A New God: Chapter 3; Human

Shortest one of the three chapters out. This one less words than many papers I’ve written. I feel it ends on a relatively good spot.

A minotaur was the first to challenge the man only seconds following the disrespect he showed the Lilim. Even for a minotaur she was particularly big. She had to have been at least 8 feet tall.
Charging the man she swung an axe that must’ve weighed a few hundred pounds with everything she had. The force would’ve proven enough to fell just about any tree. 
At the last second the group of knights looked away, fully expecting the thing to be cut in half like most things would at such primal force.
They were not privy to the messy wet sounds of tendons being severed. The crunch of bones snapping. Several seconds after the axe would’ve made contact with the creature the first sounds in awhile graced the icy fields below the mountain.
In truth Velthas didn’t even feel discomfort let alone pain but with his rapidly returning humanity he felt the need to at least humor the girl.
The axe had proven sufficient to break his hide. And not much else.
It had lodged itself maybe a centimeter deep in the meat of the his left arm. Drawing no blood.
The minotaur gasped and did all in her power to dislodge the axe from the man but found she couldn’t even budge it. Such was the strength of the god-thing’s flesh.
The man looked at her quizzically tilting his head to the side.
He reached a hand towards her head.
Every instinct in the minotaur told her that hand meant nothing but a quick death. That the man would crush her skull in his hand like an over-ripe fruit.
She pulled at the axe with renewed vigor, but still found she couldn’t remove it from the hold the thing’s flesh had on it.
The hand inched closer. Almost all the mamono looked away terrified of what would happen. Most of them had never seen death, let alone one so gruesome and callous as the one they expected to befall the poor girl.
The minotaur closed her eyes. Not wanting to see the hand inching closer. She felt the hand reach her, and then nothing. She didn’t feel dead. Did anyone really feel death when it claimed them?
And then the hand started to run its’ fingers through her hair. The minotaur gasped and slowly stopped struggling. It took her another few seconds for her to fully relax, releasing her hold on the axe. 
Even without the Minotaur’s hands on it, the sliver of the thing’s flesh held the monstrous weapon parallel with the ground. Like the minotaur had never actually bore it’s weight.
Several second later she was pushing her head into his hand. Eager to receive more of his pampering.
The thing…the man exhaled.
Velthas let the girl enjoy his ministrations for a few more moments. 
She was rather…cute? Was that the word for it?
Regardless eventually as his fingers continued massaging the girl’s scalp, the veins in his arms started to glow more brightly. 
The minotaur that seconds earlier had struck him with everything she could muster fell unconscious, and made to fall into the snow face first.
The man caught her and laid her down on her back.
She started snoring with a goofy grin on her face, and made to latch onto the man’s arm still around her back like it was some manner of stuffed animal. 
The man allowed her to for a few scant moments. Then his veins again glowed brighter and pulsed faster. He removed the arm from the sleeping girl’s grasp, as she started to nuzzle nothing into her chest.
Like she thought the man was still there.
The mamono were silent for a long time afterwards.
Velthas had begun to recall the virtues, and lessons he had learned and ingrained deeply within during his time as a knight. The lesson he displayed here was that mercy was a privilege of the strong.
Such a peaceful and graceful manner of conflict resolution may have not been available to him had his strength not been so overwhelming.
Illusion magic was not a particularly energy consuming use of his power.
Especially when the minotaur so greatly wanted to fall asleep in his arms, and for him to let her nuzzle him close.
The….head-pats? Yeah, those. They had been very real and Velthas derived a small sense of enjoyment from them.
Velthas gazed out at the gathered monsters. Oh yeah that’s right. He wasn’t done. He looked to his left shoulder with the axe still embedded in the meat of his tricep.
With his right hand he gripped the axe and pulled it loose with no real visible effort, and started to gaze at the small gash in his arm.
Before all those present the gash started to knit itself shut until there was no indication anything had ever been there. Featureless pale flesh all that remained.
He kept the axe in his hand and ran his fingers down it. Enveloping it in a softly glowing light. Then he seemed to exude darkness, and the clearing at the base of the mountain seemed to grow darker in turn. Like he was eating the light. Using it to fuel what came next. Velthas started to walk toward the gathering slowly growing larger as he did so, the darkness growing more consuming as he drew nearer. When he stood less than twenty paces from the Lilim, he stood taller than the minotaur did.
Many of the gathered monsters had dropped out of the stances they had assumed. 
The lilim who felt she was personally disrespected was not one of them.
She was the next to assault Velthas when the vitriol of most were quelled by his actions earlier.
She rose into the air far above the gathering of monsters, humans, and whatever Velthas was. She started to gather a ball  of verulean energy in her hands. When it was as big as her she launched it at him. Seemingly uncaring of the monsters and knights around Velthas. 
Velthas for his part let her. He could’ve thrown the axe at any point and stopped the channeling. 
When the green mass of energy was only a few feet from his face Velthas lashed at it with the axe.
The following explosion would’ve likely killed most present but the axe seemed to draw the explosion inwards. Bathing Velthas in its’ energies. He was invisible for a few seconds, until the whir of wind met the gathered ears of those around. And then again. And again. Faster and faster the wind parted. The energy around Velthas rapidly started to lessen in magnitude, until again he was visible.
When the energies that had encompassed him were entirely spent he was smiling.
Viscous Blue fluid leaking from his mouth, eyes and nose. His mail was charred and his body was burnt black, the oils in his skin fuel for the conflagration that had engulfed him. He fell to his knees still smiling.
The lilim had an air of smugness about her. The other monster were glaring daggers at her.
Then they all heard clapping. Not the slow kind one might use to show light amusement, but a rapid excited sort of fanfare.
The eyes that were on the lilim drifted towards Velthas to find him clapping. Still on his knees. His smile wider than it had been before.
“I imagine if I still could I probably would’ve gone into shock. Not bad. Not bad at all. Of course now its my turn.”
His face contorted. His smile unnaturally wide. He stood. The effort causing his burned tissues to tear. Not that he seemed any the wiser or slower in the motion. He struck the ground with the axe bathing himself in the ensuing rush of snow and ice. His burned tissues seemed to drink in the water, and while they were still badly burnt they now no longer sizzled or cracked as he moved.
He started to make his way towards the lilim whose look of smugness had long since left her.
Contessa couldn’t wait any longer. She began to rush at the mage, knocking other mamono aside with her charge . She reached the front leaving behind the irritated monster girls and started to barrel at the man….who did nothing?
He was still walking at the lilim who had begun to smile upon seeing her.
True she was out of his direct line of sight but shouldn’t he have seen her in the corner of his eyes or heard her?
That spell from the lilim had boiled the fluid in Velthas’ eyes.
He had spread most of the remaining fluid to reinvigorate his burned limbs. He was now mostly blind. 
It popped his eardrums almost immediately and he was now entirely deaf. His nose was still charred beyond all repair; gone was his sense of smell.
It didn’t mean much to him. He doubted the Lilim would move from her spot. Her species curiosity keeping her pinned in place. The sensory deprivation was nothing new to him. He had long walked the blackness between the planes and felt nothing then, and he somehow  felt even less now. 
Before Velthas had reached the Lilim he felt something through his singed nerves, and his sense of balance told him he was on his back.
To the rampant cheering of all the mamono present and utter horror of the knights the hellhound had mounted the Sorcerer…

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6 thoughts on “A New God: Chapter 3; Human”

  1. I’m not really fond of OP character and all, but for now it’s not bad at all, there is some incoherences here and there though :

    – In the first chapter it’s mentionned that destroy the meteor drain most of the power he have for the day, but right after he is transporting some lakes or things like that…

    – Can’t the monster just teleport as well? (Well seing how the human struggle and the number of monster , you have a good excuse here actually)

    – The axe’s minotaur is not made of Demon Realm Silver? That’s not realy convenient for catching a husband alive.

    – In fact, why it look like all the monster are trying to kill him? Monster don’t usually arm human, so what is wrong with that lilim and that minotaur?

    – Why the monster don’t just attack him all at once? They know he is incredebly strong, they know he destroy a whole motherfucking meteor…

    – In fact why did they attack him in the first place? They know they didn’t stand a chance and they are pretty competent at charming people, why don’t the lilims jus do that?

    To be honest, you can easily find explanation to all that (Velthas is only weakened by the destruction of the meteor, the monster are trying to use that, etc…), but the mamono look pretty agressive toward Velthas, trying to kill him, which is unlikely from them.
    Seriously, the lilim look even disapointed that he is still alive, shocked that he is still going while he is tissue are tearing, like she was expecting him to die… And if you are trying to kill him then attack him all at once, it make no sense here!

    I think the problem here, is that you are trying to treat the conflict like a classic conflict where vilain are trying to kill the MC, but because the MC is OP he don’t die, and display all his power to both the reader and the other character.
    The problem is : Mamono have no reason to trying to kill him in the first place, and they will mostlikely never will.
    (Well i’s how I personnaly see it ^^)

    1. He’s literally senseless at the end to be fair. The only way to kill such a busted character is attrition and that’s pretty much what I tried to show. Again may have failed.
      Do you have any idea how much more energy is involved in blowing apart an object that’s moon sized? A “few” (maybe as many as 4 to 6) orders of magnitude more energy than moving lakes.
      The axe could’ve been demon realm silver, and simply effected him like normal metal because of how alien his anatomy is.
      Kill might be the wrong word choice. Because they’re all pretty sure that’s something they can’t do.

      1. Yea, the whole “he is weakened by destroying the meteor” make a lot of sense actually ^^

        Also, the fact the lilim is “like a child” as you explain to theOneTheyCallMonk, make sense too.
        (Except for the fact that no one really bat an eye at the minotaur or lilim behaviour, there is 2 other lilim in the group right?)

        Regardless those little details, it’s a good story. ^^

  2. I feel like I’m missing something very important here. I’ve read through both chapters a couple times trying to put pieces together, and I just keep getting more and more confused.

    We have confirmed that he’s powerful enough to blow up a comet, so… Why is the Lilim trying to kill him exactly? Because he slighted her? I mean, okay, but that seems like a pretty silly excuse to make an enemy of the guy who essentially stopped an apocalypse. Now, if her pride is at stupidly high levels, that would make sense, but I (as the reader) don’t know her well enough to get that vibe yet.

    If they are trying to murderize the guy, I gotta echo Dreamer here, why aren’t they all just bum rushing the dude and hack him into tiny pieces? The guy stopped a meteor and the Lilim has made the rather stupid group decision to make an enemy of him, why aren’t they making sure that he stays down? If they don’t want to kill him, that’d be fair enough, but nothing has suggest that they want nothing more than to turn this guy into bite sized chunks.

    1. I tried to give the vibe that that particular lilim was stupidly prideful and vain with the whole “like a child” line in chapter 2. May have failed.
      The impression I tried to give here was that he was more or less out of internal power entirely. Hence why he had to redirect energy already in his environment to do some biomancy.
      Again there’s still that intimidation factor. The dude is still hideously powerful.

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