The Barmaid and The Number Cruncher

“Ok, ok, let’s review,” Betty chewed on her pencil. “I spent about 35% of my profits on wings, ingredients, appetizers, the pretzels are very popular, and beef is looking good. Beer, well, that expense gets into maybe $200 a week, or less, but the college kids do love them, and the red oni. And…ugh, maybe I can cut some expenses if I buy potatoes from the farmers market and….”

 

Better scratched her head, she hates math so much. Her head throbbed as she tried to work her way through these expenses.

 

“God damn it, this is not like college!” Betty had a right to be stressed out, being the owner of Milkers.

 

She came to the human world about 5 years ago, with a business degree in her hands, a recipe book, and a dream: to open a restaurant. The mamano world offered little in terms of entrepreneurial opportunities for her kind at least. She’s a Minotaur. A 7 foot tall ebony skinned beauty of a woman, with curly black hair that formed into an afro. She kept it nice and soft thanks to her beauty regimen, it felt like a pillow when you touched it. She had what could be described as a mom body, or milf body for some. A very curvaceous body, different from the leaner, more muscular minotaurs. She will admit she put on some weight in college, and it did make her breasts bigger, but now she has a tummy that thankfully stayed tucked underneath her breasts, and her thighs got a little thicker. Which of course meant her ass grew as well. It meant whenever she walked down the street, everything bounced with it, hair, breasts, ass, the works. It didn’t mean she was less strong, but she was far from her fellow minotaurs.While they were lifting, fighting, and going into constructions she opted to use the strongest muscle she has: her brain. She studied hard, worked intensely through her internships, and got her degree.

 

It should have been easy, but she ran into a problem: she’s a Minotaur.

 

She’s not a hakutaku, the more intelligent, she is a minotaur, the more brutish. When she tried to get investors or loans in the mamano world, they were hesitant, despite the credentials. They didn’t see a minotaur as someone capable of running a business that wasn’t centered around construction or a gym. Her confidence took a hit, as expected. She thought about giving up, her sister offered her a spot in a construction crew.  But when mamano finally invaded the human world, opportunities opened up.

 

There banks and investors were more willing to take a chance on her, though it was most likely they could hopefully find one to potentially stick with a high interest rate since they might not be as familiar with the human world of finance. However, Betty is smarter than that. Still, a lot of banks and investors were confused why a minotaur wanted to open up a restaurant. But it wasn’t a fine dining establishment, it was more like a sports bar. Betty explained she always liked taverns and bars, they were places people gathered to drink and have good memories. She remembered going with her parents and her sisters to a few and falling in love with the place. And she worked tirelessly to gather a recipe book that would tickle the patrons stomachs. She knew the types of food people wanted when they went to get liquored up. She even brought it with her to the meetings. After some convincing, she received a loan and purchased a building for her restaurant, got it cleaned, the electricity and plumbing all set up, the works. However, while she had a general idea of the restaurant, she ran into a problem.

 

What is the theme going to be?

 

That was something that hadn’t crossed her mind until the human world showed off a variety of bars, taverns, and restaurants each with their own gimmick. And naturally, she felt overwhelmed. She had damn near panic attack when her sister, who helped put the place together offered support, and a idea. It was after a few beers, her sister, Mari, said. “You know, I’ve seen some restaurants where the staff are women, and they have huge personalities.” She jiggled her own big bosums to show the emphasis.

 

Betty hesitated She had heard of these types of establishments, breast-raunts as they were called. She didn’t want to be known as a place that had staff with huge bosums! It’s an eatery with great food!

 

But then Mari said. “Do both.”

 

Betty was nervous, but decided to try it out. Mari had a bunch of construction pals who were looking for a change in career and happily would be waitresses. But now came the name. What do you name a restaurant that’s full of bovine mamano with huge tits?

 

Betty thought hard until she saw a meme about how men love mommy milkers.

 

And that’s how the restaurant got its name, Milkers.

It became popular with men of course, because the staff were known for having ballooned chests just itching to burst out of those tight black shirts. But, the food brought them back for more. Wings, brisket, sandwiches, burgers, everything a man could want. It also helped that the milk and all the milk products like cheese curds and mozzarella sticks, even the milk shakes were made in house. After all, having a bunch of bovine mamano helped cut down on those expenses.

 

However, while the restaurant is a success, Betty continued to find herself stressed about the finances. Bills, pay, everything. She had trouble balancing the budget.

 

Mari poked her head into the office, seeing the smoke come out of her sister’s mind as she slaved over the bills. She shook her head. Her sister spent most of her time in her office. She came out only to check on the kitchen, if there was a customer service problem, or to occasionally run the bar.

 

“Beeeetttyyyy,” Mari said softy.

 

Betty didn’t even notice. She scratched her head as she fumbled over the numbers. “Damn it, should I do delivery? With fuel costs rising…”

 

“Beeeeeeettttyyyyyyy.”

 

“It could open more opportunities…but that’s what the delivery apps do…”

 

Mari sighed and went up to the enamored minotaur. She picked up a giant tax code book and dropped it right next to her.

 

BAM!

 

Betty yelped and  jumped up, looking wildly around. “What the hell?”

 

“I think it’s your turn to work the bar tonight.”

 

“What?” Betty checked the schedule. “Let me see….is it Tuesday?”

 

“Its Thursday.”

 

Betty slowly craned her neck toward her sister. “You are joking?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Well, according to the schedule I’m not on..”

 

“Are you sure?” Mari smiled. “Because, I think you are.”

 

“If you are trying to gaslight me into doing your work…”

 

Mari motioned with her eyes to the bar. “There’s a special someone there.”

 

Betty stiffened and stood up like an automaton. She grabbed an apron off a rack and put it in. “How long has he been here?”

 

“He just walked in.”

 

Betty worked the bar on occasion, mostly to cover shifts, and she found it less stressful than finance. It’s a good way to mingle with the customers, but there’s one certain customer she likes to serve as well as chat with.

 

She emerged from her office and scanned the bar. He was in usual spot, wearing a black, ratty business suit that showed signs of overwork and was just as messy as his brown hair. His pale skin was white as milk and bags under his eyes sat Michael.

 

By all means, he looked exhausted. His tired eyes connected with Betty and he smiled. She instantly mozied over to him, with a smile on her face

 

“They got you working the bar again?” he asked with exhaustion in his voice.

 

“Yep, but it’s not so bad, gives me a break from the finances,” Betty chuckled.

 

“Wish I could get a break,” Michael shuddered. “Accounting is rough on me.”

 

“The usual then?”

 

“Make it a double.”

 

Michael would order a whiskey sour whenever he came into the bar. She collected a few more drink orders from the patrons and whipped them up. She slide Michaels drink over to him and he drank it down quickly. He trembled as the extra whiskey burned his throat and gave him a  good kick to the head.

 

“That’s a good drink,” he said to her.

 

“Thanks!” Betty smiled. “You want some food?”

 

Michael scratched his chin. “Maybe an appetizer.”

 

“Oooo! Well, if you want, my chief is working on some new deep friend jalapeño poppers!”

 

“Those sound good…could I get some cheese curds with that?”

 

“Of course! You know they are homemade!”

 

Michael chuckled. “Using your milk?”

 

Betty blushed. “Well..I think it’s my milk this time, but…you know a lot of my workers contribute…but..it may be mine and….and…” she clenched her mouth shut. “I’ll get those right out for you.”

 

She rushed to the kitchen and groaned into her hands.

 

Her top chief, a shoggoth looked up from her duties. “What did you say this time?”

 

“He asked if my milk was in the cheese curds…and I kinda rambled.”

 

The shoggoth tsked. “And there wasn’t any alcohol in your system.”

 

The kitchen staff of her restaurant were non-bovine. The shoggoth, who they called L because the last time Betty tried to say her name, she ended passing out and seeing some very horrifying images in the span of 15 seconds. L came here wanting to bring an exquisite taste to the humans and mamano. Betty still remembered when she emerged from a portal for the interview right into her office.

 

“Eh, hermana, you gonna fuck him?” a ocelemeh named Maitane snorted. She was from south of the border, and brought a lot of spice to the table. She had to be reeled in a lot because her spices were a little too much, but she added some flair to the wing sauce.

 

“Don’t be crude,” snapped a salamander as she molded a hamburger patty. Her name is Yor. Despite being a warrior, she really had a knack for the culinary arts, she’s skilled with smoking meats, slicing and dicing. She was also head of the kitchen.

These three ladies provided the soul to the food. Each bringing their own taste and flair to the food.  while also following the recipes. Except the only problem is they have a tendency to try and outdo each other.

“Now, I haven’t…we are still talking…” Betty stammered.

Maitane laughed. “For three months? Girl, just show him your ass!”

 

“Hey! Don’t talk to the boss that way!” Yor said.

 

“It’s fine,” she chewed her lip nervously. “I need an order of cheese curds and jalepeño poppers.”

 

“I’ll make it extra special for him,” L said.

 

Betty thanked her and turned around to leave.

 

L clicked her tongue. “By the way….I got a new wing sauce recipe I want to try out.”

 

Betty turned around, nervous. “L….how spicy is this?”

 

One of the ways the kitchen staff try to outdo each other is wing sauces. L and Maitane were the most heated because they tried to make the most spiciest sauces. Yor stuck with more medium level or non-spicy flavors. There’s nothing wrong with a little spice, but the problem is their stuff was known for tearing apart your guts to where you might need to go to the hospital.

 

But damn was it tasty.

 

“Better than the spicy mustard wings,” L scoffed.

 

“You bitch! Those were perfect! Gives a kick and a sweet flavor!” Maitane hissed. “It was like a honey barbecue sauce!”

 

“And those were very popular,” Betty said politely. “It was nice to have a new sauce that didn’t end with someone needing an entire pitcher of water.”

 

“But where’s the danger?” L huffed. “My recipe is perfect.”

 

Betty rubbed her nose. “What’s in it?”

 

“Mutated ghost peppers from my dimension, fire golem extract, and a pinch of scorpion venom.”

 

“Are you trying to kill my customers?!??” Betty balked.

 

“Relax, the extract has been reduced to where it’ll cause a slight burning, and I’ve diluted the venom. It’s only meant to give it a kick and paralyze the taste buds.”

 

“Paralyze!?!?”

 

“The taste buds! I’ve worked out the kinks to where it’ll most likely not paralyze the customer.”

“Most likely?!?!”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And how sure are you of that?”

 

L stroked her hair with a tentacle as she thought. “Hmmmmm, 75% at most, I haven’t tested it yet.”

 

Betty groaned.

 

“Food’s on!” Yor said. “Go get him boss.”

 

Betty grabbed the food and brought it out to Michael. He was already halfway done with his drink. The alcohol had increased his appetite, so the moment he saw the food, his mouth watered.

 

He took a whiff of the fried delectables as Betty placed it in front of him. “That’s delicious!”

 

“Oh that’s just the alcohol talking,” Betty teased.

 

“Maybe, but I could use another drink to go with this,” Michael said as he raised his glass.

 

“Coming right up!” Betty first got the other customers their drinks. She wished it was just Michael at the bar, but she had a job to do. But being the bartender allowed her to interact with him sparingly. Not enough time for flirting, but enough to converse. After serving several people drinks, she brought Michael his whiskey sour.

 

“I made it a double, again,” she said as she handed it to him.

 

“Thanks,” Michael popped a cheese curd into his mouth. “Delicious as always.”

 

“Ah, thanks,” Betty sighed. Everyone else was enjoying food and drinks, which gave her the opportunity to stay near Michael and do some light cleaning, and start another conversation.

 

“Something on your mind?” asked Michael.

 

“Oh the usual, finances, work….and one of my chiefs is trying to push another uber spicy wing sauce,” Betty sighed.

 

“How spicy?”

 

Betty gritted her teeth nervously. “It has mutated ghost peppers and spider venom in it.”

 

“Venom?”

 

“Apparently  it gives it a kick.”

 

“That sounds like it’ll burn your eyebrows off.”

 

“More like put you on the transplant list for a new small intestine,” Betty laughed dryly.

 

Michael laughed. It sounded like an alcohol induced laugh, being that it was loud and he slammed his hand against the bar like he was rewatching The Naked Gun , but it made Betty smile. “You gotta test it out on someone.”

 

“No way!”

 

“Look, here’s my advice,” Michael motioned Betty to come closer.

 

Despite his slightly intoxicated state, Michael was good at giving business and financial advice. Michael had advised her to start using their own milk for milkshakes and all dairy related products, which cut a lot of expenses down, though she did have to pay her workers for their milk, so she used her own as much as possible. He also helped her find some tax loopholes to save money, such as finding business expenses and building a retirement account.

 

“Look, the best way to test it, is make it one of those challenge wings,” he whispered.

 

“What?”

 

“You know, if you eat these spicy wings in a certain amount of time, your meal’s free, you have them sign a waiver and everything so they know the risk.”

 

“Does that work?”

 

Michael chuckled. “There’s always a sucker who thinks they can do it, get a free meal, but to make it work, no water, no bleu cheese, no nothing, just the wings.”

 

Betty chewed her lip. “And they’ll do it?”

 

Michael laughed. “There’s always some lug that’ll try to show off, and it’ll bring the toughest challengers to try it.”

 

“Ok, that…that could work….”

 

“But remember, the key thing is, they get their meal paid for, and that’s the final check, anything afterwards, they have to pay for.”

 

“Why?”

 

Michael chuckled. “Because, they might try to drain you for more food after that…make sure to explicitly state that your meal is free, but rendering any food or after that, you still have to pay for, you don’t want some family reunion coming in and trying to drain you for more food or drink.”

 

Betty thought for a moment, it sounded like a brilliant idea. “I’ll take note of that.”

 

Michael nodded. “Can I get the check? Gotta get home.”

 

“Of course!”

 

“I believe in miracles! Where’d you go? You sexy thing!”

 

Michael smiled and laughed dryly. “I like this song!”

 

Betty wore a petrified smile. She snapped her neck toward the jukebox. Her sister smirked. She had this habit of playing some romantic song while Betty was talking to Michael. Except it was embarrassing!!!!

 

“I’ll kill you!” Betty mouthed.

 

Mari pursed her lips and made kissing sounds, at least Betty assumed she was because she couldn’t hear it from across the way.

 

She looked back at Michael. “I’ll get your check right away.”

 

Michael paid his check and left, and Betty worked the bar the rest of the night until closing time.

 

When the final customer left, Betty angrily set her sights on Mari.

 

Mari smirked at her. “So, ask him out yet?”

 

“YOU!” Betty growled. “WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?”

 

“Gotta start the spark somehow!” laughed Mari.

 

The rest of the staff laughed too. It was an open secret among staff she had a crush on Michael. So they knew he was off limits. Of course, they enjoyed watching as she tried to flirt with him, which mostly consisted of her failing to flirt.

 

“It…it takes time!” Betty balked.

 

“Gardening takes less time thant his, you’ve been at this for three months,” snickered Mari. “Did they teach you to take it slow and steady in business school?”

 

“Look…he’s…he’s a customer…and…you can’t…date a customer…”

 

Mari rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to go to HR for that.”

 

A ditzy blonde haired holstaur named Alexis then chimed in. “Have you tried sucking his dick?”

 

Betty sputtered. “That..that is inappropriate!”

 

“But that’s what I do to my husband every night, and it works,” she sighed. “God I love his cock.”

“You are married!”

 

“But you love him right?”

 

Betty looked down, her face burning. “Now….we…we interact…but…love…love is…”

 

“Do not say it’s a strong word,” Mari said. “Come on, you are heavily crushing on him, now ask him on a date!”

 

“I…I…I…”

 

A long tentacle tapped her on the shoulder. She whirled around to see L. “Excuse me, I came to inquire about my sauce.”

 

Betty remembered Michael’s words. “I think we should try an experiment….”

 

The shoggoth cracked a smile. “Yeeessssss?”

 

“Listen, we use it as a…gimmick.”

 

The shoggoth looked offended. “A gimmick!?!?! That is an insult to the spices!”

 

“Now let me finish, we use it for a contest, like if they can eat them in a certain amount of time, they get their meal for free.”

 

L crossed her arms. “Hmmmmm ok…but they have to eat it in two minutes!!!”

 

“Got it.”

 

“And don’t you dare change the recipe!!!”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

Alexis cozied up to Betty. “You know….I thought of a good way to seduce him…”

 

“What…” Betty’s eyes went wide in horror, she knew what she was talking about. “NO COW PRINT NIGHT!”

 

“Come on! We would make so many tips!”

 

“This is a restaurant and a bar!”

 

“Well,” Mari clicked her tongue. “It’s kind of a breast-raunt already….”

 

“Yeah but….that’s a little too far!”

 

“No kids come in here, so I think we are in the clear.”

 

“No!”

 

Alexis pouted. “But all the other girls are fine with it!”

 

“Liar!” Betty balked.

 

She scanned her fellow workers, they nodded in agreement with Alexis.

 

“Besides, you could wear a cow print with us,” Alexis said.

 

“And why would I do that?”

 

The staff smirked and winked at her.

 

“What?” she asked.

 

Mari put her arm around Betty’s shoulder. “I think a certain patron would be infatuated with you.”

 

Betty pursed her lips. “I mean…I don’t know…well…well……”

 

Mari pulled her tighter. “Come on, you got a nice pair, and maybe if you are lucky, he’ll want a milkshake.”

 

“Well, our milkshakes are delicious….HEY!”

 

The staff laughed.

 

“That one was so obvious!” laughed Alexis.

 

“Stop talking!” Betty balked.

 

“So, cow print night?” Mari asked.

 

Betty huffed. “You have to buy your own ok?”

 

The staff whooped.

 

“But kitchen staff wear normal clothes!”

 

There was a groan from Maitaine, but L and Yor didn’t care.

 

“This Friday, got it?”

 

The staff agreed and everyone went home, except for Mari and Betty.

 

“So, Friday?” Mari asked slyly.

 

“Yes,” Betty replied

 

“And that’s the day Mr. Michael normally comes to the bar?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Hmmmm, well we need to do some shopping then.”

 

Friday

 

Business for Milkers was booming. While Fridays are normally a busy, the fact that a bunch of cowgirls were wearing cow print themed lingerie made things hotter.

 

Booths were crowded with men drooling over the staff. There were a some women there with their husbands. It seemed like a risky move but they were making sure their husbands eyes were on the food, not the women.

 

Alexis walked by a table full of dark elves. The trio of elves snickered at her.

 

Alexis being dimwitted, didn’t’ take notice that they were laughing at her. “Enjoying your drinks?”

 

“Yes,” one dark elf said. “But I have a question….does your husband know you are dressing like that?”

 

Alexis smiled dimwittedly, taking the dark elves sly remark as a legit question. “Yep! And God damn is he gonna fuck me good tonight, nearly came in late because he couldn’t stop pounding me, want to see the video I took?”

 

The dark elves eyes went wide as she fiddled with her phone.

 

Mari then swooped in. “Hahaha, she’s kidding.”

 

“No I wasn’t,” Alexis cocked her head.

 

The dark elves looked disappointed, wanting to see the holstaur get dicked down.

 

Mari dragged Alexis away. “Stop trying to show people your porno!”

 

“It’s not porn! It’s romantic!”

 

“Shut it!”

 

While everyone was getting their fair share of eyes on them, one girl was getting the whole cream of the crop.

 

Betty looked flushed as the bar was crowded. They found a cow print bra for her massive bosoms, though everyone could see a nice amount of tit meat spilling over. She felt awkward, but she did her job. She originally wanted to stay in her office until Michael arrived, but Mari forced her to come out. She wore the cow print bra and short shorts. Mari tried to get her to wear a thong, but Betty put her foot down.

 

“So…another White Russian?” Betty asked.

 

“Yep,” the patron giggled. “And…it comes fresh from the teet, right?”

 

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” Betty thought as she rolled her eyes as she made him the drink. “Where is Michael?”

 

She planned this for him, of course he didn’t know but she didn’t want to have to keep doing cow print night!

 

Mari went towards the kitchen to grab some more food. Betty stopped her. “Have you seen him?”

 

“If I see him, I’ll let you know.”

 

“Please do,” Betty looked at her massive mounds. “I feel weird.”

 

“You should feel sexy.”

 

“But it’s weird, like….” she jostled her breasts. “Men like this?”

 

Mari chuckled. “Be thankful we aren’t doing leopard print night.”

 

Betty kept a straight face as she served drinks, keeping an eye on the tip jar which was growing every minute.

 

She hoped Michael would show up. It wasn’t a date, but she was hoping this might lead to something, or at least they would be able to talk. Granted yes, their conversations were brief. But she did have some feelings for him. She struggled with dating, focusing more on her business.

 

Mari then came up to her with a big grin on her face. “Heeeee’s here!”

 

Betty shot her head toward the end of the bar. Michael sat there, his suit looking rattier, with deep bags under his eyes. He looked exhausted. Betty gulped and went up to him. “Evening.”

 

Michael didn’t even acknowledge the cow print and grumbled. “The usual, make it a double…and bring me a Long Island Ice Tea.”

 

That was some heavy orders. She went about making it for him. While she mixed the drink she felt confused. This should have brought out the animal in him, or at least gotten her a compliment. Then again, he could be exhausted from work. That normally happens. Sometimes you go onto autopilot and forget to notice things, like a minotaur with a hefty rack held back by cow print lingerie.

 

She brought him his drinks and he downed them quickly. Both of them. That was at least 8 shots of alcohol in total. He would be on the floor. But he took it and asked for another.

 

Betty did, shocked by his prowess.

 

“HEY BARTENDER!”

 

Betty looked to see a grinning hellhound with her nervous mate at the bar. She went over to her. “Yes?”

 

The hellhound smiled slyly. She pointed to a sign that read.

 

Try the Death Wing Challenge: Eat in 2 minutes and Your Meal is Free

 

“Is that true?” the hellhound asked.

 

“Yes it is.”

 

The hellhounds eyes lit up. “Then put me down for a bucket of those.”

 

Her husband looked at her nervously. “Honey, you don’t have to do this.”

 

The hellhound patted his head. “Nonsense, I said I would treat you, and I aim to keep my promise.”

 

“It’s only $50, I have the money.”

 

She pressed a finger to his mouth to shush him.

 

Betty gulped. “Ok, that should be out shortly.”

 

She went to the kitchen where L was preparing her food. L looked up.

 

“Someone ordered the Death Wings,” Betty said

 

L smiled. “It’s about time.”

 

L got to work saucing the wings. Betty grabbed a waiver and brought it to the hellhound. “I just need you to sign this.”

 

The hellhound took it and laughed. “You are going all out for this.”

 

“Its just to be on the safe side.”

 

The hellhound signed it and waited for her wings.

 

Betty looked over at Michael, who now had a small smile on his face.

 

“I see you took my idea,” he chuckled.

 

“Well….we’ll see how this turns out,” Betty fiddled with her fingers.

 

L brought out a big bowl of wings, she looked at the hellhound. “There are 24 wings in total, you have to eat all of them in two minutes, no bleu cheese, no beer, no water.”

 

The hellhound huffed. “Too, easy.”

 

L kept a straight face, though Betty could tell she was vexed by the hounds comments. Though the hound would learn her lesson. She twisted up an egg timer. “You start now!”

 

The hound licked her lips. Betty and Michael, along with a few other patrons eagerly awaited to see what would happen. What happened next shocked Betty, Michael, and even L. The hellhound picked up the bowl and poured the wings into her wide open mouth, bones and all. The staff were horrified that she was guzzling the wings like it was the last bit of milk from a cereal bowl. Even her husband was shocked. She chewed up the mass, the grotesque sound of bones snapping as she chewed it all down made Betty’s stomach churn.

 

“I thought dogs couldn’t eat bones,” she thought.

 

The hellhound then swallowed the meal and smirked. “Done.”

 

Betty gawked, L made it seem like those wings were the spiciest thing on the planet.  “Well…your meal is free. Let me get your check.”

 

“Good,” the hound squeaked.

 

Betty thought nothing of it at first as she went to get the check, but then she caught the sinister site of L smiling. Betty turned around with the check and could see why L was smiling. The hellhounds eyes were watering, her tail was wagging nervously, and sweat was pouring down her face.

 

“Here…you go…” Betty handed the check to her.

 

“Thanks,” rasped the hellhound. She turned to her husband and smiled painfully. “I…I..told you..this is on…on…”

 

L smirked. “Wait for it.”

 

The hellhound let out a guttural scream as she gagged and panted. “HOT! HOT!! HOT!”

 

Betty was glad the hellhound had signed the waiver, but she couldn’t let a customer suffer.
“GET HER SOME….HOLY SHIT!”

 

The hellhound in a panic reached across the bar and grabbed a beer keg. It wasn’t even open yet and didn’t have a pump. She bit into the keg like it was a burger, and beer shot inot her mouth. Alcohol poured down her chest, but she latched her lips onto the hole and shotgunned the rest.  he whole bar looked in awe as she downed an entire keg in just 2 minutes.

She then dropped the keg to the floor, her eyes were crossed and hazy. “Better.”

 

She then dropped to the floor with a bang.

 

Her husband looked embarrassed. “Uh…do I have to pay for that?”

 

Part of Betty wanted to say no, but however, Michael did tell her that the contest covered their meal on the check, anything after that the had to pay for. “Yes.”

 

Her husband sighed. “How much?”

 

Betty looked over at Michael, who held up three fingers.

 

“$300.”

 

Her husband handed her his credit card. He looked down to see his wife whimpering. “Suh-ry hunny.”

 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.”

 

“I..I wanted tuh take yuh out,”  she sniffled. “And now..you pay…”

 

“Relax,” he got his credit card and helped her stand up. “What you need is a good nights sleep.”

 

She smiled drunkenly and licked his cheek. “Oh…you sweet….you…can be…on top…tonight.”

 

After that incident Betty went back over to Michael. “Well….I ended up making a profit off that.”

 

“What did I tell you?” Michael smiled.

 

After that, more people started ordering the wings. Needless to say, not everyone was able to pass the challenge, but beer and alcohol sales were through the roof.  As the night went on, more people went home, and soon, there was less people at the bar, leaving time for just Michael, and Betty.

 

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, are you ok?” Betty asked.

 

Michael had been drinking nonstop the night, so he was a little more than buzzed. “Yeah…just work….God…it’s rough.”

 

“You are an accountant, right?”

 

“Yep… gotta find the loopholes…make the purchases…balance the budget,” he sighed. “God it’s exhausting.”

 

Betty bit her lip. He looked hurt, and he needed a cheering up.

 

If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, Come on sugar let me know

If you really need me just reach out and touch me, Come on honey tell me so

 

She shot a look over to her sister who is, as expected, near the jukebox. Mari and the staff snickered.

 

“Hey…can I get…” Michael thought for a moment. “A..White Russian?”

 

“Of course!” Betty went to make  the drink, and easy one. She then looked down at her chest, then back at Michael. She could get the milk from the back…or from her..but is that ethical. She looked over at him again, nervous.

 

Mari then snuck over to Betty.

 

“Need some help?” Mari whispered.

 

Betty stammered “With..with…”

 

Without hesitation, Mari grabbed Betty’s tit and gave it a firm squeeze. Betty clamped her hands over her mouth as milk filled the glass. She looked at Mari with a death stare, but Mari only smiled. “Now go ahead and give him his drink.”

 

Betty, despite being flustered, made his drink and brought it over to him. Michael instantly brought it to his lips, when he stopped. He smacked his lips, tasting the drink.

 

“Is everything ok?” Betty asked.

 

“Tastes warm..but fresh….” he smiled. “This is amazing!”

 

Betty smiled. “I’m glad! It’s fresh around here!”

 

Michael polished it off, then motioned for another. And Betty obliged, providing another glass of titmilk and vodka.

 

“This drink really helps,” Michael said.

 

“How long have you been working as an accountant?” Betty asked.

 

Michael sighed. “Ever since I got out of college.”

 

“Wow! That’s really lucky!”

 

“Yeah…I guess..”

 

“You must be rolling in dough, I assume.”

 

“Oh yeah…it pays well…hours suck though…a lot,” Michael looked down as he drank.

 

“Well.. if you think about it, with all that money…you should be able to…well…have some fun,” Betty nervously fiddled with her fingers.

 

“I’m so busy…” Michael sighed, his eyes looking foggy. “It’s just no stop work…another please.”

 

She made him another drink and gave it to him. “Well….you must me some great people….maybe some ladies.”

 

Suddenly, as if someone flipped a switch in Michael’s mind, he buried his hands into his face, crying.

 

Betty froze, she wasn’t sure what she said, and she didn’t expect that. “Hey..hey, I’m sorry…”

 

“It’s not your fault,” sobbed Michael. “It’s just…just….I’ve been working at that job for 8 years! And in that time….I’ve done nothing! Just worked! No fun, no dates! The last date I had was back in college! And I…I…I feel like a drone!”

 

“The work you do must be…important, right?”

 

Michael laughed dryly as he cried. “It’s the same thing every day, calculate numbers, and…God damn it…I’m so tired! I…I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle of just working and working! I feel…I feel like I’ve wasted everything!”

 

“But you are 28! That’s still plenty of time!”

 

He sniffled. “It seems like it…but…I sometimes feel like it’s a lie.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I work hard, I put in the effort and yet…..I don’t have anything to show for it aside from money…I don’t have… a lover…my job makes it hard for me to meet girls….and…I’m just worried I’ll work another 8 years without meeting someone..could I get another? Or…will I just be a workaholic the rest of my life?”

 

This time Betty made it right in front of him absentmindedly, but Michael’s eyes were glued to the bar that he didn’t even notice. She gave him the drink, and he knocked it back in seconds. “Thanks…” he looked at her. “Hey…sorry for…dumping all that on you.”

 

“Oh it’s ok..I mean that’s what a bartender is for, right?”

 

“Yeah….probably better than a therapist,” he laughed dryly.

 

Betty bit her lips. He had just bared his soul to her, and what was she doing? Just talking and serving him drinks?!?!? He also just said he hasn’t been with a woman! Or dated one! The signs were there!

 

“Hey…you know….maybe I could help you,” Betty stammerd.

 

“With what?”

 

“Well…you know…I could…help get you out of your funk.” Betty winked awkwardly.

 

Michael smiled. “I’m flattered but….I don’t want to jump right into a relationship with sex.”

 

Betty gulped. She wasn’t implying sex! Ok, maybe just a little, but she was thinking maybe a kiss or something! “Oh no! I wasn’t thinking that!”

 

Michael looked down grimly. “Damn it, I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to imply, I’m sorry I just…no offense…heard things about mamano.”

 

“No I mean..I was…going to…going to….” Betty’s mind thought rapidly. What could she do!??!!? Then something came into her mind. “Offer you…a….nursing…handjob?”

 

Michael cocked his head. “A handjob?”

 

“A nursing…handjob….”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Well…it’s…where….you….suck…” Betty felt her face burn. “My…tits while…I….handjob you?”

 

Betty grimaced when she realized she said, ‘handjob you.’

 

Michael smiled. “Hey…thanks for the offer…but…I will admit…I’m drunk…and….I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

 

“Oh of course not.”

 

Michael looked at his watch, it was about time for Milkers to close. “Well…hey…thanks for listening to me.” He took out his wallet and produced his credit card. “Give yourself a good tip.”

 

He paid for his drinks, and Betty did give herself a 20% tip, and then he left.

 

Betty forced a smile and whispered. “Have a good night.”

 

The moment he left, she groaned and doubled over onto the bar. “I am such an idiot!”

 

Mari came over to her. “What happened?”

 

Painfully, Betty groaned. “I…I..I…I offered him a nursing handjob.”

 

Mari winced. “Ouch.”

 

“And he declined politely….but I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF!”

 

Mari held her embarrassed sister. “Hey relax.”

 

“Relax?” Betty looked at her sister dumbfounded. “I offered a God damn handjob and he turned it down, right after he poured his heart out to me!”

 

“Well…if you think about it…”

 

“No! I am not thinking about it,” Betty sighed. “Look, just…help me close up.”

 

Mari helped Betty clean up. Betty took her time, she needed to forget what just happened, and maybe she could numb her embarrassment with hard work.

 

It took her a half hour, and she finally left. She put on a large duster coat and went to her car, ready to go home and sulk. Hopefully the embarrassment wouldn’t give her nightmares.

 

“Hey!”

 

The familiar voice made her whirl around in shock. There was Michael, standing in the parking lot. He looked nervous. “So…I just want to say..I’m not stalking you.”

 

Betty wanted to retort, but a knot formed in her throat.

 

“I…I was in my car….I was going to call an Uber….but….I don’t I….kinda zoned out..and…I’m sober now and….look….” he scratched the back of his head. “I…I gotta ask…when you were listening to me….did you offer me a…handjob?”

 

“Nursing handjob,” Betty squeaked.

 

Michael nodded. “Um…look…I….I’m sober now…and…well…listen I understand if you want to tell me to fuck off….but….is that offer still on the table?”

 

Betty’s mouth went dry. Is this happening? Is this a dream? Is he standing in front of her asking for a nursing handjob? Taking her offer?

 

Nervously, she replied. “Yes.”

 

Michael gulped. “Ok…uh…..could I…have that?”

 

Betty stared at him, trying to keep herself together. “Get in the car, we’ll go to my place.”

 

*****

The car ride there was silent. Both of them stared straight ahead. Both had no experience when it came to anything sex related.

 

Betty was going off a erotic manga she read. Michael on the other hand hadn’t even gotten this far with a girl.

 

They got to her house, a small one bedroomed house with a kitchen, a bathroom,  and a basement. Michael first noticed that the house was not decorated, aside from some furniture.

 

“Are you a minimalist?” he asked.

 

“No…just..not much time..for decorating,” Betty stammered nervously. She puffed out some air.

 

“Are..you ok?” Michael asked.

 

“Yeah…yeah…just…not used to this,” she put her hands on her knees. “Oh boy…”

 

Michael looked at the ground. “Look….if you aren’t comfortable…we could….cuddle?”

 

“No..no..” she shook her head. “Just…take off your clothes.”

 

Betty’s heart raced. She glanced at Michael as he nervously took off his suit.

 

“Uh…so listen,” he said as he unbuttoned his shirt. “You promise you aren’t gonna..you know….try to hop on me.”

 

“Why would I jump on you?” Betty asked.

 

“No like…” Michael was trying to choose his word carefully. “Well…I heard that minotaurs…can be…forceful…”

 

“Oh…oh no!” Betty irked. “I would never..I promise…you’ll get a nursing handjob!”

 

“Ok,” Michael took off his shirt and undershirt.

 

Betty blushed. Michel definitely hadn’t been out in the sun much, his body was slim, but he was cute!!!

 

Trembling, he took off his pants, revealing his white underpants.

 

Betty bit her lips, tighty whities on a tight white body?!?!?! She rubbed her legs together tightly.

 

Finally, he dropped the underpants. Instinctively, he covered his privates. “So..now what?”

 

Betty cleared her throat. “I’ll get on the couch…and then…you rest your head in my lap.”

 

Michael nodded. Betty removed her jacket, and then her top. She was about to say no peeking when she remembered what she was about to do. She then sat down, her thick thighs squishing together. Her heart raced. “Ok…now come over.”

 

Michael nodded and followed. He sat next to her on the couch. “So…I just lay my head down?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ok….” Michael adjusted himself. He laid his head on her soft thighs. He gripped the couch. Her tits covered his face, he couldn’t see her face.

 

Betty felt nervous, he was in her lap! NAKED!!!! She looked over at his half mast cock. She hadn’t seen a penis before. She reached over and fondled his circumcised cock.

 

Michael moaned a little bit, not used to his cock getting touched.

 

“Did I hurt you?” Betty asked anxiously.

 

“No, you are good,” Michael responded.

 

“Ok…now…suck.”

 

“Suck what?”

 

“My…my tits.”

 

“Oh….ok,” Michael extended his lips and got them around her massive tits, with areolas the size of pepperonis.

 

Betty knew how gifted she was to have tits this massive. She felt his lips gently brush against her breasts, before latching on. He sucked gently on her tits. He then felt the warm rush of milk enter his mouth.But he didn’t panic,  it felt soothing. It was like a nice cup of tea, relaxing his body. His mind felt clearer, and more at ease.

 

Betty moaned softly, feeling his generous, yet tender suckling on her mounds. She reached over and played with his cock. She felt his moans stifled by her mounds. She fiddled with his flaccid cock, feeling it grow harder with every stroke.

 

Michael moaned softly, sucking harder on her tits. Her warm milk made him feel drunk. His body melted into her thighs as well. He felt so relaxed. All the brain fog in his mind from work, was slowly clearing.

 

As for Betty, she felt his cock grow harder and harder. She finally could wrap her hands around it.

 

Michael bucked his hips. Her soft hands felt amazing!

 

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Just relax, let me take care of you.”

 

“I think this is what you are supposed to do,” Betty thought. She slowly started pumping up and down. Michael’s virgin cock buzzed with pleasure. He didn’t buck his hips, as he listened to her. He just focused on sucking down her milk while she took care of the rest.

 

“My goodness…his penis feels nice,” Betty thought. “I hope I’m stroking it right.”

 

She felt his shaft get stickier as she pumped quicker. “Did he cum? No this is just…pre-cum, yes that’s what they call it!”

 

She scaled it back, not wanting to rush things. She could hear his frustrated moans. She rubbed his head and cooed. “Just…just relax…we don’t want this to end just yet.”

 

She kept stroking slowly, teasing him slightly.

 

Michael’s mind was in bliss. The pleasure of her soft strokes, mixed with the milk and warm tits put him in a state of relaxation he hadn’t felt in ages. Every stroke, every bit of milk that washed down his throat. He felt the stress of work wash away like never before. Betty increased her pace, pumping faster and faster. Michael’s moans went from a nice hum, to a loud groan that was muffled by her tits. She liked this. While her own womanhood throbbed, she loved that he was here. She longed for this for so long, fearing a gentle caress or touch.

“You are good boy, Michael,” she whispered. “You deserve this.”

 

Michael groaned in response. She pumped faster and faster. “You are not a machine, you are a man.”

 

She jerked him off faster and faster, feeling him get close to the end. “Let it all out, let it all out for me. Cum for me, cum for me!”

 

That was dialogue from that erotic manga, but it worked. With a weak and muffled groan, Michael released large shots of cum. He had been backed up for a long time, and now he was able to be released.

 

Betty was surprised by how much he came. It shot all the way to her tits, and on the couch. She will clean that tomorrow.

 

She then felt him relax, the sucking stopped. She parted her tits to see he him fast alseep. She smiled and kissed his forehead before picking him up and carrying him to her room. She set him down, then looked at her hand. It was covered in his cum. Curious, she licked.

 

“Not bad,” she thought. She cleaned up her hand, then looked at his cock, it still has some cum on it. “Well….wouldn’t hurt.”

 

****

 

Michael woke up, feeling warm, and relaxed. He felt something really warm on his back. He peered over his shoulder to see Betty snuggling him. He smiled, for the first time in a long time, he felt alive. It wasn’t the morning yet, it was still dark. However, normally when he woke up at night, his only motivation to get back to sleep was so maybe he could shut down his mind before guzzling coffee in the morning to motivate him to go to work. But now, he felt utterly joyful. He rolled over and hugged her, burning his face into her bosom, drifting back into a slumber.

 

*****

Betty woke up and checked her clock, 8 am. She had to get to work in a couple hours. She felt something warm and stirring in her chest. She looked down to see Michael buried in her chest. She felt hot.

 

“Oh my…I did it…and we are cuddling!!!” she thought.

 

Now she was facing a new problem, how to move without waking him up.

 

She tapped his head. “Hey.”

 

He opened his eyes and smiled. “God damn, what a dream and what a woman.”

 

She blushed. “So…how do you feel?”

 

“I feel, like a new man,” he smiled. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem…um…I gotta get ready for now,” she said nervously.

 

She got up and started getting dressed. Michael looked at her.

 

“Hey, I gotta question,” he asked.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you need an accountant for your restaurant?”

 

Betty’s heart raced. “Well…yes….”

 

“So you are hiring?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Michael smiled. “Could I interview for the job?”

 

Betty gawked. “But..your other job.”

 

“Screw that place, I think I would rather be with a boss that appreciates me,” he winked at her.

 

Betty smiled. “You’re hired.”

 

“Excellent, and can I apply for another position?”

 

“What?”

 

He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “To be your boyfriend.”

 

Betty covered her mouth and squealed.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes?” Michael asked.

 

She hugged him tightly. “I wanted this…for so long, but I was nervous.”

 

“Well, after last night, you cured me of my depression, and now, I can see you for who you are, a perfect woman.”

 

They hugged for awhile, before getting dressed.

 

A new day, but a different line of work for Michael. Sure it didn’t pay as well as the other job, but after his number crunching, they were turning a huge profit. But he gained something better than money, love.

 

Betty finally could stress less, as if she was every frustrated by numbers she could go to her numbers guy.

 

It’s a win-win for both.

And all it took was a nursing handjob.

 

Hi everyone! This was an entry into Unit_ZER0’s writing contest, the theme: Have a drink on me

I hope you all enjoyed it, as I loved writing this. If you would like to support me, check out my Buy me coffee on my page, anything helps. I hope you enjoyed this wonderfil minotaur fic 

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