Cut and Run Ch. 1 Retcon 2 of 5

Cut and Run Chapter 1 Retcon Part 2 of 5


‘Oh crap!’ I thought silently, ‘I think that you do lady. Cause I REALLY need to take a whiz!’ I whined.


I had to admit that this had been one helluva strange day. Little did I know that it was about to get even stranger.

“Do you have a name?” I called down to her after a long while. I waited for an answer and nothing came.

 Getting frustrated I then began trying to wiggle myself around a bit, in an effort to find a position that wouldn’t put so much pressure on my bladder. If I couldn’t manage it, things were bound to get messy in more ways than one.

“Don’t bother trying to struggle, it won’t don’t you any good,” Elphaba’s-sister finally growled up from below me, “those restraints were designed with Mamono in mind.”

‘What the fuck is a Mamono?’ I silently wanted to ask, but refrained.

I tried wiggling anyways just to see if it would do me any good.  After a few minutes, I gave up, leaving me panting with exhaustion. I heard the Deputy chuckle evilly when I stopped.

What with all of the free time on my hands, I just decided to,…hang out….(HAR!) and come up with a strategy of what I could do if I got myself free. I may not know where we were going, but I knew that we were going AWAY from my intended final destination.

Brooding over the circumstances, I felt my fury fester.

‘What the fuck!’ I thought, as I brooded over my circumstances. ‘Why such an overkill response? Why didn’t they just slam my ass into the local hoosegow?’ Along with the growing pressure of my bladder, I could feel all of my anger and resentment turn into a knot in the core of my being.

That knot felt weird, yet it also felt somewhat familiar as well. Since it gave me something to distract myself, I began to examine it from all sides. Eventually, I got the notion that it was a ‘Disturbance in the Force’ kind of thingy. One that I could manipulate to my advantage, somehow. Following that notion, I began concentrating on the memory of my trusty multipurpose tool.

‘Damn! I could really use my Leatherman right about now.’ I sent out. After a few seconds, I felt a grin of satisfaction spread across my face, as I felt an answering ‘ping’ from somewhere below me.

That was the point when it all began to come together. “It” being what I would later refer to as my Mojo.

Riding the success of that echo, I began to concentrate harder on the memory of it in my hands, its weight, the coolness of it against my skin. Along with the efforts I had devoted to keeping it sharp and rust free.

After a few seconds had passed, the ping came again, stronger. I suddenly became aware of its location in my mind’s eye: It was sitting in a pocket of my nearby backpack.

‘Excellent.’ Then- I called out. ‘I need you.’ I thought.

Then what happened next- made me catch my breath in surprise.

It answered me.

Not with a thought, but I got a sensation of it giving me a nod of acknowledgement. That it would be there for me, somehow.

Humbled by that ‘success’ I tried a different feat.

I concentrated about the bindings on me, and tried to get them to loosen.

They did eventually, but only a bit. The effort of all that left me exhausted. I soon fell asleep.

When I came to, it was later. My bladder? Nigh full to bursting. I tried to look down to see if Meanie Greenie was still there.

She was. Then I realized that during my sleep. I’d somehow managed to turn most of my body around in the restraints. I was now facing down at her. I grinned.

“Hey Deputy, would mind letting me go?” I called out, “I really need to ‘shake the weasel,…URKKK!” I gagged.

I went urkkkk, because that was when she looked up, saw me and jumped up with her right fist to grab ahold of my jaw.

“How in the Fuck,…?!” she screeched, her teeth flashing. She gave me the once over. “How did you manage to turn over?” she cried in dismay.

“Mmrprhkk.” I replied as best I could. Our eyes met as her eyes caught mine.

“Mmmruruk” I continued as she leaned forward until we were nose to nose. She sneered up at me for a second and then finally she loosened her grip on my face.

“Blah!” I almost gagged, sticking my tongue out in reaction.

“Deputy, I REALLY need to come down and ‘shake the weasel’, if you catch my drift.” I began.

“You’re staying up there for as long as necessary, Bub!” she grimaced as she shifted her grip to grab ahold of my shoulder and squeezed. I flinched back as pain shot through me.

‘Ah the hell with it!’ I thought, ‘It’s time to use the magic word.’ I decided.

“Hey ASSHOLE!” I began, “You don’t get it! I REALLY NEED,…” I tried to continue, but that was when she stepped forward and punched me upwards into my stomach.

As painful as it was for me, it was not a wise move on her part. I involuntarily curled up as much as I could manage. Which put even more pressure on my bladder.

It was far too much for my control.

Even though I was wearing pants, I was so full of piss and vinegar, that I let fly hard enough to turn me into a miniature showerhead.

She recoiled at the sudden wetness, and was confused at first. I could see her eyes widen when she realized what the situation was. She let off a deafening howl of outrage so loud, I couldn’t hear the sound of the train tracks for several seconds.

She jumped back and reached out for something unseen, and then yanked at it hard. Immediately, I felt every one of my restraints loosen in a row like a zipper coming undone.

Remember, that I was roughly above this real tall Ogre, including her horns. So yeah, I was high up.

Suddenly I saw the floor rushing up to meet me, and I impacted with it hard. I tried to block my fall with my hands. But they were all loose and soggy due to my being tied up for several hours.

“Oooof!” I said painfully.

Stars flashed in my eyes, when I tried to push myself to my hands and knees. Luckily, the deputy’s outfit had sopped up most of my piss, so I didn’t land in a puddle. Not that that did me any good.

After I landed, she grabbed me by the scruff of my neck, and proceeded to give me what my Old Man would’ve referred to as, a ‘Wall-to-Wall counseling’. Several wooden crates and boxes splintered and shattered noisily under my impelled weight for the next few seconds

After a few hours, but was probably only about a minute, she stopped and threw me down to the floor. With a muffled groan, I twisted and looked up at her.

“You fucking,….fucking,…” she sputtered in frustration as she glared fiercely down at me. I tried to raise my hands, but that was when she put her foot squarely onto my chest, and pushed me down to the floor.

It hurt. It also made it incredibly difficult to breathe. But I did manage to croak out something.

“I tried,” (Gasp!). “To tell!” I went again, but couldn’t go further as I started to get tunnel vision.

Suddenly, she lifted her foot off me. Automatically I took in a deep refreshing breath. After several more wheezing ones, I opened my eyes and saw that she was staring down at me with her arms at her sides, the clawed fingers of her hands twitching.

“Yes, you did.” She admitted with a glower. “Get up!” she hissed. I hesitated and looked around myself to get my bearings.

‘Damn!’ I thought, ‘she must’ve been royally pissed off, and on.’ I smirked inwardly as I noticed then that all of the boxes inside the baggage car had gotten very messy.

The lone chair was overturned and stuff was lying all over the place. As I placed a hand out to stabilize myself, I felt something almost jerk itself into place underneath my palm. As I shakily got myself up off the floor, I managed to stick it into a pocket without her seeing it.

Once I managed to stand up, she grabbed ahold of one of my shoulders and shoved me. I stumbled.

“Off to the restroom with you, asshole!” she started. I swirled myself back around to face her with anger in my eyes. I lifted my fists and she just smiled back.

“Go for it Jerkwad.” She grinned. “I’ll be more than happy to slap you into the next year.” She continued as she cracked her knuckles in preparation. 

Not yet.’ I admonished myself. I realized that I was still a bit wobbly and thus not fully in control. So, I dropped my eyes first.

“Go clean up!” she chuckled in triumph. “First door on your right, and don’t take too long!’ she shouted over the sound of the train tracks clicking underneath the carriage. She then looked down at herself and spat, “I’ll need to clean up too.”

When I had closed and locked the restroom door, the first thing I did was to reach into my pocket and find out what had come to me.

I felt a smile form on my face when I saw that it was my Leatherman. It felt so good in my hand.

‘Now, I can do some shit!’ I thought as I looked around, took stock of everything inside there, and then came up with a plan.

I deliberately took my sweet ass time rinsing and drying. Mostly because I was being an ornery cuss, but also because I was trying to loosen up my muscles.

I was determined to have it out with that Savage She-Hulk right soon.

After enduring several times of her pounding on the door and screaming at me to hurry up, I opened it swiftly and stepped out.

I was as ready for her as I was going to be.

Her first mistake? Grabbing my wrist.


Because that’s a dangerous thing to do, with someone who’s been trained in Aikido, like I have.

I reacted instantly. I dove my hand underneath hers and then, using the cutting edge of my palm- pushed down on her wrist. I then used my other hand to pin her fingers against my forearm.

“Katatedori” I remember it being called: Wrist grab.

It may sound simple. But it’s not, what it did do is give me some measure of control over that sadistic bitch. For a few seconds at best.

A few seconds was all I needed.

I felt a thrill of joy fly through me when I witnessed her look of utter surprise. That surprise evaporated when I twisted her arm a little bit, and then the pain shot up her arm.

“AAAH!” she breathed, her eyes going all wild eyed. She immediately went down to one knee and slammed the floor with her other hand. I let up slightly on the pressure in response.

“You fucking…!” she began as she started to rise, and I applied some more pressure on her wrist again. She gave off a quiet scream and went down once more.

We went like that a couple more times, until I felt I had gauged her reactions just right.

I let go ‘just enough’. Then, as she came up with a fist directed at my head, I shifted my hold into an ‘Ikkyo Omote’ (shove her elbow into her face) and I managed to push/shove her into a ‘mae ukemi’ (forward roll) straight into the restroom.

She set off a major clatter when she impacted the toilet with her face. My next move was to slam shut the door behind her. Which normally would’ve been problematic for me, as she could’ve simply ripped it open in a flash.

That’s where my Leatherman proved its usefulness. After combining several unscrewed metal parts from inside, I managed to craft a ‘MacGyver’ style door-jamb-lock.

This resulted in a door that wasn’t going to be opening anytime soon, without the benefit of a sledgehammer.

I ignored the following pounding and cursing that came through the door, as I began searching the interior of the carriage car for the next phase of my plan. I found it rather quickly- the access panel to the emergency brake.

As soon as I opened the aluminum door, an overhead alarm went off. I ignored it as I all but yanked that activating handle off.

The effect was immediate.

The train’s deceleration forced me, and everything else in that carriage, to the front.

I also heard the satisfying sound of something big, crunching against the restroom mirror. The green bitch’s screeching went quiet at that point. Thankfully.

At that, I retrieved my backpack, found my way out of the carriage. Then jumped to the ground. I stumbled a bit, trying not to slide down the track’s rock ballast. I then started hoofing it towards the ass end of the train.

Once I got there, I stopped and got my bearings as I shouldered my backpack on.

“What! The! Fuck!” I exclaimed aloud, as I looked wildly all around me. “You have got to be shitting me!” I shouted.

I recognized where I was. In the middle of the fucking Nevada desert country!

This meant that I was now, way too many fucking miles east of California! There was nothing around me but some brown grass next to the tracks, and a crap-ton of scrublands as far as my eyes could see in every direction.

Well, there was nothing for it, I immediately started hoofing it parts west. I did my best to keep from stumbling on the railroad ties as I went.

I didn’t get far I’m afraid. Almost immediately I heard someone’s feet pounding on the ties behind me. A quick look confirmed my fear. It was the Big Green Deputy!

‘Fuck this shit!’ I decided, so instead of trying to make a run for it, I came to a stop and shed my pack.

As she came closer, I caught my breath and lowered myself into a Hanmi stance, I prepared to ‘empty myself’ as my Sensei had taught me long ago. She saw me doing that and slowed herself down considerably.

‘Ready.’ I thought, and I was. I wasn’t going to let this asshole take me so easily this time.

She came within arm’s reach and we just stood and glowered at each other. Her frown deepened, and I matched her. A timeless moment passed.

She started by lifting her right arm. I reacted by getting ready to receive it.

She quickly managed to get her hand attached to my shoulder. To do…what? I didn’t know, nor did I care.

 I turned into it. I put my left hand’s palm edge against her fist, and shot my right palm into her face. She flinched, and loosened her grip on my shoulder for a second.

With my palm still in her face, I ducked underneath her right arm and put my back to her front, all while grabbing her right hand with my left.

I slapped my right hand to hers, encircled it, and then I managed to get it twisted ‘just so’ into what is called a ‘Sankyo Grip’. I then lifted her arm up in front of my center.

I almost smiled as I saw her begin to do the Sankyo Grip dance

To my shock, she did something I’d not expected.

She did what we in Aikido call- A Reversal technique. She twisted herself, dove in under her own arm, and somehow managed to get me into a Sankyo Grip. Before I could process that …

Well, a short story made even shorter, we managed to spar with each other for the better part of a minute. I got her to shout out painfully a few times, and she managed to get me to do the same a couple more.

Yeah, just about a minute. Don’t believe the hype, real fights don’t last long.

But in the end, she got me.

The bitch cheated. She grabbed some dirt and threw it into my eyes. It stung and distracted me just enough. Then she clobbered me into unconsciousness.


I slowly came to and I tried to get my bearings. It was later, much later.

We were back in the train in the baggage car. I felt the carriage jerk as we got started moving. Looking down, I saw that I was in her chair and the Deputy was tying me up with rope.

My knees were tied together with a couple loops of rope. Another loop crossed those loops perpendicularly.

I tried moving my knees, but all I came up with were spades.

Without saying a word, she settled herself down onto my thighs and glared at me, our chests almost touching.

I grunted as our eyes met. After a second of staring at each other she began to speak.

“You fought well.” She grudgingly admitted. Then she gave me a smirk.

“If I didn’t already have someone lined up at home, I’d almost consider taking you for a mate.” She half-grinned, I sneered back. Which just made her smile fully.

“Now, you WILL be going to the Detention facility, one way or another.” She huffed, emphasizing every word.

“What condition you’ll be in by the time you arrive, is up to you.” She informed me, tapping me on the chest with one of her long-nailed fingers.

She stood up, and grabbed another roll of rope. She held it up in front of me.

“In respect to your fighting skills,’ she began, “I’ll give you a choice.” She paused. I just glowered at her back in silence.

“You can choose to have your hands tied in front of you. Or,…” She continued, “You can have them tied behind your back so tight, that your arms rip out of their sockets.” She finished and grinned evilly at me. I stared back at her for a second.

‘She’s not kidding.’ I realized. I swallowed.

“Front.” I sighed.

“Give me your word that you’ll behave and I’ll make sure you’re fed, watered, and allowed bathroom privileges.” She stated, her voice sickeningly sweet. I resisted the urge to make some gagging noises.

“If you try to escape again. I won’t care what bonus I end up losing; inflicting some permanent damage on your hide.” She warned.

“Understood?” She demanded, looking at me sternly.

After another second, I sighed again and nodded my head.

“Yes Deputy.” I replied, feeling utterly defeated.


“This is what is called, ‘Shibari’, she said as she continued tying after she had me stand up.

“It’s a traditional rope binding technique that’s been passed down to me from my ancestors in Zipangu.” She recited as she put me into something she called ‘A rope dress.’

“It’s for safety’s sake’ she explained, glancing at me every now and again

“But I gave you my word.” I began, but she cut me off.

“Your safety! Not mine.” She barked. “If any of the Mamono on this train saw you unencumbered, they’d seek to subdue you by any means necessary.” She saw my puzzled look and took mercy on me.

“Obviously you have no idea what Mamono are. Why? I don’t know. It is what we call ourselves. What every single non-human female is now; A Mamono. Your people used to call us Monsters, Monster-Girls to be precise.”

“Huh?” I answered. She smirked as she continued.

“It’s a long story, but you’ll learn all about it when we get to our destination.” She said as she finished tying my arms and hands in front of me.

Testing the bonds, I could tell that even though I’d not have to worry about getting my circulation cut off, I’d not be able to do much other than the basics, like scratching my nose. All in all, I had to admit that it was far cry better than being handcuffed. Of which I’ve had plenty of experience with.

She then had the audacity to put a leash on me! I expressed my displeasure at that humiliation.

“The leash is for your protection. This is an express train that will be traveling overnight on a full moon.” She stated as if that explained everything. I sighed and rolled my eyes in response.

Just before we exited the baggage car, she leaned over and gave me some advice.

“Whatever you do, do not initiate or maintain any eye contact with a Mamono. Also, don’t answer any questions they may ask you. That’s because from a legal standpoint, it is considered consent to some.”

 “Consent for what?” I asked, trying not to sweat. She just grinned at me again. Then she led me out to the passenger car. The best I could do then was hobble as my knees were tied tight together.

Oh, the spike of fear that shot through me when we stepped into the passenger car.  I gawked when I saw that it was nearly full of Half Girls and half,… other things,,, all over the place!

Every single pair of Monster eyes there shot over and latched onto me. I remembered the Deputy’s advice and immediately dropped my eyes to the floor. Thus, I didn’t get much of a good look at them all. What I did manage scared the fuck out of me.

‘Predators’, I reckoned, trying not to sweat. ‘Every last one of them.’ I gulped and then moved forward down the aisle after a nudge from the Deputy. We eventually got to a pair of unoccupied seats, and I got the one by the window. Lucky me.

My eyes went wide when I realized that damned near every single one of those monsters- was also a smoking-hot babe!

‘Fuck!’ I gasped, ‘What is this? An Addams Family Reunion at the Playboy Mansion?’ I wondered.

At first the car was silent. But within a few seconds, conversations started up. I couldn’t understand most of the languages spoken, but I got the distinct sense that I was the sole subject matter being discussed.

An hour later, I found out what the Deputy had meant about the moon, when the sun set behind the horizon.

When it did, I could feel the tension in the air rise considerably. The air that had been already so full of myriad musky scents, heightened almost to the point that I found it difficult to breathe.

I kept glancing at the walkway. After a bit, I noticed that the uhhh,… pardon the term,.. ‘foot’-traffic increased dramatically by us. Surprisingly few of them actually had feet.

Hooves, snake tails, tentacles, and assorted sundry appendages, kept coming by and lingering by us for far too long. Most of them tried to get the Deputy to engage in conversation, but she cut them all off with a curt word or two.

A couple of times I felt a tentacle or a snake tail curve around my feet from behind. A well-placed stomp from the Deputy cured that right quick!

Finally, I got tired of the silence and piped up.

“Deputy?” I began, she stopped reading a magazine and gave me a mild sneer. I took that as permission.

“Do you have a name?” I asked, exasperated. She frowned at me.

“My friends call me, ‘Shoten-Doji’,”. She sniffed back.

“Shoten,…?” I began.

“You can call me Deputy Doji.” She cut me off. She then stomped on an errant tail tip that had started stroking my leg. Again. I heard a squeak come from behind my seat as it retracted.

‘Why didn’t we stay in the baggage car?” I asked her at one point. “We were alone there.”

“No, we weren’t.” she chuckled. “There are nocturnal Mamono there who prefer to ride in storage. Once they awoke, they would’ve driven you insane if you’d caught sight of them.” I blinked as I thought about it, gulped once, and settled down.

A little while later a thought occurred to me.

“Deputy Doji?” I began again. The Greenie-Meanie huffed and rolled her eyes, but eventually she settled down and looked at me.

“Yes?” she grunted, mildly pissed.

“Where am I going?” I asked, puzzled. She just looked at me with a questioning look.

“Look, I don’t know you from boo. But why aren’t I freezing my ass off in that town’s hoosegow?”  I asked. She gave me a wide grin.

“Because there’s a Bounty set down from the M.B.I. for your kind.” She smiled.

“My kind?” I asked, wondering what the M.B.I. was.

“Rogue-males. Those who have somehow managed to remain uncaptured for too long.’

“Uncaptured? Uncaptured by whom?”

“Mamono.” She replied. I cocked my head behind us in several directions. She grinned again and nodded.

“Fuck.” I huffed. “But why?”

“Mamono want,, NEED men. You’ll find out what for, once we get to our destination.” She replied with a shit eating grin. I refrained from asking any more questions- it was just too much to take in!

As the night passed, I looked out at the landscape passing outside and got moody.

‘Further and further away,” I frowned, ‘will I ever get back to my ultimate goal?’ I mused. A few times during the night, when I looked out the window, I thought I saw someone, or more likely some-thing, flying parallel with the train at my position. I got the sense that they were trying to get my attention.

I refused to give it, as not all of them had wings.

I didn’t get too much sleep that night.


Around midnight we had passed through Utah into Colorado. To be more accurate, the Rockies. I heaved out a big sigh at the sight of the mountains under the full moon, as we passed out of the tunnel under the Continental Divide.

“What?” the Deputy asked.

“I remember hiking here a long time ago.” I explained with a thoughtful frown. She looked up at where I was looking and stared at it for a bit.

“Who knows,” she began after a second or two. “Maybe the Mamono who claims you, will also like to hike.” She stated. Which caught me off guard. She seemed almost amicable at that point.

I opened my mouth to reply, but then I shut it. I didn’t want to tell her what the real reason for my sigh was. I had actually felt another ‘call of the void’ reaching out to me. It felt stronger this time.

I kept my mouth shut until we came to Denver’s Union Station, just before daybreak. It turned out that the connecting bus was going to be late, so we had to cool our heels for a couple of hours in the Terminal Bar area.

She kept her word. I got to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up a bit better. We both ended up eating breakfast at a joint called the Snooze an A.M. eatery. She helped herself to a big dish of bacon and a couple of cans of something called Lich’s Root Beer.

For some reason she kept making a sour face every time I ate from my stomach settling plate of rice and tofu.

While eating, I was able to catch a gander at the restaurant’s TV-set. Naturally, it was set to Fox News. For some unknown reason, the local one was named Fux News.

The news anchor was, of course, a bleach-blonde. But that was where the resemblance ended, as this buxom beauty must’ve overslept in a tanning bed until her skin turned a bluish-grey.

‘Damn! Her eyes are royally bloodshot!’ I thought, not understanding then.

As before I did my best to avoid making any eye contact with anyone, so I didn’t manage to really see what was all around me. Though the couple of times I did, I observed a couple of other dudes being led around on leashes too.

I turned my attention back to the tube, and noticed that a porno had started up.

‘Strange.’ I thought as I looked around. ‘No one’s noticing it.’ I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch the red-headed star going at it like a pro. ‘Well now!’ I exclaimed happily. ‘She sure likes to have her pigtails pulled.’ I grinned.

Then my world fell out from underneath me, when a certain hamburger chain logo appeared on the screen at the end. I was left with my face frozen, as my mind hung up for several seconds. Until finally.

‘Wendy’s?!!’ I gawked, not comprehending at first. Then I thought, ‘Hot and Juicy indeed!’ I wondered. ‘Dave Thomas, you old pervert!’ I chuckled.

After breakfast, I managed to score a copy of a free weekly paper called- the Westword. I started reading it after we continued our journey on the bus going south.

I read about many things, including the usual claptrap one finds in a weekly. I skimmed the local opinion pieces, news articles, sports stats, and crap like that. But you know what really left me reeling in shock?

The advertisements. Anybody can make an opinion piece about- well anything. But advertisements cost money. So just about every corporation gets their panties into a knot if someone parodies their product.

Thus- what I saw knocked me for a loop.

The first one that caught my eye? Starbucks. Only someone had misspelled it into: Starfucks.  The logo was still a mermaid, but she appeared to be doing something obscene with a dude pinned underneath her. I let my eyes slide away from that.

Then there was Five Gals Hamburgers. They were rather graphic about what those five girls were willing to do for a customer. I stared at the menu’s sliding scale of prices for options.

“How salty are those fries?” I wondered, with one eyebrow raised.

That’s when it all finally sunk in.

“Fuck.” I gasped quietly, as I slipped into shock. I snuck a look at the Deputy over in the seat next to me and noticed that she’d fallen asleep.

For a second, I thought about trying to make another escape attempt.

But I realized that I couldn’t, I couldn’t for two reasons.

One, I had given her my word not to, and Two, there was nowhere for me to flee to. Up until then I has assumed that I had come down from the mountains into the equivalent of the TV series- the Prisoner.

That I’d somehow stumbled across an invasion force who had infiltrated that one town. An invasion that I could have escaped from given half a chance.

‘Holy Fuck!’ I thought, as my heart began beating fiercely in my chest. I leaned back into my chair and started humming to myself the song ‘Hotel California’ by the Eagles, to try to calm myself down.

‘It’s not just that one town in California! It’s the entire fucking world!’ I realized, feeling myself start to shiver.

I looked out of the window of the bus and saw Pike’s Peak slowly pass by. I knew that if I wanted some measure of control over my fate, I’d have to find out what the rules here were.

‘I will not allow myself to be taken by any of these monster,…’Mamono’, I corrected myself, ‘I will find a way back to the place I was before.’ I vowed.

Just for a second, I felt my mojo flex with agreement.


A few more hours later and we arrived. I caught sight of the places’ name as we entered the fenced off area.

It was the “Private Reformatory for Extremely Curious & Unusual Males”. It being located in Cimarron county, just outside the westernmost tip of the Oklahoma Panhandle.

The sign even had a nifty catchphrase: “Where all your problems are licked away.”

I facepalmed once I finally got the joke.


After Deputy Doji untied me, she left me inside a large drab interrogation room which held nothing more than a table and two chairs.

Since I was free to move, I decided to walk around that room to restore some blood flow. I must’ve completed a circle about five hundred times, it took so long before anyone showed up.

Pink paint was the standard color of the room’s interior, but a quick knock on the walls told me that they were made of solid steel. Thick steel.

Occasionally I checked to see if I’d worn a groove in the tiled floor yet.

The only adornment was a sizable one-way mirror set on the right as you entered.

My backpack with my precious cargo? Nowhere in sight.

As I walked, I tried not to smile at the thought of the unseen bulge in my pants.

No! Not that kind of bulge! The bulge caused by my Leatherman! Somehow, Deputy Green-jeans had never located it.

Well anyways, my head shot up at the sound of the sole door opening. In walked in what appeared to be a stern looking woman, snappily dressed in an Air Force type uniform/blouse, not in blue but black.

It took me a second to notice that she had a pair of cow horns jutting straight out of the sides of her head. I gave her the once over again to cover my shock at her appearance

She was a tall one, towering over me by about half a foot. She had a shock of platinum-blonde hair that cascaded down her head.

I then saw a set of BCG-glasses peeking out from underneath a level set of bangs. Those glass lenses didn’t hide her red colored irises. I decided that her lips looked in need of a kiss; seeing that they were pressed firmly together in a neutral line.

She also had the biggest set of knockers on a woman I’d not seen in a dog’s age! Holy Shit! It took every ounce of control to keep myself from slavering over them.

Continuing down past her chest, she carried a leather satchel under one arm, and a surprisingly slim waistline. I started a bit when I saw that her uniform end mid-thigh. Those thighs appeared covered by white fur. All of it well-coiffed with every strand exactly where it needed to be.

Did I mention that she had big tits?

I heard the sound of hooves clopping on the floor as she approached me. With every step, her alabasterine tail swept to each side. She kept her eyes focused on me as she came near. Instinctively, I came to attention and waited for her to do or say something.

She came to the table and stopped. She didn’t say anything at first, yet those eyes of hers continued to study me with a precision I’d not seen in some time. Not a cold clinical one, there was a measure of warmth in those eyes. A few seconds later she spoke.

“Take a seat please.” She stated in a clear and concise voice. Automatically I nodded, and sat down, keeping the table between us. She in turn placed her satchel on the table in front of me, swished her tail once and then sat herself down onto the remaining chair.

She then put her elbows onto the table and cupped her lower face in her hands, her fingers steepled in front of her mouth. I stayed where I was, not moving. For several more seconds we remained like that. She continued to study me and I continued to stare impassively back.

Finally, she gave off a small sigh, leaned back and took some papers and folders out of her satchel. Situating herself, she crossed one fur-covered leg over another and propped a pad of paper onto one thigh. She pulled out a mechanical pencil and began to jot something down.

“Allen Belushi.” She began quietly, while giving me a quick glance over the top of her notepad.

 “Who’s asking?” I shot back. She paused to give me an annoyed look.

“The authorities are.” She replied. “You are Allen Belushi, yes? Formerly of Merced California?” She continued, with one eyebrow raised questioningly.

“I am. What’s your name sweetie?” I smiled back, determined to unsettle her. She gave me a brief smile.

“My name is Marsha LeBlanc. But you may refer to me as, Director.

“Where have you been?” she said evenly.

“Beg pardon?” I replied, puzzled. I hadn’t expected that. She then reached out, grabbed a folder and flipped through it.

“According to your Probation Officer, you missed your last reporting date.”

“Ah yeah, that.” I replied, blinking my eyes and looking away.

‘Damn!’ I thought, flummoxed.

 “And according to one of your relatives,” she continued, “You ‘dropped off the face of the earth’,…nine months ago.”

I grunted noncommittally, not meeting her gaze. ‘Sounds like Mom.’ I grimaced guiltily at what she must’ve been going through. ‘Crap.’

“Where have you been, Mr Belushi?” she asked me again.

“Ahem,” I began, “I went for a walk.” I joked. She didn’t smile. She just continued to gaze stolidly at me with her ruby colored eyes. They narrowed for a second.

“You are an anomaly, Mr. Belushi.”

“I like to stand out.” I quipped. She ignored it.

“The authorities here don’t care for anomalies. Particularly male anomalies. Mr. Belushi you are,…” she began, but I interrupted.

“Hold it,” I said, “if we’re going to be having such a personal conversation, please call me Allen.” I said, attempting to stall. Just to be a pill.

“How am I an anomaly?” I smirked, trying to put her on the defensive. She frowned for a second and silently looked back at me for a moment too long.

“Very well then, Allen,” she emphasized, “You are an anomaly because you’ve been missing for the better part of a year. Many of your erstwhile friends and associates, have assumed that you died in that time.” She paused.

“Then two days ago, you show up in a Northern California town very much alive.” She stated as she finally took her gaze from my face and gave me the once over.

“So what?” I sneered, “Lots of people have gone missing before and turned up alive later.” I shot back, lifting my chin up to her in defiance.

“True, but what has our attention is the fact that you’ve managed to remain single for all that,…”

“NO!” I shouted, banging a fist onto the table. Which made her flinch, and she moved herself back away from me slightly. “I’m a married man!”

“Then where is your mate?” She asked me pointedly. I held her gaze for a second. Then I closed my eyes. I sighed raggedly.

“She’s dead, I’ve been in mourning.” I whispered in defeat.

“You’ve been a widower for over a year now. How have you avoided being Taken in all that time?” she said. I felt my brows draw together

“What do you mean: Taken?” I asked, unsure of what she meant.

“Taken.” She paused, saying it as if that explained everything. I shook my head. She gave me a suspicious frown, but she continued. “Taken by a Mamono.”

“I’m not familiar with that.” I replied, her eyes widened in shock.

“How can you not know that?!” she asked me archly. I heaved a big sigh.

‘Time to lay all my cards on the table.’ I thought to myself as I heaved a big sigh.

“I don’t know what a ‘Mamono’ is. I don’t know what ‘Being Taken by a Mamono’ means. In fact up until yesterday, I’d not even encountered Mamono before!” I shot back, shaking my head in bewilderment.

“How can you not? You’ve lived and worked alongside Mamono for all of your life!” she said, her voice rising an octave.

“I don’t remember any of that!” I shot back in frustration. “All I do know, is my waking up after a weird night and finding myself in a world filled with sexy looking monsters!” She gave me a severe frown and began looking through another folder.

“Allen Belushi,” she began as she read, “Graduated Merced High School 20XX?” she asked, I nodded. She then rattled off my California Driver’s License and then my Social Security number. She then paused and gave me a questioning look. I nodded once more. She continued.

“You ran a building company for several years;’ Belushi Builders’ by name, of which you’ve been documented as having built many houses for Mam,….”

“Homes!” I interrupted her, fire in my eyes. She looked at me quizzically. “Homes, not houses.” I explained. “There’s a difference.” She shook her head.

“House is a general term, they’re all just the same thing with just a slight variation in appearance. ‘Cookie-Cutters’ as we in the trade call them.”

“Now Homes!” I smiled in pride, “Are a different matter. They’re distinctive, custom made to fit the needs and wants of the buyer. Often, they don’t know what it is they need. But every time I’ve built a home at odds with what they’ve ordered, they’ve always thanked me for it.” I finished. My chest swollen with pride.

The Director thought about it for a second, looked over at me an appraising glance, and then she smiled warmly for the first time. It was just a little one.

“Indeed.” She replied quietly, then she pursed her lips in distaste.

“Then is the matter of your wife.” She continued. I jerked in shock, jumped to my feet and walked as far away as I could manage. I ended up facing into the corner farthest from her.

“What happened to her?” she asked me from over my shoulder. I felt my breathing increase, both in volume and frequency. I refused to answer.

“What happened to her Allen?” she asked me again quietly.

“You know what happened.” I shot back through clenched teeth, my resentment at my fate rising within me. ‘don’t do this!’ I begged silently.

“I don’t know the details. Enlighten me.” She persevered.

‘Damn you!’ I mouthed, my breathing increasing, until finally I answered.

“I killed her.” I spat. She gasped.

“NO!” I interjected, “I know what you’re going to say! I didn’t murder her! Yet I feel like I did.” I licked my lips and leaned my head against the wall. It was cold.

“What happened?” she asked me quietly.

“We argued.” I began, and then stopped. I couldn’t continue. It was getting hard to breathe.

“All couples argue.”

“We had our share, but this was the worst we’d ever had.” I paused, feeling my grief rise again, and my guilt. I breathed deeply in and out a few times.

“She left to avoid hitting me in anger. I should’ve been the one to walk away first.”


“Because she got into an accident. One caused by a texting driver.” I panted. “If I’d been the one who had left first, it might’ve been me.”

“What was the argument about?” she persisted.

“Stuff.” I replied, trying my best to evade. I felt like I was under siege.

“What kind of ‘stuff’?” she continued. I turned and glared witheringly at her. She stared back at me, implacable.

“Our daughter’s death.” I spat out acidly, my ire began to burn white hot.

“Why argue about that? Surely that would be a time for mutual consolation?” she asked.

“Because I KILLED HER!” I shouted as I punched the wall with my fist using all of my built-up fury and anger. The wall resounding with a mighty clang. “GODSDAMN IT!!!”

I felt my feet slide out from under me as I slowly slid down the wall, doing my best to keep from weeping.

“I killed our baby.” I said quietly. I stopped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was her. She was kneeling beside me, a concerned look on her face.

“Why?” She asked after a moment.

“Why did I kill her?” I asked. She nodded once. I began to recount it.

“She was born without a brain.”


“Yeah- that.” I nodded wearily.

“The only way a baby like that can survive is with machines.” She pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s not really living.”

“No. it’s not. I take it you’re the one who chose to ‘pull the plug’?”

“Yeah.” I closed my eyes, trying to exorcise those memories and failing. “But I did it without my wife’s input.”

“Ah.” She replied. After a few seconds of companionable silence, she got up and clopped over to the table, collected a few items and then spoke.

“Allen I’m going to recommend that you be released and allowed to return. Return to wherever your original intended destination may have been.”

“Really? Why?” I replied hoarsely, unsure of what all this had been about.

“Despite your apparent amnesia, I don’t feel that you’re a danger to anyone.”

“Amnesia? Danger? Didn’t I injure that Sherriff.” I admitted. The Director gave me an indulgent smile.

“Sheriff Pasiphae has already forgiven you for that. She did mention that she felt partly at fault, for not defusing the situation in a better manner.”

“Ah, Ok.” I smiled with relief. I then shakily stood up. “So, when do I go?”

“Shortly.” She nodded, “But I do have a request.”

“What’s that?”

“I’d like you to submit to a medical exam before you depart. Would you be amenable?” She paused. I was surprised.  It being so reasonable to my ears.

‘A Mamono not being pushy for once? I like the sound of that.’ She continued.

“Considering that you’ve lost a great amount of weight in the last few months, I suspect you’re severely malnourished. Which could be a contributing cause to your amnesia.”

“I suppose.” I nodded, eager to jump at any chance right then. She finished gathered her stuff and got ready to go.

“I’m also concerned about the status of your hand. You did punch that wall rather hard, just now.” She said as she existed the room, the door clicked shut behind her. Perplexed, I looked at where I’d punched the wall.

The sight of it left me gaping in surprise.

I’d done more than just cause the paint to flake. I’d managed to put a sizable dent into it. It was at least a couple of fingers in depth!

I then lifted my hand and flexed it. Normally, I should’ve been calling for a medic. My hand didn’t hurt in the least. Hell! I’d not broken the skin! Not even a bruise.

‘What the hell?’ I wondered.


Later, I was in the facility’s infirmary. There, one of the weirdest looking Mamono I’d yet seen, inspected me.

She looked kinda human, in that she had two legs, two arms, and a head. But she also had a few tentacles too. But not like octopus tentacles.

This is difficult for me to describe, because her tentacles changed in number. They seemed to form out of her, wiggle around for a while and then disappear back inside her.

I could handle all that, as she was a rather fetching looking young lady.

I didn’t mind at all the fact that she seemed to be made up almost solely of dark colored grape jelly. Nor did I mind the way little parts of her would ‘drip’ off her, fall to the floor and then rejoin.  That’s because I’d seen something like that in an old Terminator movie.

She didn’t use a blood-pressure cuff, she just twined one of her tentacles around my arm and did the usual inflate/slowly then deflate.

“Bee-pee 139 over 82; a bit elevated,” she mused while lost in thought, “pulse 85.” She turned her eyes to look at me straight.

Oh, her eyes! She had black-sclera shark eyes. I came close to losing my shit right with them that close.  I’ve never been able to look at sharks ever since I was a kid. Sheesh!

“By your rapid rise in heartbeat, it appears that I’m the source of your elevated readings.” She smiled and turned her head away, letting go.

“Uhhhmmm, yeah.” I admitted, feeling embarrassed for a second. You know, putting a lady on the spot and all. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right Mr. Belushi.” She giggled, “You’re not the first person I’ve encountered who is taken aback by a Shoggoth.”

“Uh Doc one question?” I asked. She tilted her head.

“You’re not gonna give me the,….uhhhh, you know,….’ I began. She just looked at me quizzically, unsure of what I was asking.

‘Damn this is embarrassing.’ I thought.

“Ahem!” I coughed, as I lifted one hand and pointed one finger- upwards. “Probe?” I asked. She stared at me confused for a moment. Then comprehension crossed her face. She laughed wide enough for me to see her teeth. They were white, almost too white.

“No! I don’t require that!”, she held up an undulating tentacle in front of me and wiggled it a bit.

“Not unless you want me to.” She saucily asked me.

“Nooo thank you!” I shot back. She just giggled a bit more.

“Well Mr. Belushi, you do seem to be in overall good health, despite your almost excessive weight loss.” She said cheerfully, as I kept my attention fixed on the wall.

“That’s good to hear.” Came the voice of the Director on an intercom speaker I jumped and looked around.

“Oh, there’s nothing to fear Mr. Belushi.” The Doctor said, “I’m monitored anytime I do an examination on a patient. Some of them have proven to be quite intransigent. This is a maximum-security installation after all.”

“Uh, yeah.” I replied non-committedly. “So, am I free to go?”

“May I come in?” said the Director. I looked to the Doctor and she nodded at me.

“Oh!” I realized, ‘cool.’ I thought.

“Yeah sure! Come on in.” She did, and then as she and the Doc consulted. I quickly got dressed behind a privacy alcove. I listened into the conversation as best I could.

“I see no reason why he shouldn’t be allowed freedom to return to wherever he wants.” The Doctor spoke. “I do, however, recommend that we send him home with a meal ticket or three. He is rather undernourished.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem to arrange with Sarashina.” The Director began pleasantly, then I heard the timbre of her voice change.

“Doctor? I see in your notes that Mr. Belushi has an elevated level of Mana readings?”

‘Mana readings?’ I wondered, ‘What the hell is that?’

“Yes, he does, but I doubt that it will be much of a difference long term. He’s well over the age in which males develop any of the usual signs or symptoms.” She paused, and then spoke archly. “Mr. Belushi I know you’re listening in. You can come out now.” She stated.

Looking down, I noticed that one of her tentacles had creeped around the edge of the alcove. There was a yellow eye in it looking back at me. Once we had eye contact, it winked and retracted.

“Ummm,… Mana?” I asked, prompting her, as I came out. I noticed that the Director was now looking at me coldly, staying completely silent. I didn’t give it much thought.

“Nothing to be concerned about Mr. Belushi. As I stated your levels are higher than normal. But any possible dangers related to it would’ve manifested by now. There’s no need for you to worry.” She said agreeably.

“Oh ok, ummm, am I OK to go now?” I asked, eager to be on my way. The director nodded and indicated that I should follow her. I did. I waved goodbye to the Doc and she waved a farewell tentacle back.

I was sooo glad to be away from her then! Ms. Congeniality, but damn!

After a short while of following the Director down a maze of concrete hallways, I began to get lost. She remained silent all the while, her hooves clipping a smart beat. Every step of the way she continued looking through her folder.

“Where are we going?” I asked, curious.

“I’m taking you to Receiving. There, you can pick up your belongings. After that, you’ll be escorted to the train station in Monster Girl City. It’s on the Kansas side of the border.” She replied absently, all the while reading notes.

She stopped just before a set of double-doors prominently marked: “EXIT” I was so happy to see those.

‘Soon!’ I thought eagerly, ‘Quite soon!’ I was happy to almost be on my way again. I noticed that the director walked backwards a bit, till she was holding the folder underneath a hall lamp.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked.

“Just one final question, Mr. Belushi.” She began, not looking at me.

“Shoot.” I shrugged.

“You mentioned that the night before you were arrested; there was something weird in the night sky?” she asked quietly.

“Um yeah.” I replied, trying to peek out through the exit door windows.

“Would you please elaborate?”

“Sure!” I began, “I saw an Aurora.” She tensed at the sound of that. I noticed that she had also stopped breathing. She lifted her head to look at me fully.

“An Aurora?” she asked, her face frozen.

“Uh, yeah.” I replied, puzzled.

“Northern Lights?” she asked me tensely.

“Well kinda. Instead of it starting in the north like they usually do. These seemed to start in the southwest. From the L.A. area I reckon.” I replied.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, because by then she had started backing up from me. Looking at her eyes, she seemed utterly frightened by something. What? I had no idea.

“Director?” I began, but that was when she turned fully around and began running full tilt away from me, her hooves smacking on the concrete floor in her retreat.

I was about to say something more, but that was when she hit an alarm button on a sidewall, and kept going.

Immediately I heard an ear-splitting alarm go off, and red lights started flashing all down the length of the hallway.

BZZZZT! BZZZZT! The alarms continued echoing. When they did, I heard the exit doors behind me lock shut.

As I turned to look at them, I then heard the sound of something sliding behind me.  I turned and saw that the source of that sound was a metal fire door descending from the ceiling and locking into place, cutting me off from any escape. I stared at it for a long moment as the alarms kept buzzing merrily away.

“I don’t think we’re going to be in Kansas anytime soon Toto.” I spoke to myself dryly.<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 

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