Bird’s Eye View: Chapter 4- Bird Dogging


“C’on Perri. Quit being so difficult and just get on down here.”

“Why? So you can get drunk and make me sleep in the barn again?” she asks loud enough for everyone to hear.

That flying fucking bullshit artist. I can’t see from down here, but I’m sure she has that infuriating smirk right now.

I grit my teeth.

“That’s…..” I begin to say through the megaphone. This wasn’t a mistake or a misunderstanding on her part- she was straight-up lying about my treatment of her in front of pretty much the whole county. Instinctively I was going to say “That’s not true” but then inspiration struck me.

Why not fight her bullshit with more bullshit?

“That’s because you keep dive-bombing my schnauzer! The poor thing is terrified of you now!”

Oh the look on her face. She’s been getting used to goading and teasing me, but not being on the receiving end of such treatment. The surprise and indignation on Perri’s face was visible even from my lowly position on the ground, and it was sweeter than any gooey, caramel covered confectionary.