Wormhole Ch.1 (Updated)

Author’s Note:

Don’t know how many people will read it but here is the revamped version of Wormhole Chapters 1 of 5. I’m getting ready for a release on other sites so I felt it had to be done. Still the same continuity as chapters 6 and beyond, just spruced up with some extra bits added. Chapter 12 will be coming soon.

Original Note:

A big shout out to BONODONO and his story “A Connecticut Yankee” that inspired my story.  Apologies if a few aspects from his story have been used in this story but it was done out of appreciation.  Since this is my first time writing a story, I only hope that some people will be entertained by it.

Enjoy and comment.


After being thrown through a portal, an unlikely “hero”, Jason, is thrust into a world set upon by a war between the Demon Lord’s monster girls and the imperial Order.

As Jason sets out on a quest to return to his home on Earth, he finds himself in the crosshairs of the lust-fueled monster girls, or mamano, whose sexual appetite for males have created a true rape culture. A natural cynic, degenerate, and all around asshole, Jason’s vitriolic skepticism toward these hypersexualized mamano remains on high alert as he navigates the titillatingly predatory landscape.

However when the sins of his past come back to threaten him once again, Jason must carefully decide friend from foe in an epic battle to not only save his own life, but the lives of every being in this new-found dimension.

Action, adventure, and romance abound for Jason as his skills are tested, his moralities are questioned, and his love life intensified as he finds much more wonders and thrills in this new world than he could ever have imagined…



My story is… complicated. But let’s just say it’s simple so we can get started.

I’m of Earth, year 2065; that much I know. But that fact doesn’t do me much good in this story. Besides, I’m not writing an autobiography here.

To begin, I found myself sucked into a wormhole portal where I was twisted into a pretzel while spiraling uncontrollably through the vortex. My mind was going through even more loops than my body. I felt like a piece of shit going down a toilet. How deep.

Exactly how did I end up careening down a goddamn wormhole? Hey, one long story at a time.

Soon I was flushed out by a sky portal into a whole new world or dimension depending on your preference. I landed on top of a steep hill where gravity took over. A few scratches, bumps, and grass stains later, I finally stopped once I hit rockbottom… literally.

If I had the state of mind to curse out loud, I would have. But that wasn’t in the cards right now. To go from wildly skydiving through space and time to crashing onto the fast-approaching ground before you can even brace yourself, well, let’s just say that you’re not in a very creative mood.

At least I made one Hell of an entrance.

Even after I stopped spinning, the world had not in my eyes. Besides the crash, I was delirious as the wormhole’s after-effects had taken over. Think it’s fun going through a wormhole? Guess what, it’s not. About as reinvigorating as malaria. We’re talking nausea, muscle pains, light-headedness, sweating, and all those other symptoms that make you want to say ‘Fuck my job’ and stay in bed that day. That special kind of feeling that comes from mixing classy drinks with the cheapest liquor store beer you can get for free, giving you the worst hangover imaginable. Felt like having a gassy King Kong sit on your head for a couple of hours.

Pulling myself up while trying to balance the aspirin-proof rock on top of my shoulders, I found that my vision and hearing hadn’t fully rebooted yet. There was an aching over my body but I wasn’t coordinated enough to wince from it. I couldn’t even control direction I started wandering to. The classic case of the engine running but no one behind the wheel.

If you couldn’t tell, I was pretty defenseless in my current state. Unfortunately, that’s all it takes to be ambushed. I couldn’t make out who my assailants were, much less resist. I didn’t even have the coordination to give them the middle-finger salute.

But it seemed odd. I remember catching a glimpse of something scaly. Like a lizard or something. But that wasn’t all; I also thought I saw a pair of… breasts? Boy, I must have got fucked up by that wormhole worse than I thought.

Next, I was then stripped of my armor and gear before being loaded into a wagon with two other schmucks and carted away like the unruly drunk that I was.

How fair is that? I was drunk but I wasn’t even driving.

During the ride, I wasn’t able to tell how long we rode, but the effects of the wormhole started to wear off somewhat. I was able to see and hear much better, plus my mobility began to improve. Wish I could have stretched out but we were chained up. However, I was still sick to my stomach with a throbbing head. That’s fine with me. It no worse than a typical hangover that I knew all too well. Frustratingly, my ability to speak hadn’t yet returned.

Eventually, we reached our destination. I was unloaded from the dark wagon back into the glaring sunlight along with the other prisoners. Despite being more sober, I tripped on the wagon steps and fell face first onto the ground like a dumbass.

This is where things got really interesting.

My eyes finally adjusted to the change in light while on the ground. So by the time I was picked up from behind and lifted back to my feet, I would be able to spot my captors and shoot them a dirty look. But what I saw was… unexpected; a sign of things to come. Gathering around us was a group of creatures, for lack of a better term. They were female; very, very female. My dirty look halted mid-formation. Their toned, feminine bodies were like nothing I’d ever seen before. No woman on Earth had bodies like this. The sexual features of these ladies were a marvel to the human mind, particularly a male’s. Tits bigger than your hands, round asses, thin and defined abs, shapely legs, pristine hair, and some absolutely beautiful faces nailed one hell of a first-impression package that most women could only dream of delivering. And stuff that guys dream about being the recipient of even more. Only adding to the stunning scene was that they were clad in bikini tops, tube tops, lingerie undies, tight one-piece suits, stockings, and other skanky garments that was standard for a private California beach. Maybe I would have said ‘put some clothes on’ if they didn’t have the “assets” to back it up. Holy hot damn.

They were the most sexy and voluptuous women I had ever seen in my life.

But that wasn’t even the weirdest part. When you got past the tits and asses, difficult I know, you would see that that was only half the picture. These girls were showing off more than just kickass human parts. They had green or dark orange scales, like that of a lizard, covering their forearms and calves down. It was complete with clawed hands and feet. They appeared to be wearing some armored parts on their shoulders and hips which were also made of scales. Their tail, yeah a tail, was of similar decor. For some of them, the tail appeared to be on fucking fire as it swayed back and forth. Gives a new spin to the term “hot ass”

They were ‘armed’ in more ways than one. Swords almost as tall as me about as half as wide as my waist. They looked like they weighed a shit ton, but these girls weren’t having any trouble carrying them. Regardless, they looked ready for war yet also ready for a day at the beach too.

One woman, though, stood out from the others. She was an imposing, stern specimen of a woman, but somehow looked even more outlandish. She had fur covering most of her lower body. Not some furry pants mind you, but, in fact, her legs and tail were that of a lion while her arms resembled a bird’s talons. However the most eye-catching part of her was the feathery wings that expanded a good eight feet long from her back. The most normal thing about her was the beach skirt showing off so much leg that you’d be able to see cooch, if not for the fur. She had some kind of a shawl covering her top half, leaving her torso revealed while allowing the bottom of her tits to peek out. And let me tell you, this “lion” chick had even bigger breasts than the “lizard” chicks as well as a more muscularly taught physique. I got the impression that she was the leader as she looked us all over like cattle.

I had to pick my jaw up off the ground as I, naturally, found it hard not to gawk over them. Frankly, I didn’t know how to react, and still not being able to talk made it even harder. Maybe I would have been pretty aroused if I wasn’t so goddamn confused. Even so, my mind ran wild with nonsensical thoughts, which only made my pounding head hurt that much more.

Finally managing to take in my surroundings, I noticed that I was in a small village of sorts. Wooden huts, wagons, tables, benches, and some canvas tents were scattered about. The vined covered fountain looked like it had been dry for years. Nothing in this village was too fancy except for the large stone fortress in the center of it all. Not a whole castle but a single tower with an accompanying fort that exuded authority over the village.

We were then escorted by the three lizards into the fortress. Dirty and crumbling walls with most of the occupants being spiders. It wasn’t exactly ‘My Little Pony’s’ magic castle, was it? No, this place was less nauseating. And clearly, it wasn’t meant as a defense point; more like a hideout.

Just where the hell was I and what the fuck is going on? And also, when do we meet Hugh Hefner?

We stopped in an old empty bathhouse of sorts. It was here where we were met by some other women who I hoped were only wash maidens. ‘Wash maiden’, however, would not be my first choice in describing them. At first, they looked to be dressed as typical French maids, but upon closer examination, their outfits were made out of a slimy, black and purple substance like a big piece of jelly. And it seemed to spread onto their… the fuck!? Their body was also made out the same stuff like some kind of blob or something. Tentacles wiggled out from their legs like they were greeting us. Their eyes were a glowing yellow, identical to other glowing spots on their body. Their warm smiles, as well as their figures, were definitely inviting but, nevertheless, I wished I could have gasped out loud. And afterwards, ask the first of many questions.

We were told to undress; evidently they spoke English in this world. I had no choice but to comply. My senses were really starting to come back to me now. A shiver ran down my spine as the cold air attacked me like needles into my flesh.

After the three of us showed our “true colors”, I noticed that I was the only guy that was flaccid. Can’t say that I blame them, but I was too confused to think lewd thoughts, even in the face of this kind of hotness. On top of that, the after affects of the portal likely left me unable to get a boner at the moment. Thank God, because how embarrassing would it be to have your traitorous soldier say ‘Hi’ to these girls before you could?

But this fact didn’t go unnoticed by the girls. They seemed to take a more inquisitive interest in me than the other two bags of flesh. Did they find it insulting? Why? It’s an ugly thing to see. I don’t even like to see it.

Each of us was then approached by one of the slime girls. Their glistening bodies protruded and expanded as they wobbled around like jelly. Why do I have the feeling I was toast?

She gazed with her bright yellow eyes and lovingly smiled at me. I think the yellow ‘eyes’ on her body were also watching me. “Just stand still… and enjoy” she said gently. Before I could imagine what horrible things might happen to me she suddenly latched herself onto my body, fully engulfing me in her gooey mass. Under and over or down and up, if there was a place on me, she reached it. I, on the other hand, was also reaching a nervous breakdown. It was a shame that I still had a mime in my throat because I really wanted to let out a blood-curdling scream as I dreaded the thought of her devouring me like the fucking blob. It didn’t hurt, but I expect that the pain would come full force eventually. For now, the gooey sensation felt like a warm, sticky bath however it was too freakishly strange for me to enjoy it like she suggested. I tried awkwardly fidgeting away, but the snot girl slid around me, splooging into all my cracks and crevices that I didn’t even know I had. There was no choice but to pray that I had all of my limbs if I got out of this alive. I especially hoped the mini-me between my legs was in tact, which she had been focusing on more than any other part of me. God, please don’t fucking take that away!

Within two minutes she reformed in front of me, somehow with a blush on her face. I’m not really sure how blackish slime was able to blush but fuck if that’s important right now. “It’s been a pleasure to clean you, sir.” she said with a polite bow.

Clean? Now that she mentioned it, I did feel freshened up. However, on a different level, I felt even more dirty than before. You get dirty in order to get clean? How the Hell does that work? But there was still no wood growing in my legs yet. And the girls looked even more surprised.

After we got dressed back into our clothes, minus our armor, we were taken by three red lizard chicks up the stairs of the tower where we stopped in front of a large door near the top. Lined up with me in the back, the first asshole was brought into the room by one of the girls while we waited outside. Ten minutes later, he was brought out of the room and escorted away. Then, in went the next asshole, leaving me alone with ‘my’ red lizard guarding behind me. Now would have been great time to get some answers, but I still couldn’t talk. Fuck.

After another ten minutes of standing with my thumb up my ass, the second guy left the room and was escorted away like the first guy. That left only one asshole left…

Finally. There was no captioned TV for me to watch while waiting in that lobby.

Inside the room was that lion-bird babe from earlier. She was sitting at a table and finishing taking a note in the book she held in her clawed hand. As I was presented before her, the red lizard with me walked over and whispered something into her ear. Oh secrets, huh? Better not be on the lack of ‘enthusiasm’ between my legs earlier.

I was instructed by the red lizard to stand up straight and do as she said. At first it was just the basics; open your mouth, breath in, breath out, lift your leg and all that other crap like I was a kid at an examination. If they were planning on making a slave out of me then shit… I don’t have insurance to cover that.

All of my bewilderment came to an eruption when the red lizard suddenly grabbed my crotch. Not a painfully tight grip but fucking hell it doesn’t need to be a tight grip to make a guy yelp like a squeak toy. Adding to my hysteria was that I expected her clawed hand to feel like a cheese grater running across my balls. Oh the horror… But it was surprisingly warm and smooth. And also pleasant enough to get some of the blood flowing, eh-heh. It was nice to know that I was ‘coming’ around, but regardless of the pleasant surprise, something snapped in me. I abruptly backed off and shouted, “Hey! Hey! Hey! Watch it!” Well what do you know? I could finally talk, as well as bitch about stuff again. And boy, did I have a huge back log in my “bitch later” folder. All of my paranoia, frustrations, and confusion came pouring out of me like a hurricane as I threw caution to the wind and unleashed.

“Listen you fiery fuck-wit, claws off the downstairs plumbing! I’m not in the mood for any more bullshit today! I’ve already had my ass dropped out of the sky onto a mound of shit before you cosplayers showed up. Then you cage me, you strip me, you slime me, you fondle me, but I’m not even given the goddamn curtesy of a simple explanation as to what the hell I’m doing here!? And don’t even get me started on my aching limbs or the hangover that’s pounding my brain like a Woodstock’s Revenge concert. So yeah, if you want to know how I’m doing, Doc, that about sums up how peachy I feel right now. Inspection’s over. Now hand over my equipment, give me my post-examination lollipop, and fuck off. I’m going to check the hell out of here before the law firm arrives and smacks your sweet ass with enough sexual harassment lawsuits to have you spayed in twenty-four hours.

Hey, once the flood gates opened up, there was no stopping it.

After I had thoroughly made a fool of myself, I stopped. Panting quite heavily with a scowl carved deep into my face, I fully expecting a beating. I didn’t mind so much as long as it got me some answers as to why I was brought here and so on and so forth. Instead, both girls glanced at each other, then back at me where their focus remained for what felt like an eternity. I noticed the room getting brighter as the lizard’s blazing tail intensified. Both of their eyes gleamed through the blushes on their ‘kid in a candy store’ faces. I think I even saw some drool dripping from the red lizard’s mouth. Should I be worried or… more worried?

The agonizing tension was finally broke when the red lizard spoke to the feline.

“Maybe he’s good enough to be-” she queried.

“A negotiator? Perhaps” the lion replied awkwardly as she furrowed her brow, akin to a daydreamer trying to look professional. “Put him in a separate holding cell. I’ll be by later to give him my… personal inspection”

The lizard girl then glided toward me; her face was what I can only describe as being absent-minded. She even tried holding my hand, but I pulled back. Then she gently but firmly grasped my arm and started rubbing it tenderly before leading me away. Scaly here was surprisingly strong. To be fair, she was in fantastic shape but I never considered myself small or weak for that matter. In fact with my training, I myself was in decent shape. Yet, I felt like a two year old being pulled away by his mommy for saying a bad word.

As we left the room, the lion yelled out “Make sure not to damage or soil him. He’s for the Demon Lord to decide”

“Yes ma’am” my lizard escort yelled back in a shaky voice. She didn’t sound that frail when she was ordering us around earlier, so what was this all about?

I wondered just what the hell is the “Demon Lord” they mentioned? What is a negotiator? Was I going to be a slave in the big cheese’s castle? Living the life of high luxury, at least by slave standards? Like serving appetizer trays to a king off my back? I was far too curious at this point; I had to get something out of my sexy guard.

“Tell me, Doc, is it hot in here or is it just your tail?” I said striking up a conversation.

She turned and gave me that candy store look again.

“What? Is there anything you… want?” she said dreamily.

“I’ll be satisfied if I just get some answers. Like who is this Demon Lord? And you’re not planning on having me clean their castle, are you?” I asked flatly.

Tidiness was definitely not my strong point. I could barely keep the underwear off the floor of my room.

“Nothing of the kind. You will be brought before our Lord who will decide if you are to made one of her negotiators”

She said… ‘her’?

“The fuck is that?”

“It’s a special position. Only a select few get a chance like this. You are to serve our Lord in maintaining peace with some of her more ‘rocky’ alliances”

Great. I haven’t even been in this world one day and already I’m given the task of helping it stay in one piece.

“What do you mean ‘negotiator’? Like a political lackey? Sorry, but I’m an awful ambassador. Come to think of it, the sight of a contract makes me want to hurl”

“No, human. You see, some of our Lord’s forces can become difficult, and at times rebellious, if they are not compensated for their troubles when holding off the Order’s forces. Of course our Lord has the power to punish those who betray her trust, however, she prefers more peaceful methods for maintaining loyalty. That’s where the negotiators come in. They act as a representative to our Lord to ensure that the generals stay in good standing with her”

Sounds like a union, and just as much of a pain in the ass as one.

“And what special skills do you need for this special job? What do I do?” I coaxed more out of her.

She smiled humorously. “You do them” she said as a matter of fact.

My mind went as utterly blank as my stare. “…Pardon?” I checked to see if my imagination switch was left on in my brain.

“You accompany them the best way possible; you lay with them. And you satisfy all of their needs their womanhood desires”

If it’s possible for a mind to explode, then my grey-matter would have been plastered against the wall by now. I stared straight through her thoughtlessly with a mouth that refused to close.

Frozen in disbelief at her revelation, she must have mistook my dumbfounded expression for a hungry baboon with a raging banana between his legs.

“I know, it’s exhilarating isn’t it? I dare say that you have a good chance of becoming a negotiator. You may even give your clients a child. It truly is an honor to be considered for this role. To be able to freely lay with several high ranking mamono, spreading your seeds across the lands” she said huskily.

That was it; I lost it again. When I entered this new dimension, I half expected to be maimed, incinerated, curb-stomped, eaten, or anything else mentioned in Sir Robin’s song from “The Holy Grail”. But this… this was a whole new milestone of mindfuckery. Like seriously, where was I? How the fuck could a place like this exist? I, I, who, what, just… why?

Besides the insanity of the whole thing, I never considered myself a hunk by any stretch of the imagination. Averagely strong body, sure, but certainly far from a chick magnet. In fact, I thought the other two guys were better looking than I was. So why me? How did I manage to land this spot? And why is that a basis of maintaining power? I mean this “Demon Lord” must be a real ass-backwards eccentric. Like Cosmo Kramer on Speed at a rave party kind of eccentric.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…” I stammered as I yanked her to a stop. “… wait. This Demon Lord wants to prostitute me out to her super-model army just as a method of positive reinforcement? Has she ever thought of giving them a pay raise? Or even just a simple ‘Keep up the good work’ card? Has that bitch ever heard of a fucking sexually transmitted disease? I… what… it just… fuck…?”

Shit there was too much in my head to keep it on course.

“Don’t just stand there, say something” I begged the lizard to rescue me as my stuttering was getting the better of me. Her blush was now almost as red as her scales. Her expression was difficult to read, so I didn’t know if I should be flattered or scared shitless at what was coming next. I didn’t have to wait long because in one swift motion, she thrust her body against me and grasped my face in her claws. Beads of sweat instantly formed on my face as her furnace-like scales and fevering body started to roast me.

“I’m not supposed to do this but… I just want a sample” she said as her flaming tail went stiff behind her and flared up into an even bigger blaze. I shivered at the feeling of her tongue dragging along my neck. It sizzled as it soaked my jugular. It was like I was being cow-branded. However, the sensation wasn’t at all painful; I found it rather enjoyable. Having never felt something like that before, I was left me too rattled to resist when she grabbed my wrist and dragged my hand along her hot, velvety waist and backside. The more she carried on, the hotter her body got… and the more of her she had me feel.

It through all of this stimulation when I realized that the flames on her tail caused me no pain whatsoever. And doesn’t even top the list of my prioritized questions.

Clearly I caught her in heat. Wait, why the shit-biscuit was I joking about this? Because the whole thing was so enjoyably fucked up? Yeah, that was it. Clearly this was a job that starts you off in the deep end. But as far as “getting my feet wet”, I found this was still too much to take in at once. No way I could handle this; not right now. My mind was a maelstrom of questions and concerns and pains and emotions and my dick starting to sober up in response to such a gorgeous woman molesting me.

Anxiety leaped from my mouth.

“But I’ve never laid with a woman before. I’m… too nervous” I whimpered with a squeaky voice that I didn’t even know I could do. Where did that come from? I don’t know, I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It wasn’t true, but let’s call it survival instincts. And maybe it would reduce my apparent sex.

She let out a short gasp. “A virgin!? Even better! That way the Maou can personally mold your sexual skills to perfection”

Well, my virgin plan just drizzled down my leg. For once, a lack of experience is an advantage. Does it come with a scholarship?

“Don’t worry, you’re a natural. You’ll do just great” she assured, probably noticing my unease. “I normally only like skilled fighters but… there’s something… different… about you…” Her eyes slid shut as she leaned in to lay a wet one on my lips.

That was the jolt I needed to snap out of all of this stimulation.

“No, no, no! I’m not some prostitute! I need answers, not a whore right now! So keep that fucking soldering iron in your mouth, lizard lips!” I snarled at her who ignored my demand of personal space and chased my lips with her own.

Involuntarily I began backing up with her still latching on to my body. Being too overwhelmed with bewilderment, I hadn’t considered something; namely the open window that was behind me. Before her fiery lips could silence my rambling lips, the back of my legs hit the windowsill, abruptly halting my feet but not halting my upper half from tumbling out.

One back flip later, I had a bit of Deja vu as I rolled down a canvas awning and landed on a table where two other red lizards were snacking. Regardless of my clumsiness, I was thankful for it. The pain shut off my arousal and kicked my senses back into high-gear with that surge of adrenaline I’d been needing. Quickly, I jumped up and ran like crazy toward a nearby hut no bigger than a garage.

As I ran, my powers of perception caught sight of a horse and cart with a tarp over it. I remembered seeing that cart following behind the wagon we were transported in. Note to self: if you can get your sorry ass out of this perverted dilemma, make a stop at that cart. Maybe that’s the lost and found station with my gear in it.

Once in the hut, I instantly slammed the door behind me. No lock, so a primitive world means primitive plans. In this case, sliding a nearby wooden table up against the door was the next best thing.

As I thought about my next move, I spotted a strange sort of black and purple thing-a-ma-jig on the table. Looked like the Riddler’s cane if it was shoved up Maleficent’s skinny devilish ass. But fuck if I cared, it will have to do as a weapon. It still gave me more ferocity than a broom would. I could hear the gals gathering outside, but I couldn’t make out what they were yelling back and forth. They weren’t going to just stand out there and sing Christmas carols until I surrender, so I needed an escape plan.

Apparently, I had hidden in some kind of laboratory, if I had to guess. Potions, viles, and flasks covered several tables, leaving no space to spare. I felt like I just stepped into Cartoon Network. Behind one of the tables stood another woman, and let me tell you, she did not belong on Cartoon Network; more like Adult Swim.

Given what I had seen that day, I fully expected her to have the lower body of a starfish, ears like Dumbo, and arms like a Trex. But she actually appeared to be normal, except for how buxom she was. Oooooh boy, that’s buxom with a capital ‘B’. Purple and black must have been her favorite colors as it made up the majority of her frilly wardrobe. Her bust looked like it had burst through the front while her waist and hips peaked through the cape-like dress in other spots. Her dress shoes were complimented by the light purple stockings. Underneath her big, classic witch hat, her expansive amethyst hair draped down so much that it had to be one Hell of a safety hazard working in a laboratory like this.

She looked ‘normal’; but sure as sin didn’t dress normal. Looked like the slutty version of the Enchantress from Shovel Knight.

“Is this Kiki’s Kinky Delivery Service?” I jeered, hoping to talk my way out of this.

“Uhh, no. It’s my laboratory. Who are you?” she asked, a look of curiosity across her face.

“A draft-dodger. I was selected to be the Demon Lord’s negotiator or pimp or something but it didn’t take”

“A negotiator!?” she gasped.

“Apparently so. A package in a package, just without any health benefits; not even a goddamn condom”

“Wow! A real negotiator! In my laboratory, too! This is a real treat!” she continued in her own giddy outburst while I was left behind, stupefied again.

Why are these bombshells so adamant about seeing me naked? I don’t even like seeing myself naked. You’re telling me that girls like this are that desperate to get laid? How fucking hard could that be for them!? Are guys so rare around here? And do I sound as idiotic as her when I ramble? Maybe…

“Sorry, no autographs. Now please tell me you have a back door to this place”

“(Gasp) You’re even touching my staff!” she exclaimed with a finger directed toward what I had in my hands.

“I am? Oh this? Did you want me to wash my hands first?”

“Maybe with your essence now, my spells can grow even stronger”

“You’ve been drinking too much from your cauldron, Gruntilda. Any chance this thing has fireballs or an invincibility star or anything useful in a fight?”

She paid my quips no mind as her excitement proved too much. “If it’s not too much to ask, could you please infuse me with your spirit energy? Oh please!”

“Look I don’t have time for-”

“Well then can you sample my staff with your seed? It’s for research”

If by ‘seed’ she meant… that stuff, then eww.

“I won’t give you that, but hand me a pot and I’ll give you a big sample of my vomit. If you don’t want that, then you better show me the back door because it’s probably coming out of me regardless. So where’s the-”

Just then, my piss-poor barricade lived up to its name and gave way as it was punched through with deafening force. Both me and my fangirl jumped from the sudden wave of destruction.

In walked the lion babe from earlier along with four fiery lizards girls and two green lizard girls following suit. Geez, this cat had more than just claws; she had power too. Must have never missed a morning without having her steroid Mini Wheats. Now with more penis shrinkage.

“Trying to escape, human? Why do you wish to run from the opportunity to personally serve the Maou? It’s the chance of a lifetime. We don’t wish to hurt you; or violate you” she sternly growled as she glared back at a certain impulsive lizard whose eyes shamefully glued to the ground. “Now cooperate with us or you will only make it worse on yourself. Because if you do get too damaged, then you may not be accepted as a negotiator. But either way, they is no escape for you”

Fortunate for me I could talk and think at the same time. “You can glamorize it as much as you want Simba, but I don’t want to be the sex toy that gets fondled and tucked away in a nightstand. I’m not living the rest of my days as a slave. I make my own decisions in life; like right now!”

With that, I flipped the table of potions in front of me at them, Spaghetti Western style, and prepared myself for the kinkiest fight of my life. The shattered potions sizzled on the ground and filled the hut with a large cloud of orange smoke. That wasn’t part of my improv act but soon enough, the smoke was so thick that I couldn’t see my attackers anymore.

It smelled similar to an air freshener but with a hint of muskiness to it. “Look out, that (cough) that table had (cough) the viles of- (cough)” wheezed the witch behind me before she was cut off. By what? Fuck if I want to stick around to find out. This massive Lorax fart could cover my escape if I just laid low.

I stealthily made my way to the door, hoping to get at least a little bit of a head start without having to bash some heads on the way out. In the fog, I heard the screams begin. Oh, not Joe Pesci getting a blowtorch to the head kind of screams. More like the “fake” screams from “When Harry Met Sally”. But that was just crazy, right?

Suddenly, the Lion Queen rolled into my path. I almost bashed her with the staff but I halted myself. Guess I had deduced correctly since she was writhing on the ground with one paw groping her breast and the other fondling her cunt. Oh man, even with the claws?

They can’t be doing what I think they’re doing, are they? Then I saw two of the red lizards on the ground, following their leader’s example. Their tails blazed even brighter than before, lighting up the fog as their cries of ecstasy filled the room as much as the smoke.

Yep, they were. Just when I regain some of my sanity, there’s something else…

I figured it must have been this orange crap that I brilliantly albeit inadvertently used as my ace in the hole. Maybe this orange drug is what Sally had for lunch; orgasm vapor. Move over nicotine, because we got something even more addicting. Break out the video camera and BAM, we invented the porn industry in this world.

Under normal circumstances, I might have grabbed some popcorn and enjoyed the show but then I noticed the strangest thing of all. This drug wasn’t having the same titillating effects on me. I may have coughed a bit from a tiny tingly feeling in my throat, but I was still limp and dry in the pants. Hell, I didn’t even feel the urge to drop my pants and rub a couple ones out myself. Okay, seeing these girls in person may have pumped a little blood down between my legs but I wasn’t feeling an overbearing urge to do the ‘manual override’. And given the display before me, it wouldn’t have been hard to do. So why didn’t it work on me? I did feel a little jealous that I got left out of all the fun, but that wasn’t important right now. This “diversion” left them helpless and gave me a chance to escape. Boner or no boner, I had to go, not cum. Pardon the shitty pun.

No reason to keep this stupid staff now. If I had any style to my attire, this thing would ruin it.

I carefully stepped over the increasingly messy scene and bolted out the door. Fortunately, I didn’t see any other potential threats outside so I quickly ran over to the cart I saw earlier. My hunch was right; this was where all of our confiscated goods were, including my armor and equipment. Lost and now found. Even better was that the horse was still latched to the cart, completing my escape plan. Just for a little extra spice, I went to the other horses’ asses and gave them a smack, causing the paddy wagon to take off. I didn’t want to chance a Western style chase as I took off in the cart. Extra credit for me.

Fortunately, the only path out of there eventually took me past the location where the portal had spat me out. As I soon discovered, I wasn’t the only thing that came out of that portal. There were crates, containers, boxes, and all kinds of loot laying about. Ever the opportunist, I packed just about everything onto my newly acquired cart and road off into the sunset.

Fuck, my head hurt. I just wanted to go freeze my head into an icicle before it explodes.

Now that I got a taste of what kind of a world I was in, my imagination was salivating at the obvious possibilities. However, my natural pessimism was screaming that something was up. It didn’t seem wise to trust anyone, no matter how smothering they may be. So just keep my Long Dong Silver in check until I knew what was going on.

Besides that, something else was nagging at me. My inner voice and I didn’t always see things eye to eye, but I’ve never agreed with it more than now. It told me that I wasn’t only going to need all the luck I could get to survive, but also to figure out a way to return home. However, my past experiences with Lady Luck have not been heartwarming. Bitch.

It was obvious to me that I had a big journey in front of me.

In retrospect, if only I knew just how crazy of an odyssey this new world would take me on. Anxiety, road trips, paranoia, parties, chaos, guns, war, pain, mindfucks, madness, seductresses, plenty of sexual harassment, and many more stories to tell.

Regardless, my life would never be the same again.

11 votes, average: 4.09 out of 511 votes, average: 4.09 out of 511 votes, average: 4.09 out of 511 votes, average: 4.09 out of 511 votes, average: 4.09 out of 5 (11 votes, average: 4.09 out of 5)
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5 thoughts on “Wormhole Ch.1 (Updated)

  1. The update seems more reined-in. Seems like slightly less dialogue and fewer quips, but I think that’s good for a first chapter.

    I want to get into this world, can’t wait.

    I laughed again at the Megan Fox bit.

  2. Finally got around to doing this, I bought Ghost of Tsushima recently so I was understandably distracted. Anyway for this chapter, it was a rocky start to be honest. I know the story doesn’t get into its own stride until later but as for this first chapter I could not help but see parallels to Bonodono’s story. You have somehow made your MC’s ‘rants’ even more over the top than Donnie’s and I don’t know if I should groan or chuckle when he get’s into it.

    I think this is where your story suffers though, with how you utilize your inspiration from from Connecticut Yankee here. Not in your character mind you but in how the Mamono react to him. I don’t think your MC’s rant should have had that kind of reaction from these Mamonos, especially the Salamander. It worked for Donnie and his Cheshire waifu because Wonderland and all its people have a skewed perception of sanity, to them strange and crazy is sexy and trust me any other person would think your character is crazy with that rant.

    Maybe if you didn’t use a Salamander I would have believed it. In case you were unaware Salamanders and Lizardmen are only attracted to warrior men. They fight them and if they lose they literally follow them to the ends of the world to be with them. The only way I could see a Salamander assaulting him without a literal fight is if there was some addictive quality to his spirit energy similar to an aphrodisiac.

    Also I felt the consideration for your MC to be given this Negotiator position was bit too easy. He himself said he wasn’t a handsome man and that rant would not exactly paint him as a lyrical poet (even if they did udnerstand it) so I see no reason why he was considered. I only say this because that rant seemed to seal the deal for the Griffon’s decision rather than the invasive inspection.

    This is more my personal opinion but I feel there is a lack of scope for your story. Unless this is taking place during the early reign of the Maou I doubt the leader of a globe spanning empire who also has god-like power and status amongst her people will actually take the time to meet with random humans to personally test them to be her official ‘Negotiators.’

    This seems like the kind of work she would delegate to one of her subordinates or one of her many, many daughters. Instead of Maou you should have just given out a random name to be assigned a role at a later date while you figured stuff out.

    In the end I know these things don’t really matter because the story will be far removed from them in the future but in my opinion things like this helps to flesh out your story and makes you a better writer. The devil is in the details and all that.

    I give this chapter a 3/5

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