It was another busy day at work today as he pulled into the driveway ready for a night of bathing, eating and sleeping when he noticed that the place seemed darker than usual. A look on his watch and the position of the sun told him that it should not be this dark this early. It wasn’t something one would usually notice but he did and it brought a scowl to his face as he stomped towards the house and opened the door to see a familiar sight.
“Alright that’s it!” he shouted taking off his coat “I’m sick and tired of coming home to you lounging on my couch, eating my food and running up my bills! So either you get your lazy ass into the kitchen and make me a meal or get the hell outta my house!!”
The woman on the couch regarded him with an almost impassive look “oh welcome home honey. How was your day today?”
He scowled at the playful smirk that he’d come to despise over the year he had known her.
“Well my day has been really boorrinnng~ waiting on you” she continued ignoring her earlier question “I hope you don’t mind, I raided your fridge” he noticed the piles of empty wrappers, cans and boxes.
His eyebrow twitched with barely restrained anger not that she seemed to notice “oh is it that late already” she finally gets off her lazy ass, stretched and despite the clear hostility he can’t help but appreciate her form, especially when her loose kimono revealed just enough cleavage to show an intricate series of flower tattoos on her left side boob.
He also noticed that she wasn’t wearing a bra…probably wasn’t wearing panties either and she was doing that unnecessarily long stretch on purpose. He did not blush- he was not some quivering virgin and he was too used to her bullshit to be fazed by her teasing at this point.
With that thought in mind he went through a series of breathing exercises recommended by his therapist and spoke “why are you here?”
“Hm?” she was sitting on the arm rest now one leg crossed over the other, the high slit in her kimono revealing long creamy legs and a bit of thigh “oh I just wanted to check in on my favourite man” she took out that blasted Kiseru.
Before she could even think to light whatever was in there he snatched the pipe from her and ignoring her pout he asked “no I mean why are you here, every time, at my house? Aren’t you supposed to be some millionaire who owns a mansion or something?”
She barked out a laugh “I thought it would be a little obvious by now Eric” she reached out to caress his cheek only for the man to snatch it.
“I’m not playing here” he growled
“Me neither, although~” she purred.
“Aw, not even just a quickie?”
“Well you’re no fun” she pouted adorably “I guess I’ll just go make dinner then” she turned around made for the kitchen.
Eric’s scowl abruptly dropped “wait what?”
But she doesn’t answer and instead sashayed into the kitchen with an extra swing in her hips, which he didn’t pay any attention to since she does that all the time. What really got his attention though was when she wrapped an apron around her waist with the affectionate words ‘Fuck The Cook’ emblazoned on the front.
Anyway she then goes through some foreign ritual he has never seen her done for many, many moons-oh wait no it’s-she’s just gathering ingredients and prepping the workstation for a meal.
He had no idea what brought this on but he continued to watch her intently from the couch in case this was some new form of torture/prank. For as long as he had known her she had only cooked for him one other time before.
Yes he remembered it like it was yesterday…
One Year Ago…
It was a dark and snowy night when he pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine to his beat up looking Honda civic. He looked himself in the mirror and grimaced at the twenty something year old cringing back looking like he had just returned from a warzone but really it was just his office’s annual Valentine’s Day party he had managed to escape from.
“Oh how I hate Valentine’s Day” he lamented getting out the car.
More specifically he hated how it gave an excuse for his single mamono co-workers to go on a lust fueled rampage. He shuddered just thinking about it. All these frightening and beautiful women getting drunk off their pent up lust and chocolates and molesting the few single men at the office. Luckily all the single men at this time and any other major holiday set up a coalition to ensure that they don’t end up hitched, so far they’ve gone unscathed but this particular evening was a close one.
Crazy Harpy almost ripped his roof off.
The reason for this close call was that someone had put something in the vents that’s been filtered into the office riling up everyone early before they could know what was going on. Last time he checked Mark was spraying that Dark Elf secretary with mace and Rob was threatening a topless Lamia with a can of liquid nitrogen, how the hell he managed to get that was a damn mystery but by god did it work.
As for him, he had been propositioned by no less than five monster women who would not take no for an answer but luckily he brought his all purpose anti-horny bitches kit, it even came with a Valentine’s Day edition and it worked beautifully for an obscure product made by a bunch of phobic virgins probably living in underground bunker warded against any and every monster girl. Take that Cheshire who worked in the copy room, he never really understood why they’d include that cut of catnip with but when you’re dealing with a teleporting Werecat he can appreciate the effects.
Looks like Miss Yolo is going to be tripping on fur balls for a while.
Which is all the same because it gave him enough time to make a break for his car and do 90 on the 65 breaking at least 6 different traffic laws and almost mowing down that one couple who thought it would be hot to do the deed in the middle of the road but who cares right? The cops certainly didn’t, it’s the holidays after all. Why would they care to do their jobs on Valentine’s Day when frisky monster girls were on the prowl, rape is not an exception but the rule and prostitution is legal?
Am I right?
…was it mentioned how much he hated Valentine’s Day?
Anyway he limped to his doorstep fished out his keys and after waiting a moment for the wards to recognize it he entered his abode.
“Ah~ home sweet hell”
The modest home wasn’t much but it was something his parents left when they went on that vacation, ended up in Wonderland and never came back. Luckily the mortgage was paid for before they left so all he had to do was cover the utility, gas, heating, cable and internet bills…it’s a good thing they took out that Wonderland Insurance Policy, God rest their soul because that’s probably the only thing that going to get any rest in them at this point.
He turned on the lights, everything seems to be in order, ‘just how I left it, the floor is cleaned, the windows are locked, the lights are dimmed, the food smelled delicious, the champagne bottle was iced, the candles were lit and the woman posing on the couch wearing a tight red dress looked as sexy as ever.’
With the self depreciating smile frozen on his face he thought to himself ‘something about this feels out of place’ but before he could ponder it any further, said woman began speaking and it was by far the most lewd thing he had ever heard uttered by any woman before.
“Hello dear~” she purred straightening to sit on her knees “I hope he don’t mind I’ve done a little redecorating, your abode was absolutely dreary. You look a little worse for wear perhaps I could interest you in a bath, dinner or…me?” she smiled folding her arms under her chest to accent her well endowed breasts barely contained under the red and white fabric.
…what. The. Fuck?
His brain was having a really hard time coming to terms with what he was seeing so he just kind of stared with his default blank face for a moment. Then almost robotically he backed away through the door to stand in front of the doorway and…yep this was definitely his house, even had the scuff marks where he likes to kick it before going inside.
Speaking of which he eyed the car and the front door for a few minutes deciding if he wanted to face the woman inside or take his chances on the open road-
‘What the hell was that!?’
He ran back inside and slammed the door shut making sure to bolt it, he looked outside through the blinds at the window and he could have sworn he saw something skulking by his car.
Okay so that plan is shot, he’s not going anywhere for now *POP* and judging by the bottle and tall glasses miss Victoria secret catalogue number 7 is holding neither is she. He sighed and cursed under his breath, he just got done running from this shit at work now he had to deal with it at home, the gods must be clocking double shifts on their bullshitting this week.
What the fuck is Sake?
It sure as hell didn’t come from his liquor cabinet that’s for sure.
He looked at the glass she outstretched to him then at her eyes, her weird purple cat-like eyes and…is that a rose tattoo he spied on the side of her boob “no need to be frightened, I won’t bite…unless you ask.”
His eyes narrowed challengingly before he stomped over and took the glass but he didn’t get too close, if she tried to jump him, he could smash the glass and use it as a weapon, like in those old western movies.
She raised the glass as a toast and he followed before drinking, well she did but he wasn’t about to drink anything offered by a mamono. The last guy he saw that happened to, well he got a shiny new ring on his finger and to this day he had no idea how that happened.
In his own words “I drank some juice then when I came to I was waking up next to my new wife on the floor of the women’s bathroom.”
“Right…how did he get in my house?” He tried and probably failed not to sound pleading at the end there but whatever, he was sweaty, tired and partly covered in…let’s just call them fluids.
“I came through the front door after disabling your wards” she gave him a coy look “not bad work but they wouldn’t be able to keep someone like me out.”
He nodded “I see, could you excuse me for a moment” he put down the cup of…alcohol, went over to her phone and dialed making sure to keep the strange, pretty lady who also happens to be a foreigner in his sights “hello, anti-mamono security services? Yeah, hi Jim, so I just came back from work and there’s a mamono inside my house, the fuck’s up with that?”
“…I’m looking at her right now. What she is? …uh”
“Nurari-something…yeah that…what? The fuck’s a youkai? Japanese mamono?” he rolled her eyes “what…yes I’m in my right mind why wouldn’t I be? Wait they can do that? …shit well how do I get rid of her? What do you mean you don’t cover those species!? Fuck you, I’m the one dealing with this shit, wait until I spread the word he guys are half-assing on people’s security…yeah that’s right and I want my deposit back!” he slammed the phone down and pinched the bridge of her nose.
He looked up to the monster girl who chuckled at his expense, she was sitting on the kitchen counter legs crossed, her dress rode up to reveal pale creamy thighs. Now that he had a good look and proper context from that asshole Jim he could fully appreciate the fact that he was in the presence of a very beautiful and powerful mamono. Then the moment passed as he realize that he was probably not going to get rid of her any time soon, shit!
“That sounded like an interesting phone call” she commented looking at he like she was watching some sitcom.
“Yes joy, look uh Sutaka?”
“I honestly don’t care” he said replied bluntly “you broke into my house and…” he paused to get himself under control “you know what, forget it. I don’t care how you got here, why you’re here and why in the gods name you hung Valentine’s Day decorations in my house but fuck everything just leave.” He gestured to the door.
After all that she didn’t move, she just gave him this look between shock and…what is that, excitement?
“What did you just say?” she whispered peering at him intently.
He was a little creeped out by her eyes especially when those purple cat’s eye slits seemed to glow but fuck it, he wasn’t about to back down now. He already learned that if one gave these monster girls an itch then they’ll attempt to scratch and it usually ended up involving penetration.
In his calmest voice he spoke “I’m sorry, perhaps my docile tone sent mixed messages, uh what I meant to say was, ahem, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
The silence following that shout made the last few words echo and was it getting darker in here? Nah must be his imagination.
Oh shit, he might have pissed her off.
“-do you presume to banish a mistress of the dark from your home without so much as show hospitality?”
He noticed that the room was getting darker and he was probably shaking a little in fear but he wasn’t about to be a punk now.
“Lady, I don’t care if you were the mistress to the mamono lord herself, get out.”
Was that quivering in his voice?
Well maybe just a little bit.
It wasn’t his imagination, the room was getting darker despite the lights being undisturbed and it was coming directly from the nuria…nuraro…the woman.
“No one has ever treated me with such disrespect before” she said in that haunting tone.
He may have been a no nonsense grouch but he still had self preservation and so made a quick escape. At least that was the plan but instead he tripped over his own two feet and hit the ground back first.
And now the woman, whose eyes were glowing by the way, loomed over the soon to be dead man like some spectre of death. Even from this angle, he saw without a shadow of a doubt, she was wearing red lacy panties with a white trim.
Tis the season.
She leaned down, coming closer, the background turned pitch black as if they were the only ones in the world, then she cracked a smirk “I like you~” she practically purred.
“I thought it was just a fluke the last time but you really aren’t affected are you?” she gave him this curious look but so far he has no idea what was going on. Wasn’t she just about to kill and or rape him?
Instead she walks away “well get your ass off the floor big man, the food’s getting cold.”
He could only blink ‘what the hell just happened?’
That night he enjoyed the best damn food he’d ever eaten to date and tried to entertain (read: ignore) the youkai in the room. After that he had to put up with her for months on end, breaking into his house, eating his food and being an all around pain in her ass while having a very nice ass, something she wasn’t afraid to show off.
Oh the teasing, Sutōkā (yes he had to get her name right at some point) was merciless with it. Yet oddly enough it never came to anything more. Yes she was a flirt, a tease and wasn’t shy in the least yet it was more akin to a striptease that never gets to the juicy bits than the poorly acted preludes in porn he had thus far had to deal with.
He took a moment to reflect on this. He’s been cohabiting with a mamono for a year now and he hasn’t so much as seen her bare ass. Huh, wow that’s…that’s actually kind of incredible really, not even his crazy mamono co-workers could claim that. Not since the company picnic ‘man-hunt’ of 09.
He shivered just remembering it.
The smell shook him from his thoughts and wow did it smell good. An actual home cooked meal, none of that microwaved instant crap or the undercooked/overcooked disaster he make in the kitchen.
“So are you coming over to eat, or would you rather stay there and watch?”
He blinked, when did she even finish?
“Of course I don’t mind eating all this~”
Her attempt at being sensual was completely lost on him as he was already eating the very generous portions of her native cuisine. He didn’t know how to pronounce half of what was on the table but it didn’t stop him from shoveling it in his mouth, including that hand trying to caress his arm.
Sutōkā pulled her arm back quickly slightly marveling at his pace “wow, I’m glad you’re enjoying herself. I hope you’re still hungry enough for dessert though~”
That shudder of ecstasy at the thought of foreign pastry was abruptly cut short when he actually stared at her face to confirm if she was telling the truth or screwing with him again. What he saw instead was instinctualy worse in that he couldn’t actually tell the kind of look she was giving him. She was smiling so it couldn’t be anything good for him but at the same time there some warmth in that smile so foreign it actually made him pause before the next intake.
“Okay I’ll bite” and he did “what are you up to?”
She gave him a faux shocked expression “me? What could have possibly given you that idea?”
“You mean other than the other times you’ve inconvenienced me for own twisted pleasures?”
“I wasn’t that bad” she looked away in what might have been guilt but the smile betrayed it, she wasn’t even trying.
He roll his eyes “alright out with it, what brought this on” he gestured to the food “and don’t bother lying, you should know I don’t buy acts of kindness for no apparent reason. You want something from me don’t you?”
She shrugged “oh well I guess your cunning interrogation skills have broken me, I confess I do want something from you.”
“I knew it.”
“But answer me this. How long have we known each other?”
That’s a weird question “pfft I don’t know, a year?”
“Hmm, do you know what day today is?”
“The date honey, the date.”
“It’s” he look at the calendar then did a double take when he saw that it was the 14th of February “what the hell?”
It was Valentine’s Day.
How the hell did he miss that?
“You may be wondering how something so trivial might have past you by.”
He looked at the woman casually munching on a piece of…whatever that is (sushi he thought) and she wore an expectant gaze.
She smiled “that’s right and before you ask no, I did not use any of my magic to mess with your mind. Heavens know it’s already far gone as it is.”
“Have you noticed anything different today?”
Notice anything different? He could say no and that it was just another day but then he realize things should not be so normal on a day like this, yet there were no singing, no decorations, no monster girls stalking the streets.
It’s been quiet…too quiet.
In his defense he tended to ignore things that aren’t an immediate danger to him around this time of the year. He was in his late twenties and had already planned the rest of his life, down to when he would eventually get picked up by a monster girl because let’s face it he was on his last leg when it comes to fending himself from them.
That brought up another thought, his crazy, horny monster girl co-workers have been surprisingly docile. He hadn’t really cared much after the initial scare but it was something worth noting. They didn’t bother with flirting, well they did at first but after a few words and one actually sniffing him they gave up. He chalked it up to Sutōkā but it was still weird how they assumed he was taken when he clearly didn’t have sex with her.
“What did you do?”
“I’ve done a lot of things dear you’re going to have to be specific.”
He folded his arms, legitimately curious now “okay, I noticed how I wasn’t being hunted by the local mamono population.”
“I don’t like to share my stuff” she said bluntly.
Oh so he’s counted as ‘her stuff’ now?
“This is the least Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day week I’ve ever had” he paused.
“Yeah whatever, I have a question. Why?”
“Because you hate Valentine’s Day.”
He hated Valentine’s Day so she somehow went out of her way to what? Abolish it or something?
“I have my ways.”
He rolled his eyes “whatever…and…”
“I’m sorry what was that?”
He reached for some more food only for her vision to grow darker, he sighed looking up at the woman looking at him expectantly.
“I said thank you.”
“Don’t push it woman” he reach for the food but it was now mysteriously gone “what the hell Sutōkā?”
His throat suddenly closed up when he get a good look at her, ever since she came into his life he has never actually seen her angry, there was the rear times she was upset but never angry…until now apparently.
“Do you have any idea how hard it was to make it look as if Valentine’s Day wasn’t happening? A lot of money, a lot of connections and owing a lot of favors. And after bending my back to give you the best and most unnecessarily expensive Valentine’s Day gift of all the least he could do is give a heartfelt thank you for once in your damn MORTAL LIFE!”
After that rant he was aware of two things, first he was thankful he used the toilet at work before coming home and second, he realized that he didn’t actually know much about her apart from being a strong mamono and being rich and that last one was just an assumption.
Obviously that assumption was spot on.
“Well? I’m waiting.”
Shit, he’s going to have to pull something from out his ass quick. But she was giving him that look, the type of look that said she would know if he was lying and if he tried there would consequences. Personally he didn’t think she had the balls to actually hurt him but then again he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of any retribution.
Besides it shouldn’t be too hard to give a heartfelt…thank…you “uh…” he scratch his chin “this really means so much to you?”
She was glaring at him right now and he fidgeted despite himself before ultimately rubbing his head looking her in the eye “fine, fine. Okay, I hate Valentine’s Day, you know this, I hate the damn holiday so much. Some of the worst moments in recent memories have been around this time like” he paused then shook her head “it doesn’t matter. So for going through all that just to give me a week without having to deal with all the bullshit brought on by Valentine’s Day, I just wanted to say, thank you Sutōkā, for giving me the best present of all.”
At the end of that small speech the woman across from he was gushing, holding her cheeks with that self satisfied smile which looked a bit different, softer(?), than usual. The worst part was he couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not.
“Oh, honey~” she practically swooned “you didn’t have to say all that~”
Ugh, he tossed his hands in the air “damn night crawler” he muttered looking to the side.
“Aw don’t be so down, look here’s your dinner, I even threw in a little something extra for you.”
He turned around and he see that not only has the food suddenly appeared but there was an addition as well, a nice looking cake with the caption.
“Happy Birthday Eric.”
He blinked looking from the cake to the Nurarihyon, she was giving him the most tender, heartfelt smile he had ever seen in his life.
“Aren’t you going to blow out the candle and make a wish?”
He scoffed but an uncharacteristic smile graced her lips. Humoring her he blew out the candle.
“What did you wish for?”
He didn’t answer her curious question because as cliché as it sounded there was nothing more he could wish for. He had a good day, was enjoying great food and spending it with an annoying, infuriating yet beautiful and considerate woman. For the first time in a very long time he was happy. After dinner he spent the rest of the night watching bad sitcoms until he passed out with a hand over Sutōkā who curled up into his embrace.
The perfect end to a perfect day.
As he slept the tentacles retracted from his ears with a wet squishy noise.
“Is it done?” Sutōkā questioned using a cue tip to clean the residue purple slime from his ear.
The Mindflayer nodded “anything even remotely reminiscent of Valentine’s Day was altered or outright wiped from his memory.
Sutōkā pulled out the cue tip and nodded “good” she pulled out a wad of crisp bills and handed it to her “a pleasure doing business with you. Keep your phone close by, I may need you to make a few more visits over the next week or so.”
The Mindflayer bowed slightly “thank you ma’am, I will” she went to leave but turned back at the last minute to the sight of the Nurarihyon caressing the sleeping man’s face and running a hand through his hair with a serene smile while singing something under her breath.
While undergoing the procedure she couldn’t help but peruse some of the memories of their shared moments. Their relationship was a peculiar one, coming down to a battle of attrition, his stubbornness vs. her pride yet for how powerful, wealthy and influential she is, it was clear she was not winning the battle.
A most peculiar relationship indeed.
For her part Sutōkā being a Mistress of The Night, was able to stay up all night without so much as feeling any of the fatigue associated with such a task. She spent the time simply holding, caressing and whispering sweet nothings into his ears. By the time he woke up, she would be gone and he would be alone but even if she would not be there to see it maybe for once he would wake up with a smile.
Like the one currently on his face.
She kissed him on the cheek and leaned back watching the night sky through window.