Cheshire Roommate

>Fucking cheshire cats.
>This has been the second time your faggotcat roommate “forgot” to clean out the shower drain.
>So. Much. Purple. And. Black.
>It’s bad enough when her fur gets all over the couch and she makes you clean it up while she just lays there with that stupid fucking grin on her face.
>At least it isn’t as bad in the winter when she doesn’t shed as much.
>You’re out of milk. Again.
>You swear the carton was full not even two days ago, but then again you have a cheshire cat for a roommate.
>You were searching the fridge for the missing carton so you could have some Countess Chocula when she strolled by polishing it off.
>She noticed you looking and responded with only a “’sup” before tossing the empty carton into the garbage.
>You really like Countess Chocula.
>You’re playing one of your video games when your faggotcat roommate comes up to you.
>Well, all you can see of her are her yellow eyes and toothy grin.
>”Watchya playin’?”
>”Are ya winnin’ son?”
>You sigh and go back to your vidya. Your holstaur milk production is really starting to dip well below what it should be, while the arachne silk farm has way too many workers tasked to it.
>”Guess what I’m wearing.”
>Her face blocks your view of the monitor and you try and look around, over, or under her but she keeps her dumb face in yours.
>You reach around her (invisible) body and pause your game.
>”Fine. Jeans and a t-shirt.”
>”Miniskirt and tanktop.”
>”Your mouseprint pajamas.”
>Her grin gets even wider.
>”I’m wearing nothing.”
>She cackles madly right after she reaches over to delete your savegame before dashing off to her room.
>Fucking faggotcats.
>There goes four hours of progress.
>It’s been a few weeks, but you finally managed to invite this one girl to your apartment.
>She’s a solid 8/10 in your opinion: pretty hair, decently sized tits and ass, and her personality is almost exactly what you like in a girl.
>You of course also told your faggotcat roommate that you were inviting a girl over, and to not fuck things up between you and your ‘date’.
>Your date is actually impressed with the dinner you made, and thankfully your faggotcat roommate is either actually out somewhere or sitting in her room invisible, scheming exactly how she can ruin your time with the girl you invited over.
>Evidently she was scheming because you were about to kiss your date while watching something, she took the remote (while invisible) and changed the channel to something embarrassing before putting the remote in such a way that it looked like you totally did it on purpose.
>Your date totally heard the t.v. blaring that embarrassing thing and noticed the remote in your lap before she stopped and said that maybe she should head home now.
>As soon as your lost date shuts the door behind her, your roommate shows herself, or rather her stupid grin.
>She disappears again and you find a slip of paper on the ground where she was standing.
>’All mine :3′
>Fucking faggotcat.
>You get back home from doing some errands when you walk into the kitchen.
>Apparently while you were out your cheshire roommate decided to steal 40 cakes because she wanted to do something terrible.
>She doesn’t even like the cake she stole.
>You swear you’ll never understand that monstergirl.
>Fuck retail work.
>Seriously, screw the person who came up with the idea of “the customer is always right”, because it’s changed to “the customer is always right even if they’re wrong, an asshole, and can’t read that the coupon for 25% off their cheesy poofs expired a week ago”.
>You just want to go home and fall into bed.
>And yet that isn’t going to happen because your cheshire roommate is sleeping on it instead of her own for some reason.
>Something in you snaps and you basically throw her off your bed and yell at her about how you’re tired of her bullshit and how she basically makes your life a living hell at home.
>She stares at you for a second, rubbing the shoulder she landed on before spinning around to slowly walk out of the room.
>She pauses in the doorway for a moment as if she wants to say something, but thinks better of it and simple turns back around.
>You stand there for a moment before you hear her door slam, making you wince.
>You don’ it nao Arry Porrer.
>You set your bag down on the floor before walking down the hall to her room.
>You sigh heavily and right before you’re about to knock you hear a muffled “c-come in” from behind the flimsy wood.
>The door creaks as you slowly open it, and you’re surprised to see your cheshire roommate filling a suitcase up with some of her clothing.
>You’re also surprise to see that she isn’t smiling, not even a little bit.
>She looks up at you before going back to tossing more of her things into her bag.
>”H-hey. You’re probably wondering why I’m packing stuff.”
>You stand there silently.
>”I-I just thought that since I’ve been ‘making your life a living hell’ as you put it, then m-maybe you could use a break from me for a few days…”
>She sure is packing a lot more than she would need if she were just going to be gone for ‘a few days’.
>She nearly jumps out of her fur when you grab onto her wrist, making her drop the mouseprint pajamas she was about to put into the suitcase.
>She looks up at you with her big yellow eyes.
>You pull her in for a hug, and as soon as her face is buried in your chest she starts sobbing uncontrollably.
>”I’m sorry.” you both say at the same time, although neither of you are really paying attention.
>A few minutes later your cheshire roommate finally calms down a bit and pulls herself away from you.
>Her eyes are now a bit red and puffy looking after crying into your shirt for a while, and she sniffles a little bit too.
>”Wh-why? I thought you didn’t want me around anymore.”
>Without thinking you lean down and kiss her hard, and her eyes go wide for a moment before they flutter closed and she starts purring.
>You break the embrace after several seconds and look down at her joy-filled face, and her shit-eating grin gets even wider as you show her the slip of paper that says ‘All mine :3’ on it.
>That’s strange, you swear you stopped her from packing all of her stuff but there’s some new clothing on the ground.
>You look up to her bed after hearing the trademark *poof* sound a cheshire makes when they teleport, and you see her smiling while also lying naked on the sheets in a ‘come hither’ pose.

>Fucking faggotcats.

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9 thoughts on “Cheshire Roommate

    1. I really don’t know. I wrote this up in about three hours after the idea (or request rather) had been sitting on my computer for nearly a month.

      As for the meme arrow stuff, I just thought it would fit better if I used them with the way each “sentence” was constructed.

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