The little mofucore that could

Commissioned by Bob

A palmtop mofucore looked down below, from so far high above. She found herself in quite a predicament, seeing no way to get down from the cabinet she had climbed onto. The empty bag of skittles beside her and her full belly had signalled a success, but now she realized the consequences of no forward planning. Several other mofucores stood by the cabinet’s feet meeping and chittering, all staring high at the one now stuck for good.

Footsteps silenced them all in an instant, arriving to the room for all the mofucores to turn and see. It was the kikimora, visible confused by the event, first seeing the gathering down below, and then the one all had looked at.

“What are you doing there?” She asked herself, stepping closer. However, once there, her expression turned from confusion to disappointment, finding the bag of skittles devoid of its contents. “Those… were meant to be for another day.” She said. In due time, her lips betrayed a smile before she let out a giggle. “I can’t be mad at you.” She then said, gently taking the mofucore and leaving her on the ground.

The others immediately swarmed the mofucore in cheerful meeping, seeing their own kin saved at last.

Though half-asleep, half-awake, drifting from one state to the other on her pillow, the door woke the mofucore up fully. Turning her head, she found the kikimora walking in with a few bags. Curiosity befell her, following with her sleepy eyes till the kikimora arrived to the table, taking out one by one what she brought. With a pen on the table, she went by a list and, checking what she got one by one, crossed out as she went.

Soon enough, nothing else remained within the bags, but still she looked at the list. All of a sudden she slammed the pen down, making the mofucore’s eyes shoot wide open in surprise. “Why did everyone suddenly run out…?!” She ranted, to then walk off out the room.

The mofucore’s curiosity did not subside. Seeing the kikimora gone, she got up and made her way to the table. She jumped onto the chair, then the table, and quietly walked to the list, finding everything crossed out save for one single thing.


Under the list, a cooking magazine rested. The mofucore then understood what the kikimora wanted to do, and knew that, perfectionist as she was, she’d not even attempt it without even the most irrelevant ingredient.

The strange word still floated in her mind, however. Paprika. She had never heard of it before save for one single circumstance, perhaps through that aiding her in remembering: Not too long ago, when she had accompanied the kikimora to a particular store, to see a few tiny bottles named as such.

And the last time she remembered accompanying her to that store, an ‘out on holidays’ sign greeted them.

It certainly was a possibility, to sneak in and ‘borrow’ one. Imagining the kikimora’s joy certainly served as motivator, as if the mental picture of the mountains of skittles she could receive as reward were not enough already.

Decided, she jumped off the table, then off the chair, running across the room to then jump onto the window sill. However, only there did she notice the atrocious weather outside, or the omen of such. Dark clouds loomed overhead, threatening a downpour rather than a light summer rain. Still, not a single drop had fallen yet.

She’d have more than enough time.

And thus, she looked around one last time. With the kikimora nowhere to be seen, the mofucore then slid open the window and stepped out, to then slide it back shut.

A few blocks later, she arrived to the store of her memories. Once again the sign greeted her, stamped over the roller shutter: ‘Out on holidays’. Determined to find a way in the began walking by the building’s side, inspecting each nook and cranny of every corner, till she came across one detail in particular by the window. A broken panel, too small to be relevant to anyone, but big enough for her to sneak through. In high spirits already, she rushed up to the wall and jumped up, reaching the window sill and then sneak through.

The serene silence of the store greeted her, desolate and devoid of any light other than what snuck through the windows. What little noise once existed outside now turned muffled, giving way to the so peaceful atmosphere contrasting with what the clouds outside threatened to bring.

She jumped down, though soon concluded she did not remember where the paprika bottles were. The aisles towered over her, full of colors and letters on each and every thing which stood upon them, yet nothing she either sought or cared for.

In due time she came across it, a few bottles with that strange word written on them. They stood at the bottom of the aisle, face to face with her and as big as she was. Finally she had found them, tail betraying her joy as it wagged one side to another; she then wrapped her tail around the bottle and lifted it up, carrying it with her as she stepped back. Now, all that remained was taking it back home.

Only then did she notice a series of noises, once too low for her to pick up. They grew louder and louder coming from above, a dead giveaway of something she did not want happening. In full haste she ran and jumped onto the window sill, to find it already raining.

She didn’t want to step out. The rain would do her no good, and so much fluff would make it pretty uncomfortable and a pain to dry out. Still, as she looked high to the sky she figured it’d not end any time soon. It could only worsen from here. Sooner or later she’d have to step out.

Better make it sooner, then. Taking a deep breath, she mustered all the courage she could find in herself. What mess she had put herself into. Still, not other way but forward, and so she jumped out into the raining street.

Her fluff had grown damp and heavy, bombarded by the torrential downpour from above. Despite it all, she still ran as fast as she could through the sidewalk, knowing that only two blocks remained before she arrived home. So bad it had gotten, that the streets had already began turning into miniature rivers by the curb, taking leaves and garbage with the flow down the few drainages here and there.

But as she came closer to the corner of the block, a stray dog came to view, making her halt in her tracks. Though the dog had not yet seen her, soon it turned its head and spotted her, both standing immobile looking at each other dead in the eyes.

Then, the dog growled.

The mofucore, terrified to the core, took a step back. Then, another, and another, but without warning the dog broke running towards her, prompting her to do the same in order to escape.

And she ran, as fast as her little legs allowed. Over the puddles, under the rain, she ran and ran and ran, but with a look behind her she saw the dog closing in. It’d gnaw on her before she could even figure out where to run, where to hide, where to go where it could not follow, at least till she saw the flow of water falling into a drainage by the curb. She did not have the luxury of thinking of the negatives, knowing that the alternative would be to turn into a stray dog’s chewing toy. With the dog almost catching her, she threw herself into the water and fell into the drainage, with the jaw of the dog almost managing to chomp down on her before she fell out of reach.

Still, though she escaped from the dog, the water dragged her away to Lord knew where. Meeping in dread and terror, grasping the bottle as tightly as she could, she could only hope that this would not be her end.

Although she dreaded it very well, that this was not really the end of her woes.

Shot out a pipe, the flow threw her into a body of water. Though submerged for a second, the bottle brought her afloat. She could hardly open her eyes, coughing out water and shaking her head off the damp hair sticking to it, though once she gave a look around, she found herself over a lake. Too far from home, freezing, damp in her entirety. Still, she saw the earthen shore covered in grass not too far away by a forest, and with the slow waves threatening to send her further into the lake, she hastily paddled her way ashore over her bottle acting like a raft.

The freezing water left her hands partly numb, though despite it all she still arrived to the shore. The rain still pounded on her, and without the luxury of a second of rest, she ran into the woods. She found shelter under a tree, though only from the rain rather than the cold. A sneeze escaped her, and with a shiver going down her body, she shook as to get as much water off her as she could. Droplets shot out in all directions as her fluff whipped about, and though she knew she’d not dry herself off that way, at least it took a great amount of weight off her.

Her peripheral view caught something. Movement, above. Raising her head, she came to see a small creature hanging by a branch, staring at her with a cold gaze. A being the same size as her, humanoid yet with a few animalistic traits here and there in the shape of ears and tail: A rat girl. Anxious enough already, the mofucore could hardly do a thing but stare back in stupefaction, both immobile for a good few seconds.

With no warning, the rat girl climbed down too fast for the mofucore’s comfort. Within the blink of an eye she arrived right face to face, not even granting the mofucore the chance to do anything other than jerk back in fright. Still with those eerily focused eyes, the rat stared, till her gaze turned to the bottle the mofucore still carried.

“Where did you get that from?”

But the mofucore still remained too terrified to even meep. The rat then stepped closer to the bottle, but the mofucore quickly brought it behind herself.

“You got it from that old guy’s store.ยก How? There’s not a time that guy isn’t walking about, if those dogs aren’t by his door.”

Silence. No response, nor action from the two. Still, once the rat took one step forward, the mofucore took one back.

“You know a way in. I saw you getting spat out by that pipe… You want to go back, but not under this rain, don’t you?”

Though the mofucore did not answer, her once terrified demeanor fell to a more calm state as she thought the rat’s words over. This, the rat could see.

“I know a path through the pipes. Ends up close to that store. I can take you there, but in exchange you show me how you got into that store. Deal?”

Though skeptical, little choice did the mofucore have left. After a pause, she swallowed her fear and nodded. In response the rat grinned from ear to ear.

“Let’s not waste any time.” She said, to then break running back the way the mofucore had come from. Startled over the sudden start, the mofucore began running in order to catch up.

They reached a pipe along the shore, another one like that which the mofucore had been shot out of. This one, however, had numerous wooden branches set around it forming a manner of structure skeleton, one which the rat began to climb. The mofucore, justifyingly worried about the structure’s stability, followed suit regardless till the two finally entered the pipe. Within were yet more branches, set from side to side over the flow of water like a long bridge, though showing its age.

“Watch your step. These weren’t made for guests.”

Too stressful. For each step she took, no matter how light or graceful, the branches bent under her weight with the ever present threat to break. Below the branches flowed the current, as violent and merciless as the downpour above. She could even see that there was barely a gap between the water and the wood, with the water splashing on and on to never leave her feet to dry.

There was no getting used to it.

No matter how many steps she took, the dread still lingered. Ever since the first steps down the lengthy pipeline, on and on without pause, seeing the rat girl nonchalantly jump over each branch while she so timidly took each step with utmost care.


What the mofucore saw next was a branch almost thrown past her, landing on top of a few others just to destabilize them futher. Raising her eyes up ahead, she saw the rat girl standing still looking up ahead, to then find out that’s where the branch had come from. A wide gap remained, though the most dreadful thought turned out to be what state the makeshift bridge was under, and how long it’d be till all the other branches followed suit. The rat girl then looked back at the mofucore, to then nod forward before continuing towards the gap.

The mofucore followed till the two reached it. The rat girl jumped without issue, agility the mofucore knew she did not have, and waited at the other end.

“No way but forward. Come on.”

The mofucore hesitated. She didn’t imagine many chances of success in making the jump, knowing that the consequence would be to have the flow take her and be shot out the pipe once more. Still, the branche she stood on had begun to shake partly, signalling its deteriorating condition. Under pressure, she swallowed her fear and mustered what strength she had left. Then, she jumped forward.

She did not make it, feet landing on water rather than wood, but the rat girl’s sudden grip on her fluff and the subsequent pull aided the mofucore in grabbing onto the branch she had barely missed. With the rat girl’s aid, the mofucore came out of the water onto not-so-proper footing.

But the branch destabilized under their feet. With quick reflexes the rat jumped to the next, still holding onto the mofucore and pulling her forward; right as the mofucore stepped off, the flow took the branch, but the weight of the two only destabilized the next.

“Run! Go!”

With all haste the two made a mad run, jumping from branch to branch, all split seconds before they were taken by the flow. Land on one branch, destabilize it, jump to the next, land, destabilize it, a vicious cycle which forced them to keep jumping faster and faster, lest risk the flow take them by force.

But the last branch gave in before they arrived. The rat girl and the mofucore landed on the current, but despite the mofucore concluding it all for naught, it did not take them. The grip on her fluff gave it away; when she looked ahead, she saw the rat holding onto the end of the pipe with all her might, while holding onto the mofucore with her other hand. With a grunt bordering a shout, eyes closed and gritting teeth, the rat dumped all her strength on pulling the mofucore forward little by little.

Pulled to the end of the tunnel, the mofucore wasted no time in grabbing onto the edge, relieving the rat girl from her weight. The two then pulled themselves out of the pipe, arriving to solid footing at each side of the current in the sewers, elevated ground much like sidewalks on the street. Out of danger, the two collapsed to the ground in relief, panting on and on to rest for a few precious seconds.

“You alright?” Asked the rat girl, just to see the mofucore cough all the water out her lungs. At the sight, she couldn’t help but snicker. “You’re fine…”

She stood up, to then walk over to the mofucore and gently help her up.

“You know… It’s nice to have some company every now and then. That forest tends to get lonely sometimes.”

A pause.

“…Make that ‘all the time’. Anyways it’s only walking from here. I’m starving, so we oughta hurry to that store.”

Through a hole on the manhole cover, the rat girl climbed out. Ignoring the rain now hitting her in force, she held onto the side of the cover and pulled up as hard as she could, letting out a loud grunt as little by little she lifted it. Granted the opportunity, the mofucore rushed out, granted space for the bottle that’d have otherwise not fit through the whole the rat had climbed out of. Now out in her entirety, the rat girl let go, cover slamming against the manhole with a loud metallic clank to ring out.

The two then ran off in search of shelter, finding it by the wall of the buildings. There the two stopped to rest, a well deserved one after all had been done. The mofucore violently shook in place, whipping her fluff back and forth as to rid herself of the rain, much to the rat’s discomfort right next to her.

Though the bottle had been completely drenched, she still saw its properly sealed contents dry. Despite all that happened, it was not all for naught. Then, symptoms of a sneeze caught her by surprise, to then let it out in remindal of what cold she had almost gotten used to at this point.

Beside her the rat girl stretched her arms and legs, letting out a sigh in relief before sitting down on dry ground. The mofucore followed suit, as if numb legs were not enough of a sign for rest.

The sky still looked as cloudy as it was, not improving a slight bit. As they watched high above, neither of the two had any hopes of it ending any time soon.

“Say… Why would you grab that, of all things?”

The mofucore turned to see her, to spot the rat girl staring at her paprika bottle. The rat’s gaze then turned to the mofucore herself, inspecting before tilting her head in thought.

“You don’t look like you live alone. You’re on an errand, then?”

She looked back at her paprika bottle momentarily, before looking up high to the sky again, almost as if asking for the rain to ease.

“So, how did it happen? Did you end up falling into a manhole or someth–“

The interruption made her furrow her brows in confusion. She turned her head to the rat, just to find her with an aghast expression and a palm on the ground, ready to break running at a moments notice. Turning to see what had made her react in such way, she only found the very same stray dog as before, just then spotting them and growling. In that very second, the mofucore’s face twisted in equal manner to the rat’s.

The two then broke running, with the dog now giving chase. The mofucore’s exhaustion left her slow, and the rat girl’s apparently athletism only widened the gap, sprinting forward and leaving her behind in the blink of an eye. She looked back, seeing the dog catching up, and when she looked up ahead once more, the rat had disappeared.

No chance. She had to look for a drainage. Whatever alternative existed beat turning into a chew toy. Her fault for getting overconfident and resting on the sidewalk if she had seen the dog around not even hours ago. Still, she found one not too far, and made a mad dash for it.

“Eat dick, bitch!”

She heard the dog whimpering out loud in pain, to find as she looked back that it had been struck in the eye with a pebble. From the crevice of a building she found the rat girl with arms extended, taunting, just to turn and run away out of sight once more. Surprising her the most, the dog began to chase the rat again, rather than her.

She stopped on her tracks, panting, staring at what had happened ignoring the rain falling on her. Too much in shock, she could hardly process it, even as the dog’s noise faded away with distance.

Her mind had gone blank. Indecisive, she could hardly think of what to do now. The dog chased the rat girl, but was she in any condition to help her? Was she really going to abandon her, on the other hand? She didn’t know where they had even run off to.

Shaking her head, she accepted that she would be of no help other than bait. Though reluctant, she turned and rushed off home.

Exhausted. Drenched. Slow, heavy steps under the rain. She could see her home already, approaching it not with a rush, but with an uneven gait. A smile grew in her expression, her weary eyes finally seeing a sight he had longed to return to.

The front door lay ahead, and yet, she halted in place as if admiring what she had accomplished, her return with the paprika bottle still wrapped by her tail. Though raindrops hit her without pause, she ceased to care anymore. She found it no longer bothersome. Not even the weather, as she had stopped feeling the cold anymore. Her little legs no longer ached, her lungs no longer burned, her body felt a blissful numbness and her mind an equal joy.

Her attempt to step forward resulted in her feet giving in, condemning her to fall to the layer of water flowing over the ground. So too did the strength in her tail fade away, releasing the paprika bottle to slowly roll away.

She chose not to get up. She could no longer care. She was home. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. What she had put her mind to, she accomplished.

A reward was in order. Maybe not snacks, maybe not drinks, but not like she wanted them anymore. All she wished for was a simple rest, as sleepy as she had gotten under the numbness taking over. With each blink, her eyes drew closer to shutting for good for a nap.

Funny. Past the rain, she could swear she heard something. Someone approaching, shouting from within, heading to the door.

“I don’t care if it’s doomsday out there! You either help me look for her or you can go f–“

And there she was, the kikimora opening the door. Interrupted, frozen in place as she spotted the mofucore.

And the last the mofucore saw, was the kikimora throwing herself to her knees towards her.

Despite just waking up, she felt as dead tired as she ever will. A bad dream, or an awful morning, but the warmth felt strangely soothing. Attempting to wake up further she squished her eyes, meeping in effort at what seemed a titanic task. As she slowly opened her eyes, she came to see the fireplace fairly close by, the source of the warmth. The noises of rain hitting the ceiling, however, turned into enough of a hint that what she saw maybe wasn’t a bad dream after all.

The attempt to turn her head only ended in extreme soreness. Still, she looked about to find all the mofucores around her, with their legs clinging onto the edges of the pillow she slept over as if waiting for her to wake up at last. Quiet meeping ensued from them as one by one they saw her coming to her senses, but there and then she saw a stranger sight: the paprika bottle, now clean in exterior, held by a certain pair of hands. Looking at the other side, she found who they belonged to; the kikimora who held the pillow on her lap, growing a smile once the mofucore locked eyes with her.

“Did you really put yourself through so much, just for this little thing…?”

A giggle then escaped the kikimora, to then rub the mofucore’s head with her finger, an act the mofucore had missed almost too much.

A certain rat walked along the top shelf of an aisle, granted illumination in the otherwise dark store by the light of early dawn. The cloudless sky granted her the luxury of clear sight to all corners of the story, having spotted something of interest right where she was going. With a few more steps, she arrived to what she sought; a dozen small bags of sunflower seed neatly arranged, granting her a grin from ear to ear.

But as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared upon hearing the door unlocked to then creak open. Her smug expression turned irritated, having expected relative peace rather than a certain person arriving at this time. The bags would only harm her effort in keeping quiet, being so noisy to carry, but damned if she even thought of leaving without a few.

As the door closed, an idea popped into her mind. Without time to evne think it thoroughly, she shot glances around to find quite the useful items close by. Lighters. She ran to them and carefully took one, making sure to be as quiet as she could, then made her way to the edge of the aisle. From there, she threw it with all her might to one corner of the store. On impact, the noise turned even more annoying than she’d have expected, if only because of the relative silence within the building.

Hearing carefully, the rat knew it worked, if only due to the silent pause of the one who entered. She rushed back to the bags of seed and waited, hearing the steps approach the point of impact. The silence thereafter signalled the owner arriving to the lighter; seeing the opportunity, the rat grabbed a bag under each arm and legged it the opposite way, caring not the awful noise she made.

“Who’s there?!” He shouted as he approached. “Come out!”

The rat jumped down the aisle and ran as fast as she could, to then jump onto the window sill where another item placed beforehand awaited. A bag of dog food, which she now kicked through the broken window panel, one a certain stray dog caught in mid-air with its mouth.

“That’s your end of the deal!” She exclaimed.

“You goddamn…!” Shouted the owner. A dead giveaway for the rat that he had realized what was occurring, if the ensuing stomps did not show her enough.

She then jumped out the broken panel, right as the owner’s hand slammed against the window sill where she stood not seconds ago, missing her by a hair’s width. She landed on the stray dog’s back, who then sprinted off with her on top.

Though she tried and tried, she could not prevent a mad laugh from escaping her at the absurdity of the situation. The perfect heist, aided by the one once trying to eat her.

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