A big shout out to BONODONO and his story “A Connecticut Yankee” that inspired my story. Apologies if a few aspects from his story have been used in this story but it was done out of appreciation. Since this is my first time writing a story, I only hope that will be entertained by it. Enjoy.
My story is… complicated… but let’s just say it’s simple so we can get started.
As most stories begin, I was coughed up by a wormhole into a whole new world or dimension depending on your preference. How did that happen? Hey, one long story at a time, folks. So anyway, a wormhole drops me off on top of a steep hill and let’s gravity take over. A few scratches and grass stains later, I finally stop once I hit rockbottom… literally.
Besides the crash, I’m also delirious. Think it’s fun going through a wormhole? Guess what it’s not. One minute you’re flying through an ever changing vortex in one of those uncontrollable spins that a piss poor skydiver gets into, then the next minute you’re seeing the ground approaching frightfully quick. Even after you realize that you’ve stopped spinning but the world has not, the wormhole’s after effects take hold. Think of it as the consequences of a long New Years Eve party of mixing various classy drinks with cheapest beer from a local liquor store all compiled into the longest few hours you could ever experience. Like two hours with King Kong sitting on your head.
Unfortunately, that’s all it takes for you to get ambushed, stripped of your armor and gear, thrown into a wagon with some other schmucks, and carted away like some unruly drunk before you’re even able to defend yourself.
Luckily, the after-effects don’t last long, since I mostly sobered up during my little trip. Upon reaching our destination, I was taken from the wagon to what looked like a small collection of huts and one stone mini fortress. There were also some tables, benches, and canvas stands scattered about. This place must be a headquarters that was quickly thrown together from some abandoned ruins.
After taking in my surroundings, I noticed my captors. This is where it gets interesting. They were all gathered around us and whispering things to each other. They all appeared to be female. Very, very female. They were all absolutely beautiful. Like the most super of Hollywood models beautiful.
If that wasn’t enough, they were all scantily clad in bikini tops, tube tops, and other bits of garments that could only be intended to show off some T n’ A. Pretty skanky, but they had the “assets” to back it up. Round breasts, fit abs, round ass, and toned thighs.
But that wasn’t even the weirdest part. If you got past the tits and ass, difficult I know, you would see that that was only half the picture. My captors appeared to be showing off more than just human parts. Some had green or dark orange scales covering their arms and legs complete with claws. They also had a tail. If that wasn’t enough, their tail appeared to be on fire as it swayed back and forth. Gives a new spin to the term “hot ass”.
One woman though stood out. An imposing woman at that. But she somehow looked even more outlandish. She had fur covering most of her lower body, along with the arms, legs and tail of a lion. But the part that stood out the most was her large, feathery wings that expanded a good eight feet long. This “cat” had even bigger breasts than the “lizards” but with a more elegantly taught stomach than the others. With such a display, I probably would have said something, but I guess I hadn’t completely sobered up yet. Being myself, I wasn’t really aroused, more confused.
The cat chick was obviously in charge because she order two lizards to escort us into the fortress ruins. After entering, we were brought to some kind of a bathing area where we were told to undress. After showing our “true colors” we were each approached by some other women who I hoped were wash maidens. Wash maiden, however was the last way I would have described them.
At first they looked dressed up as maids. But upon closer examination, Both their body and clothes appeared to be made of some kind of black and purple slime that seems to move on its own.
She looked right at me with her bright yellow eyes and wry grin. “Just stand still… and enjoy.” she said. Before I could imagine what horrible things might happen to me she suddenly latched herself onto me, fully engulfing me in her gooey mass. Let’s just say that I could feel her move all over my body… especially in my not so private area. It was surprising but not actually uncomfortable. Within two minutes she reformed in front of me, somehow with a blush on her face. “It’s been a pleasure to clean you, sir.” she said with a bow. Clean, really? You get dirty in order to get clean? How the hell does that work?
Next I was dressed and lead to a room further down the hall. Inside was the cat lady and one of her lizard beach babes. As I entered, the feline whispered something into the gecko’s ear. Oh secrets, huh?
I was instructed to stand up straight and do as they instructed. At first it was just the basics; open your mouth, breath in, breath out, just like a regular physical. That was until the lizard suddenly grabbed my crotch. I don’t know what snapped in me, but I felt I was finally able to speak my mind. And boy, did I have a lot to say.
“Whoa. Hands off their rocket butt!” I said much louder than I expected. But it was too late to stop now. “You already have one account of sexual harassment against your establishment, you want to go for double jeopardy? To save you the trouble, I’ll just give you my physical and mental status, okay? Earlier, I rolled down a hill, and slammed into a rock. Then you Esquire veterans kidnap me, take my gear, throw me in a wagon and drag me into a ghost town where I’m slimed worse than a Nickelodeon hotel resort. Now on top of everything, I’m brought in here where you want to give me a ‘hands on’ inspection of my little Johnny. That clear things up enough for you? Sorry but I’m not interested in being on the cover of Spicey magazine with you. I’ve got my own problems, okay? Now just give me my lolly pop and let me get the hell out of here. And by the way, you forgot to wear gloves”.
After my Gilbert Gottfried rant and was convinced that I definitely made a fool of myself I stopped, panting quite heavily. Fully expecting a beating, as to be expected for a new recruit to the slave profession instead they both glanced at each other, then at me for what felt like an eternity. They both had the look of a kid in a candy store. I saw blushes form on both their faces. I think I even saw some drool almost fall out of the lizard’s mouth.
Finally the tension was broke when the feline whispered something to the lizard. The lizard girl then approached me with the look that I can only describe as absent-minded. She began to pull me away by the arm. She was surprisingly strong. Not that she wasn’t in great shape to say the least but I never considered myself small or weak for that matter. In fact with my training I was in pretty damn good shape too. Yet I felt like a 2 year old being pulled away by his mommy.
Before we left the room, the cat woman yelled out “Make sure to not spoil the goods. He’s for the Demon Lord to decide.” With a moment of hesitation, my lizard momm-, eh, escort yelled back “Dammit I’ll try.” I wondered just what the hell does that meant? Being a slave in the big cheese’s castle? Living the life of high luxury, at least by slave standards?
Obviously curious, I had to get something out of my sexy escort:
“What’s cookin, Doc?” She gave me that candy store look again.
“What?” she said.
“Who’s this Demon Lord? And why do I qualify to keep her castle tidy? I mean I can barely keep the underwear off the floor of my room as an adult.”
“It’s a special position. A negotiator of sorts. Only a select few get a chance like this. You are to serve our Lord in maintaining peace with some of her more “rocky” alliances.
Great. I haven’t even been in this world one day and already I’m given the task of helping keep it in one piece. Or so I thought.
“What do you mean ‘negotiator’? Like a White House lacky? Sorry but I’m not a good ambassador. Come to think of it, the site of a contract makes me want to hurl.”
“No, silly human. You see, we mamano have… needs. Without these needs satisfied, they can become, well, difficult and at times rebellious. Sure our Lord has the power to punish those who she sees fit, but there are more peaceful methods to get what she wants. You are to act as a way of insuring that all of the Demon Lord’s forces stay in good standing with her without having to resort to more unpleasant means.”
“And what skills do you need for the job? In fact what do I do on this job?”
“You do them.” she said as a matter of fact.
“…Pardon?” I said checking to see if my imagination switch was left on in my brain.
“You make them happy the best way possible; you lay with them.”
If it’s possible for my brain to skip several beats, then mine must have skipped around ten beats. I went full Megan Fox, just staring blankly with a mouth that refused to close.
“You may even give them a child. It truly is an honor to be considered for this role. To be able to freely lay with several high ranking mamano, spreading your seeds across the lands”.
With that, I snapped out of it. I knew I was in a new dimension, but I half expected to be maimed, incinerated, curb-stomped or eaten when I entered this new dimension. This was a whole new kind of crazy. I never considered myself a stud by any stretch of the imagination. Strong body, sure but not a stud. So why me? How did I land this spot? And why is that a basis of maintaining power? I mean this “Demon Lord” must be some kind of a wack-job, like a Cosmo Kramer on Speed at Disney World kind of wack-job.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… wait. I’m going to be working a schedule of one-night-stands with several girls that I’ve never even met before just as a method of positive reinforcement? This ‘Demon Lord’ wants to prostitute me out to her high class friends just so she doesn’t have get off her ass and do an employee review? Has she ever heard of giving them a raise? Or even just a simple ‘Keep up the good work’ card? Has she ever heard of an STD? I… what… It just… why…” Shit I lost my train of thought.
Before long, I ended up looking back at her. Clearly her candy store look disappeared. Now there was a new one, but before I could assess what it was, she put her face too close to mine for me to put a label on it.
“I don’t care if you’ve been chosen as a Demon Lord’s negotiator, I just want a sample.” she said almost kissing me. I would have been more aroused if I wasn’t so worked up.
Clearly this was a job that throws you into the deep end and expects you to swim. Well getting my feet wet was the last thing on my mind. So I said the first thing random thing that came to mind in hopes of discouraging her from pursuing this course of action.
“But I’ve never laid with a woman before. I’m… too nervous.” I was said with a squeaky voice to help reduce my apparent sex appeal.
She let out a short gasp. “A virgin!?” she exclaimed. “Even better! That will surely solidify your spot as her new negotiator!”
I think I need to be cleaned up again. Cause that sure as hell blew up in my face.
“Don’t worry. You’re a natural. You’ll do…just…great.” she said as she closed her eyes and while cupping my cheeks in her scaly claws while leaning even closer as if trying to kiss me.
Not sure why I began backing up. Maybe it was just a little too much to take in. Even so, she just followed me as I backed up. I knew I’d eventually run out of backtrack space and I’d have no where to go. However I hadn’t considered something, namely the open window. Just before her lips shut up my confused rambling, the back of my legs stopped against the windowsill but my upper half didn’t.
One back flip later I had a bit of deja vu as I rolled down a canvas awing and landed on a table where two other fiery lizard chicks were snacking. Call it instincts or just plain panicking, I don’t care, but I quickly got up and ran for a nearby structure no bigger than a small house.
As I ran, I passed up a cart that I remembered was following the wagon I was transported in. I saw a little light blue color in the midst of some old dusty short-swords and bags. Now everything in this primitive little headquarters was mostly browns and grays. That blue could only belong to one thing, my armor. It had to be my armor, which most likely meant that my other gear had to be close by as well.
Before I made my escape I had to get my armor back. In retrospect, I probably should have grabbed the armor when I ran for a horse and bailed before those lizards had a chance to punch in from lunch break. But cut me some slack, I was winging it, which usually ended up as my plan B.
Instantly I slammed the door behind me. Dammit no lock. Okay, primitive world means primitive plans. In this case, sliding a nearby wooden table up against the door was the next best thing. Although the table was heavier than it looked, I managed move the damn thing.
Next I picked a long, thing-a-ma-jig that looked like the Riddler’s cane after Maleficent just unloaded her whole happy hour onto it. But hey I needed some kind of weapon so I figured a fancy stick will do. I could hear more of them gathering outside, yelling things to each other that I couldn’t make out, nor did I care. I turned around to see what my next move was. I appeared to be in some kind of laboratory, if I had to guess; potions, viles, and flasks covering about four different tables without any space to spare. Behind the table directly in front of me stood another woman, another buxom woman to be exact.
Given the state of mind I was in, I fully expected her to have the lower body of a starfish and ears like Dumbo. But she actually appeared to be normal. Well normal in comparison to what I’ve seen as of late. Purple and black was clearly her favorite color combination because it was everywhere on her. Her long dress with frills on her sleeves and open on the sides to reveal her slender, stocking-covered legs along with an open chest to show off the goods. She topped it off with a large, classic witch hat that was black and purple, of course. Her silky, purple hair so big it could have blocked the view of a stove while she worked in front of it. Did I say she looked normal?
I looked into her purple eyes staring back at me and thought maybe I could talk my way out of this without having to tumble down something else.
“I take it this isn’t the stable is it?” I said.
“L-Laboratory. Who are you?” She stuttered.
“Apparently I’m the Demon Lord’s new negotiator or something.”
“A negotiator!?” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, from what I gather, a package in a package if you get my drift, just without any health benefits. Please tell me you have a back door to this place.”
“Wow! A real negotiator! In my laboratory! This is a real treat!” As she continued to verbally throwing herself at my feet, I wondered just how exciting is this glorified pimp position. Why is that something to be so giddy over? It’s kind of nasty just to think about it. Not even I sound that crazy when I ramble. Do I?
“-Gasp-. You’re even touching my staff!”
“I am? Oh this.”
“Of course. Maybe with your essence now, my seduction spells will be stronger than ever.”
“Sure, you’ll need something to beat the guys away. And this is the stick to do it with. Any chance this thing has fireballs or an invincibility star or something?”
“If it’s not too much to ask, could you please add a small amount of spirit energy to my staff? Oh please!”
It wasn’t until later that I would find out what that really meant. But I’d figured I’d let her ramble enough.
“Yeah, yeah, autographs next week. Now how do I get out-“
Just then, my make-shift barricade lived up to it’s name as it was punched through with deafening force. Both me and Gruntilda both looked back toward the wave of destruction.
In walked the cat babe from earlier along with four fiery lizards girls and two green lizard girls following suit. Geez, this cat has more than just claws, she’s never missed a morning without having her steroid Mini Wheats. Now with more penis shrinkage.
Among them was my hands-on escort from earlier, who looked the most flushed in the face and I think I may know why.
“There was no hope of escape for you human.” spoke the kitty bird. “Why do you wish to run from the opportunity of a lifetime? We don’t wish to hurt you. Or violate you.” she said as she glared back at a certain immature lizard. She started blushing more red than her scales. “However if you don’t comply we will have no choice but to force you. And if you do get too damaged, then you may not be accepted as her negotiator. If that be the case you may end up living the rest of your days with a Wurm.”
Fortunate for me I could talk and think on my feet at the same time. “You can glamorize it as much as you want Miss Fancy Feast, but a slave is still a slave. Even if you do use one head more than the other. I make my own decisions, like this!
With that, I flipped the table in front of me at them Spaghetti Western style. After inciting the bar room brawl, so to speak, I prepared for a fight, kinky as it may have been.
However I don’t remember the sizzling and large puff of orange smoke whenever John Wayne instigated a scuffle. It started spreading around the room and soon enough, it was so thick I couldn’t see my attackers anymore. “Look out that table had the vile of orgas-“. That was all the purple witch behind me got out before she was cut off by something. But hell if I knew, what with the colored stink bomb turning the room into a Halloween display. I couldn’t see them? I knew what that meant. And no it wasn’t time to cop a feel.
I figured I could slip past them and gain at least a little head start without having to bash some heads on my way out. As I moved toward the door the screams began. Oh not Joe Pesci getting a blowtorch to the head kinda screams, more like Sally meeting Harry kinda screams. Before I had a chance to question it, the Kitty Voorhees stumbled right in at my feet.
Guess I heard correctly since she began rolling on the ground with one paw groping her breast and the other fondling between her legs. Oh man, don’t forget you have claws. I saw two of the hot lizards obviously feeling even hotter than before as they were following their leader’s example. I’m no “wild” party guy myself, but even a prude could tell that they were experiencing that very special kind of feeling. Guess they were having what Sally had.
Despite their ministrations, it seemed to make them orgasm instantly and constantly. I figured it must have been this orange crap that I strategically albeit inadvertently used as my ace in the hole. The thought of this kind of drug making it to Earth made me cringe. I mean, we already have the internet. And that was bad enough.
Under normal circumstances, pardon the pun, I might have rolled out the popcorn. Then I noticed that I was still pretty dry in the pants. Hell, I didn’t even feel the urge to drop my pants and rub a couple ones out myself, and given my situation it wouldn’t have been hard to do. It wasn’t having any kind of effect on me. But ultimately, I didn’t care. This gave me a chance to escape. Thus I wasn’t going to look this gift horse in the puss.
I carefully stepped over the soon to be messy scene and charged out the door. Fortunately, I didn’t see any other potential threats outside. So I quickly ran over to the cart where my armor was. My hunch was right, there was my armor, with a glow that indicated that it was happy to see daddy again. It was stuffed into a large bag so it was easy to throw it over my shoulder and move. But I had another plan. I unlatched the horses from the paddy wagon that brought me here and gave them a smack on the ass Just making sure that Lady Luck didn’t throw a chase into my not too distant future. Extra credit for me.
After jumping onto the wagon of confiscated goods, as I suspected they were, I decided to make my way back to the point where the portal dropped me off. I may have been groggy, but I was sure that I wasn’t the only thing that portal spat out. There were definitely some crates, bags and all kinds of loot laying there. I could only hope that if someone else happen to stumble by, they left my loot alone. Now that I had a wagon, I was going to use it to take everything with me as a little raincoat for when the shit hit the fan. Whatever else this dimension had in store for me, I would need all I could get my hands on to be prepared.
Even though my loot was just as I left it, little did I know what kind of shit that Lady Luck had in store for me. Bitch.