Ace of Joker – Part Three

You stand and observe the eating area. As the time wanders along, you take note of several facts:

One: You can’t withstand sexual pleasure worth a shit.

Two: Those Houris have been staring at you for waaayyy too long.

Three: Good Ol’ Zarika is harassing the patrons again.

Such is the life of Wonderland’s Pizzeria, were everything is made up, and personal space doesn’t matter.

Sighing, your mind turns back to the titular Jabberwock Ekaterina you now call girlfriend. After your…lackluster performance a few days earlier, she has vowed to improve your stamina and resistance a thousandfold. ‘It would be more fun that way’, she said.

Yeah, right…

“Oi, ya seem distracted, boy..”

Turning your head, you come face-to-tit with Zarika. How the fuck did she get back up here without you noticing?

“I’m fine, Zarika.”

“Hehehehe, I think not…”

Zarika is Manticore. A big one at that. She’s probably seven tall. She has this huge as scar going from her right eye to her lip. Her skin also has mocha color to it. Her spiky anime hair is purple in hue, will the fur on her arms and legs is dark red. Seems like the traditional Manticore color scheme is inverted on her.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Drive through needs some our special yogurt.”

“Oh, really? Well, I get right on that…”

The fucking smile is doesn’t help your nerves at all. As you sit and wait for some sort of customer to come order something, you eyes meet the gaze of those Houris in the back. The little pink shits start giggling. Arm in arm, they make their way to the counter. Straightening you posture, you give the practiced bullshit over again:

“Hello and welcome to Wonderland Pizzeria! How may I help you?”

The smaller one is really struggling to suppress her laughter. What the fuck is so funny?

“Well, dear sir…It’s come to our attention of the sorry state of your establishments ‘yogurt’ producer.”

“I’m sorry?”

The taller one speak this time.

“Are you aware of the humanitarian violations going on here?

You shift your eyes around. Have your fears been confirmed?

“Not really, I’m not authorized to enter the backrooms.”

The Houris never seem to lose their smiles. It’s getting kind of creepy now. What the fuck has your employer been doing?

“You’re awfully nervous sir. You wouldn’t mind if we see the back, no?”

“I…don’t have the authority to do that…”

You can feel the beads of sweat beginning to form. You’re too young to go to jail. You had no idea what they were doing!

“Well sir, we have to ask you to step aside, in about…now.”


You jump as the wall collapses completely. An Ushi-Oni comes charging through.


Fuck you job! Fuck this! Your life matters more than money! You dive to left, hoping you don’t get crushed by the collateral damage of  a rampaging Ushi-Oni. Zarika comes out the back again only to get bulldozed by the Rape Train.

“I suggest you leave now, sir. Things are about to get messy.”


“…in other news, today Wonderland’s Pizzeria is the scene of massive sting operation…”

As you sit in the relative safety of home, you watch the report of today’s events. Your former job is no more. Apparently, they violated several Worker’s Rights Acts. You found out that the yogurt was indeed semen from some poor bloke. Thankfully you never drank any…

The bloke in question was pretty malnourished and drained of reproductive capabilities, but otherwise okay. Seeing as how you had no idea this was going on, you’ve been absolved of the charges placed against Wonderland’s Pizzeria. Same can’t be said of the other workers, especially Zarika.

Serves the grabby fuck right.

“Good to see your okay, lover…”

FUCK! Rolling out of your bed in fear, you slightly calm down as you see its just Ekaterina. More importantly, HOW THE FUCK SHE GET IN YOUR HOUSE!

“Don’t give me that look. I had a key made!”


“So I can visit you whenever I like, silly!”

You have time for this bullshit. Getting up from your prone positon, you quickly take notice that she’s only wearing a plane white apron. In flowery text, ‘Fuck the Cook’ is written on it.

“Wh-Where did you get that!?”

“My Arachnae friend made it for me. Do you like it?”

Doing a little twirl, your eyes are drawn to that delicious bubble butt. Those hips don’t lie, indeed. It’s just as big as that Kauken’s you knew in high school. The booty is calling to you…

Giggling, Ekaterina waves a fing…claw at you.

“Heh, no touching until you can have sex with me and not pass out before the fun begins.”

God Damn it.

“Now come on, I need you to help me make a special dish!”

Sighing, you follow Ekaterina into the kitchen. At least your life more lively nowadays…


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