No author’s note this time. Be sure to comment.
It had been almost a week since me and Veina’s little “out-of-Order” day at the fair. And it’s also been a couple days since Veina opened up to me. In that time, she’s gone back to her usual self; flirting with me shamelessly, making everything sound lewd, and giving me her own personal striptease for something as simple as dropping a plate of scrambled eggs on the table in front of me. You know, the regular stuff. Thank God. That other lovey-dovey stuff she did that night was perplexing and had kinda creeped me out.
Yeah, I’ve definitely been in this world too long.
Even so, I couldn’t help but think back to how emotional she was that night. When she told me all that stuff about her unrelenting love and adoration. And of course I remember how… well, how memorable it was to have her cuddling up with me all night. The softness of her skin, her sweet addicting smell, and her extraordinary sexual vibes all leaving quite an impact on me. But that’s beside the point. I remembered what she had said to me, too!
I just so happen to be dealing with Jacob at the exchange shop in Dewcliff when I decided to probe him. His eight-legged wife happen to be lovingly accompanying him. He told me how they both met. Long story short, he was an Order follower and was scared shitless when she approached him, apparently using magic to hide her eight legs up to that point. After she revealed her true colors, she gushed all over him and gave him the whole “love business”. One faithful night later, also a painful night if what I’d heard about a Jurougumo’s kinky side was true, he confessed his undying love for her as well.
Of course, it still sounded like brainwashing to me. Yes my snarky side was still beating that dead horse. But again, no zombie eyes or voice, and no chains holding him in place. Man, on top of that, he told me of the time she saved his ass from some bandits who held him up. She gave them a taste of her “night face” during the day-time. Ouch. Now I had a pretty good idea of what Jacob was no doubt getting to see every night, though in a more affectionate, albeit BDSM, kind of way. I had to be honest, all of this was only supporting what Veina had told me about mamono right from the beginning. They’re all just so fucking affectionate, just in extremely conventional and unconventional way. Snarkiness be damned, maybe I had to bury that suspicious dead horse I’d been kicking.
Even though I still didn’t completely understand everything, Jacob and Veina both had affected my outlook on mamono from that point on. I used to just think of them as scheming, slut-bags who only wanted to use men for a few somersaults in the hay. And to a degree, that was still true. But I just had to accept the fact that, for them, love and lust were one and the same. Some mamano just fell in love with the first person that they seduced, trapped, attacked, raped, or just railroaded into playing a game of hide the sausage. If they loved someone, that’s primarily all they thought about doing with them. I still don’t know if that’s very generous of them or very selfish. Before all the mamono became supermodels, all they wanted was human flesh. And now… they still do want human flesh; just in a completely different way. They just wanted sex even more so than any of my horniest friends back on Earth. The only difference was that they actually stayed loyal to that one person… unlike all of my horniest friends back on Earth.
That’s the scenario I guess I’ll go with. That hook has been dangling in front of me for so fucking long, so I suppose I’ll bite.
Now, when it comes down to this spirit energy stuff that they get from men’s… well you know, I was still hesitant. According to stories back on Earth, fictional stories granted, a Succubus lures a guy in, literally, and sucks out his life force, leaving him a dried, empty husk. Funny, they give the guy the night of his life. So why would things be any different here?
Well, I figured that with the amount of whoopee that these porn stars wanted, there would be far less guys around than I was seeing. Hell they even turned guys into Incubi instead of out-right killing them. Either that, or they sucked the life force out of these dudes slower than a Rally’s menu sucks the life out of a fat-ass homebody, which would make them the most ineffective killers I’d ever seen. So I say fuck it. Damn, bad joke again. Maybe Veina was being honest about that as well. Maybe it was just a way to keep up their vitality and keep their boobs big and all that other stuff she said. I suppose I’ll take her word for it and just call it intuition. That is until the day that I find a guy’s skin blowing past me like a dried tumbleweed. Then there’s going to be another shitstorm blowing in her direction.
Fine. So these mamono weren’t all like the Natasha Henstridge alien from the film “Species”. But that just means that I would treat them like any other people; decent on the inside but still capable of being just as shitty as humans could be. So I viewed them just as cynically as my own kind. And I still didn’t agree with all of their values. Trepidation can be a hard thing to kill.
Now what about that Demon Lord? The jury was still out on her. Sure, I could tolerate mamono better, but I wasn’t going to put any faith in her. The jury better hold on to that noose.
True to my word, I showed Veina around my lab. She was quite enthusiastic to say the least. I bet she would have cleaned out my gift shop if I had one. Though some of that enthusiasm came from her filthy imagination. I’ve never heard someone make up a sexual fantasy about a JT-1416 fuse before. She deserves a medal for that one.
Despite that stuff, I gave her the basics as to what technology from my world was all about. With my immunity to magic, she found it hard to understand that I wasn’t Gandalf; that I didn’t have powers and that the only magic I used was from the elixirs I’d won through gambling. Though I conveniently left out the part where I tangled with various rapists in the ghetto towns to get those elixirs. Wouldn’t want to turn her blood-red eyes green with jealousy and send her into Maximum Carnage mode, would we? As for my weaponry, I gave her a simple idea as to what each of my weapons did and a preview of some of my new, wonderful toys that I’d been cooking up. Though some projects, I kept secret; gotta maintain some of my mystique.
Trying to work with her in the lab was proving to be rather difficult. Sure, every mechanic has a dirty calendar in his shop. Call me crazy, but when the actual girl from the calendar is sprawled out over a table while dreamily undressing you with her imagination, it’s really distracting when trying to focus on your work. So I told her that I needed to be alone and away from distractions; in my usual subtle, respectful way, of course.
But enough of my… not-romance and back to business. I decided to cash in my favor with that Hornet Queen. Now I didn’t have anything particular in mind, but that was even better as it allowed me to window-shop with an infinite credit card, if you know what I mean. Particularly interesting to me was going into the armory, headed by a cute pair of mamono blacksmiths: an Automaton and a Cyclops. Right next door to the armory was a magic brewery run by a busty Dark Mage. No, not the same Dark Mage I had ran into once before. Thank God. She may have still been in rehab for all I knew.
Regardless, those were the only places that I was going to find anything useful, as strange as that may have been.
Most of the potions the Dark Mage had were pleasure potions. All kinds of stuff was available. I could have picked out fetish elixirs like beverages from a restaurant menu. I wonder if you could get free refills. Other than that, there were a bunch of seduction and romance potions. I was planning on raiding an enemy, not raiding a mamono’s panties.
If my hunch was right, then magic wouldn’t work on them either. That meant that I couldn’t turn them all into little kids with a bunch of loli potions and give them all wedgies. Damn.
The good news was that the Dark Mage did have some more, combat-focused potions. The bad news was that she didn’t have that many. It’s easy to see where her priorities lie. Sure they could hold me over for a few battles but I wouldn’t exactly be walking away with a surplus of goodies. That sucked but beggars can’t be choosers. So I walked out with a small collection of liquid tricks. Fire, ice, dark essence, illusion, and several other consumables to add to my arsenal.
I also claimed a good amount of “ingredients” from various mamono. A scale or bit of fur or anything that basically represented their gimmick, so to speak. Even though I didn’t know the first thing about the physiology of these girls, that wasn’t going to stop me from trying to harness some of their powers. I might even blow up my lab in the process. Fingers crossed.
The Automaton and Cyclops had stuff more along my lines. Whether it was a bit of metal scrap or a stolen Order weapon, I had free reign of their shop. Cue my best cartoonishly evil laugh.
I claimed some scattered weapons that looked to be in pretty decent shape, as well as a fairly well-preserved set of armor. It wasn’t as durable or pliable as my armor but you never know when an idea will hit you. The weapons ranged from a dagger to a mini catapult. I’d find some kind of use for them, even if was just for spare parts. Or maybe I could give them a few upgrades. Hmmm…
What was really interesting to me were some spare parts from the Order. They weren’t particularly interesting and didn’t fit together, but they seemed like some kind of devices. In this medieval-like period, these stood out because they almost seemed like something from my world. Not just some stone and wood slapped together with mud. Maybe the Order weren’t as dumb as I thought. If they had a way of building a powered up, functioning device not too different from my stuff, well maybe Santa Claus does visit this dimension after all. Spreading joy and happiness to all the ho, ho, ho’s.
I might actually be looking forward to meeting up with the Order again. I haven’t interrogated anyone since my past squad captain ordered me to help him find out who wrote “PUSS IN BOOTS” on his tent while he was sleeping. So I was his right hand man through it all. I was also the culprit. Ha!
With my new outlook on these monster chicks, I figured that the Hornet Queen actually was eternally grateful. Being the opportunistic schmuck that I am, I convinced her to give me a permanent tab in the blacksmith’s shop and the brewery. A tab that only she would pay, of course. Awesome. Now if I need a little extra hands for some craftsmanship or a chemist for some hocus pocus crap, I’d know where to go. I may just assemble my own personal Manhattan Project.
Those girls better be on standby because I had lots of ideas cooking in my head. Oh and I made a little arrangement with the Queen in which these gals helped me with no questions asked about my business.
I’ll definitely treasure that little perk from her.
I walked through the door to my apartment like a bread-earner after a long day at work. I’d spent the last couple of days repairing my armor and cooking up a few new surprises. With the toys I got from the ever-grateful Hornet queen, I could do a lot of experimenting. Tedious work but also necessary and kind of fun, to be honest.
I almost had the urge to shout out “Honey, I’m home” as I entered. I shuttered at the thought, despite me not viewing Veina as an intruder like I had previously.
“You here, Veina?” I called out.
I could hear a commotion coming from the bathroom.
“Just a second, my love” she called back with a slightly frantic tone in her voice.
What the hell was that all about? This calls for a little snooping.
I peeked around the corner of the bathroom door, just enough so Veina couldn’t see me. Veina stood in front of the mirror, with a focused look in her ruby eyes. Now from what I could tell, she looked provocative like she always did. I couldn’t remember a time that she wouldn’t make it as a “supermodel-elitist”.
Unless that bump to the head had come back for an encore, or she appeared to be, well, looking herself over in the mirror in a frantic effort to try, try and make herself more presentable. She was running her claws through her hair to straighten it as if it was ever knotted, she inspected herself as she stuck her ass out, giving her a sleek, playboy-like demeanor, she gave her large breasts a quick rub down, and she brushed off the non-existent dust over various parts of her body.
Are you fucking kidding me? She thinks she needs improvement? I took Veina for a lot of things, but being vain enough to think that her sensual body needed to be tampered with, that wasn’t one of them. But the determined look in her eyes told me that she was hell-bent on finding something to improve. I could have been a rampaging drunk and realized that her figure was the living embodiment of perfection. It was like trying to polish a diamond into something even more extravagant, it couldn’t fucking be done. All she had to do was enter a monk temple, armed with some yoga exercises and she could have transformed it into a triple-X stripclub overnight. Hell, she may have already done something like that, and even got Stan Lee as the DJ. But was she really that vain or just overly generous with how she wanted me to see her? Maybe both. Granted, I was a guy, so what did I know about grace and vanity. But I just couldn’t wrap my head around the notion of her being even the slightest bit self-conscious about… that!
In truth, though, she had said that she intended to be the best lover she could for me. And no amount of my snide remarks seemed to dissuade her. Did she really love me so much that she wanted to ensure that I received two-hundred percent from her every time I saw her? To give any less than everything she had to offer would be a sin in her eyes? So much that she had to put up such a fuss to fix what wasn’t broken? I’d never seen anyone that dedicated before. And over someone like me? It was really quite flattering, actually. And I felt compelled to tell her that she didn’t need to hassle.
But on the other hand, the whole thing was actually pretty hilarious the more I thought about it. To be in this kind position of power, so to speak, was too good of an opportunity to pass up. I chuckled quietly as I made my way back to the couch.
Call me an opportunist.
After Veina left her vanity mirror, she went to the kitchen and returned with dinner. As she approached, her sultry, seductive look had returned to her face with a vengeance, accompanied by that “come fuck me” strut.
Time for some fun.
“So Veina… you have a hard day?” I asked with quite a bit of perkiness.
Her face didn’t really falter from her lusty mood.
“My day was lovely. Even more so now that you’re back home” she complemented
“Oh. Okay. I was just wondering since you looked a little run down”
I could see her fighting so hard to keep her lusty expression from turning into a look of perplexity.
“Really?” she said with a slight gasp in her voice as she almost dropped the plates of food.
Hehehe. Being an asshole can be fun. I’ll let her worry some more before I let her in on my little joke. Call it dicking around with her, just not in the way she wanted.
During dinner, she had managed to calm down. That was abundantly clear by the way she turned the process of eating food into a fucking Broadway musical. Sensually moaning and groaning at each bite she took as she alluringly stretched her body in ways that I don’t think a regular body could or should do. Naturally, she wanted to flaunt how she “improved” herself. Just imagine what dessert would be like.
I paid no attention to her. At least I tried to pay no attention to her as I ate my meal. Delicious as always. She definitely knew her way around the kitchen.
In an effort to derail her mind games, I decided to play some of my music on my I-PRO. Now you think a collection of music from movies, video games, classical, pop culture, and bands would be jarring to someone who has only heard the most old school type of music. You know? Actual instruments. Not the more computer and electrical style of my world. But I found that she picked up on the beats fairly well and actually enjoyed herself; complementing me on the variety and energetic nature of my world’s music. Cool.
With dinner finished, I wondered what to do next. I wasn’t exactly tired enough to go to sleep which meant that I’d have to spend another evening of Veina trying to direct me toward the landing lights that led to the bundle of joy between her legs.
Placing her plate down, she looked dreamily into my eyes and said “How shall we amuse ourselves, my love?” Her tail rose in my general direction, probably enticing me to rub a few of them out for her like I accidentally did that one time. She proceeded to open her legs, Sharon Stone style.
Clear for landing.
But that was actually a good question, now the she mentioned it. I had my head so preoccupied with the Skarliks and finding my way back home, that I hadn’t really spent a lot of time amusing myself. I mostly just drank away my problems and slept it off afterwards. Rinse and repeat.
So… now what?
“You don’t happen to know where to get fifty-two Trumparts and a pair of Mimics, do you?” I asked. It was my best chance at getting a chance to play some solitaire, since I figured Veina wouldn’t want to cough up something as boring as a normal deck of cards.
“Oh my. You have something fancy in mind, my love?” she retorted with a lewd lick of her lips and a sparkle in her eyes.
“Forget it” I said after realizing how stupid it would be to gamble with the Devil. Or at least one of his PR agents.
Veina giggled and said “So that just leaves you and me then. What can a man and a woman do to pass the time?” If her red eyes acted like lasers, they would have gone full Predator and painted me as their target.
With my biggest sigh to date I replied “Veina, how many times do I have to tell you? Just because we slept one night in each other’s arms, that doesn’t make us a lovers”
The more that sentence came out of my mouth, the less sense it made.
“Oh we belong to one another, my love. I haven’t forgotten that night. And I never will forget how I slept soundly in the arms of a courageously sexy man like you. It was exhilarating”
“You’re forgetting that we didn’t do it. Nothing has been sealed as far as I’m concerned”
“All in good time. That night only deepened my love for you. Why, just thinking of that faithful day when we do consummate our love for each other is already making me feel… wet” she purred lustfully.
Isn’t it great that I don’t get a say in any of this?
“That was just for the one night. Just to calm you down”
“And my words to you that night were more sincere than anything I’ve ever said before in my life. Your words and feelings were also true. Or do you doubt my sense for those kinds of emotions?”
Shit-balls. She really did remember that night very vividly. I did say some silly things, didn’t I? Seeing Veina’s eyes filled with the deepest desire, more than I ever had seen before; burning at me and me alone. And I do remember actually being touched by her protectiveness. It was a new experience for me but I have to say it was fairly enjoyable. At least I thought it at the time.
“Listen you Dirty Duchess, let’s just do something traditional tonight, huh? Like normal people”
“But to all mamono, the best and most natural kind of fun is the time spent with their husband” she said as a matter-of-factly. “What could be more fun than that?”
“I know, I know. All the kissing and mushy stuff. Well let’s take a stab at something else!” I insisted with an impatient roll of my eyes. Though I wasn’t as angry as one would have thought. Honestly, I had been nicer to her since that night. It took away a couple of dick levels in my XP bar. Shit, it took me years to build those up.
“Anything for you, my love” she snickered. “So, how did you amuse yourself back on your world when you were bored?”
Okay, off to a decent start. Just gotta lay off the Rule 34 stuff.
“Me? Well, I was a video gamer myself”
“‘Video’? What is that?” she questioned like a little kid.
“Okay, here’s the vanilla version of it: it’s a little screen that we watch things on. Think of it like a magic box. And in that box, you can show little theater productions right there in your own home. And sometimes, we can control these productions with a little tool in our hands. Sometimes we even interact with this theater production around us, even though it’s not real. We call it, virtual reality”
“Wait, how can you interact with it if it’s not real?”
“No it’s really there it’s just…”
Aw shit. I can tell where this is going; right down to the town of one thousand questions and no roads out. I shouldn’t have picked a topic that was so technical.
“Shall I ask a question now, my love?” Veina interjected, probably sensing my inner conflict. Good save, girl.
“Go for it, Spade Butt”
“Okay (ahem). What kind of clothes do women wear in your world?”
“Mmmm, depends on the girl. Most girls I knew just wore jeans and blouse or T-shirt. Nothing special”
“What kinds of extravagant clothing do they wear?”
Oh, so that’s what she’s trying to get at. Good, I was looking for a game to play.
“Women sometimes wear these shorts that don’t even go past heir ass. Their top is just like a strip of cloth that barely covers the bottom of the chest and shows off lots of the goods. Their boots are a sleek black leather that takes a good hour to slip into and another hour to take off” I sneered. Sure it was typical, but I just said the first sleazy thing I could think of.
“What about more… alluring wardrobes?” she asked with, ironically, a child-like innocence in her voice. Her face was as bawdy as ever, though.
“Curious, huh? Well they wear a variety of kinky shit. Leather, rubber, spandex, but usually they wear a soft, lacy bikini-like variations that barely seem stitched together. They look kind of like frosting on a cake or something”
“Really…?” she cooed as her mind raced with thoughts. Probably immature thoughts.
Granted what I told her was tame by her standards. In that case, maybe I’ll have some fun and give her something more along her lines.
“That’s not even the best part. Their full get-up is a thick-plated armor with a heavy winter coat knitted onto it. The sleeves on this armor reach well past their hands and drag along the ground. Their bottom-wear is a actually a shirt with a barrel hanging around their hips. The barrel makes it a little awkward to walk around, especially with the burlap sacks that are tied together on their feet. They also sport a large, shoulder-wide brimmed hat on their head with their faces painted white and red. Oh and they wear these goggles made out of cheese. They also have to be carrying a big bag of sour cream” I said with a condescension in full swing. “We call it a ‘Meme Dream’.”
“My, my, my. Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just you, my love?” she stared dreamily at me while cupping her cheek.
“Neither. It’s just you and your teen fantasies” I shot back, figures she was turned on by that ridiculous bullshit I just shat out.
“I have to say, your world must be very fantastic to treat sex like that. I’d love to visit there”
“Cool your jets, girl. You’re not gonna want to take a plane ride to get there. It’s not as great as you think”
“Oh, but I do! It sounds like sex is revered as gloriously as we mamono treat it”
“That’s not true. Well okay it kind of is, but not like you gals. You see it as the holy grail. But in my world, it’s treated more like a day-old can of beer. Cheap to get, and quick to forget”
“So it’s traded off so easily? With no Order to object to it?”
“Yes and no. We still have marriages and all but most people just do it for fun. Just to let out some steam. We’re really loyal that way. But you’re treated as a piece of shit person for it. At least by decent people. Other shitheads will look at you like a celebrity. And I guess I kind of agree with those decent folks out there. I mean, it’s pretty fucking animalistic if you think about it”
And when I thought about it, lots of these girls were part animal, so go figure. Eat, sleep, fuck.
“Well, sex without love can be fun, but maybe we could change everyone’s outlook on it, hmm? Maybe we could make them treat sex differently” she said with a devious smile. And she wonders why I can’t stand the Demon Lord.
“How old did you say you were?”
“One-hundred and twenty seven years old”
“Gee, you don’t look a day over one hundred and sixteen” I joked.
“Oh you flatter me so”
Man, if STDs were a thing in this world, she would probably flaunt them like a fucking valedictorian flaunts their overcompensating list of accomplishments.
“Yeah? Well it’s my turn to ask a question” I said. I know that I already did ask her a question about her age but fuck it, I want another one. “So tell me, when you went to fight the Order in Gamberton, how did you do it? What kind of weapons do you Demons use?”
I mean, I know they probably flashed their tits at the opposition during the initial charge but I wanted to know the next attack phase.
“Interesting question. We Demons have an abundance of magic at our disposal. However most of our magic is used for seduction rather than combat. Some Demons don’t even engage in direct combat. But for those of us who do, well, we have various spells and tricks to battle against our foes. We also have some more devastating powers passed on to us by the Lilim we trained under. But we prefer to use our defeated foes as suitor husbands for our ‘unattached’ forces rather than kill them”
So I guess they leave the choice up to them: a forced and possibly vicious matrimony or death. How merciful of them.
“And what cute, little Lilim did you happen to train under?” I said with a smile snooty enough for a fashion designer.
She beamed a shrewd smile back at me with few playful perks of her eyebrows.
“Mmmhmm, I thought so” I scoffed. I could see Druella’s handiwork glowing in her eyes. “Alright so you just smack them around until you can stick them with a viagra. What else can you do?”
“Hmmm. In addition to magic, we are trained in hand-to-hand combat as well. We generally conjure our own specialized sword for such cases”
“Ah-ha. You’re a ‘hands on’ kind of fighter, aren’t you?”
“Yes… I can do wondrous things with my hands” she seductively flirted with me while playfully twirling her red-claws around.
“Ha, ha. Very funny. You don’t happen to have your little pig-sticker in your cloud storage, do ya?” I requested. I was curious as to how phallic it would look.
“Very well” she said as she held out her hand. A long elaborately decorated rapier, phallically named so score one for me, appeared in her hands. I could tell that she forged it herself. The details and patterns on the handle and blade matched her wardrobe quite accurately, both in design and color. And here I thought putting graffiti on a gun was the most personalizing thing you could do with a weapon.
“Not bad. Not bad at all” I commented.
“It’s demon realm steel” she boasted with a prideful swing of her blade.
“So? Does that mean it was discounted or something?”
“Demon steel works differently than regular steel, my love. It still acts as a conventional sword, but it doesn’t deal conventional damage. It’s magical properties allow us to drain an opponent’s strength from their bodies without inflicting any physical damage. We can also power our weapon to inject an enemy with instant pleasure upon contact. So we are able to drown their will to fight with sexual satisfaction”
“Oh… So it’s like one big-ass sedative and viagra all in one. Stick them and wait until they decide to give in”
“Then strip them of their armor, then their clothes, then their bachelorhood”
“Correct, again” she chuckled insidiously.
Damn right I’m correct. But wait. If their blade can also be used to basically “heat things up”, does that mean that they… use it on themselves in their leisure time? Awww, nasty!
“However, this is my business rapier. I have a different sword for more… personal matters” she added.
“‘Personal matters’? When is sticking a sword in someone not personal?” I questioned.
“Well, such as when an enemy threatens someone important to me. That is not a time when I feel very merciful” she cautioned with foreboding tone.
“Yeah, big deal. Anyone can swing around a blade and call themselves Zorro. But how good are you with it?” I said, curious if this confidence from her was just for show.
“Is a demonstration in order?”
“As a matter of fact, it is. Don’t go away” I said as I left for the kitchen. Moments later, I returned with five links of bologna. “How about you turn this bologna into some cold-cuts? Otherwise I’d say you’re the one who’s full of bologna” I challenged her with a mocking tone.
“Very well, my love” she complied.
We stood across the room from each; her in an elegant battle stance and me standing there like a cocky, wise-ass at a cornhole competition. But these wienies weren’t going into holes, nor mine if I could help it. I broke up the five bologna links and tossed one at her. In a flash, almost quicker than the eye could see, her blade swished through the air with tremendous grace. Veina’s smug smile stood triumphant as three individual slices of meat plopped onto the floor at her feet.
Well alright. I guess this little devil has done some practicing with her pitchfork.
“Nice. How about adding some flair into these next shots, huh?” I said, impressed by her first act.
“Of course” she answered back. I could tell by her scarlet eyes staring at me that she was imagining lewd things in her head. Arousing? No, I was more scared. When someone, who looks as not-so-innocent as Veina does, is slicing up meat with a sword and is also looking at you like a piece of beef, you kind of want to piss yourself.
The next three links of bologna weren’t subject to any more mercy than the first link. One she sliced crisscross, the second she sliced in half long-ways, and the third she cored like an apple.
Down to the last link. Will she end this with a bang?
I tossed it in rapidly spinning throw, just to try and screw her up. Fat chance of that. She simply impaled the chunk on the tip of her sword. She then brought it up to her mouth and sensually began to entertain the long, phallic shaped meat with oral passion. Slowly dragging her tongue along it’s base down to its tip, she latched her lips onto it and began to moan loudly. She continued licking and torturing the poor thing while, of course, eyeing me the whole time with that lusty twinkle in her eye.
End with a bang? Fuck that. She blew it out of the water. I’m not gonna lie, I was a little turned on by that. She widened her smile once she noticed me staring at her little loving tribute to Oscar Mayer.
My thoughts were interrupted by my tracking device going off in my belt holster. I retrieved it to see what was up. A signal just went off about twenty miles South of Vallick. I didn’t know that area at all.
Goddammit. Another portal opened up, sooner than I expected. Which meant that yours truly had another mess that needed to be cleaned up.
“Is something wrong, my love” said Veina now sitting on the couch. I wasn’t exactly doing a great job hiding my disgruntled expression.
“Uhh… no. Just a reminder that I had to be somewhere tomorrow” I answered her, partially lying out my ass.
“Good. Come sit here, my love” she said as she patted the spot next to her with an inviting grin.
While my mind was preoccupied with Skarliks, I still mindlessly wandered over and sat next to her, completely ignoring the fact that there was still chunks of bologna lying on the floor which began to stink up my apartment. One might know that we were playing with wieners. But maybe Veina was planning on that.
“I managed to get you something special, my love” she purred with anticipation. In her hand appeared a group of grapes. “They’re not too easy to come by”
“Thanks” I absent-mindedly said as I reached out for the grapes, my mind in too much of a haze to give a more creative show of gratitude.
Instead of handing them over, she pulled them back saying, “If you would allow me, I’d like to treat you to them myself. One… by… one”
“Sure” I relented, curious as to what she was thinking but mostly I relented because I was too preoccupied in my thoughts.
“Thank you” she chuckled “but first, lay your head down on my lap” she beckoned as she anxiously held her knees together.
“What do you have in mind?” I said, suspicious as to whether or not she was planning to have me taste her own brand of “cat food”. Pussy jokes; fun for the whole family.
“Shhh. Just relax yourself, my love. Ease the burden on your mind” she assured with a loving smile. “Just… release“
Okay that last word was said with a little too much emphasis to not be dirty.
Well, I could use a minute to collect my thoughts. And grapes were really fucking good. So I thought ‘why not?’ as I spread out on the couch, with my head coming to rest on the top of her thighs like a pillow. They were definitely soft enough for it. I looked up at her and she beamed down at me with a grin while she plucked a grape and alluringly placed it into my mouth.
I felt like Julius Caesar with that hooker, Cleopatra, feeding him one grape at a time like the royal pain in the ass he was. Just get a Hakutaku to paint a portrait of us. Call it “A Fool and His Demon: Grape Escape”
I sometimes found it hard to see Veina’s face as I looked up. Her generous breasts were like two mountains with her cleavage being a valley for us to peek at each other through. Talk about a game of peek-a-boob. They would also occasionally bump me in the face. Accidental, right? In addition to being so close to Veina’s ol’ love nest, well I couldn’t help but harden up. Et tu, little Johnny?
I wondered why I didn’t just enjoy the ride that Veina wanted to take me on. It would have to be amazing, right? I mean the carnal heat of this girl was disturbingly arousing. Why don’t I just sleep with her once… or thrice and be done with it?
Then I remembered why. Because it wouldn’t just be done. It’s what comes after the deed that worries me. I didn’t want to connect, well in more ways than one, if you know what I mean. I didn’t belong in this world and I didn’t want to trick myself into thinking that I do. As far as I knew I was wrong; there aren’t simple things like one night stands with mamono. She would never leave me if we had sex. More pain, more emotions, more tears, and yadda, yadda, yadda. I can’t worry about those kinds of things. I had to stay focused on getting back home. So forget it, you idiot. Don’t think about it. Priorities!
Even with my inner conflict to cock-block myself, I was enjoying a chance to relax like a pompous ruler. Naturally, her thighs felt great and her pleasant smell mixed well with the fruity atmosphere. Deep down, and despite my stubbornness, I guess I enjoyed seeing Veina’s more warm side again. She seemed to only be willing to show that side of her to me alone. Wait, I enjoyed being with Veina? Yeah… I guess I do. I mean, besides the obvious thing to enjoy about her, I enjoyed her company. Great. Now all I had to do was not choke on the damn grapes and ruin the mood.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, my love” she said as she dropped another grape into my mouth.
After chewing it and swallowing, I responded.
“You know, I’m fine sitting in silence”
“I want you to relax. Not just physically, but mentally. You should blow off some steam and get some things off your chest that may be vexing you. It’s good to let out these kinds of frustrations and inner tensions. Let them… come out”
Anything that was vexing me? Well there was one big thing that was vexing me on a regular basis, but I’ll leave that one out. And don’t think I didn’t notice her particular choice of words again.
Usually when one person says to another to blow off some steam, they’re usually insinuating that they should get laid. That would definitely not be a problem for me right now and Veina was more than willing to oblige. She was just dying to help me blow off that steam. But forget about it. Too many scenarios from which there was no turning back. I’ll just take the psychiatrist’s couch for now. And how many psychiatrists treat you free of charge and reward you for telling the truth. Though I suspect Veina would want compensation in a different way. Maybe even “cumpensation”
With a heavy sigh, I began.
“What’s to let out? I’m an alien from another dimension. I brought some other more dangerous aliens with me who have to be stopped. I salvage whatever I can for weapons. I’m surrounded by monsters who, in my world, are crafty killers. But here they’re all sexy nymphomaniacs all led by a power-hungry and overly ambitious leader. And on top of everything, I’m homesick. I haven’t had any ice cream in almost a year”
She began lovingly caressing my hair with one hand. While holding the grapes with her tail, she plucked the grapes with her other hand and fed them to me. “I’m sorry you miss your home, my love. It must be difficult for you”
“Yep. It’s difficult, alright. In fact, I’d say it’s downright brutal. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to stop the Skarliks. I mean, I have no idea what else could come through those portals. They could have an entire armory at their disposal. So yeah. Engaging them alone with only these weapons is a little nerve-racking”
Though if I did beat heavily armed enemies like them, it would be one hell of a payday for my repertoire. Like beating a boss in a video game who’s more than twice your power level. Jackpot.
“You don’t have to do it alone. I will be there to help you”
“Veina, don’t put yourself out like that. It’s my problem. My concern”
“You are my concern. I want to help you” she begged with her eyes filled with compassion.
I turned away and let out a stubborn sigh.
“You still don’t trust me, do you?” she asked disappointed.
“It’s not that, exactly. It’s just…” I confessed.
“…I don’t have an answer right now, okay? But when I do, you’ll be the first to know. For now, let’s not worry about it” I said trying to pacify her. Yeah, I lied again. I didn’t plan on telling her about the new portal opening.
She said nothing but smiled slightly and brushed her hand to my cheek back to my hair.
“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I want you to trust me. We mamono are very honest when we have feelings for someone”
Except for the manipulating part, that might be true. But old habits die hard.
“I’ll let you play with my firearms when I’m sure you won’t shoot me” I said with the distrust evident in my voice again. Even if she wasn’t an expert with my guns, I doubt her aim was as bad as the Special Edition’s Greedo was.
Like I said, old habits.
She ignored my sourness, and plucked another grape.
“So what made you an outcast?” she questioned innocently.
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t it very obvious? You’re not one for reverence in the face of someone much more powerful than you. I’ve seen that first-hand. Your mindset is paranoid, stubborn, and confrontational. So you can be rather difficult at times, my love. Yet I sense a nobleness deep within you; a moral conviction. Quite the intriguing mix, if I dare say. Such opposite attributes in the same being. Therefore, I’m curious to know what made you the way you are?” she said, much more curious than devious.
The direct approach, like I’ve come to expect from her.
“What can I say? Life can be a bigger bitch than the Demon Lord, herself. Reality is tough where I come from” I sulked.
“Is that why you’re such a rebel?”
“Well I’ve never made a conscious effort of being a rebel, and I never considered myself that. In fact the term ‘rebel’ is too juvenile for my taste. Only pretentious hipsters desperate for attention call themselves a ‘rebel’. If I ever woke up and found myself acting like a rebel, I’d have to kick my own ass. I’m simply a cynical realist with a big, snidey mouth; and being a cynical realist means accepting most things and people with a grain of salt. Especially those with power”
“Yes, it’s fairly clear that you have a problem with authority”
“Mmmm, I guess you’re right. I mean, they’re usually the ones that fuck over people the most. Either that, or they’re just too incompetent to be a good leader. Take your pick. That’s what too much power usually does to someone. The very definition of a corporate son of a bitch”
“And you think you could do better as a leader?”
“Me? Oh that’s a laugh” I scoffed. “You think I want that kind of responsibility? You’re looking at the guy who can’t even keep his own house clean; much less be a role model for anyone. I’m too busy with keeping my own ass off of the figurative and literal chopping block to lead other people to fortune and glory. So no. I don’t plan on being any kind if a leader. I’ve made too many mistakes for that kind of ambition”
“Well… do you want to talk about how you ended up in our world?” she asked, a hopeful smile growing on her face.
“No. I don’t” I grumbled. That was one mistake I wasn’t lucky enough to have been beaten out of my memory by the Order. Oh well. They’ll be other beatings where that could happen.
She lowered herself to me and cupped my chin and forehead with her clawed hands. She didn’t look upset by my grumpiness, more enchanted.
“Whatever the case, I’m so happy you did come into our world. Otherwise, I would never have found you. I was beginning to think that I was never going to find love. But you have given me that gift and so much more. In fact, just having you so close to my womanhood right now, why, I may just end up cu-” she dreamily said.
“Don’t push it, cream pie” I asserted but had my words fall on deaf ears. Deaf, pointy, blue ears. Man, you couldn’t calm down this woman’s libido with a fire hose long enough to turn the Earth into a giant rubber band ball.
“I plan to make all of each other’s wildest fantasies a reality. And I vow this to you. When we do finally seal our love, I promise to do my absolute best to make it as glorious for you as it will be for me. But I’m sure you’ll be quite satisfied” she giggled with a mix of deep love and yearning lust. Though probably a little more lust. “That is the greatest gift I have to offer to the one I love the most; eternal euphoria” she said, now with more love.
Oh goodie. Maybe she’ll get the Wicked Witch of the West and the Green M&M to wrestle each other in a pit of Ecto-Jello. If she did, I wouldn’t be turned on, but I would definitely laugh my ass off.
Jokes aside, I cursed her loving… ness, or whatever you call it. Sure, I’d grown more comfortable around her, but I was still me after all. Still an asshole. Yet it never ceased to amaze me that she could be so loving and patient, no matter how much of my hallmark cynicism I threw at her. Whenever she gave me that twinkle in those beautiful eyes, they were only ever full of adoration and devotion. How’s a guy suppose to react to that? My mind was already overflowed with serious concerns. I didn’t need a gorgeous girl like her clouding my thoughts even further. A fella could get completely lost in someone like her. I just had to fight it. Think baseball!
But wait. As she stared at me, looking ready to plant a long time coming kiss on me, I felt something clink in my echo-chamber of a heart. I didn’t know what it was, but I had the urge to say something.
“Veina, I… I think… I…” I stuttered.
“Yes?” she said anxiously.
“W-would… would you…”
“Would I what?”
“… make me a bologna sandwich?” Wait, a bologna sandwich!? That came from the bottom of my heart? I wasn’t even hungry. I might have had a feeling there before I aborted. Dumbass.
She lifted her head back up with a slightly disappointed expression.
“You’re an odd one. Sexy, but odd. Oh well. Anything for you, my love” she said as she sat me up and left for the kitchen. Right after scooping up some slices of bologna from the floor.
Did I actually feel something for her? Why else would I have felt the need to say something to her right now? Worst part of all was that I really didn’t know what I felt. Or I was in to much denial to figure it out. It was starting to piss me off. Shit. I’m not good at handling these kinds of things. Better switch to business matters.
Tomorrow, I had a portal to investigate. And possibly some Skarliks to fight. That was where my priorities were now. Getting a good night’s sleep and going out there to kick some ass. Simple.
But I sure wasn’t going to tell Veina where I was going. Because I knew that after that battle in Gamberton, she would insist on coming with me. Fuck that. Even though I knew she could fight, I didn’t care. This was my job and mine alone. No need for her to put herself in harm’s way for me. I’ll handle this myself. I didn’t need my own personal Pepe Le Pew; horny as hell and can’t take a hint. It’s more simple this way. And… easier to handle.
Denial can be ugly.
I’ll just have sneak out there without her knowing. Any bruises that I get, I’ll just have to make something up. Alright. That is the plan. But for now, I have a bologna sandwich to eat… on a full stomach.
Fucking hell, my stomach was going to be aching after this.
I next day, on my way to the portal site, I kept shaming myself internally. This whole situation was stupid and dangerous, and here I was the only person that was going to handle it. Even worse was the fact that Veina had proved to be more than capable of handling herself in a fight. And she was definitely willing to stand by my side. But in the end, that didn’t stop me from using my ever-improving poker face to lie straight to her face. Well I was two-thirds lying. I really did have business to attend to; it just wasn’t trading and it wasn’t in Dewcliff. Sure it may have been pride that kept me from letting Veina in on the action and I did feel like a heel for lying. Well this heel was probably going to get the boot as punishment. But I was as determined to keep her out of my war as much she was determined to be a part of it. Maybe it was pride, but deep down I think it was something else; something that was eating away at my insides like a shark. I chose not to try figuring out what it was. It was best not to know. As of now, at least. What I did know was that I didn’t want to complicate things in my life more than they already were.
Besides, now wasn’t the time to sort out some inner and outer demons. I was nearing the portal site. Time to get my mind off Veina and go to work.
I parked my cart in a hidden alcove just beyond the hill where the site was. It was a lightly forested area below some overlooking mountains, isolated miles away from the nearest town. No help but also no distractions.
Loading up my gear and ammo, I was as ready as I’d ever be. It was probably me being alert that made me bring along my new prototype weapons. Sure it may have been over-preparing, but when you need it and don’t have it, you sing a different tune. True words from the legend Burt Gummer.
Even so, I left the rest of my arsenal in the cart. I wanted to scope the area out before I engaged any Skarliks that may have been there. So I had to be able to activate my “run-like-hell” mode if I needed to.
Fuck I hate being right, sometimes. There were Skarliks. Lots of them. From what I could tell while peering down from the top of the hill, there were probably around twenty . They were also pretty well armed and clad in combat armor. I could still penetrate it with my weapons but this must have been a combat unit. Shit.
If I had to guess, they were still setting up a perimeter and regrouping from their little trip through the portal. I hope the wormhole hangover hit these bastards hard. If I was lucky, they were still feeling the side effects from it.
Their camp setup had the works; tents, turret guns, a few vehicles, portable and makeshift dugouts, some computer terminals, and an uneasy atmosphere. They probably also had a tank somewhere. This wasn’t going to be easy.
I moved closer down the hill to get a better scan through my visors. I suspected an energy source in a nearby tent, so I had to check it out. I peeked through the back and, sure enough, a big shiny, and probably new, power generator running smooth as silk. Oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to walk out of here with that. I don’t know how the fuck I would haul away the goddamn thing but details, details.
For now, I had to exterminate this little infestation. As I began formulating a plan, I heard a distant shout around back of me. Motherfucker. A guard up on the hill was pointing at me and signaling to the others of an intruder. A bear had wandered into camp? Yeah, right. Yours truly was the only son of a bitch out of place here.
Change of plans, if there even a plan to change. Time for some stand up improv. I wasn’t going to give them a chance to group into a flanking position. So I ran like a bat out of hell. As the disturbed camp prepared to swarm, I raced up to the closest turret gun. Shooting the guard dead before he could reach his weapon, I assumed his duty as Terry the turret guard. And guess what my first task was going to be?