Free Hugs

>Be a cockatrice that lacks a good cock.
>I feel sorry for writing that now.
>Be a member of your school’s sports club.
>Seems fitting, doesn’t it?
>At any rate, unlike normal cockatrices, you’re a special snowflake.
>In other words, your pheromones are shit.
>And that’s why you lack a good cock.
>It’s totally not because you’re more of a coward when it comes to men than most basement dwelling virgins.
>Oh wait.
>Go to Cheshire friend before you start questioning your existence.
>She might have a good idea.
>Oh, who are you kidding, that faggotcat will humiliate you.
>And not in the kinky way either.
>Explain your situation to her and wait ’till she thinks of how to ruin your reputation.
>Watch her as she grabs a nearby deus-ex-pen-cardboard-and-rope.
>She writes ‘Free hugs’ on the cardboard and ties it around your neck.
>Hey, this might actually work. It’s not so bad.
>Go outside.
>Filthy fat rednecks start to crawl out of the ground, sewers and basements.
>They eye you up and start jogging towards you with their uncut dicks pointing towards your virgin pussy.
>Gag a little at the sight.
>As desperate as you might be, at least you have standards.
>Start to run.
>Question your sanity as the world around you narrows down into a single road, and a health bar appears over your head.
>Why is this a sidescroller all of a sudden?
>Virgin approaches you.
>Jump on his head.
>Gain 100 points.
>Pause.
>Yep, a sidescroller.
>Whose idea was this?
>Oh right, faggotcat’s.
>Resume.
>Continue running, jumping on the head of any fat fucker that stands in your way.
>Hey, this is actually pretty fun.
>Miss your jump and bump into a virgin.
>Scream as he starts fondling your tight bird ass.
>See the “PRESS A AND B TO ESCAPE” notice in front of you.
>PRESS A AND B
>Escape from the virgin’s hands.
>Kick him in the face.
>+100
>Pause.
>Ok, so, one of those hentai sidescrollers.
>This should better not be over 10 dollars.
>Resume.
>Run and crush the hopes and dreams of every fucker you come across on your mad run.
>Go into a dark castle.
>Why are there lava pits in here?
>Jump over the lava pits and dodge the spirits of angry cucks.
>They’re still salty from those mindbreak stories.
>No one forced them, so, don’t feel sorry for them.
>Reach a bridge that’s suspended over a lava pit.
>Pause.
>This is oddly familiar.
>Hope that it’s not copyrighted.
>Resume.
>An obese old man sits at the end of the bridge.
>He starts throwing shitty fanart of his OCs at you.
>Dodge the cancer, and kick him in the goonads.
>Watch him as he curls up in a fetal position, wailing in pain.
>Tell him that his waifu is garbage, and that he’s just the lowest scum of society.
>Go past his sorry ass, and enter the deepest chamber of the castle.
>See your faggotcat friend there.
>”Thanks for saving me, friend. But your cock is in another castle!”
>You’ve had enough of her shit.
>Beat that smug grin out of her with your cardboard sign.
>Damn, this thing is pretty sturdy.
>Go into the actual deepest chamber of the castle.
>Find the captain of the sport’s team there.
>A secret boss!
>Run right into him, and do what most hentai game players do.
>Lose on purpose.
>Get fucked raw.
>This is ok.
>Credits starts to roll.
>The end.

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2 thoughts on “Free Hugs”

    1. Read it but forgot to comment.

      I don’t see what you need to apologise for. It was quite funny in places and had me rolling at the references to Internet stuff and how movies end. The ratings of this story show how seriously your audience takes you, and that includes my rating.

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