Today I decided to write about the marriage laws. They’re pretty interesting but frowned upon by every religious human and at least fifty percent of paladins, but that’s just me pulling statistics out of my ass.
Now what they are is a contested love act, and what that means is when two mommies love a daddy they, one of them doesn’t have to be a mistress. The only reason that this law exists is because degenerates like me and sluts like them have too much love, and cum, to give. This all started in 1995 their time with some disowned paladins having harems.
As a fight back political leaders in the uh, “monster girl community” wanted to have polygamy. In truth succubi and demonesses just wanted harems as well. After I got adopted by a loving Cheshire family that probably scarred me for life I got put in a sensitivity training type of thing where girls who signed up that wanted to be with humans could interact.
Now I was adopted when I was 14 so this was really new to everyone, in fact, human governments didn’t allow the mamono peoples to set foot on earth. It wasn’t until the prime minister of Costa Rica, or president, I don’t really know. Got some really weird sexually transmitted infection, and it was at that point there was a civil war between the human world and the mg world, but not so much in other portal cities.
And it’s at this time Nat actually decided to fight in this civil war or at least one of them, she never mentioned how many she was a part of. But considering the scars and she left with the rank of lieutenant I’d say a lot more than she’s claimed. But back to the sensitivity training, I remember the holst that I stayed with I only really remember her face.
Everything else was a bit of a blur, actually thinking back I don’t remember much from my childhood or teenage years other than my Cheshire adopted sister, my adopted Cheshire mother who by the way probably makes the best tasting fish casserole I’ve ever had, and my stepdad’s car accident that killed him.
Sis was the one who took that the hardest since her dad enabled her racing fantasies, building her go karts and letting her take the car to track days. I just sat on my ass there mostly through schooling and got a business degree, I didn’t take his death too hard considering how fucked up I am, hell I have two wives for god’s sakes, that’s two rings for each hand. But thankfully I stopped there.
So going from home to home and experiencing their kind of ‘strange’ I finally ended up with Nat. I remember her sitting in a coffee shop vacantly staring into her cup. I remember sis walking over to her as I stared, not knowing what was going on. From what Nat has told me my sister told her, “My brother really likes you and wants to go out.” At least from what I can recall, she turned her head and I was just staring like a drooling idiot. She smiled at me and I kind of waved back, not a good wave but one like a down syndrome kid would do when he steps on a lego. Women don’t normally make me act that way and the two that have married me.
I remember me and Nat hitting it off exceptionally well. I learned that she was only 43 years old which equivalates to 37-35 if my math’s correct which it never is, in human years. I also learned that she was down to clown on the first date, and I found that out the hard way.
Dropping her off at her apartment doorstep, and as I was walking away she turned around and tossed me over her shoulder to bring me inside for some hanky panky. The one thing that was odd was her tiny apartment only had a bed, it was barren but with Nat’s history, there was nothing really to hold onto. I also learned that night that a sweaty hairy muff is the best that you can taste. I also found out that night that Jinko’s love water, and that drowning is not sexy.
And while this was going on there was a rather promiscuous lab researcher, and what I wasn’t picking up on was that she was laying down sticky traps so she could claim me as her own. But then again that’s what happens when a spider really wants something, they kind of don’t tell you and just do. Let’s just say whenever you go to a bathroom check the ceiling.
Also if you’re injected with any kind of venom of any sort drink lots of water. Suffice to say she liked me enough that she took me home, it was more of a really big apartment made for spiders full of really nice stuff, but then again you can afford it when you patent something that lots of people use every day.
And through my venom filled brain I managed to get out that I was already seeing someone. Now what I was thinking ‘now this is how I get disemboweled by a Jinko’ because standing there on the balcony was Nat. Now I thought she had been worried sick because I wasn’t back “home” but all those thoughts fell away as I head the spider, Henrietta, call out her name.
“Thanks for letting me have first dibs before we share him” I remember her saying.
After that sweaty sex filled night we just kind of meshed together, a 35-year-old spider researcher and a 38-year oldish ex-special forces spider girl, and me some dumb shit guy adopted by Cheshires. And from what I’m told I look extremely cute when I’m blushing super hard, because that’s what I was doing apparently when they dragged me to get the marriage licenses.
And that’s how basically we came to be, I’m sure I’ll remember more detailed stories later. For now, I’m working on a big project Henrietta’s not too happy with, but you gotta do what makes you happy or at least feel something.