Daily Life With A Lilim Halloween Special Part 2

~Terminating Miss X~

As the door closed behind him with a click, he retrieved his weapon from the inventory.

‘At least I don’t have to load the BBs in the magazines manually.’

A pleasant surprise he found was that putting the pistol and magazines into his inventory loaded them with the BB pellets automatically. Of course, he imagined he had to switch magazines manually, but that was the least. Still, as a precaution, he inspected the magazine, and once he saw all was in order, he reloaded and cocked back the hammer to rack up a round.

‘Time to hunt a Bogey, I guess.’

With only two paths forward, he went up the stairs, pistol at the ready. He came upon a common room with a fireplace on the right, a staircase to the left that led to the second floor, and a pair of double doors forward. There were also two doors littered about, both locked. His first course of action was to unlock the doors beside the fireplace and staircase that he was sure led to the maze of corridors.

The second thing he did was to begin looting. Using his handy switchblade and lockpicks, no drawer was left unopened, no glass display remained unshattered, and no antique vases were left unbroken. Throughout it all, he came away with more currency, ammo, and a silver coin. He looked at the coin, finding it to be larger than the copper coin but smaller than the gold coin.

Looking back at the display room, he supposed that this particular coin was the one he would use to access the display cases. Unfortunately, he also remembered that the display cases had numbers on them, so he would need more silver coins.

No Hi-Cappa for him yet.

“God dammit”

Before he could lament his current situation, however, there was a bang by one of the doors next to the fireplace. Stanley turned around, pistol ready, only to be surprised when instead of an eight foot thicc girl, it was a significantly shorter zombie girl wearing a sexy maid costume. The sight of the objectively pretty corpse maid managed to calm his heckles despite her abrupt and shocking entrance.

As for the zombie maid, her pale gray eyes met his before surveying the room. As she did, he noted how her previously dull visage began to show an increase in a single emotion, anger. Out of curiosity, he followed along her line of sight, noting the vandalized drawers, busted display cabinets, and broken antique vases.


He had messed up and vandalized what was once a pristine room; of course, as a maid, she would be pissed off.

Of course, she would be pissed.


And pissed off she was as the maid began to shamble forward with her expression twisted in annoyance as she reached her hand out. Unfortunately, despite her rage, she could only manage the typical zombie shamble in motion. Stanley, on the other hand, had more than enough space and skill to put one on her forehead.


Stanley jumped as the sound of a live round went off and the zombie’s head jerked back.

‘That’s new’

There certainly wasn’t a live-round sound when they did the Easter thing, not that he was complaining. The only thing he could complain about was the fact that, because it was a spring-loaded pistol, he needed to draw back the hammer to load a round into the chamber upon each fire. In the end, it took five shots to the dome before the zombie maid went down and disappeared, leaving more currency.

“That is such bullshit.”

Five headshots for a single kill was utterly ludicrous but the worst part is that it was par for the course with the Resident Evil games.


After going up to the second floor, Stanley realized that he definitely triggered enemy spawn as the bedroom he came upon had another zombie maid in it, and it took around the same amount of headshots to kill her. He didn’t even get any returns on that investment, as she dropped copper coins. Walking down the opposite hallway, he came upon a locked door with what appeared to be one half of a figure featuring a succubus with her palms up.

Simple puzzle; he just needed to find the other half of that succubus idol to open the door. Moving on to the last door on the corridor, he opened the door only to be met with the lower half of a leotard-clad body and thick thighs.


Before he could jump back, a big, meaty paw moved with surprising swiftness and enveloped his head. Just as he thought the appendage was incredibly soft, the Bogey handled him with such care that he hardly felt any kind of pain or discomfort despite literally lifting him by the head. He felt his body swing around, but that didn’t stop him from popping one off her wrist, which did fuck all. Before he could pull back the hammer to load another round, Miss X slapped, or rather flicked, the pistol out of his hand.

In the next moment, his entire body was enveloped in plush softness as Miss X gave him a full-body hug. If he wasn’t already used to such things from Ezraphel, it might have been enough to incapacitate him with warm softness. Unfortunately for the Bogey/Golem, however, she had nothing on a Lilim, and so rather than being placidly incapacitated, Stanley felt annoyed. He was annoyed at both being caught and what he needed to do to get out of this particular situation.

Using his Incubi strength, he reached down with the ease of someone who has done this many times before and grabbed Miss X by the pussy. He felt her body stiffen, incidentally pulling him more into her softness. Stanley didn’t stop there and immediately found the nub he was looking for through the now slightly damp leotard and pinched.


With a moan of pleasure, Miss X dropped Stanley; he wasted no time as he scrambled to his feet with a switchblade in hand. His eyes darted about the immediate vicinity, and he noted that while she had him, Miss X had brought them into the room that looked like some kind of tea room. At least that’s how it looked, given that the room had various potteries on various cabinets and a table with a tea set on it.

It was at this table that he saw his discarded weapon and practically lunged for it. After picking it up, he cocked back the slide, loaded another pellet in the chamber, and took aim. By that point, Miss X had already recovered, and just as she met his gaze,


One shot to the head made her flinch, and he saw her eyes narrow before she started stomping towards him.

“God, dammit,” he grunted, dodging her attempts to scoop him into a bear hug by ducking around the single table in the room.

For a moment, he thought she would maneuver around the thing; however, Miss X proved herself to be beyond the trappings of mere videogame programming and simply shoved it aside. While she did this, Stanley switched his aim from her head to her knees and fired. It took several shots before the Bogey fell to her knees.


In his desperation, he forgot to keep track of his ammo count and ran out.

“Shit,” he hastily switched the empty magazine for another that was half full.

Luckily for him, Miss X was still staggered, which meant this was his cue to run; however, something at the back of his mind just would not let him end it there. In a split moment, a thought came to mind—one that had him psyching himself up before acting. Channeling his inner Leon Kennedy, Stanley did the unthinkable and ran up to the kneeling, staggered Bogey before roundhouse kicking her in the face.

It was sloppy and poorly executed, but it did get the job done, and Miss X was sent sprawling on her back.

“Holy shit, that actually worked!” he exclaimed in exasperated disbelief, the adrenaline rushing through him from the prior events.

His joy lasted up until Miss X jerked upwards to a sitting position like the Undertaker or Michael Myers.

‘Holy shit, that actually worked’ he thought with dawning horror.

It might have worked a bit too well because the previous mostly neutral expression worn by Miss X was now replaced by a trembling frown of frustration and hurt feelings that belied an inner rage. All of this was directed towards him, and Stanley decided right then that discretion was the better part of valor. Unfortunately, Miss X blocked the only door, and he didn’t have enough bullets to bring her down again.

‘If she would even fall for it a second time,’ he thought in aggravation before he looked behind him.

Apparently the room was under construction, with a few flimsy-looking boards blocking a crevice that was just big enough to let his midget ass through. Stanley looked back, finding Miss X back on her feet, and immediately popped another shot at her knees, only for it to be blocked by one of her paws. A low growl of aggravation was the result of his second attempt at staggering her. Not that Stanley cared as he fell into a dead sprint, using his Incubus speed and strength to shoulder-check the boards.

He either underestimated his strength or overestimated the wood because Stanley crashed through it. Unfortunately, it turned out the boards did not block access to a different room but rather covered a hole and he fell right through it.




Stanley fell heavily to the bottom of his chest and let out a groan of pain. “Ugh, ooow~”

Gingerly, he turned over to his back, looking up; he must have fallen at least twenty feet. A moment later, a familiar head stuck out, looking down at him with concern.

Stanley couldn’t help but laugh as she flipped her off. “Fuck you, you Bogey bitch.”

Miss X scowled at him and pulled away, causing him to laugh even more before his laugh got caught in his throat with a strangled yelp at what he saw moments later. For his insolence, Miss X chucked one of the chairs down at him, forcing Stanley to scramble away before the piece of furniture could hit him.


After weathering the short storm of splinters from the impact of the chair, Stanley got to his feet, dusting himself off as he did. Carefully, he poked his head out to look up, and he saw Miss X peering down.

“You fucking missed!”

The Bogey’s eyes narrowed before she once again went away.

Stanley waited a few more seconds before chuckling to himself “haha, that’s going to bite me in the ass.”

Feeling the pain from his fall Stanley pulled out a bottle of red liquid which looked like a generic health potion from a fantasy game rather than the herbs from the game.

‘And here I thought of some weed jokes to taunt her with.’

Oh well.

A single gulp down the hatch and the aches were gone immediately “hmm, taste like cherry juice.”

He stretched a bit loosening up the kinks in his extremities before getting back to the task at hand. Looking around the area, he found himself in a basement area made of old stone with stacks of wooden crates which he immediately destroyed and looted the contents of. For his trouble he received some currency and pellets which he loaded magazines with.

After this, Stanley made for a flight of rickety wooden stairs that led to what was definitely a large basement area filled with zombie maids. Instead of wasting his newly applied pellets on headshots, he instead disabled their kneecaps and proceeded to roundhouse kick them into oblivion before stabbing them in the neck with his switchblade. It took more physical effort on his part but it saved him ammo and grief.

There were several doors in the basement, with the first leading to a statue on the far wall that had the other half of the succubus figurine embedded within. He retrieved the figurine before making his way out. The next two rooms had him find more ammo, herbs, and coins, both copper and silver.

It wasn’t until he arrived at the second-to-last door that he found it. Sitting on a display plaque like a trophy and looking as pristine as how he kept it in his basement was his Maruzen M1100 GBB shotgun. He expected such a prize to be guarded by a miniboss or puzzle or something, but nope, it’s just sitting there in some random room in the basement of a mansion. Taking it didn’t set off any traps (though that remains to be seen for when he actually left the room itself), not that he wasn’t grateful for it because he wanted to take a moment to appraise his prize.

Everything seemed to be in order, surprisingly enough, with even the gas reservoir at full capacity. After loading the three shells, each containing five pellets, for maximum damage, he found that pushing the bolt forward and listening to the mechanism shift actually gave him chills. It also gave him the urge to test out his new toys, and wouldn’t you know it, the zombies stopped spawning.

The last door opened to a set of stone stairs that led to what he could only assume was a storage area considering it was filled with random furniture, book shelves, and breakable objects that were basically non-monetized loot boxes. Breaking a nearby crate open revealed a pair of shotgun shells and picking them up had five of his pellets each auto fill them.

‘Now we’re in business.’

Now while this was all handy Stanley did not fail to realize what this room actually was and as his spidey senses tingled the bookshelf leaning against the far wall just ahead of him exploded in a shower of wood splinters and book pages. As he beheld the sight of an 8-foot-tall Kool-Aid Bogey herself looming from the second hole she made that day he felt vindicated.

‘Yep, definitely a boss room.’

Before he could even get a chance to level his newly acquired weapon the Bogey immediately rushed him with the speed of a charging bull.

“Whoa shit!” Stanley exclaimed as despite his surprise he managed to throw himself to the side, letting her slam into the bookshelf that was behind him.


His attempts at a dive roll were laughably pathetic in execution, but his superhuman physique compensated, allowing him to recover in a scramble to his knee as he leveled the shotgun at her.


As a green shell ejected from the side, the spread of five BBs shot forth from the M1100 on a vague collision course for the Mamono’s knees, only to be blocked by a pair of large paws.

Stanley’s eyebrows rose in mild surprise “huh, that’s new.”


The low growl was all the warning he received before Miss X rushed him yet again. Stanley raised his weapon for a head shot, only for Miss X to raise her paws, creating a makeshift riot shield of plush. With a grunt of aggravation, Stan had no choice but to mount a retreat, though he soon found himself unable to outrun the Bogey he didn’t need to as he took a sharp turn at a bookshelf. A moment later he heard a distant crash causing him to slow down and look back.

Miss X wasn’t charging him anymore and it clicked in his mind ‘she can’t do sharp turns while charging.’

A classic videogame boss trope.

Of course he knew what had to be done now and abruptly he crouched a bit and began moving through the bookshelf maze. Luckily with him no longer in sight Miss X seemed to re-adopt her initial and very audible trotting keeping him aware of her location.

‘So it’s this type of boss battle’

With that thought in mind Stanley had two choices before him. He could either sneak around to find an exit and slip by the Bogey or attempt to neutralize it through continuous cunt shots (because there is no way she as going down in a single hit).

‘Convention and common sense tells me to go the stealth route. But on the other hand, fuck if I want this bitch hounding me at random times throughout my play.’

Ultimately he sighed and whispered to himself “guess it depends on if I find more shotgun shells.”

Yeah thing about ammunition in this game is that its pellet driven. He two shotgun shells but he doesn’t lose them when fired, he loses the pellets while the empty shells are auto returned to his inventory. Now does that mean he can do an infinite shotgun blast with enough pellets?


While the shells are auto returned to his inventory and auto-filled with pellets he still needed to load them manually. Besides he needed more than two shells and a lot more pellets to feel confident about taking on Miss X. At the same time he didn’t fancy stalking round a maze with no way out so finding an exit or at the very least knowing where said exit was is also at the top of his to-do list.

‘Which means I have to loot and sleuth.’

Not a problem judging by how distant the sound of Miss X’s loud trotting was. Or it should have been as he came across a massive breakable vase and hesitated.

‘How loud is this going to be?’


Only one way to find out.



The sound of porcelain breaking was damn near deafening which highlighted the pause in Miss X’s movements. Stanley wasted no time in collecting his loot (more pellets) and creeping away as quickly and silently as possible. Just as he did the sound of crashing bookshelf sounded, each getting progressively closer to the position of smashed vase. During this Stanley came upon another crate and broke it open hoping the noise of the Bogey’s charge would mask the sound of it breaking.

It thankfully did as Miss X continued a straight line charge for his previous position resulting in a room shaking collision with the wall that had Stanley wincing. Out of curiosity he poked his head out at a safe distance finding Miss X shaking off her disorientation before looking around the immediate vicinity. Once it was clear that he wasn’t anywhere near the Bogey gave a little huff and stomped her foot in frustration before trotting off. Worryingly it was in the direction he left in though it didn’t appear she was tracking him by scent.

‘Thank fucking God.’

Creeping away from that side of the massive atrium Stanley was witness to the trail of destruction left behind by the Bogey and swallowed.

‘I’m pretty sure getting hit by that would kill me.’

And it is only his confidence in Ezraphel not wanting to actually harm him that staves off that notion before it pervades his mind. Also the discovery of some discarded loot lying around also worked as a distraction.

‘Silver lining, she brakes open the loot boxes during her charge.’

In addition to being able to break chests during her charges he doesn’t have to alert her every time he comes across something breakable. Unfortunately it’s a double edge sword because for as massive as the arena turned out to be cover isn’t very plenty just strategically placed and her destroying them isn’t sustainable for his survival.

‘Where’s that damn exit?’

The door he came through was a no go as it was essentially a dead end with extra space and he found the hole she came through was blocked from the other side. Eventually, after careful maneuvering he did find another door except it was locked and the keyhole looked predictably exotic.

Well damn.

‘Plan B it is.’

A Little While Later…

‘God I hope this works’ thought Stanley as he hefted a crate and smashes it against the wall some ways away before ducking behind a bookshelf for cover.

As expected Miss X reacted immediately, in fact unlike before there wasn’t even a pause in the sound of her movement. Stanley braced himself behind the nearby bookshelf wincing at the sounds of crashing and heavy footfalls that ended just a few dozen feet from his location. Peaking around the bookshelf he was greeted by the sight of her stopping at the wall looking down at the crate before looking about.

Stanley ducked back quickly yet silently, took a deep breath and tossed a piece of wood out of cover before bolting away as quickly and silently as he could with the brisk sound of heavy foot falls behind him. Miss X didn’t rush so much as she jogged to his former hiding spot while Stanley went around back. As the Bogey investigated Stanley appeared behind her.

“Surprise Muthafucka!”


A shotgun blast to the back of her knee made the Bogey fall forward in a stagger giving Stanley the time to run up and do a poorly executed yet still effective  drop kick to her exposed back. As the both fell Stanley was the first to scramble to his feet reloading the spent shell he unloaded two into the back of the Bogey’s head. Then he reloaded both shells after two seconds and did it again exhausting most of his pellets. He still had more however as the Bogey to all fours and turned a glowing red eye glare at him from over her shoulder Stanley knew for a fact that it would be useless.

So once again he ran away though not before looting the crate he ended up smashing in the first place giving him two more shotgun shells to add to his inventory. Not that he could savor that little victory as the heavy footfalls of a pissed off Bogey followed him. Too bad for her Stanley immediately went into a patch of bookshelf maze to lose her through. Eventually he heard the audible frustrated growl echo signaling that he lost her.

Before he could breathe a sigh of relief however the sound of breaking bookshelves reached his ears. Then another and another and another and he quickly got the idea of what was happening. Miss X tired of their game of hide n seek was destroying his covers. Not just the bookshelves but also the furniture and he could hear the grunts of frustration from her as he did so.

‘Ah shit, now I pissed her off.’

It wouldn’t be long until he’s forced in a situation where he’d have to fight her in a cleared arena. A silver lining to her wrecking everything is that he could use the noise to break more loot boxes. He found more shotgun shells bring his total amount to seven which is the maximum his Maruzen could hold, he also found more pellets to supply all of said shells and a silver coin. All in all not a bad haul and it managed to take his mind off the impending confrontation because he had no idea how he was going to put Miss X out of commission.

That was the thought until he managed to find a weird key.

‘I’ll bet my left nut this opens the exit.’

Miss X was breaking her way through his little section and the only reason why she wasn’t done was because she was being very thorough. He could definitely cause another distraction and head for the door and hopefully get out before she realizes he’s gone.

‘Knowing my luck the moment I open that damn door she’s going to do a Tank charge straight to my location.’

Then it’s a fucking chase and he’ll definitely get away…for a time but the she’ll pop up and start hounding him again. It will be like this until he finds a way out of the mansion and even then according to Rowena she’ll pursue him once outside.

“Her weakness is the clitoris.” The memory of Rowena’s voice echoed in his mind.

‘Why the hell am I remembering that?’ he lamented.

{Because you need a way to put her down and shotgun blasts to head ain’t cutting it}

[Hate to say it bro but as much as I’m a firm believer of ‘All You Need Is Dakka’ you clearly don’t have enough fire power for this.]

It was bitter pill to swallow but he had two choices: run away and continued to be stalked or induce orgasm and get a reprieve.

…he really wanted to get past this mansion.


He really couldn’t help himself with that one.

There was a bout of silence after that.



~God dammit man~

‘I said that out loud didn’t I?’

*Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *Thump*


Stanley started running, already thinking of a plan as he switched out his shotgun for a pistol he cleared what was left of the bookshelf maze and backed himself against the wall.

“Come on, come on-”

Not long after Miss X came charging through and as their eyes met her face seemed to darken giving her red eyes a sort of glowing effect. Stanley immediately went to put a pellet in it which she proceeded to block with a paw which also blocked her view coincidentally. At the last second, before she could slam into him, Stanley ducked her literally blind charge, missing her by the skin of his teeth. He turned around in time to watch as she slammed into the wall paw first.

Turns out the wall was sturdier than normal and managed to hold up against her charge something she obviously didn’t expect given how she staggered back from the self-inflicted hit disoriented. Stanley took advantage immediately and a blast of pellet shot to the back of the knee had her toppling forward onto all fours once again. This time Stanley chose not to unload one into her plump, heart-shaped ass.

He put away his weapon leapt at the Bogey doing a knee slide up to her rear and rip aside the leotard to reveal her slit which was already getting moist. Then with nerves of steel and hands that have pleasured demi-goddess of sex more times than he cared to remember Stanley proceeded to give Miss X the most intense and pleasurable fingerbanging of her existence.

Miss X’s reaction?


The sound of her loud hentai screaming practically shook the walls and he wouldn’t be surprised if it could be heard throughout the entire mansion. Stanley ignored this as he continued his work with precision and stone faced countenance. Miss X was an instrument and Stanley played her beautifully. In only a matter of a few short minutes the Bogey’s back arched and Stanley finished had to back away as she sprung a leak, so to speak.

It turns out Miss X was a squirter.

He does not feel surprised by this.

In fact, as he looked down at his defeated opponent, Stanley couldn’t help but feel that there was something fundamentally wrong with this scene. That discomfort he felt earlier since his second run-in with Bogey resurfaced, robbing him of the joy he should have felt at his accomplishment.

‘…accomplishment?’ he questioned with a scoff as he looking at his hand slicked with familiar yet unfamiliar juices.

He defeated a plush-like Dommy Mommy Bogey-Golem trying to smother him with hardcore TLC by fingerbanging her.


After marinating on that for a bit, he finally summed up his tumultuous thoughts into three simple words that rang with an almost palpable truth.

“This better be a onetime mechanic Ez.”

His slimy hand curled into a shaking fist

“This fucking better be.”

~Welcome to Ambergarde~

Stanley didn’t immediately go back to Rowena after his defeat of Miss X. Oh no, as a completionist and someone who was obviously perturbed with the manner in which he ended up defeating the Bogey, he spent a significant amount of time after the fact exploring the mansion. Of course, if you ask him the main reason for this course of action will always be the pursuit of loot. On his journey however, he also found bits of lore scattered about in notes and whatnot. As distasteful as he found all the lewdness to be, Stanley can still respect and appreciate the effort Ezraphel put into crafting the world.

Unlike in the games, enemies didn’t respawn, which saved him a lot of grief. Still, of all the loot he uncovered throughout the castle, the most valuable of the lot had to be the silver coins. As much as he wanted to Stanley abstained from returning to the ‘art room’ and instead made his way back to Rowena.

“You actually managed to do it,” was the Wight’s response when he came back and showed her Miss X’s dropped loot of a massive crystalline effigy of her torso and the special key to exit the mansion.

“I am very impressed.”

Stanley didn’t have a scowl on his face that was only minutely less severe than the one he had prior to washing his hands of Bogey Girl Cum.

“Am I also going to have to fingerbang your other subordinates into submission?”

He spoke in a relatively calm tone; however, the inherent edge behind his words elicited a sense of danger, even to the Wight, who hid her apprehension behind her fan.

“Only if you are interested in trying your hand at that,” she joked, only to tense up at the growl and the spike of an oppressive aura emanating from the man.

Hiding the embarrassing squeak behind a prim cough, Rowena continued, “But no, my other subordinates are not as naturally robust as Miss X so there will be no need to resort to that. Though you will obviously need better caliber weapons.”

Thankfully, with her words, the tension seemed to drain from both the man and the atmosphere, causing the undead matron to also be relieved.

‘If I wasn’t already dead, I would be holding my breath,’ she thought wryly.

“Right, who am I going after next?”

“That would be Beatrice,” Rowena informed with a frown, “a former knight I took in after her failed defense of her former lord castle, which ended with her death. She was put in charge of defending my holdings.”

“You put someone who failed at their job in charge of your security?”

“There were extenuating circumstances surrounding her death; Beatrice did not fail her duties,” Rowena defended with furrowed brows. “Even now, after her betrayal, she still devotes herself to the defense of the lands from invaders,” her red eyes peered onto him, “and infiltrators.”

“Naturally,” he drawled.

“Luckily for you, along with being a knight, Beatrice is also a weapons collector whose domain happens to include armory.”

Stanley perked up at this “go on.”

“She herself has taken quite an interest in these foreign weapons. Despite not using them, I imagine she has quite the collection scattered about.”


“They are in places you will most likely not be able to access. Not to worry, I will have my servants bring them to me, and you will be able to collect them at your leisure.”

“At a price, right?”

He could imagine Cheshire smiling behind her fan right now “naturally.”

Stanley could only shake his head in acceptance. “Am I going to have to come back here every time I want to buy something from you?”

“No, no, no, seeing as how you are aiding me, the least I can do is make it more convenient. I am already working on setting up shop in other areas, and I trust that you will see me again during your travels, wherever you may go. But to make it easier.”

Rowena snapped her fan close before it became enveloped in a ghostly pale aura. Pointing to the side, the aura jumped out and grabbed something before, with a flick, sending it to Stanley, who caught it easily. Looking down at the object, he found it was an old-style compass with a gem at the center that flashed a dark purple.

“Much like this room, my shops will be warded against detection and protected from intrusion. You won’t be able to find them without that compass, and if you happen to be in need of my services, it will guide you to the nearest one in your vicinity.”

“Handy,” he pocketed the compass in his inventory and asked, “what exactly should I expect from Beatrice?”

Considering she’s involved in protecting the place, Stanley was expecting actual armed guards and whatnot.

“Before her demise, Beatrice was a knight commander of some renown. Her personality may be rigid and layered in tradition, but she is a seasoned warrior with years of combat experience, and her skills with a blade are second to none. And that’s when she was alive.” Rowena added.

‘I figured as much.’

“And now?”

“The same, but layered with superhuman strength, speed, and resilience, as well as wearing enchanted armor and carrying an enchanted sword.”

“How does that hold up to a gun?”

“Funny thing about that; she wondered the same, which is why she had tested herself against the myriad of foreign weapons.”


The Wight winced. “She found them wanting, to say the least.”

“Oh my God,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, in fact, she found them to be so useless that she left a few scattered around her territory.”

Stanley perked up “does that mean?”

Rowena smiled “my servants are gathering them as we speak, though, to be honest, I doubt having additional firepower will make much of a difference. Mundane weaponry, no matter how foreign, won’t do much against enchanted armor.”

“So I need to get around the enchantments.”

Rowena nodded “indeed, which is why I recommend you visit the chapel and receive a…” Her face twisted slightly “ugh, the Chief God’s blessing.”

“You keep a church nearby.”

“I assure you, it was not my idea,” the Wight informed, “unfortunately, its construction was part of the deal I made to acquire Moira.”

“Does anyone even go there?”

“Despite her current status as a priestess of Hela, Moira still visits the chapel to pray to the Chief Goddess.”

Stanley opened his mouth. “that’s…” He then paused, remembering Banshee’s backstory and title before shaking his head, “no comment.”

Shaking her head, Rowena continued, “in any case, you’ll need to go through the village proper to reach there.”

“Let me guess,” Stanley interrupted. “I’ll have to fight through the residents to get to it.”


“As long as I don’t have to induce an orgasm to beat them, I can deal.”

“Once you clear a path to the chapel, I urge you to visit me before you enter.”

“I was planning on doing that anyway.”

As if he’d willingly face a boss going in half-cocked.

Speaking of which…

“You got any silver coins in there?”

“I’m afraid not, but I did find a particular weapon that may act as an upgrade to one you seldom wield.”

Stanley’s interest peaked, only to be disappointed when she revealed said weapon.

“Oh, it’s a knife,” he muttered with disappointment.

“A combat knife,” Rowena emphasized before adding, “enchanted to be unbreakable.”

Unfortunately, if she was expecting him to be impressed, then she was surely disappointed when his eyes narrowed instead.

“That explains why it’s so expensive.”

“I’m offering a discount.”

“Wait, this is the discount price?” He made a face and said, “You can keep that.”

“Are you mad? It’s an unbreakable knife!”

“And? It’s not like I’m stabbing anyone.”

The truth is, using a knife on someone never even occurred to him. He’s more Ethan Winters than Leon Kennedy in that sense.

Rowena pursed her lips “I see, then perhaps this will be of interest to you.”

This turned out to be a gold ring with runic engravings. As Stanley read the summary, his furrowed brows rose as his curious yet doubtful eyes lit up with interest.

“I see I’ve now stoked your interest.”

The ring, as it turns out, is enchanted with a spell that increases proficiency in knife combat. With it, a complete amateur would have the knife-fighting capabilities of a trained veteran. Everything from stabbing, slashing, cutting, and parrying will be at his disposal should he don the damn trinket. And paired with an unbreakable enchanted combat knife meant…

“I’ll take them both.”

Rowena’s smile was the epitome of smugness as she spoke, “Of course, provided you have sufficient funds.”

Stanley looked at the cost of the ring, then added it to the cost of the knife, and his reaction is summed up in a single word.



Stanley exited the mansion with a scowl.

Who would have guessed that a magic, unbreakable knife and a ring that could give him an advanced combat skill would be so expensive? Thankfully, the crystalline effigy as well as the jewels he found lying around the mansion and in the display room were worth a lot to the vainglorious Wight and covered the costs enough for him to buy additional ammo and health potions.

In order to get to the church, he needed to go through the village where it was located, and that meant tangling with the villagers.

‘It’s looking a lot like RE:4 right now’ He remembered thinking, ‘which is ironic considering what I’m about to do next?’

Following the path Rowena gave him, he came upon a gate, and beyond that gate was a dirt path that was mostly obscured by overgrown plant growth. Halfway down, Stanley broke away from the dirt path and into the bushes on Rowena’s advice. The path would have taken him to a gate with a lookout that would have sounded the alarm upon seeing him. The alternative path had him crouching through unkempt bushes to a side fence that was deliberately broken. This is what Rowena had her loyalist servants set up after he beat Miss X and went exploring.

On the other side of the fence was a house; he was now in the village proper. He couldn’t say much about the architecture or general layout, not because he didn’t care about such things (he didn’t), but because his attention was taken by a nearby zombie. This one wore peasant clothes and was preoccupied with looking down a well. Stanley made sure to check the area before creeping towards the Zombie’s exposed flank while withdrawing his brand new knife.

Once he was close, he jumped up, reaching for her mouth to muffle her surprise, a kick to the back of the knee to bring her down to his level, and a sharp stab to the back of her cranium. The result was a smooth textbook takedown courtesy of the ring, and the Demon Realm Silver blade sank into the zombie’s head as if it were butter. As Stanley dragged the body out of sight, he picked up the loot and began to survey the area from his hiding spot.

The village was named Ambergarde, and it was currently crawling with Zombie villagers on the prowl. Some of them were even carrying weapons in the form of literal torches and pitchforks. The reason for this became obvious as he saw his wanted poster plastered on the wall of the house he was hiding behind.

He counted at least a dozen oddly sexy corpses shambling about aimlessly and clicked his tongue ‘am I going to have to clear out everyone?’

It was looking like it. He didn’t see any inconspicuous bell towers in the distance so nobody’s going to be running off to play Bingo. He could be wrong but better to prepare for the worst but hope for the best.

And in this case ‘let’s see how far stealth takes me.’

Spoiler Alert: It took him surprisingly far, actually. Personally he chalked it up to the shitty intelligence of the Zombies something which he has no doubt was on purpose all thing considered, not that he was complaining about that. The village or rather this area of the village was larger than he thought and it’s not as if he has a ‘Detective Mode’ HUD.

Eventually however his luck ran out and he was discovered not that he was really concerned about it. So as the horde of Zombies gathered in front of him, and Stanley dropped his latest victim and rolled his shoulders.

“S’up, bitches, who’s next?”

BGM: Resident Evil 4 Wesker Theme Remix

The Zombies began to circle him, and Stanley pulled out his combat knife just in time for one of them to lunge forward with a pitchfork.


With an almost practiced ease, Stanley parried the farming equipment and did a side kick into her gut, knocking her into another zombie and sending them both to the ground.

Seeing the loose circle of zombies encircling him, he took out his gun and popped off two shots in the knees of another at a relatively weak point before running up and kicking them in the face.

Stanley made his way out of the ambush circle, ducking an attempt at grabbing him before shooting the offender in the knee. As the zombie staggered, Stanley shoved the knife in her head, dropping her.

Things were chaotic, but Stanley was managing… until…


Suddenly, a Minotaur enters the scene with a giant spiked Warhammer, causing Stanley to stare in open-mouth shock.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

The Minotaur locks eyes with Stanley before charging forth with a warcry.


“God dammit, Ez!”

Stanley locked himself in one of the vacant houses, overturning a cabinet by the door as a makeshift barricade and picking off any of the zombies attempting to climb through the window with precise shotgun blasts to the face. Unfortunately, he was only one man, and the house was fairly large. Not to mention, he’s pretty sure the house wasn’t meant to take hits from a damn warhammer.

Eventually he was forced to admit defending the position was a lost cause and retreated to the second floor, where he kicked over a ladder and its occupant attempted to get in. Another crash resounded, and the zombies as well as the Minotaur on his trail came up. With a second glance out the window, Stanley bit the bullet before turning back to the slowly advancing horde.

“I’ll just let myself out.”

He then proceeded to jump through the second-floor window and into a conveniently placed bale of hay, Assassin’s Creed style.

Through his various ammunition-saving experiments, Stanley found out that sufficient blunt trauma to the head or neck without the use of a gun or knife can be used to put zombies down. This resulted in him reliving his WWE fanboy phase.

“WELCOME TO SUPPLEX CITY!” Stanley shouted as he grabbed a zombie by the waist and swung his body back, using his superhuman flexibility to pull off a perfect Russian suplex.

It was the first perfect one after several fumbles, and Stanley was admittedly very excited about finally figuring it out.



Stanley could no longer put off taking care of the Minotaur. He’s thinned the zombies enough not to get immediately swarmed, and he’s proud to say that he didn’t waste any bullets while he did…for the most part.

“God damn, you’re a big bitch,” he taunted while switching to his shotgun.

The Minotaur simply snorted before raising her warhammer to swing at him. At the same time, Stanley raised his shotgun, taking aim.



Stanley thought the Minotaur was just as stubborn as she looked; however, Stanley has managed to concoct a plan. The plan involved a horse stable that was thankfully devoid of horses and a lit lamp conveniently hanging over the entrance, where he led the Minotaur and two zombies.

Switching to his pistol Stanley took aim and lamp and muttered, “Hasta luego.”

A single shot rang out as the pellet hit the lamp at an angle, causing it to smash on top of the Minotaur, dousing it in oil and setting it on fire, which quickly spread to the zombies next to it. All of them started to scream and groan, but thankfully none demonstrated any kind of complex emotions or mannerisms that would suggest even a facsimile of sentience.


With a shotgun in hand, Stanley proceeds to finish off the four remaining zombie villagers, feeling like he’s an on-rails shooter with how he’s essentially mopping up the stragglers at this point. Yet another point to the villagers essentially being NPC mobs set to attack the player and nothing else.

And as the final shot put down the last zombie, the man released a breath. There weren’t any bodies to provide evidence, but Stanley had just killed what is essentially an entire neighborhood of its residence.

Talk about a one-man army.


~Genre Switch Is A Real B*tch~

After thoroughly looting the now abandoned houses and surrounding area Stanley’s compass suddenly lit up and he followed it to the center of the village where he found Rowena. The Wight had somehow set up shop in the middle of the town square out the back of a massive luxury carriage. Where it came from? When she set this up? How she did it without him noticing? All questions he chalked up to ‘magical bullshit’ and left it at that.

A question he didn’t bother keeping to himself however was “why are you looking at me like that?”

And indeed the Wight was giving him a look somewhere between bewilderment, disbelief and amusement.

“You have an incredible propensity for violence Sir Stanley.”

“You saw that huh?”

“I did.”

That’s when Stanley realized that he essentially just murdered over a dozen of her citizens.

‘Ah shit’

“Is that going to be a problem?”

“It is fine” she waved off “so long as the corpses are intact they can be revived.”


There are no corpses, they literally disappear a minute after he kills them. He was tempted to ask but decided not to press any further so as to not break the simulation.

Unaware of his thoughts Rowena continued “but did you have to induce so much property damage?”

At that she gestured to the horse stables that were already burned down.

‘Damn, that wood burns like tinder.’

“How else was I supposed to take out the fucking Minotaur?” he scowled with an accusatory glare at the Wight “you never told me anything about a Minotaur with a war hammer.”

“That is an addition I wasn’t aware of” Rowena’s lips pursed “a troubling prospect.”

So her information may not be 100% reliable then.

‘Whatever I was basically winging it from the jump anyway.’

“You told me to check with you before I went to the church. Well here I am, now what? You said I needed the Chief God’s blessing?”

And isn’t that a shock. For Ezraphel to involve the Chief God in this he didn’t think she had it in her.

At the mention of Mamono-kind’s ultimate enemy Rowena’s visage twisted in distaste “in a manner of speaking yes. Specifically you will need to steal an artifact within the church that has been gathering holy power for the better part of three decades. Don’t ask me how that is possible because I don’t know, Moira has not seen fit to tell me.”

Stanley merely raised a brow at that but left it be with a shrug “whatever, I need some more ammo and you got anything new?”

At this she hesitated “ah, about that…”


“Moira has declared the church and its surrounding land ‘hallowed ground’ and has enchanted it so that no one may carry any weapons across its threshold.”

“You’re kidding me.”

She winced sympathetically “I’m afraid not.”

“So I won’t be able to defend myself when I get attacked?”

“The church is abandoned for the most part” she informed “you will only have to contend with Moira.”

‘I’ll only have to contend with the Banshee boss.’

“How am I supposed to fight against someone like that?”

“You don’t” she informed “you will have to sneak past her.”

“I am absolute shit at stealth.”

“It seemed to work well enough for you before you got bored with it.”

Stanley clicked his tongue almost forgetting that the Golems were basically shit tier AI when it came to detection which is the only excuse he would give as to why he lasted as long as he did in his poor attempts at stealth play.

“I’m not dumb enough to think that it wasn’t anything but a fluke. I need insurance just in case”

The Wight huffed “very well, since you are being such a bore about it I do have a means to skirt around that.”

And with that she reached down into the carriage and presented him with “a flashlight?”

Not just a regular flashlight but one of those ‘tactical’ flashlights that you’d see security or armed forces use.

“Is that what it’s called?” Rowena wondered

“Yeah” he said absently as he observed the item “so I’m guessing these runes on it make it so that the light scares the Ghosts away.”

“Dissipates them actually” she corrected “it is modified in a way that it will emit holy light. With it you will be able to defend yourself without suffering the consequences of the enchantment.”

“Because it’s not a weapon right?”

“Not a ‘traditional’ one anyway.”

“Uh-huh” he gave her a look “what’s the catch?”

“The catch is that it currently has no power source.”

“I’m guessing the artifact in the church is supposed to be the power source.”


At that Stanley sighed “okay, how much is it going to cost?”

To that Rowena surprised him by shaking her head “for this no charge.”

‘No way’

That seems too good to be true.


And it is.

“I would like for you to do me a favor.”

“I thought taking care of your traitor problem was a big enough favor.”

“And I am providing you with assistance through my services and knowledge in exchange”

“By having me pay for it.”

“Well how do you expect me to pay my agents who are the ones bribing the other servants to retrieve these items?”

Stanley hesitated before grudgingly accepting her point but not before grumbling a parting shot “should’ve told me that in the first place.”

Rolling her eyes Rowena continued “now then here is what I want from you…”


Stanley paused at the gate that led to Moira’s domain, as it were. Beyond it laid a thick fog that obscured the path looking like the entrance to a Soulsborne boss room. That did not bode well for his mental state but with shotgun in hand and grit in his teeth Stanley opened the gate and pushed his way through. By the time he reached the other side his hands were empty however a check on his inventory revealed his weapons to be there but unattainable.

‘At least they’re still there.’

Stanley trudged on.

Moira’s church was located on a segregated piece of land, considering it was erected to worship the enemy deity of all Mamono it wasn’t at all popular. Not that the Banshee seemed to care as from what he gathered from Rowena the place was basically built so Moira could wallow in her own despair.

‘And speaking of…’

The more he walked the more he could feel the atmosphere starting to get to him. The trees were dead with branches looking like gnarled fingers grasping at him, the air was permeated with a mist making it difficult to see beyond a certain point and the silence was only broken up by the occasional sounds of a crow or raven cawing or flapping their wings.

‘Fucking creepy ass birds.’

The path eventually opened up and the mist cleared enough for him to see beyond a few feet. Unfortunately the sight he beheld was not a welcoming one.

‘And there’s a fucking graveyard…lovely’ he thought as he beheld a veritable maze of unmarked graves.

Suddenly he became aware of a sound and immediately he ducked low for once grateful of his height as it allowed him to hide within the field of tombstones in a crouched position. Or more likely Ezraphel made the graves bigger on purpose because he’s not that short anymore and tombstones are not that big. In any case as he crept through the macabre maze he soon realized the sound he was hearing was of a crying woman.

And with that realization the Left 4 Dead Witch Theme started playing in his head. He didn’t even bother checking the map as he crept forward since there was literally nothing else in the area. It was a straight shot to the church and incidentally the source of the crying was in the same direction.

Stanley would like to think of himself as a gaming connoisseur. He’s played a lot of games, every genre of games at least twice and he always tries to do this to completion if not one hundred percent them. That said if someone were to ask his preference then he would prefer shooters and fantasy RPGs over atmospheric survival horror games that give you no weapons and relies on stealth and puzzles for progression.

Not saying he can’t appreciate such games. Amnesia: The Dark Descent was groundbreaking, Alien: Isolation was his 2014 horror game of the year, Outlast made him shit bricks and Soma is an underrated narrative masterpiece. Hell he’ll even say that the ‘House Beneviento’ section of is the best part of Resident Evil Village and it’s not even close.

Unfortunately there is a difference between playing a videogame and doing a live simulation. It’s not that Stanley couldn’t do a stealth play but it was tedious as fuck in real life and after getting a taste of pure uncut violence back in the village his trigger finger was itching to pop some heads.

Eventually he managed to spot the figure of a woman kneeling by a grave sobbing into her hands. The good news is that her position made it so that he was in her blind spot and with her eyes obscured mean he could move away from the embodiment of hentai gothic fetish without her noticing. He was about to do just that when the sobbing abruptly stopped causing him to instinctively freeze in his tracks.

Carefully he peaked around the corner to see the Banshee give a final sniffle before standing. After brushing off her knees she started moving off, thankfully in a direction away from where he was going. Stanley watched as she left, her form more gliding than walking and not a single sound came from her beyond some sniffling. Deeper into the mist she went until her form was completely absorbed.

Stanley wasted no time in continuing his path though curiosity had him check the grave the Banshee left and found a single coin with a skull on it. The coin is a ‘Hel Coin’ and the description pegged it as macabre good luck charm that symbolizes a second chance at life after death.

That means…

‘Extra life, let’s fucking go!’

After this nothing of note happened for the two minutes it took for him to creep towards the church. He only started to calm down when he got inside and closed the door making sure to keep an eye out for the Banshee the entire time. That relief lasted about as long as it took for him to see the church. Now there wasn’t anything wrong with it visually. The interior reminded him of a regular church with pews, stained glass, a pulpit and littered with Christian-esque religious iconography.

Contrary to his assumptions everything looked well kept and clean. He would have said it looked nice except for the cloying gloom that seemed to permeate the place. Stanley had been too weary of the Banshee outside to truly appreciate it but he realized even before he entered that the place radiated dread. The light muted as it was outside barely shined through the stained glass. There were lit torches lining the walls and a chandelier above yet the shadows remained.

The whole thing raised Stanley’s anxiety through the roof and he couldn’t even think of a quip or joke to lighten the mood. Even the voices in his head were strangely quiet.


In fact aside from the sound of burning timber and flickering flames of the torches there was an eerie absence of sound in general. Thankfully Stanley could see the artifact he was looking for. It worked in breaking up the gloom of the place but metaphorically and quite literally. As in there was a literal ray of light over where the artifact is being held that did a better job of keeping the darkness at bay than the windows or torches. Stanley did not hesitate, once his eyes lay upon the artifact he made mad dash towards the pulpit where it lay reverently on a pedestal.

The closer he got the more he felt warmth and the less trepidation bore down on his psyche. So pronounced was the change that Staley found himself feeling reverence for the artifact for clearly it was holy in origin.

Then he actually got a good look at it and…

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

For lying upon the pedestal were four D-batteries. Now don’t get him wrong, they looked very impressive with runic script in place of brand names and a near ethereal light shining off them but still…D-Batteries.


With absolutely no fanfare whatsoever took out the flashlight and loaded the batteries. As he put in the last one and screwed the cap on Stanley felt a shiver run down his spine.

“My child~”

The voice he heard was absolutely haunting as it was dreary and carried with it an echo that seemed to reverberate through his auditory nerves. Slowly Stanley turned his head to find Moira the Banshee looming over him. Now that he could get a better look at her he saw that Moira was a deathly pale slender beauty with raven hair cascading down to her small of her back, pointed elf-like ears, black tear track markings on the corners of her eyes and a voluptuous body that is highlighted by her choice of clothing.

She wore a sheer near see through dress with a large slit on either end exposing her pale thicc thighs and made it rather obvious that she wasn’t wearing underwear. She had bone-like corset that emphasized her prodigious chest and a bone rosary with a skull face at her neck. She had detached sleeves secured around her biceps that fanned and ended with skull ornaments. Finally she wore a black shawl over her head almost like a hood that seemed to somehow partly shadow her face. Her eyes were a haunting bluish green in the same vein as Rowena’s spectral hands and there were already unshed tears at the edges.

In all Moira looked like the weeping Goth Milf of every man’s dreams and Stanley was no exception. Just as the thought of Goth Ezraphel entered his mind Moira chose that moment to resume speaking.

“Have you come to pray to our Lord and Savior, the Chief God?”

…and just like that the spell was broken.


While his brain tried to come up with a response to that cringeworthy question Moira’s eyes looked beyond the man to the empty pedestal and Stanley could actually feel the change in the atmosphere from dreary yet ambivalent to tense.


‘Ah shit’ he backed up.

That feeling of dread returned tenfold and for a moment Stanley felt so overwhelmed by her presence that his mind went blank with terror.

“What have you done with the artifacts?” she demanded.

The question shook him out of his stupor.

<Use the fucking holy flashlight stupid>

Oh look the voices are back.

As the Banshee reached out to him with her pale hand Stanley pointed the flashlight at her and let it rip.



The response was immediate as the golden light enveloped her form Moira released a bloodcurdling scream before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Then there was silence.

‘That can’t be it.’

Then the flashlight started flickering and by the time he looked at the thing it went out. He then became painfully aware of a mental cooldown gauge pictured in his mind’s eye.

“Rowena you fucking bitch” he hissed almost helplessly before the torches next to him winked out.

Stanley wasted no more time and started sprinting towards the door. As he did the torches started to go out as he ran past them.

‘Come on, come on, come on, come ooon…’

He arrived at the final torch blew out and threw himself out the church doors. He tasted sweet freedom for but a moment until something snagged his legs and he ended up face planting on the cobbled ground. Turning around he saw a spectral skeleton hand gripping his leg before more erupted from the ground pulling him flat. Then Moira stepped out the shadow of the darkened church interior with her hand outstretched looking very displeased even as tears ran from her eyes like a waterfall.

“You will not escape, thief.”

In response Stanley shined the flashlight at her face causing Moira to let out a keening wail. Redirecting the light the spectral skeleton hands shuddered before dispersing in ectoplasmic smoke. With his leg free Stanley started to make tracks but as he ran a loud wail of despair sounded causing him to wince and cover his ears. Stanley felt the mana wash over him and in that moment two things happened.

First the mana from the wail carried in a gust of wind that blew through the area at first seeming to disperse the mist however that was not to the case as he felt the mist absorb the mana after which it flowed into the ground. Within a few seconds the entire area was almost completely devoid of the ever present mist letting Stanley finally see the full scope of the environment.

There were graves everywhere.

It hit him just then that he wasn’t on church grounds, he was in a fucking cemetery. A cemetery owned by a literal priestess for the Goddess of Death whose mana just soaked into the ground.

{I think we all know where this is going}

And just as anticipated the first skeletal hands punched through the ground before pulling their owners through the soil and tombs. To Stanley’s credit even as he observed the signs of the undead literally pulling themselves out of their graves he never stopped running. Unfortunately his straight shot path to the exit got blocked by some undead coming out from under the cobblestone path.

It caused him to stop and ready his flashlight only to switch target when skeleton hands erupted from underneath and grabbed onto his leg.

“You will not escape!”

With a curse he shined the light on the hands holding him and they fell limply. He turned to the Banshee however her frame was hidden behind a group of Skeletons. As he looked around he found himself being surrounded by a small army converging on his position. Seeing his options limited Stanley had no choice but to take a detour through the cemetery in an attempt to circle around the hoard.

~To Be Continued~

Author’s Notes: Waddup it’s ya boy back at it again with an ill timed release. This one was supposed to come out on Friday but I’ve been busy. The next part should be the final one and yes I’m still in the middle of writing it. If you’re interested in the progress you know where to look: www.Patreon.com/Streggaeworks  

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