Just a not so short prelude chapter acting as an interquel to Valkyrie vs. Demon and its sequel. The now veteran Hero Jacob is tasked by the Order to lead an army to retake a town that was captured by a monster force and transformed into a Demon Realm. Just another day in the life of a Hero of the Holy Order of The Chief God.Read More...
-One of my older stories, edited with the same level of care and attention of a Kubo Tite background and aged like fine milk, this truly will count as something you’ve read today-
Times were hard for the humble Paladin. The Demon Lord had won, and monstergirls were now accepted throughout the kingdom. A Paladin no longer had any place in a world where men now freely slept with these monstrous women. But the new government was determined to retrain these poor men, and reintegrate them into decent society. No matter what the cost.
“How many more times are you going to get sent here this week!?”
You bravely faced your foe, a mighty dragon. But you had battled this monstrosity many a time before, and were not afraid. You were Sir Alfred Yaleton, noble Paladin and servant of our most wondrous Chief Goddess. Compared to her love this demon was but a helpless child. By the end of the day many a tale would be told about your heroic vanquishing of Kathy from Human Resources.
“You kneed Heather in the face! All she did was offer you a titfuck!” The dragon snarled. The evil beast was correct, you had indeed battled with the foul Holstaurus from accounting, and tasted sweet victory before your nemesis had summoned you into her dark lair. “You might have given her concussion, you fuckwit!” Smoke billowed from her mouth as she glowered down at you. Her room had been made fireproof due to health and safety concerns, the concerns being that she might burn down this building like the last two she was stationed at.
How such a mighty warrior had fallen, not long ago you were a legend, a protector of the innocent. Songs were sung of your great deeds by the finest bards of the land, and Tom Jones. But now you simply toiled away in an office surrounded by the repugnant beasts who you once fought bitterly against.
“Ara ara! Alfie’s been a naughty boy!” cooed an Arachne hanging from the ceiling. You didn’t know what kind of incantation “ara ara” was, but you thought it best to assume she was attempting to curse you. You reached for your holy shield to protect yourself, only to remember it was confiscated last week, when you hit that Lizardwoman in the head with it for slapping your ass.Read More...
-Anon must suffer the world’s worst dungeon keeper as he assists her in repelling a Paladin attack-
“Adam…” Shanna murmured, her thighs twitching in anticipation. Her attention was now entirely focused on me, leaving her character at the mercy of the enemy hordes. She stood up and the bathrobe slid to the floor in a heap around her ankles, completely exposing her pale, shapely body. We both stared longingly into each others eyes, as her delicate hands slid down my chest towards my belt and began do undo the buckles. I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth, slightly biting her lower lip and causing the lich to pull my head in for a deeper, more passionate kiss. Our tongues began to slowly explore their way around each others mouths as a slight moan of pleasure whimpered from Shanna’s throat. A few impatient tugs later and my belt came loose, followed by my pants.
She slipped down onto her knees, and reached out for the hard object in front of her. The liches fingers lovingly caressed it, teasing and stroking in all the right places with finesse. Her skill wasn’t surprising; she’d done this countless times before, and she only got better at it with each passionate session. The lich gazed lovingly at her handiwork with a faint smirk as she saw the thing beginning to react to the stimulation. She looked up at me and our eyes met.
“For fucks sake, Shanna, Put down the DS!”Read More...
-Anon goes to the doctors to cure his sleeplessness and finds he needn’t have bothered-
You hurriedly flip over the pages looking at the other questions Nadia is likely to ask you as the Lich rapidly glides over towards you.
‘Sensitivity to touch:’
‘Level of arousal before experiment:’
‘level of arousal after experiment:’
“Are you sure you’re a fully qualified doctor?” You ask as the nervousness in your voice begins to show.
The clipboard is snatched from your hands by a powerful yet invisible force and gently comes to a halt in the doctor’s hand. You notice she is holding a small vial containing a faintly glowing purple liquid. It’s actually quite pretty really, the same colour as her eyes. Like hell you’re drinking that, though.
“I assure you I am the most respected necromancer in my realm.” The Lich unhelpfully replies.
You stare at the bottle in her extended hand, eyeing the contents nervously. “Uh… what is it?”
“Just drink it. Doctor’s orders.”
Frankly, it looks poisonous. You know you’re not meant to swallow something if it’s glowing or the result of a dead person’s mad experiments. “But-”
Dr. Nadia presses the vial into your hand almost impatiently. “Do you want to cure your sleeplessness or not?”Read More...
That is it. I’ve had it with these motherfucking magic corpses on my motherfucking- Okay. Calm down a little, Sam. It’s been, well… Definitely a noisier week, with the vampires and witches and living pizzas and what have you, not to mention last week with the sorority and finding out Caden was some sort of … Continue reading Lich Chapter 9Read More...
Have you ever helped a sleepy Lich wake up?
This is what this short sequence is about. Beware of greentext
I promise it took so long because I’m necroposting ironically. (Please believe me)Read More...
A newly-promoted general sets on a holy campaign against the unholy undead.Read More...
The day we’d agreed on was finally here, and I spent all afternoon looking around the dorm for that boxed set. I finally found it, jammed halfway behind my TV for god-knows-what reason, just to find out I was missing the first movie. Goddammit. I tried to tell myself it wouldn’t be that important, but, … Continue reading Lich Part 7Read More...
I know I’m a university-aged bachelor, but pizza two nights in a row? Liz wouldn’t hear otherwise, so she practically jumps in glee when a zombie stumbles back into the library with a box of Canadian. “Can we at least go to a restaurant next time?” She halts when she hears my question, turning to … Continue reading Lich Part 6Read More...