“Bot…Bot…hooker…hooker… fat…dyke… fat hooker dyke….”
Online dating was trash. Everyone knew it. But for the typical lonely mid-twenties male, that was almost always where you looked. Because, where else where you supposed to go? Dan didn’t like to drink with strangers, and didn’t have a lot of money, so bars were out. His friends didn’t have anyone to introduce him to. He didn’t mind going to church, but if you failed to ask one girl out she would talk to others, and the next time you asked a girl out you’d be fighting against the fact she knows she wasn’t your first choice. Churches were places where gossip spread like wildfire, Jesus or no Jesus, that’s just what women did.
So that made just getting a date a horrendous hurdle. After all, where were you supposed to meet young eligible women who didn’t really want the attention or ever showed interest. Well, maybe that was his fault. It wasn’t an uncommon thought, after all you eventually come to the conclusion that there might be something wrong with you… unless you were some sort of sociopath.
But Dan was hardly a special case. America was a bastion of feminism, hostile to anything male. Dan hadn’t believed the PUAs and MGTOWs at first… but as he turned twenty-five with no one to call his own and love. He began to see that they were right. No girl liked being approached, really… they didn’t talk to strangers. He might get lucky and get a night of attention. Might get a match or two on tinder. But they always flaked at the last minute, stopped texting, they just… vanished. For all the talk of men not liking to commit, it seemed women were the ones who didn’t like to commit to anything, not even a date at the ice cream parlor.
He let his arm fall, and let his phone hit the floor next to the futon.
Man, fuck this life.
He heard the door swing open and the sounds of laughter drifted into his house. Two people, his brother and his girlfriend. His latest girlfriend, anyway. He liked her, she was alright. But Dan couldn’t help but get jealous at how seemingly easily his brother could pull in women.
When his brother, a tall dark-headed man with a well styled beard and impeccable fashion sense, saw him on the futon he frowned. Not out of a selfish need of privacy, but out of concern.
“Hey, didn’t you have a date tonight? You done already?”
Dan stared blankly at the ceiling.
“It never happened. She didn’t show. Isn’t responding to messages either.”
Dan’s brother Drake nodded knowingly before taking his girlfriend to his room at the end of the hall. He couldn’t hear anything through his brother’s door, which he was grateful for. He really didn’t want to think about what was going on with them. He was happy for his brother. He was. But sometimes, he wished that he at least had the same problem with women. They shared the same complaints but… Dan wasn’t the one who had had six different girls on his arm the past year.
Drake hadn’t wanted that either, he only wanted one to last. He was a good guy, but his relationships always seemed to fall apart for reasons neither Dan nor Drake could figure out
They lived in a small house built sometime in the 80’s with a fireplace, popcorn ceiling, and flower-patterned wallpaper. It was Saturday, so he didn’t have to go in to work, which he was grateful for. But at the same time, he bemoaned not having anything to do.
He shambled off his futon and headed to the kitchen. The place always smelled musty, no matter how much he cleaned it. And cleaned it he did, often and thoroughly. He despised a dirty house, more so than his brother. Drake was clean for a bachelor, but overall rather dirty. But Dan and Drake were good friends in addition to brothers, so they didn’t often argue about it.
He fixed himself a bowl of ramen and sat down at the table. He turned the TV on in the living-room to catch the news, he briefly noted that MSNBC was starting to try and appeal to the MNN and FOX crowd. Either that or the busty blonde woman telling him the news was just that good at reading cue cards. As usual, there was nothing particularly happy to say about what used to be Europe. There were still hold out of Native Europeans, but as usual they were celebrating this new diverse turn of events, and claiming that this was the future.
Dan didn’t think it was so diverse.
He turned the channel to MNN, his new favorite channel. The Ratatoskr they had reading the news was always fun. She didn’t have the bust of the MSNBC woman, but she was much cuter, and had a healthier look about her. But he wasn’t quite that shallow, he just preferred the upbeat stories that MNN offered. He didn’t like to think about the upcoming World War 3.
“In other news, Monster Date has reached nearly 150 Million users, quickly catching up to old reliable app based date services such as Tinder, Bumble, and OKcupid. The founder, Angelica Sweets, sat down with us to discuss how her app has had such success.”
The camera changed to a well-lit room with another Ratatoskr with red hair and freckles sitting across a tall, very beautiful woman in a white dress with long white boots and pink jewelry. She smiled as she waved to the camera. Dan noticed that she was a succubus, with black ram’s horns curled on either side of her head, black bat-like wings folded at her sides, and long slick tail swishing behind her with a heart-shaped spade.
“Becky Butterbean here with the beautiful Angelica Sweets, founder and CEO of Monster Date. Tell us miss Sweets, how did you grow so quickly? Most dating apps rarely break in to the market, and are flanked by bots and ads. How did you avoid these pitfalls?”
“Well Ms. Butterbean, it was quite simple. We have a dedicated team of Gremlins purging every bot that registers. But really, the success isn’t so much on the app, but the people using it. With Tinder, or Bumble, or Plenty of Fish, or really any of the others, most men become very frustrated with sending out hundreds of messages only for them to be ignored. The virtual marketplace in these situations inflate human women’s sense of what’s available, and often they cluster around the same small number of men. This left an opening, we believe, to attract men disaffected by the process.
At Monster Date, only human men and Mamono can register.”
“Mamono, could you clear up that term for those who don’t know what it is?”
“Of course. While our kind is known colloquially as ‘Monster-Girls’ we prefer the term Mamono, which is what we use to refer to ourselves. Though we don’t mind by any means!”
“Of course. Now, Ms. Sweets, why is the exclusion of human women a selling point to your service? Some have been accusing you of anti-human sentiment, or misogyny, how do you respond?”
“Why its preposterous! I love men-er, humans! And I’m a woman myself, as you can plainly see. Its simply a fact that if an ‘average’ (and I hate using that term, I really do) man joins Monster Date right now he will, according to our data, have his choice of date for tonight! Mamono are much more proactive that human women, and so like to message first. But even if he takes initiative and makes the first move, he’ll most certainly receive a response. In fact, on Monster Date there is a 99% response rate within the first minute of sending a message! You can’t find women that interested in men on Tinder. I mean, excuse me, I meant to say that you can’t find that kind of engagement on Tinder.”
“Yes of course! Thank you for clearing that up Ms. Sweets! Now one final question. There is a rumor that the site Mail Order Husband is eager to partner with you, and match men living in other countries with Mamono living in the Free Umbral Kingdoms. Is there truth to that, and if so, how do you plan to incorporate it? After all, a date seems far-fetched with so many miles between users!”
“An accurate rumor as it turns out. I am currently in talks to partner with Mail Order Husband, however it will not be on the main Monster Date app. A brand new one will be created that will include face-timing and translation software built-in. In fact, we plan to release the app sometime in the next week, it will come in two packages, Normal and Deluxe. Deluxe will be a one-time purchase of 500 dollars, and include transportation on Monster Maiden Airlines if you decide to tie the knot!”
“Well that should certainly help! Back to you, Sarah!”
Dan watched the TV while enjoying his cheap meal, taking his mind off his troubles and doing his best not to think. He just got depressed when he thought too much about it. He was technically in poverty, never had a girlfriend, and had wasted a quarter of his life. The worst part was how he knew that wasn’t a unique situation. He changed the channel and took another sip.
Several more stories around the area were featured. Some masked vigilantes had broken into a Walgreens and stolen all the contraceptives. Then burned it in a big pile in the parking lot. Dan found that funny, and doubted the culprits were ever going to be caught. It had Mamono written all over it. Catholics just didn’t have the balls to do that kind of thing anymore.
Speaking of which…
Pope Francis had finally spoken out on Mamono, though Dan wasn’t Catholic and even if he was, he was no fan of Pope Francis. Regardless, the Pope had declared Mamono welcome to the world, and that he looked forward to visiting their new continent in the middle of the Pacific.
“You know it’s weird,” said Dan to no one in particular, “A superstorm appears in the Pacific like two or three years ago and brings magical monster women with it, and no one bats an eye. Its been like two years, and it feels like its been twenty.”
Monsters were real, and they wanted to date us. And apparently no one cared. He shook his head at the absurdity.
Not too long after he was done with his meal, Drake’s girlfriend left, and Drake was sitting on the futon watching the news with his brother.
“Hey, I’m sorry about the date.”
Dan just nodded, “Not your fault. Did you have fun with…” Dan tried to remember her name.
“Rachel,” Drake reminded him, “and yeah. I did. We went to the Golden Buffet then the farmer’s market. Didn’t get anything, but it was pretty cool. Always wanted to go. But, back on you, I know you were looking forward to it. I mean, you normally keep me in the dark about these things…”
Mostly because Dan didn’t want Drake knowing how very few dates he went on, he didn’t want his “little” brother thinking of him as a loser.
Even if he was.
“… but you were talking about this one, so, for real, you ok?”
Dan sighed. His brother was the only one he ever confided too. The only one he could confide in. His other friends just didn’t quite understand. They were all good enough people of course, but Drake was the only one who seemed to truly comprehend the misery of failure.
“No. I was… pretty excited for this one. She was pretty hot, she responded with big messages, seemed genuinely interested… Hell man, she even suggested the place! I was out there for an hour, and I didn’t get any calls, or texts, or… fuck it. Just- fuck it.”
Drake was silent for a moment, just nodding.
“Yeah, I had to deal with that a lot too. I was lucky. I met Rachel at a frat party. Online dating is trash. Never met anyone from it.”
“Well what am I supposed to do? None of my friends have any girls they can introduce me to, and I don’t really think there’s a lot of high quality girls at the bar. I tried the church route, that got me nowhere! I didn’t join a fraternity and like an idiot I wasted my college years studying! I’m turning 26 soon and I feel like I had no youth to waste. I’ve been doing the responsible thing for years and I’m fucked because of it.”
The truth was that Dan, while actually rather attractive, with big blue eyes, great hair, and a slim muscular physique… was a virgin, and he was very bitter over that fact. His brother understood, he had lost his virginity late too, at 22.
“Well, what about those Mamono things? They seem pretty cool.”
Dan had thought about that. He had seen a few at the store, and a couple of the local restaurants, but they were rare to find single. They mostly hooked up with their cultural exchange hosts. They were cute, though, Dan had to admit. He had seen only a handful in person, but a lot were on the news these days.
“I mean, maybe. But where would I even find one? They don’t-”
Something clicked with Dan.
“Wait… I just saw on the news. They have this app, Monster Date.”
Drake quirked an eyebrow.
“Monster Date? Is that like Tinder?”
“I don’t know. Let me check.”
Dan took out his phone once more and looked through the store. And there it was, a black heart in a red circle, with horns and a devil tail. He downloaded it, and it estimated that it would take a good thirty minutes. Dan shrugged and slipped his phone back in his pocket.
Drake and Dan changed topics as the trouble with girls was forgotten for a brief time, and they discussed their jobs, movies, and generally kept their minds off life for a bit.
The next day, Dan woke bleary-eyed to a notification on his phone.
It was the app, Monster Date, apparently it was all finished. Dan tapped some “Oks” and went to see what was so great about it. It was pretty slick, he granted it that. Lots of blue, pink, purple, and red with black accents. He had expected it to be all fantasy themed, but if anything it had a futuristic theme about it. It asked for five photos of himself, and asked that he complete two quizzes before granting access to any matches.
He didn’t really see why that was important. Most other apps allowed you to fill that in later. But he thought it was fine. He was willing to try anything. He was surprised when it asked for a profile shot of his face, a portrait, a full body pic, and two pics of his choice. They actually cared what kind of photo he had? That was weird.
He carefully took the best selfies he could, with some nice back lighting from the window. He thought he was pretty good looking, but he’d never had anyone other than family compliment him. When he gave them the required photos, plus a picture of him atop a waterfall in Yellowstone and smiling with his three year old cousin at the zoo, he was directed to a long personality quiz. He was still willing to play along, but he thought this was getting a little goofy. Why not just let him see what girls were on the app? Why all the hoopla? He groaned as the first question asked if he was a virgin. He was tempted to say no, but saw a disclaimer at the bottom that the personality questions were confidential. He decided to be honest and answered yes. The rest of the questions were similarly intrusive.
How often do you masturbate?
What’s one fetish you have that you’re slightly ashamed of?
Do you like viewing furry porn? What kind if so?
Do you believe marriage is between a man and a woman?
If you had the option, would you like to be in a loving polygamous relationship?
Are some young girls sexy? Those around 14 years old?
What are your religious beliefs? How serious are they?
Are contraceptives wrong?
Is abortion murder?
Do you dream about love and sex mingled together, or just yearn for one?
Would you be willing to relocate to the Free Umbral Kingdoms if you met someone who really wanted to marry you?
There were other questions, totaling about 500. Dan didn’t know why he even bothered with all of this as he was increasingly becoming convinced it was all a scam. But as he finished the last question, he felt rather happy that he’d finally be able to move on. It took a second for the screen to load. Then he was greeted with a screen that read.
Thanks you for your application! You have passed selective screening with a score of 94%! Our girls will be very happy to have you! Please wait one minute while we unlock your account.
Monster Date is an arbiter of love, and we ask you to be respectful. Mamono love to be a little raunchy, and if you do not like this, feel free to block individual members. Please do not report them, as this is not against the rules.
You will be given a list of ~2000 girls that match your preferences. We recommend being selective in your responses. Mamono cannot initiate messages unless you go to your profile and unlock that feature. Please be aware that you will receive a lot of attention! If at any time you are overwhelmed, feel free to turn it back off.
We welcome you to the exciting world of Monster Date!
Dan was finally greeted to the app proper, and found it decked in purples, pinks, and blacks, at the top was a selection to edit his profile and add pictures, up to 30! Then there was a section where you could narrow your preferences, including radius of available matches, age, even species. That was something he hadn’t considered. There were over 200 types of monsters in the Free Umbral Kingdoms, though. So it made sense.
But what interested him most was the wall of pictures that adorned his screen, rows and rows of Monster girls. There were Ogres, Oni, Slimes, Lamia, Monkey-girls, Tiger-girls, Ghosts, Skeletons, a Robot even! He saw monsters he’d never known existed and then some.
And all of them, all of them, were gorgeous.
Dan had a hard time believing this wasn’t some scam, they all looked like professional models. Many of them smiled into the camera, but many more took selfies in lingerie, or sun dresses so tight as to show off their large breasts narrow waists and wide hips. Some of them were flatter, but even they had perfect cute faces that looked photoshopped, even with the grainy poor quality of their cameras.
Deciding he’d waited long enough to actually try and get a date, he saw a girl with moderate, but round and perky breasts in a tight white blouse and a plum overcoat with gold filigree designs. The shot was really just of her torso, he couldn’t see her legs or head, but he could see her very tight and beautifully muscular stomach.
He tapped on the picture and was brought to her profile.
Her name was Mira, 17 years old, and he was interested to find out, was a Satyr. She had a dozen pictures dressed in bikinis, sundresses, long gowns, jean-shorts and a crop top, and the outfit in her main pic, a rather formal attire that happened to hug her stomach, while at the same time covering more than any of her other outfits.
She was posing just like a model in all of her photos, none of them looking grainy. Which he found suspicious. But he had to admit, she was beautiful. She had long black hair that went down to her waist, that looked silky soft, big blue eyes that seemed to sparkle in every photo and glossy full lips. The ram horns that came out of her head shone like obsidian, and really only seemed to turn her into an exotic beauty.
He did hesitate as he saw the bottom half of her body, covered in short fur, and long goat-like legs. They weren’t ugly by any means, the little hoofs looked kind of cute. Her butt was small, but nicely round and firm.
Dan went through the rest of her profile, deciding she’d be the first he’d try to message. He liked to try and incorporate a bit of the person’s profile into the first message to show that he’d read it. It also helped things go better if he didn’t start out with an empty compliment or a “Hey there”
Hobbies: Partying, Playing the flute, Singing, Dancing, Poetry, Reading
Profile: Hey there! My name’s Mira! I’m a good girl who likes to have fun! Singing and Dancing are my favorite, so Karaoke is something I really enjoy. I like to drink too, but apparently I’m not allowed to do that here. Which kind of bums me out ☹ But I also like parties in general, even without the booze, so I’m flexible like that! I still have my V-card and want to keep it until I meet that special guy. I miss my home in Goldara, but I like Texas a lot too! Your cows are so cute, and they’re everywhere! Sorry I use so many exclamation points, I’m just really excited!
While normally a girl who likes to party was a big red flag, Dan was rather intrigued. She still had her “v-card”? His face went red, but he quickly put the thought out of his mind. He wanted a real relationship. He didn’t want to just get laid, and thinking of things like that weren’t healthy. Not to mention, he wasn’t really the big partier type. Maybe he should continue looking…
But she was really pretty.
He sighed and sent a message.
Dan: Hey, I just saw this app on the news and thought I’d give it a try. You’re really cute, and have quite the sense of style. Did you get that sense of style from Goldara? I don’t know much about the FUK. It seems like an interesting place.
Dan waited a few seconds, holding his breath. When no message came back he let it go. Well, it was a bit much to hope she would respond back in just a few seconds. He put his phone back in his pocket and decided to run some errands since today was Sunday and he wouldn’t have time when he had to go back tomorrow. He asked his brother if he needed anything and went off to go some groceries.
It was a short drive and Dan was glad the Wal-Mart was mostly empty. He took his time since he didn’t have anything else going on. He was in the checkout lane when he got a buzz on his phone. When he checked it, it was a notification on Monster Date. Excited, but subdued, he opened the app and saw Mira had messaged him back. He wanted to read it right then, but he had to check out.
After he got his groceries in the car and sat down, he pulled out his phone. He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer. He really hoped this would work. When he opened the message, he began to read with reserved optimism.
Mira: hey Dan! Thank you so much! I tried really hard to get those photos perfect. A good friend of mine took them. She’s one here too, if you’ve got a friend looking. I’m so glad you took the time to get the app, I know it takes a while. But I think it’s a good thing its so intensive, weeds out people who aren’t serious about it you know?
My style is really more my own, Goldara style is a lot simpler, and everything’s cotton. The clothes can be cute, but I like the variety here in America. But, yeah, the FUK is awesome! I’d love to show you one day. But maybe we should meet in person before that happens huh?
I’m going to a party tonight that starts at 7pm, I’d love it if you could come with me! Its gonna have a lot of food, and be tons of fun. Feel like coming?
Dan sat in his car with the a/c blasting as he thought over the message. Was she really asking him out on a date?! When was the last time that ever happened? He cautioned himself not to get too excited, but it was extremely difficult. She was gorgeous, young, and had invited him out… after only one message!
He decided to chance it, hoping this actually panned out.
Dan: That sounds like fun. What place? Also, what’s the occasion? Just curious.
Mira: No real occasion. Just something to have fun with. The address is 3469 Pleasant Meadow Dr. But if you come early, we could hang out. Maybe get to know each other before it starts? I’d really like to see your handsome face in person. 😉
Dan’s heart skipped a beat. Had she just called him handsome? It was such a stupid thing, but he’d never had anyone he messaged do that before. Now he felt a bit nervous. Was it weird that he was going on a date with a 17 year old? I mean that was a bit of an age gap. But she didn’t seem to mind. He took a breath and messaged her back.
Dan: That sounds great. What’s the address to your place?
Mira: Same address. Sorry, I misled you a little before. Its my party. I like to throw parties at my house since its so big. What’s your number, btw?
Dan was smiling broadly as he gave her his number. This had gone so smoothly, he could hardly believe it. He had had one conversation like this before, and it turned out she was an escort. That thought did briefly cross his mind… But he decided to dismiss it. He was going to go to Mira’s place and actually meet a cute girl who was interested in him.
Deciding that was a good place to pause and actually get home before his milk spoiled in the Texas heat, he put his phone away and drove back home. After his groceries were put away, He decided to share the good news with his brother. He found his brother Drake in the backyard, a pile of bricks littered in the yard, along with other various tools, and a wheelbarrow full of packages of cement.
Dan stepped into the backyard with a quirked eyebrow, wondering just what his brother was doing. When he asked, he heard more than he wanted to know. His brother had a hollow look in his eyes and large frown.
“So, Rachel broke up with me today.”
“What?!,” Dan said, legitimately surprised.
“Yeah, she didn’t even give a reason. Well, she did, but it was all a bunch of little stuff. Like- Its just. Like how I take fries off her plate and hold her hand to roughly and-” Drake had to stop, as he almost began to cry. But he was a stronger sort of person, and composed himself. “Its so stupid. Its so fucking stupid. We were fine just yesterday! I don’t-”
Drake choked up again, unable to say anything else. He took a moment to compose himself as he continued his work.
“Anyway, she broke with me, and me, being stupid, thought she was the last one. You know, I want to get married. I want kids. But…”
Dan nodded. Yeah, he did know. He was actually really surprised. Rachel had seemed to really like Drake. He didn’t see why she would break up with him at all. He wanted to comfort his brother, but he had no real experience in relationships. Not like Drake. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like sharing his good news.
“I decided to start on that firepit and faux-stone patio I wanted. I needed to get my mind of off Rachel. So, I’m going to do that today.”
Dan watched his brother pour wet cement he had been stirring into a stone-walkway mold, and thought maybe he should invite him to Mira’s party. It was probably not a good idea. But it seemed the right thing to do. He got out his phone and saw he had a few new messages from an unknown number, most likely Mira.
When he opened them up. He found that he was right.
He blushed as he was greeted by a picture of Mira in the bathtub, showing her taught muscular stomach and furry legs, stretched out in a bubble bath, her pussy still covered by bubbles.
There was a message under it.
Mira: Hey, sexy boy. I’m getting ready for our date. I’m really excited. Hope you are too! 😉
As long as Dan had been alive, no one had ever sent him a nude.
He never quite got the appeal, with the abundance of porn online. But suddenly, even though he couldn’t see anything, and even if her legs weren’t quite human. He got it. He had a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, his cheeks flushed and his ears burned. It meant a whole lot more when someone intentionally, for your eyes only, sent you a picture of themselves. He swallowed. Not really expecting everything to go so quickly. He had only contacted her this morning!
He quickly composed himself and messaged her back.
Dan: Wow! As if I wasn’t excited enough already. Though, I read on your profile you still had your “v-card”? I love the pic, but I just wasn’t quite expecting it, since we haven’t determined I’m the “right one.” just yet.
Mira didn’t take but a second to respond.
Mira: Oh I still have it! You just seem like such a sweet guy, I wanted to tease you a little. And I have a good feeling about tonight. Like, really good~
Dan: Wow, no pressure, huh? But jokes aside, I’m excited too. Hey, if its ok, my brother’s girlfriend just broke up with him and he’s taking it pretty hard. Could he come along, if that’s okay?
Mira: Oh no! Poor guy. Of course he can come. There’s going to be lots of people. So he might just find someone himself.
Dan smiled to himself and put his phone away, before noting the time as 5:30 on his phone. That meant he and Drake had 30 minutes to get ready since it would take another 30 minutes to get to Mira’s.
“Hey, Drake, I’m going to a party at 7, you want to come along? It might take your mind off of, you know.” Dan gestured vaguely in Drake’s direction, not wanting to bring up her name.
“Wait. You’re going to a party?” Drake said, not meanly, but instead simply curious.
“Yeah, at 7. Its about 30 minutes away, so We’d need to get ready now. I think it’d be good for you.”
Drake still looked confused, sweaty, and not a little bit dreary. But as he looked about his work, he nodded.
“Yeah, that seems fine. I’ll be ready at 6. Who’s party is it?”
“Its, uh, well, you know how we were talking about ‘Monster Date’?”
“No shit! you actually got a date already?”
“I did. And I’m pretty excited about it. There’s probably going to be a lot of Mamono there so I mean… you might find someone too.”
“I don’t think I want to date anyone right now. I just want to get drunk and eat things that are bad for me.”
“Well that first part might not happen. She’s 17, so it’ll probably be a dry party.”
“Yeah… I doubt that. Alright, man, I’m getting a shower.”
With that Drake got up and sauntered off, still drooping, but looking a little better.
Dan meanwhile got to work, he showered, brushed his teeth, put on his best cologne, and shaved his more hairy areas, just in case. He wasn’t planning on it, but… better safe than sorry. He even trimmed his eyebrows just a tiny bit, and styled his hair the best he could. Then he put on a white dress shirt and rolled up the sleeves while tucking it into a pair of jeans that hugged his butt. Finally he put on a brown belt that matched his Chelsea boots.
He didn’t look to bad, he thought. Pretty dashing. He left his room to find his brother dressed up rather spiffy as well, his hair well coifed, beard trimmed and styled and a tight black shirt that emphasized his muscles.
“You look good” Dan said, sincerely.
“You too, you ready?”
Dan nodded, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.
The drive seemed to take both no time at all, and an eternity. This was happening incredibly fast. He’d never experienced anything like it, but this was quickly becoming the most exciting and terrifying moment in his adult life.
The neighborhood had Dan and Drake in awe. It was a gated community, something neither of them realized when they set out. The gates were decorated by twin statues of monster-girl griffons, with arms outstretched. In the front of it, was a large fountain with a marble statue of mermaid. Beyond the gates were houses all built in the Victorian fashion, but they were obviously made with the modern larger tastes in mind.
They thought they may have trouble getting in, but the woman in the booth seemed to know what they were there for and waved them in. The grounds were as marvelous as the gate and houses. There were non-fruit-bearing peach trees all along the grounds, with white flowers in bloom, giving the place a magical appearance, with white flower petals adorning nearly every tree.
The sun was just about gone, no longer in the sky, but giving off a final golden-orange glow. The light cast long shadows over everything, and made the Victorian-style houses seem even more ominous and resplendent.
As they came closer to 3469 Pleasant Meadow Drive, Dan noticed that the house they were heading to, was quite different from the others. Already, there were quite a few vehicles surrounding it, and they could see several lights shifting colors from inside, blue, pink, and red mostly. Dan rolled down the windows and was immediately assaulted by U-Pop, or Umbral Pop music, coming from inside.
Drake furrowed his brow at the upbeat techno music with girlish moans and sighs.
“What is that?”
“It’s U-pop. Its like K-pop and J-pop, only from the FUK. They called it FUK-pop when it started… but they changed it when it started being censored.
“Because it sounds like fuck-pop?”
“Yeah. I kind of like it. Some of it, anyway. This seems a little, uh-”
“Like techno beats put over a porno?”
“Yeah. Not all of it sound like this.”
Dan parked a bit away from the house, not able to find parking closer. As he and Drake walked towards it, they found a large assortment of people heading in the same direction. Most of them were monster-girls. Dan was here for Mira, but he would be a blind man if he didn’t notice the assemblage of beautiful women. They came in all kinds of shape and size, from barely three feet tall to some nearly nine feet tall. He didn’t know what all of them were, but he noticed elves, both light and dark, Arachne in at least six different colors, harpies, lamia, ghosts, lizardmen…. Too many really to list them all.
But no matter how monstrous they were, they still seemed avatars of beauty, like a super-model fashion show. Drake noticed it too, if his wandering eyes were anything to go by. They had on cocktail dresses, party dresses, jean shorts, mini-skirts, high-heels, sandals, some even wore bikinis, though from the sound of splashing coming from the house, that wasn’t too odd. Whatever they wore, they looked well put together. There were no wrinkled clothes or unwashed hair, no greasy faces. Dan was more impressed than his brother, since where he worked no one ever bothered to gussy up, boy or girl. Actually, especially the girls. Sweatpants, graphic t-shirts, hoodies, greasy faces, unwashed hair, yoga pants, and tennis shoes. That was practically the uniform.
Dan smiled at the parade of pretty girls surrounding them on all sides.
“Hmm? What’s up?”
“You seeing any other guys here?”
Dan looked around, surprise on his face. He did catch a few, about eight, but with the amount of girls in the crowd it was a little strange. The guys were walking with each other too. And by the way they were looking around, they were just as awed as Drake and Dan.
“Did your date tell you what this party was for, exactly?” Drake asked as he got a good look of the only other guys for what seemed like miles.
“No, not really.”
“She say where to meet her?”
“Well… let me, check.”
Dan got out his phone and texted Mira. She sent back a response right away, saying she was waiting by the gate with a few friends. When he asked what the party was for, she didn’t respond. With a shrug, Dan led the way with his brother in tow towards the gate. The two turned quite a few heads as they walked, something that they did happen to notice. Dan wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him. When was the last time a girl looked at him with such unconcealed desire? He turned to Drake to ask if maybe it was in his head, but Drake was far too preoccupied smiling to a couple of girls with rabbit ears, who were waving back with smiles on their faces.
As the gate came into view, Dan got his first glimpse of Mira in the flesh.
She stood with two other girls, one a mummy, wrapped up tight with only her eyes peeking through, and wearing a white dress over her bandages. The other a kikimora, wearing a light blue cocktail dress. But Mira seemed the most beautiful to him. She was about his height, smiling and laughing with her friends. Her hair, though black, shimmered in the setting sunlight, and her face was just as beautiful as it was in the pictures. She wore a simple yellow sundress that played well off of her dark fur. Though Dan had worried about her lower half, her legs were actually quite cute when paired with the rest of her. Especially those horns and pointed ears which seemed to highlight her bright blue eyes and charming smile.
“Hey, Dan? Is that you? Over here!”
Dan was brought back into reality as Mira waved him over enthusiastically. He blushed, realizing he had just been staring like a creep, and did his best to play cool. He smiled wide and approached with his brother.
Despite this being their first time meeting, Mira surprised Dan by embracing him with a hug. Dan was too surprised to return it, and it was over before he could register what had happened. Drake exchanged pleasantries with the other two.
“I’m so glad to meet you in person! You’re even more handsome than I thought.”
Dan beamed at the praise, unused to it.
“Well thank you. You clean up well. So what’s this party all about anyway?”
Drake interjected then.
“Before that, could you point me to the food? Also maybe the booze, if you’ve got any.”
“Oh, sure. The food is inside on like, three tables, can’t miss it! And we’ve got tons of booze! The really good stuff.”
Dan frowned at that. Mira caught though, and smiled at him.
“Don’t worry, I’m a good girl. Its not for me. But a lot of people here are older, and I’d be a bad host if I didn’t provide some.”
“Wait, so this is your party?” Dan said, curious.
The Kikimora spoke up then, a pleasant sing-song like tilt to her voice.
“Mira has parties pretty often to help the community relax. Satyrs make the best parties, and a lot of people here in the compound need some stress relief living so far away from the Free Umbral Kingdoms.”
Drake smiled and stuck out a hand to the kikimora, who was wearing a white cocktail dress and sun hat.
“Hey, I didn’t get your name. I’m Drake.”
The kikimora smiled and placed her hand in Drake’s, misinterpreting his gesture.
“I’m Layla, If you want I can show you to the snack table.”
Drake nodded. “Yes, Please.”
Layla and Drake left the group and the mummy excused herself right after to say hello to one of the approaching guys. Mira wasted no time in entwining arms with Dan, a smile on her face. Dan appreciated the gesture. Dan started up some small talk as Mira walked him inside.
“So this is your house?”
“Mhm, Like it?”
“Its nice. I didn’t expect it to be so big. This backyard too… its beautiful.”
Indeed it was. While the menagerie of beautiful women was nothing to sneeze at, lounging women nearly seven feet tall with green skin, ogres maybe? Mermaids swimming in the pool, with shimmering scales of blue, scarlet, and green. Fairies dancing on top of the fairy lights giving ambience to the patio. The yard itself was truly a sight to behold. The patio stretched out into winding paths, and was an earthen flagstone. The grass was lush and green, and several gardens were expertly laid about the area. Above them, strung-up on poles were fairy-lights keeping the place lit even as the sun continued its decent.
“Thanks. I worked really hard on it. My mom and I were happy to be given such a big house, but the backyard was empty when we got here.”
“Given? Who gave you it to you?”
Mira slapped her head in a comedic fashion.
“Ah, I forgot to tell you! I’m on the cultural exchange program, me and my mom. We just arrived two months ago. I’ve gotta say, Texas weather is really crazy! I think the first week I was here it was cold and rainy one day, then almost 100 degrees the next! Anyway, you can either stay with a host family or live in a compound like this one. A lot of girls live here, and were bummed about not finding a host family, so I started up these parties to let everyone relax. I was really bummed to find out I had to be 21 to drink though.”
“How old do you have to be in the FUK?”
“Only 13 or so. We Mamono grow up fast, you know?”
They continued with small talk into the night as the U-pop switched to more normal songs that Dan was familiar with. Mira didn’t leave his side the entire night as she introduced him to her friends. Everyone was rather friendly, and welcoming, including them into their conversations and games. Dan found himself having a good time as Mira regaled him with stories from her childhood back home and asked him about his own. He got to talk about his beloved dog, Tramp, who he had had for 16 years. She got to tell him about farming in Goldara, and how when it was time to harvest, they had to fight off giant magical scorpions.
“Mira? Mira! Over here!”
Dan and Mira were brought out of their conversation by another satyr with green eyes, wearing jean shorts and a red blouse.
“Mira, I’ve been looking all over for you!” She stopped as she noticed Dan, and then a squeal escaped her lips. “O. M. G.! Is that your date? So you did it then? You signed up to Monster Date? That’s so cool! And it really worked? Oh, Eros, I was going to go sign up on Friday but Mom was certain I’d find someone at school. But how’s that going to happen? I mean we go to an all-Mamono school. So, like, where am I-”
She was interrupted by Mira, who put a finger over her lips.
“Sorry about that Dan, This is my best friend, Krysta. We go to Desdemona High together.”
Dan paused for a moment. For whatever reason he hadn’t thought Mira would still be in Highschool. And he suddenly got a sinking feeling. If she was in Highschool, it didn’t really matter if she was 17. Because he couldn’t date her anyway…
“Mira, don’t apologize for me! C’mon, everybody is waiting for you! We’re playing truth or dare.”
“Ooh, that sounds fun. Want to play, Dan?”
Dan decided not to think about if Mira was in Highschool or not. Instead he nodded, ready to play.
Krysta jumped up and down, clapping her hands as she grabbed both Mira and Dan by the wrist and led them inside. Here there were more Mamono, and a few more human guys Dan hadn’t noticed earlier. The music in here was actually quieter, and most of the human guys had a girl they were snuggling up to, but everything was rather PG and wholesome despite the bottles of liquor Dan saw on the table. Quite a bit of it had been drained it seemed.
Krysta dragged them up the stairs and into a room with six other satyrs and two women with bark melding into their skin and leaves for hair, dryads.
They all perked up at the sight of Dan, and he got quite a few stares. Dan looked at Mira as if asking her if it was okay to stay. She only smiled and sat down beckoning him to sit by her. He rolled his shoulders and shrugged, sitting down.
“So, you know me, Krysta, but these others here are Lucy, Dina, Carrie, Julia, Helen, Selena, and the two dryads are Daisy and Rose!”
“Nice to meet all of you, I’m Dan.”
“Likewise,” said Rose, a smile on her face.
Daisy whispered to one of the satyrs, Dan had already forgotten which was which. Dan hoped it wasn’t about him but knew that it was more than likely. Mira leaned into him, entwining their fingers together. Dan turned red, but couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
Mira nuzzled close and whispered into his ear.
“Listen, if they ask anything too personal or dare anything you don’t want to do just tap me twice on the leg, okay? We have a rule that someone else can do someone else’s truth or dare, but you can’t ask anyone to take you”
Dan shared a look with Mira who winked.
“Okay, so,” One of the satyrs brought out an empty purple bottle and placed it in the middle of their circle. “I’ll go first”
Dan thought it was a little goofy that he was playing truth and dare with a bunch of High-schoolers, especially considering what he did for a living. But he decided not to think about it. The bottle pointed towards one of the dryads, Daisy, who had yellow flowers budding from her body.
“Ok, so Daisy,” said the satyr. “Truth or dare?”
“Do you ever leave the compound without supervision?”
Dan didn’t really know if that was a big thing, but the ‘oohs’ from the others clued him in. It seemed all the girls were pretty interested in the answer. Daisy squirmed before nodding her head once. The others started laughing and talking before the next satyr in the circle spun the bottle. Dan was lost, not knowing who was who. Most girls chose truth, and it was rather… mundane. He had expected more embarrassing questions, or inappropriate lines of questioning. But they asked questions like… “Have you found a boy yet?”, “Have you had your first kiss?” Which Dan was surprised the dryad, Rose hadn’t. “Have you ever converted a girl?” That one got some laughs when the satyr, Dina nodded, her face red. Dan asked what that meant to Mira, but she just told him that she’d let him know later.
Finally the bottle landed on Dan, Lucy a satyr with red hair and freckles had spun it. Dan decided to keep things simple. He chose truth.
“Okay, so, how old are you?”
Dan rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t like thinking about that. Especially considering how young these girls seemed to be.
The girls didn’t laugh, like they had for some other answers, they just nodded, and shared a look. But that seemed somehow worse.
The bottle was passed to Mira, who spun it, and once again it landed on Dan.
“Truth or Dare, sweetie?”
Dan picked up on the nickname, it made his heart jump, even if he thought it was weird that she seemed to be growing attached so quickly.
He decided to try dare this time.
The girls gave off a predatory smile that Dan didn’t like one bit. Things had grown so quiet that he could hear the U-pop music blasting from somewhere downstairs. It seemed like someone had gotten tired of the quiet atmosphere as Dan could hear people dancing, practically shaking the house.
Mira got up and went over to a drawer off to the side of the bed in the room. She came back with another purple bottle, filled up this time with some dark liquid.
“I dare you to drink this whoooole bottle!”
“What is it, exactly?”
“Its Satyros’ wine, the best! My mom made it. I’m not allowed to have it anymore, so I like to share with people that can.”
“…And your mom knows about this?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t she? She’s the one who suggested I share it.”
Dan was beginning to think he was making a mistake. But when Mira brushed up against him, he lost his resolve and took the bottle. She was so beautiful. Pouting lips, delicate cheekbones, long eyelashes and sapphire eyes that sparkled.
Damn it. He shrugged and uncorked the bottle, taking a small sip. But after a few seconds he took a much larger gulp. It didn’t burn like rum or whiskey, though it being a wine, he wasn’t sure why he expected it to. It was tantalizingly sweet, but not overly so, with a tingling sensation. He had never had anything quite like it.
“Its pretty good. You said it was Satyros’ wine? Is it from the Free Umbral Kingdoms?”
“Mhm. It’s a specialty we Satyrs are known for. So you can understand why I was upset I couldn’t drink it anymore.”
“Hey, Dan, mind passing the bottle this way?” said Dina, a blonde satyr with rosy cheeks.
“How old are you?”
“Aw, c’mon. Is it really that big a’ deal?”
“Maybe not, but I’m not going to do anything that’ll get me in trouble.”
“Stop bothering him, Dina. He’s a good guy.”
This time it was Dan’s turn, and the bottle landed squarely on Mira. She smiled and leaned into him.
She said it huskily, from deep within her throat. It caused Dan to feel flushed, and suddenly a myriad of inappropriate ideas flooded his head. But he was already on thin ice. They didn’t know it, but his job meant he really should have left the moment he learned they were in high school.
But he had come this far…
His eyes widened, surprised he had said what he had been thinking. He felt a little light-heated, how strong was that wine anyway? He looked over the bottle, looking for some kind of label, but there was none. He felt a cool hand on his hot face as Mira turned him toward her.
She looked into his eyes for a moment, her perfect face covered by a few strands of silken black hair, he moved them out of the way as she reached up and planted a gentle chaste kiss on his lips. He felt himself get warmer, his body flushing.
She let the kiss linger, before pulling back with a coy smile on her lips.
“I hope we get to do more of that,” Mira said as she wagged her little nub of a tail. Dan could only nod. It wasn’t a fevered make-out session, but it had gotten his blood pumping nonetheless. The others giggled, and continued, but Mira whispered in his ear with a sultry voice.
“Hey, why don’t we find someplace private~”
Before Dan could respond, Mira got up and sauntered over to the door, Dan realized then for the first time that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath her dress, and got a full view of her rump. Small, tight, and firm, even if covered in fur, it enticed him. He felt his manhood harden, and against his better judgment he followed after her. The others didn’t even seem to care as they left, which Dan found odd.
But when Mira grabbed hold of his hand, he let that thought go. He felt like all he needed was the pretty little Satyr leading him through the crowds. The party had gotten on the move again, U-pop blaring, and people dancing in the house. The few guys that were there before were dancing with two or even three women, and if the look on their faces were anything to go by, they were sloshed. Dan briefly lost his balance for a moment as Mira dragged him along the hallway overlooking the downstairs.
He saw himself in the mirror, hair dishelved, sweat on his brow, still holding an empty bottle of wine…. Wait. Empty? He glanced at his hand, since when did he drink the whole bottle?
He found himself led to a balcony overlooking the forest behind the gated community, and on the opposite side of the pool and guests. The music here was faint, and all Dan could hear was Mira’s heavy breathing. Her hair seemed as messy as his, but she still looked so sexy. Her curved black horns, her pointed pale ears, her pursed lips smirking at him while one gleaming blue eye stared into his soul… He had to have her. He had to have her even though-
She knocked him over onto his butt with a forceful shove, and he landed on the hard wood floor with a grunt.
“Wait, what am I-”
“Dan, you are so hot, its ridiculous. How lucky am I to have met you?!” She placed a hand on his chest as she sat on his lap, a delicate hand undoing the buttons to his white shirt.
“Wait, Mira. We can’t-”
“Sure we can! I’m 17, so in Texas, that means I can finally do this! I’ve been waiting ever since we moved, and now, tonight is the night!”
“Wait, that has nothing to do-”
Mira bent down, pressing her breasts into his chest, her nipples hard, and kissed him. It was once again, a chaste kiss. But this time his face flushed, his temperature soared, and his cock grew hard, an unpleasant tightness in his pants.
“Relax, Dan. I like you. I want you. Its not just about the sex. I know sometimes for you humans it is. But its not like that for us, I swear. We’ll go out to the movies, and the park, and the zoo, and hold hands, I want to be with you. I don’t want just sex… but I do, really, really want sex.”
Dan tried pushing her off as she got the last button undone. But all he managed to do was grab a handful of glorious boob, feeling the soft supple flesh in his hands. He got distracted as Mira moaned, grinding her sex into his even with the pants still in the way.
“Mira, I can’t I’m- I can’t. I’ll get fired.”
Mira didn’t stop, instead she was already done with belt, and throwing to the side. How had she gotten that off him so fast? Why was it so hot? Dan got his hands on Mira’s waist and pushed her, trying to get her off of him, but his strength had left him. He was feeling dizzy.
“Dan, why would you get fired? I’m 17! Its fine.”
“No, you don’t understand.”
Suddenly it became very cool down in Dan’s nether regions as his pants and underwear were yanked off, his already hardening cock flopping out. Dan’s heart was thumping in his chest now, he was about to cross a line he both wanted and didn’t dare. He had secretly hoped for this, he knew. But now that it was here…
Mira placed a soft warm hand on his shaft, a smile on her face.
“I can feel it twitching! Its soooo hot.~”
“Mira, Mira stop.”
“You don’t really want me stop do you?” Mira asked as she delicately traced the shaft down to the balls, cupping them in her hand. “I can feel your little buddy practically quiver with excitement. You want this as bad as I do.”
“I- yes. But look, Mira… I’m a teacher. I’m a Highschool English teacher. I can’t have sex with a student, hell I shouldn’t have even gotten this far.”
Mira didn’t stop fondling his sack, instead she stifled a squeal at his revelation.
“Really?! That’s so hot! Student teacher roleplay? I’ve read some romance stories about that, but to think I’d be able to actually do it! My boyfriend is a teacher! How cool is that?!”
Dan blushed at how excited she seemed, actually kind of turned on by her exuberance, but he also used the distraction to push her off and put his pants back on.
“I’m… flattered that you’re so excited. But, I’m sorry. I really can’t.”
Mira didn’t like that for an answer and climbed back on top of him, struggling to take his pants off again.
“Its fine! I won’t tell anyone! I promise! You don’t even teach at my school, so its fine!”
Dan found Mira surprisingly strong as she struggled with him, completely unphased by his revelation, and if anything only stirred on more. Dan was dizzy, and finally realized he was drunk. Damn it, he could go to jail for this! Why did he come? He should never have-
Mira stopped as the door to the patio opened.
Dan glanced at the door to find an older Satyr with a tight form-fitting dark red jacket and white gloves. She had waist-length black hair like Mira, and the same piercing blue eyes. At once Dan knew this was Mira’s mother, and his stomach churned at what she might do.
“Oh there you are Mira! I’ve been looking for you. We’re ready to cut the cake when you’re done playing with…”
Her eyes locked on to Dan’s eyes and time seemed to slow as she slowly began to register just what her daughter was doing. Dan expected her to scream at him, or get angry.
But he did not expect her to smile.
“Oho! Mira, did you already get a boy off of Monster Date?! That was so fast! You only signed up, what, yesterday? Maybe I should get on~”
“Mom! I’m trying to make love to my boyfriend!”
“Oh, sorry. When you two are done, we have cake. Happy Birthday, Mira! Mommy loves you!”
With that she blew her daughter a kiss and stepped back inside.
Dan was only barely registering what had been said. Mira meanwhile sat on her haunches, a pained expression on her face, looking as if she would nearly burst into tears. Dan’s heart sank, and his eyes stung. It hurt to see such a beautiful creature cry. He knew this was his fault somehow, he shouldn’t have come. It was selfish. He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to trick you. I just… I was lonely.”
“Well I was too! I still am, because apparently, I’m too young for you.”
“That’s not it. I just… I don’t want to ruin your life. C-coming here was” Dan had trouble thinking, he was still rather drunk from the wine.
Mira cut him off before he regained his composure.
“Don’t you like me? I can cut my hair if its too long for you. Or… I can change clothes too. If its because I’m in school, I can drop out!”
“W-what? No. Don’t do that. It-it isn’t anything like that. You’re beyond beautiful, Mira. It-it isn’t that. I just- I just don’t want to take advantage of you…”
Mira gave him a confused look.
“But I got you drunk… I’m taking advantage of you.”
“No no no no no. That’s not how it works. I’d probably go to jail just for this. Being a teacher drunk at a high school student’s… wait is this a birthday party? How old are you? Really?”
Mira twirled a bit of her black hair around her finger, avoiding his gaze.
“I’m 17 today. I just turned 17. My mom took me to sign up to Monster Date yesterday to get my photos taken. Its something we learned early on, that the rest of the world puts a lot of stock in how old you are. We Mamono… we don’t really care too much. In the old days girls as young as 10 could get married. We try to conform to the customs of the places we choose to live, but its soooo hard! I love wine, I used to make my own and drink it back in Goldara. But here I had to stop. I wanted, so bad, to have a boyfriend and make him my husband and have little babies. When you messaged me my heart fluttered and I got all excited.
When I saw you actually arrive I was floored! Someone actually came to see me! And your mana is so pure and enticing, I wanted to give you myself”
Mira smiled at him, wiping away her tears.
“Its your spirit energy, and its something we Mamono need to be healthy. We can live off of normal food, but we crave the mana of men above everything else.”
Dan wasn’t entirely able to form coherent thoughts, but he was still puzzled. What would happen if she ate his mana? Was it like being a vampire, or something similar? Was he in danger? Looking at the little faun, he didn’t see how, but his worry must have been apparent on his face, as Mira answered his unspoken question.
“It isn’t dangerous or anything. Spirit energy grows back. You lose it all the time in sweat, saliva…other fluids which I was hoping to swallow tonight~”
Dan swallowed, feeling his cock still tight and swollen in his pants. He had forgotten it briefly, but seeing Mira stop crying, and go back to being seductive, batting her eyes at him, had gotten it ready and rearing to go once again.
“Look, Mira… I like you. And you know… there’s nothing to stop us just dating. That isn’t illegal.”
“But I thought you said…”
“Its illegal for me to have sex with you while you’re in High School. But we can date.”
Mira smiled at that and wiped away another tear.
“Well… we can kiss right? That won’t put you in jail will it?”
Dan hesitated. It probably would. But-
Then she kissed him. This kiss was different from the others, it was hardly chaste. She had one goat-like leg wrapped around him and both arms holding him close. Her lips were aggressive as she attacked him with passion and need. Dan tried to keep up, wrapping his arms around her, a hand on her butt to keep her from falling over.
But she was hard to keep up with as she forced her tongue inside his mouth. He might have been worried about inexperience were he sober, but he wasn’t, and he met her with his own fire. It wasn’t clean and practiced, and it wasn’t a delicate dance. It was two very horny people kissing in a wild frenzy.
Eventually, Mira got Dan back down onto the floor, and he was too inebriated to fight back. It seemed as if the wine had only now kicked at full force. She didn’t just kiss him on his lips, but on his neck, and on his chest. Dan tried to do the same, but with Mira moving about, she ended up giggling as he got mouthfuls of her long silken hair.
All throughout Dan had a boner stronger than he had ever felt, and he was really wishing he could just quit his job. God! She was so soft! He traced her backside with his hands, running them through her fur, and tracing the curve of her back.
They continued testing fate for a good ten minutes, groping at each other. Dan knew this was probably still enough to get him fired, but he didn’t care. He was barely able to hold himself back from copulating with her. After a break happened naturally, both gasping for breath, Dan registered something that he’d only now realized.
“Wait, earlier you called me your boyfriend.”
Mira looked away, bashful
“Is that okay? I mean, I’m in High School and all…”
Dan kissed her
“As long as you don’t tell anyone. I suppose I could have you be my cute jailbait girlfriend.”
Mira smiled at him as she snuggled her head against his shoulder. Dan returned her embrace. This was the best date he’d ever been on. Suddenly, he got a call from his phone. What was that?
He ignored it at first, but it kept ringing. He kissed Mira once before asking to be given a minute, which she obliged.
“Mr. Williams, this is Principal Philips. How are you tonight?”
Dan kept his voice from shaking, what was she doing calling right now?
“I’m- Doing well.”
“That’s good, listen, I’m calling because I just got a call from the superintendent.”
“What? What about?!”
“Well, that’s just it. They said you were fired. And I thought you ought to know.”
Dan’s eyes nearly bugged out of his skull, his mouth went dry and he felt as if he had been punched in the gut.
“W-why? Did they say?”
“No, sadly. They mention it had to do with inappropriate activities. But refused to tell me what specifically.”
“But they can’t do that! Don’t I need notice?!”
“I’m sorry, but without tenure, they very much can. Trust me, I’m not happy about it either. Replacing you is going to be tough.”
“Is that all you’re worried about?!”
“There’s no need to shout. There’s nothing I can do. Its late, I’m tired, you sound drunk… and this isn’t the first call I had to make tonight. Mr. Cox and Mr. Mann were fired too.”
Dan rubbed his temples, not believing this.
“I- okay. Thanks for calling.”
“I’m sorry Dan.”
“Goodnight Ms. Philips.”
Dan hung up, his body drooping not at all interested in the fun he was having with Mira. The music had changed to alt-rock again, a slow sad song that felt appropriate. Mira had pieced together what had happened without being told, and embraced him from behind. Dan shook his head. How had that happened? Did someone see him?
He heard the door to the balcony slide open again, and turned to find Mira’s mother with a phone in her hand. She has a smirk on her face and a hand on her hip.
“Sorry about that. But I overheard your conversation with Mira earlier, and it got me thinking.”
Dan’s emotions were battered thoroughly, and even though he felt a well of panic, he stood still, emotionless. Mira stayed snuggling up to him.
“I’m the principal of Desdemona High and I’d love to have you as a teacher. I had a favor to ask of the FUK Ambassador. So I thought I’d sever that little legality problem. Don’t want my little Mira’s boyfriend going to jail.”
She quirked an eyebrow and rubbed her chin, as if she were contemplating something.
“Mira, did you get this poor man drunk?”
Rather than get angry, or even chide her daughter, she just shook her head with a smile on her face.”
“That is so cute! I wondered where my bottle of 1325 Red Rose had gone. Good use of it, I’d say. But do try and ask me in the future, Mira.”
“You suggested it!”
Mira’s mother ignored her daughter and held out a hand toward Dan, winking.
“Well, how’s about it Mr. Dan? Would you like to teach for Desdemona High?”
Dan stared blankly at her, a little angry, and a still a lot confused.
“… you could have asked me without getting me fired first.”
She stared blankly at Dan as a blush took over her face.
“I… hadn’t thought of that. But, to make it up, we start our teachers out at $100K.”
Dan nearly choked on his own spit. 100K starting?!
“I-that’s very generous.”
“You’re welcome. I’m actually rather lucky. I got two more teachers earlier today. I’m a lucky girl. My daughter is too, of course. Your mana is giving off a delightful aura!”
“Thanks. Its um, nice to meet you by the way.”
“Yes, it is!”
Dan let go of her hand, still a little confused and dazed at the suddenness of it all. Mira’s mother reminded them that cake was waiting and then vanished back inside.
Dan and Mira stood in silence for a few moments, neither saying anything.
Owls began to hoot in the distance as Dan sat down, finally taking it all in. Mira joined him, sitting with her hoofs crossed as she butted her head against his shoulder.
“So… wanna do it?”
“I, guess- I mean, We don’t have a reason not to. I’m not technically a teacher until your mom signs me on.
Mira held his hand, lacing her fingers with his.
“You know,” she said, “We don’t have to do it tonight. I can wait a day or two. If maybe…”
“If maybe what?”
“You were just using your job as an excuse.”
“Why would I do that?”
Mira didn’t sound accusatory, or mocking. Her voice was as sweet as the wine he’d taken, as rhythmic and pleasant as the music playing in the background. She spoke with a smile, rubbing her horns on Dan’s side.
“Well, we did just meet. I was so eager, maybe I was just rushing you before you were ready. I saw on your profile you were a virgin and thought you’d want to do it faster. That was selfish of me.”
“You saw that huh?”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. I know how you humans are. You make a big deal out of the silliest things.”
“So you think the 25-year-old virgin High School teacher coming to a girl’s 17th birthday party to date her is perfectly fine?”
“Why wouldn’t I? I like you.”
“Why not? Why do you like me?”
Dan had to stop and think. If he was honest it had started out because he was horny, lonely, and hoping against luck that she would see something in him that he couldn’t see in himself.
He had never thought what might happen if his hopes came true.
“You’re beautiful. Kind. Welcoming. I don’t know what else you are. I haven’t known you long enough.”
Mira nodded. He eyes closed, contemplative.
“That’s fair. So what you’re saying is we can do it if we just date a little first. That sounds good to me.”
“Not quite what I was saying, but… that sounds good to me too.”
Mira gave him a smile and wrapped her arm around his, entwining her fingers with his.
“C’mon boyfriend, lets go get some cake.”