“Why? So you can get drunk and make me sleep in the barn again?” she asks loud enough for everyone to hear.
That flying fucking bullshit artist. I can’t see from down here, but I’m sure she has that infuriating smirk right now.
I grit my teeth.
“That’s…..” I begin to say through the megaphone. This wasn’t a mistake or a misunderstanding on her part- she was straight-up lying about my treatment of her in front of pretty much the whole county. Instinctively I was going to say “That’s not true” but then inspiration struck me.
Why not fight her bullshit with more bullshit?
“That’s because you keep dive-bombing my schnauzer! The poor thing is terrified of you now!”
Oh the look on her face. She’s been getting used to goading and teasing me, but not being on the receiving end of such treatment. The surprise and indignation on Perri’s face was visible even from my lowly position on the ground, and it was sweeter than any gooey, caramel covered confectionary.
“What the hell was that all about!?” I pant, bringing up my hat so that I can see.
“The oldest daughter in prior host family taught capoeira- she gave me a few lessons.”
“It’s a fighting style that originates from Brazil that incorporates common dance moves into-“
“I…I know what it is, Perri.” I mumble. “I’m just wondering why…”
“In Japan, I couldn’t fly as much as I would’ve preferred- but my host family sought other ways for me to remain physically active.”
“But…you’re….an apex predator! That’s like teaching a 700 lb gorilla how to use a crossbow!”
“Are you calling me a gorilla?” she scowled at me.
“I could call you a lot worse than that.”