Wizardquest Chapter 10: The Dark Carnival

It doesn’t take long to collect your things and your Bubs, and head out on deck when the boat pulls into the small river docks inside the town of Derrick. The entire place was… Small. Sort of Varruck sized, but with houses made totally of wood with very few structures made of stone, which were mostly near the docks. It was fairly busy as the afternoon sun started to wear down and sailors began to unload from their ships for nighttime merriment, mingling with the people who all seemed to stream by you without happy and excited looks on their faces.

You unload from the vessel and say your goodbyes to Baha, who doesn’t feel like leaving his boat, and you head out into the town, which is actually fairly empty. You wonder where all the people went, especially as the sun is now almost under the horizon, and you shrug, looking at the others as you go to find an inn.

“Ahh, travelers! Here for the fair?”

You look over and see a man walking down the street, carrying two children on his shoulder. You look between him and Blake and shrug, forcing Blake to ask, “What fair, good sir?”

He smiles and readjusts one child. “Why, the Carnival din Luna, just arrived in town today and everyone’s fairly exicited. No one really expected one to come here of all places, but we aren’t going to miss out, are we kids?”

“No way!” They scream and he ruffles their hair. “Good travels!” He says before continuing on his way.

You all look between each other and Hala says, breaking the silence. “That sounds really fun, oh let’s go, can we go please?”

Blake shrugs and looks to you. You sigh and roll your shoulders. “I don’t see why not? Just need to find an inn first, I gues.”

“Yaaaaay!” Hala exclaims, her tail wagging back and forth. She leans over to Blake and whispers a little too loudly, “Hey, what’s a fair?”

You manage to find an inn pretty easily, mostly because the town only has like, three. Surprisingly, there were rooms available, which is often not the case of fairs or festivals are occurring, and the innkeeper seems sort of miffed that this one came out of nowhere, or else he’d be fully booked. Oh well, chances are by the end of the night people from outlying farms and ships would end up there anyway, so he wasn’t tooooo mad.

You still found the situation utterly curious, but come on, it’s a fair. The only time you ever went to one was when you were but a naive child, being taken there by your mother, your father too much of a deadbeat to go with you. You really enjoyed playing the games and eating the fried foods, and finally seeing the big top show, your mother smiling beside you as you jumped in joy when a troupe of monkeys flew through the air on ropes.

You rub at your eye and find it slightly wet. Weird, was that… A tear? No, certainly not, you didn’t miss your mother! It was just some of Hala’s hair in your eyes, that’s all.

“You okay there boss?”

“Everything alright, wizard?”

Your mind sort of gets punched from two angles and both Bubs and Harmony mentally inquire at the same time. You hold your head for a moment, trying to send out between the two, your neural pathways getting a little discombobulated.

“Bubs, no I’m fine.”

“Nothing to worry about Harmony.”

The psychic one-two continues again and Tabitha looks at you funny as you stagger some.

“If you say so.”

“I don’t think that’s true at all.”

“OKAY. OKAY STOP.” You send to both, massaging your temples. Okay, you didn’t think this would be an issue, but ouch, ouch. This wasn’t going to work, you were going to get a migraine and pass out or something. You rack your brain and think for a moment about what to do. Uhh. Uhhhhh. Maybe if you could… Merge the two? Get like, a private matrix in your head which had all three neural pathways linked?

You focus your mind and try to join the two other presences in your head, and with surprising ease, it works!

” Wo ah woah woah big guy, what’s all this about?” Asks Bubs as he scurries in your pocket. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Hmph!” Mentally sniffs Harmony. “Your familiar is a dirty rat? Honestly I wondered why it was in your pocket.”

“I’ll have you know I am proud of being dirty!”

“Uh huh, I’m sure you are ratty.”

You groan. This may cause more trouble than it saved. “Ugh, stop fighting in my head. Look, you two are going to be working together, so best get along, okay?”

Bubs shifts awkwardly and Harmony ripples with power.

“Sorry…They both say in unison before becoming quiet, forcing you to sigh. The things you do for magic… But that’s settled, so you finally right yourself, and notice Tabitha poking you with her sword.

“Are you going to be alright, Wizard?”

You wave your hand, “Yes yes, let’s just get going.” You nod to the rest of your group, who have finished getting unloaded in the room, and the horses stabled, before you head out to the outskirts of town.

It’s not a terribly long walk, and before you reach the edge of the town, the sky has turned dark and a plethora of many colored lights illuminates the night sky above and around the fair. The first thing you notice as you start to see more people is the large red and white striped tent in the center of the fair, the big top, so it is. Most fairs that travel to seem have one of these and you never bothered to learn why, but it was probably just tradition.

Around the big top were multiple stalls from which smells of all sorts emanated, and it made your mouth water and your heart twinge at the memory of the smell. You feel Harmony sort of twist, metaphorically, as you think this, but you pay it no mind. Fair time!

When you reach the edge of the fair, where people were lining up, you see three women standing there, passing out tickets to people. They were all three very tall, lithe women with dark, chocolately skin that seemed amplified in the light cast by the filters around simple lanterns. They all worse rather revealing clothing, their chests showing ample cleavage as their midriffs were bare, exposing very smooth stomachs, which seemed to glisten with a light sheen of sweat, or possibly oil. The most distinct feature about them however, was that all three wore cowls which kept in place very interesting masks made of a white, plaster-like material and painted in various shapes and colors. Only the eyes and mouth were exposed in these masks, and the eyes themselves were shaded by the night and your distance.

As you approach, they all seem to immediately take notice of your group, and you can feel the eyes of one wearing a blank mask of pure white and a red cowl on you before she shakes her head and hands you a ticket,

“Free of charge sir, today, the fair is open for everyone!”

Her voice was velveteen, yet there was a hint of roughness, as if she had seen some shit and knew how to survive it. You take the ticket gingerly and look down to see in big letters, “Big top ticket- Carnival din Luna, three bells.”

You look up to see the rest of your party receive their tickets, Blake not being able to grab his ticket before Hala swipes it from the woman and growls at her, before handing it sweetly to Blake, who sighs. You roll your eyes at the display and Tabitha does the same before taking a ticket. She pauses momentarily, narrowing her eyes at the attendant, who pointedly ignores her. Seeing nothing exciting, Tabitha just moves along, trailing behind the happy couple.

Once inside the fair, you notice quickly that there are far more people here than this town could hold. Infact, it seemed like most of the countryside around here had come on down, and you could see them enjoying all that could be had. Plates of fried bread strings with powdered sugar were passed around, while cycle whipped candy was devoured by children who ate it off sticks. You smile as you see a kid devouring a pack of fried goodies, from chicken to cookies, you could fry anything.

The next thing you noticed were the large amounts of couples here. It wasn’t too surprising as this was a great date spot, but it does sort of irk you to be in the middle of this. You could tell that Veronica was uncomfortable seeing this as well, as she shifted about in her armor, which she insisted on wearing, despite the fact that she had no real reason to do so. She was probably regretting it because it was hot and she would have gotten more looking from Blake if she wore something skimpy like Hala. Actually you didn’t even know what she looked like out of armor, not that you really cared, but hmm.

Veronica did get lots of stares from the third thing you noticed, which was that every last attendant was one of the dark skinned women wearing the masks. It was a little creepy, to be sure, but the happy way they interacted with everyone really took the edge off it, and you had a hard time being angry. Hell, despite their skimpy clothing, no one seemed overly to take notice of them, which was probably the oddest thing of all.

But that’s that, time to enjoy yourself. Or well, you could, had the rest of your party not left you as Hala dragged Blake about to see a menagerie of strange animals. Veronica and Tabitha had split off to, each seeming mildly disgruntled as they watched Blake get pulled about, a smile on his face, and you felt this could only end well.

Sighing, you quickly locate a stall with alcohol and get about a silver’s worth of some strong shit, which smelled like watermelons and tasted like ass. But it was good ass! The attendant who poured it for you, wearing a mask painted in garish purple and green colors held her hand on yours as she handed to it for a littttttle too long and you had to pull away uncomfortably before you started your drinking.

“Humph! The nerve of that strumpet!” Huffs Harmony mentally.

“What do you care, you’re a staff.” Says Bubs as he hops from your pocket to eat leftover food on the ground.

“W…well, I’m just looking out for the wizard’s interests is all.”

You finish your drink and start on the next one, staring off into space. Oh Harmony, you barely knew her… It… Whatever, and you felt at ease with the staff, despite her predilection to be annoying at times. Maybe it was the drink, maybe it was the couple running about, but for some reason you had a strange thought about what Harmonious must have looked like. Certainly she had to have had a lithe, petite body to be aerodynamic, with excellent breasts that contoured well despite their size, and small, but noticeably hips that lead down to her well developed thighs. Her wings and feathers were probably immaculate shades of yellow and gold, that shone brilliantly on the sunlight as she soared through the sky, electricity dancing from her, and her face was probably gorgeous, with stunning eyes and a small, but cute mouth that whispered quietly, “s..sorry.”

You shake your head and stare at Harmony, which you could swear would be bright red if staves could do that.

“Uh… Harmony, can you read my?…”


“She means yes, yes she can.” Says Bubs as he gnaws at a chicken leg that was only half eaten.

You rub at your forehead and sigh before gingerly picking the staff up. She… Huh, when did you start thinking of the staff as a she? Seemed to ripple at your touch and you just… You just need something else to do. Something to eat? Yes, yes that sounds good. For good measure, you take more drink. You didn’t have a problem, who said you did? Blake? He’s an asshole.

Shut up.

You wander over to a fried foods vendor, another dark skinned woman who was frying up some cookies with cream filling in the middle and you mouth starts watering. Seriously, anything could be fried, and as you watch the process, you take another swig of your drink, then pause, realization striking. By the gods, you could deep fry a heated bread pouch!

“Hey, hey lady.” You ask, only mildly tipsy, you think. She look at you funny, but her eyes travel over your body as you ask it. Huh, this liquor was really strong, but you felt that she was checking you out with those hungry eyes. Pshaw.

You pull out a heated bread pouch and wave it about. “Can you make this fry? Real deep like.”

She stares at it, then at you, then shrugs and takes if, adding some flour, then dropping it into a pot of boiling liquid. It pops and sizzles and your nose is assaulted with the smells of bliss becoming nirvana, and you’re mouth starts watering as you watch it grow on beauty. An eternity later, she removes the now fried pouch from the liquid, and wraps it, handing it back to you as you fumble with your materials before juggling the got pouch and taking a bite,

  1. Owwww, that’s hot as fuck.
  2. This was BBQ flavored
  3. This was heaven.

You sigh in ecstasy and wander/ stagger over to a side alcove near some stalls, and sit with your back to some signs stacked up against one. You savor your flavor and finish your drinking, staring off into the night sky as people laughed and played around you. Fuck em, you had your food, your drink, your staff…

You look at harmony again, and the acute sensation of blushing comes to you again as you recall your mental picture of Harmonious. Harmony was not her, but she was as well crafted length of wood, with a very beautiful gem on top.

“Hey… Hey harmony.”

She answers, a little diminutive. “Uhm… Yes?”

“When you were a bird lady, did you have a nice ass?”

“W…what? I.. I!” The staff is at a loss for words and you can physically feel the wood become warm to your touch. “W…what makes you ask that!” She says, mental voice going up a few octaves.

“W..well you see, I was curious, you know if you did, and like what you think now? Like, like if someone was to stick you up something, or you know….”

You can’t really think of words as you wave about the half eaten heated bread pouch, slinging BBQ goodness everywhere. Harmony is at a loss for words, and your hand is starting to hurt as she is basically burning up. You stare at the staff, getting your face real close as you whisper, “soundi…”


You snap back into focus and stare off into the void as you localize the voice. That’s,., Bubs… In your head, the rat. As you put Bubs back into your head, everything seems to crystallize and you suddenly realize what you just did. Your hands tremble in horror and you drop Harmony, staring down. By the gods you… And the urethra… Oh, oh gods, this liquor must have… Oh gods!

You choke down a scream and turn about to slam your head into the signs of you were siting behind, over and over, feeling the bad thoughts being purged, up until you give yourself a mild concussion, and you pass the fuck out.

You come to as someone is gently rubbing your shoulder and you look up to see one of the dark skinned women shaking you. You blink your eyes and shake your head, trying to adjust. You… Slammed your head into a wall to… Something. All you knew was that your head was hurting like hell and you groan.

“Are you well? Do you have brain damage?” She asks, feeling your head, then neck… Then chest. You wave her away and she stands back up as you do the same, picking up your thankfully unlooted staff and gear. For some reason Harmony is super warm. Weird!

You look around and see far less people about, and the others all moving towards the big top. You look back to the woman who’s green eyes twinkle through her mask.

“The main event is beginning soon, shall I accompany you?”

You rub your head and look around again. Yeah, not really that many people about, you just have been passed out for quite some time. You look again at the woman standing before you in her skimpy clothing and concealed face and you narrow your eyes. Why is a staff member so…excited about you?

You open your [mage sight] and find a small amount of magic present in the woman. Nothing really… Exciting, but it confirmed she was at least some kind of sorceress, although she felt sort of… Weird? Like not what you’d expect a typical sorceress to look like. But you’ve seen stranger things, so you shut off your sight and chew on your lip as you think.

Blake and the rest probably ended in at the show and you really didn’t have a reason to suspect any shenanigans, so going to the show probably was fine. Yeah, your head hurt like hell and you didn’t overly trust this goodwill, but, well, you did kind of want to see the big top….

“Harmony, Bubs, we’re headed out, you good?”

“Uh, I think we should be asking that big guy.” Thinks Bubs as you notice him scurrying around some trash. Harmony is silent but still very warm, and you really don’t know why. Do staves get sick? Hmm…

“Oh? Well, my head hurts but I’m okay, how are you Harmony?”

She takes a few moments to respond before mumbling, “O..oh, I’m uhm, okay, yeah.”

You rub the back of your head, then look back to the attendant, who seems really like she wants to leave and you sigh. Very well then, Harmony seems a little preoccupied for some reason you couldn’t explain, but it was probably fine. She seems to ripple some as you have this thought and you can’t help but wonder if it was related to you having a head injury. Ah, whatever, you’d remember if it was important.

Taking a deep breath, you exhale slowly and nod to the attendant, “Yeah, uh, sure, okay. Let’s uh, let’s go then I uh…. Yes.”

You’re smoother than butter you son of a bitch.

She cocks her head at you beneath her mask and then a slight chuckle escapes he’d throat as she gets a little too close to you, then takes your arm and leads you to the big top. The whole way there, you have to keep her from rubbing up against you with those delicious sacs of fat called breasts that keep trying to cop a feel of your arm as she presses close to dodge foot traffic. It’s not like she was TRYING to push into you, right? Regardless, soon enough you reach the tent and the woman hesitates before slowly letting go of your arm.

“Enjoy the show sir, I’m sure you’ll find it very…. Pleasurable. If there’s anything you need,” she leans forward as she says this, exposing even more cleavage than before, “please let me know.”

You turn away, uncomfortable, and squeeze Harmony who seems to aethericaly writhe in your hand. What is up with her anyway? The attendant let’s you go, and you slip into the tent quickly to avoid her and you stop in your tracks as you are assaulted by a barrage of noise.

It seems the entire town and everything around as you suspected, was in this tent, and they were loud, seated in rough wooden stadium seating, the people chatting as they waited for the show to begin. Inside the center of the tent was a large pole connected by a tightrope to another set of poles on each end that held the tent together, and ran above a large, looped structure that separated the theatre in the round style seating. In the center of the ring was a circular platform and you couldn’t help but remember when you saw a large mustached man when you were young, twiddling his mustache while he oversaw an entire masterpiece of a show.

Of course, no one was there at the moment, although a few of the attendants with masks were about, mostly as security you felt. You look around and easily spot Hala as she leaned over the seats, staring at everything, her tail wagging back and forth, and Blake laughing next to her, keeping her from jumping out of her seat. Looking about, you spot Veronica and Tabitha, sitting apart but staring intently at The couple. Oh love quadrangles!

You shake your head and move to the most reasonable of the two, also the closest, which is Tabitha, and find she has plenty of room about her. It’s almost like she’s intimidating or something! As you approach, she turns to you and nods her head.

” You look like you smashed your head into a wall, Wizard.”

“That’s pretty much exactly what happened.” Mentally squeaks Bubs from your pocket. Apparently he was in there and you didn’t even notice.

You rub your head and shrug, “Makes sense, I’ve been drinking I suppose…”

Tabitha lifts and eyebrow before shrugging and staring back at Blake as she says, “I don’t like this place. Something feels terribly off about everything here.”

“Are you sure it isn’t because Blake is being lovey-Dovey with Hala?”

She grits her teeth. “No, it is not because he won her a stuffed bear at a bottle toss, nor was it the food they shared which lead into a kiss, not was it the romantic carriage ride through a cheaply made tunnel.” She turns at looks at you, pure hatred in her eyes. “It was none of these things.”

You lift your hands defensively, “okay, okay, calm down, geez.” Lunatics, all of them, all after the poor man’s D. By the gods this was only going to get worse before it got better, huh?

As you ponder this, the lanterns in the tent start to burn low and everyone quiets as they look down at the stage. A few whispers go about, but everyone waits patiently as a figure moves through the dark. A moment later, a pinpoint lantern light appears on the figure and you can see an utterly gorgeously curved woman, with dark, chocolate skin and tattoos running up the right side of her body standing on the center platform. She was only wearing a small amount of clothing, something to cover and support her Ample breasts and a thin cloth to cover her nether regions. Oh, and of course, she wore a mask like all the others, painted in shades of red and white.

The woman bows and waves a hand out over the crowd before projecting, “Welcome,one and all, to the Carnival din Luna!”

People began to cheer in the crowd, and she raises a Hand before continuing. “Tonight, you shall see feats of skill and prowess that will boggle your mind, and shock your senses, and you will not leave tonight without feeling greater pleasure than you’ve ever known. But for now, lean back and enjoy the show.”

The lights darken again and when they appear again, another masked woman was on the tightrope, balancing on one foot as she bent down and around, showing amazing balance while exposing ample amounts of skin and underclothing. She whips up around the rope and slides her ass through the air before slow, sensually rising up the rope and being picked up by another attendant who gently takes her hand and rubbing her body, eliciting a series of moans before the lights fall again.

The next four acts were thinly veiled sex acts, although things could just be too artistic for you, and you groan when one performer sniffs fhe ass of another one on the swings that were set up on the main pillar. You feel really uncomfortable, but you notice the rest of the crowd had begun to watch even more attentively, especially the couples, who eyed each other as the shows progressed, the men licking their lips while the women shifted their clothing.

You bite your lip, but not much you can do. With some reservations, you <fast scan> the room and find nothing out of the ordinary. Actually, you do use your [mage sight] again and see that all of the attendants were mildly magically attuned and you begin to worry. Why would they all be attuned, yet they weren’t casting any magic? Were their lewd actions Just that enticing? It was hard to say, but something was happening here and it made you uncomfortable as you shifted about.

As you think this, the central figure walks forward again and addresses the crowd, swinging her hips about as she speaks,

“Dear patrons, I do hope that you have enjoyed the acts, and feel… Aroused for more. If is with this feeling that I do show the next, and most important act. Please, hold your applause until… Well, you’ll know,”

With that, she takes out a vial of white liquid from between her breasts and you notice the rest of the attendants on the tend do as well. You didn’t notice when the rest appeared, but it seemed to be backed with the masked women. You look to Tabitha who seemed bothered for some reason not pertaining to this, but still noticing the changes about.

As you are about to say something, the sound of corks un screwing echoes from the front and you see the the central figure slowly take off her mask, revealing a gorgeous face with red, bright lips and piecing eyes which were framed by shoulder length black hair tied into a bun behind the head. She shakes out the hair loose and you realize with a start that her ears were pointed.

In fact, all of the women and removed their masks for equal clearance and they all have long, pointed ears and gorgeous faces. As one, they take the vials and drink the liquid, before opening their mouths and rubbing their bodies in unison. The central figure ushers a moan which echoes through the crowd and slams into you, staggering you as you realize this was a huge boost in magical power, as if it was some kind of ritual.

Dear gods, it was a ritual, wasn’t it? The lead woman was sliding her hand over her body as she twirled and spun, utterly increasingly frequent moans as her hands traced over her body, squeezing her breasts and sliding across her thighs as the crowd became enthralled in her rhythmic movements. You open your [mage sight] and see the power of magic flowing from the other women into her, congealing and forming a cohesive mass of pure magical energy was which was begin focused and channeled into a central force.

By the time you realized what was happening, it was too late, and the woman screamed, her voice almost orgasmic,


And with that, all the energy stored up flew out to wash over the crowd, saturating them their their own built up lust and the power channeled by the dark skinned women. You could feel it hit you, feel your mind reel in confusion and ecstasy as your vision pin pointed on the closest set of breasts near you, your breathing becoming ragged and shallow, your dick hardening to that of granite.

That, of course, is when the people began tearing their clothes off in a wild drive to fuck while the ring leader began to laugh manically.

These robes, they were too stuffy, too in the way. You needed to… To remove them, or how else would you be able to free your dick to the air and plunge it into the women about you, driving your baser instincts into their sex, relishing in the ecstasy of your carnal desires.

You begin to tear your robe off, getting caught in the fabric and you yell in frustration! If you waited too long, you’d get the dregs! You could not allow yourself to do this! You struggle, dropping your staff, which you couldn’t fuck, and a distant cry of alarm sounds in your head as it falls. It was just as ephemeral as the voice of Tabitha, who was screaming beside you. Neither of them mattered.

With effort, you manage to fling off your robe, exposing your uncovered chest and pants, which were still too much in the way. With fumbling hands, you start to work at your belt, when you notice the incredibly sensual, deliciously built fair staff, which you figure were Dark Elves, of course, were derobing, sliding out of their revealing clothing with little effort as they began to bound and leap into the orgy that was the crowd, landing upon men and dominating them with their lavascious bodies. Women they found in their way were batted aside, although the humans managed to find another willing partner with little trouble.

You look out in the crowd and spot the fair staff who had helped you there and your eyes meet, a wild lust filling her eyes as she backflips yards into the air and lands upon the back of a man next to you, cracking it audibly, before she slinks down and removes her mask.

“Oh yes….” She cooes, touching your face as your breathing becomes more frantic. ” 8 will enjoy taking you.”

As she begins to move to take you, you hear a soft, whistling sound, and one moment her hand was on your cheek, the next, a fountain of blood was gushing to cover your face and chest.

You and the dark elf both stare at the stump where her arm used to be, dumbfounded. The dark elf blinks and looks closely before a look of shock crosses her face.

“Ah… Ah? AHHHHHHH!” She suddenly screams flailing about, her screams lost in the orgasmic cries around her. You just think that the blood splattering your body makes a fantastic lubricant, and you reach forward to grab her naked body with one arm, ripping at your pants with the other. One armed or not, she was fine and you’d have…

Your head twists 90 degrees as a powerful force strikes you across the cheek and you spin, slamming into the ground, your thoughts spinning. You… You needed to have sex and… And…

Oh gods what were you doing?

You shake your head and look at yourself in horror before scanning around you. Everywhere you saw men and women performing deplorable acts, spraying their juices about as they let their inner beasts out to ravish each other senseless. The dark elves were intermixed in the crowd, taking those they chose and dispatching or subduing any who tried to interfere in their conquests. Thankfully, children were spared the effects of this magic, but when you saw a young boy crushed into the weight of a frenzied threesome, your stomach turns.

“THIS!” Cried the ringleader, standing upon her stage as she moved her arms slowly over her body, moans escaping every so often as she masturbated, her deft fingers performing lewd acts as her tattooes flared in a multitude of colors.

“This is how war should be fought! Oh…ohhhh ah! My… My lady Victoria! You were right! You were so right! Ah…ahhhhhh!!!” She squirms as she orgasms and your attention is brought back to your immediate surroundings as Tabitha slaps you again.

“Damnit wizard! Pull yourself together!”

You grab her hand and stare her in the eyes. “I’m fine now, I’m fine! Stop slapping me!”

You look about and see your robes, but with all the blood on you, you probably couldn’t get them on well. Guess you had to make do without. You scoop up Harmony from between a couple rutting themselves like pigs and a sense of relief washes through you.

“By the gods Wizard, I thought you had let go of your senses completely!” Cries Harmony in your mind.

“Oi that’s my line!” Squeaks Bubs as he crawls out from your discarded robes. ” thought you’d crush me in your frenzy there. You alright big guy?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” You say audibly, and Tabitha nods. You look at her curiously and ask, “How did you resist the ritual?”

“I’m a Lizardman, mind tricks don’t work on me, only duels.” She doesn’t elaborate further. “Regardless, what are we going to do now?”

You scan the crowd again and find Veronica, who had a small circle around her cleared of a few broken corpses of dark elves. You watch as she pushes away a few men, he breath ragged and her cheeks flushed, and it’s obvious that she’s having a hard time resisting the effects of the ritual, her baser desires keeping her from full lucidity. You quickly locate Blake next and see….

The fucker had managed to remove all of his clothing and was currently slamming his meat stick into Hala as she cried out like a wolf. You watch as a dark elf flips forward into the crowd next to him, and she attempts to kick away Hala, who, despite having a cock in her, manages to twist about, snag the dark elf’s leg, pull her to the ground, and tear out her throat with her teeth.

The stimulation from so much movement and raw ferocity causes Blake’s face to spasm and jerk and you just knew the bastard came inside the wolfgirl who looked far more pleased than she had any right to. Sick, sick, sick little monkeys.

You look back to Tabitha and nod your head. “First, we need to gather our team, and then we stop this ritual!”

“How?!” She shouts, looking about, and spotting the ringleader, who had now summoned a ring of men about her, and was currently milking them for their semen, each time a gush of the white fluid contacts her, her tattoos flaring up brighter.

Tabitha nods and you look to Bubs. “Bubs, I need you to get Veronica.”

“Uhh sure, okay boss, but how am I going to?… Oh, right. Hit me I guess.”

You cast [metamorphosis] and your raw swells to the size of his dire form, before bounding away in the crowd, stepping over the couples and gnawing at a few dark elf ankles on the way. You think they like it, but that’s not the point.

You turn to Tabitha and nod your head. “Let’s get the happy couple.” She frowns at you but doesn’t say anything as she draws her sword and stares at the crowd around her, ready to cut some people down to make way. You shake your head and raise Harmony.

“Let it snow, let it go.” You think to her and through her, you cast [cold blooded].

The fucking around ceases abruptly as a wave of pure cold washes over the people there. They drop, shivering for warmth, and you press forward, a nearly catatonic Tabitha beside you. Right, right, reptile and hypothermia. Meh!

You press forward towards Hala and Blake creating more areas of cold, when you hear behind you and loud, ear splitting scream.


You look behind you and see the one armed dark elf, staggering and shivering as she holds the stump of her arm, her dark skin seeming pale as she slumps to one knee. You look around and see all the dark elves suddenly looking at you, their eyes intent upon you and Tabitha and you lick your lips.

“Lady… Oh…oh…oh…ohh! Lady Victoria will not, oh yes, oh oh Dollora, forgive us if we fail!” Cries the ringleader as she slides her hips up and down the shaft a of very pleased looking man on the center stage. She shudders before raising a hand into the air.

“Kill them!”

You and Tabitha exchange worried looks, then redouble your efforts through the crowd as spooge covered blowjob queens land around you, magic flaring to life in their hands. You dodge a fireball thrown at you before casting another area of [cold blooded] and slowing down the movements of the people and the elves (Tabifha too, you suppose)) and you point Harmony at the nearest elf, and rapidly perform <fast scan> before slamming out an [indigestion].

The elf drops to the ground, her beautiful face contorted in pain as she holds her bare stomach. Not long after, a foul smell begins to permeate the area around you and you switch your gaze to another elf, who is coming at you with a blade made of ice. You ready to parry the blow when Tabitha slides forward and slices through the blade, then takes the elf’s legs out from under her. Literally.

You push forward again as the elves behind you scream in agony, and you get about 10 fuck-meters of couples away before 5 more elves appear in front of you, forcing you to step back and evaluate your situation. Ugh, you couldn’t make all of them shit themselves fast enough and Tabitha was freezing. It looks like fire or electricity was your only bet but all these people around…

As the lead elf jumped into the air, an arc of fire leaping between her hands, a large, furry shape slams into her, throwing her into a crowd of mostly men who were ravaging one poor lady, and which eagerly took her up and began filling every inch of her body with their hungry dicks.

You look forward and see Bubs standing next to you, his dire form bristling. In the next instant, a shining figure bursts into the pack of elves, and you see that It is Veronica, a halo of incandescent light playing about her as she lays into the elves, smashing them aside with blows of JUSTICE.

“Monstrous heathens!” She yells in a voice that seems utterly unlike her own and that echoes in the crowd. “This is the price of your heresy!”

She downs two dark elves in the blink of an eye, their torsos crushed by the impact of her mace. You quickly down the other two with [indigestion] and nod to her. When she turns to you, you notice her eyes and glowing a soft yellow light and she nods back.

“Wizard! Your assistance was most timely, for this one had a crisis of faith!”

“This… One?”

“It is no matter, we must push forward.” As she says this, she plows through people, not really harming them, but some may have gotten a boot to the ribs as she charges through. You and Tabitha follow in her wake and soon you come to the two lovers, still stuck together in their lust.

Hala looks up at your group and her eyes shine in triumph as she growls, “He is mine! His seed fills my womb!”

Tabitha boots her upside the head and she slams into the seating, causing Blake to be pulled down, and then out of her orifice, a torrent of his spunk spilling out. He looks about in horror, and moves to reconnect, but Veronica places a glowing hand on his bare chest and utters, “Exterminatus de monstroso.”

Blake’s eyes widen and he becomes lucid again and he looks around, the same horrified expression you showed when you were awakened. “By the gods, was I? Oh gods…”

He looks at Veronica and Tabitha before noticing where their gazes were and he quickly turned about, gathering up his pants. You just roll your eyes. Honestly, you’re kind of inured to his dick by now.

Hala gets herself up slowly and she looks around before focusing on Tabitha. “The fuck was that for?”

Tabitha just glares at her. “Wipe the blood of your chin, we have a ritual to stop.”

Hala glares back and wipes her chin before going to explore her cunt. She removes sticky fingers and sucks on them as she quickly scans the situation. “Guh, elves. Didn’t see them much in the forest but they were a pain.”

You look away as she goes for a second helping and you cough. “More will be coming, we must go and face the ringleader.” You wave Harmony at the tattooed elf in the center off the tent. The rest of your party nods and you, your bare chest covered I blood, leads the charge forward down the seats. Well. You actually let Veronica lead since she has armor, but you’re helping.

You fight through a few more Dark elves, but they quickly realize this will get them nowhere and they group together around the central orgy, where the ringleader’s skin is more white than chocolate now. Her moans and cries ring out above the grunts of the many men she is milking and you set up, preparing to cast a spell to [taze] the while group.

As you do so the remaining dark elves link their hands together and a shield of force appears between them. You throw out your spell, which is blocked with little trouble and you glare at the elves, who seem too preoccupied keeping up the barrier to attack.

“Damnit.” You growl, readying your [mage sight]. “I’ll have to dispel it. Hold on.”

As you start to dispel the barrier, the ring leader cries out in an orgasm, and the crowd of men about her slumps down, exposing her gorgeous body, encrusted in semen. She licks her lips and her tattoos flare almost so much as to be painful as her wonderfully endowed chest heaves.

“Oh no, no, no. This will not do! The carnival is one of lust and enjoyment, a gift to my lady and her master! You shall not stop what has begun!”

She removes a vial of a black liquid from somewhere in the pile of men. “Though I should wish to have this blessing in the grace of lady Victoria, she has nonetheless gifted me with this transformation, that I might better serve!” She takes the vial and takes out the cork, downing the full solution before she drops it, uttering a scream of ecstasy as the semen on her body and from the men around her flows like water into her skin, and she spasms, her body rocking back and forth in tremors.

You try desperately to break the barrier, but the other elves redouble their efforts as you take down pieces, slowing your advance. Your notice in horror that the ringleader has he mouth open in a soundless scream as her legs ripple and writhe and with a sickening crunching noise, the explode splattering the men with blood and causing her to drop out of sight.

Your mind can barely comprehend what is occurring here as you hear a multitude of cracking and squelching noises, a variety of fluids flying into the air as she screams, this time in pain. You slam down at the barrier and break it the point where it is barely held together.


The aspirant wades forward, and taking her mace in two hands, and with a mighty yell, she shatters the barrier, scattering the elves before her like so many reeds in the wind. The rest of your party charges forward, and as Tabitha reaches the pile where the ringleader fell, a chitinous hand shoots out and grabs her by the throat, lifting her into the air.

You watch as the dark elf rises up, but instead of two legs, she rises on eight, massive spider legs connected to a segmented abdomen which was black as night. Her torso was still her own, glowing with powerful tattoos, but her arms were made of a black chitin that ended in delicate talons. You watch her face as she closes her two green eyes, then opens them again, all three sets of them, shining with a black inkiness seen only in insectoid monsters.

She looks at Tabitha, then slides a finger delicately across the lizard girl’s shirt, tearing it open and revealing her wrapped breasts.

“Hora hora… Now why would you hide these? Dear, dear, you need to open up.” She slices open the bandages, and Tabitha’s ample breasts slide forward, jiggling some as they are released from their prison. The former dark elf laughs. “Much better! Maybe I’ll let you have some fun before I kill you. But for now…”

The spider elf thing chops at the side of Tabitha’s neck, causing her to go slack before dropping her like a sack of bricks and turning to the rest of you.

“Well then, who’s up for the next round?”

“Spread out!” Shouts Blake as the Drider grabs one of the unconscious men around her and flings it at your party.

Hala and Blake jump to the side, landing deftly as the body slams into Veronica, causing her to stagger backwards with a grunt as she cushions the man’s flight with her hard, armored body, leaving only a few audible cracks of his bones. You were fine though, since you were standing behind the Aspirant. Lucky!

The Drider laughs, then skitters down the pile of men as four dark elves who managed to stay upright from Veronica’s mighty mace fall in line with her. You watch as the dark elves close their eyes and start to channel magic into weapons of fire and ice, and with speed you can hardly believe possible from earlier, they are upon your party, two attacking Blake and two attacking Hala while the Drider slams into Veronica.

“Wizard!” Shouts Blake as he parries a sword of fire with his blade. “We’ll handle these, support Veronica!”

You really, really wonder if Blake will be okay, but you just let it be. He’ll be a meat shield for awhile you suppose. Hala… Well, anyway, back to Veronica before that became and issue.

You wish that Tabitha was here, but she was obviously out of the fight, her breathing stable, but unconscious. You grit your teeth and watch as Veronica’s aura of light flares brightly as her armor absorbs a brutal slash from the Drider’s talons before a follow up abdominal slam forces Veroncia backwards, allowing the Drider to close in, only to fall back as the mace swings out at her.

Veronica was a powerhouse with that mace, but her defensive capabilities weren’t as good as you could hope, and her speed was just plain lacking. If Bubs could maintain his dire form longer, you could have him attack and help the others, but you were pushing the time limit and had to drop the [metamorphosis], forcing Bubs to collapse in exhaustion as the magic leaves his body.

You needed to help her, but the Drider left no openings, and any spell which would hit the Drider would certainly hit Veronica, and if it didn’t take out the spider, she’d be on you like a beard on a wizard. Or. Some other… Simile… Anyway, you needed something else, something you could add into the fight to even the odds some.

You look around the field suddenly, your [mage sight] open, your senses questing. Yes, yes there was plenty of raw material around, you just needed to concentrate, because this was going to be a doozie.

You grip both hands on Harmomy and close your eyes, channeling your will as magic flows around you. You can feel your strength waning as you push your power forward and about you, energy starts to become visible to the naked eye.

“Wizard, what are you?…” Whispers Harmony in your mind before pausing and seeming to consider. “I see. If that’s your will, then so be it.”

Suddenly, as if a door is being unlocked, the power floods into Harmony and through her, being converted into something more than it was before, and slowly, you feel the filth and excrement of the audience and the elves in the tent begin to pull towards you, forming into a tornado of pure waste. Slowly, you form in your mind the image, and harmony shapes it, smoothes out the edges, both of you working together as two practiced artisans filling the gaps let by the other, making something greater than the sum of its parts.

As you do this, the battle rages on. Blake dodges a blow aimed for his chest, then sweeps aside a thrust before sliding down and taking the legs out from under one of the elves, his blade whipping forward to make a huge gash in her leg, eliciting a cry of agony before he whipped about to the next elf, who has deftly jumped into the air and was channeling some sort of electricity spell, which he sent down in a massive burst that slammed down at Blake, causing him to vanish in beam of light which engulfed the other elf as well.

When it was over, the unfortunate elf was nothing more than charred cinders, but Blake held firm, Lionsedge crackling as the magical energies of the lightning were discharged through it, spraying sparks from the glowing metal of the blade. The dark elf who cast the spell looks incredulous as Blake carefully picks himself up and readies to fight again. She grits her teeth and screams, before forming another spear of ice and charging at the Hero who meets her head on.

Hala, was not faring as well. She had multiple cuts and gashes all over her naked body, although she did not bleed from most due to the heat of the fires blades. She had managed to hamstring one of the elves, who hung behind her friend, and the two circled the wolfgirl, who was on all fours, circling them as well, neither pack willing to make the first move until one of the dark elves, the one who was whole motions to dash foreword. Hala’s eyes widen and she leaps for the elf as her lunge begins, and catches the nimble elf off guard, who manages to twist enough to avoid getting a face full of wolf fist, as Hala did not bring her shiny new claws, but instead she gets thrown to the ground and savaged as Hala tears into her left breast with her teeth, tearing out a huge chunk of fatty flesh form the elf before the hamstrung elf slashes at Hala, forcing her to roll off her prey and back onto all fours, growling.

In the center then, was Veronica and the Drider, despite how Hala was doing, Veronica had it much, much worse. The light around her had begun to dim and her movements grew sluggish and slow as she tried desperately to connect with her mace. The Drider merely danced backward, or slid the blow aside before raining down a barrage of blows onto the Aspirant, who cried out in pain. A particularly savage blow connects with Veronica’s face and she spins, falling backwards and to one knee, dropping her mace. She fumbles to grab it again, but finds that her arm is caught in a sticky substance that is slowly enveloping her body.

“Ehehahahaha! Rejoice in being my first captured in this way!” Cries out the Drider as she spins her webs around the immobilized Veronica who looks to you, terrified.

That is when you open your eyes and wave Harmony in a slow arc, before slamming her butt on the ground, the sound echoing without any regards for physics, and a great squelching noise fills the tent as the ball of shit you had been channeling slams to the ground and explodes outwards, coating everything in thirty feet in a thin layer of feces and waste.

Everyone stops and stares at the shitsplosion and from ground zero arises the delicate form of a woman made of pure filth. It’s proportions weren’t white right and it was a little jarring to look at, especially since it had some kind of square, blocky face, but you stare at the Drider, sweat streaming off your face and you cry,

“You’re about to have a shitty day!”

The golem moves faster than should be possible, skating across the sea of filth as if it was part of her body and slamming into the Drider with the force of charging bull, forcing her off Veronica and backwards, scrambling in the veneer of shit to gain proper footing. The golem, however, did not find this a hindrance, and with your instruction, it sailed forward into the Drider and smashed it with a powerful uppercut that sent the Drider flying, a scream on her lips.

You turn to the rest of your party and see that Hala, in the confusion, had managed to pin down the hamstrung elf and rip her throat out before opening out the entrails of the downed dark elf, who was currently coughing blood as she vainly attempted to fix her ruptured organs. Blake, on the other hand, was still dueling the other elf, and as he came in for a blow that would take her spear arm, she dances over him, flipping about in mid air and preparing to jam him from behind.

You two-handed smash her in the back of the head before continuing on to Veronica, your breath becoming ragged from the exertion of keeping such a powerful construct functioning. With some effort, you start to tear at the spider silk, although Blake is the one who frees her, her body slumping to the ground, the holy energy in it spent, leaving her a frail, tired woman.

Not that you looked much better, your concentration wavering as you kept the spell up. Pharmacy was given most of the commands and the golem rained blows upon the Drider who was caught utterly unaware, her attacks ineffective at doing little more than taking off chunks of the golem who didn’t seem to notice or care,

You look about at your party which had gathered up, and you take a deep breath before nodding to Blake. He nods back and helps Veronica up as she regains her balance.

“Wha… What is?…”

“Shit” Replies Blake, gritting his teeth. ” It’s shit.”

You smirk, exhausted, “Yes, that’s nice, but can someone squash this bug for me?”

Veronica closes her eyes and a soft glow appears around her mace. “Give me an opening.”

You nod, wearily and Harmony gives the command, causing the golem to slide backwards on the shit. The Drider, in her fury, drives forward but realizes her mistake too take. She tries to pull back when the golem flows onto her, trapping her legs in a tidal wave of powerful, raw filth. She struggles and rages before looking up at a shadow that had crossed her path, her dark face going pale.

“By Solos’s light, I shall exterminate you!”

“Lady Victor…!” Is all the Drider has time to scream before Veronica’s two handed mace slams down onto her skull, crushing it utterly and caving down into her chest, killing the monster instantly and causing blood and ichor to fly everywhere.

As soon as she goes slack, you can physically feel a pressure wave as the ritual is broken, and the tent which was full of grunts and screams of ecstasy was replaced by shouts of horror and confusion. You just… Sort of sag to the ground, your shirtless, blood and shit stained form slumping over onto your side as you feel the power of your spell dry up and the golem collapse back into its constituent filth. As your eyes start right flutter, you wonder if your robes were okay…

>You learn [Summon consfruct]

>Its imperfect and requires tremendous energy, time, and attention, leaving you vulnerable, but it’s power is immense.

>You reach level 8!

>Your wizard power level is at 90% still.

You wake up in a bed, cleaned and redressed in light clothing. You wake up groggily, still feeling exhausted as you yawn and look about. Oh, it was the inn you were staying at. Apparently no one else was around, but you can see that your robes were folded neatly on a nearby chair and Harmony lay next to you, while Bubs slept in your lap. You carefully take the staff and she cries out,

“Ohmygods you’re awake! Are you alright? You passed out after you did that spell and I was afraid you weren’t going to wake and I wanted to tell the others to be careful with you, but I couldn’t because the whole staff thing and…”

“Woah now, easy there Harmony.” You think, with soothing thoughts. “I’m fine, just.., tired is all.” You rub at your eyes. “What happened anyway?”

“Uhm. Well, after you passed out, all the townspeople kind of freaked out until Blake managed to calm them down, and establish some order.” She pauses. “He’s quite the orator, huh? That or he just has tons of charisma.”

“Uh huh,”

“Right so, he got order back to people and then we brought you and Tabitha back to the inn where you were cleaned off..” She seems to blush with that… Emotion thing of hers. ” Uhm, yeah, and then brought to bed. Kind of a short story really.”

“I see… Where are the others?”

“Nrrrgghhh, you two are loud!” Yawns Bubs as he stretches awake. ” Anyway, I think that they’re taking with the mayor, trying to clean up this mess.”

“And they left me here huh?”

“Sounds about right Big guy.”

You lean back and sigh, staring at the ceiling. Well, guess you had some time to cool down and relax. So, big battle over, and you won the day, congrats! But how many more like this would there be? This was just an opening battle to a war which you couldn’t even comprehend.

Guess you have to ask yourself,

You stretch and get out bed before contemplating putting your robes on. Yes, you could go back to bed and sleep like a good little wizard, but you should probably get some shit done today. Such is life… but first, a snack!

You search around the room for your [pocket dimension] and pull out a warm, flaky-crusted heated bread pouch. You turn it slowly in your hands, inspecting it, before delicately taking a bite. Ham and cheddar, eh could be worse. You munch on the morsel before asking Bubs, “How long was I out for anyway?”

He pops up from your covers, rolling about as he thinks. “Uhh, time is kind of a nebulous concept for a rat you know.”

“Magic rat.”

“Ugh, fine, it’s been like a day or something.”

You stare at him intently.

“Ugghhhh, 17 hours, 4 minutes, and 3… No, 7 seconds.”

You blink, surprised. Bubs just stares at you flatly. “Magic. Rat.”

You shake your head and finish your meal before grabbing another pouch, since you needed to keep up your strength of course! You missed like, 2.5 meals! You pull out roast beast, which you didn’t even think was a flavor but there it was. It felt Solosmas-y somehow, but you ate it anyway.

As you finish licking your hands, you go to dress and stop to stare at your robes. The poor things were torn up in multiple places, despite the extra layers of leather and Blake’s handiwork with a needle could only do so much. You needed to find a way to make this thing better or get a new one. As you ponder this, you remember that you have just the thing.

You inspect the fabric and pull your copy of [Defensive Magic: Volume 1] before biting your fingertip to draw a little blood, which should work for this. Carefully, you draw lines connecting from a greater structure to anchored rune points on the robes, creating lines of aetheric reinforcement for the main sigil. As you finish drawing, you place your hand before the sigil and pulse your will. The blood flashes brightly as magic flows through the sigil and it crackles briefly before simmering down and fading from sight, as if absorbed by the material. You look the cloth over and feel that it is still fairly cloth-like alright. You stretch it a little, find no real resistance, and then you try to slash it with a knife.

The blade slides off. You poke it gently with the blade and nothing happens. A little more bold, you stab at it and the blade seems to connect, drive in some, then glance off. You smile and raise your arms in the air as your [Sigil of Endurance] was properly placed on your [Robes of protection]!

You dress briskly and take up Harmony who giggles as you twirl her about. Waving your hand, Bubs gets the memo and crawls into your pocket to fall back asleep. You finish gathering your items and head downstairs to find a fairly empty common room. The innkeeper takes a look at you as you step down the stairs and he nods.

“Ah, you’re up. Glad to see the ol’ hero of the day finally awake eh?”

“I’m not a hero…” You mumble, looking away, “just a wizard.”

He laughs at this. “Well if you say so! Your companions are still probably out speaking with the mayor I’d think, clean-up is still in progress…” His expression becomes somber. “Lot of blood there was, lot of death. Could have been much worse I know but…”

He shakes his head. “Anyway, this whole town’s got you to thank for this, so let us know if you need anything, ya hear?”

You nod to the man and then leave outside. There aren’t too many people about, despite the time of day, and those who are out look down and ashamed, unable to look their friends in the eyes. Such is the effect of a blood orgy you guess. You just turn on your [mage sight] and extend your senses, getting a small pulse from near the carnival grounds. Looks like the others are over there then.

You reach the grounds in short order and find people moving about, cleaning and dismantling the stalls and restoring the area. Further down at the big top, you can see people moving in and out, taking in buckets of water and other cleaning equipment. As you get close you begin to hear a familiar voice speaking and you turn a corner to find Blake and Veronica speaking with a tall, straight backed man who looked not at all pleased.

Veronica notices you and waves you over weakly, causing the others to turn and notice you.

“Good afternoon Wizard.” Greets Blake. He waves a hand to the mayor, “This is Mayor Skrills. Mayor, our wizard.”

Our… Wizard?

The mayor looks you up and down before sighing. “I suppose you’re the one who covered the entire center of that tent with fecal material, yes?”

You nod your head. “It was necessary at the time.”

“I’m sure. Well, we were finished here I believe. The Hero has done us a great service in keeping the order after this crisis and I have finished consulting him for further steps to take.” He adjusts his formal clothing, “rest assured, this sort of thing shall not happen again. If there is to be war, then Derrick will not be found such easy prey again.” He nods to all three of you before leaving.

You look between the two Order warriors and shrug. “He was nice.”

Veronica sighs and sits down, looking exhausted in her plate armor, which she had somehow found time to polish. You look to Blake who just rolls his eyes.

“It’s just how these things are. I think we’ll get a little more rest and head out tomorrow, okay?” He looks over at the big top and shakes his head. “I think I’ll go help them out. Are you okay Veronica?”

She waves him away with a tired gesture and he hesitates before leaving. You watch him go before sitting down next to Veronica, who looks up at you, her face haggard.

“You don’t look too good ms. aspirant.”

“Fuck off wizard.” She says, only half murderous.

You raise your hands defensively, “Hey hey, just stating a fact, you should really be asleep or something.”

She sighs and rubs her eyes. “Can’t let Blake do this alone. That mongrel is off wandering around the carnival somewhere and who knows what Tabitha is up to after she woke up.”

“Are you tired because of that whole… Glowy light thing?”

She looks at you oddly before seeming to realize something and nodding. “Ah, that. Yeah I suppose. All Chantry members learn to channel the divine will of Solos through themselves, granting strength and endurance for awhile. For some reason…” She taps he armor. “For some reason in this armor it feels as if my connection is purer, more connected to the font of Solos’s power.”

She smirks, “It’s not like Saint Celestine’s lingering spirit is animating this armor or anything, right?”

You raise an eyebrow and touch the armor on her arm, your magical senses flowing. You sense…. You sense… An elaborate series of aetheric connections forming a pattern you can’t comprehend. This was… This must be holy magic, because no human could have layed these on their own. This was blessed by the hand of the gods, and you were confident it wasn’t sentient.

You look into Veronica’s eyes, who seemed too tired to care that you touched her without warning. You pull back quickly and cough into your hand. “Yes! Wait, no, I mean uh. No, there is no spirit in this armor, however there ah… Is a powerful set of enchantments layed by something far above us mortals.”

Veronica looks down at the armor and smirks. “Looks like Saint Celestine truly did have a strong connection to Solos. So strong that he even blessed her armor, and gave this gift to all else who wore it.” She closes her eyes and takes on a serene expression. “It makes me glad to know that despite everything, Solos still smiles upon this world.”

You rub your chin, “Guess that explains why you didn’t freak out when Bubs was with you during the fight.”

Her expression suddenly turns to horror. “The… It…was with me?”

“I think he crawled on your arm at one point too.”

She goes white as a ghost and starts to breathe a little quickly. You raise your hand and wave it back and forth. “Woah woah woah, take it easy, hey, just go lie down, okay?”

She just sort of, falls over on her side and passes out. You poke her with Harmony and get no reaction, but it looks like she’s sleeping comfortably. Good for her. Bad for you though because you don’t really know what to do to move her….

Of course, as you were pondering this, Hala comes walking down the path, dressed in new clothing, which consisted of a sundress which she wore oddly well. You could see the wounds on her face and exposed skin, some patches of her hair burned away from the fight, but she barely seemed to notice with bandages in place. She rubs at the cloth awkwardly before shrugging and gnawing on a turkey leg that she must have found in one of the stalls. Or the ground.

The wolfgirl sees you and waves, standing on her toes before bouncing over, nearly knocking over some workers who looked really peeved. She came up to you and crouched down, chewing on the leg as juices flowed down her chin down her dress.


You blink at Hala and rub between your eyes. “Very lady-like of you.”

“I ain’t no lady.”

“Clearly not! But you could have some manners if you’re going to be with Blake you know.”

She shrugs, “He’s not here and this is really good meat.” She rubs at her chin anyway. “Glad it was still where I saw it yesterday.”

“You really were raised in the woods, huh?”

“Yeeeeep.” She waves her meat at Veronica. “What’s with her?”

“Passed out, tired and such.” You think about it for a second. “Do you think you can take her back to the inn? I’d like to look around here for abit.”

Hala looks at Veronica intently before a mischievous grin appears on her face.

“Ohhohohoho. Sure wizard, I’ll take reaaaaal good care of her.”

You raise a finger. “Hey now, don’t get any funny ideas.”

“Whaaaaaat? Meeeeee?” She says, teeth bared.

“That’s a bad wolfgirl, bad.”

She waves you away and clamps on the turkey leg before lifting up Veronica onto her shoulders with little apparent effort, and starts walking her back to inn. You just watch as they go and briefly wonder if you just did a bad thing. Oh well, Hala was relatively harmless anyway. Probably.

You stretch and continue on your way into the big top and take a look about. The bodies had been cleared out quite some time ago and what was left were all the fluids, wether blood, feces, or other secretions, they were slowly being washed away by the people of Derrick. You wave a hand and a pile of feces which wasn’t washed away flies into the air and you place if gently in your [sack of holding+1] it fit very snuggly in the third compartment you never really filled, separated from the book compartment and the everything else compartment. Aww yeah, magic.

>You gain [Sack of shit]

>it’s raw material for magic, even if it’s actually processed waste from human and elf bodies.

You walk in and see Blake directing a few people before he sighs and looks over at a cage in the corner. Inside sat one of the dark elves, the one Tabitha had cut the arm off, and she merely sat there in a rough spun set of clothes, staring off blankly. You walk over to the cage and poke the elf with Harmony who seems mildly affronted at being a designated fing-longer. She looks up at you slowly before looking back down. You shrug and turn about to Blake who is now standing next to you.

“Only one who didn’t run or commit suicide after their leader was killed. Hasn’t said much since we put her in there.” He sighs and rubs his perfect hair. “Probably won’t live too terribly much longer though. People didn’t feel like patching her up too terribly much. A shame though, because it would be nice to know who this Lady Victoria is.”

“Arachnae, temple guard….” You mutter, not thinking.

Blake looks at you sharply, “How do you know that?”

Your heart starts to beat faster as you search about for an answer, “Uhhhh, well, you see, it’s about this…. Well I know a uhh….”

You gulp and say, “Communion matrix?”

Blake narrows his eyes before shaking his head and grumbling, “Wizards and their arcane devices…” He looks back at the dark elf who was watching you before he sighs again. “If we just slew the servants of a temple guard, then things may get much worse before we even reach the mountains.”

You look pensive for a moment before shrugging. “Oh well, we’ll just squash her when it comes to that is all.”

“Heh.” You and Blake turn to look at the dark elf who was smirking after letting out a small chuckle. She shakes her head as she continues, “You are delusional.”

“Is that so?” Blake asks and she just looks down again, as if the effort of speaking was so great. She doesn’t respond and Blake looks to you, shrugging.

You shake your head and then roll your shoulders. “It is what it is, she brought this on herself.” You rub at your head with Harmony who is sort of yelling on your head for using her as a multi-purpose stick, which she technically was. “Have you seen Tabitha?”

Blake looks away and then sighs. “I don’t know. We let her recover at the inn when we took you back but she’s since gotten up. I saw her once and she just sort of… Stared at me before tugging her jacket tight and walking away quickly. She’s probably hanging around the town somewhere.” He thinks for a moment. “Do you think you could… Well, I know it’s you, but could you find her and let her know we’re leaving in the morning? Maybe see how she is?”

You raise an eyebrow, “I thought you didn’t like her, you were afraid of wanting to marry you?”

His face goes red, “Marry? No, who said? No! What?”

“You know that’s what they do, right? Try to marry whoever beats them? Even I know that.”

He looks uncomfortable, “Yes well… Yes I know that. At the time I didn’t though and I’m just not ready for something like marriage. That’s not to say I don’t like her and all, and she’s quite beautiful, but I…”

“Have Hala?”

“That too, but I’ve been tasked with having to save the whole world!” He puts a hand to his head as he breathes out. “This is one fine mess I’m in.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t mess with women’s hearts so much.”

He smiles ruefully, eyes still covered by his hand. “It’s not intentional, or well, it isn’t anymore. I don’t know, I’ll have to figure things out.”

You blink. “That means…”

“It means I have some thinking to do is all. Look, could you just find Tabitha for me?”

You look at him a little oddly and then shrug. “Sure, whatever man.”

You turn to go, but before you can walk more than a few steps, you head Blake call out, “Wizard… are we friends?”

You don’t even turn around as you reply, “Probably,” and you promptly walk out of the tent.

It’s not that long a trip back to the inn and when you get there, you find Tabitha leaning against the door, sword at her side as he cap’s brim shades her face. As you approach, she looks at you, then back down.

“Uh, hello to you to.” You say as you walk up. She grunts and says nothing further.

“Uhm. Sure. Look, Blake was asking about you and…”

She looks up sharply, her eyes narrowed with raw intensity, “Where is he?”

You start to sweat some. “U…uh… The uh… The carnival grounds?”

She mutters under her breath and then folds her arms under her breasts, contemplating. She doesn’t seem to notice you anymore and you cough.

“I know it’s not err… Any of my business, but what exactly are you doing?”

She glares up at you, “You’re right, it’s not any of your business.”

“Geez, fine. Here I was worried about you or something, guess you’re fine.”

You shake your head and go inside when you feel a tug on your robes.you turn about to see Tabitha’s hand grabbing your robes as she looks down, cap covering her face.

“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude, especially when you uhm…”

You stare at her. Yes, you didn’t know her well, but you had never seen her look so…demure before, and it caused noodles covered in sauce to start to leak from your pockets.

“Uh, ah, yeah, well, it’s not that I, i mean it’s fine and all, you just are… Well ah, it… It’s okay.”

She looks up at you and you can see her eyes are now pained before she lets go of your arm and turns about. “I… Thank you.” She sighs and stares up at the sky. “I was waiting for Blake to once more challenge him to a duel. After that shameful show yesterday, and my…. My exposure, I need to know if there is truly a reason for me to stay with this party any longer.”

She rolls her shoulders. “I don’t care about killing the Monster Lady, I don’t much care about this war, I just want to know if Blake… If he really is…”

Your hand seems to spasm as you sort of, kind of, a little bit, slowly… There! Place it on her shoulder. She tenses up and looks back at you, to find you smiling and only slightly twitching! She just stares at you before her mouth starts to quirk up and she quickly turns away, breaking the contact and placing a hand over her mouth as she regains her composure, shaking a little. Well shit, you didn’t mean to make her cry or anything!

It’s not long before she turns back around and takes in a deep breath. “Alright. I’m going to go back to that damned carnival and settle this.”

“Uhh… Blake is kind of exhausted, and frankly I think you are too. Not much a duel to be had there.”

She considers this for a moment and then sighs. “You have a point wizard. I suppose I’ll go ahead and go work on my form.” She somehow seems a little crestfallen, even though she put her normal mask back up.

You think of something nice to do for her and remember your enchantment earlier.

“Oh! I can enchant your clothes!”

She looks at you oddly, raising an eyebrow.

” Yeah, I can place a sigil of endurance, make them more like armor, but sill be light and easy to move in! Hell I can make it magic resistant instead or stealthy, or you know I may even be able to like uhh…” You roll your hand, “I don’t know, make your underwear hot or something.”

Your enthusiasm turns to horror as you realize what you said. “Oh..oh gods, no, I didn’t mean, look it was just a suggestion, I’m not saying that I want… I mean, you know me, wizard and…ah, sorry…”

She seems to consider something and then shrugs, “Sure, that’s fine. I think keeping my breasts and hips warm would be excellent for the cooler weather. I’ll just change and leave them outside of my door.”

You stare at her blankly as she walks into the inn. Oh. Oh dear gods what did you just do? You don’t even know a sigil of Fire! Shit. Shit shit, shit in a bucket while a grandpa watches, shit.

You groan and head up after her. You didn’t want to do this, but damn it if you didn’t want to seem flaky, even though you’re certain you already do or at least very awkward. Yay wizard…

You reach Tabitha and Veronica’s room and see no clothes out there yet. You just sort of… Look about and scratch the back of your head. Yep. Awkward. A few moments later the door opens and Tabitha places her clothing outside the door, pausing when she sees you.

Apparently she didn’t get the memo to change into something else beforehand, because she was stark naked and gods damn was her body toned, yet smooth, and you get another glimpse of her breasts before she drops the clothes and slams the door shut.

“J…just take them wizard. And tell the order woman not to leave her armor around!”

You scoop up the clothes up gently and slowly walk to your room. Oh dear, that was… Sigh, by the end of this you hope to be inured to naked women which would great because that was super awkward there. Oh well time to enchant these… Delicate white undergarments…

You set the clothes down and shudder. Ugh, let’s just… Let’s just get mentally prepared for this. With a sigh you sit down on the edge of your bed and think about where you’d find a sigil of Fire… Maybe Harmony knew?

You reach over for her and your hand brushes something on the bed. You pick it up curiously to find black, silken panties. As you stare at them, dumbfounded, you slowly crane your neck to your bed to find something vaguely human sized in the bed. As your eyes open wider in horror, Veronica sits up, nude from the waist up and yawns, rubbing at her eyes,

“Tabitha is that you?”

Very…very bad wolfgirl.

You gently put Veronica’s panties back on you bed, take a deep breath, pick up Harmony and Tabitha’s clothes, then walk over to the door, open it, and step outside.

As the door clicks shut you hear a loud, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Followed by furious footsteps and the door behind you slamming open. You don’t turn about but you can hear the rustling of your bedsheets as Veronica screams,


You. Just… Just keep on walking. As you walk past Tabitha’s room, you see her open the door and look out.

“What is all this racket abou….” She looks down the hallway and sees Veronica, naked yet covered by your sheets. Tabitha just looks back to you, then at her clothes, then back to Veronica, then slowly closes her door. Good for her.

As you just keep walking, you hear Veronica storm up after you and she places her hand on your shoulder, spinning you about to face her.

It’s obvious that Hala stripped her bare naked and the bedsheet is loosely being held to her body by her free hand, covering her front. Her face is bright red and furious as she grits her teeth and snarls, “Explain yourself, right now.”

You… Yeah you don’t really want to deal with this right now. You sigh and call to Bubs. He pops his head out of your pocket and yawns before placing a paw gently on Veronica’s hand. She stares at the rat, eyes wide, her nostrils flaring as her chest heaves. She stares back at you, then to Bubs, then slowly, ever so slowly she retracts her hand, trembling so hard her teeth chatter.

“KYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” She screams before turning around and running back into your room, exposing her backside and admittedly well toned ass. You just watch as she runs away, then shrug and go downstairs. Wizards ain’t got time for that shit, yo.

As you reach common room, you find Hala sitting there with this shit-eating grin on her face. You look her straight in the eyes, and say, “Very well then, I am not a holy man, but I will not turn down a theological debate. Jackor Vult as they say.”

Hala stares at you dumbly as you walk away. No peace anywhere, by the gods… Well, might as well find a good place to browse the communion matrix for some ideas while you wait for this shit to calm down. Probably will when Blake drags his handsome ass back of something, at least they’ll fight over him and leave you alone.

You find a quiet little bench and pull out your [Port-o-Glass] and fire it up with some mana crystals. Let’s see, the leyline in this area was… Ugh, Summonlink. Just hope you don’t get an aetherial ebb, because dropping connection sucks.

Anyway, let’s look up sigils, shall we? Hmm, here’s a list by some friendly wizards… Interesting, a sigil of rigidity, it has a very interesting sh… It’s a penis.

Okay, how about this one, sigil of hotness, which is sort of what you.. It’s also a penis.

Gods damnit, fine, what about the sigil of, ALSO A FUCKING PENIS.

You hold your head in your hands. You honestly should have expected this. You didn’t really think it would be that easy, did you? So, you sigh and do some research, and after after 30minutes of wading through dicks, you don’t quite find a sigil beyond one of fire which looks legit,but you find some theories on enchanting clothes to keep warm.

Looks like the enchantment calls for a red dye infused with ashes, peppers, and wood chips, simmered over a low fire fed with fire based magic for about three hours. It seems that it made a long lasting feeling of warmth, which would stay for a few months before it began to fade. Not the best thing in the world and it would most certainly make whatever was dyed stay red, but it was nice and warm. You really doubted Tabitha cares much about fashion anyway.

You sigh and lean back, wondering where you’re going to find this dye when an old man sits down next to you. He smiles and shakily pulls out a pipe before fumbling for a light. You snap your fingers and it comes alive, to which he stares and then slowly takes a puff.

“Thank you sir, my it is good to see a nice sorcerer every now and then.”

“Wizard.” You correct.

He chuckles and takes out the pipe. “Of course, of course.” He obviously knows not of what a wizard is. He sighs and then looks at you before holding out his pipe.

“Do you partake good wizard?”

You raise an eyebrow and shrug. “I haven’t, didn’t find much use.” Although you did promise not to drink again, so maybe another vice wouldn’t be thaaaat bad?

He offers the pipe. “Take a puff, tell me what you think?”

You slowly take the pipe and put it between your teeth and then take a slow puff before coughing and holding the pipe out to the man who starts laughing while patting your back,

“Hahaha, I remember my first time too! Ah the memories…” He helps show you the proper way to enjoy the pipe and you sort of feel like you get the hang of it. After blowing out a puff of smoke you offer the pipe back to the man who shakes his head.

“Oh ho, no, you keep it! I have more than one, and it warms my heart to see another enthusiast born.” He looks around for a moment and then pulls out a little bag of leaves, placing them in your palm before whispering, “if you really want to enjoy yourself though, take this brownleaf for a dank time.”

You stare at the man as he stretches and looks down at you. “A good evening to you sir, take good care of the pipe! And remember, smoke every day!” You watch him leave and you could swear the man had some swagger in his step… Must be your imagination.

You turn the pipe over in your hands and clench it in your teeth. Might as well enjoy this while you go looking for ingredients or something.

>You gain [pipe]

>ignore the teeth marks

>You gain [green leaf]

>A common plant leaf burned for its calming effects when smoked.

>Sort of maybe a little addictive

>You gain [Brown leaf]

>Illegal psychotropic substance known to cause hallucinations. Sort of kind of really addictive.

>The king’s guard doesn’t regulate much because they’re really fucking lazy about it.

You show your things and get moving, puffing on the pipe as you think. Ashes, peppers, and wood chips you could get at the inn, but the dye may be trickier. Might have to try tomorrow morning when everything was open. This thought makes you think about the time and you look up to see the sun setting in the sky. Hmm. Probably not time to head back yet…

You think about what to do and your mind drifts back to the carnival and the elf in the cage. She’s probably going to be forgotten and die a horrible death there and you feel that’s that utter waste. You ponder this and nod your head. Let’s see if she can’t be useful, eh?

A boring walk later, you enter the big top and find most of the fluids cleaned away, and no one is really standing around there anymore. Must have gone home to eat or something. As you approach the cage, you see the dark elf lying on her side, staring off into space. You poke her with your fing-longer named Harmony and the dark elf’s long ear twitches.

You roll your eyes and cast [Privacy barrier] before sighing, “alive, are we?”

She makes no reply and you rub at your head. “You’re going to die here, you know that, right?”

She makes no reply again beyond her ear flicking downwards. You think for a moment and then shake your head. You take harmony-longer and drag her in the dirt to form a circle around the ring and then pull out a [health potion] from your bag before placing it in the cage.

The dark elf just stares at the potion, eyes see only uncomprehending before looking back up to you.

“What kind of…torture is this?” She croaks, staring into your eyes.

“The kind where if you’re a good little girl, I’ll let you go.”


“Because I need some questions answered and a message delivered.”

She looks down at the potion, then back at you, and she slowly reaches for the vial, then tears off the cork with her teeth before drinking it down. She shudders and her eyes fly open as she stares at you and a ball of fire forms in her hand, which she tosses your way.

You don’t even move as the fire hits an invisible barrier and stops, dissipating in the cage. She stares at you openly, the down at your circle before cursing.

“Yeah, uh huh, like I was going to let you have a potion with some semen in it without taking precautions.”

You fold your arms and shake your head. “Now then, why Victoria send you here?”

She grits her teeth, “Do not speak of the lady so casually, you filth.”

You stare her down and she looks away, grumbling. She stays that way for a long while before looking back to you, “What, did you think I’d talk that easily?”

You shrug. “I guess you just want to rot there or something. Now that you’ve had. A health potion, I’m certain it’s going to be much longer and much more painful.”

Her lip curls and she growls, “It was to secure the waterway.”

You raise an eyebrow and look at her. “You were going to do this by.. What, forcing women to become monsters through this ritual of yours?”

She snorts, “Of course not. Only those chosen by Lady Victoria would have that honor. The rest would merely wallow in their lust and no longer be a threat.”

“Odd, that seems a little against Tolosh’s plan, isn’t it?”

She snarls, “The High Priestess is a pretentious crock. She believes all should be under the banner of Dollora.” The dark elf presses against the cage, teeth bared. “Only the worthy should receive that right.”

You rub your chin and pace around for a moment before shaking your head. Interesting, a division in the ranks? Could you use that to your advantage?

“Are there more little raiding parties like yours?”

She is silent.

“Oh well, guess I’ll just have to go and leave you hear or something.”

“Yes. I don’t know how many, nor which one the lady is…”

She cuts off abruptly and you look at her curiously. So Victoria was around here… That was complicated. Anyway, let’s change the subject.

“So your boss here, what was with the spider thing, why did she think that was a good idea?”

“Because, you fool, it is the greatest expression of our lady’s favor. To be granted the transformation….” She trails off, looking wistful.

“Uh huh. Okay.” You look down, thinking. So this Victoria was doing the Monster Lady’s will by attacking strategic targets, yet she was in conflict with Tolosh, the High Priestess. This… Was important news!

You look at the elf, but she obviously isn’t going to say much else, not that you needed her too. You cock your head and look at her with your [mage sight] and a <fast scan> and you find her humours easily and the font of magical reserve she has from the small amount of semen in the potion. There’s really not much else to see there, not that you expected to see anything.

“Very well then, you held up your end of the bargain, now I’ll hold up mine, on one condition.” You pull out a piece of paper and some ink form your bag, which you totally had, all the time, just not worth mentioning and you think for abit before penning a letter. As you wait for it to dry, you take a piece of broken wood on the ground and carve a tiny reindeer face in if before showing both to the dark elf.

>Insert message to Selene here

“You will deliver these to Selene.”

The dark elf stiffens and looks at you oddly. “S…Selene? The Hunter?”

“That’s right, and if I find that you didn’t deliver this message, or that you start going back to raping and killing, I will find you. Do you understand?”

She looks down at the letter, then at you, and slowly nods her head. You break your circle carefully and let her out of the cage. She tepidly steps forward and takes fhe items before shaking her head at you.

“You’re a fool.”

“And you’re wasting my time, now go,”

She shakes her head and turns to go before looking back at you with a strange expression of.. Regret? Before she quickly runs out, leaping through the night. You watch as she leaves and wonder if you did the right thing? Ah, oh well.

On your way out, you grab some fabric in piles of trash and take its with you to experiment on. You make it back to the inn in full darkness, smoking your [pipe] and you enter the inn to find it full of people who are not your party, and you head to your room to find it Veronica free. You do see a note on the table which reads, “Wizard, I am going to punch you in the morning.”

Well at least she gives realistic goals. Fucking Hala. You just shake your head and get ready to go back to sleep. You shitpost a little on the communion matrix and then fall asleep, preparing for tomorrow, where you’d get ingredients for your enchantment and you’d hit the road. It occurs to you that Tabitha currently has no clothes. Oh well, too tired to care.

Morning comes early as you wake up to pounding on your door. “Wizard!” Shouts Blake, “We’re getting ready to leave, get up!”

Alright, alright you’re awake. Again. Or something.

You spend a small modicum of time making yourself mildly presentable by tending to your beard and dusting crumbs off your robes. There, presentable! With that,you pack up your things in your handy dandy [sack of holding +1] and go off to greet the day.

As you open your door however, a fist greets you in the face and you fly backwards as Veronica stands there, fully armored and fuming. She crosses her arms as Hala stands behind her, snickering and Blake shakes his head.

“Na fug vas that fer?” You ask, rubbing at your nose. Fucking owe owww owww!

You cast cast [soothe] on yourself to stop the bleeding as you glade up at Veronica who huffs.

“You got my warning, you should have expected this, Wizard.”

“Gah, not first fucking thing in the morning.” You point Harmony at Hala, “Besides, it was that bitch who put you in my bed anyway.”

Hala looks utterly affronted, “Who, meeeeeee?” She hides behind Blake, her ears pressed to her skull as she sticks out her lower lip and gives puppy dog eyes.

Everyone just looks at her and Veronica sighs deeply, placing a mailed hand to her head.

“Oh by Solos, it was you, wasn’t it?”

Hala looks around defensively as she hides behind Blake, but just shakes his head as Veronica grabs the wolf by the ear and drags her away, kicking and screaming. You and Blake just watch the two as they leave and Blake groans.

“What am I going to do with those two?”

You lean back and rub at your healing nose. “That’s a damn good question Mr. Hero, what ARE you going to do?”

He furrows his brow and crosses his arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that this little group of ours has been a train wreck from day one. I constantly have to save everyone from their own little lusts and incompetence every time we get attacked.”

You hold up a finger, “Yes, there are times when I too have needed help, but think about it, how many times have you been ambushed or made worthless because you can’t keep your dick in your pants? How many times have I had to forcefully pull you out of your bitch in order to keep us alive?”

You sigh and shake your head. “Honestly, I don’t know if we have what it takes to defeat the Monster lady at this rate. If we can’t get our act together, we’re going to be killed, or worse, RAPED.”

Blake looks aside, gritting his teeth, “I’m only human…” He mutters.

You step up to him and slam your staff on the ground. “Yes, you are, but you’re also our damn leader. Your gods damned High Commander personally picked you for this quest, hell, he even gave you his gods damned sword!”

Blake looks down at Lionsedge and bites his lip as you continue.

“Those fucking girls look up to you. Yes, maybe they look down every now and again because they want to suck your magical cock or something,”

It isn’t, you checked.

“But you need to get your god damned head together. Make a better watch schedule, teach Hala how to use those claws, tie off that sexual frustration with Veronica, and maybe, just maybe, do so mental exercises to keep your dick. In. Your. Pants.” As you say this last part, you tap him on the chest successively harder each time.

He just stares at your finger, then back up to you and he sighs before rubbing his head. “Yeah… Yeah I… I guess you’re right. I just sort of expected… I don’t know.”

He rolls his hand, “Like the stories. You know, where the hero and his gallant band go and save the world.”

You shake your head. “And the stories never tell about how the Hero had to deal with his sexual frustrations and one really, really pissed wizard, did they?”

He smirks, “I guess not.” He stretches and nods his head resolutely. “Right then, I think I’ll go have a chat with the two of them.”

He starts walking down the stairs when he turns to you and gives you a smile worth 1000 gold coins.

“Hey, wizard?”

“…. Yeah?”

“Thanks.” He winks at you and then goes to Veronica’s room to break up a fight which is obviously occurring. You may or may not be hearing howling noises.

You rub at your nose again and shake your head. Okay, sure whatever. Maybe he would get his shit together? Probably not, but a man can dream?

Well whatever, means you had time to get your ingredients for enchanting since this probably would be a long chat. You walk past the room as Tabitha strides out, and she freezes, staring at you. You blink in shock yourself, not because you saw her, but because she was wearing a dress!

It was a light cream color that hid seemed to accentuate her green scales and she shifted uncomfortably as she pulled down on her black cap which did not go with the ensemble at all, but did happen to look kind of cute as she tried to hide her embarrassment.

“Wizard…” She growls, “are my clothes ready yet?”

You blink and look down at the clothes in your hands. “Uhh… These are really the only ones you have?”

“I LIKE THOSE CLOTHES!” She says before blushing even more furiously and looking around, then dashing to the other end of the hallway and around a corner.

You blink at her. Huh, she really puts on a tough exterior, but she’s a softy on the inside. Welp, let’s get back to business then.

It doesn’t take too long to gather your ingredients, including some nice and happy gong peppers. You go head and head back to the inn and pull out a cauldron, one of the ingredients you picked up for enchanting back at the Hero’s Hall.

You place all the ingredients inside carefully, mixing it into the dye and keeping up a nice, even heat channeling through Harmony who hummed the whole time. Looks like when you don’t have uh… Lungs, you can sing non-stop. Bubs just slept in your pocket while you went through the process.

After exactly three hours, he popped up in your pocket. “Boss, it’s done.”

“That’s really creepy that you’re so good at keeping time.”

“Eh.” Is all he says before falling back asleep. Aww you kind of missed the magic rat routine. Oh well, time to check how your mix looked.

You careful dip a piece of scrap fabric into the dye and pull it out, letting it sit for abit before touching it and finding that it was pleasantly warm. For a second there, you thought that it would be like, scorching hot or something, but no, no this should work. You were the best wizard ever.

Anyway, you dip her undergarments, which you feel really weird about still, in the mix and they come out a bright red. As they dry, you spend the time working the [sigil of endurance] on her jacket in with the dye. It seems to fizzle a little when you finish the sigil and it pops briefly before fading from sight.

You feel the jacket and find it to be mildly warm as well as durable. Well ain’t that a kick in the teeth?

As you finish with Tabitha’s clothing you see Blake come down the stairs, and he notices you, nodding his head.

“I talked to them, calmed them down a little, set some guidelines.”

“You’re sure you didn’t just have Hala suck you off, right?”

“No I did not…ugh…” He shakes his head. “Look, let’s just hit the road. It’s a long trip to Cair.”

“Long as in…?”

“About 5 days if we make decent pace, maybe 4.”


He pats you on the back. “It’s okay, I’m sure we’ll only come to mortal peril a few times.”


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