Spotter

Snow. Snow everywhere was all David could see as he peeked through the blinds of his window. Not just on the ground, the road, the roofs of houses, but falling from the sky fast and heavy in the form of a blizzard. Most people who were greeted by this sight upon waking would feel their day ruined before it even started. Not for David though.

Between the shitty weather and the fact that it’s Sunday, almost no one is going to make it to the gym today. Perfect, he thought gleefully.

Normally, he didn’t mind the gym being busy, but due to his former gym being demolished by a tornado, rumored to have been caused by a Ryu, he was forced to attend a new gym. A gym owned by mamono, named Passion Fitness. This gym had quite a few mamono in it compared to the gym he used to go to, all of which were quite sociable and flirtatious, to the point of downright annoyance.

Almost all of the other male gym members loved the attention they got from the mamono and reciprocated. David knew better however; every single man that let himself fall for their advances and started a relationship was never seen in the iron paradise again. He had seen a few of them outside the gym though and they seemed… Happy… Complete. He chalked it up to some mamono magic bullshit.

That wouldn’t happen to him though; he’d been lifting and dieting religiously for five years now and had come too far to be abandon this part of his life he so desperately needed.

Not going to make it if you let some gains goblin stop you from going to the gym so you can spend time with her, he mused wryly to himself.

He had learned to adapt to the relatively recent appearance of mamono en masse, such as not allowing perverse thoughts take root in his mind for even a second, and to not even glance at mamono, since they would instantly know no matter what. Wearing an Order™ ring engineered to repel demonic energy and hide his spirit energy also helped out tremendously.

Pulling himself from his stupor, he set about getting dressed, baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt, nothing too revealing. After grabbing his gym bag, he walked out the front door, into the blizzard and got into his luxurious 1996 Honda Civic, before promptly, yet carefully, making the short drive to Passion Fitness.

Arriving without incident, David walked through the front doors, handed his key card to the receptionist, a kikimora by the name of Jen, retrieved it, and made his way to the locker rooms. He was glad they hired a kikimora as the receptionist; she was too timid to flirt or start small talk with him. Not to say she didn’t have plenty of other guys hitting on her; she was cute after all.

Wait, cute? Why would I think of her like that? David pondered as he walked through the locker rooms, which were unfortunately for him, co-ed. Figures, considering the gym was owned by mamono and a law recently passed allowing establishments to have co-ed locker rooms and restrooms if they so desired. Then suddenly, it hit him.

The Order™ ring! I forgot it! Shit, I kind of need it, but I REALLY don’t want to drive back home through that blizzard for it. There’s no one here today anyway, I can make it today without it- He was pulled from his rationalization by the last thing he needed to see right now.

A perfect, firm, round and toned ass and a pair of inviting lips just barely visible, belonging to a hellhound who was bent over, tail lifted, stepping into a pair of compression shorts. Not just any hellhound either, this particular hellhound was Sarah, one of the personal trainers at Passion Fitness.

She often worked out at the same time as David, and so they ended up interacting every day in some form or another, whether it be one of them asking for a spot from the other, or just conversing about fitness. Unlike most mamono, David didn’t find her particularly annoying; she didn’t flirt as often as most would, but that could simply because she was trying to remain professional at her place of work.

Any other day he would’ve been able to resist and had done so in this same scenario before, but today, without his Order™ ring, he couldn’t help but glance directly at her ass as she stood upright and fit it into her compression shorts. He realized his mistake as soon as he made it, he instantly averted his eyes as he was still walking, about to round a corner, but it was too late.

Sarah turned around and made eye contact with him. He was still able to resist eyeing her up and down before meeting her gaze directly. It was a bit difficult, given she was still topless, her perky, just barely D cup breasts on full display.

He couldn’t help take better note of her entire body this time. She stood about four inches taller that David, and she was somewhat muscular. In fact, if she were the same height as him with the same amount of lean mass she has now, she’d be close to as muscular as him. This was still only second to her feminine features; wide hips, narrow waist by comparison, and breasts almost as beautiful as her face.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite manlet admiring my glutes!” Sarah said with a knowing smirk. She also enjoyed teasing him.

Yet David would match her blow for blow.

“Those weak things? Not a chance,” He retorted, matching her smirk as he walked past her and opened a locker door.

“If my glutes are so weak, why do I deadlift more than you?”

Or at least, he would try to match her blow for blow.

“Oh come on, you know that demonic energy bullshit is worse than steroids when it comes to strength,” He replied as he reached into his gym bag, looking for his pre-workout and one of his shaker bottles.

Truth be told it was, and she knew it, and nothing could be done about it, but she still gave him shit despite it.

“Hey it’s alright, I would say the same thing in your shoes. If it makes you feel any better, your ass is almost as nice as mine,” She said mockingly, which gave him an earnest chuckle, and as a result, her as well.

“Fuck!” David exclaimed under his breath. He forgot his pre-workout. Today would’ve been a good day, had he not forgotten so many essentials.

“What’s up?” Sarah asked curiously as she finally slipped on her sports bra.

“I forgot my pre-workout. Guess I’ll have to do without, because I’m not driving home in that blizzard just to get it,” he explained.

“I have some in my bag. Here, give me your bottle and I’ll put some in it,” she offered.

Won’t be the same as my pre, but it’s better than nothing at this point, David concluded to himself, and handed her his empty shaker bottle before turning to stuff his bag into his locker.

After locking his locker, David turned around and waited for Sarah to finish pouring a scoop of pre-workout into his bottle. He saw her opening up a second supplement bottle and scoop some of it’s contents out into the bottle.

“What’s that other supplement you’re giving me?” He asked inquisitively.

“Oh, it’s creatine; the pre-workout itself doesn’t have it,” She explained quickly.

Odd, I could’ve sworn I remember her once complaining about brands who didn’t add creatine into their pre-workouts. Maybe she’s changed her opinion on the matter?

David was pulled from his thoughts when Sarah returned his shaker bottle, to which he thanked her and went to the bathroom to fill his bottle with water. On his way there, he peeked into it to see an orange pile of powder, the pre-workout, likely pineapple mango flavor, and on top of it, a smaller blackish blue pile of powder.

That’s definitely weird. Never seen creatine that color. Whatever, today is off to a bad start anyways, no use overthinking everything now, David thought as his filled his shaker bottle, shook it, then started to down it’s contents. He was right about the pineapple mango flavor, but it also tasted slightly… Spicy?

I like pineapple mango, but that hint of spice makes it pretty weird, He pondered in between gulps. He replaced the empty bottle with more water before leaving the bathroom. His preparation ritual complete, he opted out of returning to his locker to waste time on small talk with Sarah and left the locker room.

Still not a single soul on the weight floor, David made his way to his favorite squat rack in the corner. His warm up set of squats went by without a hitch, by the time he got to his first working set, he felt the familiar itch caused by the beta-alanine present in virtually all pre-workouts, accompanied by the mental and physical rush of caffeine. He even felt a bit warm, of all things, much to his surprise.

This first working set went by quite smoothly, even a bit more easily than he was expecting, much to his dismay. It wasn’t exhausting enough to give him the rush he learned to appreciate from a heavy set of squats.

Some pre-workout, David wondered, Hell, I might as well go for twelve reps instead of ten on these last two sets, since this first one was so easy.

Committing himself to his sudden change in plans, he managed to get the second set done with the extra two reps added in, which proved closer to his limit and gave him the satisfaction he wanted. This last set would definitely be as exerting as he’d hoped for. Placing his hand on the bar to get under it for his last set, he saw Sarah finally emerge from the locker rooms and upon seeing David about to unrack, made a beeline straight for him.

He proceeded to unrack the bar, knowing she would make it in time. This had become something of an unspoken agreement, where Sarah would spot David for his last set of squats. Since he refused to drop weight or reps, this often resulted in minor breakdown of form and having to grind out the last few reps, so he didn’t mind the spot in the least.

He finished his seventh rep before Sarah made it to him while he paused at the top to get a couple of breaths, and got in position, close behind him, closer than usual actually; he could feel her breasts on his back, and placed her paws on his torso, just below his pecs. Unlike every time before now, and despite his exhaustion, this actually gave him a brief pause; everywhere she was in physical contact with him felt.. electric, invigorating! He even caught a whiff of her scent and it was simply intoxicating for some reason-

“This weight isn’t going to squat itself ya know,” Sarah said suddenly, forcing David to regain his focus before continuing his set. The last five reps went by easier with Sarah spotting him. She didn’t provide any more upward pressure on his torso than necessary, but he trusted her completely as a spotter, which helped him commit fully to each rep.

With a great deal of effort, he finished his set and reracked the weight.

“Good job! I didn’t even help much at all, and unless I’m mistaken, you got a few extra reps in,” Sarah complimented him as she gave him a firm pat right on his butt. This was a first and caught him completely off guard, sending a jolt through his loins. He was pretty sure she even had a quick squeeze while she was there!

“Heh, t-thanks,” David stuttered nervously, which earned him a mischevious grin from Sarah.

“You can leave the weight on the bar; I’ll be using it,” She explained, as David hurried out of the squat rack before she noticed his penis becoming semi-erect in his jogger pants.

This is absurd! I can’t believe I’m behaving like some teenager, it’s like I’ve no self control! There’s no way that Order™ ring has THAT much of an effect, does it? I need to finish this workout quickly and leave before Sarah gets the wrong idea and makes a move on me, David thought frantically as he made his way over to a bench.

No. I can control myself for the rest of this workout, besides, that was the only physical contact her and I will have. I’m not rushing the remainder of my workout just to run from her, He rationalized finally as he started to put weight on the bar for his warm up sets.

His first working set went as smoothly and easily as his first set of squats did, so he decided to go for one extra rep on his last two sets. While he rested before his second set, he noticed Sarah in the power rack deadlifting 455 for sets of five.

Mamono strength is ridiculous; my one rep max is what she uses for working sets, David thought, still as amazed as the first time he saw her do that. This time, she seemed to struggle a bit more than usual, must be an off day for her.

As he watched her finish her set, he couldn’t help but end up staring at her ass. God, he never realized how truly perfect it was. He soon felt like someone was watching him and realized it was Sarah watching him, through the mirror, as he checked her out. Their eyes met through the reflection and she gave him a knowing smirk, which made him quickly look away, embarrassed.

Attempting to play it off, he leaned back onto the bench and found the knurling marks, preparing himself for his second set. Just before he was about to lift off, Sarah was standing above him, paws on the bar, ready to help with the lift off.

“Hey I’m good, I don’t need a spot, this is only my second set,” David said quickly. Truthfully, he’d rather she not spot him even for his third set, given the effect she was having on his self control and libido.

“Yes you do. This is the most dangerous lift of the big three, especially since you taxed yourself so hard on squats, and you’ve put clips on the bar, so you can’t dump the weights off the side if you have to. I’m not going to risk you dropping this on your neck,” She replied sternly. She wasn’t taking no for an answer, which David admittedly found somewhat relieving for the sake of safety.

He tensed his body up and gave her the nod, she helped with the lift off. Paws still on the bar, she then proceeded to stand much closer than usual when spotting. In fact, her crotch was directly above his face by mere inches.

Bah, too late to go back now, he thought as he started his set. As he was working through the last four reps, he caught a strong whiff of Sarah’s crotch, and it gave him the best rush of his life. Earlier during squats, he thought her scent was intoxicating. He was completely wrong, THIS, was truly intoxicating, he never knew a smell like this existed. He was so wrapped up in it that he didn’t realize he put two more reps in than he originally intended.

Reracking the weight, he quickly sat up and leaned forward to hide the raging erection that he was quickly acquiring.

“Wow, you’re on a roll today David, banging out more reps than I’ve ever seen you do with this much weight,” Sarah remarked.

“Yeah, I think it’s that pre-workout you gave me,” he replied, somehow managing to not stutter this time, yet a hint of nervousness remained in his voice.

“Mhm, I love it. Let me know when you’re about to do your last set,” Sarah said in a slightly suggestive tone as she walked over back to the power rack, letting her hips sway with each step, which David somehow managed to ignore, though some small part of him wish he simply gawked.

Deciding to avoid temptation altogether, he turned himself so he sat sideways on the bench away from Sarah, and pretended to be doing something on his phone. As his rest time drew to a close, Sarah came up and sat close beside him on the bench, very close, enough so that he was able to smell her scent easily.

“Hey, so I read this study online last night,” She began, leaning in a bit closer than completely necessary, “that if a woman sits in a mans lap when he’s bench pressing, his testosterone levels will increase twice as high as they would from a normal bench press,” She paused, “so I was thinking, in order to help you out, I could sit in your lap for this last set-”

“Nope, not happening,” David answered quickly as he stood up to walk away. No way this was happening, if it did, one thing would lead to another and they’d be a couple. That means his lifting career would be dead and he’d never feel the joy of squatting again. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, to not be alone, even if only briefly.

“Oh come on, this is to help you! Besides, I can still spot you just fine from your lap, and it’ll stop you that bad habit you have of lifting your hips off the bench,” Sarah retorted, grabbing his arm to stop him, causing him to turn and look at her. She had a sultry look on her face, but in her eyes, David thought he saw a bit of determination, and even a hint of… Desperation? It was hard to tell, truth be told, he could not, with certainty, describe in words the look in her eyes. Despite the voice of reason in his mind yelling at him not to, she managed to persuade him to sit back down.

“Okay, fine,” David said reluctantly. Sarah’s face lit up as she stood up and allowed David to lie back on the bench. Once he was in position, the balls of his feet almost under his hips, back arched, and hands on the bar, she straddled him without actually sitting down and placed her paws on the bar, just inside of where his hands were, in a supinated grip.

Nodding his head, she helped him a surprising amount with the liftoff, given her unorthodox position. Once the bar was directly over his chest, all in one quick motion, she leaned back into an posterior pelvic tilt just above his crotch, dropped down and used her ass to scoop his dick up through his sweatpants and flipped it over so the underside was directly against her nether regions when she corrected her hips and sat down firmly on it.

Needless to say, this was entirely unexpected and caught David entirely off guard. It made his cock twitch violently and his entire body shudder as his dick was instantly starting to become hard underneath her. Even through four layers of clothing, probably three since Sarah likely wasn’t wearing panties, he could feel the intense heat from her snatch on his member.

All of this together made David’s arms relax and lose lockout, causing the weight to drop down to his chest prematurely. Sarah noticed and instantly curled it upwards just as David regained himself and started pushing simultaneously, narrowly avoiding the weight bouncing off his chest far more forcefully than necessary.

“Easy there, this is supposed to be me spotting you for bench, not you spotting me for curls,” Sarah jibed as he pressed the weight up for his first rep, unable to respond. As he neared the end of his set, he noticed it felt easier than he expected, but he also noticed something else. Moisture seeping from Sarah crotch through his sweatpants and onto his now fully erect cock.

“Come on, AMRAP it!” Sarah commanded, realizing this next rep would otherwise be his last. The voice of logic in David’s mind told him no, but it was quiet, nearly drowned out by his rising libido and the burning desire to push himself past his limit. So with that, he went past the point of no return and decided to get as many reps as he possibly could.

One. Two. Three more reps with only minor assistance from Sarah. He knew he couldn’t get another one entirely on his own, but Sarah was here and would help him with this last rep, so after a deep breath while still at lockout, he went for it.

He pressed with all his might, through all the exhaustion, and oh, how exhilarating it was. Almost halfway up he met his sticking point and hovered there, barely making any more progress. He started to feel the resistance increase and noticed Sarah’s biceps had relaxed and instead her triceps had contracted, bringing the weight slowly back down to rest on his chest.

“Hey, what gives!?” David demanded as he looked at her, and saw on her face the most sultry look he could imagine a mamono possibly having.

“Oh how long I’ve waited for this,” she responded, leaning forward, bringing her face closer to his, causing his face to turn red as a beet, “I’m not sure what turns me on the most, that look of exhaustion on your face earlier, the look of helplessness on your face now, or that cute blush of yours” as she briefly brushed her lips against his in a teasing kiss, pulling back when he tried to return it.

“You can’t do this! Not here in the middle of the gym! What if someone sees us!?” David pleaded, still able to feel where they had barely kissed.

“Oh please, no one else is going to come in before we’re finished,” she reassured him as she took her paws off the bar, “be a dear and hold that for a moment,” before standing up and stepping back to yank David pants and boxers off in one fell swoop.

This was his chance! David pressed with all his might, he got to his sticking point and tried to grind through it. Alas, after four exhausting seconds without the weight moving, it finally made it’s descent back down to his chest.

“Aw, how cute. Nice try, but I’ve waited far too long to catch you without that silly ring to be denied now,” Sarah said smugly as she quickly took off her sports bra and visibly soaked compression shorts, before plopping back down in his lap and pressing her snatch against David’s diamond hard cock, sending a wave of pleasure through his body, and hers as well.

“Good to see that Raging Mushroom™ did the trick,” Sarah commented, grabbing his cock in one of her paws, lining the head with her hole.

“Raging Mushroom?” David asked, trying to remember where he had heard of that before.

“It was that ‘creatine’ I gave you. Increases your libido and stamina. If you take enough of it, you can and will overpower a mamono to take advantage of her. Of course, I didn’t give you THAT much. Just enough to get you in the mood,” Sarah explained before slowly pressing her drooling snatch down onto his phallus, enveloping the head.

Whatever David was going to say, he lost it as his body was wracked by overwhelming pleasure as he found himself entering her hot, tight pussy. It literally could not have been any hotter or tighter without becoming painful. They both groaned as she finished enveloping the entire length of his member inside her slick walls. She replaced her hands on the bar to provide assistance, much to David’s relief.

Finally comfortable, Sarah brought her hips up and slammed them back down, sending cascading shockwaves of pleasure throughout their entire bodies. They both began panting and moaning as she continued riding him relentlessly. Having lost all reluctance and inhibitions, David began thrusting his hips upwards each time she brought herself down on him. This only caused Sarah to quicken her pace, and therefore, how close they were to climax.

David however, was getting there faster than she. It’s a wonder he had lasted this long at all; it’d had been months since he’d had any form of orgasm. Refusing to let himself finish too quickly for her, he came up with an idea. A gambit really. He’d noticed that Sarah had closed her eyes and had laxed her grip on the bar still pinning him. Despite her… preoccupation with fucking his brains out, David still trusted Sarah completely as a spotter.

So, with a leap of faith, he completely removed his hands from the bar, causing it to slip from Sarah’s paws. She opened her eyes and saw the bar rolling slowly down David’s chest towards his neck. With a look of pure terror on her face she lurched forward off of his member, caught the bar, and lifted it up mere inches before it crushed his neck.

“YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED!?” She yelled as she reracked the bar. As she was doing this, David quickly placed his hands on her ass to push himself down the bench, placing his face directly beneath her dripping wet pussy. He then moved his hands to the tops of her thighs and pulled down as hard as he could.

Due to her strong legs, instead of pulling her down, he instead pulled his face up to her wet lips. Not the desired outcome, but nonetheless, he plunged his tongue inside of her, exploring her depths. As she gasped at the sudden change, realization hit Sarah, and she lowered herself down to sit on David’s face.

“I cannot believe you just did that you little shit,” she said with a giggle as she placed her paws on the top of his head and started grinding into him, “but you won’t do anything stupid like that again,” she finished, leaving no room for argument.

David twisted, turned, and extended his tongue inside of her in every way imaginable. He would sometimes remove his tongue when he had the chance to simulate her clitoral hood by kissing it firmly, before returning to her hole. She was going crazy from all the stimulation, moaning loadly and grinding harder and harder into David’s face. He finally moved his tongue upwards to her G-spot and massaged it with circular motions of his tongue as he moaned into her. This earned him a squeal from her as she grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and paused her grinding to let him do his thing.

Mere seconds before she reached climax, she stood up with a shudder, stepped back, and grabbed David’s sweatshirt at the waist and near the collar, picking up him and placing him gently on the ground, before pulling it off him and mounting him.

Sarah wasted no time grabbing his cock and shoving it inside her again, immediately bouncing up and down at the same pace she was when they were on the bench, causing the sound of wet flesh smacking together to resonate through the gym. David held her by the hips as he tried his best to delay his looming orgasm until she was ready.

She was getting close too; she leaned forward onto her elbows for a better angle on his phallus, giving David a face full of her ample bosom. He brought one hand up to stick one of her nipples in his lips and pinched down on it, while he moved his other hand to her clit and rubbed it with his thumb. Sarah moaned loudly in response and went into a frenzied pace, assaulting both their bodies with mind-numbing pleasure.

David quickly approaching his orgasm and there was no stopping it. With no turning back now, he removed his lips from Sarah’s nipple, wrapped one hand around her neck and brought her down into a deep, passionate kiss, exploring her mouth, and she his.

Seconds later, his body was wracked with pleasure and he convulsed and moaned loudly into Sarah’s mouth as he experienced the best orgasm of his life. He shot rope after rope, after rope of hot, thick semen inside Sarah as she continued riding him. This must’ve sent her over the edge because she then convulsed and moaned into his mouth as she stopped her bouncing and instead hilted him into her, contracting and squeezing his cock of every lost drop of cum, before she squirted a copious amount of sex juices onto his crotch.

They convulsed, shuddered and moaned while they remained locked at their crotches and mouths. After what felt like an eternity, their orgasms subsided, and Sarah broke the kiss.

“Heh, that was everything I wanted and then some,” she cooed softly, “looks like you had a good time too,” as she continued to hump him, slowly and gently though, so as to not cause too much discomfort to his still sensitive penis.

“Yeah,” was all David could muster, still overwhelmed and exhausted at all that happened. He’d fallen for her completely. He didn’t regret this, he was glad it happened, but in the back of his mind he had a trepidation. It was only a matter of time before Sarah stopped working out and made him skip workouts too just so they could spend more time together, and he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to say no.

“This is just the first of many,” she said as she gave him a peck on the lips, “but we need to clean ourselves up so we can finish our actual workout,” she said as she stood up and helped David up to his feet.

Just as quickly as the fear that Sarah would inadvertently take his passion from him had formed, she shattered that fear into a million pieces. It brought tears of joy to David’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned, noticing his eyes welling up.

“Nothing, I’m just really glad you said that,” David explained, wiping his eyes, “come on, let’s go,” he continued as they picked up their clothes and walked together to the locker rooms.

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One thought on “Spotter”

  1. Saw you post the link to this in the discord and thought I’d give it a read. I’ll be writing up critique and corrections as I go. As much as I want to go through this line-by-line, I’ll ignore some things and focus on the more noticeable problems I find. Buckle up, because this is probably the only actual criticism you’ll get in this damn place.

    — “Not just on the ground, the road, the roofs of houses, but falling from the sky fast and heavy in the form of a blizzard.”
    -This sentence feels awkward. If you don’t want to split it into two sentences, try something like, “The blizzard blew snow fast and heavy, blanketing the ground, the road, and the rooftops.”

    — “Between the shitty weather and the fact that it’s Sunday, almost no one is going to make it to the gym today. Perfect, he thought gleefully.”
    -So, I skipped ahead to see how often you do this italics internal monologue thing, and I think you actually wanted to write this in 1st-person instead of 3rd-person. We get word-for-word thoughts from David so frequently it might as well be 1st-person, so switching from his direct-to-print thoughts to regular 3rd-person description is jarring and breaks the flow of things.

    — “A gym owned by mamono”
    -Oh, no. That word. Just my personal beef with the writing on TFT in general, but I think that everyone needs to break away from KC’s dumb setting. Yes, he’s popular. Yes, he does the epig monster girl profiles. But that shouldn’t dictate how you write/imagine/create your monster girls. I’ll try not to mention my dislike for KC’s stuff from here on, though. Also, using “mamono” makes you sound like a weeb.

    — “That wouldn’t happen to him though”
    >tags are femdom, cunnilingus, lewd, smut, etc.
    This is why I think tags should be at the end of a given story. For all the reader could’ve known, David might have had the fortitude to defy convention and deflected the girls’ advances in favor of sick gains. But nah, the tags give it away.

    — “he mused wryly to himself.”
    -To muse usually means to think to yourself, so delete “to himself” and it’ll be cleaner.

    — “such as not allowing perverse thoughts take root in his mind for even a second”
    -Immersion shattered

    — “After grabbing his gym bag, he walked out the front door, into the blizzard and got into his luxurious 1996 Honda Civic, before promptly, yet carefully, making the short drive to Passion Fitness.”
    -The commas in this sentence are a mess. Try this: “After grabbing his gym bag, he walked out the door into the blizzard, got into his luxurious 1996 Honda Civic, and promptly— yet carefully— made the short drive to Passion Fitness.” Though I would replace “promptly” with “quickly,” since being prompt is closer to “done immediately/without delay,” not necessarily with haste. “Quickly” means with great speed, but great speed can also lead to mistakes, warranting the addition of “yet carefully” in this sentence and “without incident” in the next paragraph.

    — “Arriving without incident, David walked through the front doors, handed his key card to the receptionist, a kikimora by the name of Jen, retrieved it, and made his way to the locker rooms.”
    -This sentence is also messy. It might be worth splitting into two sentences to avoid clutter, but if you want it to stay as one then it’ll need revision. “Retrieved it” also feels misplaced. Did you mean that Jen retrieve his key card from him? That doesn’t really sound right.

    — “He was glad they hired a kikimora as the receptionist; she was too timid to flirt or start small talk with him. Not to say she didn’t have plenty of other guys hitting on her; she was cute after all.”
    -The second semicolon in this paragraph feels like excessive semicolon use. The first one works fine, but the second should probably be reworked. To put more emphasis on the minor revelation that he thought she was cute, end the second sentence with “…hitting on her.” and make the last sentence something like, “After all, she was pretty cute.”

    — “a law recently passed allowing establishments to have co-ed locker rooms and restrooms if they so desired.”
    -Why, tho? That sounds like a weird law to be passed unless a specific monster politician pushed it. Might be a fun detail to add. “Can’t believe that succubus got that law passed. Everyone knows she slept her way to the top!”

    — “I can make it today without it- He was pulled from etc.”
    -to make a proper m-dash for interruptions like that, use Alt+0151.

    — “the last thing he needed to see right now. / A perfect, firm, round and toned ass and a pair of inviting lips just barely visible, belonging to a hellhound who was bent over, tail lifted, stepping into a pair of compression shorts.”
    -Second sentence here is another strange one. I feel like you’re trying to make overly long sentences without the ability to wrangle all the moving parts they have. If you haven’t yet, try thumbing through some grammar books like Elements of Style to get a better handle on longer sentences.

    — “She stood about four inches taller that David”
    -Did he get a measuring stick for that? We don’t need such precise measurements. “A few inches taller” or something similar would do. Although, we don’t know how tall David is, so we can’t tell if she’s a giant or if he’s short.

    — “This was still only second to her feminine features; ”
    -Use a colon (:) instead of a semicolon (;) here, since a colon is used to present a list, which you provide afterwards.

    — “if it isn’t my favorite manlet ”
    -I’m not sure if this tells us that David is actually short, or if she’s just being mean and hurtful and totally not making me feel so attacked right now.

    — “She also enjoyed teasing him. / Yet David would match her blow for blow. / etc. etc. Or at least, he would try to match her blow for blow.”
    -These aren’t needed, since we can see this dynamic well enough through their dialogue. I know everyone and their dog says it, but: show, don’t tell.

    — ““words words,” she offered.”
    -Try not to use unnecessary words for dialogue tags like “offered,” “argued,” and “apologised.” These are usually self-evident during dialogue, since her offer is spelled out plain and simple enough already. Also, since we already know who the speakers are in this scene, we don’t really need a reminder of who is talking.

    — “On his way there, he peeked into it to see an orange pile of powder, the pre-workout, likely pineapple mango flavor, and on top of it, a smaller blackish blue pile of powder.”
    -Another messy one. It isn’t a crime to break up thoughts into multiple sentences, so don’t feel compelled to write long sentences instead.

    — “I like pineapple mango, but that hint of spice makes it pretty weird, He pondered in between gulps.”
    -If you insist on punctuating his thoughts as if they were dialogue, then you need to punctuate it correctly. When dialogue ends with a comma to continue the sentence (“He said this,” he said.) then the “she/he” of the continued part does not need to be capitalized. So, “He pondered” should be “he pondered.”

    — “He was pretty sure she even had a quick squeeze while she was there!”
    -It’s usually best not to add exclamation marks (!) unless things are written in 1st-person. A neutral narrator wouldn’t add its own personal excitement to the description. It’s fine and unnoticeable if you do it every now and then, but don’t overuse exclamation marks.

    — “Sarah complimented”
    — “She explained”
    — “He rationalized”
    -Again, try to get out of the habit of using these after dialogue. It can feel repetitive, since dialogue more or less explains itself.

    — ““Yes you do. This is the most dangerous lift of the big three, especially since you taxed yourself so hard on squats, and you’ve put clips on the bar, so you can’t dump the weights off the side if you have to. I’m not going to risk you dropping this on your neck,” She replied sternly.”
    -This bit of dialogue is pretty long, so having “she replied” at the end feels awkward. For long, multi-sentence blocks of dialogue like this, try something like:
    ”Yes you do,” she said sternly. “This is the most dangerous blah blah blah.”

    — “As his rest time drew to a close, Sarah came up and sat close beside him on the bench, very close, enough so that he was able to smell her scent easily.”
    -You want her sitting next to him to be a surprise, so end the first half of this at “bench.” And “Very close” can be its own sentence. A revised version might look something like:
    “Sarah came up and sat close beside him. Very Close. Close enough that we could easily pick up her scent.”
    -Like I said, using shorter sentences isn’t a crime.

    — “…in her eyes, David thought he saw a bit of determination, and even a hint of… Desperation?”
    -If you insist on using ellipses (…) here for a dramatic pause, then you don’t need to capitalize “Desperation,” since it is still part of the sentence preceding the ellipses.

    — “It was hard to tell, truth be told, he could not, with certainty, describe in words the look in her eyes.”
    -Again, you can easily break this up into two smaller sentences, and it would be much clearer. All you have to do is slap a period after “hard to tell.”

    — “… the most sultry look he could imagine a mamono possibly having.”
    -There’s that “mamono” word again. You were doing very well, too.

    — ““YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED!?””
    -Never use all caps. If anything, italics and exclamation marks get the job done just fine.

    — “stimulate her clitoral hood”
    — “massaged it with circular motions”
    -Getting a little technical here. Keep the passion, lose the geometry.

    — ““looks like you had a good time too,” as she continued to hump him”
    -Damn dogs, always humping guys’ legs, I swear.

    — “He’d fallen for her completely.”
    -Hey, let’s not get hasty. She basically drugged him and raped him until he said “yes.” Just because he saw her occasionally and ended up fucking her doesn’t imply a relationship, even in KC Land. He should be calling the cops right now, honestly. Then again, this is KC Land, so all rape is “good rape” and all rape leads to happy marriages. Meh.

    Overall, this was a nice little one-shot. David had a hilariously one-track mind on getting sick gainz, but I would’ve appreciated it if he put up a little more fight before taking the plunge. Sarah was k. Fairly standard monster girl personality of a lusty, flirtatious sweetheart. Her being fit was a plus. Too bad about the rape, though.

    My advice it to work on your sentence structure and choose a narrative perspective that fits better for your style. If you like writing the main character’s thoughts directly like this, then I think 1st-person would be a better fit for that.

    Good luck on your future work!

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