> Today was a good day for me.
> Got a good breakfast, dressed up in my new suit, and I think I nailed that job interview.
> And it was a guy interviewing, too, so I didn’t have to deal with getting hit on.
> It’s not like I hate the idea of hooking up with some cute monstergirl, but I dunno, I like having private time, so I just keep my head down.
> I decide I’ll grab lunch somewhere while I’m still downtown, there’s no real rush to get home.
> Saw a pretty good-looking cafe a street over, so I might as well check it out.
> Now, I’m usually pretty leery about going down dark alleys, but hey, I can see the other side from here and I’m feeling pretty lucky.
> It’s only like 2 minutes, tops.
> I’m not even five steps in before I feel like this was a bad idea.
> 5000 years of human instinct are screaming that either my life or my virtue is in danger.
> I turn around to see absolutely nothing.
> There’s even someone walking across the street behind me, minding their own business.
> Am I just being paranoid?
> Don’t want to seem like a weirdo and turn around now, so I press on.
> Damn it.
> I can hear steps.
> Speed up, maybe I can get away.
> Seems like they’re matching my pace.
> Maybe it’s just… Echoes?
> I come to a dead stop and turn again.
> I hear a marked ‘swoosh’ of air before I manage to turn my head to see nothing.
> Goddammit, not again.
> Things like this have been happening for the last few months.
> I swear I’m being followed, I don’t know who or what, but little things like this have been happening more and more often.
> First it was an anonymous box of chocolate on valentine’s day, (threw that out, you can’t be too careful,) and now it seems like I’m being watched all the time.
> Now, I’m not stupid, it’s probably some monster who’s got her heart set on me, not a supernatural occurance.
> Saying that, a mantis who’s decided “If I can’t have you, nobody can! Let’s go to the grave together, my love!” is pretty fucking scary in itself.
> I just wanna be left alone.
> Lunch was pretty good, but I’m glad to be home, I just want to sit down and-
> There’s flowers on my table.
> Someone broke into my house to put flowers on my table.
> So not only does she know where I live, but she can get in.
> Looks like… yellow poppies?
> Looks like there’s a card, too.
> “You did super great today!” also, written much smaller, like I wasn’t supposed to see it, is: “You looked really handsome, too…”
> It’s signed “From Your Guardian.”
> Well, at least whoever they are isn’t trying to kill me yet.
> Hopefully she doesn’t start trying to kill my friends and family.
> ‘Guardian’ sounds pretty shady.
> Make sure to shut all the blinds before I go to sleep.
> I hear rustling noises now and then all night.
> Try to ignore them, but it’s starting to drive me insane.
> Grab a kitchen knife and storm into the back garden.
> End up playing this game all night, never finding anything and not managing to get any sleep.
> I find some footprints out back, but all that tells me is I’m not dealing with a hellhound, ushi or something.
> That’s… good? I guess?
> I jump when the phone suddenly rings.
> Ah, fuck what happened last night, I got the job!
> Like 10 minutes away, good pay, I’m even going to be working with someone I know from school.
> Never really talked to them much, but it feels good to know I won’t be alone.
> I’m about to get some breakfast when my phone rings again.
> When I pick it up, all I can hear is heavy breathing.
> I hear an audible gulp.
> “Wait, who-“
> Aaaand she hung up.
> Well, she sounded… I want to say cute, but damn, man, that was creepy.
> She’s following me.
> For fuck’s sake, I hardly slept again last night, and I can tell I’m being watched.
> I feel like I’m losing my mind, I tried to yell at her to stop following me, but all I got was pitying looks from people on the street.
> I can’t take this shit any more, so I set up a meeting with my brother and his wife.
> I hope they can give me advice or something, I’m at the end of my rope.
> Head into the restaurant and see Lisa, my brother’s wife -a weresheep- waving frantically at me.
> We make small talk for a while, but I bring it up when the food arrives.
> “Lisa, Jack, I think… No, I know I have a stalker. She’s been following me and I can’t sleep and I can always hear her and- JESUS FUCK!”
> I heard her, I know it.
> Is this it? She’s going to kill my family, now?
> I look up to see our waitress, confused as to why I just fell out of my chair.
> “Are you… alright, sir?”
> “That’s… yes, fine. You don’t need to get involved. I was just startled. Don’t worry about it.”
> When I get back on my chair, I find the entire restaurant’s eyes on me.
> “You sure you’re doing okay, bro? You seem pretty jumpy for someone you’ve never seen.”
> I can’t believe this.
> I can’t fucking believe this shit.
> My own family thinks I’m crazy.
> I’m not fucking crazy, goddammit.
> “Alex… Sweetie…”
> Don’t fucking ‘Alex’ me, Lisa.
> “Maybe you’re just sleep-deprived? Sometimes it can happen, you know…”
> “No, it’s not that! I know someone’s following me! Why won’t you trust me? It could be anything! What if it kills me so it can have its way with me!?”
> “Just come here, okay? Let’s talk about this some more later, alright? You look so tired…”
> “I am, but that’s not important! What if-!”
> I’m enveloped rather suddenly by a very cuddly weresheep.
> Shit, I’m already getting tired…
> Fucking magic-ass cuddly horseshit.
> I want to say that I sprung out of bed ready for a fight like my coerced nap was just some kind of loading screen, but I was a little bit less graceful than that.
> In fact, all I ended up doing was rolling out of the bed straight onto my face when I saw the blurry outline of someone through eyes that didn’t really want to be open.
> Shit. Fuck. Damn it all to hell.
> She’s in my house and I can’t even get up.
> I wonder if she’s more of a “tied to a chair forever” or “handcuffed to a radiator” girl.
> I take a blind swing at where I figure her legs are- maybe I can take her down with me and at least die nobly.
> “Fuck, chill out, shit, it’s just me, Alex.”
> That’s my brother.
> “M-mornin’, Jack.”
> “My ass, bro, it’s 2 PM. How you feeling now? You were losing your shit yesterday.”
> “I, uh… fine. Guess I was just tired. Ha. Ha ha.”
> Son of a bitch, he thinks I’m off my head.
> And I am not getting my brain tentaclefucked just so some eldritch broad can tell them I’m not crazy before I get turned into some abomination that’s both kid and squid.
> I’m alone.
> Fine. Great. Love it. Can’t get enough of it, really.
> I make it in 10 minutes early for my first day at work the next day.
> I am kind of glad I got all that sleep yesterday, I’m feeling a lot sharper.
> Didn’t hear too much last night, so I’m kind of worried.
> Am I crazy? I called, and my brother’s fine.
> Fuck it.
> I know what I’ve heard, and I still have those goddamn flowers.
> “Excuse me, are you Alexander?”
> I almost punch my new co-worker in the face I’m so startled.
> “FUCK! NO! I-I mean, yes, I am, aha. Just, uh, call me Alex or Al. If you want. It’s okay if you-“
> “Okay, sounds good, Al.”
> The young-looking cyclops flashes me a winning smile.
> Wow, she’s pretty cute, now that I look at her.
> “By the way, I’m Yana, and I’ll-“
> A tall angel steps between us.
> “I’ll take him, Yana. We’re already… Acquainted.”
> She glares at me.
> “Ah, are you, uh, Zophiel? You remember going to high school with me?”
> Oh, god, she looks like she wants to kill me.
> “I wish you’d just call me Sophie. I can’t stand that name.”
> “I-uh-okay, Sophie. S-sorry. What do you… well, do around here?”
> “Supervising you and a few other people, actually. You’ll be working quite closely with me in these next few months.”
> Oh, god. My first day and my boss already hates me.
> She gives me a tour and looks like she’s constantly glaring at everything.
> Fuck, she used to be really nice, I guess my friends were right about angels turning into hardcore bitches when they get older.
> Manage to finish out the rest of the day just keeping my head down.
> Talked to Yana a bit more, she seems really friendly, specifically to me, though.
> Maybe it’s the crazy talking, but I feel suspicious of someone trying to get close to me that fast.
> Head over to my new boss’ office to tell her I’m heading out.
> She’s sitting at her computer, wearing a pair of round glasses I can’t decide whether are silly or cute.
> Either way, she doesn’t look so angry now, so maybe I was wrong before?
> Fucking nope.
> When I step in the room, she barely looks up at me before she throws her glasses as far away from herself as she can and stands up to glare at me.
> “AL!…ex. Ander. Do knock before you come in, you startled me.”
> “Oh, sorry, Sophie. I just thought I’d tell you I’m going to head out now… Is that alright?”
> “Yes, of course, I’d like to leave soon, as well. One more thing before you leave, however.”
> She pulls a cell phone out of her pocket and holds it up.
> “I’ll be needing a photograph for your employee file today, so do try to look dashing, please.”
> “At least try not to look so slackjawed, though if you must, that’s fine with me as well.”
> I make a bit of a pose and she looks like she’s trying to hold back a grin.
> “Yes, just like that. And… thank you. We do just need the face for your file, though.”
> Dammit, she’s fucking with me, isn’t she.
> She stifles a laugh as I turn around and leave.
> I like my car.
> It’s nothing special, mind you, a beater if there ever was one, but I feel safe.
> I can’t hear anyone following me, and if I reaaaally stretch my imagination, I might even be able to outrun my stalker in this thing.
> I think a little more about my situation as I drive along.
> I have a stalker who knows where I live, can get into my house and knows my schedule well enough to be able to follow me pretty much everywhere.
> I don’t know who she is, and she actively avoids showing herself to me.
> I’m alone in this- my family thinks I’ve lost my mind, so I can say goodbye to the police taking me seriously.
> Fucking hell, this is pretty bad.
> I don’t think I could catch her, regularly, she’s damn fast.
> Cameras are pretty much out, she’s probably got the inside of my house memorised, not to mention the setup time.
> I seem to be getting followed pretty regularly, so I don’t know when I could do any prep work.
> She’d definitely catch me at any weird stores, and I wouldn’t be able to pick her out in the crowd.
> I guess I need to assume I’m pretty much always being watched, so-
> Hold that goddamn phone, Alex.
> Oh, yes.
> I don’t even need to buy a thing for this.
> Let’s see how you handle this, miss stalker.
> Why did I decide this was a good idea?
> Jesus christ, I’m going to die if this doesn’t work.
> I nearly stumble on the poorly-maintained sidewalk- I’m in the bad part of town.
> As in, get raped to death in broad daylight.
> It’s 1 AM.
> Surprisingly quiet so far, though.
> My tail is obviously pretty uncomfortable, she’s probably the reason I haven’t run into much trouble.
> I can hear footsteps and whooshing air now and then going to and from the darker alleys.
> A relative term, of course, even on the “main” street, you’re lucky if every third lamppost is working.
> I barely register one above me, it’s hardly putting out any light at all, mayb-
> “Oi, luv, you’d jus’ go ignorin’ a pretty girl standin’ right in front of ya?”
> Ohgodohgodohgod-that’s a hellhound.
> “I- ah, sorry, just in a bit of a hurry, actually, so I wasn’t really paying attention to-“
> “Now, now, I’ve been sat ‘ere on me Jack Jones waitin’ fer a cutie like you t’ come round, stay a while, honey.”
> “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUCKING!”
> I see a flash of white wings before the hellhound has a pair of boots collide with her face.
> Is that… Sophie?
> “STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN YOU… YOU… H-HUSSY‘!”
> That’s a pissed-looking pupper.
> “YOU FECKIN’ W0T YA SILLY BERK!?! THE ONLY THING I SMELL ON ‘IM IS BETA FECKIN’ CYCLOPS AND SHAME!”
> The area around the two is consumed in pure white light now.
> “HE’S MINE! MINE! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!YOU’RE JUST SOME JENNY-COME-LATELY WHO WOULD TAKE ANYONE, WOULDN’T YOU?!”
> “I’LL ‘AVE YOU KNOW I’M DEEP N’ ROMANTIC AS ANYONE, YA MUM N’ DAD BITCH! I’D ROMANCE THE FUCK OUTTA THAT BLOKE RIGHT THERE AFTER A ROLL IN THE HAY!”
> As much as I’d love to stay and have a hellhound and my boss take me on extremely aggressive dates for the rest of the night, I take off running before either of them can figure out what to do with me.
> “OI, GET BACK HERE, I AIN’T DONE, YA FEATHERY CUNT!”
> Looks like Sophie took off, and the hellhound looks like she forgot the point of arguing in the first place.
> Well, could be worse.
> I manage to get back to my (thankfully unvandalised) car fairly simply and head home.
> Of all the people, I’m getting stalked by an angel who I’ve never really talked to?
> Ain’t that some shit.
> “Sophie, I know you’re there, come out, we need to talk.”
> Goddammit, the neighbours are going to think I’m crazy if I’m wrong about this.
> Welp, I guess I’m just the crazy guy who comes home at 2 AM and shouts into the night, now.
> “Ah, the lady of the hour. And how’s my boss tonight?”
> She blushes and tries to stammer out a response, but I cut her off.
> “WELL, I assume it’s been you stalking me everywhere, then?”
> “Ah, well, it’s not s-stalking, really, I mean, I’m just trying to, uh… K-keep you safe! I’m like your guardian angel, ha…ha… ‘c-cause I’m an angel and…”
> “But why?!”
> “It’s… actually, well, I’m p-protecting you! From the dark forces of the world, l-like…uh… the organisation! They’re out to get you, you know! If they got you, I mean, I don’t know what I’d- I mean, what we’d do! They’d conquer the whole world and… well, you know…”
> She doesn’t even sound remotely convinced about that.
> “So you’ve been following me all this time? Why are you so fixed on me? We hardly even talked back at school.”
> “I-well-um… it’s not like I didn’t notice you, and I liked you back then, but I never got the chance to say. I mean, you’re just such a good guy, and you’re really nice, and you look really cute, especially when you’re sleeping, and-“
> I mean, I know she watches me when I sleep, but for fuck’s sake, I feel violated.
> “Zophiel. You’re stalking me. You broke into my house more than once, you’ve been making me feel like I’m going insane, and it’s making me feel sick to know I never have any privacy. You think this is how you’re going to win me over?”
> “I- I didn’t mean to… I just… A-Al, I just wanted to… b-but… you have to believe me… I…”
> She’s starting to hyperventilate and looks like she’s about to cry.
> Why do you have to be this way?
> I shouldn’t have to feel bad for someone who’s been stalking me day in and day out.
> She should be crying, I mean, what the fuck does she think she’s doing?
> Guardian angel? Where the hell do you get off, lady?
> Under my window, probably.
> Still though.
> Fucking hell.
> “Look, I… You saved me today. I got myself into it, but it doesn’t change what you did. I’m still not happy about what you’ve been doing, but I’m grateful. Just… Cool it with the… everything… okay?”
> I don’t think I’ve seen someone change their mood that quickly.
> “AL! Thankyouthankyouthankyou soooooooo much! I mean, I know I’ve been a bad girl, but I just couldn’t help it, but you forgive me! You’re such a good guy, I mean, really, really, really the best! I’m so happy we met and I get to see you every day and we can talk now and-“
> “Just- that’s fine. I’m going to bed now, we have work tomorrow. I’ll see you around.”
> We say our goodbyes and I head inside.
> Between being stalked by my boss, saved by her, and finally trying to figure all this shit out, I’m beat.
> I’m about to fall asleep when I hear a rustling outside.
> “GO HOME SOPHIE!”
> I hear a ‘fine’ in a small voice before she takes off.
> Angels and shit, man.
> The next day at work is awkward.
> Like, super goddamn awkward.
> What the hell am I supposed to say to her after… that?
> She pulled me aside and told me we shouldn’t get too friendly at work before I got in.
> ‘Mustn’t let the organisation find out my secret identity and put you in danger!’
> Sure, great.
> But what the hell am I supposed to be doing now? It’s only my second day on the job.
> Yana’s nice, but she doesn’t actually work in the same department as I do, so I’ve just been walking around asking people if they want help.
> I just wanted a nice quiet life without having to deal with this.
> Is it too much to ask to just be a background character in my own life?
> Hang out, do nothing interesting, lots of spare time, no worries about rapetrains or stalkers.
> I finally found something to do that should take me the rest of the day, at least.
> Hardly even sit down in my chair before I hear my name over the speakers.
> “Alex, please report to Ms. Zophiel’s office. Alex to Zophiel’s office.”
> Why’s she paging me? I can see her door from here.
> As soon as I step in, I see a pissed-looking Sophie standing in front of her desk.
> “Now, I imagine you’re faring well, Alexander? You haven’t come to see me all day.”
> “Ah, yeah. You said we shouldn’t be too buddy-buddy at-MMPH!”
> She jumps forward and slaps her hand over my mouth before I can continue.
> “DON’T! Ahem. Pardon me, there’s no need to continue.”
> She leans in, a bit too close for comfort, and whispers to me.
> “Um… They’re listening, so don’t… well… you know. When I said we shouldn’t associate, I didn’t think, well, I mean, don’t ignore me exactly, but… well, I mean, maybe come in every half an hour or so, because, well, the Order is probably watching you, so-“
> “Isn’t that kind of often? I mean, why would I-“
> She puts her hand back over my mouth quickly.
> “SHH! They’re coming! Get out and meet me back here in thirty minutes exactly!”
> She shuffles me out the door and into her waiting room where her receptionist smiles at me sadly.
> “I know she can be a hard-ass sometimes, but she means well, and she really does get the results. Don’t take it too hard if she’s putting you through the wringer, okay?”
> Are we… talking about the same person?
> I may not have had to actually do much work, but that still sucked.
> Every bloody 30 minutes -on the dot- she’d come get me and drag me into her office to do- I don’t even know what.
> She’d just chat about some random thing that came to mind, but by the end of my shift, we just sat together in uncomfortable silence for 10 minutes before she mentioned something about ‘them’ and shooed me out of her office again.
> At least I’m home now.
> I sit down to dinner, wondering what I’m going to do about-
> Hang the hell on.
> This is nothing fancy, just some soup and sandwiches, wouldn’t take long to make.
> But I didn’t make it.
> Why’d she leave a card? It’s not like I don’t know it’s-
> I squint at the bottom of the card.
> ‘Dark★Guardian Sophie-chan’
> Oh god.
> ‘I’m out defending justice and protecting you from the corporation, so please enjoy dinner! Don’t worry, the shadows are my ally, so I’m sure to come back♪’
> I’m getting embarrassed.
> “SOPHIE, COME OUT!”
> “Ufufufu… Looks like I can’t hide from you, partner. What magnificent eyes…”
> She drops off my roof into the backyard.
> Oh sweet Jesus, what’s she wearing?
> She has an obnoxious black dress that looks like it’s made of feathers covering most of her body, along with elbow-length gloves and what look like a cheshire’s stockings.
> Most of all, though, it looks like she’s covered her wings with coal dust.
> I just wanted to watch my megucas again last night.
> Nobody asked for this.
> I mean, mahou shoujo satan is cute, but…
> I’m getting off track.
> She confidently struts towards me.
> And right into the glass door.
> She holds her face and tries to keep her cool while she opens the door.
> “Ufufu… I wouldn’t get too close to me, my dear Alex, after all, I’m already a demon…”
> If she cosplays big boss to try to get into my pants, I’m going to actually get pissed.
> “Jesus christ, Boss- Homu- I-I mean Sophie, don’t track that shit into my house.”
> I shove her back out the door and try to start brushing whatever the hell it is off of her wings.
> “A-AH! AL!”
> “Shit, sorry, are you okay? Didn’t mean to hurt you.”
> “N-no, that’s not it, just… be gentle, they’re sensitive…
> For fuck’s sake.
> She shifts uncomfortably in her chair.
> “How is it that my boss managed to get home before me, get in an anime cosplay, break into my house and still have time to make dinner for me?”
> She puffs out her chest a bit and looks smug.
> “Well, of course it’s easy with my dark powers, a-and I’d do anything to keep my Al- u-um, pal. Right. Pal- safe. I mean, with the cabal out to get you, how could I not?”
> “I hate to interrupt, but who is it again who’s following me?”
> “I just said, didn’t I? It’s the cabal! My sworn enemies ever since… uh… they destroyed… um… ah, my last form! Right! As the dark lord Shingan!”
> “Haven’t you used completely different names for it, though? Like, a lot?”
> Her eyes widen in what I imagine is shock.
> “Ah, that’s because… it’s a long name! They’re actually the… Cabbalistic Order of… O-organised… Corporation. S. Corporations.”
> I sigh.
> All the ‘ufufu’s in the world can’t save you from bad preparation.
> “Right. Sure. Did you even eat before trying to pull all this?”
> “Ufu, I only need the satisfaction of a job well-done and the safety of my beloved partner for sustenance, I’m your dark guardian, after all.”
> Why is she even saying “ufu”?
> She’s not even actually scoffing, she’s literally just saying “ufufufu” like one of my Chinese cartoons.
> “You sure? We could just share what you made.”
> “O-OH! Well, I mean, if you insist, I-I guess I could, just a bit… A-and I mean, there’s probably no need to get an extra bowl, I could just e-eat with you… Maybe?”
> She looks disappointed when I cut the sandwich in half, but still takes it.
> Well, as disappointed as she gets, she has a major case of resting bitch face.
> What does one even talk about with their stalker?
> “Er, I-“
> “Sorry, go ahead, Sophie.”
> “No, no! What were you going to say?”
> She leans forward and tries to grab my hand, but I manage to slip out of her grip.
> “It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”
> “Y-you’re sure? C-’cause I don’t want to… I-I mean, of course I’m your servant, I mean, not at work, but since I’m your guardian and all…”
> “Jesus, yes means yes, Sophie.”
> “O-okay, you don’t need to swear… Well, it’s just… um, w-what are you going to do for Friday?”
> Right, my birthday.
> Leave it to the angel to remember my engagements better than I do.
> “I was just gonna head out with some friends for the night, hit the town or whatever. Why?”
> “O-oh… okay, never mind, it’s good you have some friends to spend time with. I was just worried that you’d be… well, lonely on your special day.”
> She fidgets a bit in her seat and gets up.
> “Anyway, I have to… patrol, right? I-I’ll be around, whenever you need me…”
> Look, I feel kind of bad for Sophie, but who the hell invites a stalker out to their birthday with their friends?
> I’d never hear the end of it from Lisa, either.
> Looking at the party now, though, I might’ve considered it.
> A bunch of people ended up cancelling or just stopping in for a few minutes.
> Just me, my brother, Lisa, and Yana from work sitting around at a surprisingly dead pub.
> Can’t complain, honestly, I’m not exactly a party animal.
> Hell, I usually just stay at home or invite some family to dinner, which is probably what Sophie expected.
> I was a pretty mopey kid when we were in school together.
> Yana leans towards me, it looks like she’s starting to get tipsy from all the cocktails she’s been downing.
> “So heeeeey, Al, what’s your type? Of girl, I mean, eheh.”
> Lisa looks like she desperately wants to get in on the action, too.
> If anyone ever tells you cyclops and weresheep are all shy, make sure you call them a goddamn liar.
> “Uh, well, I’m not really that interested in getting hitched, honestly. I have a career to think about, right?”
> “Awwwww, c’mon lil’ Alex, what’s th’ problem? I’d let a boy like you sit under my desk aaaaall day~”
> “Oh, Yana, I bet he just needs a girl who can persue him properly. Y’know, follow him around, pin him down when nobody’s looking…”
> Fuck off, Lisa.
> Sophie already does half of that, and if she wanted to rape me, I’d die of a goddamn heart attack knowing she could do it wherever, whenever.
> “Nah, nah. I’m more of a maid fan, you know? Kindly, always know where you’re at with her? Chills out and doesn’t sexually harass her coworkers, eh?”
> I give Yana a teasing elbow in the side.
> Looks like she’s about to jump on me for that comment when-
> Fuck that’s loud.
> The fire alarm starts blaring.
> We all grab our things and run out of the building.
> “Damn, guess that’s that, isn’t it?”
> “Nah, Al, there’s actually a club a few streets over I used to go to before I had the ol’ fluffy ball and chain here.”
> His wife gives him a playful shove.
> You know, sometimes I forget Jack used to be a bit of a player.
> We have a fairly uneventful trip over, besides Yana’s flirting, but when we get there, wow.
> That’s a long-ass line.
> “Sooo, Jack, you figure we can get in?”
> “No problem, the owner’s a good friend of me and Lisa’s, we’ll be in there right away, Al.”
> I look up at the sign.
> ‘The Bicorn Bar’ is displayed in big, neon letters, with a picure of its namesake beside it.
> When I look back, Lisa is blushing profusely and trying to cover her face.
> Okay, maybe Lisa’s not so different from Jack after all.
> My brother swaggers up to the oni bouncer at the front and gives a little wave.
> “Hey, Akako, how’s it going tonight? I was wondering if we could get in, it’s my little bro’s birthday.”
> I’ve never seen an oni look nervous before.
> She puts a hand into her pocket and manages it, though.
> “Eeeeeh, sorry, Jack, we’re… uh… pretty busy tonight, b-but if you came back tomorrow, I bet I could get you in!”
> “Damn, you’re sure? Not even for… old times’ sake? I could probably get you into the back with me and Lisa, you know…”
> She’s sweating bullets now.
> Are they…?
> You know what, I don’t want to know.
> “No? Alright, thanks anyway, Aka’. We’ll be back some other time.”
> Jack waves, and the oni looks relieved.
> Lisa, on the other hand, looks like she wants to die of embarassment.
> Girls, huh?
> “Damn, that was my last card. I-“
> Jack’s cut off by the sound of his phone.
> “Hey, what’s-? …Really? Shit, we’ll be right over.”
> He hangs up and grabs Lisa’s hand.
> “Sorry, guys, looks like the babysitter has to go home for some emergency, we’ve gotta get back.”
> “Hey, whatever. Thanks for coming, Jack.”
> Yana stares at me blankly for a bit once they’re gone.
> “They… have a kid?”
> “Yep, my little weresheep niece.”
> “And they…?”
> “Guess so.”
> “You’re not…?”
> “I’m gonna be honest, Yana. Dunno if, dunno when they did, dunno if they still do, and I absolutely don’t want to know.”
> “Y…yeah. Right. This never even happened, right?”
> “Now you’re thinking. Where now, party master?”
> Yana hesitates for a moment before a lecherous smile spreads across her face.
> “Only one place left, unless you wanna come back with me, Al~”
> “Oh, piss off, you drunk. Where?”
> “We’re hitting the strippers, birthday boy!”
> Yana seems to be enjoying this more than I am.
> We’re not even halfway through the first act, but she’s already yelling and tossing coins.
> The lamia on stage is doing some pretty neat tricks that someone with legs couldn’t, to be fair.
> I’m still worried we’re going to get kicked out, though.
> Yana’s halfway through yelling ‘C’MON, SHOW US THEM SNEKTITS!’ for the fifth time when the snek- I mean lamia is abruptly pulled off the stage.
> An announcer steps out from behind the curtain and coughs to get everyone’s attention.
> “We apologise for the interruption, but it’s time for our newest act, performed by the lovely Lady Shi…. sorry, Shingan?”
> She struts out on stage and nods to the announcer.
> Look, the cosplay game is on point.
> Where the hell does she get these, even?
> Why does she have so many ready?
> Maybe it’d even fool me if I was an absolute retard.
> But I can’t mistake that short, blonde hair, even if it’s tied up.
> And she’s obviously trying to hide her wings, but those things are fucking big, man.
> The school uniform is cute, but she’s decided to put one of those medical eyepatches over a pair of sunglasses.
> For fuck’s sake, Sophie.
> She doesn’t even look like she knows what she wants to do from here.
> She stands on stage and grabs her skirt, trying to stop her hands from shaking.
> “Uh… U-um…”
> Someone from the crowd shouts that she should hurry up.
> “W-well, that’s…”
> She fumbles with the buttons on her jacket, not managing to get anywhere with her nervousness.
> I stand up, and she looks hopeful for a moment.
> “Let’s head out, Yana.”
> Outside, she gives me a hard look.
> “You’re just gonna ditch her there? That was the boss, wasn’t it?”
> “Yeah. This was as much as we could do. She’s probably already left, now that we’re gone.”
> “Is she an exhibitionist or…?”
> “She’s gotten, uh, attached to me, shall we say.”
> Before she can respond, Yana’s phone rings.
> All I manage to make out is a very threatening-sounding ‘NOT A WORD.’ from the other end.
> “Uh, hey Al, I’ve gotta go… Sorry. Happy birthday, though.”
> God dammit.
> Everyone was having a good time, but you just had to go ahead and pull this shit.
> I bet she pulled that shit with everyone else, too.
> ‘Woooow, better isolate the guy I’m following and make sure he has a shit day!’
> Can’t get enough of that shit, can I.
> Can’t she fucking turn it down a notch? Fuck.
> And getting on stage at a strip club?
> What the fuck are you thinking?
> I’m not impressed, and you’re the one who’s going to get found out and look like a dumbass before getting fired.
> The hell did you think was going to happen?
> I finally get home and open my door.
> Jesus christ.
> She’s kneeling in front of the door.
> That’s hardly the problem.
> I’ve (uncomfortably) gotten used to her always being within shouting distance at home.
> I even wanted her around, she needs to get a goddamn piece of my mind.
> The problem being:
> One: She’s giving me sex eyes.
> Two: She’s decided to strip completely naked.
> Three: She’s covering what’s left of her modesty with what appears to be a birthday present.
> “I-I just couldn’t do it in front of all those people… S-sorry, but this is j-just for you… eheheh…”
> … Where do I even start?
> “Oh! H-happy birthday, Al… D-do you want… um… a-ah… H-hang on, I’m going to… say i-it…”
> Not only is she blushing with her entire face, it’s spreading down her chest and-
> Wait, shit. Getting off-track.
> “…W-would you maybe… uh… like… d-dinneryourpresentorme?!?!”
> She shuts her eyes and sticks the box out in front of herself, trembling.
> “M-me? I-I don’t know if my heart is ready, I mean, I-I’d… well, uh, I’d love to, but I mean, I guess-“
> She starts shuffling towards me on her knees.
> “STOP. SIT.”
> She lets out a squeak of terror at the anger in my voice.
> “Now, maybe, you winged nitwit, you could explain precisely what you were thinking when you came up with this fantastic plan of yours to fuck up my social life?”
> “W-what? I- Alex, I didn’t- well, I mean, I kind of did- but I didn’t mean it to go like that! You were just supposed to spend the day with me, and then we were going to-“
> “REALLY NOW? WELL, THAT JUST SOUNDS PEACHY, DOESN’T IT? I BET YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE YOUR MASTER PLAN FOR GETTING INTO MY GOOD GRACES, WASN’T IT?”
> “I j-just wanted to make you happy…”
> “Did you really? Because it seems to me like this was just for your sake. Stalk me more, spend even more time with me, I bet you were even hoping I was going to bed you, didn’t you?”
> Her silence is telling.
> “And going to the strip club to try and show off to me? Really? You seem pretty damn shameless for an angel, don’t you think?”
> “W-well, I mean…”
> “And what, are you going to start dressing up as pornstars I’ve watched, next? Don’t think I can’t hear you outside at night. I bet you’re upset I close my blinds when I jerk off, now, too.”
> Is she….
> “And are you fucking getting turned on from getting berated like this?! Do you even plan on goddamn thinking about what you’ve done, you feathery tart?!”
> “NO! I mean, uh, n-no! I’m just… sweating! This is really… intense! I promise, I-I’ll stop being a bad girl, just, please don’t… p-punish me…”
> “FUCKING SHIT! GODDAMN IT. SOPHIE, YOU NEED TO STOP FUCKING FOLLOWING ME HOME. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU HERE FOR A GODDAMN WEEK, AND THEN MAYBE WE CAN TALK LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE INSTEAD OF MAN AND STALKER.”
> “A-a week? But… Al… If I don’t get my daily Al…”
> “NOT ANOTHER GODDAMN WORD, SOPHIE. OUT.”
> The weekend was… quiet, to say the least.
> I’ve gotten so used to having an angel peering over my shoulder 24/7 that I’ve forgotten what silence sounds like.
> There were a couple times where I could’ve sworn I heard something, but when I shouted or checked- nothing.
> Ended up opening that present she left there, it was a boxed set of some show I’d never heard of.
> And damn, it was good.
> Like, fuck, I got really into it and suddenly it was Monday morning.
> I… dunno what to think, now.
> On one hand, it doesn’t seem like she tries to be malicious.
> And maybe I get a bit… well, a lot pissy about her interfering with my life.
> But I mean, on the other hand, she is really, actually stalking me.
> But then, she does seem like a kind of nice girl, she’s just doing the wrong things…
> I can’t stand being this confused.
> And of course I have to at least see her at work. Shit.
> I may not have actually thought this ‘whole week’ thing through.
> I manage to avoid her all morning, but she does actually supervise my section, so it was inevitable.
> “Alexander, Carlotta- how’s that project coming along? I’d prefer to have it ready for next week’s meeting.”
> “Aaaah, ‘s fine, boss. Probably done by Thursday, tops. And c’mon, call me Carly!”
> Carly’s a grizzly, thankfully married- she’s already… friendly enough for my taste (One can only accept so many crushing bear hugs in a day.). She’s pretty easygoing, but I get the feeling it actually pisses off Sophie when she isn’t taking things that seriously.
> “I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you. And how is our new hire doing?”
> “Oh, good, good. Glad it’s not such a titty committee around here, eh?”
> Sophie sighs deeply.
> “I’m sure. If you could keep those high spirits focussed on the task at hand, I’d appreciate it. Let me know if either of you need anything.”
> “Actually, Soph- er- boss, could I get a minute alone with you?”
> “Certainly. And please, Carlotta, don’t get distracted whilst your associate is gone.”
> Was her office always this quiet?
> I had kind of hoped I’d just know what to say by the time I got here.
> “Is something the matter, Al…exander?”
> “Uh… It’s just… I wanted to… T-thanks for the present, by the way, it was really nice…”
> She gives me a bright smile.
> “I’m glad you enjoyed it, I put quite a bit of… research… into it. I was actually waiting to see what you thought of it before I made a- Ah, never mind. Was that all, or…?”
> “I… Well, I still mean what I said, but maybe I was a little harsh on you… Y’know, back then.”
> She gently touches my arm.
> “Thank you, that means a lot… But, I’ve been thinking. I-I want to prove to you I can do anything for you… A-as your guardian, that is…”
> She blushes.
> “I’m going to keep our promise. If… I mean, as long as it’s okay with you… I promise you won’t see me anywhere but work until Friday.”
> Is she… maturing?
> I really want to trust her.
> Really, I do.
> But this whole thing stinks.
> ‘Oh, really? You don’t like me stalking you? I’ll just stop.’
> My left bollock she’s going to just up and stop like that.
> I know your game, Sophie.
> ‘You won’t see me.’
> Don’t think I didn’t catch that.
> I’m finally taking the time to do a little personal hygeine stuff now, and hopefully I stop looking like an insane hobo getting stalked twenty-four hours a day.
> I’m in the hairdresser’s now to get this nasty long hair I’ve been working on the last few weeks trimmed.
> And I see her, for real this time, I know it.
> I grab the angel on the shoulder and turn around to see-
> Long, black hair, a small pair of eyeglasses perched high on her nose.
> “Ah, sorry, dear, I’ll get to you in a minute, I just have to sweep this up quickly.”
> I was wrong?
> Shit. And of course I just had to get her as the person actually cutting my hair today. Great. Love it.
> “Girlfriend make you come in today, sweetie?”
> Her giggle afterwards makes this even more awkward.
> “W-what do you mean?”
> “Oh, no need to play coy. I may not be a werewolf, but unless you’re a divine being, I can tell you’ve been rubbing shoulders with one of my dear winged sisters.”
> “A-ah, I guess, yeah. Just my boss at work…”
> Another giggle.
> “Oh, of course. Now then, what can I do for you today?”
> “Ah, just short, I guess. It’s been a while.”
> “Now, now, don’t you want to impress that special someone in your life? I bet she’d love if we could show some more of that handsome face of yours, you know.”
> Did I piss off some god somewhere to have this many angels trying to interfere with my life?
> “Dunno, I haven’t really thought about it before. Just do whatever, I guess, as long as it isn’t too crazy.”
> “Oooh, you’re sure? Well, this is exciting, isn’t it?”
> She walks around me, lifting my hair here and there before coming to her conclusion.
> “Mmm… I’m thinking maybe something shorter, comb it off to one side… A little ‘Captain America’ would probably make you look dashing for… work, hmm?”
> Whatever, lady.
> She proceeds to talk my ear off for the next few minutes while she works.
> ‘Did you see the weather yesterday? Wow!’
> ‘How about that big game?’
> ‘Listen to any good music lately?’
> And of course, the awkward one.
> “Soooo… what’s she like? Your ‘boss’?”
> “I’d rather not talk about it.”
> “You sure? You seem kind of stressed, you know. I can keep quiet if you just want to talk at me.”
> Fine, whatever.
> “She’s uh, friendly to me. I ended up getting pissed off at her over some stuff, and now we’re not talking, and I feel kind of tense about what she’s going to do now.”
> “Aaah, the old lov- ah, coworkers’ quarrel, eh?”
> “Yeah, sure. I swear, though, I keep feeling like she’s following me, and…”
> Ah, shit, said too much, didn’t I?
> “Aaah, and you’re hoping to win her back over?”
> “No, that’s… I dunno, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. Like, she deserved every bit of yelling she got, but… Shit, I don’t know.”
> “Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but your haircut’s done, sweetie. How’s it look?”
> Damn, that’s not too bad, actually.
> As I get up to pay, I see a flash of white wings and blonde hair flutter out the door.
> I pay as fast as I can and dash out the door after her.
> I’ve goddamn got you this time, Sopie.
> I bet you thought you could get away, didn’t you?
> I almost miss her, but I catch sight of her again near an intersection.
> Heh, like hell an angel’s going to jaywalk, even if she needs to get away.
> I swagger up to her. I’ve absolutely got it this time.
> “And I suppose you thought you could get away, didn’t you, birdbrain?”
> She turns to face me.
> Now I can’t say I’m so perverse as to get excited when I get to see her tearing up, but it’s definitely going to be satis-
> “The fuck you just call me, old man?!”
> Oh, fuck.
> That’s a harpy.
> “A-ah, sorry, I-“
> “I’LL FUCK YOU UP! YOU WANT ME TO PLUCK OUT YOUR EYES, DUMBASS?”
> I turn tail and run, she gives up after a few steps.
> Guess I’m lucky it’s not worth flying over.
> The only other thing I catch is her calling me a pussy to her friends after she gives up.
> I feel really stupid after all that.
> I mean, I guess I should’ve just trusted she’d keep her word.
> She did decide herself, I suppose.
> Why do I feel kind of lonely, knowing I’m not being stalked?
> Maybe I’ll go out to the bar or something with her on Friday for keeping her word.
> Speaking of, I guess I should make dinner, it’s getting pretty late.
> Rewatch some animus, play some games or something after.
> Head to the kitchen and toss a pot of water on the stove.
> I grab a beer and lean out the kitchen window, it’ll be a while before anything’s ready to go.
> Night’s pretty nice, th-
> I suddenly get a very familiar feeling.
> Fear? No, just sort of a… creeping feeling?
> It’s too dark to see anything far away, but I try to scan the yard.
> Was I just being paranoid?
> I hear a slight jangling, straight off to my right.
> A-am I going to die?
> I slowly turn my head to face this intruder, and-
> You know, I probably would have missed her.
> It’s dark, she blends in pretty well with her surroundings, too. Camouflage and all.
> Well, besides the wings.
> She’s wearing her glasses, an eyepatch again, and, well…
> “Do you remember the time I said I’d get pissed if you tried to cosplay big boss to try to get into my pants?”
> “I… uh…”
> She pulls a book out of one of her pockets and starts flipping through it desperately.
> I squint to try reading it.
> 99 Tips & Tricks to Sneak Up On, Startle and Spook Your Husband, by Mrs. Stripes & Mme. Bone
> Jesus christ.
> Oh, looks like she’s decided on a plan of action.
> She throws the book aside and clears her throat.
> She drops her voice an octave and tries to sound as gravelly as she can.
> Which is to say, not at all.
> “N-no… I’m a… a CIA agent. I’ve come to escort- I mean, protect you. I was sent by Major Sophie, who is currently in hiding. Call me Sn-”
> I manage to shut the window, walk around to the back door, go outside and yank her into the kitchen by her webbing straps so fast even I’m surprised.
> “So, ‘Boss,’ I hadn’t expected to see someone coming around to call so soon.”
> “W-well, you’re in grave danger without your guardian, so I just came to check on you…”
> Well, it’s Thursday now, so she made it pretty far, at least.
> “Oh, please boss, tell me more.”
> “U-uh, what about? You’re a very important person to… us. L-like a VIP, ahaha…”
> “I’m sure. One more question?”
> She cocks her head, looking a bit confused.
> “I don’t suppose you could tell me why you’re wearing glasses and an eyepatch together?”
> She gives a start and quickly takes her glasses off, squinting at me.
> Wait, that’s why you’re always scowling?
> “Why don’t you wear your glasses more often?”
> “T-they look stupid, don’t they? I mean, I want to look good, especially for you, so I- I mean, Sophie- I mean…”
> “You know, even if your glasses look kind of dorky, shouldn’t you wear them? I mean, I’m sure you’d much prefer to see me better, right?”
> “Besides, it’s kind of cute, especially when you’re not giving me a death glare.”
> She blushes, pulling off the eyepatch and resting her glasses back onto her nose.
> “Y-you’re sure? Really?”
> This is cheating.
> Eyes aren’t supposed to be that pretty a shade of blue.
> Glasses aren’t supposed to make me notice your eyes this much, either.
> Fucking angels, man.
> I sigh.
> She squeals a bit and hugs my arm.
> “Really? Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I-I’ll wear them all the time, then! Wait, should I just wear them for you? I want it to be special, so if you think I’m c-cute with them on, then maybe I’ll just-“
> “Whoa, whoa, slow down. How about you just do what makes it easiest to see and we can go from there.”
> She turns her head away, but I can still hear her muttering pretty clearly.
> “I-I’m cute, he said so! I can’t believe it! He praised me! M-maybe he doesn’t think I’m a bad girl any more?!”
> “A-ah! Sorry! Y-yes?”
> “You wanna let go of my arm? I’ll toss in some more noodles if you’re going to be here anyway.”
> She looks like doesn’t know if she wants to scream or pass out, she’s so excited.
> “Sorry it’s nothing fancy, I wasn’t expecting guests.”
> “Oh, no, no! If you made it, I don’t mind at all! I’ll make sure to enjoy every bite of it.”
> I mean, at least it’s not cup ramen, but I just dumped some spaghetti sauce on noodles.
> “Yes, Al?”
> She’s drooling a bit.
> “I was going to watch some shows or something over dinner, do y-“
> “YES! I mean, t-that sounds really nice, and I’d like it, if it’s really okay with you…”
> “I was the one who asked, Sophie.”
> I put a disc in and we sit down on the couch with our plates.
> Well, I sit on the couch, Sophie decides to get as close as she possibly can to sitting in my lap while still technically touching the couch.
> “My dear, feathered friend…”
> “U-um, yes, my… d-dear Alex?”
> “I hope you know what I’m about to say about elbow room.”
> She proceeds to slide the absolute minimum distance away for me to be able to use my fork.
> Well, whatever, I guess.
> I happen to glance over as I take my first bite.
> She’s just staring at me, watching me eat.
> “Uh, you gonna eat, Sophie?”
> She snaps to attention.
> Did she not know what she was doing?
> She looks pretty nervous for some reason, actually.
> She looks a bit shaky with her fork, even.
> There’s spaghetti on her sweater already.
Mom’s Al’s spaghetti
> “You… doing okay?”
> “Um, y-yes, it’s just, well… I’ve never really… I mean, we haven’t really… t-together, I mean.”
> I can’t help but laugh a bit at that.
> “C’mon, how long have you been following me? You’re worried about actually being in a room alone together with me?”
> “I know it’s silly, but… I just… I don’t want you to hate me…”
> “Just be yourself, Sophie, I don’t want you doing something weird again because you’ve convinced yourself it’s what I’d want.”
> She blushes.
> “Speaking of, you’re not going to change or anything?”
> “Well, I don’t have anything to change in to…”
> “Ah, okay. Not going to take your coat off or anything, though?”
> A frown flits over her face as she remembers the night of my birthday.
> “Well, I-I mean, if it’s just you…”
> She stands, undoing what seems like a limitless number of straps and buckles before she lets her gear slide off her body.
> She slowly slides her jacket off, and… wow.
> That’s a tight shirt.
> Like, really tight.
> I’m not sure I’ve ever been jealous of an item of clothing before.
> “D-don’t stare too much…”
> I knew she was an attractive lady, but she’s really showing off her figure, now.
> I clear my throat and look away.
> “So, uh… you… really like cosplay, don’t you?”
> “Yeah! Um… I think it’s really fun, making the costumes, finding out about stuff you like and then getting to be someone else for a little bit.”
> “Oh, yeah. You do a lot of sewing, then?”
> “Well, I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty proud of some of the things I’ve done, lately. Like, I made that uniform I was wearing… uh… l-last week.”
> “Really? That’s pretty impressive. It looked nice, from the bit I saw it.”
> “You think so?! I mean, I worked really hard on it. Do you want me to wear it again, sometime, then? Maybe? I know how much you like that show, so I thought you might like it, so when you came home, I thought about just wearing the tie, but then I thought it might ruin the image, but if you want me to I could wear it again sometime so you could see it up close and…”
> I’ve never seen her this excited about a hobby or anything that doesn’t involve following me.
> Sophie proceeds to talk my ear off for the next few episodes of anime we watch, about anything she can think of related to cosplaying, asking me what I think about all sorts of things and going into (perhaps too much) detail about her seamstress work.
> “Are you sure you’re okay, Al? That’s your fourth beer…”
> So maybe listening to her got more fun the more I drank.
> “Oh, psh, I’m fiiine, Sophie. I could have plenty more.”
> I wink at her and she blushes.
> “I-I was just making sure, I don’t want you to feel sick tomorrow…”
> “Just try not to cramp my style, miss goody two-shoes.”
> She looks a bit shocked at that.
> “I-I’m not! I could be a… b-bad girl… I mean, if… if you wanted me to be…”
> Have you ever had your expectations for someone dramatically altered?
> Well, let me tell you, it can be some funny shit.
> Angels aren’t known for their alcohol tolerance in general.
> But Sophie, in her infinite wisdom, has decided to start drinking, too.
> She’s one molson in and already looking like she’s ready to fall off the couch.
> “Hhhhhhhhheyyyyyy Al, why didn’ y’ tell me drinkn’ was th’s fun? I’d do th’s with y’ sometimes…”
> Oh lordy, she can’t hold her drink.
> “Nah, Sophie, look at yourself. You oughtta slow down, you’re a real featherweight, ‘ey?”
> She giggles and punches my arm.
> “Ah, stop th’ Al, y’know I… uh… I… I forget, bu’ stoppit.”
> “Well, I may as well try to catch up with you, since I know I can drink you under the table anyway.”
> She puts one of her legs on top of mine, grabbing my arm and pressing it against her chest.
> “Y’know, Al… I’d sit under y’r table aaaaaall day, if y’ want’d me to…”
> “An’, y’ wanna know wh’t y’d call me?”
> She pauses a moment for effect, obviously trying not to giggle.
> She leans in towards my ear, her breath tickling a little as she drew nearer.
> Just as I feel her lips touch my earlobe…
> “SNAKE EEEEEEEEEEEAATER! DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOOOO!”
> She immediately falls off the couch and starts rolling on the floor, laughing her ass off.
> The sex was nothing but a smokescreen.
> I go silent and stand.
> “DAMMIT SOPHIE!”
> She stops, looking worried.
> “A-Alex? I didn’t mean t-“
> “YOU PLAYED ME LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE!”
> It’s a while before either of us can settle down with the laughing long enough to start the TV back up.
> “I’m kind of done with the Chinese cartoons, you wanna play some games, Sophie?”
> She grins at me like she’s been waiting for this.
> “Mmm, I’m not sure, Mr. Alexander, do you think you could really beat me?”
> Like this divine broad could beat me at a fair video game.
> “Yeah, I do, actually. Take a drink every time you die?”
> “Eaaaaasy. I guess we can start with that, if you want…”
> I don’t want to go too hard on her, she’s sobered up a little, but she definitely can’t handle losing a few times in a row.
> I’m feeling pretty competitive, though, with that smug attitude of hers.
> Pop in a copy of Cock of Duty and set us up on a decent sized map so we don’t end up smashed before the round is over.
> Y’know, I don’t know if Sophie even plays many games, I haven’t really asked too much about what she does other than cosplay and stalking.
> Eh, should be easy to beat her, I bet she doesn’t have much time to play.
> I run around a corner to get to the middle of the map, and-
> “Ooh, sorry, was that me? You know, you’re so good at spotting me in real life, I figured you would have noticed me sitting on that roof over there…”
> I take a drink, then hop back in, but I die to a mine within a minute.
> “I thought you loved this game, Al… Aren’t you in the top 50 online? Maybe I should just play like this to help you out…”
> She presses the controller between her legs and laughs, but when she takes another shot in the game, she squeals and her face turns bright red.
> She manages to get a few kills on me in succession, using all sorts of mines, traps and long-range shots to take me down.
> How the hell is she this good?
> “Sophie, are you fucking screen peeking or something?”
> “Whaaaaat? No, ‘course not, Alex, that’s something only a bad girl would do, isn’t it? I just sit around cramping your style, don’t I?”
> “You are, aren’t you!?”
> “Weeeeell, are you going to do something about it?”
> She takes a big sip of her beer, then lies on her stomach over my knees.
> “I hope someone isn’t going to hold me responsible for being naughty…”
> Boner, no, we’re busy right now.
> We have a game to win, we can’t just play into her hands.
> “Oh, Al, usually you don’t poke a girl in the stomach when she’s being bad, you know. Bit odd your hands seem so free, though, I wonder what it is?”
> ‘Angel’ my goddamn foot.
> That’s fucking it.
> I wind up and slap her ass as hard as I can.
> Sophie quivers after the strike and looks up at me.
> “I… I didn’t think you were going to… I-I’m… sorry…ter…”
> “I’m sorry, what did the cheater say? Maybe you should apologise properly.”
> “I’M SORRY, MASTER! I WAS A CHEATER! PLEASE PUNISH ME AS MUCH AS YOU NEED!”
> Way to make it weird, Sophie.
> Boner, pretty sure you’re supposed to practice party solidarity with me on this one.
> I said we’re not into this.
> Sophie looks up at me, her face red and eyes looking a little watery.
> It was a pretty even match after that, but with her lead, Sophie managed to pull out a win.
> She’s pretty good, even without, uh, cheating.
> I pop in a fighter next, I want to pull out a sure win.
> I managed to convince Sophie to sit beside me again, but when I sit back down, she stretches out and not-so-stealthily puts her wing over my shoulder.
> “So, trying to get back in ‘master’s’ good graces, boss?”
> She blushes and averts her eyes.
> “I-I’m sorry, I don’t know… well, I mean… i-it just sort of… came out…”
> My little angel can’t be this cute.
> “So, what is it this time? Shots?”
> “U-uh… well, maybe that, and… well… I was just thinking, I mean, well, I was thinking about it a while ago, and… maybe… um… w-wecoulddoonethingtheotherpersonwants?!”
> “What? Didn’t quite catch that. One thing the other person wants?”
> She nods her head.
> I feel I have a very important decision to make here.
> I also feel too drunk to give a fuck.
> “Hope you’re ready, Sophie, Slut Fighter IV is my specialty.”
> I was only 22 years old
> I loved Slut Fighter so much, I had all the merchandise and games
> I play Slut Fighter every night before bed, thanking it for the combos I’ve been given
> “Slut Fighter is love” I say; “Slut Fighter is life”
> My brother hears me and calls me a faggot
> I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Slut Fighter
> I called him a scrub
> He slaps me and his wife sends me to go to sleep
> Sophie can’t even cheat at this one, unless you call making me sleepy with how warm she is ‘cheating.’
> So why, pray tell,
> Am I getting rolled at my favourite fucking game?
> I lost a round getting juggled almost the entire time.
> I feel like she let me win the next round, but even then, I barely pulled through.
> And now I’m getting cornerfucked on the final round.
> It’s time.
> My ultimate combo strategy.
> My controller sounds more like a typewriter as I smash out move after move.
> There’s no way she could have-
> She’s alive.
> She’s alive and on the opposite end of the screen.
> She’s alive and I’m getting juggled again.
> She looks over at me when I die, giving me a smug grin.
> “And to think I idolised you, Al… I thought this was your best game?”
> I give up.
> I slump into the couch, thoroughly defeated.
> Definitely not just a sleepy drunk with a feathery blanket over his shoulders.
> “You beat me, Sophie. I don’t know how. Just… hurry up and make your request.”
> She plays with her fingers nervously for a moment.
> “Well, I mean, I thought… That is… Well, maybe… I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t really want to…”
> “Just say it.”
> “A-as my prize, I really want… a k-k-kiss. F-from you…”
> I’ll be honest.
> Wasn’t really expecting something so benign.
> Fuck it, might as well.
> Actually, I don’t really feel like moving right now.
> “C’mere, then, Sophie.”
> She wraps her wings around us, bringing her face a few inches from mine.
> She turns a bright red and tries to cover her face.
> “I-I was j-just kidding! I mean, haha, maybe, but, I mean, w-whose heart would even be ready for this?! I c-can’t, well, I-“
> I interrupt her tirade to move her hands away from her face, pulling her close enough to touch her lips to mine.
> Damn, those are soft.
> I’ll be completely honest, it’s probably not my finest work, drunk and all, but Sophie, after the initial shock, gets right into it.
> She presses her entire body against mine and cradles my neck.
> She slides her tongue into my mouth and moans, evidently rather pleased with the situation.
> I can’t say I mind that much, either.
> Cute girl, nice kissing, comfy feathers everywhere…
> Maybe too comfy, I feel like I’m falling asleep…
> Pretty sure I feel Sophie’s hand moving into her pants.
> I feel too out of energy to do anything about it, though.
> I’m definitely not sleeping, I’m just… resting my eyes a bit.
> I’m vaguely aware of Sophie doing… well, whatever she’s doing, she seems to be having fun.
> I didn’t fall asleep, I just… stopped paying so much attention to stuff.
> Judging by the sun and birdsong, I’m pretty sure I did, in fact, fall asleep.
> Headache? Check.
> Crick in my neck from the couch? Check.
> I have a feather in my mouth, but otherwise, nope.
> Well, room’s clean and some of her clothes are still here, so she’s probably doing something unnecessarily awkward like cooking breakfast naked.
> I can smell something in the kitchen, so I manage to summon enough effort to leave the couch.
> Ah, there it is, bacon and eggs, some nice hashbrowns, too.
> For one, though. Huh.
> Ah, looks like we’re back to notes.
> “Alex, thank you so much for everything last night! But, I did some things I didn’t really mean to, and I didn’t know how to stop myself, so I wasn’t sure how to face you… I made you breakfast, though! I hope it’s good! I hope I can see you soon… Your Faithful Guardian, Sophie”
> That’s… well.
> I knew she was easily embarrassed, but still.
> Well, no sense letting the food go to waste, I guess.
> I finish breakfast and sit down on the couch to think about what I’m going to do about last night.
> I mean, I didn’t really mean to let her do anything weird, but…
> It’s not like it was that bad, but…
> Well, dating the boss is bad… kinda? I don’t know if anyone would actually care, monsters and all.
> She does really like me.
> I’m going to go ahead and let future me deal with this.
> That guy’s pretty easy to sucker into things.
> I stretch out and end up kicking one of Sophie’s pouches, still lying on the floor, and her wallet falls out.
> I shouldn’t.
> A gentleman doesn’t dig through a lady’s belongings.
> But what if she needs this stuff?
> I mean, I’ll just take a quick peek, try and find out something I can use to contact her, and that’s it.
> I slowly opened her wallet, a bit scared of what I’d find.
> Very reservedly, mind you, I wasn’t interested in anything I’d find there.
> Definitely didn’t look around whatsoever.
> I didn’t find a point card for the local fabric store.
> I didn’t find a pretty embarrassing picture on her driver’s liscence, and definitely didn’t giggle.
> I didn’t see that she had a copy of my schedule and future engagements written on a piece of paper.
> And I absolutely, positively didn’t see, touch or become aware of a copy of the picture from my first day of work.
> Even if I did, it wasn’t the whole body shot of me doing a pretty stupid pose.
> There definitely weren’t hearts drawn on it in pink marker, right over ‘Al’s first day at work!!!’ either.
> Fortunately, I manage to find her address without finding anything else, okay? Nothing was seen.
> It’s… not that far from here, actually. Nicer part of town, not that here was bad.
> Guess that’s why she’s so free to go back and forth.
> Well, like hell I’m driving with this hangover. Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow or something.
> Now… I feel kind of bored?
> I fold up Sophie’s clothes and put them near the door so I won’t forget about them.
> May as well go on the computer, I guess. It’s been a while, actually, I’ve been pretty preoccupied with things lately.
> I head into my office and… things seem slightly off.
> I don’t know what it is, but something feels out-of-place.
> I won’t kid myself, I know exactly who did this, but what’d she do in here?
> When I sit down, I notice it.
> Pen and paper out on the desk, looks like she pulled a sheet off this notebook.
> Oh god, no.
> I type in my password furiously.
> Yuuuup. She did it.
> Porn folder is wiiiiide open.
> At least I’m not into shitting dick nipples or something, but goddamn it.
> I even have labelled subfolders, this was probably too easy.
> She probably already had an idea about some of this, but now it’s all laid bare.
> It’s not even the embarrassment at this point, I’m beyond that.
> I’m just worried about what she’s going to do with this.
> Well, I’m sure it’ll turn out okay.
> I hope.
> I end up sleeping off my hangover for most of the day, between snacking and yelling at birds to shut up.
> Wake up the next… well, morning might be a bit charitable, but whatever.
> Looks like nothing weird happened, which is promising.
> I was half-expecting Sophie to be at the foot of my bed, wearing a swimsuit, thighhighs, bunny ears and a nun’s hat at the same time.
> I’m a bit relieved, actually.
> I manage a completely normal breakfast and manage to clean up the house a bit before I figure I should go check out this address.
> Grab Sophie’s stuff, double-check everything is where she left it and head out.
> I’m about halfway there before I start actually thinking about what I’m doing.
> Is it weird I’m going to her house?
> Well, she does stalk me, so…
> And, more than that, what’s it going to actually be like?
> Is she even going to be home?
> What’s she going to have in her house?
> Suddenly the mismatched fetish outfit seems mundane and easy to deal with.
> I get to her place with a bit of difficulty, she lives in one of those new townhouses that are all in a row and end up looking exactly the same.
> Number 37.
> Kind of spooked, but here I go, I guess.
> I hope this is the right place.
> I mean, imagine if this is the wrong place.
> ‘Ah, hi, I’m looking for my stalker, actually, she left her wallet at my house, so I dug through it to find out where she lived, so I’m coming over without announcing myself and…’
> Oh god.
> Well, the letterbox by the door says ‘Z. Fairewing,’ so at least I have the right house.
> Okay, my body is as ready as it’s going to be.
> Hope she’s not in the middle of something.
> I ring the doorbell.
> Maybe…she’s not home?
> Well, I mean, maybe that’s for the best, anyway, ha ha… It’s not like I wanted this, anyway, I mean, who knows what kind of shit’s in there, and I mean, something horrible is bound to happen anyway, so, that is…
> Shit, why am I being such a pussy about this?
> It’s not as if she wouldn’t happily invite me here if I asked.
> What’s the worst that could happen?
> Maybe she’s around back?
> I take the well-maintained path around the side and into a conspicuously empty backyard.
> Wait, back door’s open, though.
> Maybe she just stepped in for a second.
> I poke my head through the door.
> “Sophie? It’s me, Al.”
> I’m going to have to go inside, aren’t I?
> Nice place, at least.
> I know it was pretty mean to expect cardboard duct taped over the windows and pictures of me everywhere, but I dunno.
> I wasn’t really expecting clean white rooms with some cheery yellow wallpaper.
> It’s… nice, actually. Very… angelly.
> I call out again, but still don’t end up getting an answer, so I go further in.
> Not particularly decorated, but fairly nice, overall.
> Some weird cabinet in the corner, like those house shrines, though.
> …I shouldn’t.
> I mean, do I even want to know?
> That’d be a horrible idea, really.
> I mean, everything’s been so nice so far.
> It’s probably a china cabinet or something.
> Yeah, right. Nothing weird, people have china cabinets.
> It just so happens this one doesn’t have doors you can see through.
> I mean, no harm in just a little peek, right?
> Just some cute plates or something, maybe a nice tea set.
> Certainly not plates.
> I guess it could be worse.
> This is definitely a shrine.
> There’s a few pictures of me, the one she took for work, couple of me sleeping, and… a school picture?
> Haven’t seen this in a while, I probably wouldn’t hve even found myself if I didn’t have a heart drawn around me.
> She’s in it, too, looking pretty cute, actually.
> Man, I had a little crush on her at the time, but I wouldn’t have believed I’d get in a situation like this.
> The only other thing is…
> A lock of hair?
> It’s got a date attached to it, and…
> SON OF A BITCH.
> I fucking knew I saw her when I got that haircut.
> Well, at least it isn’t a collection of everything I’ve ever touched.
> But like hell I’m mentioning this ever again.
> Now then, where is the winged wench?
> Not on the main floor, looks like.
> I hear something upstairs- music?
> I manage to find a door, slightly ajar.
> Sounds like something’s moving around inside.
> Dare I enter her magical realm?
> Think about what could be on the other side of the door.
> I’m not sure I should…
> I go in, finding a dark room, the window covered with newspaper.
> As my eyes adjust, I see… pictures?
> They’re everywhere, covering every inch of wall space.
> What looks like every object I’ve ever lost are scattered on the floor.
> The room smells like a combination of rot and my cologne, it’s disgusting.
> My eyes are eventually drawn to a figure in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth.
> It’s Sophie.
> Her wings are filthy, and she’s dressed in one of my shirts and a pair of boxers.
> She looks at me, but her eyes are… empty.
> I- oh god.
> She’s got Yana’s severed head sitting beside her.
> There’s blood everywhere.
> “…You saw, didn’t you?”
> I try to turn, but it’s too late.
> I’m grabbed by my collar before I can move.
> “A~~~lex, why don’t you trust me? You know, naughty boys who run should have their legs taken away so they don’t do it again, don’t you think?”
> Jesus fuck.
> Why’d I decide watching mirai nikki was a good idea last night?
> It’s just Sophie, things’ll be fine.
> I- I hope?
> I reach out to the door, and just as I touch it, I hear a voice.
> “Al, are you watching? L-look at me… No escaping…”
> I’m gonna die. I’m dead. She knows I’m here, it’s all over.
> The door swings open unpleasantly easily at my touch, revealing… what?
> Sophie looks up at me from her bed and her eyes widen in shock.
> “AAAH! AL! NO, WAIT! IT’S NOT-! PLEASE DON’T LOOK, I MEAN, NOT NOW, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!”
> 1. A video camera is set up on a tripod, facing Sophie.
> 2. Sitting on top of it is some sort of plushie, dressed in a tiny suit and looking suspicously like a certain someone I happen to see in mirrors.
> 3. Sophie is lying in her bed, dressed in what appears to be a school swimsuit and thigh-high stockings.
> 4. She’s desperately trying to cover herself up with a blanket, but failing because of
> 5. She’s managed to tie herself up quite thoroughly with what looks like a huge amount of pink rope.
> She’s trying to tug her wrists free from behind her back, but they’re attached to her chest somehow.
> She’s flailing her legs and wings, but she’s also tied into a kneeling position.
> I step back out of the room and close the door.
> “S-sorry, I’ll let you, uh…”
> “N-no, that’s… hang on a second, I… J-just please stay there. Please Alex?”
> A few minutes pass.
> I hear a lot of shuffling in the room, but she’s not out yet.
> “Sophie? Is everything okay, or…?”
> “Um, y-yeah! Peachy! Just one minute and I’ll be right out, haha…”
> The promised minute comes and goes.
> So do ten more.
> “…A-Al? Are you still there?”
> “Yeah, is something up?”
> “…I…well… p-promise not to laugh?”
> “I’ll try my best.”
> “Um… can you… h-help me? …I can’t get out…”
> Maybe it’s the high from finding out I wasn’t actually going to be murdered, but holy shit, it’s hard not to laugh.
> “Y-yeah, I’ll be right in.”
> She’s still on the bed, though looking much more dishevelled than before.
> She’s got tears in her eyes and her hair has fallen partly over her face.
> Looks like the only thing she managed to loosen was one of her socks in all that time.
> She squirms a lot and makes a few funny sounds as I loosen the knots and slide the rope off her body.
> And damn it was tight, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to get some of it off without finding scissors.
> I manage to get it all off in the end, though.
> Briefly wonder how she’s going to explain the rope marks criss-crossing all over her body at work.
> She clings to me tightly and looks up and me with her teary face before she buries it in my chest.
> “I-I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to get out, and… you rescued me…”
> She shudders as I hug her.
> We manage to share a tender moment after I slap her hand away from sliding between her legs.
> After a while, we go downstairs to sit on her couch.
> It might be more accurate to say that I sat on the couch.
> Sophie has, once again, decided I’m the superior seat.
> I try to get her off, but she’s pouting too much to listen.
> At least her wings aren’t in my face too much.
> She leans back into me, resting her head on my shoulder.
> “Sooo… I, uh, came to give you your clothes and wallet back.”
> She mumbles a ‘thank you,’ but stays quiet otherwise.
> “That was… some impressive technique back there.”
> “Yeah, I dunno how you managed all that yourself, it looked pretty flashy.”
> “I did work really hard on it… I did a lot of reading and it looked pretty fun…”
> “Oh, really? I noticed you… looked at all that stuff when you were over.”
> She squirms a bit in my lap.
> Damn, that’s a fine ass.
> “W-well, I thought it would be interesting to know about… t-that… I’m surprised you didn’t… well, I mean, I was all helpless and I worked really hard to make it look good, so you could have at least… p-played with me a little…”
> I won’t say it didn’t cross my mind, but like hell I’m going to tell her that.
> “Sophie, you thought you were alone, right?”
> “W-well… yeah… I don’t know if I’m ready to do it in front of you yet, I mean, it’s really slow, a-and-“
> “Right. So what exactly was your plan if you got stuck like you did and there wasn’t anyone to rescue you?”
> “W-what? Well, I mean, I didn’t mean to… it’s just that it got so easy and I kept going and then I wanted to…”
> “Wanted to what? You need to be careful, Sophie! What were you even doing this for, anyway?”
> She mutters something so quiet it’s incomprehensible.
> “What? I didn’t catch that.”
> “I… I saw that you liked this kind of stuff… a-and I thought maybe I could… m-make some for you…”
> “Make what?”
> “I know it’s silly, but… I-I got a little jealous of those pictures… I-I want you to… well… that is… I kind of wanted to make some stuff for you to… t-touch… um… y-you could watch, and…”
> How am I supposed to respond to this, exactly?
> I mean, I should be pissed, I’m pretty sure, but…
> It’s kind of flattering that she wanted to make porn of herself for me.
> She looks a little nervous and shifts herself again.
> Oh, hello again, boner, you probably should stop dropping by unannounced, it’s a bit inconvenient.
> Sophie looks back at me, blushing, but a smile is spreading across her face.
> She rocks her hips against me, my dick settling between her legs.
> She slowly slides back and forth, rubbing me with her ass, still covered by nothing but her swimsuit.
> “Sophie, w-what are you doing?”
> “Hmm, oh, just trying to find a comfortable spot, something’s poking me a little…”
> “Sorry, hang on, why don’t you just-“
> “Oh, I wonder what it could be~? Maybe my Al likes the thought of l-looking at my body?”
> “N-no, that’s… well, that’s not necessary, okay?”
> “Oh, no, I want to do anything that would please you… I never got to ask, b-but… when we were, um, k-kissing… was it good?”
> She seems awfully bashful for someone trying to jerk me off and pretend it wasn’t on purpose.
> “Ah… I’d be lying if I said no…”
> A smile lights up her face.
> “Well, I was wondering… d-do you want to do it again?”
> I really shouldn’t, I mean-
> She seems to take my blush for assent and turns around, straddling my lap and facing me.
> She brings a hand up to stroke my face.
> “C-can we?”
> Those big, blue eyes are making me feel guilty.
> I draw closer and our noses touch.
> She squeaks a bit and closes her eyes.
> Our lips touch softly at first, but Sophie is certainly eager, if nothing else.
> She runs her fingers through my hair as she presses deeper, probing with her tongue.
> She wraps us in her wings again, blocking out everything but this.
> I find myself pulling her further into an embrace by her hips.
> She shifts her butt again, pulling away from the kiss.
> She looks down at my crotch and gives me a nervous look.
> “D-does it hurt?”
> She runs her hand up my thigh.
> “I-I could… if you wanted me to… I mean… I-I want to…”
> Sophie slides her hands up my shirt, onto my chest, and presses her breasts against me.
> I shouldn’t.
> I really, really shouldn’t.
> But Jesus, I can’t even think straight any more.
> I bring my hands down, taking two handfuls of her ass.
> She shudders and pushes herself into my hands.
> “A-ah! Al… C-can I?”
> Sliding a hand down my stomach, her fingers stop at the waistband of my pants and trace the edge of my belt.
> Well, this is happening now, might as well stop being scared about it.
> I take hold of Sophie’s swimsuit and pull on it, the fabric rubbing between her legs and illicting a moan.
> “D-don’t… I-I’ll c-ah… I want to make you feel good…”
> She reaches down, cupping her hand over my dick and rubbing the heel of her hand against my jeans.
> “Ah… It’s really Al’s… I’m really touching him…”
> She hurriedly unbuckles my belt and pops the button on my pants before pulling them downwards, along with my underwear.
> She gasps as my cock springs free, and… is he drooling?
> “O-oh! I forgot… I was wondering, Alex… I know you like it, so… D-do you want to… Ah, before… I mean… Did you want me to be… t-tied up?”
> “Don’t you think we’ve had enough of you getting stuck for one day? And look at your wrists, they’re all red.”
> She looks a bit downcast, but nods.
> “Okay… W-will you do it some other time, though?”
> “I… W-we’ll see, alright?”
> I cough and avert my eyes from hers.
> It feels like she could convince me to get pulled into her pace if I stared into them too long.
> I jump a little as she runs a finger along my shaft and drops to her knees between my legs.
> She looks like she’s in a trance as she smells it and starts rubbing it on her face.
> “Ahhh… It smells like Al…”
> “Uh, S-Sophie?”
> “Oh! S-sorry, I just got… distracted a little…”
> She cradles my balls with one hand as she slowly strokes the shaft up and down, being only slightly more discreet about rubbing it on her face.
> After a while, she looks up at me with those blue eyes and brushes her hair behind her ear.
> “Could you h-hold my hair, Al? It’s okay if you want to, um, pull it a little bit…”
> I gather as much of her short hair behind her as I can into a sort of mock-ponytail for her and look down.
> “This is… I mean, just… don’t push yourself, okay?”
> She smiles and kisses the tip of my dick, her breath tickling a little.
> “O-one more thing? Can you, um, tell me what to do? M-maybe be a little…mean?”
> “I mean, maybe, j-just something like ‘start sucking’ and then… I mean, um, it’s okay if you don’t want to…”
> Jesus christ this is embarrassing.
> Call her names? Shit, man.
> I mean, I’ve done it before, but I was pretty pissed…
> “Haha, I mean, it was probably, well, silly… It’s okay, j-“
> “I don’t understand what you’re so nervous about now. Stuttering with my dick in your hands? Maybe you should get to putting that mouth to better use, you filthy angel.”
> She looks as shocked as I am about the fact that came out of my mouth.
> I tried to think of all the times she’s inconvenienced me or pissed me off, but that was pretty hars-
> “Y-Yes master!”
> She runs her tongue from the base to tip of my dick before taking it so deeply into her mouth her eyes start watering.
> “iih iih ‘ood ‘asder?”
> Didn’t catch a word of that, but the vibrations from her talking make me shudder.
> She looks pleased and slowly draws her mouth back, letting her tongue trail down my dick and linger on the head.
> “P-please watch me carefully, Al…”
> She keeps her eyes locked on me when she presses back down, swirling her tongue around as she nearly took in everything again.
> Staying there, she pulls her swimsuit down to expose her breasts, and dips a hand down to pull the bottom aside.
> She starts bobbing her head back and forth on my dick, moaning periodically.
> Over the slurping noise she’s making, I can hear the telltale sound of her fingering herself.
> It looks like she’s having a hard time keeping her legs underneath her, even at a kneel.
> She shudders a few times, but never completely stops sucking, and her moaning and throat are getting to me.
> “S-ah-Sophie, I think I’m gonna… ah…”
> She pulls my dick out of her mouth and starts jerking me off as fast as she can.
> “Please, please cum for me! I want it, please, please, please!”
> She’s worked herself into a frenzy, fingerfucking herself at the same pace she’s playing with my cock.
> I can’t hold it any more, and explode onto her face and outstretched tongue.
> She almost screams in pleasure and falls onto her back, covered in white.
> “Ah… I belong to Al, now… it’s so good…”
> Her hips continue twitching for some time after it looks like she’s passed out.
> “F-fine… but I’m not going to wash these clothes ever again, though!”
> Goddamn it, fine.
> It took long enough to convince her to wash her face off and take off the weird cosplay.
> She turns and heads to the bathroom.
> Look, I don’t mind if she’s a bit weird sometimes, it can even be a bit charming.
> But I draw the line at walking around for the rest of the day with cum on her face.
> She comes back suspiciously quickly, but it does look like she’s washed up.
> As for clothing, she did do precisely what I asked her to.
> “Sophie, could you tell me why, exactly, you’re naked?”
> “Well, you told me to take it off! Besides, I’m wearing socks, and… w-well, you’ve seen it all now, so it doesn’t really matter now, r-right? I like it when you look at me, anyway…”
> “For god’s… Okay. It’s a matter of scarcity, my dear, it wouldn’t be fun if we were both just used to it, right? So could you please do something about it?”
> She gives me an impish grin before strutting into the kitchen.
> “We~ll, if you insist, I guess. But you have to do just ooooone little thing, okay?”
> Fuck’s sake.
> She does the bare-ass minimum yet again, and a bit more literally this time.
> She’s decided her ensemble for the night is going to consist of thigh-high stockings and a ‘kiss the cook’ apron.
> She points at her chest smugly.
> “I’m afraid this is my price, Mr. Alexander, no negotiation. O-oh! I made sure to wash my mouth, so, um, don’t worry, okay?”
> Well, whatever, not like we haven’t kissed before.
> But like hell I’m letting her pull me into her pace.
> I step forward and put a finger under her chin, pulling her face tantalisingly close to mine.
> She blushes and closes her eyes, leaning forward, when-
> She gives a cry and her eyes fly open when a smack her bare butt.
> “Hey, w-“
> I silence her by pulling her into a kiss.
> Tastes like… strawberries?
> Sophie is still pouting a little, but she’s starting to get too into kissing to break away and complain.
> When we finally seperate, I grin at her.
> “Bet you wish you had a bit more on, hey?”
> She sashays away, wiggling her ass at me.
> “Hmm… nope. What do you want for dinner? I mean, if you want to stay…”
> Might as well, I guess.
> We end up having a nice fish meal, done up with some lemon, and chat for a while before I head home for the night.
> When I come in to work on Monday, there seems to be a lot of whispering going on behind my back.
> Oh, shit, Sophie didn’t say anything, did she?
> I mean, we could lose our jobs, and then we’d be blacklisted, then what would we do?
> I guess we’d have to live together and try to make ends meet.
> Jesus, there’s a long way to go before I’d trust Sophie to live with me every day, and-
> Someone punches me in the arm, and an arm is draped over my shoulder on the other side.
> I turn and find myself face-to-face with Carly and Yana, both grinning at me.
> “You ol’ dog, you! You didn’t tell me you liked the boss! Wouldn’t’ve been hitting on you last week if I knew!”
> Carly seems just as amused as Yana is.
> “So, you tamed the beast, eh? She reeks of you, kiddo! So, so! What’s she like in the sack, huh? One of those ‘do this, do that!’ types like a dark elf?”
> Shit, right.
> They can smell these things.
> “Nah, Carly, give him a sniff. Nothing on him, I bet she’s one of those kinds who wants someone else to be the boss, eh? She dress up for you?”
> Yana bursts out laughing when I blush.
> “C’mon, guys, you’ve gotta keep this secret. What about our jobs?”
> They both giggle at that.
> “Come on, Alex, look around, we’re mostly monsters, here. You think we don’t know already? And you think you’re gonna get canned at a place that’s mostly monsters anyway?”
> “Yeah, Carly here met her husband over in accounting, actually! Man, that’s got nothing on this, though! C’mon, c’mon, fill us in!”
> I’m dragged off to the lunchroom to explain myself to the two of them and a few nosy girls who seemed to think I couldn’t see them peeking through the door.
> I spare a lot of the details, they don’t need to know about Sophie’s, uh, hobby, not to mention some of the more embarrassing tidbits.
> They keep prodding me about the sex, though, so I end up telling them we aren’t really an item, per se, it’s just that things kind of ended up happening.
> The two suddenly go stone-faced and just stare at me.
> Oh, shit, did I break some unwritten rule?
> I know mamono are possessive about their men, but-
> “Girls, I’d appreciate if you didn’t listen to Mr. Alexander too much about this… issue.”
> Sophie rests her hand on my shoulder.
> I look up, and while she does seem to look a bit friendlier with her glasses on, holy shit, she looks pissed.
> She pulls me to standing and pushes me against a wall.
> “Despite what you may have heard, this man is mine. We’re not, well, official yet… but… don’t steal him, okay?”
> Sophie leans over, planting a kiss on my cheek.
> The room bursts out laughing, all the tension gone.
> A big crowd swarms in, and Sophie ends up talking about me and what happened in much greater detail than I would, even going as far as showing off the rope burns to a few of her closer friends.
> Well, they’re… certainly not shy, are they?
> “I’m sorry! Please forgive me! I just, well, I wanted to take control of the situation, and I mean, well… I didn’t want to embarrass you, but I just, um, well, I got excited and I didn’t want anyone to misunderstand, so…”
> “I… Well, it’s fine, but I was surprised you told them all that stuff about… what happened with me finding you.”
> She smiles and glances down.
> “I’m sorry… I’m a f-filthy angel, aren’t I?”
> She’s the one with the chuunibiyou and I’m the one being made fun of for saying stupid shit?
> “Big talk for ‘dark guardian Sophie-chan,’ don’t you think?”
> She sticks her chin up proudly.
> “I am your guardian! And I’ll protect you, no matter what! I won’t let the bad guys even get near you!”
> Dang, I was hoping for at least mutual embarrassment.
> Dunno why she’s so stuck on this guardian thing, though, I happen to be aware that she was born in the same hospital I was.
> “Actually, I was thinking, well, i-it’s up to you, really…”
> She looks troubled, and lets the silence sit for a bit too long as she twiddles her thumbs anxiously.
> “Sooo… are you going to tell me?”
> “Well, I thought it might be nice to spend some more time together, and I know you need some help around the house, so I was thinking I could help you out with that, m-maybe?”
> So, um, hi, Sophie here.
> I’m finally getting to go to Alex’s house!
> Well, I usually go anyway, it’s just nice to be near him.
> But now he said I could help him around the house!
> We decided we’d wait until the week was over for me to start, but it’s finally time, so I’m heading over to his house now.
> It was kind of hard waiting, especially when I had to see those other girls at work fawning all over him all the time and getting all friendly.
> Like they even know anything about him.
> I knew I should have asserted myself more, they seemed like they just thought it was funny that we were going out.
> Well, maybe they’re just trying to be nice to Al, I mean who wouldn’t?
> Anyway, I could hardly even sleep last night because of how excited I was.
> I… might’ve texted Al a couple times.
> Just some harmless things!
> ‘Are you up? <3’ or ‘I can’t sleep >.<‘
> Maybe… more than a few times.
> It doesn’t matter too much though! I mean, he was asleep, so when he sees that I texted him a couple dozen times, he’ll probably feel loved! Right!
> I hope it didn’t bother him…
> I finally land on his doorstep, but I wonder, should I ring the bell or just go in?
> Maybe I could text him again?
> No, that would definitely bother him.
> I ring the doorbell and shift around a little bit.
> It felt kind of weird flying in this maid uniform, but I worked really hard on it, and I definitely want him to see.
> I mean, when I looked at… um… his p-por… um, those pictures, it looked like he really like maids, too.
> When Al finally opens the door, I almost forget to say anything.
> I mean, he’s so handsome and his eyes are so kind and that new haircut he got looks so good and even in the morning when he’s still in his pyjamas he just looks perfect and-
> “Didn’t you say you’d come at 10, Sophie?”
> Well, I meant to, really.
> But I thought, maybe I should show up 15 minutes early, just so he didn’t get worried.
> And when I was sitting at home and eating breakfast, I was just wondering and wondering if Al had any to eat himself.
> So maybe I’d go a little earlier than that, just to make sure he had food to eat.
> I really meant to go at 9, but I was just so excited I couldn’t wait around any more.
> I mean, what’s just a little earlier, right?
> I work up the resolve to tell Al my master plan.
> He’s so understanding, if I just tell it to him the right way, I just know that he’ll figure out I meant well.
> I take a breath and-
> “U-um… ha ha…I’m sorry I’m so early, master, but I, well, it’s… breakfast… excited, I mean… S-sorry…”
> NO NO NO!
> It wasn’t supposed to come out like that!
> Al looks a bit sceptical.
> I hope he’s not mad I called him master…
> He liked it before, I think, and I just sort of thought it’d be right for a maid to…
> “Well, Ms. Maid, why don’t you go sit down in the kitchen.”
> I sit down next to his favourite spot at the table.
> I wonder what he’s going to do?
> I hope he doesn’t decide I was a bad girl again and bend me over the table and-
> “Is cereal okay? I don’t have too much else.”
> I knew it!
> Well, maybe I was a little worried, but Al is so nice!
> He got the wrong idea, but now he’s making me food!
> “Um… yes please… thank you so much…”
> I’m not that hungry, but I wouldn’t turn this down for the world.
> He sits down beside me and slides me a bowl of his favourite cereal, Jinko Flakes.
> When I turn to look at him, he smiles at me.
> He’s sosososososo nice to me and he’s so kind…
> I love him so much.
> I pick up a spoonful of cereal, but he stops me.
> “Uh, Sophie, you’ve got some hair in your face.”
> Oh, god, I probably look so stupid right now.
> But he just laughs and brushes it behind my ear when I blush.
> I think I’m going to faint.
> We talked for a while and worked out a plan.
> I tried to tell him to just sit back and relax, but he told me he wasn’t going to let me do everything because I wasn’t really a maid.
> He said he’d make all the meals, and said I could clean up the living room and do the laundry while he did his own room.
> I know he probably just didn’t want me to see those books under his bed.
> I’m really glad he liked that time he, well, found me… tied up… that he got some books about how to do it himself.
> He’s been practicing a little on his chair now and then with the blinds closed.
> It’s kind of exciting, I’m kind of sad I ruined the surprise for myself.
> I start humming a random tune as I start to pick up things from the living room and sort them into piles.
> Al isn’t really a slob, per se, he does a bit clean-up once a week or so, but he does kind of let things pile up when he’s tired.
> That’s okay, his guardian angel is here to save him.
> I giggle a little.
> What if the evil organisation was just making this mess to stress him out?
> I try to channel my inner kikimora and imagine smacking all the bad guys in the face with a broom as I keep cleaning.
> I eventually get everything back in its place and decide to check to see how the master of the house is doing.
> I peek in his door (just a little!) before I knock.
> It looks like he’s trying to look up recipies online.
> He looks so focussed, it’s really cute.
> I decide to knock now, and he jumps when I call out to him.
> “Ma~ster! How are you doing in there?”
> “SHIT! Uh, fine, Sophie, just taking a little break, hang on a sec.”
> He shuts the monitor on his computer off and opens the door.
> “Do you have to call me ‘Master?'”
> “Well, I’m your humble maid, aren’t I, master?”
> He sighs, but doesn’t complain.
> “I was wondering if I could pick up the laundry from your room, I’m about to start working on it.”
> “Oh, yeah, go ahead.”
> I step into his room and smile at him.
> I’m glad he likes me wearing my glasses, I look so mean when I don’t have them on…
> And I get to see him better, too!
> I start picking up his laundry, trying not to get too caught up in how nice it smells.
> But, I mean, his cologne is just perfect, and even just the smell of his body makes me feel so nice…
> I notice he’s standing behind me and looking like he wants to say something.
> “O-oh, I’m sorry master, I just- well… s-sorry…”
> “Ah, no, I was… well, I was wondering what you’d like for lunch and dinner, since I’m making them.”
> I manage to surpress my overwhelming urge to scream with joy.
> He was looking everything up for me?
> That’s so, so, so, so nice!
> And he was being bashful about it?
> “Um, well, anything master makes for his maid would be perfect… even if it was dog food, if master made it, it would be the best thing I’ve ever eaten…”
> WAIT, THAT LAST PART WASN’T SUPPOSED TO COME OUT!
> I mean, it’s not as if it isn’t true, though.
> Even if he made me eat on the floor out of a dog bowl and make dog noises I’d love it.
> It’d be kind of exciting, too…
> “No, no, since you came over to help, I want to treat you. What’s your favourite food?”
> He didn’t even say anything about the embarrassing part!
> And I mean, he wants to treat me?
> I think I know what to do.
> “R-really? I mean, I know you make a really good lamb shank… I mean, if you feel like making it…”
> He puffs out his chest a little bit.
> It’s his signature dish, and he’s really proud of it, it has some wine, rosemary and garlic in it.
> “Well, I guess if it’s my cute maid’s request, what can I do?”
> “Well, I’ll go get started on lunch then, and then I’ll set up the slow-cooker.”
> I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.
> “Thank you so, so much, master.”
> He blushes, and I turn to leave the room before he can say another word.
> I can feel him looking at me.
> It’s kind of embarrassing how short I cut this skirt, now that I actually have him looking at me in it…
> I shouldn’t be doing this.
> I mean, I know it’s wrong.
> What would Al think if he caught me rolling around in his dirty laundry?
> But it just feels so good…
> The whole ‘rubbing myself with a pair of his underwear’ thing is probably helping.
> M-maybe I can just get away with this quickly…
> I run a finger over my panties.
> I’m so horny I can’t even think any more.
> I hold his underwear up to my face and sniff.
> It smells just like him…
> My hand slides deep into my panties and I run a finger from the bottom to top of my slit, shivering in anticipation.
> I think I’ll just take these off…
> I slide my already uncomfortably wet underwear down, putting it on the basket where I won’t forget it.
> Grinding the heel of my palm against my clit, I start thinking about Al.
> He’s just been so nice to me today, a-and he called me cute!
> I wonder if he thinks I look sexy in this maid outfit…
> I run my hands all over my body… Imagine master taking his… s-slutty little maid…
> Touching me wherever he wanted-
> I roughly grab one of my breasts and pull down my shirt.
> Bending my over his desk-
> I stick my butt into the air and run my other hand up my wet thigh.
> I need it so badly…
> But he’d probably tease me and call me bad for wearing such a short skirt in front of him.
> I slap my own butt, thinking of the time he spanked me.
> And then he’d take me, just as it was really starting to hurt.
> I finally slide two fingers into my drooling hole, using my thumb to press against my clit.
> OH YESYESYES
> I can hardly stifle a moan, but I manage to do it, pressing his boxers against my face.
> I piston my fingers in and out as fast as I can, already on the precipice of cumming.
> I take hold of my clit with my other hand, raising my butt farther into the air and squirming under the pleasure.
> YESYESYESYESYESYESYES I’M SO CLOSE!
> “FFFFFFFF- AH-A-AL!”
> I hear the sound of a pot being set down in the kitchen.
> “Yeah, what’s up Sophie? The laundry machine’s a bit of a pain to get started, I’ll just come set it up for you.”
> In a panic, I shove the entire basket into the laundry machine as fast as I can, but-
> Oh no no no, it still smells like… um, m-me.
> GOT IT.
> Soap smells, right?
> I take the bottle of soap and dump some on the floor where I was lying.
> I manage to put the bottle back down- just as Al comes in.
> “Oh, spill? That’s okay, there’s actually some paper towels in the cabinet there.
> “I-I’m sorry master, it just slipped out of my hand…”
> I bow and-
> Oh, no.
> MY PANTIES ARE IN THE WASHING MACHINE AND HE’S STARTING IT NOW.
> He handed me the paper towel, too, so obviously he wants me to wipe up the soap.
> Tears in my eyes, I kneel down, trying not to let him see under my skirt.
> With a shaky hand, I start wiping up what I can while keeping my back ramrod-straight.
> “You okay, Sophie? It happens, don’t worry about it.”
> Actually, master, I made this mess while I was masturbating to you and now I’m not wearing any panties even though I have to be on my hands and knees in front of you, and I still feel like I’m on the edge of cumming.
> He’d definitely, definitely hate me if he knew.
> I decide to actually start working on it before he starts asking too many questions.
> I try to cover up my backside as much as I can with my wings, hoping he doesn’t see what a state I’m in, with so much of something that obviously isn’t soap running down my legs.
> I never thought I’d be happy to see Al leave, but I’m relieved.
> Crisis averted for now, but I’m going to have to be more careful than I’ve ever been in my life.
> I’m so horny that I can’t think of him doing anything other than making me cum again and again, but I know if he actually finds out, it’ll be bad…
> I do a few more little things while he gets lunch ready, thinking the entire time about where I’m going to sit.
> Next to him has to be right out, he could just look down at me and see.
> Maybe across?
> But then he’d be looking straight at me!
> I can’t do sideways, either, then I wouldn’t even have the table to cover me up.
> I guess I could-
> “Hey, Sophie, lunch is ready when you are!”
> “Y-yes, master!”
> I decide to sit across from him, just to he can’t see from where he sits.
> When he sets down our plates, though, my face goes a burning hot shade of red.
> W-what if he drops something?
> He asks me if I’m doing okay, but lunch otherwise goes fine- I guess internally chanting every prayer I could think of the whole time payed off.
> We finish, and I rush to the laundry room right away.
> The washing machine is done!
> I briefly consider putting the soaking panties back on, but that might be even more suspicious than being without them…
> I sigh and load the dryer, praying that the time passes as quickly as possible.
> Next order of business.
> That entire meal I had to use every drop of endurance I had to not just start masturbating while Al was looking at me.
> I can’t even think any more.
> It’s time to bring out my secret weapon.
> I take the little pink egg out of my pocket and turn it on.
> It won’t be too loud will it?
> I just need to finish now.
> I stick it inside me and put the controller in my sock.
> No more games this time, no laying down, I just need to finish.
> I lean against the wall and turn the vibrator up higher.
> I’m already shaking when I hike my skirt up just enough to press two fingers against my clit.
> Rubbing faster and faster, I’m panting when-
> Al opens the door.
> I manage to pull my skirt down just in time, but the rotor inside me is still moving relentlessly.
> “Hey, just finished up my room, would you come help me with the office?”
> “A-ah… Yes, master, o-of course, I’d l-ah-love to.”
> I wobble a little, but he steadies me by putting a hand on the small of my back.
> “You sure you’re okay? I don’t want you to push yourself if you’re sick, you know.”
> “Of c-mmm-course, there’s nothing more important than m-making you happy…”
> He gives me a dubious look, but takes my hand.
> “Okay, but take it easy, okay? C’mon, you can just lean on me if you’re feeling wobbly.”
> HE’S HOLDING MY HAND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> He guides me to the next room oh-so-gently and tenderly.
> “Do you hear a bug or something, by the way?”
> “U-um, that’s just me humming! See?! HMMM HMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMM HMMMMMMM!”
> “Uh, okay?”
> We’ve been working in his office for an hour now.
> Can people die from not cumming for too long?
> It really, really, really, really feels like it.
> I’ve been teetering on the edge the entire time we’ve been here, and he’s been watching me too closely to do anything about the vibrator.
> “You sure you’re okay, Sophie? You look like you’re slowing down a bit.”
> Oh, really, it’s no problem master, but you could do one thing for me…
> GET OVER HERE, BEND ME OVER AND FUCK ME GODDAMN RAW I NEED YOU SO BADLY I CAN’T EVEN GODDAMN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
> That’s it, I can’t stand it any more.
> When he turns back around to work again, I jack up the vibrator to max and almost have my knees give out.
> I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum
> Please, please, please, please don’t let Al look.
> He turns around and walks toward me.
> GOD HAS ABANDONED ME
> I-I don’t think I can hold it much longer.
> “So I think that’s about it! Thanks a lot for helping out, Miss Maid.“
> He laughs a bit at that.
> AL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT PLEASE, PLEASE SHUT UP AND LOOK AWAY.
> Instead he puts his hand on my head and brushes my hair back before caressing my cheek tenderly.
> Suddenly, I feel like I’m falling.
> Oh, my knees gave out.
> I cum hard.
> The hardest I’ve ever come in my life.
> The vibrator pops out of me as I land on the floor, spasming and making a mess of the carpet.
> I can’t even muster the strength to get back up and cover myself.
> When I regain my senses a minute later, I see that Al’s rolled me over and is looking down at me, concerned.
> Oh, no.
> He’s holding the vibrator in his hand, too.
> It can’t end like this, please no.
> I need to make him forgive me.
> ‘Sorry’ doesn’t even begin to cut it!
> ‘Please forgive me?’
> No, words aren’t even enough.
> Maybe I should pledge my life to him?
> I mean, I already pretty much did that, though…
> I need to show him I’m sorry for being so, so bad and making a mess and being so stupid!
> What am I going to do…
> Sophie’s been acting pretty weird today.
> Okay, let me back up on that, more weird than usual.
> She was doing the laundry without wearing any underwear for some reason, to begin with, but I figured it was better not to ask.
> Looks like she was trying to seduce me or something afterwards, but she ended up passing out from overstimulating herself in front of me.
> I mean, okay, strange, but I can see it happening.
> But why this?
> Sophie’s on her hands and knees, her skirt flipped up.
> She’s crying, licking my shoes and just saying ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!’ over and over.
> I thought she got really embarrassed when she fell over and made a mess of the floor.
> She ran out crying, so I thought she went home.
> But… she came back with my shoes from the door and asked me to put them on.
> “Sophie… um…”
> She looks up at me, tears streaming down her face.
> “I’M SORRY MASTER, I WAS A BAD GIRL, PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!”
> I pull her to her feet, and she cowers a little, like I’m going to hit her.
> I brush some hair out of her face but she’s not willing to look me in the eyes.
> “Sophie, you did something kind of dumb, but… I don’t really get why you think I’m that angry. I mean, don’t you think I’d be mad at you for other things if this was going to piss me off?”
> She trembles and looks a bit unsure of herself.
> I decide I might as well, it could help.
> I take her by the chin and pull her into a kiss.
> Jesus christ, this tastes like shoes.
> It takes a lot of concentration not to pull away in disgust, but I manage it until her wings start perking up a little again.
> She pulls away to look up at me, some hope coming back into her eyes.
> “Y-you mean it…?”
> I pull a tissue off the table and wipe her tears away with it.
> “Why would I lie to you? Don’t worry, okay? Your life isn’t over.”
> She hugs me tightly, folding us in her wings.
> I gently kiss her forehead to reassure her and squeeze her back.
> “We can talk about this later, when you’ve calmed down, okay?”
> She nods into my chest.
> “I’m going to get the rest of dinner ready, so would you mind cleaning this up? As exciting as it was for both of us, I wouldn’t want it to stain.”
> When I leave the room, I manage to catch the sound of Sophie squealing in relieved joy and rolling around on the floor.
> Dinner was… okay.
> I think the food turned out well, but it was a little awkward, seeing as Sophie demanded we hold hands the entire time.
> She didn’t really explain what happened that well, but whatever.
> Seems like she didn’t really mean it to happen like this, but I’m never letting her live down squirting from headpats.
> Sophie seems pretty exhausted now, though.
> We sat on the couch for all of 5 minutes before she rested her head on my shoulder and went to sleep.
> Not a bad day, all-in-all, considering.
> Cute maid, got a lot done, made a decent dinner for once and now I’ve got a nice girl cuddled up to me.
> Can’t be that bad.
> I chuckle to myself.
> “Feel like I should take her on a date or something after all this, though.”
> Ah, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt safe talking to myself. It’s-
> Sophie’s eyes shoot open and are immediately sparkling.
> “C-can we, Al?!”
> I managed to convince Sophie after that to wait until the next weekend instead of dragging us out that same night.
> That said, she’s been bragging about it to everyone at work all week.
> I’ve gotten more than a few knowing nudges from Yana and company about it.
> Though that’s probably also about Sophie kissing me at work now, every time she meets with me.
> Not all bad, though, Yana did give me the idea of going to an art gallery after dinner.
> Sounded pretty good to me, fairly classy, so I got us reservations at a fairly upscale restaurant, too.
> I found out Sophie’s a sucker for cheesy stuff like that when I told her.
> I’m pretty sure her entire body was vibrating when she hugged me.
> She said a fair bit about it, but I’m not sure what any of it was- it all came out so quickly it was mixed together.
> She seemed really happy about it though.
> When I finally show up at her house to pick her up- wow.
> She looks fantastic.
> The frilly white dress, tan sweater and black ribbon around her neck leave her looking much more… angelic than usual.
> She notices me eyeing her up and grins, spinning to give me a full look.
> “D-does it look good? I wanted it to look just right.”
> It’s almost shocking to see her looking like this, between the usual business suit and cosplay, I don’t think I’ve seen her in normal clothing before.
> “Perfect. Not bringing your glasses, though? Aren’t your eyes going to hurt?”
> She gives me a smug look and pulls a pair of lorgnette glasses out of her purse and holds them up to her eyes.
> “Perfect, right?”
> You can take the angel out of cosplay, but you can’t take the cosplay out of the angel.
> I sigh and hold out my elbow.
> “Shall we, Sophie?”
> She can’t hold back her
kool-aid smile and squeals a bit, wrapping her entire body around my arm.
> I manage to hold her back from holding one arm on the drive over, but she decides to hold onto my thigh instead, and I have to swat her wandering hand away once or twice.
> We get to the restaurant with fairly little incident, and I pick a parking lot midway between our meal and the (thankfully close) art gallery.
> We walk over, Sophie clinging tightly to me and shooting venomous looks at other girls we see in the street.
> Didn’t know she could be this possessive.
> Let’s cross our fingers for no yandere incidents, shall we?
> I open the door for a blushing Sophie and we step into the restaurant.
> I step up to the front desk and-
> I don’t know which of the three of us looks more surprised, Sophie, me, or the hellhound from a few weeks ago.
> She practically crawls over the desk to point an accusing claw at Sophie.
> Sophie looks like she’s already pissed that our date’s been interrupted.
> “Y’ blue-ballin’ cunt! Ya think y’ can jus’ leave me on me Jack Jones spoilin’ for a fight? I haven’t been able to think about anything but your body since y’ left me sittin’ there!”
> Sophie cocks her head.
> “I-I didn’ mean it like that! That is, yer definitely a looker, b’ I mean, n-not like that!”
> I wasn’t aware that hellhounds were capable of blushing.
> “Look, I get hot under th’ collar just thinkin’ about ya, ya tart. Wait, FUCK! Look, I ain’t no feckin’ ginger beer, alright?”
> The silence sits for just too long to be comfortable.
> “Er, I didn’t really catch much of that, but… do you like her?”
> The hellhound turns to face me, fire in her eyes and looking fed up.
> “WHAT’S IT TO YOU, YA TINY-DICKED BERK? I BET YOU WOULDN’T KNOW A HOT PEICE OF ARSE IF IT SMACKED YOU IN THE FACE!”
> I don’t care if some random monster thinks I have a small dick.
> But I draw the line at making some half-assed attempt at hitting on my date and then calling my fucking weirdo a hot peice of ass.
> “Excuse me, miss, but could you tell me precisely what the fuck you just called my girlfriend?”
> She looks somewhat taken aback.
> “Yer what? I bet she can hardly stand ya! She needs a real woman in ‘er life. I’m getting that fight, then pinning ‘er down for the rest a’ the night.”
> “Sorry, Sophie, could you excuse us a minute?”
> I pull the hellhound into an empty private seating area and give her the scoop on our relationship.
> Well, okay, maybe I added a thing or two.
> Like having my family hostage and baking her blood into food for me.
> Maybe also killing a past love rival or two.
> Oh, and the part where I said she’d probably play nice in their relationship until she suddenly drowned the hellhound in bleach, like the last girlfriend I had.
> Okay, so maybe the only true part is that she was stalking me.
> Nevertheless, when we come back out she apologises profusely and gives me an uncomfortable smile.
> I told her not to tell anyone because then Sophie would pull the kill switch.
> Not sure Sophie caught any of it, though, she was looking a little woozy.
> “G-girlfriend… r-really?”
> I smile and kiss her on the cheek.
> “Of course, I’d never betray you.”
> Maybe this was hamming it up a bit too much for the audience, but Sophie seems to like it, attemping to impersonate a slime and melting into my arms.
> I half-carry her to the table and we sit down to a lovely candlelit dinner.
> Their steaks were excellent, and from what I heard from Sophie, the fish was perfect.
> Sophie was in the middle of playing footsie with me under the table when our server comes out to give us the bill.
> When she hands me the receipt, she also surreptitiously slides another piece of paper into my hand.
> A phone number, followed with ‘I know some people who might be able to help, give me a call if you change your mind. ~H’
> I sputter a little bit, trying not to laugh.
> “Al? Something wrong?”
> “Nope, better than expected, actually.”
> We get back to the entrance of the restaurant, but Sophie stops me before I open the door.
> “A-alex? Could you, um, hold this for me? J-just until the gallery is okay…”
> She presses something I can’t really see into my hand and closes my fingers over it.
> I’m suspicious, just based on her blush alone, but whatever, let’s not ruin the date.
> When I step forward, I roll my ankle a bit and fall to the floor.
> Sophie gives a gasp and falls on top of me.
> I look at her, and besides her face being as red as a cherry, I notice that the ribbon around her neck seems to be being pulled by…
> I look at my hand- or more precisely, the fishing line in it.
> She didn’t.
> “Sophie, did you… actually?”
> She tries to stutter something out, but it ends up being completely unintelligible.
> Well, this is her thing, isn’t it.
> No reason to interrupt a pleasant date for this, I suppose.
> I pull on the makeshift collar to bring her face closer to mine and smile as pleasantly as I can.
> “Well, shall we leave, my dear?”
> She nods excitedly, and we both stand back up, trying to hide the leash in my hand.
> Alright, art gallery, here we come.
> I open the door.
Get on the floor
Everybody walk the Sophiesaur
> It’s a bit intimidating, how busy the street is tonight.
> It’s one of those pedestrian-oriented streets, so people are milling about everywhere.
> Can’t back out now, though.
> I give Sophie a tug to get her moving and she gasps, giving me an uncertain smile.
> She’s been so smug all week, it’s kind of fun, seeing her so nervous about her own plan.
> “Something wrong, Sophie?”
> “O-of course not, Mas- …Al. This is a wonderful night out. E-even more than I could have hoped for…”
> She rubs her legs together and gives me a doe-eyed look.
> Sophie certainly knows how to push all the right buttons, doesn’t she?
> She gives a quiet moan when I pull on the wire again to get her moving down the street.
> Things go remarkably smoothly for the first block.
> Nobody walks between the two of us or seems to take special notice of the man in the suit and his strangely red-faced angel friend.
> But you know, I’d hate for Sophie to have gone to all this trouble just to have a boringly average walk.
> I -absentmindedly, of course- start to walk beside a few signposts.
> Sophie’s movements start to get more and more panicked, trying to avoid being caught up on them.
> Heh, this is actually pretty fun.
> Sophie surreptitiously dodges away from another pole and-
> Not one, but two random passers-by get caught between us.
> Two elves, one light and one dark, almost end up knocking Sophie over.
> The dark elf gives me a piercing stare for a moment.
> She reaches out, touching the fishing line between my hand and my date’s neck.
> She looks between the two of us briefly, and a lecherous smile spreads across her face.
> Oh, fuck.
> She’s going to take advantage of this, isn’t she?
> We’ll probably get dragged into some kind of debauched orgy and then Sophie’ll probably find someone who likes doing this kind of thing with her more and-
> I ball up my fists, getting ready to fight off the second weird sex freak of the night, when-
> The dark elf gives me a thumbs-up and grins, guiding her friend around the two of us.
> I keep an eye on them, but they don’t seem to be making any weird moves.
> All she does is lean over to the other elf and whisper something in her ear.
> The light elf goes cherry-red and her friend laughs at her embarrassment.
> Jesus fuck that was terrifying.
> I take the next opportunity to pull Sophie into a side street and get ready to apologise.
> “Sophie, I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t mean-“
> She grabs onto my jacket and looks up with starry eyes.
> “M-master… it was so scary, but then she understood, a-and… w-well… I’m glad someone knows I belong to you…”
> Wait, what?
> She liked it?
> “Um, I’m glad you’re not mad or scared, but, uh, maybe we should avoid doing that again.”
> “Ah, okay, master…”
> She shivers a little bit and reaches into a pocket.
> “Um, c-could you maybe do something different, then, master? Please?”
> She slips something into my pocket and takes a step back.
> I reach in, finding something small and plastic… a remote?
> She… well, I guess she had the courage for the collar thing, didn’t she?
> Really, though? Another vibrator?
> “Um, it’s on… l-low right now…”
> “Oh, so I should make sure I don’t touch your head? Wouldn’t want you to make a mess on the street, now.”
> She pouts a bit at that.
> “M-master! That wasn’t… P-please take this seriously… I- AH!”
> I interrupt her by turning the remote up a setting and making her cry out.
> “Oh? I didn’t know the kind of pets who need to be walked on leashes were in a position to make demands.”
> She blushes furiously and covers her mouth.
> “Maybe my little angel would prefer that she make a mess on the street, in front of everyone? She seemed so eager to show her loyalty to everyone earlier…”
> “N-no! Please, I’m sorry, master… I love it when you t-touch me… and- a-ah… my master can do whatever he wants with his pet…I-mmm-I won’t talk back to master any more.”
> She looks like she’s ready to cum based on the discussion alone, so I turn the toy back down to its lowest setting.
> If she wants me to be mean, we can play a little bit before we head to the gallery.
> I decide to cut through a mostly-empty dog park as a slight detour on the way to the museum.
> It’s sparsely-lit, so we should be able to get up to a bit here.
> As soon as we get in, I turn to Sophie and give her my most pleasant-looking smile as I spin the remote’s dial.
> She buries her face in my chest and moans.
> “Hmm? What’s wrong? This was your idea, wasn’t it?”
> “N-no… it’s -aaaah- nothing, sorry.”
> She stifles a scream when I jack the vibrations up higher.
> “Ah, I get it, this must be what they mean when they say ‘angelic choir.’ isn’t it?”
> She looks on the verge of pouting, but she’s having trouble staying focussed with my ministrations.
> I continue playing her like a
damn fiddle musical instrument for a while, until her legs seem ready to give out.
> “P-please, master, I need it…”
> “Hmm? What’s that? I’m already giving you a nice date, aren’t I?”
> “N-no, please, a-ahh… I need… u-um… you…”
> “Oh, no. In the park? You haven’t been just pretending to be a real angel, have you?”
> She looks like she’s going to cry.
> I put a hand on her face and kiss her.
> “I’m just kidding… It doesn’t matter to me what you are, you’ll always be Sophie to me.”
> She holds onto me tightly.
> “U-um… Please master… c-could you… well, I -mmmm- I mean, please…. um… well… f-fu… ah, um… h-hard…”
> She grinds herself against me and looks up with glassy eyes.
> “Now, now. You wouldn’t want the first time to be like this, would you? We’ll set everything up properly, maybe some candles, rose petals…”
> “O-okay… I -oh goodness- ah, p-please, though, master… I can’t go on l-like this… please, please, please let me -ah- finish…”
> She takes my hand and guides it to her bare thigh.
> “Well, you’ve been good, so I gueeeeess I could do something for you if you need it…”
> “YES, MASTER, PLEASE!”
> I teasingly trace my fingers further up her leg, and-
> I manage to see a jogger coming down the pathway before they can see us with much clarity and pull my hand away.
> Sophie looks like she’s starting to lose her patience, so I grab her hand and start to pull her away.
> I’d prefer to avoid making her wings turn black before a thorough session of raping me.
> “Not here, my dear. Let’s find somewhere more… private, shall we?”
> I find us a well-hidden spot in some trees a fair ways from the path where we shouldn’t be disturbed.
> Sophie’s panting, but not from the walk.
> Oh yeah, I forgot to turn the vibrator down from ‘max,’ didn’t I?
> She looks like she wants to say something, but words escape her, and she drops to her knees in front of me instead.
> “Oh, no, Sophie, I’m supposed to be treating you, aren’t I”
> I kneel down and lay her onto her back, her skirt riding up in the process.
> I stifle a snigger when I see she’s wearing white feather-and-halo patterned panties.
> I… kind of expected something else.
> Maybe she didn’t think she’d go through with this?
> Ah, well, they’re cute.
> And absolutely soaked.
> I pull her underwear down and off her legs, making sure to keep her hips off the ground by resting them on my knees.
> I teasingly brush her clit with a finger and run it down her labia, where the small, pink toy slides out at my touch.
> She shakes with the extra bit of stimulation and tries, only somewhat successfully, to avoid making too much noise.
> I lift her legs over my shoulders and lay light kisses up her thighs, trailing towards her drooling pussy.
> Laying a final kiss on her clitoris, I run my tongue along the entire length of her slit, lapping up as much as I could.
> I continue on, alternating between sucking on her clit and running my tongue along her labia, her moans getting louder and louder.
> After a short while, Sophie is practically yelling, and I decide to deal the finishing blow.
> I slide my tongue into her hole, swirling it around and pressing against the hot walls of her pussy.
> She crosses her legs behind my head and screams in pleasure, shuddering violently.
> I withdraw my face to find Sophie still shaking on the ground, exhausted.
> As Sophie recovers, I glance at my watch and-
> Ah, shit.
> She perks up a bit.
> “I-it isn’t closed yet, is it?”
> “Well, I mean, there’s about 45 minutes left, but if you’re feeling tired after…uh, that, we could just call it off for tonight, you know…”
> “NO! I-I mean, I don’t want all your plans to go to waste… I can make it, I promise! Just… um… c-could you carry me for a little bit?”
> I’m pretty sure she’s fine to walk after we get past the park exit, but she’s enjoying the princess carry enough to ham it up for a little longer after that.
> We make it over to the gallery surprisingly quickly, probably fuelled at least a bit by my worrying about being too late.
> We both straighten ourselves out and brush the dirt off our clothes before heading in.
> Oh, Jesus.
> Everything was going so well, too.
> I just wanted to give Sophie a nice date, straighten her out a bit, maybe have her start acting more like an actual girlfriend.
> And I booked the final thing here?”
> Is this some kind of drug den?
> As soon as we enter, we see a rather… occupied fairy on the front desk.
> She’s alternating between sniffing and licking what looks like a fairy-sized print of Friedrich’s Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog, while attempting to insert some sort of modern art sculpture, nearly as big as she is, into her butt.
> She turns to look at us with empty-looking eyes.
> What if she’s so fucked up she tries to kill us?
> Romanticism is a hell of a drug.
> Someone less than a foot tall shouldn’t be this intimidating.
> “OH FUCK!”
> After staring at us for a moment, she panics, shoving as much of her, er, artistic material behind the counter as she can, pulling her dress back down.
> She perches a blue beret on her head and sits down, trying to pretend she wasn’t doing anything.
> “Ah, h-hello! Welcome to the Galleria Phantasma! I -well- I hadn’t expected such late visitors… aha… ha…”
> As I’m considering what to say, Sophie steps forward.
> “Ah, pardon the late hour, but we’re the Fairewing party. I’ve come with my husband here to peruse your gallery. We were held up, unfortunately, but we’re still very interested in viewing the entire collection.”
> The leanan sidhe begins frantically shuffling through papers on the table, desperately looking through the sheets she disturbed with her play.
> “Oh, was our reservation misplaced? It’s F-A-I-R-E, if that helps any. I’m surprised you weren’t already aware…”
> “Um, p-pardon me, Mrs. Fairewing… w-well, that is, er, I can’t seem to find anything in our files…”
> “Ah, bit of an organisation problem, I see. Pity, we were having such a lovely night before…”
> The fairy looks mortified, holding up a stack of papers in front of herself as a kind of makeshift shield.
> “Er- well, w-we’re terribly sorry about the mix-up, madam… I’ll happily allow you as m-much time as you need… I-I… we couldn’t possibly turn away two VIPs, s-such as yourself and your handsome husband…”
> Sophie relaxes her face and gives the small woman an angelic smile.
> “Ah, thank you for understanding, my dear. I’ll make sure to recommend you to my colleagues, miss…?”
> “Ciara… O-O’Malley… I’m terribly sorry for, well, the inconvenience. Um, please feel free to browse at your leisure…”
> Sophie wraps herself around my arm and marches us into the exhibition hall.
> When we get around the first corner, into the gallery proper, I pull Sophie over.
> “Uh, Sophie? I didn’t make reservations or anything…”
> She gives me a smug look and spreads her wings proudly.
> “Oh, I know… I just thought I’d get us as much time as I could, husband.”
> She giggles.
> Well, I guess she’s not in charge at work for no reason…
> Still, that’s some pretty scary negotiation.
> She pulls the lorgnette glasses out of her purse and holds them up to her eyes.
> “Well, shall we take in the sights, my love? Ehehe…”
> She wraps her fingers between mine and pulls us along.
> I’ve only been to one or two art galleries before, but it’s quite nice, being alone with your date.
> Quite an extensive collection, too, though I suppose the curator probably has some… personal motivations.
> Not sure Sophie’s noticed, though, seems like she’s been staring at me most of the time.
> She perked up a little when I said I liked one of the Van Gogh paintings they have, at least.
> I sit down to give my feet a rest as she heads off to the bathroom.
> I’d say this date’s been a pretty big succe-
> Suddenly, everything goes dark as something is pulled over my head and I’m dragged bodily away from my seat.
> I try to yell, but I’m muffled by whatever sort of sack is over my head.
> When my captor finally stops, the bag is pulled off of my head, revealing a woman in a concealing black robe.
> I’m pushed to the floor, and a pair of handcuffs are snapped around my wrists.
> They’re… fuzzy?
> The woman draws back her hood and grins.
> She laughs obnoxiously loudly at that.
> “Oh, that’s right. But please, call me…”
> She pauses, putting a hand over her face before continuing.
> “…The Dark Snake! You were a fool, not believing that traitor angel.”
> I- well, she’s certainly a cyclops who likes a good laugh, but would she actually go this far?
> “…I didn’t know chuunibiyou was contagious, Dark Snake.“
> A cackle comes from the other side of the room.
> “Oh, I’m afraid this is entirely real, my dear boy.”
> Someone I don’t recognise is on the other side of the room.
> She looks like a fallen angel- black wings and glowing yellow eyes.
> “I, for one, am ever so grateful to you for not believing that meddling angel. Now we can destroy both of you at once.”
> Oh, shit.
> “Who are you?!”
> She grins before bowing.
> “I, you petulent fool, am The Hungry Void, Sarandiel. Your so-called ‘guardian’ is a defector from my little organisation. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? We go under so many different names, after all…”
> No, no, no.
> This isn’t right.
> S-Sophie’s just a chuuni.
> There’s no organisation, I mean, she always seems so unsure about it.
> Why would a thing like that even exist?
> And the names are so… so… stupid.
> Sarandiel giggles at my panic and draws an all-black sword from her hip.
> Yana picks me up off the ground and restrains me while the fallen angel struts closer.
> Just as she points the blade at my throat, I hear a shout.
> Sophie’s at the door, looking furious.
> “Ah, Zophiel. Just the fool I was looking for. You’ll notice I’ve finally got your little boyfriend in my clutches.”
> “Y-you let him go, you… you… WITCH!”
> Sarandiel looks taken aback for a moment, giving a frown and slicing the front of my shirt open with her sword.
> “Maybe I’ll let you live long enough to see me make him my toy, just for that little statement of yours.”
> Sophie bursts into tears and starts yelling angrily while she continues to be taunted.
> Yana decides this is the perfect opportunity to get a hand in my shirt, reaching around from behind me to run a hand up my chest.
> Sarandiel turns toward the cyclops angrily.
> “This was not part of the deal, you incorrigible, one-eyed fool!”
> She shoves Yana away and grabs me by what’s left of my collar.
> “I suppose I’ll just have to take him for myself, then. I hope you like sitting under desks, boy~”
> Sophie collapses to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.
> “W-WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!”
> “B-because I’m your archrival, naturally!”
> “WE WERE HAVING SUCH A NICE NIGHT, BUT NOW YOU RUINED OUR WHOLE DATE, MOM!”
> Wait, what?
> “U-uh, no- wait- I didn’t mean- p-please sweetie, don’t cry, I-I just wanted to- I was talking to your little friend from work a-and…”
> “Y-YOU RUINED MY WHOLE LIFE!”
> Sarandiel looks at me for help, a little teary-eyed herself.
> “Ah! Wa-wa-wait! Mommy’s sorry! P-please!”
> She drops me and runs over to her daughter, starting to loudly sob when she wraps Sophie in her arms.
> As the pair indistinctly blubber apologies into each others’ arms, Yana stands back up beside me.
> “So, handsome~ While you’re still a prisoner of the organisation, so why don’t we-“
> Maybe I was a little harsh, but knowing the mother was just as bad as the daughter was starting to test my patience.
> Knowing that Yana was at least a little bit at fault helped, too.
> “Uh, what’s up Alex?”
> “I may have my hands cuffed behind my back, but I swear to god, I will kick the shit out of you so hard, you’ll forget my name and have to tell your pals that Nobody fucked you up.”
> The cyclops is taken aback for a second and sits down.
> “O-oh, sorry, um, I… s-sorry.”
> The four of us sit around my dinner table.
> I’ve managed to get Sophie to calm down enough to talk by holding her hand.
> Sarandiel and Yana sit across from us, heads bowed.
> “So, you two thought this was a great idea, didn’t you?”
> “Ah, well, she just wanted to see how you guys were doing, Al…”
> “Well, I’m sorry, Mr. Alexander, I just haven’t gotten to see little Sophie in a while, a-and she seemed so excited to get to go out… I… well, I thought it would be fun to… Um, well, we used to do this pretty often, s-so…”
> Sophie pouts a little, trying her hardest to wrap her entire body around my arm.
> “I understand you want a good relationship with your daughter, Madam Fairewing, but didn’t you think, even for a moment, ‘Hmm, maybe there’s a slightly more mature way a mother could introduce herself to her daughter’s boyfriend?’ Even a little?”
> She hangs her head again.
> “And Yana. Hitting on me while I was on a date?“
> “Ah, I was just kidding around a little… it’s kinda funny, seeing the boss getting riled up…”
> “Look, a little bit of playing is all well and good, but did you see how pissed she was? I don’t want to have to deal with cleaning the carpets if my girlfriend comes home one day with your severed head because you were ‘a stupid little slut who couldn’t even appreciate me.'”
> Yana cocks her head at that, but doesn’t say anything else.
> I sigh.
> “Well. Now that that’s done, hello, nice to meet you, Sarandiel, I’m Alex, your daughter’s boyfriend.”
> “Oh, please call me Sara, dear, everyone does.”
> “Ah, is ‘The Hungry Void’ just your job title?”
> She blushes a bit at that and looks away.
> “Er, I’m glad to finally meet you, I’ve been meaning to for a while, Alexander.”
> “Oh, does Sophie talk about me that much?”
> Sara laughs a bit at that.
> “Only all the time! I felt like I knew you personally even before we hired you. I’m glad you’ve settled in so well.”
> “Oh, did you not know? I’m the company president, I’ve just been awfully busy these last few weeks, so I haven’t had time to stop in to meet our new hire.”
> Everyone at the table is looking at me like I’m retarded.
> Fucking fuck shit fuck.
> I want to die.
> “Well, shit.”
> Wait, that wasn’t supposed to come out of my mouth.
> Sara smiles, though.
> “Do you kiss my daughter with that mouth~? Well, no need to answer, I know you’ve done more than that for her, my dear. Heheh.”
> CAN’T WAKE UP
> Boy, Alex, you really told them.
> Sophie’s mom was bound to be reasonable.
> And she said she’d been busy, so you’d never even have to deal with her at work.
> “Come now, boy, no need to be so cold, you know~”
> Even if Sara came to visit, it’d probably just be to check up on things.
> “Could you get off my desk for a second? You’re sitting on a piece of paper I need.”
> And of course, if all else failed, at least Sophie would still be the only one sexually harassing you at work.
> “Why don’t you reach down there and get it?”
> Sara winks and spreads her black wings even further over my desk.
> “I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you. Don’t you have… company president things to do?”
> “Hmm? Oh, no. I really just meet with the shareholders, my CEO really does all the heavy lifting. I’ve got pleeeenty of time to spend with my cute little employees.”
> I give up on ever getting the papers under Sara’s butt and send out an e-mail asking for a digital copy.
> “Speaking of cute… Do you like my lipstick? It’s such a dramatic shade of red, I think it really complements the black wings, you know?”
> I don’t even bother looking up from my computer.
> Maybe she’ll leave if I ignore her.
> “Lovely, I’m sure.”
> “Come ooooon, you hardly even looked.”
> She leans her head in front of my face, blocking my view of my work.
> “But you know, it is a bit of a shame, you know…”
> Sara bites her lip and looks at me seductively.
> “It just seems to get on everything I wrap my lips around, you know…”
> “Care for a demonstration, boy~?”
> She leans a little closer to my face.
> “Sara, I’m not sure if you’ve forgotten, but I’m in a relationship, and with your daughter, no less.”
> “Oh? We can share, can’t we? What’s wrong with a little mother-daughter bonding?”
> THIS FUCKING-
> She brings her face within an inch of my ear to whisper.
> “Or maybe bondage might be a little more your style, master?“
> Does stalking run in families?
> I try to take deep breaths.
> She’s still my boss, I can’t just beat the shit out of her.
> Still, I wonder if Sophie would be mad if I…
> Ah, speak of the angel.
> “Oh, hello, sweetie. I was just suggesting a new timeshare system to your boyfriend here…”
> Sophie spreads her wings and balls her fists, stomping towards her mother angrily.
> “You will not take my charge away from me, you absolute witch.“
> “Ara? Awfully powerful words for a traitor to my corporation, don’t you think?”
> Did she actually just say ‘ara’?
> Like, out loud.
> “Ufufu… I’m sorry, mother, but the darkness I control is more powerful than it ever could have been under you.”
> Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
> Sara jumps to her feet, picking up a l off my desk, rubbing some sort of powder on it before holding a lighter up to the pencil, making it burst into a bright purple flame.
> “DO NOT LIGHT MY OFFICE ON FIRE!“
> Sophie grins at me.
> “Don’t worry, my love! I’ll put an end to this scheming woman once and for all!”
> She picks up the only other pencil on my desk and lights hers on fire as well.
> FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
> Mother and daughter dance around each other, jabbing here and there with the comedically short flaming sticks.
> And getting shorter, too.
> You know, it’s a pity, really.
> Sophie’s got my good pencil.
> Ah, it wrote like a dream, and it kept its sharpness so much longer than the usual HBs do.
> I got it from my favourite professor back in university to write my last final exam with.
> He really believed in the H leads, and I wasn’t really sure about it at the time.
> Ah, I was so young, then.
> Working in an office really opened my eyes to the virtues of a good pencil.
> We’ve been through a lot together, that pencil and I.
> I used him in that fateful interview with the company, he sat in my pocket as my only companion on that first day…
> I’d like to think he was even my finest wingman, especially when-
> “OW! Hothothot… ah…”
> Sara drops the flaming stub of her pencil and stomps out the flame with a high heel.
> “Aha! Now, mother, you’ve lost! Now leave my …b-boyfriend alone!”
> Sophie flinches, dropping the smoking end of the other pencil and stepping back.
> Goodnight, sweet prince.
> “Hmph, you win for now girl, but you’ll both still fall victim to my plans…”
> She blows a kiss as she leaves the room.
> “On Sunday! Make sure you’re hungry, I’m making chicken pot pie!”
> Sophie pouts a little and turns to me.
> “S-she didn’t do anything weird, did she?”
> “I mean, some casual sexual harrassment, but that’s about all.”
> Sophie sits on my lap and starts grumbling about her mom.
> Every few minutes she turns around and won’t let me do anything until I give her a kiss.
> I’m not getting any work done today, am I?
> I… didn’t really expect Sophie to take that invitation seriously.
> But here we are, at Sara’s house.
> You know, I say ‘house,’ but it’s more approaching ‘manor’.
> Well, may as well prepare myself for a night of-
> I hear giggling, and a few angels, probably no older than 10, come swooping down from the roof and almost clip us.
> “Sorry auntie Zophiel! HEY, WAIT FOR ME!”
> I turn to Sophie.
> “Uh, what was… that?”
> She looks down at her boots and shifts uncomfortably.
> “Um… It’s… maybe… a-afamilyreunion-pleasedon’tbemad!”
> “You couldn’t have warned me about your whole family being here? I kind of feel underdressed now…”
> “I-I was scared you wouldn’t want to come if you knew… I-I’m really sorry, Al, I just wanted everyone to meet you… You’re perfect, they’ll definitely love you!”
> She kisses me on the cheek, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside.
> And oh, boy, what an inside it is.
> The main area is huge, but it feels practically claustrophobic with the number of white-winged women here.
> It’s a bit of a relief to see that there’s a few husbands here and there, too, I don’t know what I’d do if I had to be alone in this mess.
> A pair of black wings works its way through the crowd, waving a hand until Sara finally pops out from the wall of angels.
> “Al! Sophie! You’re here! Everyone’s been practically dying to see you! Come on, let’s introduce Al to everyone!”
> What followed was a whirlwind of introductions and handshakes, ‘Zophiel’s cute little boyfriend’ to the adults and ‘Auntie Sophie’s super special secret VIP’ to the kids.
> I honestly couldn’t keep up with any of the names or relations if I tried, so I just decided to make a nondescript mumble and add ‘-iel’ at the end if I had to guess any names.
> After all was said and done, Sara wandered off to work on dinner, leaving Sophie and I alone again.
> Well, I say ‘alone,’ but within a few seconds, a cupid who’d been following us around at a distance finally mustered the courage to present herself.
> Did we meet her?
> Uuuuh, maybe?
> “Ah, hello… mmmmnhmniel, how’s the party?”
> “You remembered my name? Wow, Sophie, you didn’t do too bad for yourself. You can call me Amry, though, Alex, everyone does.”
> She turns to Sophie and gives a lecherous grin before taking a sniff of my date for the night.
> “Ooooh, that’s good, isn’t it? Sooo… Are you two lovebirds going to tell me what you’ve been up to?”
> Sophie blushes profusely, but pulls all three of us close together.
> “O-okay, but you can’t tell anyone else, okay, Amry?”
> The cupid winks at her.
> “Oh, you can trust me, I’m a messenger of love, you know…”
> The next half-hour was an excruciating journey through all the ups and downs of my relationship with Sophie, sparing no expense on the lewd details.
> My only respite was Amry exclaiming ‘oh, you naughty boy’ perhaps a bit too loudly, and definitely too many times.
> By the end of storytime, both Sophie and Amry had a rather pleased look on their faces, and I’m pretty sure they were both drooling a bit.
> I guess it was kind of interesting, though, Sophie talked a little about how she masturbates, and it sounds like she’s been practicing with-
> The cupid pulls me out of Sophie’s earshot for a second and gets close enough to whisper.
> “I think I might have something you’d like, Master Al.”
> She slips a business card into my shirt pocket.
> “I’ve got a -let’s call her a friend– who’s an arachne who specialises in just your sort of… equipment.”
> “Oh, come on, you know. In fact, Brynhildr over there was just talking to me a while ago about how comfortable the silk ropes she makes are. You know, I think she might even be wearing some right now…”
> Amry starts skipping off toward a valkyrie, who notices her and immediately starts trying to surreptitiously run away.
> “I’m gonna go check it out! You two have fun with your night now! Not too much though, I’d hate to see Sophie ruin any rugs~!”
> You know, I’d almost prefer a gruff family who’d have the decency to stay out of my sex life.
> Or, you know, not actively try to seduce me.
> I regret any wishes I may or may not have made.
> ‘Auntie’ Sophie got pulled off by some of the kids because ‘the leader of the evil organisation is in the kitchen! We need to get her!’
> Good to see she’s popular with the young ones, at least.
> I found myself alone, but I decided against going to talk to Sara or finding Amriel again, since either one of those could end up fairly badly.
> So I sat down at one of a few tables.
> It was empty, what could the harm be?
> Sit down, play on my phone and keep my head down.
> I’m halfway through a riveting round of Clash of Wans when-
> “We need to have a discussion, Mr. Alexander.”
> I look up to see a valkyrie, looking angrier than they usually do.
> “U-uh, okay… um… Brynhilde?”
> “Just like a stupid man to forget who his betters are. I’m Sigrun, you worm.”
> “Oh, sorry, I-“
> I’m cut off by the clatter of her white-painted armour as she sits down.
> S-she wouldn’t murder me at a family gathering…
> Maybe she just didn’t hear me apologise?
> “Sorry I got your name-“
> She rests her elbows on the table and leans forward.
> “What are you even doing here?”
> “Ah, Sara invited us-“
> “Us? Us? Who do you think you are? This is Sophie’s family. You don’t belong.”
> “Well, I mean, we’re dating, and Sara invited me along with her… I’m sorry if you’re upset I’m here, but it’s not like I’m an intruder.”
> “OH, YOU’RE DATING! Who decided you were good enough? You can’t remember the names of her family, you don’t know anyone else here, and maybe- maybe you could remind me again how long you’ve known her? Really known her, not just ‘saw from afar’.”
> “A-a few months… like four, maybe? I-it doesn’t matter, how am I going to get to know her better if we don’t spend time together?”
> “Why should she have to?! You’re weak, you don’t even know her and on top of that, you’re accepting her mother’s advances, aren’t you?”
> “No! Why would I want Sara? I’ve got Sophie already, and I really do love her!”
> Sigrun stands, grabbing my collar and pulling me halfway over the table to get into my face.
> “And how do I know you’re not just manipulating her for yourself? Maybe you’re trying to two-time her!”
> “Look, you. I’d never do that to her! If anything, she’d be the one manipulating me!”
> “OH, YOU’RE BLAMING HER NOW, IS IT?!”
> Sophie is standing just a few feet away, tears streaming down her face.
> She takes off, flying over the crowd and up over a balcony onto the second floor.
> Oh, no…
> I try to chase after her, but it’s hard to get around everyone without wings.
> When I finally make it upstairs, I realise I have no idea where she went.
> I try door after door, finally coming to the last in the wing.
> It has a sign on it, drawn in crayon.
> ‘Sophie’s Room! Bad guys stay out!’
> I can hear a soft weeping from inside, so I knock instead of entering.
> “Sophie? Are you there?”
> “Is it… okay if we talk?”
> The door opens just enough for me to see a single bespectacled blue eye, a bit red and puffy from crying.
> “I… I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean that… I just got mad and… it just kind of came out…”
> “It… it really hurt… Do you… not trust me?”
> “Yes! Wait, no! …I trust you. So much, Sophie. I know that sometimes you do weird things, but… I don’t think you’d ever do anything bad to me.”
> “Sophie, um, I don’t know if you heard that part, but… I love you. And, maybe I’m wrong, but… I think you love me, too. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
> Sophie cautiously opens the door, letting me in.
> When I step into the room, she wraps her arms around my chest and hugs me as hard as she can.
> “I-I’m sorry too… my family is always…a-always…”
> She bursts into tears again and buries her face in my shirt.
> “T-they’re so mean! Why did Siggy have to yell at you like that? A-and mom and Amry are always making things weird and…”
> She’s unable to continue talking around her sobs, so I just lead her to the bed and sit down with her.
> Siggy, huh?
> “They’re still your family, though, right? I think they were probably just trying to look out for you, in their own way.”
> “..I guess…”
> She moves onto my lap and we just sit there a while while I stroke her hair, trying to get her to calm down.
> Eventually, we start chatting about her family and who’s at the party.
> I get to hear about such characters as Amry, who’s actually a professional sexologist, not just a pervert, to Barakiel, the
♀♀♀boss♀♀♀of♀♀♀a♀♀♀gym♀♀♀, and Jefischa, a teacher at the high school Sophie and I went to.
> It seems like there’s quite a few interesting characters in the family, but it seems like Sara’s the only fallen angel around.
> “So, uh, Sophie, what’s up with your mom’s wings? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”
> “We’re… not really sure, actually. She’s always acted the way she does now, but there wasn’t really anything that made her turn. She always used to be the bad guy when we played, but when she took the black stuff off her feathers one day, they just kind of… stayed black.”
> “She’s always acted like this?”
> “Yeah… nothing really changed. As far as I’m concerned, she’s always been the leader of the organisation, and one day the universe just caught up.”
> I’m cut off by the sound of a knock at the door.
> “S-Sophie? Are you in there?”
> “Auntie Siggy? Yeah, we are…”
> The valkyrie bashfully pushes the door open and steps in, along with a rather gruff-looking bearded man.
> “Well, Sigrun? Go on.”
> “I-I’m sorry, Sophie… I got a little… heated and said some mean things…”
> “And the boy?”
> “Ah… I… sorry. Bo- Alexander.”
> “Was that so hard? Now, Alexander, why don’t we give these two a moment alone. Walk with me.”
> I leave the room, waving to Sophie as I leave, and nearly walk into the man’s outstretched hand.
> “Sorry about that, boy, she’s protective of little Sophie, even if she’s not so little anymore.”
> I put my hand in his, sharing a somewhat painful handshake with the imposing man.
> “I’m Jan, by the way. Sigrun’s husband, even if some days I’m more like her handler. She means well, so try not to take anything she says too seriously.”
> “Ah, I’m Alex. It’s alright, I can tell she cares.”
> Jan laughs loudly.
> “That’s the spirit! Speaking of them, why don’t we share some spirits together, boy?”
> We manage to spend the rest of the night rather pleasantly, eating, watching Sophie play with the kids and Sara be a busybody hostess, finally acting like a proper mother.
> You know, I say pleasantly…
> Jan seemed quite keen on my company. And beer. Mostly beer.
> “A-ah! Al, are you okay? Just hold onto me, okay? We’re almost to the car…”
> I can barely stand.
> I’m currently focussing all my effort into not vomiting on Sara’s lawn and just getting to the car.
> You know, it’s a bit hard when the ground is moving so much…
> And now it seems to be getting awfully close to my face.
> “OH! A-Al! Can you hear me? J-just hold on, okay? I’m going to get someone to help carry you, then I’ll drive us home, okay?!”
> I manage a slurred groan in response.
> I have juuust enough wherewithal left to roll onto my side before I pass out.
> I wake up to a dark room, on an unfamiliar bed.
> I squint a bit to try and see where I am.
> Sophie’s house?
> I can’t really tell, it looks like the window has cardboard taped over it.
> When I pull it off, it’s… nighttime?
> Shouldn’t it be morning by now? We left around 4 AM last night…
> I feel… not that bad, surprisingly.
> Has it been more than a day?
> I put it out of my mind and head out to the main room.
> Heh, it’d be just like Sophie to do something weird- UH.
> I kind of expected Sophie to be wearing nothing but an apron or something kind of cute-but-weird, but…
> The room’s almost as dark as the one I was just in, but a few candelabras light up the room just enough for me to tell that it’s definitely Sophie’s house.
> The candelabras were a little weird on their own, but on the coffee table, there’s 5 candles standing on their own around a picture of Sophie and I from the party.
> Come on, Alex, you’re just being paranoid.
> T-that’s not a pentagram. Right?
> I try to look away to distract myself when I notice that Sophie’s cabinet with the shrine to me in it is standing wide open.
> And it’s… mostly empty?
> We made up, didn’t we?
> I’m pretty sure I said the right things…
> T-then we just kind of cuddled for a bit…
> She didn’t respond to any of that stuff I said, but… S-she was just upset, right?
> She wouldn’t do anything that bad, she’s like my guardian angel r-right?
> I take a few steps up the stairs.
> Right, this is probably a misunderstanding…. haha…
> We’re gonna laugh so much about this later…
> My blood runs cold when I hear it.
> Soft chanting.
> Not just one voice, but the voices of several women are filtering down from upstairs.
> I’m going to die.
> This is it.
> I’m caught like a rat in a trap.
> I pissed her off, she hates me now, and I’m getting sacrificed to Satan.
> I reach the top of the staircase and confirm it.
> It’s coming from Sophie’s room.
> I reach out a shaky hand towards the doorknob.
> “Ah… I-if I make Al into an angel… so beautiful… can stay with me forever…”
> I slowly turn the knob and open the door as quietly as possible.
> Sophie’s laid out on her bed, halfway naked, except for what remains of a nurse costume.
> She’s masturbating furiously while sniffing- hey! That’s my good pair of boxers.
> Damn those things are comfy.
> Also laying out on the bed appears to be everything out of the cabinet downstairs.
> I step in and trip over a bag, making just enough noise to alert Sophie.
> She panics, sitting bolt-upright in her bed, trying to hide what she was doing.
> “A-Al! Hi, uh, I was just… w-well, um…”
> She looks panickedly around the room before her eyes settle on the speaker system beside her bed.
> “L-listening to some music? Ahaha… d-do you like choral? It’s, um, p-pretty isn’t it? Don’t mind the mess, uh… My photo album exploded!”
> She’s cute when she panics.
> “Oh, let me help you clean up. What time is it, by the way?”
> I lean over and pick up the bag I tripped on.
> “It’s eigh- PLEASE DON’T OPEN THAT!”
> I grin at her.
> She deserves a bit of a scare sometimes, too.
> “Hmm, why? What’s in here that I shouldn’t see?”
> Sophie is practically hyperventilating at this point.
> “Please, please, please don’t! I-it wasn’t supposed to be like this! You were supposed to wake up, a-and then… and then I’d come up to you wearing this… t-then…”
> I tried not to laugh.
> Really, I did.
> It’s just that one stray little giggle managed to escape.
> Sophie looks really upset things didn’t go to plan.
> She’s pouting, half-naked in a pile of pictures of me while imploring me not to open a bag of…
> I take a peek down.
> Bondage supplies?
> Well, I guess she has to keep it somewhere.
> You know, I was pretty sure I was going to be murdered a minute ago.
> She looks really mad now that I giggled.
> Well, let’s make up.
> “Sorry, Sophie. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Last thing I remember was the party, then your setup downstairs looked pretty spooky, and… Do you want to start over?”
> She gives a frustrated nod.
> I need to be very careful, or she’s actually going to kill me this time.
> I stand behind the door of the room I came out of, trying not to laugh.
> We tried a re-do of what was supposed to have happened once already, but Sophie choked on her line, so here I am, back at the starting position yet again.
> “…or me. Or me. Or me… O-okay… you can go now…”
> I open the door and strut out into the hallway.
> “Ah, boy, I sure am glad my girlfriend takes such good care of me, that was a lovely sleep.”
> I figure that if we’ve gotten to this point, I may as well ham it up, too.
> Sophie straightens her skirt and clears her throat.
> “O-oh, good morning, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”
> “Oh, well enough. Much better, now that you’re here, actually.”
> Here it comes, this is where she choked last time.
> Sophie confidently struts up to me and puts a hand on my chest.
> “Well… b-ah… b-big boy… Do you want a bath? Maybe dinner? Or maybe…”
> She leans up to my ear, playfully nibbling before carrying on.
> “…You’d like your angel?”
> I reach around, teasingly slapping her butt.
> “Well, as much as I’d like you for dinner in the bath, I am actually a pretty hungry. Would you get me dinner, miss nurse?”
> “Please eat well, I want you feeling better… for later…”
> I’m led to the kitchen, where Sophie starts heating up some food she’d made while I was sleeping.
> She’s pretty obviously trying to keep my eyes on the hem or the short dress she’s wearing, swaying her hips back and forth as she works.
> “So, mister patient, how are you feeling?”
> “Eh, alright, but… what day is it?”
> She giggles.
> “Just the day after. You slept the whole day away, aside from getting up a few times to make a mess of the bathroom.”
> “Ah, s-sorry, Sophie, I didn’t mean to make extra trouble for you…”
> “Oh, hush. You drank too much, but I just want you to feel better now, okay?”
> She spins on her heel and kisses my nose.
> “Now come on, let’s eat, Al.”
> We sit down and eat, Sophie flirting a little more than usual over the course of the meal.
> We finish, and I push my plate away, pleasantly full.
> “So, Sophie… Don’t want to pry, but… what was that ‘make me an angel’ thing about when you were… enjoying some music?“
> She blushes bright red at the mention of it.
> “W-well… um… I was just thinking… Y-you’d probably have really cute daughters…. I-I didn’t mean that in a weird way! It’s not like we’d have a couple of them and name them Alexandra and Alberta and A… um, haha…”
> Ah. Babies, huh?
> “Well, those kids at the party were pretty cute… Maybe they’d be cuter with some short hair and some big, blue eyes, though.”
> Sophie looks like she’s about to explode- I can’t tell whether it’s happiness or embarrassment, though.
> She stands up and walks over to me, a little awkwardly.
> “Um… Al…”
> “I… I didn’t answer you last night, and it’s all I could think about…”
> She takes a seat on my lap, facing towards me.
> “You were right… um… Al, I-I love you. More than anything…”
> She looks up and meets my eyes, looking hopeful.
> I smile and rest my forehead against hers.
> “I love you too, Sophie.”
> She squeals a little and over-excitedly presses her lips against mine, wrapping her arms around my neck.
> I giggle, rubbing her thigh as she continues, repeating ‘IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!’ as we kiss.
> She’s obviously still a little riled up from playing with herself and lifts her skirt, moving my hand to the waistband of her panties.
> She breaks away a moment and looks at me desperately.
> “P-please touch me, Al…”
> I slide my hand into Sophie’s underwear before locking lips with her again.
> She moans, grinding into my hand when my finger touches her clit.
> I continue teasing her clit while we spiral our tongues around each other, only stopping now and then to take a breath.
> Sophie’s breathing is getting heavier, and she reaches down to touch my dick through my pants.
> She nearly stops when I slide a finger inside of her drooling hole, but then resumes, rubbing my dick up and down enthusiastically.
> Breaking the kiss, she rests her head on my shoulder, panting with the stimulation but never stopping her grinding against my fingers.
> She moans loudly when I slide a second finger inside her, but grabs my wrist with a shaky hand to stop me.
> “Ffff- A-Al… I need you… now.”
> I kiss Sophie again and scoop her up into a princess carry.
> “Well, let’s go somewhere more private than the kitchen, then.”
> I carry her upstairs and push open the door to her room with my foot.
> I hadn’t noticed she’d set up some unfortunately-shaped mood lighting in here, too.
> I sit her down at the foot of her bed, but she grabs me by the belt and keeps me from moving to sit down beside her.
> Wrapping her wings around my waist, she pulls me closer, fumbling a bit while she unbuckles my belt and slides down my pants.
> She stares at my dick a moment before softly kissing the head, licking a dribble of precum off.
> Satisfied, she lies back, spreading her legs and stretching her hands out towards me.
> “Please… take me…”
> Crawling onto the bed to meet her embrace, I take hold of one of her hands, wrapping my fingers around hers.
> “Sophie, I really… I love you.”
> She smiles warmly, taking my penis and lining it up.
> “Why don’t you show me, master?”
> “Oh, hush.”
> I kiss her and slowly press into her, bottoming out all the way inside.
> “Does it hurt, Sophie?”
> “I-I feel so full… It feels good, s-so keeping going, okay?”
> I slowly slide back until only the tip is still inside her.
> She sighs in satisfaction and pulls me back towards herself.
> I press my body against hers and begin to piston my hips back and forth, Sophie’s sweet moaning encouraging me to go faster and faster.
> “A-ah… shi- ah… Al…”
> I can’t hold out much longer, but Sophie wraps her sweaty body around mine.
> “G-give it to me, please, please, o-oh god, I’m gonna…”
> I hilt myself one last time inside of her, spraying my cum into her spasming body.
> Finally, I fall onto my side, exhausted.
> Sophie keeps her hold on my hand and rolls over to face me.
> “I love you so much, Al.”
> “That’s right, my love, I was part of the organisation all along!”
> I push Sophie onto the bed and start aggressively kissing her.
> “Oh, my! Betrayed by my own husband!”
> She gives me a saucy look over the top of her glasses.
> “Whatever shall I do?”
> “H-hey! Get off mom, you evil guy!”
> I’m startled to see 7-year-old Alexandra jump into the room.
> Uh-oh, the kids aren’t supposed to see this.
> Gotta think fast.
> “Ohoho, a so-called ‘hero’ has arrived! Well, let me tell you this, young lady… I am your father!”
> She fakes surprise and falls to her knees.
> “NO! It can’t be possible!”
> I cackle as menacingly as I can manage, bringing a hand up as though I were wearing a cloak.
> “I’m afraid it’s all true, my dear. You’re… a dark guardian!”
> Oriel, her twin, irritatedly steps into the room.
> “Oh, hey, Orry, help me fight the dark dad!”
> “Ally! Why do you always ruin it! We were supposed to be practicing spying with gramma Sara!”
> I rush to the door, grabbing Sophie’s mother by the collar before she can escape.
> “And where do you think you’re going, grandma? I think you need a talk on how to be a good role model.”
> “Ehehe… Well, y’see Al, we just got a little bored waiting, and-“
> The doorbell rings.
> “They’re here!”
> “Let’s go get Uncle Jack instead!”
> Ah, I was hoping my brother and his kids wouldn’t be here until a bit later.
> I wasn’t going to go too far, scout’s honour.
> Sophie pouts a bit, but I manage to placate her with one more kiss.
> “C’mon, let’s let the girls play with their cousins. You’ve got some fluffy sheepgirls to hug, too, missy.”
> Sophie smiles and grabs my hand.
> “Fine, but you’re getting defeated tonight, Mr. Bad Guy.”
> I grin back at her.
> “Oh, I wouldn’t have it any other way, Mrs. Dark Guardian.”