Two traveling merchants were walking down their usual path when one spotted something just off of the road. His curiosity had bested his apathy once again and thus Kaze’s Danuki wife, Akiyo, looked to see him walking off away from her.
“Did you find something?” she asked as Kaze picked up the object that got his attention. ‘It’s a little brick? The thing fits into the palm of my hand.’ Kaze thought to himself.
Walking over to his wife, Kaze asked her if she knows what it is. The Danuki grabs it from her husband’s hand and makes her own inspection. “Dear, I haven’t the slightest idea what it is… but it looks very important and incredibly valuable!”
Well actually it was only worth about 15 dollars and it was bought on sale at For Your Enjoyment but, ahh shite I’m getting off track! Uhh sorry about that. anyways back to the story.
Neither Kaze nor his wife, Akiyo knew what that strange little brick was. Much less what it is intended for or even what the damn thing is made of. She accidentally presses one of the odd little runes on the brick shaped like a triangle. “ROTSEE CADENCE! ROTSEE CADENCE! I WANNA HEAR YOU SOUND OFF!” The brick started to shout. This startled Akiyo and she nearly dropped it.
Kaze loved Akiyo. He affectionately called her his merchant of love. That did not stop him from thinking she just brought about their deaths. “Honey, what are you doing? You are going to get us killed!” He shouted at her with fear in his voice.
Both merchants thought that harmless little digital recorder was going to strike them dead in righteous anger. The two were going back and forth trying to figure out what to do even as the recorder continued on blathering conversations from months prior. This continued right up until Kaze and Akiyo heard cries of agony.
“OhgoddammittoHELL!” the voice screamed with fury and pain. Two peddlers, who were afraid the recorder would kill them, sat in the road and listened intently to a plastic brick. The part of the recording they listened to after that is as fallows:
“This is Corporal Tyler Emond, United States Army, 35th Logistical Corps. I was in the Kingdom of Jordan helping with food and medicine for the Syrian refugees as part of Operation: Good Will Tour.”
Tyler paused to catch his breath. “Unless I am horribly mistaken, I am no longer in Jordan, Israel or, Ha, not even the good old Commonwealth of Virginia. No giant mushrooms the size of trees back home.” The Corporal let out a hiss from the pain.
“My leg is broken and I think it’s been a day since I woke up here.” He lets out a groan from the frustration and anger. “When was that fucking good witch supposed to show up to help?!” Tyler lets go of a sigh and brings his anger under control.
“Look, if anyone finds this then please contact the U.S. Embassy in Jordan and let them know what happened to me. Hunger got the better of me and I ate the rations that were meant for the Syrians, Sorry First Sergeant, If you ever find this that is…” He tails off and goes silent for a moment. “Crazy as it sounds, I don’t think I’m on Earth anymore~”
“Hey there big guy, welcome to Wonderland!” the sultry female voice calls out and Cpl. Emond sounds relived. “Oh thank the Lord, Hello! Wherever you are can you help me? I seriously need help!.. Hello? Are you there?” A second later, the woman’s voice came back over the recorder. “I’m. Right… Here!”
You and your wife heard what you assume to be Emond getting pounced on by the woman just before he let out a scream. However his sounds of agony were short lived and silence soon fell.
“Hey don’t fall asleep! It’s not fair to leave me to do all the fun work!” the bodiless voice yells at Emond in a pouty voice. “Are you listening? Wait what’s this wet stuff? Hey you are bleeding!” Fear takes control of the woman’s voice. “And your… you uhh g-got a bone sticking out of y-your…” After that the merchant duo hear what they assume to be the woman faint and keel over onto the recorder.
And there they were. A Danuki/Human merchant couple standing there dumbfounded and speechless as both stared down at a small brick. Kaze broke the silence by taking the recorder and sticking it in with the rest of their collective wears. “Hey, we should get going.” She slowly nodded her agreement and both continued on their way.
Getting worked up about the recording really wouldn’t have helped. Wonderland was a realm of it’s own and difficult to get to. Not to mention neither Kaze nor Akiyo had ever heard of a Kingdom of Jordan nor the ‘United States’ so they both try to shrug the incident out of their minds as much as possible and carry on with the journey.