Goblin Café

“A coffee. Black.” The man didn’t look up from his paper to adress the waitress. He was busy making notes and circling numbers on his financial news. He wasn’t unattractive but he was awfully grey and humourless. Closer to twenty than to thirty his hair was already going white at the sides. The symptom of the stressful life of a workaholic.

When he was brought a menu of confectionary and drinks he was forced to look up from his work and be reminded that he wasn’t where he’d prefer to be. No human was putting the drink on his table, but a small green goblin girl. This wasn’t a rich neighboorhood, where all human citizens congregated, either as movers and shakers themselves or as entourage to people who were. This was the bad part of town, where low level monstergirls ended up, trying to make a living wage. He was probably one of three whole men the goblin had seen in her life.

Goblins rarely stood over three foot tall. The waitress in question had adopted a punk-rock fashion style as not to be confused for a pre-teen with a hormone imbalance. She was eyeing him head to toe, thoughtfully not chewing on her gum when speaking to him, an honor she didn’t grant to just any customer. “Anything else you need, honey?”

He whinced internally at being called honey by a goblin. “Just a coffee, thanks.” He turned his gaze back to his paper as quickly as possible. Goblins looked obscene, proportioned like pointy-eared children but with large breasts and hips that would turn heads when on a full-sized woman but looked clownish and overdone on them. On top of that this one was wearing black lipstick and mascara, with a single lip piercing and a range of ear piercings. Wrapped in ripped clothing and tight jeans like a rebellious daughter.

There were no other customers so th goblin returned to the kitchen with her lack of an order. The building wasn’t specially designed with goblins in mind so she had to stand on her toes to open the door. There she met her sisters. All with the same fashion sense. “Jus’ da coffee ‘e says.” The closest sister made a whiny noise and shook her shoulder. “Aww, Grima. Make ‘im try my apple pie.” “Nah, Maliss.” Grima replied. “This may be the only guy that’s to come to this place ever. So we’s not goin’ to ruin it by bein’ thirsty bitches. A’ight?” The six girls muttered doggedly in obedience to their older sister’s words. “Naw, then. We’s goin’ to be outside the kitchin one at uh time. So we all don’ scare him. Who’s next?” The energy returned to the group as all sisters were trying to cut in line to be next to get a closer look at the real man.

He knew he was being watched. When enough eyes are on you you just know. He was focused on his paper but the little rundown café was so quiet that he could hear the whispers and quiet giggling from beyond the kitchen door. They were looking at him through the window. A new goblin was passing by, he wondered how many of the critters were scurrying about in this place. This one was wiping an obviously already clean floor with her broom. He tried to ignore her but she was getting more and more sensual with the thing, striking poses and showing off her assets. At some point she started using the thing as a dancing pole, swirling around and thrusting her ass into the air. He shot her a look.

It was meant to be annoyed and disinterested but his disgust shone through. He had never been fond of monstergirls and he wasn’t hiding it now. “Could you just get me my coffee? I’m not here to see you present yourself.” He spat at her. The girl looked as if she had been smacked in the face. She dropped her broom and ran into the kitchen.

“Bruta, what’s da mattah? You’s ruinin’ you mascara.” The youngest sister couldn’t keep from crying. It was hard for her to get out an understandable sentence. “H-he hates me!”  “Nah Bruta, he don’ hate ya. He hardly knows ya.” “He does! He thinks I’m disgu-usting.” “Grima, can’t you do something about this?” Grima tapped her feet, immersed in thought. She resolved something. “Let’s bring tha guy ‘is coffee.”

The disgruntled customer had finished his thing and was looking at his watch. The first girl came by again. With his coffee this time. Finally. “What do I owe you?” He was making ready to leave. “This is on the house. Consider it an apology in the name of the café.” He raised an eyebrow. It seemed a bad business model to hand out free drinks but he wasn’t about to protest it. He stood up and gulped the scalding hot liquid all at once. He was in a hurry. She looked up at the tall man and eagerly watched him emtpy the cup, then she stuck out her hand. “I’m the owner of this place.” You don’t let an earnestly tuck out hand hanging, so despite his hurry he bend over and shook it. “The name is Grima.” She said. “So you’ll know what to scream tonight.” He pulled his hand back. Before any more words were said he had left the café.

He was still rubbing his hand against his clothes, trying to clean it of some sort of imaginary goblin contamination when her reached his office, just a few blocks further. The investment bureau could easily afford a more central location in the heart of the city but since everything was connected by internet these days there wasn’t much point to that, other than employee comfort. The money saved was spend on bonuses.

“Kraut! You were supposed to be back here five minutes ago!” His supervisor was roasting him before he was even in his chair. “Yes mr. Eismann, I had some trouble wi- I mean I finished the-” The short balding man didn’t let him finish. “I don’t care what you were doing. I want to see you in that cubicle when it’s time for you to be in that cubicle. Understand?” “Yes, sir.” He slapped the air behind his employees head. “Then get back to work.”

Eismann went back to his office, very content with himself. It was important to keep types like Donald Kraut in line. He was smart in a dumb way. Don only thought in numbers and graphs, never in people and politics. If he had started for himself a few years back he would already have been a millionaire, it was the job of people like Eismann to make sure he didn’t and keep him adding to the bottomline of Oakleaf investments. The best way to do that was to keep the eura of authority. You can’t have people like Kraut thinking for themselves, who knows what they might come up with.

That very same day he had tried to bring up the new location. Eismann was the one who had come with the idea to save costs by relocating to the board, he couldn’t risk doubts about his judgement spreading. “Monstergirls? You’re afriad of monstersgirls? Kraut, what year do you think it is. Don’t you know we have monstergirls on staff right here? You’re lucky I don’t report you to HR, now get back to work.”

Don knew there was something wrong with the argument of his supervisor but he couldn’t prick through it, he had no talent for sophistry. All he knew was that since the relocation his life had become worse. He had been groped in the metro, cat-called in the streets and embarrassed in a café. That wouldn’t happen in the better parts of town were he lived, and there were monstergirls there too. Just.. different sorts of monstergirls.

That evening he didn’t even have the energy to go over the new startups like he usually did, he wanted to go straight to bed. It was strange, like the energy had just been drained out of him. Hopefully it was just a virus and he would be in prime condition the next day. He greeted his neighboor in the hall of the complex, entered his apartment and went straight to bed.

There he had a strange dream. The goblins from the café were back. Dancing before his eyes, showing off their… He shook off the images. The filth had stuck to his head, he needed to just empty his brain and let the nothingness lull him to sleep. But as soon as he closed his eyes the images were back. Goblins. He saw the goblin with the broom again, spinning around the stick, thrusting her assets forwards… This time he wanted to see more of it. Then suddenly the owner of the café was there, the eldes goblin. Now she was the one dancing. And stripping. Slowly crawling towards him…

“Hey man, what’s a Grima?” His neighboor asked as they were both leaving for work. “W-what?” “Yeah man, you were screaming it all night long. ”  “That’s just… I- I hope I didn’t keep you awake.” “That’s alright man. I’m more worried about you.”

Don wasn’t planning on sharing the details of his dream with his neighboor. That morning he had had to clean his sheets, something he hadn’t had needed to do since childhood. A wet dream. About goblins. He preferred not to think about it.

It was crowded in the metro, but Don had managed to grab a seat. A gaggle of orc schoolgirls, wearing uniforms that were just a bit too small for them, was in there with him. It was hard to hear himself think over the noise. One of them worked up the courage to try an opening line on him. “Hey… it’s pretty crowded in here. Maybe I could sit on your lap.” He friend came up from behind her. “Yeah! And I could sit on your face!” Shocked by their presumptiousness he looked away and shielded his face with his briefcase. The first girl poked her friend. Who responded with a rather clueless “What’d I do?” Monstergirls.

And yet. Somehow. When the lunchbreak was called he somehow found himself drawn back to the goblin café. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on work all day. Which was fine for Eismann, who measured work by attendance but not for him. He didn’t recognize himself at all today. He didn’t know what he was looking for, he didn’t know why he was there. But the girls knew. They were a lot freeer with him that time.

“What can I get ya sugurplum?” Grima asked while chewing her pink bubblegum. He blushed at the familial tone. Involuntarily he saw her dancing and stripping again in his mind, like in his dream. His pants became a little tighter. “Uh- well I… Uh.” She blew a bubble and popped it. “Tell ya what sweetcheeks. I’ll get ya sum nice apple pie. House specialty. How’s dat sound?” He nodded. Grateful that he didn’t have to speak while concentrating on not being turned on.

The goblins were all over this time. One just walking in and out and looking at him. He could swear he saw one licking her lips. When he tasted the pie he could almost forget the erotic visions. It was really good, a tat sweet, but really well done. “Uhm.” He pointed at his plate with his fork, still chewing, and said so to Grima, who was leaning against his table with a smug look on her face. “Thish ish shome good shtuff.”

She gave him a toothy grin. “You wan’ me ta give your complements to tha cook?” He hesitated. “I’ll go get ‘er.” She said as she winked at him. He became a bit nervous, he loosened his neck tie to let some more air in. What was he doing here? Grima came back with a slightly shorter goblin in an apron. “This is my sister Maliss. She’s our local master chef.” She blushed. Maliss seemed sort of shy. Don decided to boost her ego a bit. “This is some really well done pie. You could win an award with this.” “Well, maybe as a tip you can let me suck your dick.”

It becaome silent in the building. She had said what they were all thinking. Don’s face went completely red. “Come on. Don’t be such a prude.” Grima laughed. “We can all see you’re standing at attention.” He tried to cross his legs to cover up his straining erection. “If anything we’d be doing you a favor to relieve some of the tension for you.” He abruptly stood up. “I’m going to have to leave.”

“You don’ wanna leave.” Grima said authoratively. “Why else would you wanna come here. Huh? You ‘ere to git fucked. Sit down.” Reflexively he sat down. The authority in her voice was enough to override the small avantage his will still had over his lust.

“Girls, we’re removing this table. Maliss. You get to go first. You’ve earned it.” Grima ordered around her sisters. Without the table Don had a clear view of what Maliss was doing to his pants, unbuckling it easily without his help. Out flopped a big meaty sausage. Generally penises aren’t considered all that pretty but the goblin sisters were mesmerized by it. Maliss set her tongue to the base and started licking upwards. He whimpered at the teasing.

“He’s cute.” One of the goblins remarked. “Chow down sis.” Another encouraged her. Now she really went to work. She stimulated the head with her tongue and kneaded the base with her hands. Then she applied industrial strength sucking power with her mouth. The goblins cheered as Don’s held breath suddenly released and he felt his energy leaving his body. The goblin greedily gulped up the sticky liquid. The tips of her ears flushed as his spirit energy entered her body.

“Next one. Bruta. You git ‘im.” Grima barked. “Next one? No, I-” Don was about to complain as he noticed his member growing again and his hips restarting the involuntary buckling in search of relief. He had already been infected with monster energy.

Bruta took off her Guns & Roses shirt and put him between her breasts. He bosom was that of a goblin, big and soft but at the top here his dick did stick out it rubbed against her cheek. In between strokes she would put her lips against the tip and give it a little kiss. When he finally released again she had the good sense put her mouth around it again so she could gulp it up and could minimize the amount she had to lick off of her own boobs later.

It continued like this, every sister stimulating him as much as possible to cause a climax and absorb his energy. Somehow his balls would fill up immediately afterwards and his libido would return even stronger.

Until finally, it was time for the last sister. “Now it’s my turn.” Grima smiled. “And don’t think I’m going soft on you just because you’ve been at it for 2 hours.” Every fiber in his body screamed against complaining or trying to stop her. He need to fuck.

With the greatest ease she slipped out of her torn denim jeans. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down on the floor. His exhausted body complied like a rag doll. She put her dirty sneaker on his exposed dick, it went from swollen to hard again sintantly. Maliciously she leaned on his member, squashing it against his abs. “So, mister ‘too good for goblins’ how does that feel?” He whinced “It hurts, but it also feels good.” She pressed harder. He gasped. “It’s a good pain?” “Y-yes.” “Beautiful” She pulled down her black panties, her crotch was now fully exposed.

She simply let herself fall and pushed her green womanhood against his human manhood. He saw it immediately. The size difference. “It- it’s not going to fit.” He tried to upright himself and put his hand on her tigh but she clasped his hand. “We’re going to make it fit.”

Slowly she slid around him. He whinced as his dick was crammed into an impossibly tight space. He cried “It hurts.” She laughed. “It should hurt.” Once she had gotten him balls deep she started going up and down. First slowly, then faster. His heart was beating, his breathing was low, she was enjoying it just as much as he was.

He groaned as he came inside of her. “I wan’ sum more than two minutes, boy. So we’s gonna continue.” And just like that she went on. The strength and tightness of her pussy controlled his thought. Even after coming he was still being fucked and their wet bodies were slamming togetherfully activated. His eyes rolled back and his tongue hung out of his body. He lasted longer this time but he was barely aware of it, the entirety of his brain activity was being taken over by pleasure.

She had milked him multiple times before she was done herself. They let him lay down on the floor for a bit before telling him to pay for his pie. It was not like they had much customers in that timeslot anyway.


Losing his job was the best thing that ever happened to Don. After being forced to consider his own position in life he was able to take a new road that led to great success. He contemplated this as he looked out of the bay window of his apartment, the penthouse of one of the highest buildings in town. His hedge fund provided more than enough income for him, Grima and her sisters. Enough too for the multitude of children they were planning on. All of them. He still didn’t really feel in charge of his life though.

“Don!” A tug on his collar pulled him back to the present. Grima was holding the leash and looking demanding. “Were going to a reception party remember? So I’m going to need to eat early. Take out your dick.” He obediently stood straight up and presented himself. She took his dick into her mouth and started sucking, while looking at her phone. It seemed like he was still taking orders from a short bossy superior, but this job was a hundred times better.

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7 thoughts on “Goblin Café

  1. > Tags: no smut, femdom

    I was wondering how you were going to do a femdom story with no smut. Easiest way is to put smut in, I guess.

    > Goblin
    > Green
    > Tig ol’ bitties
    > Cockney?

    I have no idea what kind of goblins these are, they’re nothing like the ones in the MGE. Did you take liberties or did you mean ogres instead?

  2. Man I don’t want to be that guy who gets all nitpicky about porn but actually I do want to be that guy. This seems like it’s definitely the MGE universe but I’m pretty sure goblins aren’t green in the Encyclopedia.

  3. Just because a monster isn’t listed in the works of the Wandering Scholar does not mean they’re not already a member of the MGE universe.
    Even the W.S. has mentioned that he has not encountered them all.
    Thus Goblin may very well be met by him some day.

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