Ace of Joker – Part Five

So far, it has been a month since your Jabberwock girlfriend Ekaterina shacked up with you. You’re not exactly sure how you’ve subsisted without a job, but you’re not complaining. You also mull over the fact that Ekaterina is living with you for lack of a better term. While she hasn’t moved in, the amount of time she spends in your house says otherwise. She even brings her blue blanket and extra pillows over with her, too.

Having Ekaterina around has also…ehm…improved your endurance. You’re still the world’s best quick shot, but you’ve marginally improved. You can now last a  total of 5 minutes  and 4 seconds now! If this  keeps up, you may finally be able to get a convincing blowjob!

You thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell ringing. That’s odd, Ekaterina never rings the doorbell before coming in. She has a key after all, unless she lost it.

Curious, you go to the door and check the peephole. On your step is rather large cardboard box. You don’t remember ordering anything… Throwing caution to the wind, you open the door and attempt the bring the box in, only find that it ways a fuckton. What the hell is in here!?

After struggling for a good fifteen minutes, you finally manage to pull the box into your house. Taking a breather, you pick up a note on the top of the box and begin reading:

Most high and illustrious Oni-chan,

We have delivered the unenlightened Oppai scum to your branch. They were quite difficult to subdue, but they were no match for our skilled witches. Be sure to provide extra doses of the lolification potion to pink headed lizard, she seemed quiet resilient to magical spells.

With hugs and kisses,


P.S. Check the back for a super special surprise ! 😀

What the fuck did you just read? You flip the note over and bear witness to some blue haired goat girl’s loli ass. It’s surprisingly round and plump if this picture is anything to go-

“The fuck are you doing, me! You have a girlfriend and you’re not pedophile!” Your self chastisement seems to work, as you toss the note to the side. It is then that the box starts shifting around. Oh no, what the fuck is in there is waking up!  Whispering expletives, you try and push the box back outside, but you don’t get far as suddenly burst into flames!

You dive out the raging inferno as the box explodes. Coughing, you notice that there are two shadows looming over you. Gulping, you look to see what they are, and you heart sinks into you stomach.

The shadow on the left is a hefty looking Hellhound. Her skin (or is it fur?) is as black as midnight. Her fluffy looking paws are strangely blood red in color, as is the hair on her head. Then again, it looks more like a mane since its so thick, long and spiky. That kind of hair would be right at home in any anime. She’s also very fit and toned, and her breast are probably C-cup as best. She’s growling at you, exposing extremely white and sharp teeth.

Her friend as similarly grim look. At first you think she’s just a dark skinned human, but that you see that her arms and legs are reptilian in construction and covered in thick red scales. Her tail is wagging rather violently behind her, and is also on fire. Must be a Salamander. Like her Canine friend, she is well built and toned. Her breast on the other hand are bigger, about the same size as your head. Damn. The Salamander has wild and spikey hair as well, though its not as long as the Hellhound’s hair. It’s also in a ponytail and strangely pink. Must be dye..

Suddenly fearing for your life, you try and speak to them. As soon as you open your mouth though, a giant sword is plunged into the floorboard, inches away from your face. The Salamander breaks the tense silence:

“If you value your life, I suggest you stay quite, loli cunt…”

You don’t need to be told twice. The Hellhound speaks next:

“I bet you thought you could force feed us that loli potion and then ‘teach the depravity of little girls,’ fucking pedophile.”

“Calm down, Kris, I don’t think he’s in a position to do anything. We caught you unawares, didn’t we?”

“Tch, I don’t need to calm down Tanis…”

Oh god, they think you’re with the Sabbath!

“Well-well ladies, I believe-” you try and blurt out a response.


The Hellhound’s mouth is ablaze with fire. You quickly silence yourself before you get burned. Kris, as you presume, leans down until her face inches away from yours. You can feel the heat washing over you.

“Don’t you dare say another word or I’ll fuck you until your dick prolapses!”

OH GOD. She picks you up by the collar of your shirt. You hope and pray that they won’t kill you.

“Now now, we won’t hurt you too much, unless you don’t cooperate.”

“I think we should hurt him anyway, Tanis. He is working with the Sabbath…”

As you heart begins to beat faster in your chest, a familiar growl makes its presence known. Your assailants turn around and are treated to the sight of a pissed of Jabberwock. Its Ekaterina!

“Put. Him. Down. NOW!”

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