Intoxicating Nectar
By: Sukiru Ikeda
It was a Saturday afternoon and all my friends were busy doing things. so I decided to take a walk through the jogging path since it was a nice day, with the sun shining ever so brightly. I left my home and walked through my small neighborhood to the trail in the woods that people would take their bikes and walk through. I walked a good distance on the path only passing a few people and seeing some Harpies in the trees singing gently. As I walked through the woods enjoying my day I hear a voice speak to me from a distance in a very sweet and seductive like tone, the kind of voice of a stripper trying to get you in the back room with her for a dance
“Oh come here dear, my flowers smell so good.” The green skinned beauty said as she motioned to me with her index finger. Me being so enticed by the look of the Green Goddess only a few yards from the jogging path in the woods. “Come here please, I want to talk to you cutie.” she said smiling again closing her bright yellow eyes then motioning again with her finger. “I was told to stay away from Monster Girls miss.” I said starting to walk away from her. Before walking away I heard crying coming from the Alraune, tears streamed down her light green cheeks as she moved her long pink hair out of her face before saying “All you humans are the same, I just want a friend, it gets lonely sitting here by myself with no one all the time”. I looked at her and she did look lonely sitting in that flower every day with no one to talk to. “Not all of us are the same, miss look I have just been told that some Monster Girls are very dangerous and kidnap men never releasing them.” I spoke to her still keeping my distance from her.
The Alraune lifted her head showing me her beautiful eyes with tears still filling them then saying “I am not dangerous, I just want a friend”. I felt really bad for her, so I slowly walked off the jogging path to go talk to her. The Alraune looked up at me approaching her, she quickly started to wipe her tears and perked up a smile as she held out her arms to embrace him as he walked close to her. “You swear you aren’t dangerous?” I say while walking into her arms smiling gently. The Alraune smiled as she embraced me tightly before whispering into my ear “I can be very dangerous”. My heart sank into my stomach hearing those words, then my mind started to think of a possible way out of this situation. The Alarune began to pull me inside of her large pink rose like flower she lived in then muttering the words “Ara ara”. I knew I had to make a break for it this instant or else something bad will happen to me. I looked behind me as she pulled me in to flower with her, I assume she took notice to that and said “Please don’t run, stay here and keep me company cutie.” before smiling at me then placing her sticky green hands on mine. “Look please don’t hurt me ma’am.” I say looking down at the pool of golden liquid in the flower. The Alraune ran her sticky hands across my face and through my dirty blonde hair before whispering in my ear “I would never hurt someone who I intend on making sweet love to”.
My face became instantly red looking back up to her face seeing her blushing just as much as I was, I nervously began to speak the words “You are joking right”? The Alraune moved her insanely long pink hair that was covering most of her reveling her beautiful nude body. Her breasts were the same color as her skin a light green, but her nipples were a dark green with that same golden liquid leaking out of her nipples, also guessing her breast size they had to be at least an “E” cup, her legs and thighs were beautiful and thick as was her ass, and she actually did have something covering her lower region which was just some vines but it was something. While I was admiring her beautiful body, I didn’t notice that her pink flower was adjusting to make the sex that was about to happen a bit more comfortable. “Come to me cutie.” she said reaching out wrapping her arms around my neck. My mind was racing eyeing her body, I secretly wanted her to violate me. The Alraune locked lips with me slipping her long tongue into my mouth swirling it around while she ran her slimy, sticky hands through my hair.
I felt some kind of sweet tasting liquid enter my mouth and slide down my throat, I broke the kiss by force by pushing her by her large breasts, they were really soft and they squirted a bit of the golden liquid that is in her flower. “What on earth did you make me drink?” I asked her as she looked at me in confusion to why I broke the kiss, since it was really nice. “My nectar is what I am making you drink, it will make you lust for me and make love to me making me cum.
I froze a bit in fear to what she said before saying “You pretty much drugged me miss.” I said trying to now get out her flower before that drug took effect. The second I leaned one leg over the side the Alraune pulled me back against her then saying “Where on earth do you think you are going”? I then notice that her flower is starting to close around me and her, she was going to trap me here with her. While I tried to escape her holding me tightly to her sticky and sweet smelling body the flower closed up with only the top having a small hole opening to give them some light. All of a sudden the effects of her nectar punched me in the face, my cock swelled in my pants, I began to sweat, I looked at her nude body which caused my cock to leak precum in my pants, I was losing all control over my feelings and body, I wanted to breed with her, make her have my babies, and cum in all her holes. “Oh darling my Alraune Nectar has taken over, you are eager to bust a massive load deep inside of me, and I am eager for that.” she said reaching for my shirt before she slipped it over my head exposing my young thin body. With the effects of the nectar taking it’s toll on my body, I removed my pants in a hurry exposing my rock hard length for her to see. “I-I-I-I want to put it inside of you miss.” I panted out while eagerly stroking my twitching, engorged cock craving a release.
The Alraune blushed before laying my body into the small pool of the nectar which coated me in a thin layer of the stuff, she then said “I am going to ride you my sweetheart, and you will cum deep inside of my warm dripping pussy until I become pregnant”. With the way I was feeling, I couldn’t argue or fight back against her all I wanted was to have sex with her and pump her full of my sweet seed. She removed the vines from around her waist exposing her green pussy which was also dripping that nectar of her’s, she then squatted down forcing my whole length inside of her warm wet love hole. “Oh, ah, ah come on more give me more.” I instantly gasp feeling the forbidden pleasure of sex with a Monster Girl, I felt like I was in heaven, between the beauty riding my cock, and the intoxicating nectar, I was in heaven.
The Alraune then took my hands before guiding them up her beautiful stomach up to her large breasts once my hands were groping the soft nectar sacs on her chest she moaned and said “You have earned yourself a wife, get used to living here with me”. I still didn’t care, all I wanted was sex, I thrusted under her while massaging her breasts and swallowing the nectar squirting from them keeping my intoxicated state at it’s peak. The Alraune began to scream in pleasure as my thrusts kept getting harder and faster before moaning out “Cum damnit please cum I want my womb filled, Cum”! With those words going through my head I fulfilled her request by pumping her tight, dripping wet pussy with my thick white seed giving her what she wanted. My head was still floating in pleasure and lewd thoughts from the nectar I had been drinking during our sexual intercourse. “I want to fill your ass next.” I managed to say leaning up and sucking on her tits drinking more nectar to increase my euphoric lust. The Alraune smiled a very lewd smile before saying “My body is yours and yours is mine for all eternity”. I didn’t complain…
(Character in the cover by Kenkou Cross)
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Sorry, I couldn’t get very far. You didn’t seem to follow any of the advice I gave you last time. Until you clean this up, I don’t think I’ll be reading it.
A few things, some I’ve already said before:
-don’t capitalize “monster girl” or “green goddess”
-don’t use “ara ara” unless it’s explicitly in an old Japanese setting (although, it shatters immersion regardless of context)
-start a new paragraph every time a new character speaks, including EVERY TIME characters trade dialogue in a conversation
-keep to one tense (past vs. present)
-go through and edit your punctuation and sentence structure -try reading The Elements of Style to get a better grasp on grammar (or, use this to help find things that need editing: http://www.hemingwayapp.com/ )
-read a few good books to analyze style, structure, and grammar of published writers to help you improve
Study, research, and practice are integral to improving one’s writing just like everything else. If you’re at all serious about improving, then it might be a good idea to listen.
Thanks again TB. I actually tried harder to make this one better but it seems I have failed once more. Maybe when I actually decide to do a very serious project then I will begin my studying on what I have been doing wrong. Right now I am just writing smut with no direction while still trying to be somewhat interesting and entertaining.
あらあら, Look, even if you’re not being serious you should at least adhere to the standard forms of the English language.
I mean, sure when you’re good or creative enough to create your own style by breaking rules, then break rules. You don’t seem to know the rules to begin with.
Did you not have creative writing lessons in school? Crack out a text book and check it over and pick up some technique and your stories will be at least readable, rather than interpretable. Crack out a book fullstop.
This reads like an instruction manual. Theres hardly any flow, its brick like dialogue is off putting and robotic, and the amount of grammatical errors is -for lack of a better word- just plain silly.
Theres one sentence in there that has 7 commas in it. Why? Just properly write it out in sequence and connect it all together.
Have you read a decent book lately? Great way to improve writing styles and is a good example on how to properly write.
It, possibly, but not necessarily, have been structured, that is, formatted, in the list style, for instance.
I actually enjoyed that, Alraune fanfics are hard to find.