Every Day Is Equally Shit

The sun is already setting when you arrive back home. The light shining through the windows paint the whole apartment in a warm red glow. You kick off your shoes and slump down on the couch in the middle of the spacious living room. It’s good to be back home, todays workshift was just bad. You allow a long sigh to pass your lips as you settle into the soft cushions.

With one slow movement you snatch up the remote and turn on the TV. Zapping through channels randomly, you realize that tonights program will consist of old shows and reruns. Not really exciting.

A click from the front door marks the arrival of your hyena flatmate. Her shift finished early it seems. Usually she’d be gone for another hour at least. She doesn’t say a word, just grunts and plops down next to you, eyes closed and head back against the couch. Some advertisement keeps blabbing about the benefits of fishoil and oyster pills for new husbands. Next channel it is. First season of Star Trek seems to be marginally more interesting than dolled up monstergirls praising the rejuvenating qualities of frozen human semen.

“How was your day? Better than mine?”, you ask eventually. She smiles a humorless grin and goes, “Nah,” before adding, “Don’t ask.”. Most of her work consisted of listening to customers yell at her over the phone and unfuck whatever needed to be unfucked. The customer is always right of course. Obliging her, you keep your mouth shut. Both of you just sit there on the couch for a while, appreciating the mindnumbing entertainment and the fact that tomorrow is a saturday.

At some point you notice her snoring very lightly, head tilted to the side. Eh, at least she looks relaxed now. Getting up from the couch is harder than it seems. The cushions are just too soft and inviting and your joints pop in a protest against your decision to move.

Having scored yourself a can of icecold beer from the fridge, you drop your tired ass down on the couch again. The water condensing on the metal looks like the best thing that has happened to you today. Your roomie shifts around a bit and stretches her legs all over the place, paws trembling and toes grasping thin air.

“So tired…”, she complains. You glance at her. “Just get to bed then and try to have a good nights rest?”. Her response involves blinking and yawning. Then she turns her back towards you and leans against your shoulder. “Nah,” she says while scratching her stomach, “this is much more relaxing.”

Feeling her weight against you feels oddly comforting and you instinctively put your arm around her shoulder. Captain Picard nods his approval from beyond the screen and she cuddles against you. Absentmindedly you start running your fingers through her hair and just enjoy her presence. A deep content sigh from her makes you smile for the first time today. Your fingers brush past the base of her ear and she tilts her head a bit. A fluffy ear hits your nose and you exhale noisily, causing her to viciously flip them both back and forth.

“Ah! Careful!”, she says and puffs some strands of hair out of her face that her flapping ears knocked down. Your hand moves a bit further up and you start kneading an eartip instead, firstly because it will prevent her from hitting your face with her ears again, secondly because of that low humming sound she does. If she was a feline, she would purr like an engine. Maximum cuddles have been achieved. Even her shoulders are arching back a bit just to have some more contact with you. Smiling, you take a sip of beer.

“Pass me the beer please?”, she asks you over her shoulder. “You should get your own.”, you reply. One of her bad habits involve hogging snacks, and beer too. “Our fridge is full, I stocked up earlier.”. You emphazise your rebuttal by blowing against her ear, making her snicker against her will. Picard shows up on the screen at that exact moment, giving his best “Make it so!”. You swear the timing couldn’t have been more perfect if it were choreographed.

She was trying to hold her laughter before, but this sends her flying over the edge. A Hyena trying not to laugh is like a live grenade after all. Very contagious. You blow over her ears again and watch them twitch and flatten down against her hair. “Stop it! That tickles!”, she snorts in between her guffaws… it’s very unique but cute. She is definitely trying her hardest.

Still pressed against you, giggling and squirming makes you want to tease her. Dropping your hand down to her breasts, you grab on and give that C cup a nice squeeze. She gasps and turns her head around to stare at you with mock disbelief, mirth twinkling in her eyes. You give her the most shiteating grin you can muster and squeeze again. “Honkhonk!”

That’s all it takes for her to completely lose it. She tries rolling away now while chortling from the top of her lungs, tears running down her cheeks from laughing too hard, but you hold her tight. You get away with it for now, she’s pretty strong if she wants to.

“Stop it,” she pants again, breathing noisily, “you’re making me horny!”

Them’s fighting words. You brush your hand over her breast again and this time you feel a distinct hard nub pressing against her tanktop. Pressing against you again, you notice her wiggling until you hear the telltale sound of her zipper being undone. Hiking her butt up and giving her tail enough freedom to swish about, she peels herself out of her pants. Another sip of beer moistens your throat. Her legs are a lot more interesting than Picards receding hairline. Noticing your attention, she slowly stands up in front of you, turns around to give you a phenomenal view of her tight ass. She hooks her thumbs into her panties and pulls them down slowly, the fabric fighting the curves of her butt just inches away from your face. Her panties get punted through the doorway into the bedroom and she settles back down on the couch next to you with a victorious smile.

Yep, she’s pretty much naked from the waist down, her shiny black pseudo flopping on the couch. Turning her head towards you, she just says “Freedom!” and starts giggling in her trademark hyena style.

Oh well, when in Rome…

Unzipping your pants earns you an appreciative nod from your exposed roommate. “That’s more like it, boy.”. You just shrug and kick off your pants across the room and pull her against your chest, not quite spooning. The damn couch just isn’t big enough for that, but at least she’s now halfway across your lap and snuggling against you. Scratch the beer, this feels way better. Too good actually. Your manhood is reacting to the skinship and starts pressing against her side. “Oh hi there!”, she blurts out while giggling some more. “Seems like someone is having a better day than both of us.”

She sits up and snatches away your beer and starts chugging it before you can even muster a single word of protest. Damnit. You frown at her in mock anger, “Are you gonna replace that or what?”. She belches in response and buries her face in your crotch instead, booping your tip with her nose. The sudden sensation makes your penis jump a little, brushing it past her lips. After a quick kiss, she deepthroats the whole shaft within seconds. Thats… an alternative to beer.

All of a sudden she stops. Seconds trickle by with her lips pressed against your pulsating cock but she still waits.

“What’s wrong?”, you ask with a hint of desperation in your tone. Another shudder runs down your spine as she nips your glans lightly with her teeth and snickers at your reaction. “You know,” she starts, “the least you could do when I’m blowing you is finger me. This lady has needs too.”

A groan escapes your lips. That’s so typical of her, but what can you do. So you shift to your left and bend over her a bit to reach for her pseudocock, by now engorged and throbbing in unison with her heartbeat. You grasp it from the front, her pussyjuice dripping through between your fingers and leaving a messy trail on the couch. That’s pretty wet, even for her. Enough juices to slicken up her whole length like lube. She must want it badly.

Just as she bobs down again and you feel your dick hitting the back of her throat, you dip your middlefinger deep inside her cock up to your knuckle. There is zero resistance going in, but when you try to pull it out it feels like a suction cup. Another squeeze for good measure and you feel her respond. Strands of girllube are trickling down your finger and she is arching her back off the couch to meet your hand, taking your finger as far inside as it will go. Mushing her squishy dick against you, silky insides give way into her real vagina, the internal muscles clamping down on your fingertip. The difference in texture and tightness is incredibly tempting, but for now you make do by adding a second finger into her jet black pseudocock.

A gasp escapes her as you stretch out her hole and ram your digits inside, penetrating her pussy. You switch to a slower more deliberate massage and she moans with your cock deep down her throat. “Harder…”, she mumbles and continues to vigorously suck you off. Easier said then done though because your arm is almost fully stretched and your fingers are starting to get exhausted. Still you give it your best shot.

Apparently that was not enough for her. Her teeth are brushing up against the base of your dick. She props herself up a little bit more, which allows her to snag your wrist with a paw and almost rams your fingers into her pussy. A loud moan from her makes your dick vibrate in her throat. The tickling sensation spreads to your balls and you feel your blood pumping in your dick, nearly making her gag but it doesn’t look like she cares at all.

Holding your wrist in a vice like grip, her hips start bucking wildly, smearing her girllube all over your hand and essentially fucking your finger with her pulsating pseudo. There is zero chance you will get your hand free at this point. All you can do is clench your teeth and enjoy getting one of the wildest blowjobs of your life. Your stomach tightens up and you gasp for air. When did you start holding your breath? Her head forces itself down on your painfully erect penis and you feel the silky sensation of her tongue swirl around your balls. By now she is moaning loud enough to wake the neighbours.

Moans turn to short grunts and her moves get a lot more jerky and abrupt. A last pull on your wrist plunges your fingers deep inside her convulsing pussy and clear warm liquid squirts out all around your hand. Your own climax is not far off either. That familiar feeling of tightness in your balls is starting to rise up and you’re seconds away from unloading what feels like several weeks worth of pent up need. With your free hand you push her head down and a wave of pleasure washes over you.

Ears perking up, she looks up at you from her post-orgasmic haze and sucks you in as hard as she can. Even your fully engorged dick gets bent a little bit from the incredible suction. Hyenas have considerable power in their jaws and this one is hellbent on milking every last drop of semen from your balls. Cum rushes forth and you just can’t stop pumping load after load down her throat directly into her stomach.

Exhausted, you slump back into the couch and your cock pops out of her mouth with a wet noise. It’s hard to think straight after coming like a freighttrain. Also your throat is horribly dry and parched, making swallowing difficult. Too bad your beer is already empty.

“You look like someone whos mind has just been blown.”, she snickers from your left, tail wagging and all smiles. The only proper response to that is a groan. Hyenas do have a horrible sense of humour, but make up for that by having lots of it. Sadly. Her face lights up at your response and she jumps off the couch and prances around in front of you.

“Hey,”, you ask, “if you’re standing, do you think you can make it to the fridge?”.

“Nuh-uh.”, she goes, crossing her arms. “But I got something for you to drink right here!”

With a twirl, she swings her dong right in your face. Too surprised to react, it hits your cheek with a wet smacking noise, leaving glistening drops all across your face and shoulder. Her black appendage is swinging from side to side in front of your nose, still dripping a bit from fucking your fingers.

Laughter bellows from her in true hyena fashion. “Oh man… the look on your face…”. Adding insult to injury, she reaches forward and tousles your hair with both hands, still yipping at your expense.

Enough is enough. She drinks your beer and all you get is a schlong in your face. You’re about to dispense righteous justice upon her and you’re staring right at her weak spot. Since a hyenas pseudopenis is actually nothing more than a massively enlarged clit connected to her vagina, it’s also very sensitive. Especially to things like warmth and also the silky insides and the front. Hands placed firmly on her hips, you pull her towards your face and suck her cock into your mouth.

The tail stops wagging almost immediately and her yips melt into a long drawn out moan. It tastes a bit sour and salty, but not bad. Letting your tongue lap over the front of her smooth pseudo and across the squishy yielding opening rewards you with a musky but still sour flavour drooling from the tip. Her hands aimlessly grasp your hair and you feel her hips tremble.

“H-hold on!”, her voice comes through clenched teeth and she tries to pull away. Reaching for her escaping member, you give it one firm squeeze and push your tongue inside. That’s about as far as you can take this because the next second her knees give out and she drops to the floor like a wet towel, legs spread and holding her crotch with both paws.

A hyena rolling on her back, hips spasming and gripping her clit, panting like a dog in heat. The sight makes you hard enough to plough reinforced concrete. Her smell permeates the whole room and makes your head swim with the full force of her pheromones. If you’re not going to take advantage of this right now, your almost painfully throbbing penis will never forgive you. Come to think of it, chances are she won’t either. Finally she focuses and looks at you again. The way she licks her lips and pulls up her tanktop, letting her puppies bounce free seal the deal for you.

You drop to your knees and force her shoulders down. Penis rubs against pseudo and she bites her lip, oozing girljuice from her tip, mixing with your dripping precum and leaving thick strands of mess on her stomach. A fluffy paw grabs your manhood and bends it down, lining it up with her slick entrance. A single push and silky warmth engulfs everything.

“Fuck you’re so hard!”, she gasps and then bites your shirt, pulling you down until you feel her hard nipples against your chest. Strong furry legs wrap around your back and prevent any chance of retreat. You feel your penis poke against the entrance to her real vagina and instictively force your hips down like a jackhammer. Claws dig into your shoulders and she whines under you like a puppy, her pussy tightening up and milking you with its soft ridges as you pound her like an animal in heat.

Sweat drips down your back and the exertion makes you clench your teeth, but your testosterone drives you on like a racing engine, fucking her like a piston and hammering her to the floor. Muscles hurt but you’d rather die before you stop now. Your fucktoy stopped responding a few seconds ago and her eyes stare vacantly towards the cieling, her breath coming in ragged gasps and her cunt convulsing around you like a living being. You try stealing a kiss but your frenzied movement makes that quite difficult. However she responds by weakly lifting her head to meet you and she licks across your soaked and salty chin…

…and that small gesture kicks you over the edge. Grunting through your clenched teeth you mash your pelvis against her and grind as deep as you can. Cum starts gushing from your balls and flood your dick with incredible force and it hurts to pump so much seed into her womb. Her whole body shudders against you and her legs squeeze you like a vise. It drags on for over 10 seconds and it feels like your nuts are trying to claw their way to freedom along with it. Lips finally meet each other and her tongue clumsily flicks against yours while you cum into her deepest spot. Her own labored breathing is replaced by a soft mooing sound. It’s the first time you hear her doing it. For now you are just content pushing her down and feeling her cling to you like she’s drowning.

What feels like minutes pass and she still did not let go of you. After your earthshattering orgasm, your circulatory system decided to take a hike and finally could be convinced to move back home. There is still a slight rushing sound in your ears and your connected bodies are slippery with sweat. Joints scream in agony as you’re trying to shift your position and you decide to give up. Give it maybe twenty… no ten years and you’ll probably die of a heart attack while having sex with her. You always liked a challenge.

“Mmmmmm”, she still moos almost like a purr and rubs her cheek against yours. “I have no idea what made you go like that, but i’ll have another serving of that later, pretty please?”

Answering doesn’t work. All you manage is a pitiful croak. Your throat is dry enough to file fingernails with. You swallow a few times before trying again. “I need a drink. Let me go.”

She shakes her head and just hugs you tighter. It’s not like you could slip out anyway. Her pseudo still engulfs you up to the hilt and no drop of cum has leaked out so far. A fluffy paw starts stroking your neck and softly brushing through your hair. Goosebumps shiver up your spine. That display of soft affection feels so incredibly nice and you just slump your head down and close your eyes.

“You know what?”, she whispers in your ear and starts giggling softly. “If I could steal your beer again, I totally would.”


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