Daily Life With A Lilim Halloween Special Part 1

Author’s Notes: I know I’m late for the Halloween bit but when have I ever been known to keep a proper schedule with this shit. In any case this is Part 1 of a possible three part special, I say ‘possible’ because this is roughly half of what I’ve already written and I think I’m only halfway done. Anyway you be judge of whether this was worth the wait.

~Stanley’s Most Tolerable Time Of The Year~

Of all the commercial holidays making their annual rounds Halloween might be one of the few that Stanley actually acknowledges as opposed to ignoring. If one were to look at it from an angle and squint real hard they might even believe the man to actually look forward to it. Mind-blowing, but as it is with anything involving Stanley Berkowitz and genuine enjoyment/anticipation it needed to connect to activities under his usual purview for genuine enjoyment.

In the case of Halloween first off some of the most fire content are released on this particular holiday. Horror movies (even the cheap/goofy ones) are a guilty pleasure for him and the reason why he still keeps subscriptions for certain streaming services. Each year no matter what he always sets aside some time on Halloween to binge new horror movies of which there are a lot.

Then there are the videogames.

Ever since Five Nights at Freddy’s blew up on a budget of the first combo at your local burger joint Indie developers have had a field day with similarly low budget horror games on Steam. Personally while he thought the first game had a certain novelty charm to it the franchise has since blown up into a massive garbage fire perpetuated by content creators doing playthroughs while acting like fucking obnoxious man children overreacting to the most cookie cutter ‘jump scares’ to squeeze as much out of the franchise with their audience as they can in the same vain as the developers with the IP.

The only truly positive thing to come out of FNAF blowing up was the fact that it put Indie games in the spotlight. If that game can spawn a multimillion dollar franchise then who’s to say someone else couldn’t catch lightning in a bottle? The result was mostly forgettable god awful low effort FNAF clones but there have been some worthwhile horror games over the years as well.

Outside of the Indie scenes are the themed events in some triple AAA games. Even old games no longer at height of their relevance can make a comeback with a decent enough Halloween themed event. A great example is Rainbow Six Siege: Outbreak but Ubisoft being Ubisoft they took what could have been their annual ‘Pumpkin Spice Latte’ and decided to milk it only to kill the cow in the process then reanimate it as the Frankenstein abomination known as Rainbow Six: Extraction.

Seriously, fuck Ubisoft.

Getting back to the topic of Halloween itself, unlike with most Stanley actually participates in the local tradition. That doesn’t mean he hangs up spooky decorations or wears a costume because that was too much work and frankly he’s not that gung-ho about the holiday. No what he does is something much more important and worthwhile to all involved…he hands out candy to kids when they trick-or-treat.

That’s right believe it or not Halloween was the only time of the year where Stanley willingly does charity. And yes, no matter what people say handing out free candy to kids who show up at your door is charity. If they throw the tradition card at him then he can say the original trick-or-treat tradition had people doing small performances to be rewarded with treats rather than just showing up in a bargain bin costume.

Now the reason behind Stanley’s participation in this tradition was partly due to sentimentality and a bit of sympathy on his part. Some of Stanley’s fondest childhood memories were of Halloween specifically trick-or-treating. Dressing up in cheap store bought or handmade costumes, going door to door and receiving free candy, after which he and his friends would take back their haul to whoever house is closest before sorting, trading and occasionally tossing one or two of their bounty.

It was good times all around and it made him develop something of a personal attachment towards the act of trick-or-treating even if he no longer participates. Because of this attachment he chose not to half-ass it. There was no setting boxes or buckets of candy outside and letting the kids have at it because expecting kids to see a bucket of candy laying out on your doorstep with no protection and expecting them to be reasonable is supremely naïve at best and fucking stupid at worst.

Even if he didn’t have an inclination to not trust people as far as he can throw them Stanley has seen way too many videos of kids and even parents just stealing the entire candy supplies with a blatant and callous disregard for anyone or anything. So with that in mind he always does the arduous task of getting off his ass to greet the trick-or-treaters and hand out the candy himself. Little did Stanley know or even realize that this single act had far reaching implications that he himself wouldn’t recognize until much later.

See Stanley has lived in this neighborhood for a couple of years and his lifestyle choices have made an impression on his neighbors. Being a grouchy, unkempt, anti-social, hermit who only ever leaves his home every couple of weeks tend to generate rumors spread amongst the busybody neighbors who all have at least a passing relation with each other. Stanley was pretty sure if he was ethnic he would have had the cops called on him by a ‘concerned neighbor’ at least once.

He wished that was a tasteless joke but that’s just the world we live in these days.

Even still he’s pretty sure there was at least one nosey neighbor who thought he was doing something illegal but eh, the cops have never showed up to his door before so its whatever. Until Ezraphel showed up and started making friends Halloween was the only time Stanley had any form of prolonged contact with his neighbors and even then it’s mostly the kids and their chaperones.

Now while giving out candy during Halloween was something literally everyone on the block did Stanley did something that others didn’t. Since he can’t help but relieve those fond childhood and early teen memories from his own trick-or-treat adventures Stanley ended up breaking his own self imposed rules. See one of the worst memories he had on Halloween was being given subpar candy that devalued his overall haul at the end of the night. For some reason there would always be at least one asshole who would try their best to ruin his night with cheap and/or expired candy that was inedible and best thrown out.

Worse were the absolute lame ass dickheads promoting ‘healthy eating habits’ by giving out fruit (fucking fruit!) or that dentist who gave out dental floss…dental floss. Stanley remembered that being the first time he actually cursed in front of an adult.

“The fuck is this shit?” said a 12 year old Stanley.

Thankfully that night his uncle was chaperoning them and rather than chastise him just gave a full belly laugh. Afterwards he introduced Stanley to the other tradition of trick-or-treating as seen on Billy and Mandy.

“We didn’t get any treats so it’s time to trick.”

He didn’t care what anyone said that guy definitely deserved to have a bag of dog turd left on his porch and lit on fire.

It was due to experiences like this that as a kid Stanley vowed that when he got older he would not become one of those people and the same held through for now. So every Halloween Stanley swallowed his reservations (of which there was surprisingly little) to go the extra several miles and shill out the additional cash to buy the good shit in bulk. Only high quality name brand candies are being distributed from the Berkowitz household and he wasn’t skimping on the amount either.

Naturally the kids receiving the candy were all for it.

What started as a welcome novelty in the first year became an anticipated curiosity in the second year and by the third year it was a beloved expectation. Now Stanley didn’t think for one second that his once-a-year generosity raised his social status in the eyes of the neighborhood nor did he really care for being popular amongst children (especially in this day and age) but at least he can say for certain that he wouldn’t be the reason for kids having a shitty Halloween.

Nor would he be the victim of any tricks some of the little shits would cook up if he pissed them off. He would like not to have dog turd set on fire and left at his front door thank you very much.

And that’s the excuse/explanation he gave to Ezraphel when she asked him about Halloween at the start of October when the advertisements caught her attention. Naturally a holiday where people celebrate monsters (in a fashion) would grab her attention but she was really sold on the idea after she found out people dress up as said monsters with the kids going around the neighborhood asking for and receiving free candy. To that end Ezraphel has taken the time to study the holiday in detail. He could tell she liked it too since one morning he woke up to find the entire house adorned with conjured Halloween decorations.

Though he was initially annoyed Stanley didn’t exactly mind the festive decorations since she didn’t go overboard with them. That wasn’t the only thing festive either as tonight the two were currently having dinner which consisted of spaghetti and ‘eyeballs’ with a side of garlic bread ‘fingers’ which will be drunk with ‘Witches brew’ lemonade and for dessert she made ‘ghost’ cupcakes. It was times like this where Stanley understood why people take pictures of their food because this entire week Ezraphel has been serving out meals with her creativity cranking up to eleven.

“Stanley can we go trick-or-treating for Halloween?”

Stanley paused and with Ezraphel’s expectant look upon him he took a moment to ponder her question and weigh the pros and cons of-

“No” he answered flatly.

“But why not~?” she whined.

“Because the reason you’d want to go trick-or-treating is so that you can get Halloween themed candy for your stash” he clarified while taking a bite out of an eyeball.

This year like the ones before Stanley bought Halloween candy for trick-or-treat and naturally Ezraphel wanted some because she’s insatiable in more ways than one. Luckily he was a master at ignoring her attempts at emotional manipulation and stonewalled her attempts at stealing some by threatening her with severe punishment.

“T-that’s not true at all!” she stuttered a bit before catching the deadpan look he gave her as he chewed his food “okay maybe a little” she mumbled “but I also want to do it because it seems like fun.”

Stanley couldn’t help but sigh. One of the things he realized with his girlfriend was that Ezraphel was the type of person to do something if it seems fun and there was a worthwhile payoff for the effort.

“I’m sure it does but the thing is trick-or-treating is for kids.”

*Flash*

‘I should have seen this coming.’

“Ta da~” a now much younger and smaller Ezraphel exclaimed while striking a pose as she stood on the chair.

Stanley didn’t outwardly react to this immediately as he was struck with the realization that for the very first time in their relationship he was now taller than her without being on an elevated position. He had to take a moment to let this new sensation sink in then…

“The answer is still no.”

“Please” she whined giving him the puppy dog eyes.

*Stare*

Stanley matched her stare with a deadpan glare.

*Stare Harder*

Surprisingly he broke the glare even sooner than she expected which was odd but she would take this victory.

Reaching over the table Stanley began patting her on the head which for some reason brought out a rather weird reaction from the Lilim who leaned into his touch her tail subconsciously wagging behind her.

‘T-this isn’t so bad.’

“That’s adorable” he admitted and her expression lit up with a smile “fine if you want to go trick-or-treating I won’t stop you.”

“Yay!”

Retracting his hand he began going back into his steak “yeah you have fun with that. I supposed I’ll just stay here and hand the candy out by myself…again.”

Not that he minded doing that.

That had her freeze “eh?”

“What?”

“You’re not coming with me?”

“Why would you ever believe I would?”

“But you said you love trick-or-treating.”

“Yeah, when I was a kid.”

“So…”

“Ez, I’m not one of those old guys going through a mid life crisis and looking to relive my youth” he deadpanned “I liked Halloween back then because it gave me a break from dealing with all the bullshit in school and I liked trick-or-treating because I can get free candy without begging my mom or budgeting my allowance. Nowadays I can take as much breaks as I want and buy as much candy as I want.”

Ezraphel grumbled a bit before offering a compromise “then can you at least go with me.”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Let’s just forget the fact that people would wonder why I’m babysitting a kid for some reason out of the blue and focus on the fact that it would leave the house devoid of anyone to hand candy out to the kids when they inevitably visit the house. Not to brag or anything but the kids have designated my house as a hotspot for getting the best loot.”

Someone made a forum rating the best trick-or-treating houses and from what he saw his was amongst the highest rated.

“Also I know for a fact that a few of the chaperones are going to want to make small talk with you” he added.

Ezraphel has firmly established her presence in the neighborhood and it would be weird for her not to be there with him.

At his explanation Ezraphel pouted with a glare that had even less effect on him with her chibi body.

“Liar!” she exclaimed “you just want to do it.”

Stanley shrugged “alright you caught me, it’s just not worth the hassle and frankly I’m way too old for that shit.”

At his answer the loli Ezraphel was now pouting which made for an adorable sight and no doubt the average plebs would coo at her. Stanley however was not fazed by this because to him all kids were scheming little shits until proven otherwise and in today’s climate they’ve been never been able to prove otherwise.

“And I can’t convince you otherwise?”

“Why are you so adamant about this? I thought you’d want to be the one to greet the kids.”

Ezraphel frowned, it’s not as if she didn’t know this but…

“Wait a minute” Stanley’s eyes narrowed as it occurred to him “this wasn’t some scheme to turn me into a kid again is it?”

Ezraphel stiffened averting her gaze but saying nothing.

‘Shit’ she silently cursed ‘how did he know?’

“Your silence betrays you” he remarked dryly.

“O-okay maybe I was-”

“And we have confirmation” he looked up to the ceiling at this point he was exasperated and it was reflected in his voice “Ez…what the hell?”

In a flash she was back to her original age and appearance looking equal part bashful and remorseful “I’m sorry for deceiving you Stanley it’s just that…well…”

“What?”

“You hardly talk about your past and when you do it’s very negative but when you were explaining Halloween and your childhood ‘trick-or-treating’ it was the first time I’ve seen you genuinely happy to be talking about your past.”

“I’m a pessimistic guy by nature Ez, you know this.”

“I do but” she bit her lip “I feel that it is wrong to not have anything positive to say about your childhood.”

“So let me see if I understand this. You wanted me to go trick-or-treating so you could witness me living out one of the standout ‘happy moments’ of my youth?”

“Pretty much” she shrugged a bit while wincing “are you mad?”

Stanley couldn’t help but cringe, not at her words but the fact that he was apparently such a cynic that his girlfriend had to concoct a scheme like this in order to fish for positivity.

“I’m not mad” he began “maybe a little confused” Stanley pinched the bridge of his nose “at least you didn’t decide to turn me into a kid while I was sleeping or something stupid like that.”

“Oh no! I would never betray your trust like that” Ezraphel retorted quickly.

‘Too quickly’

In truth it wouldn’t surprise him if that particular plan was on the table but decided not to call her out on it. What matters was that she went with her better judgment and simply asked him permission instead of going through the drama that would cause.

“Thank God for that” he sighed “look I’m gonna be real here Ez, this plan of yours would never work. That part of my life is over and done with, I’ve moved on. The only thing I can do now is pay the happy memories forward by doing my part to make the actual trick-or-treaters have a good night, because they deserve it.”

Ezraphel looked disappointed yet oddly satisfied with the answer “okay.”

Then leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek which drew a raised eyebrow from him.

“I also wanted to see what you looked like when you were younger” she admitted.

“Figures” he scoffed before taking a sip of the somehow bubbly lemonade “you know I always hated that idea of ‘reliving the past’ it’s all such bullshit”

Real talk: from an objective collective standpoint Stanley’s problems with his past may not be as bad as he was making it out to be. But that’s not the point if his past made him take drastic actions that would shape his character for years to come then there is no way in hell he can look at them through an objective lens.

It is for this reason why Stanley didn’t dwell on his past once he moved on, not even the good times. He’s made every attempt in his power to completely divorce himself from his past and so Ezraphel’s actions while coming from a good place was doomed to fail from the start.

Stanley took a deep breath because what he’s about to say next is the epitome of cringe pulled straight out of an anime

“Instead of going through the trouble of re-enacting my ‘happy childhood years’ wouldn’t it better if you focused on making happy memories with me now?”

‘God I want to ram my head through a wall.’

So cringe and yet it had the desired effect on Ezraphel who looked as if his words had just blown her mind.

“You’re right” she whispered shaking her head before a huge smile appeared on her face “you are absolutely right Stanley! I should focus on making happy memories with you~”

“Gonna have to put a pin on that for tonight. I’ve got some work related business to take care of and it’s going to take all night.”

“Does it have to be tonight?”

“I always do this before Halloween so I can give out candy to trick-or-treaters uninterrupted.”

“Hmm, I suppose it can’t be helped then” she begrudgingly admitted “but since I didn’t get my treat I hope you’re prepared for a trick.”

Stanley blinked upon hearing those words then looking at the expression on the Lilim’s face felt a twinge of dread.

Why?

A moment later and he shook off the anxiety while getting back into his pasta

“Ominous” he blandly replied “what do you have in mind?”

He figured she would do some Halloween themed kink play which he was cool with.

‘As long as it’s not some Hellraiser-type BDSM bullshit it should be fine.’

…he was not prepared for what Ezraphel had in mind for her ‘trick.’

~Ezraphel’s Trick~

Stanley ended up working well past midnight into the early morning and by the time he finally went to sleep it was about an hour or two until to sunrise. This of course led to him sleeping literally half the day away which he realized was a mistake upon waking up and taking a gander at his room.

“I should have seen this coming.”

He really should have.

Ezraphel made no attempt to do her ‘trick’ after making that rather ominous declaration of intent and he like an idiot managed to forget all about it…until just now.

‘What fresh hell did she prepare for me this time?’

It has been a while since she did one of her holiday games.

Those were the first words out of his mouth after he woke up to find that his girlfriend had once again done some redecorating while he was asleep. Fortunately said redecorations weren’t anything too outlandish like say…a magical forest.

‘At least this time he was in a room.’

Just not the one he slept in.

If he were to make a comparison the room looked like the set of a period drama or rather in the context of this particular day it looked to be the set of a horror movie that happened to be taking place in the 19^th century European or whenever the Victorian era was. Stanley didn’t even bother paying any more attention to the architecture he already had no interest in it to begin with. He skipped exploration and out of curiosity went to the window to peak outside. The window couldn’t be opened unfortunately but he could see just a bit through the frosted over glass.

After a few moments Stanley backed away with a blank expression ‘yep, she went and made a fucking castle.’

Pinching the bridge of his nose Stanley spoke what has quickly become his catchphrase when dealing with his girlfriend’s antics

“God dammit Ez”

*RING*

Stanley flinched at the sound of the loud generic ringing coming from the black telephone on the nightstand he had overlooked.

Crossing the short distance he picked it up “hello?”

“Good morning Stanley~” came Ezraphel’s far too chipper voice.

“You have thirty seconds to explain yourself” he cut in immediately.

“I told you Stanley if I didn’t get a treat you would get a trick.”

“And to think I almost felt bad enough to give you my attention for the rest of the week.”

“Wait what? That was an option!?”

“Not anymore.”

“Dammit!” he raised an eyebrow at that having not heard her curse before even if that was the most PG of them all “oh well, I’m sure after this you’ll be wanting a stress reliever.”

“And what the hell is ‘this’ supposed to be?”

“Oh just a little something I’ve put together while you were working last night. I based it off one of your videogames”

Stanley looked about the room feeling a sense of déjà vu but unable to really place it he asked “which one?”

“Resident Evil.”

“Oh…”

He looked about the room then remembered outside and the fact that he was in a castle. Then he juxtaposed those sights with the memory of his time playing the games and thanks to his superior Incubus memory retention he had a fairly accurate image in his mind’s eye.

‘Yeah that tracks.’

“I’m sure you are very familiar with this game Stanley.”

“I am” he answered still mulling over the situation.

To say that Resident Evil wouldn’t have been his first choice for a game he would realistically want to be ‘Isekai’d’ in would be an understatement.

“What am I doing here Ez?”

“To play the game of course however in this case the name of the game is escaping the castle.”

As someone who played all the Resident Evil Games (including the shitty spin off’s) he knew that such a goal was far from simple in execution.

“Of course you will be met with obstacles in the form of enemies to battle or escape, traps to evade or disarm and puzzles to solve.”

‘So typical RE shit’ he thought with a frown.

“Fine.”

The question now is how much liberty did she take from the source material? How creatively did she implement them? And

“Huh?”

“I’ll play your game.”

“Really?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I thought there would be some resistance.”

Stanley rolled his eyes “how many chances will I ever get to cut loose like this without drawing unwanted attention?”

“I concede your point Stanley.”

“So do I get a weapon or what?”

“Weapons, ammunitions, items and currency will be scattered throughout the castle as well as safe rooms.”

“How will I know a room is ‘safe’?”

“My visage will be represented on the front of the door.”

“Cool” he rolled his eyes “so what constitutes as a ‘loss’ here?”

“Getting captured and brought back to me~” she answered sensually.

“Say less.”

“Aw, but I wanted to say more”

Looking at a close analog clock and noticing the time “is the clock in here representative of the time out there?”

“More or less.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Oh Stanley~ over the phone?”

‘This woman…’

“This isn’t an intro to phone sex Ez” he scowled “if this is happening in real time I won’t be there for the trick-or-treaters.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that Stanley, I will take over in your stead.”

“…”

“Stanley?”

He closed his eyes “please tell me you’re not going to use Halloween as an excuse to stay in your true form and try to pass it off as an elaborate costume.”

“I’m not an idiot Stanley”

He sighed “you never can be too careful with shit like that Ez.”

“As opposed to that time you allowed that pizza delivery man to see my true form and excused my appearance as a costumed prostitute?”

Stanley cringed, he remembered that and he also remembered that the guy started asking questions because apparently even depowered as she was Ezraphel is still a Lilim and most men aren’t like Stanley who is too stubborn to be taken by a weak ass passive charm effect.

“I’m sorry”

“Hmph, you are lucky we happened to encounter him after my powers were restored.”

It was a complete coincidence that they met that guy who turned out to be a fucking asshole. Unfortunately Stanley recognized his partial fault since he put it in the guy’s head that Ez was an escort. Still he should have recognized that she was in a relationship and wasn’t interested. Frankly Stanley was about two seconds away from stomping a mud hole in his ass and walking it back home when Ezraphel used her magic on him.

A good thing she did because they eventually found out that the fucker posted that first encounter on Reddit. Thankfully nothing came from it and after a few magically induced suggestions nothing ever will come from both encounters. That little mishap on his part could have snowballed into something terrible and it only reinforced his emphasis on secrecy.

Remembering his fuck up had him pinching the bridge of his nose “right, just don’t give them any reason to think you’re anything more than just an eccentric woman.”

Ezraphel scoffed over the line “oh please Stanley this isn’t my first ‘rodeo’ as it were. I will be fine.”

“Alright I’ll trust you. Don’t fuck it up.”

“I wo~n’t buh-bye now.”

There was a click followed by silence which had him staring at the phone, no dial tone? Then again the thing wasn’t even hooked up to a landline so…

“Whatever” putting the phone back he looked around the room “Resident Evil huh?”

Looking at it the place does bear a resemblance to Lady Ds castle…or maybe it was just generic enough to be mistaken for it because frankly all that period piece architecture shit looked the same to him. Either way if Ezraphel was faithful to the games (even if it was just the most recent one) then the next logical step to take here would be to loot the place for every scrap of valuables.

Seeing that it was late evening Stanley sighed. He very much doubted Ezraphel incorporated speed run tech in this simulation and without time dilation shenanigans at play it meant…

“Looks like I’m missing Halloween.”

Stanley was surprisingly ambivalent to the situation. Yes he felt annoyed at being thrust into this situation again and would be missing his favorite holiday but he actually liked these little jaunts of adventure she forced upon him. There’s a reason why virtual reality is considered by most to be the pinnacle of future gaming. There is a certain kind of excitement to be had with living out your favorite games in a safe and controlled environment.

Stanley wouldn’t have picked Resident Evil as his first choice because for as entertaining as the games are the premise was scary as fuck. He didn’t care who you are no amount of B-movie camp can hide the horror of that shit in real life. Of course he didn’t think Ezraphel would utilize the monsters and body horror aspect from that series as they were so he would most likely be looking at lewd renditions of them. But still even the lewd renditions of Resident Evil monsters are kinda…

“I need a weapon” as he said this he checked one of the drawers in the room and found a switchblade knife to which he scowled “I meant a fucking gun, gah!”

No such luck with that unfortunately.

A few minutes later and apart from the knife he also found, half a pistol clip of BB pellets, several copper coins and a larger than average gold coin with a helm on it. Finally he checked the closet to find a single wardrobe and two minutes later and he was wearing a yellow cotton jacket over a grey hoodie, blue jeans and brown shoes.

He was dressed as Ethan Winters as he was in Resident Evil: Village…joy.

Stanley noticed that he seemed to gain knowledge on every item of note he picked up which was mildly worrying. Yet he purposefully overlooked the negative implications his pessimistic mind could conjure to focus on how it would relate to this challenge. On the one hand it would come in handy for discerning what he should or shouldn’t keep since he didn’t exactly have a hammer space inventory.

On the other hand it will make completing this ‘game’ all the more tedious.

Resident Evil can be very unforgiving and considering what’s at stake Stanley was going to be playing it safe by going at this as if it were on the hardest difficulty. There was no speed running things here but he supposed it will depend on how things go in the next hour.

‘I can’t believe she went with Resident Evil’ he once again shook his head.

Even if she gave him a heads up about pulling this stunt he would never figure her to use this franchise out of them all. With how little interest she had in videogames which, not gonna lie, made him sad but even if she was interested past experience told him she would not like the Resident Evil games. To make an adventure based on a franchise that is traditionally zombie shooters well to that he had to say…

“Well played Ez.”

Meanwhile…

“Well played Ez.”

Ezraphel couldn’t help but smirk at Stanley’s words as she watched him through a monitor. With how the aftermath of his last adventure went Ezraphel felt herself squirming in anticipation just thinking about what he would do to her once he completed the game.

‘He said he was thinking of setting aside a week for me’ she mused before he smirk widened ‘let’s see if I can’t make it two.’

It was something she felt she deserved considering the ‘game’ wasn’t easy to set up even with her abilities. She had this idea only a scant few days after finding out about Halloween at the end of the previous month.

Why Resident Evil?

Funny thing about that she came upon the series whilst searching for popular female characters to dress as for Halloween. She could have taken the lazy route and simply assume her true form under a glamour but she could always do that at any point anyway. The true motive was looking for a character which she could assume the appearance of since she has it on good authority that men of her Stanley would be quite fond of her dressing up as the characters from his beloved videogames.

Other women seem to have figured this out and have built followers of thousands just based on this act of dressing up which they refer to as ‘cosplay.’

In any case the real burden came with getting through the ‘Resident Evil’ series of games which reinforced the gripes she had with earth was how they portrayed monsters in their media.

One of the largest gripes Of course she understood that much like in the era before her mother’s reign they were just going with what they are like but it’s hard for her not to take umbrage. It is especially grating to see the correct representation for mamono be cast aside and seen as incorrect, weird or even disturbing.

Why they would find the savage and grotesque forms of monsters to be fine yet the lovely forms of monster girls to be disturbing truly blows her mind. Ezraphel was certain that those people would be singing a different tune for their presence if they were suddenly faced with them in real life. As for the enlightened individuals who prefer monster girls she would very much like to introduce them to actual mamono.

But back to her situation, once Ezraphel got over the misrepresentation issue she found the games to be…fine. She watched playthroughs for multiple games which was a completely different experience from watching a movie of TV show. She did not enjoy the experience nearly as much as others considering the games are rooted in ‘cheesy B-Movie action horror schlock’ as one person so charitably described.

It wasn’t until the seventh and eight installment where she came around to actually finding enjoyment in the story. She would even go so far as to say that the story was actually compelling. After all what could be more compelling than a man going on a harrowing journey braving dangers and horrors to rescue his wife and the child? Ezraphel was very much a fan of stories like this and the setting, particularly in the eight installment provided some interesting ideas for her to work with.

When all is said and done Ezraphel had a blast preparing this game for her Stanley using the ‘mechanics’ of the game while mixing the setting with her home in Eos. Hopefully she nailed it well enough that her Stanley would appreciate her efforts. She also hoped that it would keep him sufficiently distracted long enough for her to complete her other endeavor.

Just then she was interrupted by a familiar yet unfamiliar sight of a fair skinned woman with short blue-purple hair and grey eyes wearing a grey high cut strapless latex bodysuit under a short dark open leather jacket, fingerless gloves, dark low cut tight pants and boots. The outfit was form fitting outlining her curvy and voluptuous figure, the low cut pants combined with the high cut body suit and short jacket exposed the side of her thighs giving her a provocative appearance.

“What is it?”

Without saying a word the held up a hand and tapped her wrist and at the gesture Ezraphel glanced at a nearby clock to see that it was now six o’ clock. At seeing the time Ezraphel smiled, it was time to begin. Chuckling to herself Ezraphel stepped through the portal into the living room where four individuals were seated watching TV. Three of them seemed to be children dressed in costumes that hid their faces.

In truth both the ‘children’ and the woman were Golems. In fact she was the very first Golem Ezraphel created months ago for the Easter Egg Hunt. Ezraphel ended up putting more effort into than was necessary for the task she would perform. This ended up giving the Golem sentience and Ezraphel could not bring herself to destroy her first creation since terminating her at that point would be akin to murder. Instead she put her in stasis while she figured out what to do with her or rather figure out how to explain her existence to Stanley without him ‘freaking out.’

…she hasn’t drummed up the courage to tell him and she felt bad enough putting the as of yet named Golem in stasis all this time so for tonight she would assign her first creation an important task that would see her venturing outside to experience the world…or rather the neighborhood.

“It is time” she spoke and the ‘children’ got up from the sofa. Unlike their adult counterpart Ezraphel gave these Golems rather rudimentary intelligence. They were created for a single purpose with no path to evolve beyond it or the ability to gain sentience. They were mere automatons in the truest sense.

“Is everyone ready?” in response the children held up decorated bags to which Ezraphel gave a little clap “excellent~”

Stanley said that if she wanted she could go trick-or-treating but he never said that she couldn’t send out proxies~

“Fufufufu”

She began chuckling to herself like an evil genius however paused once she saw the adult Golem giving her a look that despite being neutral was laden with subliminal judgment

“Ahem” coughing into her fist while straightening her posture Ezraphel adopted a regal disposition “now to go over the fine points of the plan, visit every house, receive your bounty, only deviate if it gets you more and be back with it by ten o’clock, midnight at the latest. My Stanley should be finished by then.”

*Nod*

“Also” her expression turned dark “there is a potential for you encountering ne’er-do-wells who like to cause mischief. Should you come across any and they threaten you, the others or your bounty you have my permission to teach them a lesson.”

*Sharp Nod*

Ezraphel frowned “you can speak you know, I gave you a voice for a reason” The Golem simply blinked causing the Lilim to sigh “you prefer playing the mute? Fine…actually it would be better if you did since people are less likely to have a conversation with you.”

She cupped her chin for a bit before snapping her fingers and a shimmer appeared over the Golem’s face who blinked away the spots.

“There, now you will be able to convey your intent without words” in response the Golem gave a low bow to which Ezraphel raised her head high “you are welcome now go and happy trick-or-treating~”

~The Mistress Of The Castle~

As he travelled through the interconnected halls of the castle Stanley found several doors that were unfortunately locked from the other side. On the plus side he came across drawers, display cabinets and vases that held useful items such as copper coins, small bottles of BB pellets and ingredients to make potion. It was during this exploration that he figured out he actually did have a hammer space inventory. It was lined in the pocket of the clearly enchanted clothes he picked up in the closet. With the inventory he could freely manipulate the objects within including allocating the bb pellets into different bottles.

Eventually he came upon a set of ornate double doors and entered that things started to pick up. Behind the door was a rather large room that acted like an art gala/museum and that practically existed to be looted, otherwise why would there be display cases behind which held particularly interesting items of note such as coin, ammo and even jewelry.

The one that immediately grabbed his attention was the display containing a pistol specifically one he recognized as his Tokyo Marui Hi-Cappa 5.1. Functionally speaking it was one of the best airsoft pistols in his arsenal that was a personal favorite and at a time when he felt so exposed that he’d take a shitty Colt MKIV it was practically a godsend.

“Thank you Ez” then he saw that the coin slot didn’t accept the copper coins or the one golden coin “you bitch!”

He grabbed the helm from a set of feminine armor in the back and threw it at the glass display only to duck when the metal helm bounced off in a random direction.

“I don’t know why I thought that would work” shaking his head at that he turned a full 360 eyeing the various art pieces “what the hell am I even looking for?”

He thought this room would serve a purpose other than to dangle bait in front of him. Yeah she was being faithful to the game but come on. As he turned away his eyes caught something near the back of the room. Upon closer inspection he found it to be a marble stone bust of a well endowed woman. The bust was intricately detailed with a smiling woman wearing an expensive tiara and necklace just above her cleavage which was about where the bust ended. The fact that this thing was behind a display case with a coin slot was peculiar enough but unlike the others the slot was a bit larger.

“Hm…” with a hum he fished out the golden coin from his inventory and hesitated for a bit before pushing the coin into the slot.

As he did this the sounds of shifting internal mechanical parts reached his ear before the display case popped open. Picking up the bust he was hit with the item description which read:

~An intricately crafted and well detailed sculpture of a mysterious woman of nobility. Who could she be?~

‘Well if that isn’t a ringing endorsement for item of interest I don’t know what is’ and so he stored it in his inventory and made his way to the door located just a few feet away. Stanley just about got his hand on the doorknob when-

*CRASH*

“Agh!”

The door exploded in a shower of splinters sending him flying onto his back. Despite the disorientation caused by the explosion and rough landing Stanley was already scrambling back from the thing that crashed through the door a la kool-aid man.

The thing was definitely a she despite clearing seven feet and putting Ezraphel’s prodigious height to shame. That wasn’t the only thing it had in competition with the Lilim because this mystery woman was also dummy thicc with tits bigger than his head and thighs that looked like they could crush water melons with ease yet plump and soft enough that lap pillows would be heavenly. Her most prominent feature however (if you could believe it) were the big meaty paws for hands that looked like they could actually envelope his head.

Stanley recognized the mamono immediately as a Bogey which he figured she was supposed to be the MGE interpretation of the Boogie Man that haunts the nightmares of kids. How did he figure? Because not only did the Bogey look like the kinky union between Frankenstein’s monster, a teddy bear and a hentai milf but a according to the wiki entry they also have a particular kink where they treat all their victims like children that need to be consoled and cared for.

She was basically a Dommy Mommy.

With this in mind when the Bogey looked at him and cocked her head in interest he reasonably began to panic. Then she started trotting towards him with her arms spread wide invitingly.

“Nope!”

Scrambling to his feet Stanley made a b-line to where he came from. The entire time the Bogey did not hasten its pace continuing a casual trot towards him. Stanley practically flung the door open and made a run down the halls. Going back the way he came he arrived at the room the room he started from and held the doorknob before pausing.

‘Would this even work?’

Looking at the door he unfortunately realized that it did not hold the visage that signified it as a safe room meaning that the Bogey could gain access.

“Fuck!”

His gaze went back to where he fled from and distantly he could hear the sound of steady trotting on wooden floor inching closer.

‘She’s not getting any faster’ like the stalking enemies from the RE games ‘I just need to find a safe room.’

He went off in the opposite end from he started and eventually ending up at a set of ornate wooden double doors that once opened revealed a large open space. Directly across from him was a closed door on his left was a stairway that led upwards and on his right was a massive steel door decorated with stylized runes.

He headed for the rune doors feeling an inexplicable draw towards it however the moment he got within a few feet of it a gate slammed down from the top, two gates to slam shut from the sides, a bar slid on top of that, chains came at the four corners to tie into a padlock and a red magic circle flashed into existence. It all happened in quick succession one after the other and made for an utterly ludicrous sequence of events but it at least got the message across.

‘I found the exit.’

Rumbling from behind had him turn to see five of the out-of-place black tiles on the otherwise white tiled floor open up to allow five podiums to rise from the ground. He couldn’t help but note that all the podiums had golden plaques where words were written in fancy cursive. Walking to the closest podium he read the words written:

Brave Knight Beatrice, her loyalty is as revered as her martial and tactical brilliance on the battlefield. Even in death she continues to protect her mistress holding a sword in one hand and her severed head in the other. Enemies of the mistress beware the Demonic Headless Knight.

Priestess of light Moira, once a dutiful servant of the Goddess she was charmed and led astray by malicious forces losing her divine protection. Tormented by her past her wails can be heard upon her approach as warning for death awaits those who encounter the Lamenting Death Priestess.

Lady Griselda of House Constantine, a charmingly beautiful and proud young noblewoman whose life was cut short due to the machinations of the other jealous highborn ladies of the court. Years later the corpses of several highborn ladies were found completely drained of blood along with rumors of a pale woman with scarlet eyes covered in blood at the scene of the deaths. Thus was born the legend of the Vengeful Noble Nosferatu.

Sorceress Eileen dedicated her life to the practice and study of the magical arts earning herself great reverence and acclaim from her peers. This was not enough however and it wasn’t long before she began dabbling in the darker side of magic developing an obsession with death to the point of commit unspeakable atrocities until her macabre activities were discovered. She would escape from persecution however her final act as a human was to inflict death upon herself and resurrect as the Undead Corpse Sorceress.

Stanley had to back up a bit as he looked at the podiums ‘I see what’s going on here’ he thought to himself

Obviously these things were describing the history of these Mamono who might just be the simulation bosses. He would give props to Ezraphel for developing their backgrounds. Usually things like this would be corny as hell to read in a game but right now it was doing a surprisingly good job of building up intrigue.

As for the Mamono themselves he pointed at the first one “Dullahan, Banshee, Vampire, Lich and…” his finger hung in the air as it pointed to the final podium.

Unfortunately the plaque for this one was scratched out and the podium itself looked to have been vandalized. Still recognizing the theme and through process of elimination he made his informed guess.

“I’m going with Wight since that makes the most sense.”

And on that thought he fished out the bust from his inventory and placed it on the podium because it was just that obvious. The moment he did this there was a series of clicks and the magic circle on the door reappeared before shattering like glass.

“Theory confirmed.”

*Thud* *Thud* *Thud* *Thud*

The familiar sound of trotting reached his ears and he knew it was time to get the fuck out but before he could run to the stairs in the other room…

*Click*

Stanley jumped as the closed door next to the podiums opened and that feeling of being drawn came over him again. For a brief moment indecision came over him before the double doors opened and the Bogey ducked her head through to stand in the same open area. The moment her eyes met his she began her advance again with open arms and jiggle with each step.

“Fuck it” he went for the open door and noted how the Bogey’s pace sped up a bit but it wasn’t enough to catch him before he made it through.

He could have sworn he heard a disappointed “aw” as he slammed the door behind him and braced. Not that he needed to since he heard the trotting footsteps retreat further away from the door.

“Holy fucking shit that was intense.”

“There is no need for such course language young man” spoke a rich, cultured voice making him realize that he wasn’t alone in the room

“Shit”

“Language” the voice tutted in a manner not dissimilar to Ezraphel.

Stanley’s gaze went to the source of the voice and wow. If he hadn’t been exposed to Ezraphel for the better of a half a year then…he didn’t want to have to think about that.

‘You did too good a job Ez’ he mused to himself with a grunt.

With the now amused woman the first thing he noted was how much her appearance mirrored what he remembered from the official MGE artwork of the Wight. From the purple dress to the pale blonde hair the woman was dressed exactly like the Wight in the bio. Overall she wasn’t bad looking for a dead woman and that had him taking in the fact that this person was literally a waking corpse.

Her skin was beyond pale yet so perfectly smooth that he was reminded of white marble. Then there were her red eyes that were a sight paler than Ezraphel’s yet held a haunting quality that was unlike what he felt with the Lilim.

“Now don’t be shy, come closer. It is hardly polite to have me raising my voice.”

“The sound quality sounds pretty good from where I’m standing.”

“Ah but it is rather impolite wouldn’t you say?”

“Lady, do I look like someone who gives a shit about being polite?”

Is what he wanted to say but thought better of it and while he didn’t comply with her subtle demand he did ask the all important question.

“Who are you?”

“I am Lady Rowena Blackburn, the Duchess of these lands” she introduced “who might you be young man?”

“Stan” he introduced plainly.

She raised a delicate brow at this and posed the question “what brings a valiant knight such as yourself to these lands Sir Stanley?”

He opened his mouth to dispute her words as well as correct her on his name only to remember that this woman was essentially an NPC.

So rather he answered “would you believe me if I said I didn’t come here of my own volition?”

“Well seeing as how you are bereft of any weapons, armor…or common knowledge I am inclined to believe you.”

“Common knowledge?”

“You don’t know who I am, you don’t where you are and I suspect you don’t know what you are in for trying to escape this place. You are attempting to escape are you not?”

“Of course I am” he frowned “what did you think I was here for?”

Rowena shrugged “it could be that you are here to slay the ‘Dread Ladies’” she air quoted “or perhaps are you here to court them.”

“No.”

“I see then does your being here happen to be due to your bounty”

“My bounty?”

“A few days ago a foreign emissary came and distributed this.” she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to him.

Said piece of paper turned out to be a wanted poster of him with a bounty that made him deadpan. He had no idea what the name of the currency is but he didn’t have to since some things are universal.

‘That is a lot of zeroes.’

“I have a bounty?” Stanley muttered.

One could say it was overestimating his value but since this was Ezraphel the reward mirrored how she values him. Never underestimate the obsession of a mamono genuinely in love.

“Well now, it sees I was wrong. I took you for a Knight when in fact you are an outlaw”

“…sure.”

Let’s go with that.

“Well in any case perhaps we can help each other.”

“Go on.”

“You want to leave this place and I can aid you in this.”

“How’s that?”

“Confined as I may be I am not ignorant to the happenings of the outside nor am I powerless” and to demonstrate this she snapped her fingers.

Behind the plush sofa where she sat the red curtains separated to reveal familiar weapons and gear as well as unfamiliar items all hung up on the wall behind her.

“Now then” she cleared her throat pinning him with faintly glowing eyes

“What are you buying?”

~Exposition & Negotiations~

“That’s my stuff” he growled finally stalking closer.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean. I collected these peculiar items over the course of several years young man. If you want to have them you can…for a price~”

Stanley had to stop himself from retorting ‘relax man, this is supposed to be a game.’

Also the closer he looked at them the more he saw that they weren’t his stuff but replicas.

He sighed before pinning her with a dry look “I expected this from a Danuki.”

The Wight scoffed “as if those raccoons have a monopoly on the merchant business. How do you think I acquired all of my fortunes, inheritance?”

“Either that or nepotism” he shrugged to which she scoffed.

“Don’t insult me. I actually worked for my wealth. Actual work to go along with social politicking unlike some upstart trollop who thinks she’s entitled to my riches because she happened to be a blue blooded little-”

‘Wow’ she kept going with her colorful yet somehow dignified rant.

Eventually she composed herself “but that is enough about me” the shock must have showed on his face because she gave him a telling look “I’m sure you have much better things to do than to listen to this old corpse prattle on about her woes.”

“I do actually.”

“O~hohoho my~” she giggled a genuine ‘Ojou-sama’ laugh “well aren’t you a cheeky one. I can’t remember the last time someone of a lower station shoed such insolence.”

“How the mighty have fallen” he drawled.

“Indeed” she nodded with a smile sharp enough to cut “though I do believe I may have found the instrument of my ascension.”

Stanley scoffed “whatever but if we’re helping each other I want discounts.”

The Wight fished a fan out of somewhere and hid her chuckles behind it “aren’t you a cheeky one. We will have to see about that Sir Stanley.”

‘God dammit Ez’

“So about this bounty” he continued moving on “I’m guessing a lot of people are looking to cash in?”

“It isn’t so much the monetary reward than it is the favor of the lady issuing it that everyone covets” Rowena spoke “in either case yes I imagine you will have everyone looking to capture you.”

“What about you?”

“I am not exactly in a position to turn you in as I am.”

At that he found himself looking around the room and felt reasonably underwhelmed by what he saw.

“Can’t help but notice how this room is kinda basic for a supposed Duchess.”

Especially considering that everything he’s seen so far from the rest of the building like the carpet on the floors, the chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, the glass cabinets full of knick-knacks, the varnished wood, art pieces, sculptures and everything else in between this room rather small and while it did have a similar décor he couldn’t help but feel like it was somehow lesser in comparison.

The Wight seemed to agree and grimaced at his observation then scowled “do not remind me. Much like yourself it is not by my own volition that I am confined to this drab place.”

‘And the plot thickens…’ he noted dryly ‘I think I know where this is going.’

“It was the Vampire wasn’t it?”

That brought the Wight up short “pardon?”

“The Vampire Griselda, you took her in, made her part of your inner circle and she betrayed you, turned the others against you and ousted you as ‘mistress of the castle’ right?”

The wide eyed look of surprise she gave him was actually amusing.

“How did you know?” she questioned/demanded

“Seems pretty obvious to me” he shrugged.

To Stanley there always seemed like there would be contention between a Wight and a Vampire in the MGE when it comes to nobility. As he understood it Wights are undead nobility by birthright while his headcanon has it that Vampires were once human nobles with massive egos who more or less forced themselves into the undead hierarchy. Kind of like a merchant would accumulate wealth through trade and buy into nobility.

To him having a Vampire usurp a Wight’s place made sense for a plot. When put into that context vandalizing the Wight’s podium and hiding her bust in the back of an art gallery guarded by a Bogey and confining her to a ‘drab’ room made sense if the Vampire wanted to secure her position and faze the Wight out of existence while humiliating her.

“My” said Wight spoke “an intelligent mind to go with that cute face~”

“I’m not cute” he growled.

‘I’m handsome.’

“Of course, of course” she humored him.

Stanley growled but eventually let it go “so I couldn’t help but notice the five podiums outside but you already know this.”

“Yeah.”

“You seem t already be familiar with such contraptions.”

“Let’s just say I have a lot of experience. Is the door going to lead out of here?”

“It is a door to a portal that will transport whoever crosses it outside these lands” Rowena began “I intended to use them as an escape in the worst case scenario. Unfortunately the rest of the sculptures are in the possession of my former cohorts.”

“Speaking of, I know the gist of how you ended up here but what exactly happened after you got betrayed?”

As the story goes following Griselda’s betrayal and Rowena’s banishment the others split what remained of the estate and turned it into their own personal fiefdoms. The diverse staff of servants and guards were also taken away and split according to how well they work with them.

The aim of the game was to retrieve all the busts of Rowena’s former subordinates to open the gate. Unfortunately as the busts themselves are valuable they are being kept deep within each of their territory and his presence will not be welcomed. Or that’s the way it should have been however…

“Do the servants you mentioned include that Bogey prowling about outside?”

Rowena chuckled “I see you’ve encountered Miss X.”

He almost rolled his eyes at the name but answered all the same “yeah, we’ve met.”

“She was placed here as my jailor.”

“She doesn’t seem that difficult to get around. Have you tried walking briskly?”

Rowena rolled her eyes at his joke “not that I could go anywhere, this mansion is completely sealed with enchanted locks and the key is hidden somewhere in it. I’ve tried searching for it however I don’t tend to go very far before Miss X happens upon me. She has a tendency to pop up at the most inconvenient of times.”

“Makes sense” and he’d already thought of what he needed “I need a map, some lock picks and definitely a weapon.”

“Of course but do you have the requisite coin for these items?”

“What do you need the money for?” he complained “clearly you’re not going to spend it being trapped in here.”

“On the contrary I still have agents loyal to me spread about and from what I’ve heard my former subordinates are not treating the other servants all too well. A good bit of coin can go a long way to buying the loyalties of those disgruntled servants thus expanding the scope of my reach” her eyes glinted “perhaps next we meet I will be able to have them procure more tools to your benefit.”

“What’s stopping me from bribing them myself?”

“I wish you luck with that though you may find such an endeavor to be quite difficult with your bounty floating about the place. Unless you have something of equal value I doubt any of the servants would even give a foreigner let alone a human one the time of day.”

Rather than dwell on her words he reached into his inventory and procured a bundle of coin as proof that while he did not have nearly enough funds to make bribery an option he could still buy some things off her.

In response her hand glowed a ghostly white before trailing into the display like smoke and retrieving the offered items. There was a rolled up piece of parchment, a lock pick as he remembered in the game, health potions, ammunition in the form of BB pellets and a 6mm proshop 1911 spring loaded airsoft pistol.

“Don’t you have a better gun?”

“Unfortunately no” Rowena frowned “but take heart in knowing that with the coin I receive for this weapon I can procure others. Lilith knows no one else has any use for them.”

“What are the prices for these?”

She gave him a number that had him immediately outraged but before he could voice it “keep in mind that these are with the discount and all prices are final.”

‘Discount my ass’

“I will even throw in this” and she retrieved an extra handgun magazine.

“Thanks” he said begrudgingly.

“The map is enchanted to update with wherever you explore on grounds. If you find more pieces however you can have a clear view of places you haven’t explored.”

He figured that was the case but it was nice to have it confirmed. In the end he accepted the deal but only because he didn’t really have a choice with the Bogey running around. Speaking of which…

“Any advice on how to deal with, ugh, Miss X?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have a weapon powerful enough to incapacitate her.”

‘Figures’

“Do I even need to deal with her now though?”

“That is an option” she mused “though now that she has laid her eyes on you I doubt she will let you go.”

“Because of the bounty?”

Rowena shook her head “a man would have had her attention however a man with the visage of a young boy I’m afraid she will be very invested in capturing you if only to ‘pamper’ you.”

‘That tracks.’

If it’s a choice between having to deal with her throughout his entire play or nipping her pursuit in the bud Stanley knew which one he would choose. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option until he got a semi automatic rifle…or a couple of grenades.

“On the bright side with her preoccupied with pursuing you I will finally be able to move about unimpeded” said Rowena interrupting his thoughts.

“Good for you” he paused before remembering that not all weapons can be bought “you know where I can find a weapon to put her down?”

Rowena frowned at the wording “if you wish for a better caliber of weapons then I am sure you will be able to find some lying around the place somewhere.”

“Seriously?”

Rowena shrugged “I used to put them up in displays around the place though I can’t imagine all of them are where I left them after all this time.”

“I saw that” he scowled “who the hell puts something on display with a freaking coin slot to buy it?”

Rowena shrugged “someone who would challenge any would-be thief who succeeded in breeching these halls to a game of chance. If they want the true riches they will have to pay the price, nothing is free.”

…there is so much wrong with that answer but he couldn’t say it was something he expected from a Golem NPC. The fact that she had an excuse that was actually sort of plausible to him given her eccentric/greedy attitude is actually brilliant from a design standpoint. Granted that this woman is actually not sentient of course not that he would think Ezraphel would be dumb or crazy enough to give any of these things true sentience.

‘…why does it feel like someone’s laughing at me?’

“You will have to thoroughly explore the mansion to find any lying about though I doubt you will find such a weapon here.”

“Speaking of exploration, where do I go to find the key to this door?”

“I do not know where you can find the key, however the key itself is not a traditional one. When you see the door just beyond the common room you will understand.”

“And I have to dodge the Bogey while doing that, fucking great” he remarked unhappily.

Rowena hummed “about that, I may have a solution for you.”

“Which is?”

Rowena gave a perverse smile and Stanley was regretting obliging her before the words even left her mouth.

“I have it on good authority that Miss X falters in the face of sexual stimulation. Should you provide enough stimulation for her she may become incapacitated long enough for you to escape her notice for a time.”

‘And there’s the bullshit MGE twist.’

“Uh-huh.”

“And if you manage to give her an orgasm all the better. She tends to fall unconscious after a sufficiently powerful orgasm~” Rowena continued “though beware that in her worked up state she will put more effort into capturing you to relieve herself.’

Stanley closed his eyes counting to five before opening them again and by God and all that is holy he asked a single question.

“Is she going to be out for long?”

“I’d say an hour or so” Rowena answered “once knocked out she won’t be woken up by anything” her expression turned wistful “believe me I’ve tried.”

He wanted to ask but thought better of it.

Instead he posed another question “what can you tell me about the others?”

This time Rowena tutted wagging her fingers “now-now I’m afraid to gain access to that information you will have to prove yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“I need to know whether or not you are worth investment Sir Stanley. You will have to prove yourself by opening the enchanted door. Do that and I will provide you with the pertinent information and aid. If you manage to incapacitate Miss X along the way then I will even throw in a bonus reward.”

And just like that he received his first quest.

With nothing more left for him he turned to walk away with a question popping up in his thoughts.

‘How the fuck am I supposed to give that bitch an orgasm?’

As if reading his mind Rowena called out before his hand reached the doorknob “oh and Sir Stanley?”

He turned to her “yeah?”

Once again that perverse yet beatific smile came up “her weakness is the clitoris~”

Stanley wisely chose to leave the room without another word.

~To Be Continued In Part 2~

Author’s Notes: I’m thinking this project is going to take all month and of course I’m going to do a Christmas/New Year special…that will probably be released in January leaving the continuation of the mainline to begin either in late January or early February 2024. At least that’s the plan but uh take it with a spoon of salt if you will since I’m working on other MGE stuff.

In any case I have more parts available on my Patreon at www.Patreon.com/Streggaeworks

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