Luckily, these creatures are still slime at heart so accidents are incredibly rare, with a fall often ending in an annoyed jiggle. Even as the Humpty learns, however, their flight is not true flight like a Harpies. Even with the hardened shells, Humptys are actually far lighter than most slimes, allowing them to float and glide, catching their own updrafts to maintain flight. At around age 15 they’ve learned how to float, but take-offs are still troublesome, and it is around now that most Humptys learn to compress themselves before springing up to give them their initial height. These “Spring-Ups” as they are called are actually incredibly powerful, allowing even the most clumsy and weak Humpty to jump at least 20 feet into the air, with the highest height for a first-ever being recorded at almost 50 feet. As they grow, the max height they can jump to can grow as well, allowing them to take off even faster than any other Harpy!

Finally, at around 18-20 years the Humpty reaches adulthood and stops growing naturally. At this stage of life, they gain as complete control of their bodies as any other slime, allowing them to grow or shrink any part of themselves as they deem necessary. It is now when they might start seeking a mate properly. Like any Harpy, the Humpty will “perch” herself on her mate as they love, taking in their love and wishes the same way their parents before them did. Of course, just like any other Harpy, an egg will start to form in the Humpty, using extra calcium in her body to form the shell. Unlike their parents, however, a Humpty egg will always result in another Humpty, ready to hatch and bring joy to the new couple’s lives, repeating the cycle anew.

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