Tag Archives: drunk shenanigans

My Blue Valentine

21 votes, average: 4.57 out of 521 votes, average: 4.57 out of 521 votes, average: 4.57 out of 521 votes, average: 4.57 out of 521 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5 (21 votes) (4.57)

“M-McSorley’s Florist.” I call out. “I have some flowers here for you.”

“I’ll be right there!” she said almost as soon as the door sprang open.

Sure enough I was standing face to face with a beautiful but slightly disheveled Blue Oni. Gone were the tiger pelt coverings- instead she was wearing an oversized sweater with most of her right shoulder peeking out from the oversized hole for the neck. I didn’t want to stare, but at first glance it appeared she wasn’t wearing any pants, but I was eventually able to catch a glimpse of some short-shorts peeking out from beneath the bottom of her sweater.

“Oh hey there…it’s you.” she says to me, recognizing me from earlier this weekend. I had to have been over there at least eight times in past two days. Behind her, I could see at least a half dozen more bouquets kept in vases lined up on her counter and on the kitchen table of her apartment. Attached to some of them were stuffed animals or Mylar balloons.

“Hi there.” I say sheepishly. “These are for you….”

“Oh gosh! I wonder who they’re from…” she muses out loud as I hand them off to her. “I mean it’s not even Valentine’s Day anymore.”

“I know….I guess we couldn’t get these off to you in time.” I tell the Oni apologetically.

“That’s all right. I mean, you were so busy dropping these off earlier this week, there probably was something of a backlog.” she gushes before sitting down at her kitchen table and reading aloud the card attached to the floral arrangement.

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Treat

85 votes, average: 4.81 out of 585 votes, average: 4.81 out of 585 votes, average: 4.81 out of 585 votes, average: 4.81 out of 585 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5 (85 votes) (4.81)

OK- too early to tell, but this could be the best home-invasion ever.

No Stockholm syndrome, honest.

Suddenly she backs away as though she just thought of something. A playful little grin plies the corner of her lips as she’s blushing lightly- it’s pretty clear that even though she backed off, she is by no means finished with you.

Naughty werepanda schoolgirl heads to the counter to inventory the trick-or-treat candy. She seems to be looking for something specific. Her face lights up a little before she grabs some strawberry licorice sticks from the leftover trick or treat candy.

You’re not sure what she has in mind until she slowly and deliberately walks back to where you’re sitting.

“I give you something sweet now, yes?”

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