Wizardquest Part 10: The Dark Carnival

Chapter 83


The boat pulls into the small river docks at the town of Derrick soon after you make it up deck, your meagre possessions and rat familiar in hand.

The entire place is… small. The town is almost Varruck sized, but the houses are made entirely of wood with very few structures made of stone. Those kinds of buildings appear to be mostly near the docks, which appears to be the lifeblood of this town. As the ship gets moored, you take stock of the people bustling about, to and fro, jovial expressions on their face. Guess they must really like their work.

You unload from the vessel and say your goodbyes to Baha. Despite what had happened earlier, he seems to be in good spirits, though he doesn’t take the opportunity to leave the ship, wanting to head out as soon as possible. Shrugging, you head out into the town to find it rather… empty.

Unlike the docks, which still had people working, the rest of the town only has a few people excitedly moving about, as if in a hurry to get somewhere. You look to Blake and he shrugs, clearly confused as well. With nothing else for it and the sun starting to sink under the horizon, you go to find an inn to stay the night before journeying out the next morning.

“Ahh, travelers! Here for the fair?”

You look over and see a man walking down the street, carrying two children on his shoulders. Confused, you look between him and Blake again, forcing the Hero to ask, “What fair, good sir?”

He smiles and readjusts one child. “Why, the Carnival din Luna! It just arrived in town today and everyone’sexcited. No one expected one to come here of all places, but we aren’t going to miss out, are we kids?”

“No way!” They scream as he ruffles their hair. “Good travels!” He says before continuing on his way, children giggling in delight about him.

Your party exchanges glances between one another, not certain how to handle this. The only person not contemplating the words is Hala, who breaks the silence by grabbing Blake’s arm and asks with puppy-dog eyes. “That sounds really fun, oh let’s go, can we go please?”

Blake scratches his chin and is about to respond before looking to you. Eh? You’re not the damn leader of this party. Whatever, you sigh and roll your shoulders. “I don’t see why not? I mean, what else do we have to do? Just need to find an inn first, I guess.”

“Yaaaaay!” Hala exclaims, her tail wagging back and forth. She leans over to Blake and whispers, a little too loud, “Hey, what’s a fair?


You manage to find an inn easily, mostly because the town only has three, if that. Surprisingly there are rooms available, which is often not the case when fairs or festivals are occurring. The innkeeper seems sort of miffed that this one came out of nowhere too, or else he’d be fully booked. Oh well, chances are by the end of the night people from outlying farms and ships will end up there anyway, so he still gives you the key to your room with a fairly jovial expression.

The whole situation seems rather outlandish, but in the end it’s just a fair. These sorts of things have a habit of being eccentric, after all. Hells, you can’t really say you’re not curious either. The only time you ever went to a fair was when you were but a naive child taken there by your mother, your father too much of a deadbeat to go with you. You really enjoyed playing the games and eating the fried foods. You remember seeing the Big Top show, your mother smiling beside you as you jumped in joy when a troupe of monkeys flew through the air on ropes-

{You okay there boss?}

{Everything alright, wizard?}

Your mind gets punched from two angles as both Bubs and Harmony mentally inquire at the same time. Holding your head for a moment, you try to send out between the two, your neural pathways getting a little discombobulated.

{Bubs, no I’m fine.}

{Nothing to worry about Harmony.}

The psychic one-two continues again and Tabitha looks at you funny as you stagger behind her.

{If you say so.}

{I don’t think that’s true at all.}

{OKAY. OKAY STOP.} You send to both, massaging your temples.

Well, you didn’t think this would be an issue, but ouch, ouch. This isn’t going to work, you’re going to get a migraine and pass out if it continues. Wracking your brain, you think for a moment about what to do. Maybe if you could… merge the two? Get like, a private matrix in your head which has all three neural pathways linked?

Surprisingly, it takes very little effort to combine the two as you mentally slam your links with both together.

{Woah woah woah big guy, what’s all this about?} Asks Bubs as he scurries in your pocket. {I didn’t sign up for this.}

{Hmph!} Mentally sniffs Harmony. {Your familiar is a dirty rat? Honestly I wondered why it was in your pocket.}

{I’ll have you know I am proud of being dirty!}

{Uh huh, I’m sure you are ratty too.}

You groan. This may cause more trouble than it saved. {Ugh, stop fighting in my head. Look, you two are going to be working together, so best get along, okay?}

Bubs shifts awkwardly while Harmony ripples with power.

{Sorry…} They both say in unison before growing quiet. The things you do for magic. But that’s settled for now, so you finally right yourself, only to notice Tabitha poking you with her sword.

“Are you going to be alright, Wizard?”

“Huh? What?” You say, shaking your head. “Yeah, sure.”

The Lizardman stares at you blankly before rolling her eyes. “Come on, we need to get situated before the Wolf Girl starts barking in anticipation.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

It doesn’t take long to get the horses stabled and your supplies in place before you’re ready to head to this so called fair. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a good time?


Chapter 84


It’s not a long walk from your inn to the edge of the town where the fair is supposed to be. The sky has turned dark by now, but as you approach, you see a plethora of many colored lights illuminating the night sky above and around the fair. Hala lets out a squeal of delight at the sight and even you feel a little surprised at the scope of the place.

In the center of the fair is a large, pointed tent with red and white stripes known as the Big Top. Multiple lanterns with colored light illuminate it from a distance while all around the tent are stalls. Some stalls have various games while from others you can smell, even from this distance, nostalgic smells of deeply unhealthy food. Your stomach growls in anticipation.

A line of people stand outside the edge of the fair, eagerly awaiting as they funnel slowly into the grounds. Looking ahead, you see the reason for the slow down is a group of three women passing out tickets to people.

All three are very tall, lithe women with dark, chocolate-color skin that seems amplified in the colorful lights all around. They each wear rather revealing clothing, their chests showing ample cleavage, while their midriffs are bare, exposing very smooth stomachs which seemed to glisten with a light sheen of sweat or possibly oil. The most distinct feature about them however, is that despite the otherwise revealing clothing, they wear matching cowls which keep in place masks painted in a variety of colors and expressions.

As you approach they immediately take notice of your party. You can feel the eyes of one wearing a blank mask of pure white on you before she shakes her head and hands you a ticket,

“Free of charge sir. Today, the fair is open for everyone!”

Her voice was velveteen, yet there’s a hint of roughness, as if she’d endured hardships in the past. You take the ticket gingerly and look down to see in big letters, “Big Top ticket- Carnival din Luna, three bells.”

You look up to see the rest of your party receive their tickets, Blake not being able to grab his before Hala swipes it from the woman and growls at her. Smiling, she hands it sweetly to Blake, who sighs. You roll your eyes at the display and Tabitha does the same before taking a ticket. She pauses momentarily, narrowing her eyes at the attendant, who pointedly ignores her. The Lizardman shakes her head and pockets the ticket without further incident.

Once inside, you notice quickly that there are far more people here than this town can hold. In fact, it seems like most of the countryside has come on down to enjoy the spectacle and fantastical foods. You watch in fascination as plates of fried bread strings with powdered sugar are passed around, while cycle whipped candy was devoured by children who ate it off sticks. You smile as you see a kid devouring a pack of fried goodies, from chicken to cookies, you could fry anything!

The next thing you notice are the large amounts of couples here. It isn’t too surprising as you’ve heard these sorts of things are popular for lovebirds, but it does sort of irk you to so inundated with it. You can tell that Veronica is uncomfortable seeing this as well. You see her drifting close to Blake, her hand twitching toward his every now and then, but she pulls back as Hala points over at something, taking his attention.

He turns to her during one of these attempts and she shifts about uncomfortably in her armor, which Blake tried to get her to leave back in the inn. You bet she’s probably regretting it now because of how humid it is, but she tries to pass it off like it’s nothing, though her cheeks are quite red, either from embarrassment or heat. Maybe both?

The third and final thing you notice is that every last attendant is one of the dark-skinned women wearing the masks. It’s a little creepy, to be sure, but the happy way they interact with everyone takes the edge off it, so you have a hard time feeling worried. Hells, despite their skimpy clothing, none of the fairgoers really pay them much mind, treating them like they were normal.

Putting your worries at rest for the moment, you decide to just try and try and enjoy yourself as best you can with your party. You don’t particularly care for them, but you will have to work with them for a while, so you GUESS you should try to be a little nice. Besides, fairs are meant to be enjoyed with others, right? So hey, you can attempt to be sociable for an evening, right?

Or well, you would, had the rest of your party not left you five minutes after entering.

Hala drags Blake about to see a menagerie of strange animals while Veronica and Tabitha split off on their own, each seeming disgruntled as they watch Blake get pulled about. Either they all forgot you were there, or they’re far too focused on Blake. Regardless, this leaves you alone with your rat and a magic talking staff with the spirit of a long dead Monster in it.

Tch, who needs humanoid friends?

Sighing, you look around for something to do. The carnival games could be fun, but you’re not in the mood at the moment, off put by familiar feeling of being ditched. You grunt at the sensation, having forgotten that annoying sensation years ago. Tch, if you didn’t go outside, you wouldn’t have felt this annoyed again. Looking around, you notice a stall with alcohol. Ah, drinking, that’s a pastime you haven’t indulged in recently.

Walking up, you slap down a silver coin on the bar. The attendant, wearing a mask painted in garish purple and green colors, looks at it and shrugs before pouring a rather large jug of liquor that smells like watermelon. She holds her hand on yours as she hands you the drink a little too long however, so you have to pull away uncomfortably before you start your drinking.

{Humph! The nerve of that strumpet!} Huffs Harmony mentally.

{What do you care, you’re a staff.} Send Bubs as he hops from your pocket to eat leftover food on the ground.

{W-well, I’m just looking out for the Wizard’s interests is all.}

You take another big drink and sigh, staring off into space. Your best interests, huh? What does she know about your best interests?

As the alcohol, which tastes like ass by the way, begins to seep in, your thoughts turn to Harmony. It occurs to you that barely know her… it… whatever, though you felt at ease with the staff, despite her predilection to be annoying at times. Maybe it’s because of the drink, or maybe it’s the couples running about, but for some reason you have a strange thought about what Harmonious must have looked like.

Certainly she had to have had a lithe, petite body to be aerodynamic, with excellent breasts that contoured well despite their size, and small, but noticeable hips that lead down to her well-developed thighs. Her wings and feathers were probably immaculate shades of yellow and gold that shone brilliantly on the sunlight as she soared through the sky, electricity dancing from her. Last, but certainly not least, her face was probably gorgeous, with stunning eyes and a small, but cute mouth that whispered quietly, “S-Sorry.”

You shake your head as if from a daze and look at Harmony. You’d swear the staff would be bright red if she were alive, based on the level of embarrassment you feel emanating from her.

{Uh… Harmony, can you read my-?}


{She means yes, yes she can.} Says Bubs as he gnaws at a chicken leg that was only half eaten.

You rub at your forehead and sigh before gingerly picking the staff up. She seems to ripple at your touch, something you find oddly satisfying though. It’s nice that she thinks about your health, not many people have for a long time and-

Shaking your head, you cut out that thought. No, you need to calm your wandering thoughts. It wouldn’t do to start have your staff begin to have improper thoughts. It sounds really stupid when you think that, however. It’s not like anything could even happen, right? She’s a staff!

Wandering over to a fried foods vendor, you watch as another dark-skinned woman starts frying up some cookies with cream filling in the middle. Your mouth starts watering as they sizzle in the oil. Seriously, anything can be fried! As you watch the process, you take another swig of your drink, then pause, realization striking. By the Gods, you can deep fry a heated bread pouch!

“Hey, hey lady.” You ask, only mildly tipsy. She cocks her head at first, but you soon get the impression that behind the mask she’s looking you up and down. This liquor must be rather strong, because you get the impression that she’s checking you out. Clearly that’s not the case, right?

You pull out a heated bread pouch and wave it about. “Can you make this fry? Real deep like.”

She stares at it, then at you, before shrugging and taking it from you. She coats it in extra flour before dropping it into a pot of boiling oil. As pops and sizzles, your nose is assaulted with the smells of bliss becoming something even more wonderful, and your mouth starts watering as you watch it grow in beauty. An eternity later, she removes the now fried pouch from the liquid, wraps it, and hands it back to you to juggle the hot pouch in your hands.

  1. Owwww, that’s hot as fuck.
  2. This is barbeque flavored.
  3. This is heaven.

You sigh in ecstasy and wander/ stagger over to a side alcove near some stalls and sit with your back to some signs stacked up against one. Savoring the flavor, you finish your drinking and stare off into the night sky as people laugh and play around you.

Fuck em, you have your food, your drink, your staff…

You look at Harmony again, and the acute sensation of blushing comes to you again as you recall your mental picture of Harmonious. Harmony is not her, but she is a well-crafted length of wood, with a very beautiful gem on top who stuck by you despite everyone else leaving.

“Hey… Hey Harmony.”

She answers, a little diminutive. {Uhm… Yes?}

“Did Harmonious have a nice ass?”

{W-what? I-!} The staff is at a loss for words and you can physically feel the wood become warm to your touch. {W-what makes you ask that!} She says, mental voice going up a few octaves.


You snap back into focus and stare off into the void as you localize the voice. That’s… Bubs… in your head, the rat. As you put Bubs back into your head, everything seems to crystallize and you suddenly realize what you were doing. Dear Gods, it’s not Harmony thinking improper thoughts, it’s YOU!

Choking down a scream, you turn about to slam your head into the signs of you’re sitting behind, over and over again, trying to purge the bad thoughts. This continues right up until you give yourself a mild concussion and pass the out in the alleyway.


Chapter 85


You come to as someone is gently rubs your shoulder. Head pounding from both pain and drink, you look up to see one of the dark-skinned women shaking you. 

“Are you well? Do you have brain damage?” She asks, feeling your head, then neck, before dragging a long finger down your chest. Grunting, you wave her away and she retreats without any trouble. With a groan, you sit up and check your things, finding it all to be there, thankfully.

Looking around blearily, you see far less people about than before, and those that are present are all moving towards the Big Top. You look back to the woman, her green eyes twinkling behind her mask.

“The main event is beginning soon, shall I accompany you?”

The main event? How long have you been out for? Must have been a few hours since the show was supposed to start at three bells. Shaking your head, you look again at the woman standing before you in her skimpy clothing and concealed face. Maybe it’s just the side effects of slamming your head into the wall, but you feel rather suspicious about this woman. Still, she didn’t do anything to you while you were asleep so she’s probably trustworthy enough.

You might as well go to the event. It’s doubtful that Hala will let Blake miss the show, and the others will probably follow him in, so you can meet with them there. Not like it bothers you what they’re doing or anything, the fuckers, but Blake has the key to your room with him, so you’ll have to find him eventually.

Sighing, you think to your companions,

{Harmony, Bubs, we’re headed out, you good?}

{Uh, I think we should be asking that big guy. Did you forget what you just did?} Replies Bubs as you notice him scurrying around some trash. Harmony is silent but still very warm, and you really don’t know why. Do staves get sick? Hmm…

“Oh? Well, my head hurts but I’m okay, how are you Harmony?”

She takes a few moments to respond before mumbling, {O-oh, I’m uhm, okay, yeah.}

You rub the back of your head, then look back to the attendant, who urges you along, impatient to leave. Very well then, Harmony seems preoccupied for some reason you can’t explain, but it’s probably fine. She seems to ripple as you have this thought and you can’t help but wonder if it’s related to you having a head injury. Ah, whatever, you’d remember if it was important.

Taking a deep breath, you exhale slowly and nod to the attendant, “Yeah, uh, sure, okay. Let’s uh, let’s go then I uh… Yes.”

Smoother than butter.

She cocks her head and a slight chuckle escapes her throat as she helps you up and toward the Big Top. The whole way there you have to keep her from rubbing up against you with those sacs of fat called breasts. It’s not like she was TRYING to push into you, right? Nah, can’t be. Human women want nothing to do with you, as is constantly evident. Still, you do your best to keep away from her until you reach the tent, where she lets you go.

“Enjoy the show sir, I’m sure you’ll find it very… pleasurable. If there’s anything you need…” she leans forward as she says this, exposing even more cleavage than before, “Please let me know.”

You turn away, uncomfortable, and squeeze Harmony, who sends a spike of embarrassment in your mind. What is up with her anyway? The attendant ushers you forward, and you slip into the tent only to stop in your tracks as you’re assaulted by a barrage of noise.

Somehow they managed to fit everyone in town and the surrounding countryside into this tent. It didn’t look like it was this big on the outside, but the large, rough, wooden stadium seating is packed with people eagerly waiting for the show to begin. Their voices mingle together to create one of the loudest sounds you’ve ever heard, which makes your head ache as you take stock of the tent.

Two large poles stand at either end of the circular arena, tethered together by a tightrope. Smaller poles around the sides keep the tent standing upright while not compromising the seats. In the center of the ring is a circular platform and you can’t help but smile as you remember entering the Big Top as a child. You can see it plain as day as the fat ringmaster twiddled his mustache while he oversaw the entire masterpiece of a show.

Of course, no one is on stage at the moment, although a few of the women with masks are about, mostly as security you feel. Checking the stadium, you easily find Hala as she leans over the seats, staring at everything, her tail wagging back and forth. Blake sits next to her, laughing while keeping her from jumping out of her seat. Your other party members are similarly distinct in the crowd, though you notice them staring daggers at Hala from their separate locations.

Sighing, you consider finding somewhere to sit but decide it’ll be easier to find Blake when this all finishes if you’re with one of them. You totally don’t just feel lonely still. Nah.

You move to the most reasonable of the two, which is Tabitha. Thankfully she has plenty of room about her as well. It’s almost like she’s intimidating or something! As you approach, she turns to you and nods her head.

“You look like you smashed your head into a wall, Wizard.”

{That’s pretty much exactly what happened.} Mentally squeaks Bubs from your pocket.

You rub your head and shrug, “Makes sense, I’ve been drinking, so maybe I slipped and fell.”

Tabitha lifts and eyebrow but says nothing, only turning back to Blake as she says, “I don’t like this place. Something feels terribly off about everything here.”

“Are you sure it isn’t because Blake is being lovey-dovey with Hala?”

She grits her teeth. “No, it is not because he won her a stuffed bear at a bottle toss, nor was it the food they shared which lead into a kiss, nor was it the romantic carriage ride through a cheaply made tunnel.” She turns at looks at you, pure hatred in her eyes. “It was none of those things.”

You lift your hands defensively, “Okay, okay, calm down, geez.” Lunatics, all three of them, all after the poor man’s dick. A sickening though occurs to you.

By the Gods this is only going to get worse before it gets better, huh?

As you begin to rethink this journey, the lanterns in the tent start to burn low and everyone quiets as they look down at the stage. A few whispers go about, but everyone waits patiently as a figure moves through the dark. A moment later, a pinpoint lantern light appears on the figure and you can see a gorgeously curved woman with dark, chocolate skin and tattoos running up the right side of her body standing on the center platform. She wears even less clothing than the others you saw, only something to cover and support her ample breasts and a thin cloth to cover her nether regions. Oh, and of course, she wears a mask, painted in shades of red and white.

The woman bows and waves a hand out over the crowd before projecting, “Welcome, one and all, to the Carnival din Luna!”

People cheer at this, and she raises a hand before continuing. “Tonight, you shall see feats of skill and prowess that will boggle your mind and shock your senses. You will not leave tonight without feeling greater pleasure than you’ve ever known. But for now, lean back and enjoy the show.”

The lights darken and when they reappear, another masked woman is on the tightrope, balancing on one foot as she bends down and around, showing amazing balance while exposing ample amounts of skin and underclothing. She whips up around the rope and slides her ass through the air before slowly, sensually, rising up the rope and being picked up by another attendant who gently takes her hand and rubs her body, eliciting a series of moans before the lights fall again.

The next four acts are also thinly veiled sexual shows, although things could just be too artistic for you. You’ve never been a major patron of the arts, of course. You can’t help but groan however when one performer sniffs the ass of another on the swing set on the pillars. Though you feel uncomfortable, you notice the rest of the crowd has begun to watch even more attentively, especially the couples, who eye each other as the shows progresses, the men licking their lips while the women rub their legs together.

“Tabitha, I think I agree with you. Something isn’t right here. Maybe we should-“

You cut off as the lights pinpoint on the ringleader again as she mounts the stage. She addresses the crowd, swinging her hips about as she speaks,

“Dear patrons! I do hope that you have enjoyed the acts and feel… aroused for more. It is with this hope that I begin the next, and most important act. Please, hold your applause until… well, you’ll know,”

With that, she takes out a vial of white liquid from between her breasts. You notice the rest of the attendants in the tent do as well, more than were there previously. With the performance you didn’t notice when the rest appeared, but the whole outer ring of the tent is packed with the masked women.

The sound of corks popping off fill the room. The ringleader slowly takes off her mask and hood, revealing a gorgeous face with red, bright lips and piercing eyes which are framed by shoulder length black hair tied into a bun behind the head. She shakes the hair loose and you realize with a start that her ears are pointed.

In fact, all of the women remove their masks and hoods to reveal long, pointed ears and gorgeous faces. As one, they drink the liquid in the vials, before opening their mouths and rubbing their bodies in unison. The ringleader utters a moan which echoes through the crowd. It hits you like a physical force, staggering you as you realize this is some kind of magic. But to have so many people… no, these aren’t people. They’re Monsters, and by their appearance, they must be Dark Elves. But to do something so organized-

Dear gods, this is a ritual, isn’t it?

The ringleader slides her hand over her body as she twirls and spins, uttering increasingly frequent moans as her hands trace over her body. The crowd becomes increasingly enthralled by her rhythmic movements, their agitation growing. You open your [Mage Sight] and see the power of magic flowing from the other Monsters into her, congealing and forming a cohesive mass of pure magical energy which concentrates into a massive amount of power.

By the time you realize what’s happening it’s too late. The Monster screams, her voice almost orgasmic,


And with that, all the energy stored up flies out to wash over the crowd, saturating them their own built up lust and the power channeled by the dark-skinned Monsters. Adults in the audience howl like animals while children pass out, their bodies unable to handle such energies.

You can feel it upon you, feel your mind reel in confusion and ecstasy as your vision pinpoints on the closest set of breasts to you. Your breathing becomes ragged and shallow, your dick hardening like granite.

That, of course, is when the people begin tearing their clothes off in a wild drive to fuck, all while the ringleader laughs manically.


Chapter 86


These robes, they’re too stuffy, too in the way! You need to… to remove them, or how else will you be able to free your dick and plunge it into the women about you, driving your baser instincts into their sex, and relishing in the ecstasy of your carnal desires?

You begin to pull robes off, but get caught in the fabric, causing you to scream in frustration. If you take too long, you’ll only get the dregs! You struggle, dropping your staff, which you can’t fuck, a distant cry of alarm sounding in your head as it falls. It’s just as ephemeral as the voice of Tabitha, who is screaming beside you. Oh just you wait lizard-tits.

With effort, you manage to fling off your robe, exposing your uncovered chest and pants. With fumbling hands, you start to work at your belt, when you notice the incredibly sensual, deliciously built, attendants sliding out of their revealing clothing with little effort. They began to bound and leap into the orgy that is the crowd, landing upon men and dominating them with their luscious bodies. Women they find in their way were batted aside, although the humans manage to find another willing partner with little trouble.

Your eyes meet a pair you remember, those of the attendant who helped you when you were unconscious. A wild lust fills in her eyes and she backflips yards into the air to land upon the back of a man next to you, cracking it audibly, before she saunters over to you, her hips swaying in sensual motions.

“Oh yes…” She coos, touching your face as your breathing becomes more frantic. “I will enjoy taking you.”

As she begins to push you down, you hear a soft, whistling sound. One moment her hand is on your cheek, the next, a fountain of blood gushes out onto your face.

Both you and Dark Elf stare at the stump where her hand used to be, dumbfounded. The Dark Elf blinks and looks closely before a look of shock crosses her face.

“Ah… Ah? AHHHHHHH!” She suddenly screams, flailing about. Her cries of pain are lost however in the orgasmic shouts around her. All you can think though is that the blood splattering your body would make a fantastic lubricant. You reach forward to grab her naked body with one arm, ripping at your pants with the other.

Your head twists ninety degrees as a powerful force strikes you across the cheek. You spin, slamming into the ground, your thoughts also spinning. You… you need to have sex and… and…

Oh Gods what were you doing?

Feeling a sense of déjà vu, you shake your head and look at yourself in horror before taking in the scene around you. Everywhere you see men and women performing deplorable acts, spraying their juices about as they let their inner beasts ravish each other senseless. The Dark Elves are intermixed in the crowd, taking those they choose and dispatching or subduing any who try to interfere in their conquests. Thankfully, children were spared the effects of this magic, but when you see an unconscious young boy crushed under the weight of a frenzied threesome, your stomach turns.

“THIS!” Cries the ringleader, standing upon her stage as she moves one hand over her body, moans escaping every so often as she masturbates. The tattoos on her body glow softly in time with her motions.

“This is how war should be fought! Oh…ohhhh ah! My… My lady Victoria! You were right! You were so right! Ah…ahhhhhh!!!” She squirms as she orgasms but your attention is brought back to your immediate surroundings when Tabitha slaps you again.

“Damnit Wizard! Pull yourself together!”

You grab her hand and stare her in the eyes. “I’m fine now, I’m fine! Stop slapping me!”

Reaching for your robes, you pause, grunting. With all the blood on you, you probably can’t get them on without a lot of effort. Guess you’ll have to make do without. You scoop up Harmony from between a couple rutting themselves like pigs and a sense of relief washes through you.

{By the Gods Wizard, I thought you had let go of your senses completely!} Cries Harmony in your mind.

{Oi that’s my line!} Squeaks Bubs as he crawls out from your discarded robes. {I thought you’d crush me in your frenzy there. You alright big guy?}

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” You say audibly, and Tabitha nods. Curious, you ask her, “How did you resist the ritual?”

“I’m a Lizardman, mind tricks don’t work on us, only duels.” She doesn’t elaborate further. “Regardless, what are we going to do now?”

Scanning the crowd again, you find Veronica, who has cleared a small circle around her of a few broken corpses of Dark Elves. You watch as she pushes away a few men, her breath ragged and her cheeks flushed. It’s obvious that she’s having a hard time resisting the effects of the ritual, her baser desires keeping her from full lucidity, but her faith, either to Solos or to Blake, keeps her somewhat sane.

Speaking of Blake-

The fucker had managed to remove all his clothing and is currently slamming his meat stick into Hala as she cries out like a wolf. You watch as a Dark Elf flips forward into the crowd next to him. She attempts to kick away Hala, who, despite having a cock in her, manages to twist about, snag the Dark Elf’s leg, pull her to the ground, and tear out her throat with her teeth.

The stimulation from so much movement and raw ferocity causes Blake’s face to spasm and jerk. You just know the bastard came inside the Wolf Girl who looks far more pleased than she has any right to with so much blood on her face.

You look back to Tabitha and nod your head. “First, we need to gather our team, and then we stop this ritual!”

“How?!” She shouts. You look about before spotting the ringleader. She’s summoned a ring of men about her and is currently milking them for their semen. Each time a gush of the white fluid contacts her the tattoos flare up brighter.

Tabitha nods and you look down to your familiar. {Bubs, I need you to get Veronica.}

{Uhh sure, okay boss, but how am I going to-?} He pauses and groans mentally. {Oh, right. Hit me I guess.}

You cast [Metamorphosis] and your rat swells to the size of his dire form before bounding away in the crowd, stepping over the couples and gnawing at a few Dark Elf ankles on the way.

Nodding to Tabitha, you say. “Let’s get the happy couple.” She frowns at you but doesn’t say anything as she draws her sword and stares at the crowd around her, ready to cut some people down to make way. Putting a hand on hers, you shake your head.

{Let it snow, let it go.} You think to the staff and, through her, you cast [Cold Blooded].

The fucking around ceases abruptly as a wave of pure cold washes over the people there. They drop, shivering for warmth, and you press forward, a nearly catatonic Tabitha beside you. Right, right, reptiles and hypothermia… well, she’ll live

Moving toward Hala and Blake while creating more areas of cold, you hear behind you a loud, ear splitting scream.



Chapter 87


You look behind and see the one handed Dark Elf, staggering and shivering as she holds the stump of her hand, her dark skin seeming pale as she slumps to one knee. All around the other Dark Elves snap to attention, their eyes upon you and Tabitha.

“Lady… Oh…oh…oh…ohh! Lady Victoria will not, oh yes, oh oh Dollora, forgive us if we fail!” Cries the ringleader as she slides her hips up and down the shaft a of very pleased looking man on the center stage. She shudders before raising a hand into the air.

“Kill them!”

You and Tabitha exchange worried looks, then redouble your efforts through the crowd as spooge covered blowjob queens leap around you, magic flaring to life in their hands. You dodge a fireball thrown at you before casting another area of [Cold blooded] and slowing down the movements of the people and the elves (Tabitha too, you suppose). Pointing Harmony at the nearest Elf, you rapidly perform [Fast Scan] before slamming out an [Indigestion].

The Dark Elf drops to the ground, her beautiful face contorted in pain as she holds her bare stomach. You switch your gaze to another Elf, who is coming at you with a blade made of ice. You ready to parry the blow when Tabitha slides forward and slices through the blade, then takes the elf’s legs out from under her. Literally.

Pushing forward again with the Elves behind you screaming in agony, you get about ten fuck-yards of couples away before five more Elves appear in front of you, forcing you to step back and evaluate your situation. Ugh, you couldn’t make all of them shit themselves fast enough and Tabitha is freezing. It looks like fire or electricity is your only bet but with all these people around…

As one of the Dark Elves jumps into the air, an arc of fire leaping between her hands, a large, furry shape slams into her. The blow throws her into a crowd of mostly men ravaging one poor lady, and they eagerly take up the Dark Elf and begin filling every inch of her body with their hungry dicks.

The furry shape bounds next to you, and with relief you see it to be Bubs, his dire form bristling. In the next instant, a shining figure bursts into the pack of elves, scattering them. Veronica stands there, a halo of incandescent light playing about her as she lays into the Elves, smashing them aside with blows of justice.

Monstrous heathens!” She yells in a voice that seems utterly unlike her own and which booms through the crowd. “This is the price of your heresy!”

She downs two Dark Elves in the blink of an eye, their torsos crushed by the impact of her mace. You quickly drop the other two with [Indigestion] and nod to her. When she turns to you, you notice her eyes are glowing a soft yellow light and she nods back.

Wizard! Your assistance was most timely, for this one had a crisis of faith!”

“This… one?”

It is no matter, we must push forward.” As she says this, she plows through people, somehow not harming them, though some may have gotten a boot to the ribs as she charges through. You and Tabitha follow in her wake and soon you come to the two lovers, still stuck together in their lust.

Hala looks up at your group and her eyes shine in triumph as she growls, “He is mine! His seed fills my womb!”

Tabitha boots her upside the head and she slams into the seating, causing Blake to be pulled down with her, his cock slipping out orifice, a torrent of his spunk spilling out. He looks about in horror, and moves to reconnect, but Veronica places a glowing hand on his bare chest and utters, “Exterminatus de monstroso.”

Blake’s eyes widen and he becomes lucid again. He looks around with the same horrified expression you showed when you were awakened. “By the Gods, was I? Oh Gods…”

He looks at Veronica and Tabitha before noticing where their gazes are. He quickly turns about, gathering up his pants. You just roll your eyes. Honestly, you’re kind of inured to his dick by now.

Hala picks herself up slowly as she looks around before focusing on Tabitha. “The fuck was that for?”

Tabitha just glares at her. “Wipe the blood off your chin, we have a ritual to stop.”

The Wolf Girl glares back and wipes her chin before going to explore her cunt. She removes sticky fingers and sucks on them as she assesses the situation. “Guh, Elves. Didn’t see them much in the forest but they were a pain.”

You look away as she goes for a second helping and you cough. “More will be coming, we must go and face the ringleader.” You wave Harmony at the tattooed Elf in the center off the tent. The rest of your party nods and you, your bare chest covered in blood, leads the charge forward down the seats.

Well. You actually let Veronica lead since she has armor, but you’re helping.

Though you fight through a few more Dark Elves, they quickly realize this will get them nowhere so they group together around the central orgy, where the ringleader’s skin is more white than chocolate now. Her moans and cries ring out above the grunts of the many men she is milking and you set up, preparing to cast a spell to electrocute the whole group.

As you do so the remaining Dark Elves link their hands together and a shield of force appears between them. You throw out your spell, but it’s blocked with little trouble. Thankfully they have to focus entirely on the barrier and are unable to attack.

“Damnit.” You growl, readying your [Mage sight]. “I’ll have to dispel it. Hold on.”

As you start to dispel the barrier the ringleader cries out in an orgasm, and the crowd of men about her slump down, exposing her gorgeous body which is encrusted in semen. She licks her lips and her tattoos flare almost so much as to be painful as her wonderfully endowed chest heaves.

“Oh no, no, no. This will not do! The carnival is one of lust and enjoyment, a gift to my Lady and her master! You shall not stop what has begun!”

She removes a vial of a black liquid from somewhere in the pile of men. “Though I should wish to have this blessing in the grace of Lady Victoria, she has nonetheless gifted me with this transformation, that I might better serve!” She pops the cork out of the vial, downing the full solution before dropping it and uttering a scream of ecstasy as the semen on her body her flows like water into her skin. As it does, she begins to spasm, her body rocking back and forth in tremors.

You try desperately to break the barrier, but the other Dark Elves redouble their efforts, slowing your advance. You notice in horror that the ringleader has her mouth open in a soundless scream as her legs ripple and writhe. With a sickening crunching noise, they explode, splattering the men with blood and causing her to drop out of sight.

Your mind can barely comprehend what is occurring as you hear a multitude of cracking and squelching noises, a variety of fluids flying into the air as she screams, this time in pain. You slam down at the barrier with your magic and break it to the point where it is barely held together.


The Aspirant wades forward and, taking her mace in two hands, she shatters the barrier with a mighty yell, scattering the Dark Elves before her like dust in the wind. The rest of your party charges forward. As Tabitha reaches the pile where the ringleader fell, a chitinous hand shoots out and grabs her by the throat, lifting her into the air.

You watch as the Dark Elf rises up, but not on two legs. She instead rises on eight, massive spider legs connected to a segmented abdomen which is black as night. Her torso is still her own, glowing with powerful tattoos, but her arms are now made of a black chitin that ends in talon-like claws. You watch her face as she closes her two green eyes, then opens them again. Two new sets of eyes open on her head as well, all three shining with a black inkiness seen only in insectoid Monsters.

She looks at Tabitha, then slides a finger delicately across the Lizardman’s shirt, tearing it open and revealing her wrapped breasts.

“Hora hora… Now why would you hide these? Dear, dear, you need to open up.” She slices open the bandages, and Tabitha’s ample breasts slide forward, jiggling as they are released from their prison. The former Dark Elf laughs. “Much better! Maybe I’ll let you have some fun before I kill you. But for now…”

The Spider-Elf thing, a Drider you believe, chops at the side of Tabitha’s neck, causing her to go slack before dropping her like a sack of bricks and turning to the rest of you.

“Well then, who’s up for the next round?”


Chapter 88


“Spread out!” Shouts Blake as the Drider grabs one of the unconscious men around her and flings him at your party.

Hala and Blake leap to the side, landing deftly as the body slams into Veronica, causing her to stagger backwards with a grunt. She manages to cushion the man’s flight with her hard, armored body, leaving only a few audible cracks of his bones. You’re fine though, since you’re standing behind the Aspirant. Lucky!

The Drider laughs, then skitters down the pile of men as four Dark Elves who managed to stay upright from Veronica’s mighty mace fall in line with her. You watch as they close their eyes and start to channel magic into weapons of fire and ice. With speed you can hardly believe possible from earlier, they rush your party, two attacking Blake and two attacking Hala, while the Drider slams into Veronica.

“Wizard!” Shouts Blake as he parries a sword of fire with his blade. “We’ll handle these, support Veronica!”

You really, really wonder if Blake will be okay, but you just let it be. He’ll be a meat shield for awhile you suppose. Hala… Well, anyway, back to Veronica before that becomes an issue.

It would be nice if Tabitha was here, but she’s obviously out of the fight, her breathing stable, but unconscious. You grit your teeth and watch as Veronica’s aura of light flares brightly as her armor absorbs a brutal slash from the Drider’s talons before a follow up abdominal slam forces Veronica backward, allowing the Drider to close in, only to fall back as the mace swings out at her.

Veronica is a powerhouse with that mace, but her defensive capabilities aren’t as good as you hoped- her speed is just plain lacking. If Bubs could maintain his dire form longer, you could have him attack and help the others, but you’re pushing the time limit and have to drop the [Metamorphosis], forcing him to collapse in exhaustion as the magic leaves his body.

You needed to help her, but the Drider leaves no openings. Any spell which would hit the Drider would certainly hit Veronica and, if it didn’t take out the Monster, she’d be on you like a beard on a Wizard. Or… some other… simile… Anyway, you need something else, something you could add into the fight to even the odds.

You look around the field suddenly, your [Mage Sight] open, senses questing. Yes, yes there is plenty of raw material around, you just need to concentrate, because this is going to be a doozie.

Gripping both hands on Harmomy, you close your eyes, channeling your will as magic flows around you. You can feel your strength waning as you push your power forward and about you, energy starts to become visible to the naked eye.

{Wizard, what are you-?} Whispers Harmony in your mind before pausing to consider. {I see. If that’s your will, then so be it.}

Suddenly, as if a door is being unlocked, the power floods into Harmony and through her, being converted into something more than it was before. Slowly, you feel the filth and excrement of the audience and the Dark Elves in the tent begin to pull toward you, forming into a tornado of pure waste.

You form in your mind the image, and Harmony shapes it, smooths out the edges. Both of you work together as two practiced artisans filling the gaps left by the other, making something greater than the sum of its parts.

While you do this, the battle rages on.

Blake dodges a blow aimed for his chest, then sweeps aside a thrust before sliding down and taking the legs out from under one of the Dark Elves, his blade whipping forward to make a huge gash in her leg, eliciting a cry of agony. He whips about to the next Dark Elf, who has deftly jumped into the air and is channeling an electricity spell. She calls down a massive burst of power that slams down at Blake, causing him to vanish in beam of light which engulfs the other Elf as well.

When it’s over, the unfortunate Elf is nothing more than charred cinders, but Blake holds firm, Lionsedge crackling as the magical energies of the lightning are discharged through it, spraying sparks from the glowing metal of the blade. The Dark Elf who cast the spell looks incredulous as Blake carefully picks himself up and readies to fight again. She grits her teeth and screams before forming another spear of ice and charging at the Hero.

Hala, on the other hand, is not faring as well. She has multiple cuts and gashes all over her naked body, although she does not bleed from most due to the heat of the fire wreathed blades used by her opponents. She’d managed to hamstring one of the Dark Elves, who hangs behind her friend, as the two circle the Wolf Girl, who is on all fours, circling them as well, neither pack willing to make the first move Eventually the Dark Elf without the injury does, dashing foreword.

Hala’s eyes widen and she leaps for the Dark Elf as the lunge begins, catching the nimble Monster off guard. She manages to twist enough to avoid getting a face full of wolf fist, but instead gets thrown to the ground and savaged as Hala tears into her left breast with her teeth, tearing out a huge chunk of fatty flesh form the Dark Elf before the hamstrung one slashes at Hala, forcing her to roll off her prey and back onto all fours, growling.

In the center is Veronica and the Drider. Despite how Hala was doing, Veronica has it much, much worse. The light around her has begun to dim and her movements grow sluggish as she tries desperately to connect with her mace. The Drider merely dances backward or pushes the mace aside before raining down a barrage of blows onto the Aspirant, who cries out in pain. A particularly savage swipe connects with Veronica’s face and she spins, falling backwards and dropping her mace. She fumbles to grab it again but finds that her arm is caught in a sticky substance that slowly envelopes her body.

“Ehehahahaha! Rejoice in being my first captured in this way!” Cries out the Drider as she spins her webs around the immobilized Veronica who looks to you, terrified.

That is when you open your eyes and wave Harmony in a slow arc, before slamming her butt on the ground, the sound echoing without any regards for physics. A great squelching noise fills the tent as the ball of shit you had been channeling slams to the ground and explodes outwards, coating everything in thirty feet in a thin layer of feces and waste.

Everyone stops and stares at the shitsplosion as from ground zero arises the delicate form of a woman made of pure filth. It’s proportions aren’t quite right, making it a little jarring to look at, especially since it has a square, blocky face, but you stare at the Drider, sweat streaming off your face as you cry,

“You’re about to have a shitty day!”

The golem moves faster than should be possible, skating across the sea of filth as if it was part of its body, and slams into the Drider with the force of a charging bull. The assault forces her off Veronica and backward, scrambling in the veneer of shit to gain proper footing. The golem, however, does not find this a hindrance and, with your instruction, it sails forward into the Drider to smash it with a powerful uppercut that sends the Monster flying, a scream on her lips.

Turning to survey the rest of your party, you see that Hala, in the confusion, had managed to pin down the hamstrung elf and rip her throat out before opening out the entrails of the Dark Elf, who is currently coughing blood as she vainly attempts to fix her ruptured organs. Blake, on the other hand, is still dueling the other Dark Elf. As he comes in for a blow that would take her spear arm, she dances over him, flipping about in midair and preparing to stab him from behind.

You two-handed smash her in the back of the head with your staff before continuing on to Veronica, your breath becoming ragged from the exertion of keeping such a powerful construct functioning. With some effort, you start to tear at the spider silk, although Blake is the one who frees her with his sword. Her body slumps to the ground, the holy energy in it spent, leaving her a normal, tired woman.

Not that you look much better, your concentration wavering as you keep the spell up. Harmony is giving most of the commands as the golem rains blows upon the Drider, who is caught utterly unaware, her attacks ineffective at doing little more than taking off chunks of the golem. It doesn’t acknowledge the damage and continues laying into her.

You look about at your party which has gathered up, and you take a deep breath before nodding to Blake. He nods back and helps Veronica up as she regains her balance.

“Wha-What is-?”

“Shit” Replies Blake, gritting his teeth. ” It’s shit.”

You smirk, exhausted, “Yes, that’s nice, but can someone squash this bug for me?”

Veronica closes her eyes and the soft glow appears around her mace only. “Give me an opening.”

You nod wearily and Harmony gives the command, causing the golem to slide backward on the shit. The Drider, in her fury, drives forward but realizes her mistake too late. She tries to pull back as the golem flows onto her, trapping her legs in a tidal wave of powerful, raw filth. She struggles and rages before looking up at a shadow that has crossed her path, her dark face going pale.

“By Solos’s light, I shall exterminate you!”

“Lady Victor-!” Is all the Drider has time to scream before Veronica’s mace slams down onto her skull, crushing it utterly and caving down into her chest, killing the Monster instantly and causing blood and ichor to fly everywhere.

As soon as she goes slack, you can physically feel a pressure wave as the ritual is broken. The tent, which was full of grunts and screams of ecstasy, is replaced by shouts of horror and confusion. You just… sag to the ground, your shirtless, blood and shit stained form slumping over onto your side as you release the power of the spell. The golem collapses back into its constituent filth with the magic being released, the pressure on your will vanishing, yet leaving you exhausted. As your eyes start right flutter, sleep forcing its way onto you, you wonder if your robes are okay…


Chapter 89


You wake up in a bed, cleaned and dressed in light clothing. Waking up groggily, you still feel exhausted as you yawn and look about. Oh, it’s the inn you’re staying at. Apparently no one else is around, but you can see that your robes are folded neatly on a nearby chair and Harmony lays next to you while Bubs sleeps in your lap. You carefully take the staff and she cries out in your mind,

{OhmyGods you’re awake! Are you alright? You passed out after you did that spell and I was afraid you weren’t going to wake and I wanted to tell the others to be careful with you, but I couldn’t because the whole staff thing and-}

(Woah now, easy there Harmony.) You think with soothing thoughts. {I’m fine, just… tired is all.} You rub at your eyes. {What happened anyway?}

{Uhm. Well, after you passed out, all the townspeople kind of freaked out until Blake managed to calm them down and establish some order.} She pauses. {He’s quite the orator, huh? That or he just has tons of charisma.}

{The latter.}

{Right so, he got order back to people and then we brought you and Tabitha back to the inn where you were cleaned off…} She mentally blushes at that. {Uhm, yeah, and then brought to bed. Kind of a short story really.}

{I see… Where are the others?}

{Nrrrgghhh, you two are loud!} Yawns Bubs as he stretches awake. {Anyway, I think that they’re taking with the mayor, trying to clean up this mess.}

{And they left me here huh?}

{Sounds about right big guy.}

You lean back and sigh, staring at the ceiling. Well, guess you have some time to cool down and relax. So, big battle over, and you won the day, congrats! But how many more like this will there be? This was just an opening battle to a war which you can’t even comprehend.

Stretching, you get out bed before contemplating putting your robes on. Yes, you could go back to bed and sleep like a good little Wizard, but you should probably get some shit done today. Such is life… but first, a snack!

You search around the room for your [Pocket Dimension] and pull out a warm, flaky-crusted heated bread pouch. You turn it slowly in your hands, inspecting it, before delicately taking a bite. Ham and cheddar- eh could be worse. You munch on the morsel before verbally asking Bubs, “How long was I out for anyway?”

He pops up from your covers, rolling about as he thinks. {Uhh, time is kind of a nebulous concept for a rat you know.}

“You’re a Magic rat.”

{Ugh, fine, it’s been like a day or something.}

You stare at him intently.

{Ugghhhh, seventeen hours, four minutes, and three… No, seven seconds.}

You blink, surprised. Bubs just stares at you flatly. {Magic. Rat.}

You shake your head and finish your meal before grabbing another pouch- you need to keep up your strength of course! Taking a bite, you realize it’s roast beast, which you didn’t even think was a flavor, but there it is. Tastes like Solos-mas dinner.

As you finish licking the crumbs from your hands, you go to dress but stop and stare at your robes. The poor things are torn up in multiple places and, despite the extra layers of leather added as patches. Blake’s handiwork with a needle can only do so much. You need to find a way to make this thing better or get a new one. As you ponder this, you remember that you have just the thing.

Inspecting the fabric, you pull your copy of [Defensive Magic: Volume 1] before biting your fingertip to draw a little blood, which should work for this. Carefully, you draw lines connecting from a greater structure to anchored rune points on the robes, creating lines of aetheric reinforcement for the main sigil. As you finish drawing, you place your hand before the sigil and pulse your will. The blood flashes brightly as magic flows through the sigil and it crackles briefly before simmering down and fading from sight, as if absorbed by the material. You look the cloth over and feel that it is still fairly cloth-like alright. Stretching it, you find no real resistance, and then you try to slash it with a knife.

The blade slides off. You poke it gently with the blade and nothing happens. A little more bold, you stab at it and the blade seems to connect, drive in some, then glance off. You smile and raise your arms in the air as your [Sigil of Endurance] is properly placed on your [Robes of Protection]!

You dress briskly and take up Harmony, who giggles as you twirl her about. Waving your hand, Bubs gets the memo and crawls into your pocket to fall back asleep. You finish gathering your items and head downstairs to find an empty common room. The innkeeper takes a look at you as you step down the stairs and nods.

“Ah, you’re up. Glad to see the ol’ hero of the day finally awake eh?”

“I’m not a hero…” You mumble, looking away, embarrassed for some reason. “Just a Wizard.”

He laughs at this. “Well if you say so! Your companions are still probably out speaking with the mayor I’d think, clean-up is still in progress…” His expression becomes somber. “Lot of blood there was, lot of death. Could have been much worse I know but…”

He shakes his head. “Anyway, this whole town’s got you to thank for this, so let us know if you need anything, ya hear?”

You nod to the man and then leave outside. There aren’t many people about, despite the time of day, and those who are out look down and ashamed, unable to look their friends in the eyes. Such is the effect of a blood orgy you guess. You just turn on your [Mage Sight] and extend your senses, getting a small pulse from near the carnival grounds. Looks like the others are over there then.

People move about the fairgrounds, cleaning and dismantling the stalls while restoring the area. Further down at the Big Top, you can see people going in and out, taking in buckets of water and other cleaning equipment. As you get close you begin to hear a familiar voice speaking and you turn a corner to find Blake and Veronica talking with a tall, straight backed man who looks not at all pleased.

Veronica notices you and waves you over weakly, causing the others to regard you.

“Good afternoon Wizard.” Greets Blake. He waves a hand to the mayor, “This is Mayor Skrills. Mayor, our Wizard.”

Our Wizard?

The mayor looks you up and down before sighing. “I suppose you’re the one who covered the entire center of that tent with fecal material, yes?”

You nod your head. “It was necessary at the time.”

“I’m sure. Well, we were finished here I believe. The Hero has done us a great service in keeping the order after this crisis and I have finished consulting him for further steps to take.” He adjusts his formal clothing, “Rest assured, this sort of thing shall not happen again. If there is to be war, then Derrick will not be found such easy prey again.” He nods to all three of you before leaving.

You look between the two Order warriors and shrug. “He was nice.”

Veronica sighs and sits down, looking exhausted in her plate armor, which she had somehow found time to polish. You look to Blake who just rolls his eyes.

“It’s just how these things are. I think we’ll get a little more rest and head out tomorrow, okay?” He looks over at the Big Top and shakes his head. “I think I’ll go help them out. Are you okay Veronica?”

She waves him away with a tired gesture and he hesitates before leaving. You watch him go before sitting down next to Veronica, who looks up at you, her face haggard.

“You don’t look too good Ms. Aspirant.”

“Fuck off Wizard.” She says, only half murderous.

You raise your hands defensively, “Hey hey, just stating a fact, you should really be asleep or something.”

She sighs and rubs her eyes. “Can’t let Blake do this alone. That mongrel is off wandering around the fair somewhere and who knows what Tabitha is up to after she woke up.”

“Are you tired because of that whole… Glowy light thing?”

She looks at you oddly before clacking her tongue and nodding. “Ah, that. Yeah I suppose. All Chantry members learn to channel the divine will of Solos through themselves, granting strength and endurance for a short period. For some reason…” She taps the armor. “For some reason in this armor it feels as if my connection is purer, more connected to the font of Solos’s power.”

She smirks, “It’s not like Saint Celestine’s lingering spirit is animating this armor or anything, right?”

You raise an eyebrow and touch the armor on her arm, your magical senses flowing. You sense…. you sense… an elaborate series of aetheric connections forming a pattern you can’t comprehend. This must be holy magic, because no other magic could do something like this as far as you know. This armor is blessed by the hand of Solos, but you’re confident it isn’t sentient.

You look into Veronica’s eyes, who seem too tired to care that you touched her without warning. Pulling back quickly, you cough into your hand. “Yes! Wait, no, I mean uh. No, there is no spirit in this armor, however there ah… is a powerful set of enchantments laid by something far above us mortals.”

Veronica looks down at the armor and smirks. “Looks like Saint Celestine truly did have a strong connection to Solos. So strong that he even blessed her armor and gave this gift to all else who wore it.” She closes her eyes and takes on a serene expression. “It makes me glad to know that despite everything, Solos still smiles upon this world.”

You rub your chin, “Guess that explains why you didn’t freak out when Bubs was with you during the fight.”

Her tired expression suddenly changes to horror. “The… it was with… me?”

“I think he crawled on your arm at one point too.”

She goes white as a Ghost and starts to breathe a little quickly. You raise your hand and wave it back and forth. “Woah woah woah, take it easy, hey, just go lie down, okay?”

She just sort of, falls over on her side and passes out. You poke her with Harmony and get no reaction, but it looks like she’s sleeping comfortably in her unconscious state. Good for her, but bad for you though because you don’t really know what to do to with her.

Of course as you ponder this, Hala comes walking down the path, dressed in a new sundress which she wears quite well. You can see the wounds on her face and exposed skin, some patches of her hair burned away from the fight, but she barely seems to notice with bandages in place. She rubs at the cloth awkwardly before shrugging and gnawing on a turkey leg that she must have found in one of the stalls.

Or the ground.

The Wolf Girl sees you and waves, standing on her toes before bouncing over, nearly knocking over some workers who look rather peeved. She comes up to you and crouches down, chewing on the leg as juices flow down her chin and onto her dress.


You blink at Hala and rub between your eyes. “Very lady-like of you.”

“I ain’t no lady.”

“Clearly not! But you could have some manners if you’re going to be with Blake you know.”

She shrugs, “He’s not here and this is really good meat.” She rubs at her chin anyway. “Glad it was still where I saw it yesterday.”

“You really were raised in the woods, huh?”

“Yeeeeep.” She waves her meat at Veronica. “What’s with her?”

“Passed out, tired and such.” You think about it for a second. “Do you think you can take her back to the inn? I’d like to look around here for a bit.”

Hala looks at Veronica intently before a mischievous grin appears on her face.

“Ohohohoho. Sure Wizard, I’ll take reaaaaal good care of her.”

You raise a finger. “Hey now, don’t get any funny ideas.”

Whaaaaaat? Meeeeee?” She says, teeth bared.

“That’s a bad Wolf Girl, bad.”

She waves you away and clamps down on the turkey leg before lifting up Veronica onto her shoulders with little apparent effort, then starts walking her back to inn. You just watch as they go and briefly wonder if you just did a bad thing. Oh well, Hala is relatively harmless anyway.



Chapter 90


Stretching, you continue on your way into the Big Top and take a look about. The bodies have been cleared out quite some time ago and what’s left is all the fluids. Whether blood, feces, or other secretions, they’re slowly being washed away by the people of Derrick.

You wave a hand and a pile of feces which hasn’t been washed away flies into the air. You place it gently in your [Sack of Holding+1] and it fit very snuggly in the third compartment you never filled, separated from the book compartment and the everything else compartment. Aww yeah, magic.

Walking in further, you see Blake directing a few people before he sighs and looks over at a cage in the corner. Inside sits one of the Dark Elves, the one Tabitha had cut the hand off of. She merely sits there in a rough spun set of clothes, a bandage covering her wrist as she stares off blankly. You walk over to the cage and poke the Dark Elf with Harmony, who seems mildly affronted at being a designated poking stick. She looks up at you slowly before looking back down. You shrug and turn about to find Blake standing next to you.

“Only one who didn’t run or commit suicide after their leader was killed. Hasn’t said much since we put her in there.” He sighs and rubs his perfect hair. “Probably won’t live too terribly much longer though. People didn’t feel like patching her up too much. A shame though, because it would be nice to know who this Lady Victoria is.”

“Arachne, Temple Guard….” You mutter, not thinking.

Blake looks at you sharply, “How do you know that?”

Your heart starts to beat faster as you search about for an answer, “Uhhhh, well, you see, it’s about this…. well I know a uhh….”

You gulp and say, “Communion Matrix?”

Blake narrows his eyes before shaking his head and grumbling, “Wizards and their arcane devices…” He looks back at the Dark Elf who is now watching you with keen interest before he sighs again. “If we just slew the servants of a Temple Guard, then things may get much worse before we even reach the mountains.”

You look pensive for a moment before shrugging. “Oh well, we’ll just squash her when it comes to that is all.”

“Heh.” You and Blake turn to look at the Dark Elf who is smirking after letting out a small chuckle. She shakes her head as she continues, “You are delusional.”

“Is that so?” Blake asks. She just looks down again, as if speaking to him was beneath her. She doesn’t respond and Blake looks to you, sighing.

“Well, it’s the fate she’s chosen.” He says before being called away, leaving you alone again with the Dark Elf.

You roll your eyes and cast [Privacy Barrier] before sighing, “You’re alive, eh?”

She makes no reply and you rub at your beard. “You’re going to die here, you know that, right?”

No reply again beyond her ear flicking downward. You think for a moment and then shake your head. Taking Harmony, you drag her in the dirt to form a circle around the cage, then pull out a [Health Potion] from your bag before placing it in front of the Dark Elf.

The Dark Elf just stares at the potion, eyes confused before looking back up to you.

“What kind of…torture is this?” She croaks, staring into your eyes.

“The kind where if you’re a good little girl, I’ll let you go.”


“Because I need some questions answered and a message delivered.”

She looks down at the potion, then back at you. She slowly reaches for the vial, then tears off the cork with her teeth before drinking it down. She shudders and her eyes fly open as she stares at you and a ball of fire forms in her hand, which she tosses your way.

You don’t even move as the fire hits an invisible barrier and stops, dissipating in the cage. She stares at you openly, the down at your circle before cursing.

“Yeah, uh huh, like I was going to let you have a potion with some semen in it without taking precautions.”

You fold your arms and shake your head. “Now then, why did Victoria send you here?”

She grits her teeth, “Do not speak of the lady so casually, you filth.”

You stare her down and she looks away, grumbling. She stays that way for a long while before looking back to you, “What, did you think I’d talk that easily?”

You shrug. “I guess you just want to rot there or something. Now that you’ve had a health potion, I’m certain it’s going to be much longer and much more painful.”

Her lip curls and she growls, “It was to secure the waterway.”

Raising an eyebrow, you look at her. “You were going to do this by… What, forcing women to become Monsters through this ritual of yours?”

She snorts, “Of course not. Only those chosen by Lady Victoria would have that honor. The rest would merely wallow in their lust and no longer be a threat.”

“Odd, that seems a little against Tolosh’s plan, isn’t it?”

“The High Priestess is a pretentious crock. She believes all should be under the banner of Dollora.” The Dark Elf presses against the cage, teeth bared. “Only the worthy should receive that right.”

You rub your chin and pace around for a moment before shaking your head. Interesting, a division in the ranks? Could you use that to your advantage?

“Are there more raiding parties like yours?”

She goes silent.

“Oh well, guess I’ll just have to go and leave you here or something.”

Rolling her eyes, she sighs. “Yes. I don’t know how many, nor which one the Lady is-“

She cuts off abruptly and you look at her with curiosity. So Victoria is around here… This could complicate things. Looks like she’s getting agitated though, let’s switch to a different topic.

“So your boss here, what was with the spider thing, and why did she think that was a good idea?”

“Because, you fool, it is the greatest expression of our Lady’s favor. To be granted the transformation…” She trails off, looking wistful.

“Uh huh. Okay.” You look down, thinking. So this Victoria is doing the Monster Lady’s will by attacking strategic targets, yet she’s in conflict with Tolosh, the High Priestess. This… this is important news!

“Very well then, you held up your end of the bargain, now I’ll hold up mine, on one condition.” You pull out a piece of paper and some ink you got from the Hero’s Hall and start writing a letter. As you wait for it to dry, you take a piece of broken wood on the ground and carve a tiny reindeer face in it before showing both to the Dark Elf.

“You will deliver these to Selene.”

The Dark Elf stiffens and looks at you oddly. “S-Selene? The Hunter?”

“That’s right, and if I find that you don’t deliver this message, or that you start going back to raping and killing, I will find you. Do you understand?”

She looks down at the letter, then at you, and slowly nods her head.

“Good. I’ll come back later and release you.”

“You better fucking keep your word.”

“If I don’t, then you’re not getting out of this circle.” Snapping your fingers, the [Privacy Barrier] falls, but you keep the magic circle up around the Dark Elf. She blanches but folds her arms under her breasts, not making any complaints.

“Wizard?” Blake asks, walking back up to you. “Something wrong with the captive?”

“Hmm? Oh, just poking her with my stick.”

{I’m a staff, you asshole!} Harmony shouts in your head.

“I’d rather you not. Though she did some terrible acts, she is still a person.”

You shake your head then roll your shoulders, eye catching the Dark Elf. She looks down, seeming as downtrodden as before. “It is what it is, she brought this on herself.” Scratching your head with Harmony, who is still yelling at you, you ask, “Have you seen Tabitha?”

Blake shakes his head. “No. We let her recover at the inn when we took you back but she’s since left the inn. I saw her once and she just sort of… stared at me before tugging her jacket tight and walking away quickly. She’s probably hanging around the town somewhere.” He thinks for a moment. “Do you think you could… well, I know it’s you, but could you find her and let her know we’re leaving in the morning? Maybe see how she is?”

You raise an eyebrow, “I thought you didn’t like her. It’s like you’re afraid of her trying to do something like-“

His face goes red with embarrassment, “Marry? No, who said? No! What?”

Oh right. It all comes back to you then from a matrix you read a few years back about an unbeatable and very depressed Lizardman. A smug smile comes across your face. “You know that’s what they do, right? Try to marry whoever beats them? Even I know that.”

He looks uncomfortable, “Yes well… yes I know that. At the time I didn’t though, and I’m just not ready for something like marriage. That’s not to say I don’t like her and all, and she’s quite beautiful, but I-“

“Have Hala?”

“That too, but I’ve been tasked with having to save the whole world!” He puts a hand to his head as he breathes out. “This is one fine mess I’m in.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t mess with women’s hearts so much.”

He smiles ruefully, eyes still covered by his hand. “It’s not intentional, or well, it isn’t anymore. I don’t know, I’ll have to figure things out.”

You blink. “That means…”

“It means I have some thinking to do is all. Look, could you just find Tabitha for me?”

Giving him an odd look, you just end up shrugging. “Sure, whatever man.”

You turn to go, but before you can walk more than a few steps, you head Blake call out, “Wizard… are we friends?”

You don’t even turn around as you reply, “Probably,” and promptly walk out of the tent.


Chapter 91


Unable to find Tabitha around the fairgrounds, you decide just to head back to the inn for now. You can at least say you tried if you run into Blake later. Fortunately, or perhaps not, you find Tabitha in front of the inn, her back resting against the wall. As you approach, she scrutinizes you, but then looks away, dismissing you.

“Uh, hello to you to.” You say as you walk up. She grunts and says nothing further.

“Uhm. Sure. Look, Blake was asking about you and-“

She looks up sharply, her eyes narrowed with raw intensity, “Where is he?”

Starting to sweat some, you pull at your collar. “U-uh… The uh… the fairgrounds?”

She mutters under her breath and then folds her arms under her breasts, contemplating. You stand there awkwardly, waiting for another answer but she seems to have forgotten you. Or is ignoring you. Though you should just turn and leave, you cough into your hand.

“I know it’s not err… Any of my business, but what exactly are you doing?”

She glares up at you, “You’re right, it’s not any of your business.”

“Geez, fine. Here I was worried about you or something, guess you’re fine.”

Annoyed, you shake your head and go inside when you feel a tug on your robes. Turning about, you see Tabitha’s hand grabbing your clothing as she looks down, cap covering her face.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude, especially when you uhm…”

You stare at her in surprise. Yes, you didn’t know her well, but you’ve never seen her look so… much like a woman before. It causes noodles covered in sauce to start to leak from your pockets.

“Uh, ah, yeah, well, it’s not that I, I mean it’s fine and all, you just are… well ah, it… it’s okay.”

She looks up at you with pained eyes before she lets go of your arm and turns about. “I… thank you.” Sighing, she stares up at the sky. “I was waiting for Blake to once more challenge him to a duel. After that shameful show yesterday, and my…. my exposure, I need to know if there is truly a reason for me to stay with this party any longer.”

She rolls her shoulders. “I don’t care about killing the Monster Lady and I don’t much care about this war. I just want to know if Blake… if he really is…”

Your hand seems to spasm as you sort of, kind of, a little bit, slowly… there! You place it on her shoulder. She tenses up and looks back at you, only to find you smiling and only slightly twitching! She stares at you before her mouth quirk up and she quickly turns away, breaking the contact and placing a scaled hand before her face as she regains her composure. Well shit, you didn’t mean to make her cry or anything!

It’s not long before she turns back around, her eyes somehow free of tears, and takes in a deep breath. “Alright. I’m going to go back to that damned fair and settle this.”

“Uhh… Blake is kind of exhausted, and frankly I think you are too. Not much a duel to be had there.”

She considers this for a moment and then sighs. “You have a point, Wizard. I suppose I’ll go ahead and go work on my form.” Somehow she seems a little crestfallen, even though she put her normal mask of emotion back up.

Maybe you should do something nice for her.

“Oh! I can enchant your clothes!”

Oh, you said that out loud.

She looks at you oddly, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah, I can place a [Sigil of Endurance], make them more like armor, but still be light and easy to move in! Hells I can make it magic resistant or stealthy instead, or you know I may even be able to like uhh…” You roll your hand, “I don’t know, make your underwear hot or something.”

Your enthusiasm turns to horror as you realize what you said. “Oh… oh Gods, no, I didn’t mean, look it was just a suggestion, I’m not saying that I want… I mean, you know me, Wizard and…ah, sorry…”

Cocking her head, she scratches her cheek and then shrugs, “Sure, that’s fine. I think keeping my breasts and hips warm would be excellent for the cooler weather. I’ll just change and leave them outside of my door.”

You stare at her blankly as she walks into the inn. Oh. Oh dear Gods what did you just do? You don’t even know a [Sigil of Fire]! Shit, shit, shit!

Groaning, you head into the inn after her. You don’t want to do this anymore, but damn it if you don’t want to seem flaky, even though you’re certain you already do, or at least very awkward. Yay being a Wizard…

When you reach Tabitha and Veronica’s room, you see no clothes out there yet. Awkward. Standing there a few minutes, you scratch your head, wondering what to do. Yep. Awkward. A few moments after you resolve to come back later, the door opens and Tabitha places her clothing outside the door, pausing when she sees you.

Apparently she didn’t get the memo to change into something else beforehand, because she’s stark naked and Gods damn is her body toned, yet smooth. Despite your best efforts, you get another glimpse of her breasts before she drops the clothes and slams the door shut.

“J-just take them Wizard. And tell the Order woman not to leave her armor around!”

You scoop up the clothes up gently walk to your room. By the end of this journey you hope to be inured to naked women, which would be great because that was super awkward back there. Oh well, time to enchant these… delicate, white undergarments…

Setting the clothes and your things down, you shudder. Ugh, let’s just… let’s just get mentally prepared for this. With a sigh you sit down on the edge of your bed and think about where you’d find a [Sigil of Fire]… Maybe Harmony knows?

You reach over for her and your hand brushes something on the bed. Confused, you pick up the item to find black, silken panties. Staring at them for a moment, dumbfounded, you slowly crane your neck to your bed to find something vaguely human sized under the covers. As your eyes open wider in horror, Veronica rises, nude from the waist up and yawns, rubbing at her eyes,

“Tabitha is that you?”

Oh Hala. Bad. Very, very…very bad Wolf Girl.


Chapter 92


You gently put Veronica’s panties back on you bed, take a deep breath, pick up Harmony and Tabitha’s clothes, then walk over to the door, open it, and step outside.

As the door clicks shut you hear a loud, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Followed by furious footsteps and the door behind you slamming open. You don’t turn about but you can hear the rustling of your bedsheets as Veronica screams,


You. Just…just keep on walking. As you walk past Tabitha’s room, you see her open the door and look out.

“What is all this racket abou-” She looks down the hallway and sees Veronica, naked yet covered by your sheets. Tabitha looks back to you, then at her clothes, then back to Veronica, before slowly closing her door. Thanks for nothing.

As you walk, you hear Veronica storm up after you. As you figure she might, she places her hand on your shoulder, spinning you about to face her.

It’s obvious that Hala stripped her bare naked by the way Veronica holds the bedsheet up to her chest. Her face is bright red and furious as she grits her teeth and snarls, “Explain yourself, right now.”

You… Yeah you don’t really want to deal with this right now. More accurately, you don’t know how to handle this. Sighing, you call to Bubs. He pops his head out of your pocket and yawns before placing a paw gently on Veronica’s hand.

She stares at the rat, eyes wide, her nostrils flaring as her chest heaves. Her eyes flick back at you, then to Bubs, then slowly, ever so slowly she retracts her hand, trembling so hard her teeth chatter.

Oh, and then she screams.

“KYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” She yells before turning around and running back into your room, exposing her backside (and admittedly well-toned ass). You just watch as she runs away, then shrug and go downstairs. Hopefully no one notices how badly you’re shaking.

As you reach the common room, you find Hala sitting there with this shit-eating grin on her face. You look her straight in the eyes, and say, “Very well then, I am not a holy man, but I will not turn down a theological debate. Jackor Vult as they say.”

Hala stares at you dumbly as you walk away. Let her stew on that as you think of your own tribute to the God of pranks to pull on her later. For now though, might as well find a good place to browse the Communion Matrix for some ideas while you wait for this shit to calm down.

You find a quiet little bench away from the inn and pull out your [Port-o-Glass]. Firing it up with some mana crystals, you search for the local leyline. Let’s see, the leyline in this area is… Ugh, Summonlink. Just hope you don’t get an aetherial ebb, because dropping connection sucks.

Anyway, let’s look up sigils, shall we? Hmm, here’s a list by some friendly Wizards… Interesting, a [Sigil of Rigidity]. This one appears to make things firm and hard, and has a very interesting sha- it’s a penis.

Okay, how about this one, [Sigil of Hotness], which is sort of what you- It’s also a penis.

Gods damnit, fine, what about the [Sigil of- ALSO A FUCKING PENIS].

You hold your head in your hands. Honestly, you should have expected this. Come on, you didn’t really think it would be that easy, did you? Inwardly weeping, you do some more research, and after what seems an eternity of wading through dicks, you don’t quite find the [Sigil of Fire] which you wanted, but you do find a warming mixture for an enchantment which looks legit.

Seems like the enchantment calls for a red dye made from ashes, peppers, and wood chips, all simmered over a low fire fed with Pyromancy for about three hours. It seems that it makes a long-lasting feeling of warmth, which would stay for a few months before it begins to fade. Not the best thing in the world and it will most certainly make whatever is dyed stay red, but it should be nice and warm. Besides, going by the get-up she’s wearing, you really doubt Tabitha cares much about fashion anyway.

You sigh and lean back, wondering where you’re going to find ingredients for this dye when an old man sits down next to you. He smiles and shakily pulls out a pipe before fumbling for a light. You snap your fingers and the bowl ignites, to which he stares and then slowly takes a puff.

“Thank you sir, my it is good to see a nice sorcerer every now and then.”

“Wizard.” You correct.

He chuckles. “Of course, of course.” He obviously knows not of what a Wizard is. Taking a long hard look at you, he asks,

“Do you partake, good Wizard?”

You raise an eyebrow and shrug. “I haven’t, didn’t find much use.” You aren’t certain you need another vice, but after the splitting headache last night, you should probably not drink anymore.

He offers the pipe. “Take a puff, tell me what you think?”

Slowly taking the pipe, you put it between your teeth and take a slow puff before coughing and holding the pipe out to the man. He starts laughing while patting your back,

“Hahaha, I remember my first time too! Ah the memories…” He helps show you the proper way to enjoy the pipe with the standard [Green Leaf] and, despite your misgivings, you sort of feel like you get the hang of it. After blowing out a puff of smoke you offer the pipe back to the man who shakes his head.

“Oh ho, no, you keep it! I have more than one, and it warms my heart to see another enthusiast born.” He looks around for a moment and then pulls out a little bag of leaves, placing them in your palm before whispering, “If you really want to enjoy yourself though, take this [Brown Leaf] for a dank time.”

You stare at the man as he stretches and looks down at you, his demeanor back to normal. “A good evening to you sir, take good care of the pipe! And remember, smoke every day!” As you watch him leave, you swear the man has some swagger in his step… Must be your imagination.

Smoking your [Pipe], and finding it somewhat enjoyable, you look up at the sky. Evening is coming. While you’d like to just go back to the inn and sleep, you promised to free the Dark Elf.

She’s surprised when you actually arrive and let her out once you make sure the work crews are gone.

Breaking your circle carefully, you let her out of the cage. She tepidly steps forward and shakes her head at you.

“You’re a fool.”

“And you’re wasting my time, now go,”

She shakes her head but pulls the letter out of her top before stuffing it back between her cleavage and turning to go. Taking a few steps, she looks back at you with a strange expression of… regret? Before she quickly runs out, leaping through the night.

You watch as she leaves and wonder if you did the right thing? Surely this won’t bite you in the ass later.


Chapter 93


Morning comes early as you wake up to pounding on your door. “Wizard!” Shouts Blake, “We’re getting ready to leave, get up!”

Alright, alright you’re awake. Probably.

Spending a small modicum of time, you make yourself mildly presentable by tending to your beard and dusting crumbs off your robes. As you finish, you notice a note on the table you missed last night which reads, “Wizard, I am going to punch you in the morning.”

Huh, wonder what that means. Well, it’s probably nothing. Finishing your grooming, you pack up your things in your handy dandy [Sack of holding +1] and go off to greet the day.

Instead of the day greeting you back, as soon as you open the door a fist greets you in the face. You fly backward as Veronica stands there, fully armored and fuming. She crosses her arms as Hala stands behind her, snickering while Blake shakes his head.

“Na fug vas that fer?” You ask, rubbing at your nose. Fucking oww owww owww!

You cast cast [Soothe] on yourself to stop the bleeding as you glare up at Veronica, who huffs.

“You got my warning, you should have expected this, Wizard.”

“Gah, not first fucking thing in the morning.” You point Harmony at Hala, “Besides, it was that bitch who put you in my bed anyway.”

Hala looks utterly affronted, “Who, meeeeeee?” She hides behind Blake, her ears pressed to her skull as she sticks out her lower lip and gives puppy dog eyes.

Everyone looks at her with dull expressions and Veronica sighs deeply, placing a mailed hand to her head.

“Oh by Solos, it WAS you, wasn’t it?”

Hala looks around defensively as she hides behind Blake. The man just shakes his head as Veronica grabs the Wolf Girl by the ear and drags her away, kicking and screaming for Blake to save her. You and Blake watch the two as they leave and Blake groans.

“What am I going to do with those two?”

You lean back and rub at your healing nose. Still a little upset from getting punched, you say with a little more vitriol than intended, “That’s a damn good question Mr. Hero, what are YOU going to do?”

He furrows his brow and crosses his arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Sighing, you just let it out. “It means that this little group of ours has been a train wreck from day one. I constantly have to save everyone from their own little lusts and incompetence every time we get attacked.”

You hold up a finger, “Yes, there are times when I too have needed help, but think about it, how many times have you been ambushed or made worthless because you can’t keep your dick in your pants? How many times have I had to forcefully pull you out of your bitch in order to keep us alive?”

Sighing, you shake your head. “Honestly, I don’t know if we have what it takes to defeat the Monster Lady at this rate. If we can’t get our act together, we’re going to be killed, or worse, RAPED.”

Blake looks aside, gritting his teeth, “I’m only human…”

Stepping up to him, you slam your staff on the ground as your frustrations vent. “Yes, you are, but you’re also our damn leader. Your Gods damned High Commander or whatever the fuck his name is, personally picked you for this quest, hells, he even gave you his Gods damned sword!”

Blake looks down at Lionsedge and bites his lip as you continue.

“Those fucking girls look up to you, though yes, maybe they also look down every now and again because they want to suck your magical cock,”

It isn’t, you checked.

“But you need to get your Gods damned head together. Make an efficient watch schedule, teach Hala how to use those claws, tie off that sexual frustration with Veronica, and maybe, just maybe, do so mental exercises to keep your dick. In. Your. Pants.” As you say this last part, you tap him on the chest successively harder each time.

He just stares at your finger, then back up to you. You think you see a flash of anger in those eyes for a moment before he sighs and rubs his head. “Yeah… Yeah I… I guess you’re right. I just sort of expected… I don’t know.”

He rolls his hand, “Like the stories. You know, where the Hero and his gallant band go and save the world?”

You shake your head. “And the stories never tell about how the Hero had to deal with his sexual frustrations and one really, really pissed Wizard, did they?”

He smirks, “I guess not.” Stretching, he nods his head resolutely. “Right then, I think I’ll go have a chat with the two of them.”

He starts walking down the stairs when he turns to you and gives you that million gold smile.

“Hey, Wizard?”


“Thanks.” He winks at you and then goes to Veronica’s room to break up a fight which is obviously occurring. You may or may not be hearing howling noises.

Rubbing at your nose again, you shake your head. Okay, sure whatever. You didn’t intend to lecture the man, but maybe he’ll get his shit together? … Probably not, but a Wizard can dream right?

With a sigh, you walk past the girl’s room as Tabitha strides out amidst a din of barking and furious chanting. An annoyed sigh escapes her lips, but she freezes when she sees you. You blink in shock yourself, not because you see her, but because she’s wearing a dress!

It’s a light cream color that seems to accentuate her green scales. She shifts uncomfortably as she pulls down on her black cap, which does not go with the ensemble at all, but does happen to look kind of cute as she tries to hide her embarrassment.

“Wizard…” She growls, “Are my clothes ready yet?”

You blink and look down at the clothes in your hands. “Uhh… These are really the only ones you have left?”

I LIKE THOSE CLOTHES!” She says before blushing even more furiously and looking around, then dashing to the other end of the hallway and around a corner.

Huh, she really puts on a tough exterior, but she’s a softy on the inside. That’s kind of cute- not that you’re a good judge of these sorts of things.

Since Blake is having a heart to heart that hopefully won’t end in penis to vagina, you take the time to gather ingredients. It doesn’t take too long to gather them thankfully, as most you can find in the inn, including some nice and happy gong peppers. Heading back to your room in the inn, you pull out a cauldron, one of the items you picked up for enchanting back at the Hero’s Hall.

Carefully placing all the ingredients inside, you mix them up and keep up a nice, even heat channeling through Harmony who hums the whole time. Bubs just sleeps in your pocket while you go through the process.

After exactly three hours, he pops his head out. {Boss, it’s done.}

“That’s really creepy that you’re so good at keeping time.” You say.

{Eh.} Is all he replies before falling back asleep. Aww you kind of miss your banter routine. Oh well, time to check how your mix works.

You careful dip a piece of scrap fabric into the dye and pull it out, letting it sit for before touching it and finding that the fabric is pleasantly warm. For a second there, you thought that it would be scorching hot or something, but no, no this should work. Heh, you’re the best Wizard ever.

Next, you dip her undergarments, which you feel really weird about still, in the mix and they come out a bright red. As they dry, you spend the rest of your time working the [Sigil of Endurance] on her jacket after dying it, though since it’s black it doesn’t change color. It too is warm to the touch, and pretty durable!

As you finish with Tabitha’s clothing, you exit your room to see Blake coming down the hall. He nods to you and approaches.

“I talked to them, calmed them down a little, and set some guidelines.”

“You’re sure you didn’t just have Hala suck you off, right?”

“No I did not- ugh…” He shakes his head. “Look, let’s just hit the road. It’s a long trip to Cair.”

“Long as in…?”

“About five days. If we make decent pace, maybe four.”


He pats you on the back. “It’s okay, I’m sure we’ll only come to mortal peril a few times.”


The worst part is, you have a sickening feeling he’s right.

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