Wow. Sorry it’s been so long since the last chapter. I’ve been working in a new job; ain’t we got fun, right? So it’s been hard to get the creative juices flowing. But at long last, here it is.
Enjoy and be sure to comment.
I found myself struggling to hold on to consciousness. If not for the fogginess in my head and the throbbing pain over various parts of my body, I may have qualified for being in below average shape. But of course it just had to be worse.
Call it instincts if you want, but I found myself wandering around aimlessly, presumably away from the battle with the Skarliks. Though if I didn’t know better, I could have mistaken it for simply being rip-roaring drunk again. Yeah this wasn’t the first time I woke up like this. I remembered when the fight started, but after that, I only remembered bits and pieces. Fitting since I felt like I was broken into bits and pieces and part of my broken ass probably had parts of my brain in it. I wondered where I was, where I was going, and who was taking me there. Oh right, that would be me. I’d been drunk so many times that I couldn’t tell the difference anymore.
Finally, I collapsed on the ground. I don’t know how far I’d gone or how long it took to get there, but my body finally decided that this was the end of the line. In the nice, sleepy little town called Midlonower. That’s my passive aggressive name for ‘middle of nowhere’, for those of you keeping track at home.
I may have been exhausted, but I still could figure that my battle had not gone exactly as planned. But if I was too stupid to figure it out, my ribs, legs, back, and arms would surely give me a clue. Fuck the fact that I was seething in pain, I needed a rest. There would be plenty of time to cuss in agony later.
Drifting in and out of consciousness, I tried to remember what the hell happened during the fight. Not much luck; the pain was too distracting and there was still too much water on the brain. Fortunately, I could still bad mouth myself on the inside for ending up like this. I even wished I had Veina with me right now. To be able to tell her any more regrets if they came to me. But that was probably just the grogginess talking. At least this predicament couldn’t suck any more. Well, that’s what I thought until I heard a clash of thunder approaching, shortly followed by heavy raindrops.
Nice touch. There’s a Ryu somewhere that I owe a punch in the face.
I was finally retrieved from my semi-slumber as I found myself moving again. Dammit, I hate when the engine’s running but no one’s behind the wheel. How does that hap-
Hold up. I must have shakened enough cobwebs out of my head to realize that I wasn’t moving on my own accord. No. I was being carried, but was still too out of it to see who it was that was kidnapping me away from my wet, miserable after-battle party.
Oh well, I’ll just go back to sleep. If they were going to kill me, I hope I would sleep through it.
Suddenly, I woke up with a jump, well almost a jump. I seemed to be in a bed but couldn’t move under the blankets.
“What! Who! I-I don’t-” I sputtered, trying to re-embrace the world of the living. My brain must have rebooted back into frantic action mode where I think I left off.
“Oh… you’re awake. Calm down, sir” came a soft voice next to me.
After I calmed down somewhat, I looked to the source of the kind voice. There stood a beautiful, pale-skinned woman dressed in a kimono-like apparel with almost comically wide sleeves. It was only a little more white than her skin but decorated with purple highlights on it, including a big tacky bow in the front just below her chest. Her pearly hair was as white as her wardrobe, trimmed in the front for her pretty facial features to shine through. It reached down to her hips that wore a purple skirt of sorts. I would have thought her a whimsical angel… except that I damn well knew that an angel in this world looks like lolicon-bait .
She bowed, then presented herself in a modest pose that gave off the feeling of tremendous grace and elegance.
“I was worried that you might not wake up” she said as she felt my forehead with a caring look in her eyes. There was such softness behind them. But her iris’ weren’t quite as red as Veina’s and she also had white scleras as opposed to Veina’s black scleras.
“Gee, thanks mom” I said. My sarcasm was the first thing to boot up. Old faithful.
“Pardon?” she asked, obviously an elegant figure like her wasn’t used to the witticism of a mouthy bastard like me.
“Okay, so you’re not my mom. Mind telling me who you are and what I’m doing here?”
No mood for bullshitting; I felt like getting straight to the point.
“Oh… O-Okay… very well. Uhh… hi” she said awkwardly. It was kind of cute to see her struggle with her manners. “My name is Sateen. I’m a shrine maiden for this region’s Ryu, Lady Gieshu. I was raised in the shrine which I’ve come to think of as my home. I enjoy helping other people”
Oh geez. She’s gonna ramble isn’t she? I just woke up and she’s already gonna put me back to sleep.
“Hey, you don’t have to read off your resume, el blanco. Just tell me what’s going on here?” I interjected.
She looked somewhat confused by my choice of words but seemed to understand the meaning behind them.
“Very well, but my name is Sateen”. I rolled my eyes. “Lady Gieshu had sent me to return a whip and a bondage cup that a lovely Dark Elf and her husband had left behind at Lady Gieshu’s temple went they departed. When I returned it to them, the look in their eyes makes me believe that they were quite precious to them. It did my heart good to see-“
“Details, details! Just summarize!”
“I’m so sorry. Well, I was on my way back to the shrine when it started to rain. I enjoy the rain but thunder frightens me, so I began to hurry. Then I came across you. You were unconscious and badly injured. Strange since this is such a lonely path without a village around for miles. Even though no one could help me, I wasn’t going to leave you there, so I brought you here”
Hmm. Stronger than she looks to be able to drag my hefty ass around.
“And where is ‘here’?”
“A simple shack that travelers use for shelter”
“How long was I out?”
“About ten hours since we arrived here”
Fucking hell. I’ve had drunk comas shorter than that. But oh well.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you more comfortable” she said as she disappointedly looked at the ground.
“Oh it’s not that bad” I said, bringing an elated expression to her face. “There is, however, one thing that’s bugging me”
“What? What is it?” she said with a caring kind of agitation.
“Why did you feel the need to tie me up?” I hadn’t be able to move an inch since I woke up. “Thought I was mad-dog with a dream of owning a pair of snake-skin boots?”
“But… I didn’t tie you up” Sateen said innocently.
“Well then why can’t I-“. Then it occurred to me; she was a gorgeous and quite busty girl who’s bottom half I couldn’t see because of the edge of the bed. Also, her long pointed ears were an embarrassingly obvious hint that she was more than just a good Samaritan.
I decided to lightly jiggle my fingers against my constraints. As I kept my eye on her, I felt the constraints erratically jitter as she fidgeted in place while trying to suppress a giggle.
Elementary, my dear Watson. And it still took too long to piece it together, you half-witted detective.
“Pull these covers off” I demanded.
“But it’s cold in here”
“I’m telling ya, pull them off” I demanded again. Her hesitation only made me more eager.
“Certainly” she said nervously as she grabbed ahold of the blanket and gently yanked.
I knew it. I was tightly encased in a large, white-scaled snake body robbing me of my freedom. And I doubt that it was a stylish straitjacket, though maybe I belonged in one at this point.
Well at least that explained how she carried me here. She’s stronger than she looks.
“So I’m not tied up, huh marshmallow? I should have known something like this would happen”
“Well I didn’t tie you up!” she stammered.
“Then what do you call this; string cheese?” I fired back.
“It was all I could do to make us both more comfortable in this inconvenient place” she said as she rose up enough to see her snake half below her hips… her incredibly curvy hips.
“Then what the hell was the blanket for?”
“This?” Sateen said holding up the tethered and torn cloth. “Just look at it. It wouldn’t have done much to keep us warm. I needed you for that… Oops” she said with a clear slip of the lip, causing her hand to reflexively cover her mouth.
“Wait. You what?” I asked as I caught her little slip of the forked tongue.
“Well… you see…” she blushed as she began to bite her finger like a child. I’ll admit, she was pretty damn adorable when she was nervous. “Unlike warm-blooded humans, my kind’s bodies need more warmth than usual. And since this shack isn’t well maintained, I didn’t have any other way of keeping myself warm enough to be able to care for you. I’d freeze up if I didn’t”
So she had to snuggle up with me like a teddy bear just to stay functional? It’s so crazy that I just had to believe it. Besides she couldn’t build a fire inside a small, unventilated place like this.
“You really found embracing a soaking wet comforter like me to be warm?”
“Actually, you were freezing wet when I found you. So you needed to be dried off first. Therefore I had to undress you and dry you myself so-“
“You undressed me!?” I shouted.
“Of course. I hung your clothes over there” she said as she pointed to my coat, pants, shirt and boots over to the side. I even noticed my socks and… briefs hanging on the line.
“You took off my underwear as well!? Then that means that I’m new-born naked under here and you’ve been holding me this whole time!?” I exclaimed as my eyes became erratic by the sudden intimacy I apparently was having with my rescuer.
“Well they were wet, too”
“And that was your best solution? Didn’t you think that this might be just a little bit jarring for me when I woke up!? I don’t know about you but when I wake up in a position where I can’t exactly say ‘no’ to my rescuer or kidnapper, I tend to panic”
“Sorry but what else could I do? And I’m not a kidnapper!”
“Wait a second. You didn’t do anything weird while I was out did you?”
I checked; no I was still flaccid.
“Of course not. Why would I take advantage of someone who needed my help?” she said, clearly hurt by my accusation.
Despite my hysterics, I actually believed her. The sadness in her eyes was obviously true. Now I felt like a real shithead for accusing her of that.
“Alright, alright. I believe you. Sorry but I’ve had a rough day” I assured her, my guilt now forcing me to calm down.
“I’d never do something so… savage. Never. Do I look savage to you?” she asked with a slight tear in her scarlet eyes.
Man, I never encountered a mamono so sensitive before. Usually they jumped at the opportunity to do lewd shit if they could get away with it. But here’s a girl with some common sense along with a little decency. How sad is it when that kind of stuff is uncommon?
“No, far from it, dear. You look great. I just have a tendency to fly off the handle sometimes. Thanks for not turning into a perv hound and groping me” I consoled her, filtering my response from being too x-rated. My compliment was mainly to cheer her up, but it wasn’t untrue.
“Oh, you’re very welcome, sir! I’m happy to please you” she beamed with a new-found cheerfulness from my compliment.
Clearly, she loved her job. But I wasn’t planning on taking advantage of that “happy to please” thing.
“But you have to admit that this is pretty damn awkward, you know?. You had met… that before you actually met me. Not only that but you’ve been touching it for quite a while now”
“…Yes” she said with an even deeper blush and a slight curl of her lips. She also tightened her coils up a little bit.
“Are you smirking?” I said with now suspiciously slitted eyes.
“Oh, no, good sir” she said as she regained her composure in an effort to try and hide her amusement.
“Well that shade of red you’re sporting isn’t because you’ve been standing too close to the furnace. Now snap out of it”
Sateen’s look changed to perplexity as she realized my awareness of her little teenage syndrome.
“Sorry, good sir” she said bashfully as her panic caused her to tighten up even more. “It’s just that this is the closest I’ve ever been to a man before. Do you find it discomforting?” she asked timidly while uncontrollably tightening her coils.
Fucking hell. Not what I wanted her to do. It was so tight that I couldn’t even breath to respond to her. All I could do was signal to Sateen with my ever-bulging eyes that she was turning me almost as red as she was.
“Oh my goodness! I sincerely apologize! Are you okay!?” she said as her serpentine body returned to a more soothing embrace.
“Well watch it next time will ya?” I said catching my breath. “But no, don’t worry about me, Scalebound. This isn’t my first time cosplaying as a pig in a blanket. Though I will say, despite a little deja vu, this feels even better than last time I was wrapped up by one of your kind. And no, I generally don’t find this uncomfortable at all. Just as long as these ‘blankets’ don’t try to turn me into mush, that’s all”
Sateen’s thick, scaley body really did feel great. Her scales were definitely not rough; they were smooth as marble. Her body gave me the feeling like I was sitting in a hot tub or a sauna except without the heat. Kinda cool, in fact. Actually, the effect it had on my muscles was refreshingly welcome. She kind of shifted her coils around a bit, which only added to the feeling of being engulfed in water. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be magic, at least not in the traditional sense. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to feel it; I’d just feel like a mouse at the wrong dinner table.
“Really?” she mewed, with a spark of happiness in her voice.
“Yeah, no doubt about it. Last time time I felt like a well-rung out rag after I was released. Though it did help me win that “Sexiest Man on Earth” competition”
“That was you!? You were the man who won this year!?” she gasped.
“Unfortunately yes. But this feels pretty relaxing. Like being in a pleasantly cool tub of water. I just would have preferred not being naked as a newborn baby under here”
“Oh my goodness! How could I… I should… because you’re…” she said as she began to panic.
“What? What wrong?”
“I never met a former winner of Gamberton’s most esteemed contest before. It is my absolute honor to serve you. Oh dear, I’m sorry that I can’t make you more comfortable, given the circumstances. Is there anything else you need from me?”
“Yeah. Calm down” I groaned.
“Yes right awa-. What?”
“Calm. Down. I want my captor in the right state of mind”
“Okay. I’m sorry, sir”
“And stop calling me ‘sir’. It’s driving me nuts”
“Oh. I’m sorry”
“And stop saying ‘sorry'”
“Sorr-. Oh…” she said as I shot her an assertive glance. She then nodded her head.
“Okay. Now we’re getting somewhere. Would you care to let me go?”
“But you’re clothes are still damp. And I don’t want you to be cold… Nor I”
Sateen’s caring nature was particularly adorable. I found that I wasn’t angry with her despite her accidental attempt on my life earlier; I was mainly just playfully annoyed but fascinated by her dedication and manners. Maybe because those kind of manners were something that I sure as hell never possessed myself, but I couldn’t help but be curious as to what her breaking point was.
“Oh fine. I wouldn’t want a snake-cicle to have to thaw out, right?”
“Uh… okay. Thank you” she whispered. “Is there something else I can do for you?”
“Come to think of it there is. Tell me… why did you stop for me? And go as far as nursing me back to health?”
“You needed help. Why would I just leave you out there to die?”
“You know, I could have been a thief or a killer. Or even a rapi-” I silenced myself since that last point was probably not going to support my cause.
“Yes but… I wanted to help you. All I could think about was getting you to safety. It would have been wrong and selfish to leave you like that. So, I guess… it didn’t occur to me?” she intoned with an impish shrug.
“‘Didn’t occur to you’?”
“No. Like I said, your safety was what I cared about”
Wow. This was a new experience for me. Most mamano I encountered were so flirtatious and skanky that I would have thought Pornhub’s VR software, Hootilicious, not only had become a reality but also became the new American dream. Veina would be a perfect poster girl for that schenario. But even though Veina’s sweeter side had gotten me to look differently at mamono, having a beautiful, immaculate half snake girl show this kind of selflessness was one hell of a curveball. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty sure I saw her smirking earlier; she is a mamono after all. But she seemed too bashful to be a skank in a saint’s clothing. I felt comfortable around this girl. Her motherly persona mixed with the softness of her personality made for quite a calming atmosphere. Between that and Sateen’s comfy grasp over me, I almost felt like going to sleep again.
Now her enticing body, even her scaley half, instilled the complete opposite effect. Particularly in getting me to stand at attention, if you know what I mean. So it was pretty fucking conflicting. But hey, that feeling was nothing new to me. Maybe the trees in this realm produced more than just oxygen. Maybe a little pheromone dust in the mix? Yeah I wish that was all it was.
“Well, if you knew me better, you might think I wasn’t worth it”
“I could never regret saving a life. It’s too precious” she sympathetically insisted. I simply gave an unconvinced nod of my head. “May I ask what happened to you?”
Spread the poison of my situation around? I don’t think so.
“Long story. Complicated. Embarrassing. Stupid. And frankly, I don’t believe it myself. Let’s just say that I got into a fight and it didn’t exactly go according to plan. At least I don’t think it did”
“You don’t remember?”
“Bits and pieces. It’s kinda hard to concentrate. I need some relief. Could I ask you to do something for me?”
“Oh” she softly cooed as her deep red blush returned. “Okay. It would be a great honor to lay with ‘The Sexiest Man of Gamberton’, but you should know, I don’t have any experience with pleasuring a man. Please be gentle”
“No problem. I rea-, hang on. What was that?”
“Aren’t you asking to have sex?” she asked innocently.
Not this again.
“No, certainly not! Do I look like a pent up sailor on shore-leave to you?”
“Well, it’s my understanding that men greatly enjoy sex”
“That’s the first thing to come to mind when someone asks for ‘relief’?”
“Well there is also oral. Do you prefer I do that?”
As usual, she was rather cute in her naivete.
After a dumbfounded stare, I responded, “No. No, I don’t“
“I understand. Are you more into other men?” she sighed dejectedly.
Compassionate, yet rude as all hell. Next thing, she’ll ask me how often I masturbate.
“Would you stop already!? Are all mamono this personal? And for the fucking record, I am into gals; cute ones like you. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking for a quick bout of baby-roulette. I don’t bang someone I just met, like some overpaid celebrity. Well, okay, there was that crap I won in Gamberton, uh, but nevermind that! I’m not a celebrity, that’s my point! All I want is for you to rub the sides of my forehead to relieve my headache. Think you can manage that kind of ‘relief’ or is that too foreign of a concept?”
Sateen stared at me with a twinkle in her eye while sheepishly knotting her fingers together like a bashful kid.
“You think I’m… cute? Uhh, yes, forgive me. Of course I will”
That’s all she got out of my rant? These fucking mamono, man. And they say it’s men who only think about sex. Ha!
Sateen moved around to the back of the bed and looked down at me. Even her movement was graceful as fuck. She swayed around back of me like she was gently gliding down a river. Leaning over, she rubbed her index and middle fingers in a circular motion on the side of my temples. It felt awesome.
With Sateen leaning over, I got a much better view of her generous mounds dangling in front of me. Hey, I didn’t plan on that happening, nor would she be able to stop it.
“And no. This isn’t foreplay, alright? Just give me a second to refresh my brain” I muttered as I relaxed myself under her massage.
“Mm-hm” Sateen sighed with pleasant smile.
I really could have fallen back asleep with her soothing me like that. Either she was a natural at this or I’m a genius in thinking this would actually work. I’m going to ignore the possibility of a lucky break.
But this is no time for another nap. I wanted to remember just what happened in that battle with the Skarliks.
“Just speak. It will help”
“Let’s see… I remember everything until unloading a turret gun onto some oncoming grunts. Some dropping and others running for cover. Uh… I remember a bald one rushing me and… something about Don Rickles. Then… something bright, loud, and painful happened, then… (groans) man I can’t remember anything else in order. Just random stuff like an explosion here and there with some gunfire… Uh, a watchtower almost fell on me but, uhm, it may have hit a generator… again… I was thinking of Don Rickles on Johnny Carson shortly after it happened… oh I remember being on the hood of a moving jeep, but with, hehe, no driver. No actually. I had shot him… Then I remember an impact sending me so high up that I thought I saw Sauron’s castle, or something… Don rickles making a politically incorrect joke which made me chuckle to myself… I was strangling a guy with a rolled up blanket… a grenade was fired straight up and we all ran before it came back down… I scrambled into a weapon room as I thought about Don Rickl-, damn why does he keep popping into my head!?”
A ridiculous story is one thing, but pieces of a crazy story? Now that’s some fucked up shit for the listener.
“It’s okay. Don’t let this ‘Rickles’ man bother you. Just calm down and focus” Sateen comforted. She probably didn’t understand a word I was saying, but she wasn’t complaining. Yeah, she probably just thought I was some kind of a nut. That’s fine with me. I might just agree with her diagnosis of putting me in the looney bin.
“Funny how things seem to come to you at the strangest of times, huh?” I scoffed at my constant referencing to Don Rickles. “Anyway, not much else to report from that whole ordeal; at least not right now. Next thing I know, I was wandering around like I just came from a long, unhealthy night of bar-hopping, except I forgot to enjoy it. Of course I don’t remember exactly when I blacked out, but I do remember a bit when I was being carried”
“Oh, that must have been me after I found you”
“My, that’s quite a… fantastic story. I fear that you must have suffered a severe blow to the head. I hope it’s not a concussion. Especially since you were mumbling some strange things when I found you”
“I didn’t sing Hakuna Matata, did I?” I joked.
“With all due respect, you say strange things when you’re asleep and when you’re awake” she said matter-of-factly.
Bingo. She hit the jackpot there.
“Fair enough. At least I didn’t scare you off. And at least I made it out of there in two pieces or less. Now if you’ll let me go, I’ll just slip on my armor a leave you be”
“If you don’t mind me saying, maybe you should avoid getting into trouble from now on. Your wardrobe is not very suited for combat” she suggested while continually massaging my head.
“Well no, not those undergarments of mine. They’re just there to try to give me some class. But the armor that you removed, that’s top notch”
Sateen stopped rubbing and looked at me dumbfounded. “Uh… I’m sorry but you were only wearing these garments when I found you. Honest. That made me even more worried since you were even less protected against the rain. The only foreign piece you had on you, besides your tool belt, was that strange thing you wear on your head”
“That’s crazy. Sure I would have deactivated my helmet, but I wouldn’t have taken off my armor. I practically live in-“
Then something hit me. Maybe it was Sateen’s massage or just a coincidence, but I recovered another memory.
“Wait a damn minute. I think I might remember something else…”
“You do? What is it?” she asked anxiously.
“Keep rubbing, keep rubbing!” I demanded as I finally noticed her lack of relief. Whether that was jogging my memory or not, I wanted it to continue. “I remember, uh, something big and green towering above me while I still had one foot in dreamland. I think they had purple hair…”
Sateen made a shrill squeak. “Did she have wings?”
“And a tail to match. You want to fill me in on something?”
“Oh, I think that was the Dragon who lives in the mountains overlooking this kingdom. She’s not very social. So why would she have visited you? Regardless, it’s quite an honor to be graced by the presence of a Dragon”
“Yeah, yeah I’m gushing with giddiness. But if I were to guess, I’d say my battle made have set off a few bells and whistles. That’s what probably caused her to get off of that ‘holier-than-thou’ high-horse to come down and visit us ‘peasants’. I remember her partially lifting me up and rolling me around. And boy, she must have brought a cold breeze with her, because I remember things getting much colder than befo-, wait a minute! She must have… oh goddammit, are you kidding!?” I yelled.
“What’s wrong!?” she said now taken aback by my sudden outburst.
“Don’t you get it!? You didn’t find me with my gear on! And it’s because of her! That fucking bitch stole my goddamn armor!”
“Why that big, self-centered, shitless lizard-slut” I raged, completely ignoring her request for civility. “Who does she think she is? ‘Graced by her presence’, huh? Some blessing. I slug it out to the edge of my life and she gets to reap the spoils? That whore! Oh, what I’m gonna do to her. That’s it! Let me out of here!”
“But… remember you’ll be cold?”
“Didn’t you hear me? Untie me!” I barked as I tried to struggle against her body. “Tried” is the keyword.
“Huh? I’m not tied onto you. I’m just coiled around you”
“I don’t care if you call it ‘stitched together after a thermal-bond epoxy bath’. Just get off me. I’ve got business in the mountains” I snapped.
I tried harder and harder to break free from her. But fucking hell, she was a lot stronger than me. I was helpless. And the worst part was that she didn’t seem to break a sweat. She just looked down at me like a curious kid.
“Are you upset? Why?” she asked caringly.
“Why!? I’m naked in the arms, eh care of a stranger, my head feels like it moonlit as a bowling ball, and now I found out that I’ve been robbed. So, yeah. ‘Upset’ just about covers it!”
“You don’t need to fret about your armor. I can offer you some coins to purchase a new set. Would you like that?”
Terrific. Now she thinks I’m a welfare loser in desperate need of charity. Finally, her caring nature was starting to aggravate me; it was making me feel like a free-loader. Next thing you know, she’ll be willing to donate a kidney for the helpless dumbass in need. Fuck that.
“There is no fucking replacing my armor. It’s one of a kind! Look I’m telling ya, let me out of here. Keep your damn charity and just-“
“Wait” she alarmingly shrieked as she slithered around from the back of the bed. I stared curiously as she slid into the bed next to me and embraced me like a child cuddling their teddy bear. Tightly, I might add, and I’m not just talking about her upper half. My face came to rest just above her cleavage. Even though she was wearing that white kimono, it was so strained against her tremendous mammaries that it was impossible to not make them out. It was also impossible to not be aroused. She smelled as fresh and pure as nature itself. Almost like the moist atmosphere of a freshwater river in the Spring. And as you might expect, it stirred up those “Springtime for men” instincts after a long pent-up winter, if you know what I mean. Emergency alert! I could feel myself starting to harden up.
“This will calm you down, yes?”
‘Calm’ was exactly the right word.
“Why don’t you get… Urrrgh… Let… go!” I asserted through muffled grunts.
“I guess not. Let’s see… I could calm you by massaging your body. Would that be better?” she offered inquisitively as her coils began to shift about, gently but firmly rubbing my frame like a baker would some dough over some flour. It was less like a massage and more like a marsh pit with a rowdy crowd. Again… ‘calm’ was not the right word for this.
“I don’t want ‘calm’, I want out! Pronto!” I blurted out as I struggled to not to be muffled or crushed by her tender loving care. Not only that, but I fought as hard as I could to resist her carnal appeal and keep my mast down. Sateen said nothing and seemed to stare at me. But she wasn’t really looking at me.
“Hello? Hello!? Am I coming through up there, snake eyes!?”
Finally she snapped back into it. “Oh, oh! I, I apologize. Like I said, I’ve… just never been so close to a man like this before. Especially not such an intoxicating one with such strong essence…” she murmured passionately.
“Yeah I know. I got regular balls of fire. Now let me out of this booby trap of yours!” I spat, fuming at the mouth. But I’m sure the fact that I was now burned up just made her enjoy my body heat even more.
“You do find me repulsive, don’t you?” she grieved as she released my head with a dejected expression and a quivering lip.
“What? No! How could I be repulsed? You’re gorgeous” Now why the hell was I taking time out to comfort her? Maybe because she had shown me nothing but compassion since I woke up? Was her sincerity and loving nature infectious? Could be. I found that to be a pretty attractive quality. But still, how could I do that knowing how pissed I was?
“You… you really think so?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it”
“So maybe you will calm down if I just…” Sateen mewed as she shyly began to open her kimono, showing off even more of her expansive cleavage. With how tight her kimono was, I bet her puppies were happy to peek out of the dog house, haha. She clearly was not used to flirting with guys. Pretty fucking competent for a beginner.
“Uhh, I uhmm, woah… No! Dammit, none of that stuff. I’ve got more important matters on my mind” I said as I continued to fight against her alluring albeit timid, temptations.
Sateen’s pretty eyes widened and she looked down. It took me a second to realize that I was now at full mast. Thus, I was pressing up against her body coiled around me.
And… she could feel it. Fuck.
“I guess you really don’t find me repulsive. Are you sure you don’t want to have sex? I… I’m still willing to relieve you of your stress but only if that’s what you truly want” she timidly said as her face reddened as much as the Cleveland Indians’ Chief Wahoo.
“Now don’t change the subject. Just because that came up doesn’t mean that my brain is out to lunch. Now do you mind?” I reiterated more embarrassed than she was. I began to struggle harder than ever in an attempt to escape this predicament before things got even more awkward.
Sateen stared at me curiously as I threw my head around frantically and groaned like a weightlifter with too much ambition.
“Are you trying to get out?” she asked innocently.
“What tipped you off!? You can’t feel me struggling against you?” I sneered.
“Uhm. No, I couldn’t tell. It wasn’t a strong enough force for me to think twice. I thought you were just fidgety… Sorry” she shrugged sincerely.
Oh, how fucking embarrassing. I knew she was stronger than me but I didn’t think she was that much stronger.
“Well if you’re finally done fantasizing, I’ll spell out what I’ve said for the past five minutes: Let. Me. Get. Up. Now! Do I have to hiss it to you or something!?”
She paused for a few seconds before responding. “Even if you’ll be cold?”
“Yes, for shit’s sake! Yes!” I hollered, finally reaching my limit with her concern over me.
“Yes. Right away”
Slowly the tightness of her tail decreased from around my body, almost like she hesitated to let go. ‘Right away’, huh? As more and more of my body was freed, it felt like stepping out of a pool of water when your body is so used to the water’s temperature; just instant chills as my body was engulfed by the cooler air outside of Sateen’s embrace. Once enough of my body was free, I immediately scrambled and kicked my way out of her tail and tumbled onto the floor with a thud. She gasped at my little dismount.
I stood up instantly and stretched my body. It felt great, well except for the spot in which I hit the floor. I may have been mostly out of it, but I definitely remember my body screaming in pain as I wandered about. Now I felt like I woke up from a good night’s rest; and I got to sleep til noon as well. Woohoo. But I couldn’t figure out why. Considering that my head was the only part that wasn’t “submerged” in her, which coincidentally was the only other part that still ached, it must have been her body… somehow.
But I wasn’t concerned with that right now. I was up and ready to go. And considering how my body was, I really felt like a badass. Until I remembered that I was, in fact, naked under there. I turned to her and, wouldn’t you know it? She was staring at me like an adolescent that snuck into a strip club, with her attention pointed a little south toward my still present hard-on staring back at her. Snuggling with her did more of a number on me than I thought. Yeah, little Johnny was eager to say ‘Hello’.
“Oh, shit!” I sputtered as I scrambled to grab a nearby frying pan to hide my green eggs and ham. Well, my pink eggs and sausage. “What’s the matter with ya? You still believe in the birds and bees story? Now hand me my clothes!”
“Uhh oh yeah. I forgot” she said as she quickly turned and gather my clothes. “They’re still damp…”
“I don’t care if they’ve been dipped in that nasty-ass Lake Victoria. Just give me back my dignity”
She said nothing and tossed them at me, hitting me in the face and catching me off guard.
“Now turn away. You’ve seen enough” I insisted, embarrassed as ever.
After I dressed myself, dammit my clothes really were damp but fuck it, I checked my equipment. Minus one valuable armor set, I still had my head gear, my utility belt with some minor damages, and both of my pride and joys; the LAD-42 handguns. Thank Christ.
“Fuck!” I shouted out, startling Sateen. This was bad. Really bad. I realized my portal tracking device must have been heavily damaged in the fight. From the looks of it, it was partially fried and pretty shattered. Maybe I could do something to repair it, but that was sure as hell unlikely. You can only patch up a Pinto so much before you realize you’re better off walking. Now I would be left in the dark on where any more portals would turn up. Fucking great.
“What’s the matter now? Oh… that device was already damaged went I found you” she said, probably noticing me sulking over my tracker like a kid sulks over a broken toy.
“Nevermind. It’s alright”
It really wasn’t alright, you fibber.
“What was it for?”
“I refer you to my first statement. Now, where is this Dragon’s cave, huh?” I said with a head of steam. Now that I had adrenaline pumping into my brain, I was eager to get into some more trouble.
“Well, that may be difficult since there is no trail that leads there. You see, she’s very private”
“Well she’s about to have some pretty heavy company. Now spill it”
She nodded. “Okay, uh, if you go about two miles south along the trail outside, you will come to the ruins of a small fortress. If you look at the largest mountain, you might be able to spot her cave entrance, though it is rather far. And reaching it will be quite difficult”
Vague but what else did I have to go on? I doubt I could charter a Griffon to fly my ass up there.
“Fair enough. I’ll figure it out from there”
“If you don’t mind me saying, you might just want to forget about your armor. It will probably be pointless since trying to convince a Dragon to part with any of their horde is nearly impossible. Might I recommend a Ren Xiongmao to help you negotiate with her?”
“Negotiate? Fuck that, she stole it from me”
“Oh… well, uhh, if you aren’t going to negotiate, then how are you going to get you armor back?”
She really can’t figure this out? Nice but kinda thick.
“Gee, let me think. Hmmm…” I hissed, words dripping with condescension. “How about I do the same thing she did to me; just fucking take it”
“But… what if she won’t let you?” she asked genuinely concerned.
I simply shot her a tough-guy glare and cracked my knuckles. “Do I look like I’m gonna take ‘no’ for an answer?”
Sateen audibly gasped, complete with both hands over her mouth. “You mean… you, you’re going to battle her?” she said shocked by my boldness.
“Hey, you finally figured it out. Good for you. But if it comes down to that, yes” It probably would come to that.
“But, but, you’re not going up there alone, are you?”
“Bullshit. What makes you think I’m not?”
“You can’t battle a Dragon alone! You will need significant forces with you!”
“No backup, no choice. And there’s only enough spoils for one victor. Besides, what’s so high and mighty about a Dragon anyway? In my eyes, she’s just a thief with a fetish for shiny things”
“Yes but, no one questions the strength of a Dragon. The people and mamono in these parts are not powerful enough to challenge her, even if they wanted to”
“Yeah right. A Dragon is just a big lizard with too much hot air. And way too big of an ego”
“She mostly just keeps to herself. She causes no problems for anyone else”
“I sure as hell can’t say that! And I hate arrogant people. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll just go up there and pop her ego”
“But it’s so foolish!” she pleaded.
“Well good decisions tend to elude me. And she stole from me, after all. So let her be stubborn; I can be just as stubborn” I sneered as I opened the door to leave.
“But what will you do plan on doing when you face her?” she called to me.
“I don’t know. I’m making it up as I go” I unconfidently muttered back at her. No fibbing here people. I really had no fucking idea.
“Wait!” Sateen called again. I turned back to her and saw the despair in her eyes. She really was concerned with my safety, even though I would probably not see her again after this. Touching.
“I… If you feel you must battle her, then may I suggest that you should engage her inside her cave? She won’t turn into her true form while inside and risk the safety of her horde and herself” she said before she looked away with widened eyes and a shocked expression. I don’t think that she could believe she had just gave some combat advice. Yeah, something tells me that she hasn’t seen too much action nor has she sought it out. Pretty good for a first try considering the biggest concern in her workplace would be if the pools had enough chlorine.
“Really…? Well, that’s a good place to start” I chimed.
“Please, are you sure that you’d rather go on this dangerous quest of yours instead of staying here and letting me embrace, ah, I mean tend to you?” she said hopefully.
“‘Cuddle’, what you meant to say is ‘cuddle’. Why do you keep bringing that up? Don’t you have something for your little night-terrors? Didn’t you own a damn teddy bear growing up?” I snapped. Though considering what I was probably in for up there, this wasn’t too bad of an alternative. But like she said earlier; what I was doing was foolish. What can I say? I’ve been gifted with that particular talent.
“I can’t help it. It’s just that… I’m very cold”
Oh shit, how could I forget. My cold-blooded savior needed some in-door heating. I guess that explains it. But she is a mamono after all. There are several alternatives for getting warm, but the choice of laying with a guy kind of landslides the competition.
“Just a second” I sighed as I grabbed a wet log from outside. I walked back in and threw the log into the stove. Lucky for her I had a fire potion in my coat. A few drops of that stuff was like a cup of lighter fluid and a match all in one; dampness be damned. Within seconds of applying the fluid to the log, Sateen now had a roaring flame in the stove to keep herself thawed out.
“There you go. Sorry but I don’t have any marshmallows” I said. Come to think of it, why didn’t I do that before? Hmmm. I mean, I doubt she would have preferred this method as opposed to hugging me but on top of that… I guess… I enjoyed being cuddled by her. Yeah, I suppose so. That and I simply didn’t think of it at the time. Idiot.
I left her enjoying the fire and walked toward the door. “Wait” she called to me. What the hell does she need now? “Thank you so much” she said with a smile as warm as the fire. “If you ever need me, you can find me at the Ryu’s temple about seven miles north of here. It’s overlooking the small town of Crimdale. I wish you the best and hope to see you again. Thank you for letting me serve you and for helping me to stay warm”
“Don’t mention it, Snow White. As long as I’m guaranteed some privacy, maybe I’ll stop in for a dip in the hot springs. See ya” I mused as I stepped out the door.
“Wait” she called again. Holy shit, can’t I just leave already!? Turning around she was retrieving something next to the stove. She turned back around holding a small bag. “I made you a sandwich for the road. Please take it” she blushed.
Get this chick. Now she wants to pander to me like Veina does. She’ll make a great mother. That is if she can muster up the guts to talk to a guy without going all red. My stomach convinced me to take it. It might be my last meal.
I walked over and grabbed her going away present. At least no one was around to see me take it then tease me about it like in gradeschool. Assholes.
As I took it, Sateen abruptly leaned forward and hugged me tenderly. “Please… be safe. I don’t think she should have taken your armor, but please keep in mind that she is not evil or malicious. Just do what you think is right. I’ll pray to Lady Gieshu for your safety. And I really have enjoyed our time together” she whispered before backing off and bowing to me. A soft smile on her face as she released me.
Uhh, alright then.
“Every little bit helps, right?” I murmered as I stepped out the door and shut it. Swell. Now I feel good and ready to storm the Dragon’s castle, so to speak, like a badass. That is until I decide to pay attention to my throbbing head again.
To keep things simple, after a few twists and turns I arrived at the ruined fortress and spotted the cave with my binoculars. Pretty damn far, but hey, my feet weren’t bleeding yet, so what’s another couple miles on my already aching dogs? Fortunately for me on the way there, I came across the route I took toward the portal site. I figured I’d make a stop on the way there and recover my arsenal on wheels. I’d need it.
Thankfully, my horse and cart were still there. Good thing that my horse wasn’t too picky about Sateen’s sandwich, because that was all he was gonna get. I retrieved fresh ammo for my firearms and a few of my elixirs. Good to have some options for chemical warfare. I also took some of my newer inventions that I had scrambled together with the resources provided to me from the Hornet Queen’s favor. Granted, this stuff was still, what would be considered, prototypes, but now was as good a time as ever for some field testing. And besides, I didn’t really have a fucking choice. But maybe there was something at the portal site I could use…
Cautiously I entered the Skarlik camp; what a fucking scene. You talk about a warzone, this was it. Lots of smoldering debris, collapsed tents, blown apart dugouts, and various Skarlik bodies littered about. Some of them looked like they got a clean death, others… not so lucky. Easy enough for me to stomach since years of watching trashy movies had solidified me to the occasional gory scenes.
I’d like to think that I was a regular super-soldier to be able to cause this amount of damage, which might bode well for me in my upcoming showdown with the Dragon. But if the fact that my memory was eluding me and Sheena had to rescue my ass was anything to go by, it was most likely just some stupid luck. Again.
Regardless, I couldn’t help but wonder just what in the blue Hell I did earlier? It was like a carnival sideshow. A jeep was stuck in a tree. The fuck? A line of five Skarliks were impaled on a single pole. Uhhh… okay. A turret gun’s barrel was completely U-turned. Strange. Apples, yeah apples, were everywhere. I guess the tree, that coincidentally had a few squashed Skarliks under it, must have been ripped from that large crater and tossed across the camp… somehow. Thus explaining Isaac Newton’s inspiration having been rained down all over the place. Even some apples had fallen onto a computer keypad and almost spelled a dirty word. Of course. Part of a generator was still spinning, even though a Skarlik’s body was caught on the end of it, ridiculously dragging the corpse around. And a motor’s engine looked like it was fired like a cannonball straight through another generator. And probably a few Skarliks too. Yuck.
Just what in fuckest of fuckups happened here?
Well lookie here; it was a severed Skarlik head that looked a little like Don Rickles. So this was the motherfucker who put that thought in my head. What an asshole.
But enough site seeing. Where was the armory? That was what I was looking for. And nothing could stand in my way. Except for some unopened rations. Mine!
It wasn’t too long however until I found what was once called the armory. Only now there was a deep crater with nothing in the nearby vicinity. I get the feeling that a big bang had gone boom. Someone must have caught an ammo cache or a generator or something in the crossfires. I bet it was me. Just my fucking luck. Only scrips and scraps remained. And it looked like there had been an overload in an energy-based source, so I’m surprised that even those scraps were left. Even so, there wasn’t much to salvage. Anything that I recognized as a weapon was damaged or not functional. Apparently, this Skarlik unit was armed, but didn’t have much in the way of reserves. After I introduced myself, their small artillery supply was now even smaller. In fact, lots of the weapons that I’d seen around the camp were no longer battle-savy, thanks to my well thought executed surprise attack. This camp was a goddamn scrapyard now. But even as a scrap yard, I wasn’t equipped to haul away any of the bigger stuff. The smaller weapons were as useless as finding an antique gun from World War 2. Some time in the shop, and I might be able to revive a few things, but I wasn’t near my shop was I? Motherfucker, I had hoped for much bigger spoils after my… fuck it, I’m still counting it as a victory for me.
But my victory here would be short lived. I had a Dragon’s ass to kick.
One useful thing that wasn’t damaged was a few packs of heavy duty batteries. These babies were the equivalent of five car batteries in a nice compact, portable design. Finally some good news. Other than those, there wasn’t much useful at the moment. Mainly nothing to help me in my confrontation with the Dragon. But that wasn’t gonna stop me. Equipped with my guns, elixirs, batteries, and prototypes homebrew weapons, I tried to convince myself that I was ready as I decided to move out. I failed, but I was too pissed at this Dragon to let a little detail like that stop me. Not even the detail of how the hell I was going to find any more portals in the future now that my tracker was expired past it’s warranty. Dammit, I didn’t know what to do. But let’s worry about one shitty situation at a time.
I headed out toward the cave, as ready as I would ever be. The base of the mountain wasn’t too far from the camp, actually. Only one small detail: I had forgotten that there wasn’t a path up to this cave. Just sections of very uneven ground, with the rest being flat-out climbing. It may have not been hardcore rock-climbing, but it was steep enough that my equipment made it feel like it was. Damn, and here I was having left my life-line cable in my other pants.
Oh well. Up, up, and away.
My journey up through the rocks could definitely be called “roughing it”. I may have not be traveling vertically, but dammit to Hell it was tough on my hands and feet. I could see my target on the biggest mountain, but getting there was a whole different story. Whether it was drop-offs, unclimbable rocks, or some other pain in the ass obstacle, I had to take several detours.
But this valiant son of a bitch was far too determined to get justice to give up now. That, and I just didn’t know when to quit.
After what usually felt like an eternity, I stopped for another much needed break. I usually took one once I found a spot that I could actually sit comfortably in, which was rarer than I would have thought. Luckily, I brought along three separate canteens of water with me. As I drank up, I ignored my instincts and stupidly looked down. Fuck me. I must have been about one-hundred yards up. With all my huffing, I could tell the air was starting to get thinner. My equipment was as helpful as an anchor is to someone who skipped swimming class. Maybe I would suffocate and not have to fight this Dragon. Yeah right. I knew I was far too stubborn for that to happen.
While I caught my breath, I found myself thinking of Veina again. Seriously, you idiot? You’re about to trespass into the home of big chameleon with a nasty disposition, and yet you’re still harping on whether or not you have a soft spot for that she-devil?
Yes, I suppose I was harping on that. Maybe I did have soft spot. After all, she did give me deeper insight into mamono and that they loved someone as much as they lusted for them. That look in Veina’s eyes served as proof of that. So the more I thought about Veina, just maybe…
What are you doing you stupid bastard? Did you forget that she’s a fucking Demon? That her kind is known for their mind games?
But she seems to really mean what she says.
So she’s nice; big deal, you sucker. You think lying isn’t cross-dimensional?
She’s put up with me for so long now. No matter how much of a dick I was.
Exactly. A beautiful girl putting up with a cynical son of a bitch like you? That alone raises some suspicions.
But why put up with it this long though? What’s to gain from it?
Oh gee, let me think… a new fucking pet, for instance? A new recruit? An XP boost to her Demonic power thanks to that juicy gas tank you got between your legs? All of the above? And I’m not just talking about Veina. I’m talking about all mamono.
Well I haven’t seen any evidence that suggests that they’re forcing men to be their obedient little dogs.
Listen dumbass. Did you forget that she works for the radicals? That bitch Druella is the puppeteer hiding behind the curtain. And her mommy has a bad Napoleon complex. Trusting them would be no better than trusting a fucking Kardashian with the presidency… again.
But what if she does really love me? I don’t think I’m ready for that, but fuck me if I decide to freeze her out.
Oh yeah? Then how do you feel about growing two horns on your head and one in your crotch, huh?
Shit, you’re right; I forgot about that. Mamono’s demonic energy ends up turning dudes into Incubi. Fully armed with a raging boner and an unlimited supply of man-juice.
Just how the Demon Lord likes it. Veina, too.
But wait. With my magic-immunity, could I even become an Incubus?
I’d say that there’s a strong chance of that. Sex does it, and Veina would be hell-bent on giving you plenty of that. It’d be like a drug; enough to maybe turn me into an addict. And you don’t know for sure if you’re an addict until you are one.
Is it really that bad? I know the thought of doing it with Veina has crossed my mind more than a few times. Maybe she’s just trying to help me out.
Oh boy, now you’ve lost it asshole. After you become a monstrous fitness model with the priorities of a teenage boy, you just assume that you would be the same person you are now? What guarantee is there that your mind won’t be reprogrammed by her charms? None, and you know it. Are you willing to sacrifice your humanity for a sweet… very sweet piece of ass? You may be a major league asshole, but that is still the original ‘you’ after all. It’s all you fucking have left. And Hollywood has shown you how bad remakes are. Also, were all the other guys who became Incubi willing to sacrifice their humanity before they changed? Did they get a choice? What do you say to that, huh? So let’s not drop the subject of brainwashing just yet. So come to your fucking senses.
I haven’t lost it.
Yes you fucking have.
What makes you think that?
In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve been talking to yourself. Dipshit.
Son of a bitch, he was right. Uh, I mean I was right! I was having a two-way conversation with myself this whole time.
Goddamn mountain air.
I figured I should get my ass back to climbing and occupy my mind with something else other than that stuff. Like not falling to my death so I could reach the top and fight the strongest monster around these parts. That’s a much healthier state of mind.
With a little more motivation than usual, I finally managed to reach my destination. With having to search for the best possible routes to take through the mountainous terrain, it probably took me around three and a half hours to make it here. I stood up and found myself at the entrance to the cave. It was as imposing as most cave entrances are. The path leading in looked well-worn, like something big and heavy regularly traveled here. Gulp. I couldn’t tell if it was natural or said big thing had carved itself a home here. Dark on the inside with probably a family of bats ready to fly out like in the movies. Stalactites hung from the ceiling at the opening like a giant, hungry mouth; and I was just the pill for this cave’s bad case of heart-burn. The opening was bigger than it had looked from a distance, but still not big enough to house an old-school sized Dragon. So Sateen’s advice looked promising.
After taking a moment to catch my breath and get another swig from my last canteen, I gave a quick inventory check and I entered the cave like the man on a mission that I was. Simple, right? Keep the fight on the inside of the cave and be smart. Got it. And if things aren’t going according to plan, just remember one thing…
You don’t have any reinforcements to back your ass up, so do better, loser!