Tales of Dragon Regiment Ch.2

“Marry me!”




“Marry me!”




“Marry me you asshole!”


“No! And stop following me you crazy bitch!” Adin shouted at the persistent salamander tailing him. The constant shouting match between the two had drawn a small crowd.


‘This is insane!’, Adin thought, ‘I ran out of the plaza and ducked through alleys, but she still found me!’


“I’m not gonna stop until you agree to marry me. Then you and I can fuck like wererabbits!” Jana proclaimed at the top of her lungs. At this announcement the crowed that had gathered began to talk in a frenzy.


“Did you hear that, Adin got married!”


“I can’t believe it, he turned me down a year ago.”


“Seems like mister loner finally got himself a woman.”


“Hey guys! I say we all go to the tavern tonight and drink to celebrate!”


“I hear that!”


“Wait! Everyone you’ve got the wrong idea!” Adin tried to correct them but they were so intent on gossiping that the didn’t hear a word he said. “Look what you did.” He turned to Jana accusingly.


“I just said what was gonna happen sooner or later.” Jana answered smugly.


Adin just stared at her, taken aback by the finality of her statement.


Adin sighs and rubbed his temples. “This is more than I can handle. If only I could think of a way to keep her occupied for a while. Then I can find a way to get rid of her.” he muttered under his breath.


“Adin, dear, what’s this I hear about you getting married?” asked a quiet but firm voice behind Adin.


Adin turned around to see a holstaurus with auburn hair looking up at him. He briefly thanked every deity he could think of for giving him the perfect distraction.


“Betsy! I am so glad to see you! I need a favor!” Betsy looked up at him curiously.


“Hey! Husband, who the hell is that!” Jana shouted


“For the last time, I’m not your husband!” Adin yelled over his shoulder before turning back to Betsy. “Betsy this is Jana, she’s new and needs a tour of town.”


At the word “tour” Betsy’s eyes practically shined. “Oh dear, a tour?! It’s already midday! If we are going to cover everything before dusk we need to hurry!” She briskly walked over to Jana, her hooves clopping on the cobblestone, and grabbed her firmly by the hand.


Some of the crowd began to murmur in sympathy.

“Looks like Betsy found another victim.”

“Poor thing is gonna be dragged all over town now.”

“My wrist still isn’t healed after she dragged me around.”


Jana tried to yank her hand away from Betsy, but the holstaurus’ grip on her hand was like a vice. “Let go of me you cow!”


“Come on dear, if we are going to see everything we need to hurry!” Betsy continued to drag Jana away, as if she didn’t hear a word Jana said. Jana continued cursing, screaming obscenities all the way, while her claws uselessly scraped against the cobblestone in an attempt to stay where she was.


Eventually they turned a corner and were out of sight. Adin sighed in relief, ‘That should buy me some time to think of a way to fix this. Now what can I do to get Jana to forget about that me?’




“I said…*pant*…let go of me…*pant*…bitch.” Jana gasped. She had been screaming at the holstaurus at the top of her lungs for the past hour, leaving her out of breath and her throat sore, but to no avail. The holstaurus just continued to drag her through the town pointing out stores and businesses, going into great detail when they came to a bakery or confectionery.


“This here is butcher’s shop, if you want any kind of meat they got it, pork, fish, beef, they’ve got it all.” Said Betsy as she gestured with enthusiasm before she began to drag Jana farther down the street. “And that is the adventurer’s guild founded last year by Adin.” Betsy continued as she gestured to a small building with a sign with two crossed swords.


Jana stopped resisting and looked at Betsy with curiosity. “What was that last part?”


Betsy stopped and turned to Jana, releasing her hand, glad to finally have an attentive audience. “Last year Adin organized some local adventures and founded an adventurer’s guild. The adventurer’s guild helps with gathering resources that are dangerous to attain, such as Honeybee honey or Alraune nectar. They also help get rid of troublesome species such as Devil Bugs.”


Jana rolled her eyes. “No, I mean tell me more about my husba- I mean Adin.”


Betsy tilted her head in thought. “Well I don’t see what that has to do with the tour, but okay. Adin came to Angustusfield about a year and a half ago. I remember him coming into town with barely anything to his name. My husband Mark and I let him stay with us for a while in exchange for helping my husband with his guard duties.”


Betsy leaned in to whisper to Jana, “Just between you and me, my husband is kinda lazy.”, before leaning back to resume talking normally. “Anyway, Adin showed he was really good with a sword and became a sort of town guardian. He would be called in when it came to things the town guards couldn’t normally handle. One time I saw him take down a group of hornets that came into town to hunt men, it was incredible!”


Jana nodded in thought, while hornets by themselves pose only a moderate threat, when they form small groups they can hunt with terrifying coordination. To fight them like that is usually a quick way to be injected with a large amount of venom that could leave even the largest human in a rut for days, if not weeks.


“He was a good cook to,” Betsy continued, “I was kinda sad when he left to build his own house. He took his weird chest with him too.”


“Weird chest?”


“Yeah, when Adin first came into town he only had the clothes on his back and a large chest. When we let him stay with us he told us not to touch it.” Betsy looked around guiltily, “I was curious so I went into his room to look but the chest had no way to open it. There was no lock or anything, I don’t know how anything could get in there.”


Jana’s tail began to burn a little hotter. “Oh~, do you think it might be filled with dirty books?” Jana asked with a toothy grin.


Betsy blushed, “I-it might be, but I don’t know.”


“Interesting. Can you tell me one more thing? Where does Adin live?”


“I-I don’t know. I don’t think Adin would like it if I told you that.”


Jana leaned in towards Betsy. “Come on, it’s not a big deal. Just think of it as part of the tour.”


Betsy shuffled back and forth nervously. “I-I guess it’s okay. Just don’t tell him I told you okay, he would get mad.”


Jana smirked. “My lips are sealed.”


“Okay, his house is up on the hill to the north of town. It is a small cabin on the edge of the woods.”


Jana flashed her teeth in a predatory grin. “Thanks! I’ll be going then!”




“See ya later.” Jana shouted as she ran full speed, kicking up dust and gravel as she went, towards the north side of town.


Betsy watched as Jana left. “B-but what about the tour!” she shouted as she stomped her hoof on the cobblestone leaving a crack in it.




“*Sigh* I can’t believe there is not a single potion of amnesia in town.” Adin had gone from an apothecary to a magic shop, in which he had to talk an eager witch out of paying for services with his body, but he couldn’t find anyone who had the ingredients to make such a brew. He continued to search for the potion until dusk, however it was a fruitless endeavor.


“I guess I have to think of another way to get Jana to leave me alone.” He mumbled to himself. “For now I guess I’ll head back home and go to sleep.”


‘Perhaps if I sat her down and explained to her how I’m not interested.’ Adin pondered as he exited town and began to trek uphill to his cabin. ‘She can’t possible be that unreasonable. But then again, she is a salamander and they are hardly known for their common sense.’


Adin inwardly sighed in vexation. ‘This is just too much for me. Things used to be so much simpler.’


Adin continued to complain to himself as he reached the crest of the hill. However his eyes narrowed upon seeing the front door of his cabin ajar. ‘Something’s wrong, I know I closed the door when I left today.’


Adin drew his sword and slowly walked towards the door. Taking a deep breath Adin slowly pushed the door all the way open, wincing when the hinges squeaked. Upon entering the cabin the first thing he noticed was how the cabin was unusually warm. The second thing he noticed was the smell of burnt wood.


Adin walked down the hall and turned right, into his room. He was greeted with the form of Jana, her falchion ready and a hostile expression on her face. Next to her was Adin’s lockbox, the top of which had been burnt off. The content of the box was strewn about the floor. The items in question were a set of order plate mail and an ornate broad sword with the order insignia etched into the hilt and a lustrous sapphire embed in the pommel.


“You’re a fucking bastard, you know that?” Jana said as she glared at Adin. “You pretend to care about the people in this town, but you were just waiting for the right moment to stab them in the back!”


“Calm down and listen to me.” Adin calmly said, “This is a big mis-”


“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses! I thought I finally found a man worthy of being my husband, but he turns out to be nothing but a piece of scum.”


“I’m no long-”


“I said I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses! We settle this with our blades!” She shouted as she charged forward with her falchion poised for a horizontal slash. Her tail exploding into an inferno of heat and flames.


Adin brought his sword up just in time to block it. However the force behind the blow knocked Adin off his feet and slammed him sideways into the cabin wall, Adin landed on the floor slightly dazed from the impact.


He regained his senses just in time to see Jana leaping at him, about to cleave her falchion into his head. Adin hurriedly brought his sword up to block, bracing the flat of the blade on his left hand. Jana’s falchion bit deep into Adin’s sword, mere millimeters from breaking it completely in two.


Trying to put distance between them, Adin kicked Jana in her gut. The blow causing Jana to stagger back, her falchion freeing itself from Adin’s sword.


Seeing his chance Adin got to his feet and chucked his sword at Jana. Jana easily bated away the thrown blade only for Adin to tackle her into the wall. Pinning her arms against the wall and using his leg to keep her from kicking him.


“I keep trying to tell you I’m not part of the order anymore! If you stopped trying to separate my head from my body and listened, maybe you would realize that!” Adin shouted directly into her face.


Jana’s eyes softened briefly before hardening back into a piercing glare. “Don’t lie to me you bastard!” She shouted back as she brought her head forward in a vicious headbutt. Adin grip loosened as stars danced across his eyes. Her arms free, Jana hit Adin in the face with a left hook, sending him tumbling right into his old armor.


Adin, still disoriented, grasped for something to use as a weapon, something to hold off the crazed salamander. His hand closed around the hilt of his old broad sword. As soon as his hand came into contact with the hilt, the sapphire in the pommel began to shine a brilliant azure. A weapon in his hand Adin looked up to see Jana standing above him, poised to thrust her sword into his chest.


His body feeling filled to the brim with energy, Adin rolled to the left as Jana’s sword pierced the wooden floor where his chest used to be. Rolling to his feet Adin swung his sword at Jana’s head with speed no human should posses.


The flat of his sword met Jana’s temple with enough force to fling her violently into the wall. Adin watched as Jana’s limp body slid and fell to the floor, her sword still stuck firmly in the cabin’s floor.


Adin cautiously walked towards Jana’s body, his sword at the ready. As he got within reach he gently poked her with his sword. No response. Leaning down he placed two fingers on her neck, attempting to feel for a pulse. Faintly he felt the beat of her heart, still actively pumping blood through her body.


Sighing in relief he looked around the room. The impromptu battle had completely smashed most of the furniture. Looking back at the unconscious form of Jana, Adin just sighed.


“Why me.”

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