Hope you enjoy chapter 2. Feel free to comment on what you think.
Well, it’s been almost four weeks since my arrival and almost being hired as a mailman for Pimps R’ Us. But I was able to get away without any trace except some eye witnesses who’ll probably be discredited due to that little accident that “clouded” there minds, also their panties if we were to be perfectly honest. But I managed get back to my entry point, scavenge what I could, and cart away anything useful. Included was some bits of navigation equipment, tools, and other components. Not exactly an ideal start to my headquarters but it could be useful down the line.
Fortunately, I found a crate with some new LAD-42 laser handguns with functioning power levels. Basically, these babies gave me the choice of low powered shots with all the blunt force of a Mike Tyson jab, and the the high penetration power of an armor piecing magnum shot. They’ll be great whenever I run out of bubble gum to chew. Also I found a good addition to my armor as well, an instantly collapsible helmet/face mask with a functioning visor scanning system. More good news is that I had a solar power charger with a full adapter kit for my gear. So a consistent supply of power was available to me. Though I was limited to how much gear I could charge at once. Best to keep my ammo clips for the LAD’s charged before anything else.
I carted my equipment to a remote area just outside a town called Vallick. In between a couple of boulders was a naturally well-hidden chamber that was more roomy than I expected. So all I had to do was re-paper the walls and build some furniture to turn the dirt resort into my own little workshop. Not exactly a well funded NASA R&D factory but it worked as a place I could store any equipment I found as well as a place to build more gear without being disturbed.
I stayed in a hotel room I acquired in the nearby Vallick. Sure it wasn’t a quiet town, especially at night, but I didn’t feel like sleeping on a pile of dirt in my workshop. I still wanted the luxury of a real bed. That said, I managed to blend into my surroundings pretty well, all things considered. Sure my bad habit of speaking my mind in modern day Earth confuses the hell out of other humans here but in a world of magic and half human sex fanatics, I figured I wouldn’t stand out anymore than some drunk or two-bit wack job. So I let my acid tongue sizzle away whenever I wanted to be left alone or whatever.
Vallick is a Demon Lord controlled town, full of both mamano and humans. That meant that I couldn’t even go dip my head in the horse’s drinking fountain without some kind of mamano staring at my ass. In the past weeks, I did some digging around to find out what governs the land.
Long story short, there are two factions. First there’s the Demon Lord and her monster girls, or “mamano” for you politically correct folks. Second there’s the Order. Yeah, that doesn’t sound Nazi at all, does it? The Order wants to kill all mamano and the Demon Lord wants to change everyone into mamanos. Just the right recipe for conflict. And neither one is exactly subtle about it either. The Order acts like a military regime and the Demon Lord sends out more mamano to bonk guys than a queen bee sends out worker bees to bonk flowers. Why they are against each other? Well do cats and dogs fight? They just don’t get along in the grand scheme.
Maybe the heads at the top were lovers once and this whole war is the result of a messy divorce. But whatever the case, now there’s a bunch of half human nymphomaniacs running around, who looked female in all the right ways, they’re horny enough to make construction workers look like nuns in a sausage factory. And these living wet dreams came in all shapes and sizes to keep any fetish covered. Whether it’s furry hands, scaly feet, wings, claws, no legs, or tails, you name they got it. I’ve seen first hand how strong they are. Even though they didn’t look any stronger than your average slim girl, they still had all the strength of an American Gladiator, and then some. Even some little Harpy with the body of an eight year old was capable of going head to head with a trained Order soldier. Or in this case a hip to head.
But in order to help me better understand the “wild life” I bought a copy of a manuscript from some scholar. He was wandering from town to town and seemed to know about what kind of chicks roamed the lands so now I got something to read on the toilet. No, not in that way.
In terms of my standing in this world, I’ve managed to live as a trader. Having exclusive access to a stash of one of a kind items, namely any gear I can part with, I’ve been able to pocket coins pretty easily. But it’s not the money that gets me lusty grins on a regular basis. Hell, I think every guy gets that in this world. Just walking into a general store and I’m being mentally undressed faster than you can say “strip-o-gram cop”. And strangely enough, my Earthly slang didn’t turn mamano off like it did humans. If anything it turned them on… I mean more than they usually were. Maybe they saw my degenerate dialect as playing “hard to get”. I’m no Bill Shakespeare but I guess my gibberish is open to interpretation.
But all things considered, it’s not the worst situation ever. And I know plenty of guys who would kill to be in this real life hentai, but not me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s flattering to have a bunch of Fetish-squire cover girls flirting with you for doing basically nothing, even more fun when they rub against you like a pussy cat that needs some catnip, pardon the pun. And to be honest, I’m not sure why I didn’t just take up some of the girls on their offers. Obviously it would have been fucking fireworks with them but after a while, you get used to it. Sure sexy-as-fuck is sexy-as-fuck but it gets old sooner than you think. You could call me a hard ass and many other things for that matter, but a skirt-chaser wasn’t one of them. I’d seen enough hot chicks in my days to be able to ignore them. And with my inexplicable immunity to magic, it was all the easier to not end up having Succubus walk me back to her hotel room on a leash for a kinky night of begging for treats. Woof, woof.
Besides, I got bigger problems than a Holstaur’s breasts during pregnancy. Mainly, I don’t want to be here. I want to go back to my real home. I’m not sure how, but there has to be some way to get out of here. But fuck if I knew how. So it’s best keep my eye on the road and avoid unnecessary bullshit. Although some girls just didn’t understand the concept of a strike out, so I would just have to teach them. Even though they were physically stronger than me, a few low-powered shots from my LAD handguns evened the odds and only left them with a few bruises in the morning. I didn’t want to kill them, just beat them off with a stick, so to speak.
Today I found myself in Dewcliff another town controlled by the Demon Lord. Running a little low on cash, so I figured a laser pointer, an ion light up orb, and a radar tracking module would get me enough cash to hold me over for a while.
I entered town and hitched up my horse. Before I entered the exchange shop, I was distracted by quite a sight. Namely a girl with a short black hair and bare legs. Her upper half was covered with a smooth, green exoskeleton, matching green blades running along her forearms, and two twitching antennas sprouting from her head. It was a Mantis, and she appeared to have just used the porta potty. Only her blades appeared to have gotten stuck in the shit stall as she tried to leave. And she wasn’t doing too good of a job of figuring out how to relieve herself a second time. Yeah a Mantis was lethal with those weed whackers, but by God were they dim. Screw it, I always wanted a merit badge as a kid.
I walked over to the Mantis still hopelessly tugging against the wooden stall. With her pretty but emotionless face, I wasn’t so sure she even knew I had approached. She just kept on tugging her blades in the same direction as how she got them stuck. All in vain, obviously. I grabbed a blade I gave it a gentle but firm shove in the opposite direction and sure enough it came out. Rinse and repeat for the second blade. Her expression hadn’t changed as I had tugged on her weapons, although I thought I saw a slight blush form on her face. Now free from the piss prison, she scurried away like nothing had happened. Well at least she didn’t destroy the entire outhouse and make the shit hit the fan. Speaking of which, I really should have held my breath.
After my little Scout’s deed for the day, I entered the Exchange. It was crowded with other people shopping for goodies and haggling with vendors. I usually didn’t care about any of these other schmucks and focused on one particular tradesman named Jacob who dealt with relics and other do-hickies. He was the safest person to trade my one of a kind gear with since he didn’t ask too many questions.
As I swam through the sea of people, I spotted Jacob and his stall. Unfortunately he must have grown found of me and my “other-worldly” gear, -ahem-.
“Well, my friend, what kinds of special goodies did you find for me today?” he said loud enough for every pick-pocket in the whole damn shop to know that I was packing more than just some coins.
“Thanks, Jacob. But next time you best curb your enthusiasm because there’s a cute little Danuki down the street who would just love to break up our exclusive arrangement, savvy?” Nothing like a little competition to make a salesman into your bitch.
After our little ritual of haggling, I walked away with a bag of about 50 silver coins. I would have gotten more if I sold the radar device. But it strangely started beeping and signaling coordinates about two miles north of Vallick just before I made the sale. I figured I’d keep it and go check out the location later. Morbid curiosity, besides the shop clerk wasn’t going any where. Especially now that he settled down with a Jurougumo wife. I also noticed that she had just recently ballooned in the abdomen when she briefly stepped out from the back and whispered something into Jacob’s ear, followed by a little nibble to his lobe. Yeah I did notice that he had some new markings on his neck that looked like more than just hickies. But hey, whatever tickles your pickle, I suppose. I tipped him 10 silver coins before I left. He would need them.
As I planned the rest of my day, I was stopped by a sharp voice behind me.
“Interesting trade you made up there. What do you plan to do with all that silver?”
Shit, I must have caught someone’s attention after they heard Jacob introducing me. I turned to see woman who was a little shorter than me, but was definitely human. She wore glasses and had a skinny frame. Her face had slightly wrinkly features covering it. I figured she didn’t own a brush because her dark brown hair looked rather dirty and full of curls. She wore a dull grey tunic with slightly torn, brown pants and mud-stained shoes. Victoria should let her in on a few secrets.
“Maybe I’ll go bribe Universal Studios into kicking everyone out of the park but me. I always wanted to have the run of the place. Or just have them bring back the Jaws ride”. Nice work. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone else right now.
But fickle fate strikes again as suddenly the girl whipped right in front of me stopping me before I made it to the door. My tactic of confusing people into oblivion had failed. She then proceeded to sniffing the air in front of my face.
“You don’t smell like a drunk. You don’t have that backdoor, mud bath odor. Just a wandering stranger kind of smell. And a hint of beans.” Pushy, yet rude.
“What can I say? I don’t wear deodorant… anymore.”
“Hmmm, fascinating. So where are you from, exactly? A refugee from the stars? An escapee from a gladiator pit? A traveler from beyond the grave?”
For a screw ball, she wasn’t too far off.
“Yes to all three. Now can I pass?” I said, still hoping to escape by being blunt this time.
“Great Homeland’s Fire! A multi-world individual! Can I pick your brain for a while!?” she exclaimed.
I don’t think it was a request. And I think this girl would actually slice my head open for a peak. This girl had a problem.
“I think it’s your brain that needs picking, Harley. Shouldn’t you piss off for some shock therapy at the wacky shack?” I said dryly.
“Well I was going to go watch Cupid archers compete for husbands but you’re far more interesting to spend my afternoon with”.
Fuck me with a cattle prod. She wasn’t going to let me go through that door alone was she. Now I had a problem.
She followed me over to the food stands, chatting the whole way. She even bought the same bowl of chicken soup and beer that I did. As we sat down and had our lunch, I found that food proved ineffective in shutting her up.
“I don’t remember you saying where you came from.” she said after a swig of her swamp water. She hadn’t even touched her soup.
“It’s because I didn’t say it. Could you shut up until your soup is gone?” I said bluntly. I was hoping that would give me enough time to come up with a reason to leave. Maybe an aunt needed help chopping chicken heads or something. But as soon as I went back to my soup, she quickly picked up her bowl and downed the whole thing in one go. She then ate all the pieces of chicken with her spoon. She then dropped her utensil into her bowl with a clank and stared at me with inquisitive yet determined eyes. Maybe I’m not the only “alien” around here.
“I bet you eat your Snickers bars with a knife and fork, right?” I said before I took another spoonful.
“No, I spend most of my days reading in the library. I don’t have time to do anything exciting.” Yeah right. I’m not buying that for a second. “I plan on being a scholar one day.”
“You should be a game show host… for gradeschoolers.”
She chuckled. “You do say the most fascinating things. Are you sure you’re not from beyond the grave?”, she said with such so much hope that a Necromancer would be proud.
“Fascinating is a subjective word. I’m usually looked at as disturbed” I said genuinely surprised that she wasn’t turned off by the things I was saying. Most other humans thought I was nuts.
“And that bothers you?
“Not really. To make it through life, we all have to be a little crazy. Some just embrace it more than others, like Conan O’ Brien. Others just give up and binge craziness like a Netflix original.”
“Is that why you wear those strange devices on your hips?”
“Oh these? Well trouble in a crazy world is like a health hazard in Disney World, they just go together. So these babies act as my get out of jail free card.
“Oooohhhh are they magic? Maybe some fairy dust or a witch’s formula?” she asked as she started prodding at one of my guns. Forget game show host. She should be a talk show host. Now time for the Degenerate Bookworm Show. Don’t forget your tasers.
“They’ve done wonders for me, so yeah you could call them my own personal Tinker Bells.” I said as I quickly but sternly smacked her hand away.
“If I was to call you a member of the Order, you wouldn’t have to kill me, right? she asked with actual seriousness for the first time since she opened her mouth.
“The Order? Hell no. I’m not part of their round table, and I never will be.” I said with some seriousness to match her own.
“You seem capable enough. They would take you in a heartbeat.”
“I’d say they would probably take anyone as long as they wear Chuck Norris underwear. That kind of meathead attitude is not something that sits well with me. I’ve seen it before, conquest because why not? I may be a major ass, but at least I’m not closed-minded.”
“Do I detect a Demon Lord sympathizer?”
“Uh-oh! What if you do? Do you have a bazooka hidden under that tunic of yours? Are you gonna paint me a target for your satellite sniping squad?” I hissed. Although with her, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be true. “Well tell your hit-squad to go on lunch break because no, I’m not on the Demon Lord’s side either.”
She said nothing but didn’t break her intrigued expression. Good. Now that I had her attention time to go right between the eyes.
“The way I see it, she’s just as much a greedy crusader as the Order. I’ve heard of her more ‘radical’ groups who go around eliminating humanity.”
“They turn them into succubi and incubi… or so I’ve heard.”
“Same difference. They wouldn’t be human anymore. I’d call that eliminating the human race. Killing just by another name.”
“Do… do you wish all mamano did not exist?” she said with a strangely sad look on her face.
“That’s not it. They got a right to exist as much as humans like us. So there must be room for both species. And if they wanna go through life without wearing panties, then go ahead. They just need to be careful because too much ambition could shift the goal line too far. They may see it as a utopia, but if it comes at the cost of my literal humanity, then playing ‘hide the salami’ with a sexy bombshell isn’t worth it.”
“Interesting.” she said with a little more enthusiasm. “Most men I talk to who have laid with a mamano say it was exhilarating. In fact, they say their life improved after meeting their mamano wife.”
“What’s your point, exactly?”
“Well they seem happier under the Demon Lord’s rule than they did under the Order’s rule. Just a noteworthy point.”
“Noteworthy, huh? Well here’s something else noteworthy. What about this so called demonic energy the Demon Lord gave them all? Call me a pessimist, but I don’t think that little perk is only restricted to the bedroom. I’m sure you’ve heard stories of guys being pinned down by ‘monstrous’ woman only to be drained dry and wake up they next morning with a smile on their face. Sounds like stock-home syndrome to me. If demonic energy didn’t fog their mind, then mamano wouldn’t need it. A slave with benefits is still a slave. Fortunately, I’m covered.”
“Really?” she perked up again. “How?”
“I’m wearing my lucky boots. So the choice is out of a mamano’s hands.” I said with a shit-eating grin.
“Ha! You’re my kind of crazy!” she laughed. Well I suppose crazy is multidimensional.
We continued talking long to lose all track of time. I got to admit, she was ironically fun to listen to. Almost like watching a bad sci fi movie, completely nonsensical and absent-minded. Surprisingly, she kept most of the 3rd degree out of the conversation from that point on. But she babbled on while I humored her in my usual smart ass way. Up until she inexplicably and frantically left. Said she had to be at a meeting with her “associates”. Probably a book club with only three people; she, herself, and her. Strange girl indeed, but not boring to talk to. I told her I had to go chop off some chicken heads.
Before I headed out, to the mysterious radar point, I decided to stop back at my room in Vallick to lighten my load. As I entered the lobby, I was greeted by the “manager” of the hotel, Tifa. Only this time she was actively blocking my passage up the stairs. Fucking hell, time to verbally spar with her again.
“So we meat again, handsome” she said as I’ve come to expect from her. Tifa is was a Vampire. I didn’t even need my manuscript to figure that one out. She always looked dressed to go to a rave party for the Phantom of the Opera. A white blouse, a tight, dark red corset that flowed into a short, orange patterned dress donned with a bright red frill and golden chains to add some class. Her stockings and cape, yeah she had a cape, were the same dark red color and patterned like her dress. What? You were expecting the Vampyra look?
Tifa had been eyeing me for a while now. Sure most girls had openly offered to have sex with me but Tifa had the extra motivation of having her bedroom so close to mine. She could probably smell me through the wooden walls as she stirred her love pot.
“What now Tifa? The blood bank won’t give you another loan” I sighed. En garde.
“Oh hush, hush, Jason. Save those sexy words for the right time. Which could be right now if you want” she cooed as she pointed her head toward her room.
“How many times do I need to tell you ‘no’?” I hissed.
“A little fun can’t hurt. Can it?” she said as she pushed her sizable breasts toward me. Dirty pillow talk, right?
“Listen Elvira. I’m not interested in a few fleeting moments of joy, okay? I just want to be left in peace.” I said as I scooted past her up the stairs.
“Okay then. What if I told you your joy could be longer than just a few moments?”
“Go find a plasma cocktail. You sound like you’re running low on fluids.”
“No. What I mean is that I’m having sort of a party here tonight. It’s my five year anniversary since I opened the hotel. They’ll be food, drinks, dancing, and other girls too. I’d love for you to come.” Yeah I bet she’d love me to “come”, if you know what I mean.
“Wonderful. If want to be groped and wrestled to the ground for a gang bang, I’ll be sure to be there. Don’t start bobbing for dicks without me” I said as I turned the corner at the top of the stairs.
“I hope to see you there!” she yelled after me.
“I bet you do!” I called back.
For now, I had other matters to attend. I would just have to sneak into my room tonight by climbing through my window and lay low until the heat cooled off. I thought her party would probably end up like the party in the opening scene from “Blade”. Only no Wesley Snipes to save my ass.
I followed my radar tracker due north of Vallick. I wasn’t really sure what I expected to find. Maybe some Witches reenacting Macbeth with a little Rule 34 added to their stew. Cool, I’ve always wanted to play Macbeth since I was a kid. But I wouldn’t have thought that my Macbeth would have to put a couple shots into the Witches instead of standing in a pool of my own piss.
Although I would’ve taken the latter scenario instead of what I actually found. I came upon a grassy hill and peered down. I found another stockpile of metallic crates, equipment, and other shit from my world scattered on and around the hill. Large LCD computer monitors were also laying at the bottom of the hill, smashed to bits or beat to hell. There was a little light blue fog swirling in a haze overhead.
Shitballs, you gotta be fucking kidding me. I knew what that meant. Another portal just opened and closed, recently too. Yeah just like the one that crapped me out. A million thoughts ran through my head, not many of them good.
I quickly hurried down to the site, ready to think the worst. True, there was more gear for me to collect, which was a plus. But that wasn’t what worried me. I began to search around, looking to see if a particular something came through the portal too. I rounded the corner of a shattered computer monitor, I’ll have to check that out later to see what I could salvage from it.
Moving toward the back of the monitor, I found just the thing I was looking for, which wasn’t good. Sitting down and leaning against another grey, metal crate was a man. Well “man” wasn’t really the term I should use. It looked kinda human but definitely wasn’t. Think of Spock and one of the Engineers from Prometheus had a summer romance together. Unfortunately, I had seen his kind before. Back on Earth, we called them Skarliks. I usually just called them bastards, sons a bitches, or motherfuckers. If you can’t tell, I have a history with this kind of scum. And it didn’t involve borrowing money.
Fortunately this one seemed injured. Green blood poured from his ribs as he clenched his wound weakly. I’m not sure he even noticed me since he looked almost passed out. All the better. I pulled my guns out and iron-sighted him. “You’re not gonna fuck with anything else, asshole” I said to him, not caring if he even heard me.
Just before I pulled the triggers, I felt something big and hard crash into me with all the force of a train. The impact took both of us down the slope nearby. Needless to say, my guns didn’t bother joining me for the short trip down South and stayed at the top of the hill. After I stopped, I quickly regained my footing and poised myself against my unknown offensive lineman. Sure enough, it was another Skarlik. Only this one wasn’t injured. In fact he looked pretty damn good; slightly bigger than me, strong, and not very happy.
Oh well, I’ve been in worse situations. And those didn’t turn out too good either.