>Be an average man.
>Be going out with a Minotaur girl.
>Her name’s Molly.
>She’s got a very nice, rockin’ bod.
>Personality is a bit rough, but deep down she’s kindhearted.
>You are almost head over heels.
>You’ve fucked her twice by now.
>Naturally, she has assumed the dominating position, something you aren’t quite used to.
>You’ve banged girls before, normal girls.
>But when you’re with Molly, she just keeps riding you for an hour straight before she finally orgasms.
>You usually orgasm at least twenty times in this performance.
>You want to get some of that control back.
>Prideful as fuck.
>This nags you in the corner of your mind for days.
>Walking to work one day.
>Random paper flies into your face.
>HAVING PROBLEMS SATISFYING YOUR WOMAN?
>WANT TO BE THE MAN IN THE BEDROOM AGAIN?
>THEN CALL OUR NUMBER AT 1-800-MAN-HELP AND WE’LL GET YOU ON THAT HIGH HORSE AGAIN!
>Ponder about it for a while and say, fuck it.
>Get on lunch break and call the number.
>Real secretary like voice.
>”Thank you for calling Man-Help, how may I help you?”
>Well shit, wasn’t expecting that.
>”Oh! Hi there, was just kinda…calling to see what this was about…”
>Secretary seems to perk up.
>”Oh! Are you wanting to enlist for the Monster Girl Supplements?”
>She explains that is like a practice meeting.
>Provides you with the place of a meeting tonight and to ask for Carl.
>Molly is going to be working late tonight, decide to try it.
>Later after work, go to McAllister’s Pub.
>Been here a few times, not bad a place.
>Find a waitress and ask for Carl.
>Get pointed to the smoking section on the side of the bar.
>Find a haggard looking fella in a flannel long sleeve and a cig in his fingers.
>Coughs and introduces himself as well and asks what kind of girl I have.
>”Ho shit, son! You got a tough one yah know?”
>Naw shit old man.
>He smokes a bit.
>”You ever pull the tricks? Get some play in the screw?”
>You guess he means foreplay.
>”Dumb ass kids, you get romantic with her?”
>”You’ve got a lot to learn.”
>Fuck this if he’s just gonna mock me.
>He grabs my sleeve.
>Suddenly springs a Liam Neson voice on me.
>”If you’re serious about pleasin’ your bull, you’ll have to put of sex for a week, and I’ll train you.”
>Reluctantly agree, and pay him 50$.
>Rip off, I know it.
>Tells me to meet him around back of the bar tomorrow morning.
>Get there next morning.
>Hands you four bottles of water.
>Must drink four bottles per day, nothing else.
>Moves on to the back.
>There’s a chicken pen.
>He tells you to catch one.
>Some Rocky Balboa shit here.
>Too two days, before you caught one.
>Was apparently supposed to teach you concentration and eye coordination.
>But you just wanted to kill the damn chicken.
>Next was to go to the area’s rundown gym, Alby’s Boxing Gym.
>Get to do curl ups and squats for the next three days at 8:00 am.
>Been making excuses to Molly for being absent, work problems and the shpeel.
>Next task was to enlist in a Zumba class.
>Bro, what the fu-
>At least Carl’s paying for it.
>A class for the next three days at 2:00 pm.
>Apparently hip and stamina work out.
>When not in the Zumba classes, he takes you to a record store.
>Shows you the old style romances, retro shit and all that.
>Then, you and Carl go to a High school.
>Has a friend there that teaches anatomy.
>Go there, and find out he’s gonna teach you about foreplay.
>Bitch please like you already don’t know what to do.
>Starts teaching you about armpits, tongues and shit.
>Quizzes you on it afterwords.
>Barely get through it with a 70.
>Just like the good ole days…
>Insert crack about you barely passing at sex, from Carl.
>Fuckin’ old man.
>Finally, it gets to Friday.
>You’ve had five days to “train”.
>Carl and you are standing outside your apartment.
>He hands you a beer and y’all toast before you go into your house.
>It’s time to smack the bull on the ass.
>Go into the house.
>Molly’s doing dishes.
>”Hey hon, where’ve you be-“
>Literally smack her ass.
>It’s always been your calling card for sex.
>Dishes drop in the sink.
>Next thing you know she’s pulling you into the bedroom and your clothes are coming off.
>A week without sex.
>Da fuck were you thinking?
>She’s already shed her clothes and makes to push you down and start the usual “push over and fuck”.
>Sike! Gotcha bitch!
>You suddenly reach under her arms and start tickling.
>Thank Jeezus, she’s ticklish!
>Bursts out in fits of laughter, Molly staggers off you.
>Now was your chance.
>You throw all your weight against her and knock her over onto the bed.
>Pecker is already hard enough to smash through a brick wall.
>You swing right back on your feet and immediately go for her wet pussy.
>Damn it’s a flood coming out of that!
>Plug it up alright.
>That Zumba exercise shot right into your hips.
>Next thing you know, you’re hip bopping the fuck out of that pussy.
>Molly was now wailing.
>She’s gripping the sheets for dear life and has that blissful look of ecstasy all over her face.
>You get that fixed in your head.
>Nothing else matters but fucking her.
>Never breaking eye contact.
>Meanwhile, you’re shaking her so hard, maracas would be put to shame.
>Finally you both cum; both of you are sweating out the wazoo.
>You’re still good to go another round.
>First time that’s ever happened.
>You jump up and stand on the bed.
>Grab her thick truck of a leg and assume the pile driver position.
>Then you put the “dick” in “dicking her down”.
>You’re imitating your squat routine, what you’ve been training for.
>Molly, meanwhile is moaning through the spurts of girl cum dripping down over her head.
>Holding off sex for a week might’ve worked in your favor now.
>She’s had to have orgasmed at least twice now, her pussy is clamped on you harder than a gator jaw.
>You last this way for a while before you get that rush and cum again.
>Something about the downward pull of gravity while cumming kinda made the experience more ecstatic.
>So ecstatic actually, that you didn’t notice the world flipping upside down until it was too late.
>Wake up in the hospital.
>Carl’s sitting in the chair next to you.
>”Hey bud, you took a nasty fall there…”
>Fills you in on how you fucked up.
>Got too high off your orgasm that you fell over and busted your head on the floor.
>On the bright side however, it took Molly a few minutes to recover from her orgasmic high before she got an ambulance.
>How the fuck is that a bright side?!?!?
>Molly suddenly charges in and hugs you.
>Faint pain around your hips and legs.
She starts crying, how she’s sorry for doing that to you.
>It was mostly your fault, but you let her cry a bit.
>Doctor comes in, “I’m sorry to say, but you’ve had a concussion.”
>Not only that, your legs feel like they got flattened by a train.
>Will have to be bedridden for a few days.
>Carl also told you that he slipped in some Raging ‘shrooms for your confidence.
>Now, ain’t that a confidence killer?
>You lost 50$, feeling in your legs, and the chance to drink alcohol to forget the experience.
>On the plus side, you now have prescription drugs, a new bar buddy, and a satisfied Minotaur girlfriend.
>You. Regret. Nothing.